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social media 380x253 The last person to join Facebook

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Last week Facebook informed me that one of my “friends” was having a birthday. That friend was my father. We’ve been friends for awhile now, I guess our friendship really bloomed when he drove me home as a newborn from the hospital.

With his brand new iPad for Christmas, my father became the final member of my immediate family to enter the world of Facebook. Or as he refers to it “The Facebook”. Occasionally I’ll mention an event and he’ll say “oh yes, your mother showed me the pictures on The Facebook“.

He’ll be using his iPad mostly to read the newspaper. For the past 50 years he’s had a choice between the daily tabloid which is printed in a city 300 kms away and a twice weekly local newspaper. He will now move to a virtual explosion of icons and app subscriptions. In the palm of his hand will be hundreds of links to literally thousands of stories, newspapers from all over the world. As a bloke who has spent his entire life living in a rural community in South Australia, technology has made the world a shed load smaller. I can’t imagine him ever giving up the local paper (I still read it myself) but I can definitely see some additions to his reading.

It was late 2005 when I signed up for Facebook, our relationship has changed a lot over the years. It began as a way of keeping in contact with friends on the other side of the world and sharing photos of our kids with my family. When I went back to work it was used as a recruiting tool, and then it became all about sharing and receiving information. What I enjoy the most about Facebook now is the links, the information that gets forwarded, the jokes that are made and the insight provided perhaps from a complete stranger. I can choose to ignore or choose to read, but it’s my choice. In the past fifteen minutes I’ve read why I shouldn’t text and walk, watched the worlds coolest flight attendant, and seen a picture of the fog in Beijing this morning – it was taken by a friend as she cycled with her children to school.

For a traveller, social media can perhaps become a little bittersweet, while it’s great to scroll through the photos of the wedding, the new nephew and a close up of the Sunday roast – it’s another reminder of what you’re missing. If you’re a long term traveller like me, you’ll remember the days of waiting weeks for the next letter and gasping at the telephone bill after that drunken international call was made. If only you could remember what you said.

I remember making my way through the ABC store on each trip home, clunky video tapes were stuffed in to suitcases, we were desperate to hear a familiar accent and be able to contribute to the “have you seen it?” conversation on the next trip home. Now, for half the price, it’s a matter of a download and we’re watching Paper Giants, The Slap and Red Dog.

Can you remember waiting for 15 minutes for the pixels to download? Last week after watching my parents push their faces up against the screen while singing Happy Birthday on Skype, I felt an immediate urge to send Mr and Mrs Skype a thank you note. I wanted to explain what they’d given me when they came up with their marvelous invention.

Thanks to social media there have been times I’ve seen and read about events in Australia before my parents and friends have. Election results have arrived instantly, sporting events are streamed live and thanks to Mark Colvin, who I don’t think ever sleeps, I’m provided with constant news links from his @colvinius twitter account. The Daily Beast, The New York Times, The Huffington Post and The Guardian provide constant information, and a neat little application called Flipboard has rolled it all in to one and made me the editor-in-chief of my own little social media magazine.

Facebook may not be for everyone, but perhaps like anything social we just need to find our clique, my glass of bubbles is your vodka tonic. If Twitter and Facebook are not your thing it’s possible you’re like my husband who scoffs at the idea of time lines and status updates but makes a daily pilgrimage to Linked In. Or maybe you’re like my girlfriend Penny who barely “switches her Facebook on” but is a regular on Words with friends.

Whatever you’re up to, there’s no doubt that social media is here to stay.

Kirsty Rice is an Australian writer and Blogger currently living in Qatar. This piece was originally published on her blog, which you can find here.

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50 Comments so far

  1. aussiemama

    as an Aussie expat living overseas these past 6 years i could not have survived without Facebook and other social media. Friends take pleasure in teasing me about the time i am online but they don’t understand the connection it gives when living thousands of miles away from them, in another time zone.
    Skype is awesome! My daughter is spending quality time with her grandparents in Sydney via skype for 8-10 months of the year (either they visit us or we visit them the rest).
    Social media means that when we do fly home to Sydney for a short visit, conversations just pick up from the last FB comment … we’re in sync with each other and not playing catch up from the previous years visit.
    Agree with all you say, social media is here to stay :)

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  2. Kate

    My dad is hilarious. He uses a computer ALL the time and has had one since home computers were a viable option. He had a mobile phone before anyone else I know and is completely up on all the technology. The funny thing: he is in a position of authority at his work and has quite a number of apprentices and “Young” people under his charge. One of them said something along the line of “Do you need my help figuring out how to download that file”. And my dad just replied, “No, sonny boy, I am prettty good with this world wide intergoogle thingy”. When he was recounting the story to me, I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so much. He did the “dottery old man” voice and pretended to lean on a walking stick too. Too funny!

