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pussycat dolls 500w 380x253 UPDATE: How did this become public wallpaper?

The Pussycat Dolls

UPDATE: An Australian study has found sexy pop music videos are having an effect on how young children dress and behave. Believe it or not, researchers from Adelaide studied what children up to Year 7 wore at their school disco and observed whether they were dancing ‘exotically’. The answer was: apparently pop music has a lot to answer for.

Well, I had the same thought:

The Hogsbreath Cafe is not my natural habitat. Generally, I’m not big on theme restaurants after overdoing it at The Hard Rock Cafe back in the 90s. And somehow, I’d always assumed the Hog in Hogsbreath referred to bikers, possibly confusing it with that other HOG – the Harley (Davidson) Owners Group.

It turns out the ‘hog’ is in fact pig-related. Had I been paying attention, I might have learned this from the restaurant chain’s logo which features an actual hog and no motorcycles at all.

So anyway, I recently found myself in a small coastal town with a gaggle of children who begged me to take them to the Hogsbreath for dinner.  As the only adult in our party of six, I was apprehensive but game. Mostly though, I was hungry. From the moment we walked in, I was also pleasantly surprised. It was clean, great menu, well-priced.  A family restaurant for people of all ages, is how they describe themselves on their website. Yep.

My cheeseburger was delicious. My glass of wine was hitting the spot. There were coloured pencils for the little kids. Curly fries. Life was good. Until.

“Is that what women do at the hairdresser?” asked one of the teenagers wryly, pointing to one of the many TV screens playing music videos.

I spun around to be greeted with the sight of spread legs. Six pairs of them, all belonging to Pussycat Dolls – the LA-based group of strippers turned popstars – who were inexplicably singing a song about ‘not needing a man’ while doing a seated dance routine at the hairdressers. Except their dance moves mostly involved pretending they had an invisible cricket bat clamped lengthways between their open knees.

In my own chair, I was not dancing. I was seething. Meanwhile all the kids at my table stared at the screens.

Suddenly, the clip changed to a close-up of one Pussycat Doll feeling her boobs with wild enthusiasm. “She’s checking for lumps,” I told the kids gravely. “Every woman must do that each month. It’s very important.”

Next, the women began running their hands over other body parts as if to make sure their internal organs were in place. “Good to be thorough when you check” I added.

And then the clip got worse. After checking their boobs, crotch and internal organs were all there, the Pussycat Dolls began pulling off their clothes. “All that lace must be very itchy” I explained to the kids. At this point, I noticed the song’s lyrics which were accidentally hilarious: “I don’t need a man to make me happy, I get off being free. I don’t need a ring around my finger, to make me feel complete” sang the Pussycat Dolls, dancing around in their knickers while fist pumping to the empowering idea that they don’t need a man.

No, but they really needed a cardigan, some pants and an M15+ rating. Woo.

A few days later I visited a new gym and there too, the TVs were showing music videos, the same tired and tacky mix of OTT sleaze that blurs one song into the next. It was 6am. I don’t want to look at strippers before I’ve had a cup of tea, thanks. Or possibly at all.

I had a similar experience a few years ago when I took my son bowling. At the end of each lane were giant music video screens. We were literally bowling into half-naked gyrating women covered in oil. He was about 10. We never went back.

How has this kind of imagery become wallpaper? How have we allowed a small group of men in the music industry to confuse pop music with stripping and portray women in such a demeaning, one dimensional way? And how did it quietly become a backdrop to our daily lives?

Wait. This is the part in the story where readers who know I used to edit Cosmopolitan (with sealed sections!) will snort derisively into their latte: “Hypocrite! What sort of smut did you used to peddle, lady! Not so happy now you’re on the other side, huh? HUH?”

Actually, there’s a huge difference. You could only see the contents of those sealed sections if you bought the magazine and ripped them open. Your choice. I did not take my sealed sections and wave them in your face while you were on the treadmill or trying to enjoy a cheeseburger with your family. I did not barge into your lounge room and show them to your kids on a Saturday morning.

Is this how every generation elbows the previous one out of the way? By making their pop culture so unpalatable that they force them to retreat? Did my grandmother feel the same dismay about Elvis and his pelvis?

Well bugger that, because I’m not ready to shuffle off to Classic Hits. I love pop music. I just hate the imagery that accompanies it.

The vast majority of music videos featuring women are as soulless and nasty as bad porn. Girls in their undies faking how insanely pleasurable it is to hump the floor or feel your own boobs at the hairdresser? Please.

You want to watch that stuff? Go for your life. Freedom of choice. But when it becomes wallpaper in restaurants, gyms and other public spaces, where is my choice? For myself and for my kids? I want it back.

Here’s the Pussycat Dolls music video in question:

And Rihanna’s video for a song called S&M:

Have you noticed images like these creeping into public places? Does it mean anything to you?

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253 Comments so far

  1. anonymous

    I’m not a parent yet but I’m a big sister. On our foxtel I have parental locks on every music channel because of everything Mia mentioned.

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  2. Pingback: Elly Klein

  3. Mum of 2

    I love music and I used to love video clips. Now I NEVER watch any music because of the content. My kids are never allowed to watch video clips. Never and they are 5 and 9. But the little snippets I can’t control had my 5 year old daughter cutting a tank top in half so it is a crop top and slinging her trackies down low and ‘saucily’ walking into the room and stating “I can dance now” and the hip wiggling began.

    I make it my personal mission to protect my children from sexual images. Yet there I am looking at her thinking ‘WTF!!!!’ so said “hey why do you have your tummy out, you will get cold” she said “should I put something sparkly on it?”.

    My WFT radar is going bezerk at this point so I say ” well can you dance in your PJs?”

    “sure mum”

    And that was it. But it’s not it, it’s actually just the start. No matter what I do as a parent I will be fighting against this.

    Also I DON’T WANT TO WATCH HALF NAKED WOMEN GYRATING AGAINST EACH OTHER ON THE TVS AT THE GYM! I can’t stand it, so I run outside.

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  4. Kelly

    I’d love my kids to watch music videos & cultivate their love in music. But having looked at music vids with my ‘mum eye’ over the past 7 years there is no way I’m going to show them any modern music…I do not want my 3 young sons growing up with such a screwed up understanding of how women or men behave …

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  5. Dan

    There’s so much irony in that video clip that the universe almost imploded!

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  6. Jennywren

    Totally with you all the way. My 5yo was at a school disco recently and I was distressed to see one of his female school chums gyrating her hips and looking ‘sexy’ on the dance floor – I thought ‘yep, she’s seen a music vid or two in her time.’ I know I’m going to sound like an old fart, but these videos just shouldn’t be – how on earth can looking and acting like a happy hooker be empowering for women? All that rampant sexualisation that’s meant to be a woman ‘just being free to be herself’ – puhleez. That’s a blokes’ world.

    (WTG on the kids’ explanation at Hog’s Breath too – “checking for lumps”.. har har!)

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  7. Amanda

    Agree, agree, agree… ESPECIALLY in public spaces where there is no escape… I also question the lyrics which are on the radio at any time of the day on mainstream radio stations… have had to explain away a few curly ones to the 10 year old.. erectile disfunction ads or condom ads are another tricky thing to navigate. I am not about cotton woooling our kids but sometimes there is just no escaping it.

    I am also going out on a limb here as this one has been bugging me for a while, but… Rhianna is the cool chick, and I don’t condone the Chris Brown incident and nor was she asking for it, but… her lyrics (whips and chains excite me) and gyrations are just so not the way to counter the postion she was in and be any kind of role model. I know she said it is all a ‘metaphor’, but kids take this stuff literally – adults too because I was clueless that it WAS a metaphor???… so not with it apparently. ;-)

    And now rereading this totally see how I am turning in to my mother… shoot me now!!!

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  8. kate in wellington

    I am with you Mia. It’s all very well to be ironic, post feminist and able to enjoy different kinds of raunchy sexuality, but not when you are 9 and just creating your mental maps of the world.

    I remember reading somewhere that Spike Lee said that he never lets his kids watch MTV as he didn’t like the portrayal of many black artists. Now I don’t think that Spike is a namby pamby humourless PC softee … in fact he directed many of Michael Jackson’s videos.