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  3. Eleanor

    I’m nearer 70 than 60 and I use social media to keep in touch with friends and family. I have also made friends using both Facebook and Twitter. It is essential to keep up to date with technology and my next purchase (pension permitting) is an iPad.

    So, I say good for your father! I would like my husband to take an interest but fishing is his main love. I show him videos on YouTube and some of the weedy generational jokes that make us both laugh … Clearly, your mother is au fait with technology so maybe it is a gender/age thing?

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  4. Michelle

    I have very mixed feelings about social media.

    I am not a fan of Twitter. I don’t like that it’s all words and no pictures. But, that’s just me. I’m a very visual person…I am inspired by pictures and am really liking using Instagram as a completely different form of social media.

    I do feel very conflicted about Facebook. I like it because it allows me to catch up with family and friends who live far away from me in an instant. We can share photos of our kids and of important events in each other’s lives that we have missed because we are separated by distance…that I LOVE. What I don’t like is the crappy quotes, pictures, and videos that some people post on their walls that they think are funny. I am sure there are many who know what I am talking about! But, it’s their Facebook account and they can do what they want with it. I just ignore it and trawl my way through it.

    Yes, Facebook – and all social media, for that matter – definitely has its good and bad points.

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  5. michellebarraclough

    I just love using The Facebook on the internet machine. And I’m quite the twit as well, if I do say so myself.

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  6. Lisa

    I recently set my nearly 60 year old mother up with the Internet for her to do her online banking, paying bills etc and set her up with an email so she can exchange those really bad joke emails that only her generation would find funny. I asked her if she wanted a Facebook profile set up and she replied “oh no I don’t believe in Facebook” um she doesn’t even know what Facebook is hahaha :)

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  7. Simone

    My parents aren’t on The Facebook and I’m kinda glad. Even at 41 I don’t really want them to know all that I get up to or what my friends are doing. My mum however bought an iPhone so she can play Words With Friends with everyone. She’s obsessed. If you don’t have a go for a while she sends you a ‘hurry up’ text. She’s driving me nuts!

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  8. Lulu

    I’m not on The Facebook, & AFAIK, neither are my parents. Not sure about my brothers. My parents use Skype to call my overseas brother & his wife, & see the grandkids.

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  9. kateinlondon

    I also thank those amazing Skype people after each call. They enabled my parents to hear my son’s first words (‘ball’. He is a genius), open our Christmas presents together, and see my daughters first crawl last week. Viber is also pretty good for a long free phone chat.

    My parents (in their 70s) are huge users of technology, social media, ebaying, skyping, facetalking….. They came to the game late, but have now had to implement a ‘no phones in bed’ rule after they both became too obsessed with staying connected.

    I have to hide my online Skype status sometimes, as my great aunt (in her 90s) loves a daily chat. Mind you, she also gets up in the middle of the night to check the stock market in New York, (on her special big screen with large font for the eyes) so maybe she’s not so typical of her age group…

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  10. Anonymous

    ‘The Facebook’
    Love it!

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  11. Kylie L

    Fabulous post! I’m no fan of FB, I have to admit, but ohhhhh- I know what you mean about Skype. I told my mother I was pregnant via a very early incarnation of Skype, while she was in Aus and we were living in Scotland- being able to see her face and her thrill at a long-awaited first grandchild was priceless, and something I’ll never forget. She had my sister in the UK 44 years before that and told me she’d had to write to tell her own mother, as phonecalls were too expesnive and they didn’t have a phone in their student quarters at Manchester Uni anyway. How times have changed. Lovely piece Kirsty :)

    PS. You know it actually *was* called The Facebook to start with? The The got dropped after the first month or so- your dad is technically correct, if completely behind the times. Still well ahead of my husband though, who uses NO social media at ALL (though he’s an IT professional) and says stuff like “How are your tweeter friends?” and “are you going to twitter tonight?”

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    • Kris2040

      My Dad and stepmother have a computer and are both proficient at using it, but Dad still says stuff like “Oh yeah, I saw the photos you sent through on the machine”.

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      • Sally

        My dad was super excited when he bought “an internet”.

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  12. jcinerari

    My 80 year old parents-in-law skype their relatives and friends back in Italy all the time. They only wish it was around when they emigrated 60 years ago. There are so many people they never saw again. It was a long time before they could afford a visit. No matter your age or circumstance, there is some form of social media for you.