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  9. Anna

    Was talking about this with my girlfriends the other day – what the heck would all the rappers etc etc do in their video clips if all the women in them suddenly refused to strip off and dance ??!!!
    i mean seriously, how would they make themselves look like really really cool big tough rappers without being surrounded by naked women gyrating while they lounge back like the king of the world. id absolutely love to see them be put to the challenge, but i cant see it ever happening. i used to love having the music channel playing in the backround while i did housework but now with my toddler son soaking everything in i wont put it on, i dont want him seeing all of this stuff!!!

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  10. Jess Mackenzie

    Well said Mia! Music videos need to be rated & not be played in public places. We can monitor what our childen watch at home, but gee whizz it’s getting pretty hard to take them anywhere without exposing them to the over sexualised world we live in. I can’t even take my son to our local newsagent with me as the women’s magazine’s are next to the “men’s” magazines (and no we’re not talking fishing and cars). Perhaps we need to speak up more. Let the people at Hog’s Breathe & other places know we aren’t happy with their choice of “family entertainment”. Thanks for the article!

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  11. missjodes

    My son who is 5 burnt himself last Friday night so I spent quite some time sitting at our local hospital. In the waiting area of the emergency department there are three televisions, one had football on, another I’m not so sure and the third had country music, we were sitting close to the third and occasionally I would glance up at the television, the film clips told a story and guess what… everyone had clothes on!!!
    On the Sunday we had to go back to get his dressings changed and again the only available seats were near tv number three… I had both my youngest sons with me, both aged 5, but there was no country music on, there was music being played, if you could get past the ‘soft porn’ being displayed on the screen. So instead of watching we turned our chairs and read magazines together. I am NO prude and I am not a do gooder, I am a mum and I have three sons. I am trying to raise my boys to respect women and not objectify them. Their father is a great role model so I’d say I am lucky, but it doesn’t make it easy when boys see women dressed like that, plastic and well…fake. Sadly people take that to believe that’s what women should look like, dress like, act like…. well not this black duck!!!
    I am not in any way shape or form anti the music that is played over the top of the smutty film clips, hell no, I’m only in my early thirties. Sadly though seeing the clips turns you off the music.

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  12. Susan

    Watching The Project last night with my two children, I felt very uncomfortable when “examples” of the inappropriate videos were shown to prove that they weren’t suitable for children.

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  13. Kaz

    I feel like I’ve read this before today.

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  14. tanlee

    I loathe these music videos. Their influence is insidious. At my daughters’ ex-dance school the dancing and costumes were slutty and I blame these videos. Teenage girls should not be flashing their knickers and humping the stage. It’s so inappropriate.

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  15. Guest

    I completely agree Mia

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  16. A

    I have 2 boys (thank god, I have no idea how I would bring up girls in society today) but i’ve seen things like this that concern me over the years (involving other friends girls). We were at a friend’s house for a birthday party disco around 3 years ago for a 8-9 year old girl who is my son’s best friends sister. We were all invited and some parents stayed & helped out etc. I couldn’t get over some of the songs (and the ways) some of the 8-9 year old girls were dancing though?! To Katy Perry’s ‘I kissed a girl’ etc etc. I was like ‘wow’?! Having no girls in my house apart from me, this came as a shock! Also at a school disco with the year 5-6 girls and the way they were dressed was really over the top I thought and something I would have NEVER worn to my disco’s when I was in school (I’m not even very old, I’m in my early thirties) I feel for all the parents who have to keep girls so informed & be constantly aware of these sorts of things from such a young age. Unfortunately you can’t turn you’re head these days without seeing it in you’re face most places! Not much we can do but do our best to parent & educate them about such things..

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  17. princesstan

    Oh I am so over this topic! And yes I have kids, 13 and 10 who watch music video clips. My daughter has seen Katy Perry live and my son Rihanna and I won’t apologise to anyone about it. I have raised them to be good people and taught them good values.
    Anyone remember Funky Cold Medina? Go see the video clip and how they are dancing and what they were wearing – that was 1989.
    And people, the song I Want To Hold Your Hand was going to be banned because it was deemed inappropriate and scandalous… Sex in music is not new!

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  18. Anon

    I’m in complete agreement. I have two daughters in their late 20s and one who is 9. I seriously don’t remember having to protect my older girls from this but I’m constantly running interference with my little one. I can’t put the radio on FM or she’s in the back of the car singing – it’s a dirty free for all, something about a hole in the wall! I know she doesn’t know what it means but seriously. I’ve been careful that she doesn’t know about Rage or whatever is on at the moment.

    The other night, while I was watching MasterChef with her, the ads for Lara Bingle’s show came on with her barely pixilated boobs and her parroting on about being photographed without her knowing (!)

    On another article, I said how furious I was and had comments asking what was wrong it – they’re just boobs, half the population have them, your daughter has them (ahhh, not yet), should women be banned from sunbathing topless on the beach so they don’t offend my prudish sensibilities?

    Can people not see the difference between teaching your children to respect their bodies as opposed to exposing them to smut? Constantly!

    Call me ‘normal’ but I want my daughter to enjoy her childhood and retain as much innocence as possible for along as possible.

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  19. Child-less

    I think sometimes parents forget that there are other people that live on this earth that dont have children. My partner and I dont have children and dont plan on. Thats is our choice and it has nothing to do with fertility issues or anything like that.

    I enjoy the music and the videos – they are entertaining. All this trying to make the world G rated irritates me! It selfish. If those kids are turing up at school discos dont dressed appropriately – surely that has something to do with the parents buying them the clothes, or not seeing what they are wearing before they leave the house.

    I dont mean this post to sound rude, but i dont think we need to adapt every aspect of our life to suit children. Just a thought.

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    • eternally

      Fair enough, but a family restaurant with a kids menu is probably the place that should be adapted don’t you think?

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  20. TwoDogs

    I know which image iId rather have my children see in a public place, be it virutal (facebook) or a restaurant.

    Ironic that this image appeared under your story. What would you say to mamamia teen demographic about this?

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    • eternally

      Don’t get it, are you saying breastfeeding is an inappropriate visual image for children? Should I make sure my daughter always feeds with her eyes closed?

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    • Kate Hunter

      My kids are 11, 9 and nearly 6. I have no problem with them seeing the pic of the breastfeeding / expressing mum. In fact, my littlest admired her dexterity.

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  21. Lindy

    Re: ‘Scantily clad females in shopping centres” No I dont have a problem with them as they are not dancing & gyrating in your face. Most young children see their parents/siblings in underwear so dont think they are any different.

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    • Kit Walker

      But if they see females with more clothes on but they are on TV then it becomes soul destroying for a kid. Is that how it works?

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  22. Pat Riarchy

    Something’s going on here. Either I’m crazy or you are.

    Now, it seems to me that Ms. Freedman posits that females like the Pussy Cat Dolls are forced by men to make videos which amount to soft porn and this is extremely damaging to children and hence society.

    One might think that Ms Freedman is interested in how much damage has been done to her little girls’ body image and the little boys’ attitude to sex. One might think that she would investigate. If she had she would have found out that the notion of monkey see, monkey do is ludicrous. She would have found THE most influential person in ANYONE’S life is the same sex parent. Videos don’t rate. So the BEST thing to do for the interests of the child is to LIE. Rather than tell the truth and prepare them for life – like females have been flashing from the beginning of time. It’s just something females feel the need to do. Like the females in the “faggot” story flashing their boobs. She’s not proud of their actions because she does not believe that a) any female would WANT to be sexually attractive and available to men. And 2) she doesn’t like it when other females find the same action liberating when she finds it the opposite. However, rather than finding out what damage has been done to the little children and hence society, she leaps to the conclusion that evil men are responsible for the degradation of our society because they force females to gyrate about whilst scantily clad. The females are not responsible and hence not accountable. It’s not FEMALES who are responsible for the perceived degradation of our society, it’s men.

    Have I got it right so far?

    Now, I recorded 2 hours of rage the other night. I F/Fwd through it. Most were pretty crappy. Not one had scantily clad females. But it’s so prevalent it’s like wallpaper. Obviously it would be different had Ms Freedman said it’s like wallpaper between 6.45pm and 6.48pm. Doesn’t maintain the rage much does it.