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  13. cosmos42

    As I’m reading down the comments I’m becoming increasingly irritated. I am nearer 70 than 60 and have a FB account plus Twitter etc. What irritates me is the patronising tone people have towards their elders. Get a life, wait and see what you will be doing when you’re are no longer young and then have to put up with the snide remarks made about you. Putting people in little boxes of opinion is a sure sign of stupidity. There I’ve said it!

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    • Kirsty Rice

      My son asked me if cars existed when my husband and I went to school – or did we ride horses. I gave a very indignant “it was the eighties when we were at school!” and his reply was “exactly, that was like 100 years ago”.

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  14. Flotsam

    I had to tell my mum that liking your own Facebook status is not cool. Nor is liking your own comment. Who knew my mother still had the power to embarrass me at almost 40?

    “The Facebook”…so adorable! Less adorable is my mum’s habit of calling wireless internet “radio boradband”. She maintains that a wireless and a radio are the same thing therefore it makes perfect sense! I point out that those terms were interchangeable in 1954 but not anymore!!!!

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  15. Bella

    My dad (65) and I (29) are also the final members of our family to join facebook, Dad’s reason is that a lot of competitions he wants to are enter by liking a particular page and my reason is on Christmas day it was hard to be in a conversation with any family member (close and extended) because most conversations started with “Oh did you see what whoever wrote on fb” or everyone standing around holding there phones waiting to see what next funny thing the cousin in WA wrote…..I think I was born in the wrong century, whats wrong with good ol email or heaven forbid, the phone?

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  16. I dropped off Facebook…I actually find that Twitter is a much more “social” network than Facebook…

    Facebook is increasingly feeling like “bloatware”…there’s so much useless function that I don’t use…and the Timeline still feels like a gimmick…it doesn’t really enhance the social aspect of FB…but that could just be me….

    Twitter is still largely pure and unsullied by too much unwanted features…it probably won’t stay that way, but while it does it’s my choice of social media.

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    • Kirsty Rice

      I know what you mean, I use them both in a very different way. I have a lot of friends that don’t Tweet but are happy with Facebook and I have to admit that I love Facebook for catching up with friends overseas. I wouldn’t post family pics on Twitter but I do on Facebook (particularly for family and friends who are overseas). What I’m finding interesting now is that I NEVER send long emails anymore – anyone else like that?

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      • I still write long e-mails, but only to my inner circle…and usually only when a Twitter exchange is getting too long, complicated or personal…

        :)

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        • Lu

          I just pick up the phone…..sounds like I’m a dinosaur! I’m on twitter, just for school sport info, but I dont get it, the whole hashtag thingy has me scratching my head. And no I dont have nits.
          Can someone please explain, for example if I’m watching tv and they ask for feedback via twitter how do you do that?

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          • Anna

            So let’s say the TV show you wanted to give live feedback on was Q & A. If you use a hashtag before the name (or whatever hashtag the show requests you to use) it indicates you’re talking about that particular topic, and more importantly, makes your tweet highly searchable.

            As lots of viewers will use it all at once, it is easy for the show’s producers to scroll through in real time and see what the audience is saying about them, chose the best comments and put them up on screen.

            The main difference between the hashtag (eg. #qanda) and using a TV show’s actual @ name (eg. @QandA) is that you’re not necessarily directing your comment to them, more sending it out into the twittersphere knowing they, and others interested in the reaction to the show, will see it.

            Hope that helps!

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          • Anna

            I should say that it’s as simple as including that hashtag in with your comment. Eg.

            “Can we please stop talking about the leadership spill? #qanda”

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            • Lu

              Oh Anna, thankyou so much, that makes sense to me!! Much appreciated. x

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  17. jo

    I think I might be the last person to join Facebook (if I ever do)…

    But had to mention that all these people calling it ‘The Facebook’ might not be so far wrong – it was actually referred to as The Facebook in early stages (at least according to the movie The Social Network, although I guess they may have taken some poetic licence).

    Keep thinking I should get around to joining FB but I find it hard enough to make time to tweet or update my Linked In profile, so still procrastinating. I am very much a ‘Words with Friends’ addict though and rarely go a day without a few moves. I kid myself it’s time well spent keeping my brain active and young!!!

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  18. Nina

    This is complete nit picking and I apologize, but Facebook has only been available to sign up for in this format since late 2006.Prior to that you would have needed to be at an American college to sign up. Again as I said, nit picking, but I think that the signing up in late 2005 maybe incorrect.

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    • Kirsty Rice

      Not nit picking at all Nina. Yes, I was in fact at Harvard with Mr Mark Z himself. Ah, those were the days, all that late night “programming” – we were wild back then.