    Now, noting the above, little children are not damaged by real life adult females who are scantily clad and walk right past them in shopping malls. A real life female wearing a skin tight pair of black shorts about 10cm wide at the hip and a bra type top is entering a supermarket. There are kids everywhere. But they are only damaged when it’s on TV because TV is the most influential thing in a child’s life. Or, at least, a single mother’s child’s life because I know that would NEVER be the case in my son’s life. When they see a real life female adult wearing a pair of jeans shorts that she has cut off so that her bottom is exposed – no effect at all. Like a female doing the shopping wearing a pair of skin tight yellow shorts cut up high so half her ass is exposed and wandering around while she put stuff in the pram. So it’s definitely NOT females who are responsible for the degradation of our society. It’s men. Because if men pay for females to make a video clip that turns out to be a success because females buy the song, it then also gets shown on TV and then it becomes blatantly obvious that men are to blame for the degradation of society. If the song bombs it don’t get on TV. And the men can be forced to rethink their strategy of demeaning and degrading and liberating females which is thence responsible for the degradation of our society. It’s blatantly obvious that men are responsible for this. They own the record label. Men play them in their restaurants. There aren’t any restaurants around that don’t show them (because there aren’t any restaurants owned by females). It’s everywhere like wallpaper. It’s so damaging that Ms. Freedman didn’t bother to gather up the kids and hurry them out the door after chucking a $50 on the counter or order them to put heads down and look at their laps to avoid the sight of the devil.

    Now, as I understand it, because I don’t agree with the above premise, I must hate females. Is that the logic? Am I crazy or are you?

    Do you also wonder why there are so few females at the top?
    Do you wonder why men don’t want you?

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    • AJ

      “Am I crazy or are you?”

      See I was kinda on the side of saying them until I saw you relate concerns about stripping to why few ‘females’ (women) are at the top in the business world (huh whaa??).

      For the record, my views on the above are this: There’s a difference between wearing skimpy clothing (go for your life) and having the majority of popular culture rotate around the idea that the purpose of a woman is to please a man (hence -usually- why the video clips rotate around her being sexy for a man or for men). I personally don’t think that society is going to collapse by girls (even 7 year old girls) wearing short skirts, BUT I’m also not comfortable with carrying forth the old-fashioned discourse that a woman is nothing without a man and so should do everything she can to keep him and that his satisfaction and admiration should be her #1 concern in life.

      That archaic attitude was also displayed very aptly by you when you decided that the absolute best point you could make, the *snap* moment you were looking for to end your epically tempting TLDR piece was: “Do you wonder why men don’t want you?”.

      So let me ask you: “If she believes her views are about the welfare of our entire society, would she give a shit whether men liked her for her opinions?”

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      • O

        Ahhh. A true feminist. Men should not get any pleasure from a female’s activity. It’s quite OK to wear skimpy clothing as long as men gain no pleasure from it. It’s quite OK for females to flash everything but if they do the same on TV then it’s disgusting since men are likely to see it and maybe even enjoy it. We can’t have that can we. So why do females flash their genitals (tits are equal to genitals eg Lisa Wilkinson on why she did not have bare chested females in Cosmopolitan when she had bare breasted men and her comment was she wasn’t asking the men to show their willies.)? Is it for men to enjoy or are females trying to communicate somethinf else? Why did Aussie females sexually assault the poor boys of One Direction by lifting up their tops and exposing their tits? Another filthy female on Dirt TV on Ten asked the oys in an interview what they were like as lovers. How disgusting. Sexually objectifying these poor men. They are probably psychology destroyed for life now. Men would never do such a thing to a female. Imagine if a man behaved the same way as these females. Bu timagine is all you can do since men are not that low.

        The reference to “Do you wonder why men don’t want you” is in relation to the fact that females come out with all this pathetic, idiotic nonsense by irrationally blaming men for their own activity then can’t figure out why men don’t want them. But naturally, you being a female, you couldn’t figure this out for yourself

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  23. janes

    Personally I love the videos. I don’t, for a moment, think the lyrics are deep and meaningful but I can watch those videos and be entertained. But that’s me, my choice, when I want to. And that is the point, WHEN I want to. Not when I’m shopping, getting my hair done, having dinner with friends or family, buying an ice-cream, or even while grabbing a snack at a food hall.

    You are so right Mia, why have these music videos become the backgrounds (wallpaper) of our everyday lives? I suppose maybe they are better than constand advertisments but there should be a time and place for choice, not in your face.

    Jealous? Maybe. Envious? Perhaps. Keen to have it pushed in my face everywhere I go? Not likely.