      Of course, it’s possible that none of the above is correct and I may have actually made a typo :-) Apologies, 2005 is meant to be 2007 (May 18th to be exact). Thanks for pointing it out, I posted this quite some time ago and hadn’t realized what I’d done. Thanks again.

      Kirsty x

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      • Nina

        Haha! Great reply and great article : )

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    • MissV

      You could actually sign up in early 2006 if you were part of an Australian university. I just checked and I’ve been a member since April 8th 2006. such a long time ago!

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  19. Loulee

    Kirsty I hope you’re Dad isn’t just 50 or I will be feeling pretty ancient at 48 being lumped in with the old timers and the luddites!

    My Dad is 92 and got interested in computers in the 1980s – when he was in his sixties. He’s been doing online auctions way before ebay. He now Skypes with his friends, send me far too many joke emails and then informed me recently he has opened a facebook account. I am yet to receive a friend request as I doubt he has figured it out yet. But no doubt he will.

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    • Kirsty Rice

      Ha! No, my gorgeous Dad is now 69 and still has a full head of dark hair (he likes me to tell people this when I mention is age). What I find really interesting about his situation is he held a very senior position in a large organization but retired just before the onset of MD’s, CEO’s all having a laptop/blackberry etc.. His relationship with the iPad is a little fragile as he still misses his daily delivery of the newspaper. I love the story of your Dad, I want to be like that when I’m 92.

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  20. Hayley

    My Dad calls it ‘Facewall’!

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    • Anon

      Mine calls it The Facehead

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    • vegas

      And my Mum calls it FaceBox.

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      • May!

        Facebox, facehead, facewall – these are all giving me serious giggles!

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    • Martha

      Mine calls it Myface (a hybrid leftover from Myspace)?

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    • roserusso

      I call it Facecake or Facecrack…. :)

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  21. Caring is sharing

    After complaining my dad hogged the home PC for eBay I convinced mum to buy her own laptop and introduced her to Facebook! As an English immigrant she has now contact with old friends and family and loves it! Took me a while to explain the ins and outs and her tone can be a bit off and her spelling after a few vinos but it keeps her in the loop! Yesterday she bought her first smart phone!!!!OMG Here we go again!!!!

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    • Kirsty Rice

      That’s the bit I love about Facebook, the reconnecting and the ability for people who are miles apart to feel a little closer. I have friends who I will never live in the same country as again and possibly never see again, but we can still chat over FB and share news items and children’s milestones. You’re never going to get your mother off that smart phone are you?!

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  22. Miss J

    It’s Teh Farcebook at ours. I am refusing to show my mother how it all works despite her most impassioned entreaties… I couldn’t deal with the constant “who’s this person?” “Why did you say that to that person?” “What does it mean?” It took six months for her to work out skype!

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  23. Mel

    Awesome post.

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  24. love it

    my mum calls it ‘my face’
    hilarious – ‘yes, I saw that on my face’ or ‘she put that in my face’ or ‘i can’t out photos on my face’

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    • anon

      Haha yes my older brother calls it “my face” ,which is a bit disturbing when he says so and so is on “my face”.
      My husband last week set up a facebook page finally. But then he is also the only one out of our kids and myself that doesn’t have a tattoo. That’s not to say he is straight, he had experimented with a lot more drugs in his youth that our kids won’t try. (thank god)

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      • Kirsty Rice

        “so and so is on my face” – I’m going to be giggling over that one all day. THANKYOU!

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    • Mum of 2

      Hey, whatever happened to ‘myspace’? Your post made me think of it (I guess I was wondering if your Mum got the two mixed up – facebook and myspace). I haven’t heard of it in ages!Anyone know?

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  25. The Sage Stylista

    Great post. I find social media posts fascinating because it seems to be this contemporary portal, literally documenting everything we think about ourselves, and on a journalistic/psychological level, it is quite intriguing.

    Hahahaha! Someone else’s parent calls it ‘The Facebook’ >_< I've told my mother numerous times (ironically, she got fb before me- I deliberately reisisted for as long as possible) that the 'the' is not required! Lol!

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  26. Sammie

    My mum calls it ‘the Facebook’ too. :-)  
    She also answers questions I have posted on Facebook whilst on the phone to me. She fails to inform me that she is answering that question, so it usually happens like this:
    S “I’m going swimming this weekend!”
    Mum “try lemon drizzle cake”
    S “wtf are you on about?”
    M “for your baking”
    S “what baking? I’m talking about swimming…”
    M *exacerbated tone* “you put on the Facebook that you wanted to bake something this weekend, try lemon drizzle cake”
    S “oh. Right. Yeah, I asked that four days ago, mum.” 

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