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  24. jess88

    So I read this post when it was first published (without watching the clips – I was at work!) and thought that maybe, just maybe, Mia may have been over reacting a tiny bit. Until yesterday at the gym I saw the Rihanna clip in question being played in the womens section, I’m no prude, but I have to say that I was appalled at the gyrating and mock masterbation happening on the screen infront of me as I sweated it out on the treadmill. I couldnt even tell you what the song sounds like as I was so shocked by the clip. And I can now say that I completley and totally agree with Mia when she says this sort of stuff seems to be socially acceptable as the wallpaper to our lives. Terrible.

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    • Pat Riarchy

      Is it just as shocking seeing real life adult females scantily clad in shopping centres. If this is socially acceptable then why aren’t females on TV regarded as the same? If scantily clad females walking around shopping centres is just as damaging to society why don’t you complain to them?

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      • Jess88

        I’m not sure what shopping centers you’re frequenting but the ones I visit certainly dont have women gyrating and displaying mock masturbation techniques up and down the isles.

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      • Kate Hunter

        Kids and I just got home from Westfield. Saw no one dressed even remotely like the Pussycat Dolls. And there was no gyrating to be seen.

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        • Jennywren

          Oh Pat, methinks you are just stirring the (honey) pot!

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  25. Anonymous

    Great article!!! I love that you’re doing these kind of serious, important articles now!

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  26. Jo Denham Ferguson

    I loved your thoughts on music videos today & I share your view, so much so that I was compelled to write a song & produce a music video that showcased that opinion. I wanted to do it in a way that was serious & heart felt rather than satirical like P!nk’s “Stupid Girls” , so I hope you get something out of watching it…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKb9M4LVdWY
    It’s about how some young girls today are making bad choices but that they can make better choices & their parents will understand & still love them.

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  27. Lindy

    Re: More Fries Less Thigh. I totally agree with you on this, half of these music videos are really “soft porn” & NOT suitable for viewing in a family restaurant. Children watch these videos on TV / Foxtel at home with no supervision so it becomes ‘normalised ‘ & parents really dont seem to think anything of it. But hear parents scream when the younger girls (14 & 15 year olds)dress up like ‘tarts’ because this is what they see & so think thats how they should look when going out to parties, but parents expect them to know that whats on TV is different from normal life. How are the children supposed to know the difference if parents dont supervise what they watch & explain the differences between TV & normal life. What happens is eventually it gets so ‘normalised’ that in another 20 years even the parents won’t see the problem.

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    • Anonymous

      So are scantily clad females in shopping centres also soft porn? Do you complain to these scantily clad females who you are forced to look at wherever aand whenever you go anywhere? Or is it only when scantily clad females are on TV that it becomes worthy of complaint

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  28. Stuart Watters

    Hi Mia

    I enjoyed reading your article over the weekend regarding your experience at a Hog’s Breath restaurant.

    I run the Licensing & Business Affairs at Nightlife Music – one of a handful of companies in Australia who provide music audio and video content to customers such as Hog’s Breath – we have over 2000 clients that range from pubs, restaurants, gyms, nightclubs, cruise ships and so on.

    Your comments were entirely valid and we were pleased to see that you had taken such a strong view on the placement of such a music video in a public and family setting. At Nightlife, we have implemented systems that restrict content so as to avoid exactly what you experienced with your children and their friends. It’s worth noting that while we do this, one of the key drivers on its implementation was also largely lead by our own clients who had the foresight to realise that their customers’ experience was critical to their ongoing patronage and music is a key factor in this experience. Make a mistake with that and, as you pointed out from your own experience, they don’t come back.

    As it happens we do provide music to a number of Hog’s Breath restaurants but no means all of them and there is a competitor product out there that lacks the sophistication of the Nightlife system that wouldn’t have the capacity to restrict a song like this. Upon reading your article the first thing we did was to check that particular song in our database and confirm that we had indeed placed that into our restricted lists such that it would never be played in a venue like a Hog’s Breath or a bowling alley (we also provide content to a large number of bowling alleys throughout the country).

    I have kids of my own, two boys, and my wife and I are particularly sensitive to the potential impact of music videos on our boys. Working in my line of work, they have an even greater risk of over exposure and de-sensitisation to the content so we are vigilant in putting measures in place in our own house but in public, you are at the hands of others so I hear your concerns.

    All the best

    Stuart

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  29. Anonymous

    This is a great piece. I have always had music playing in our home but as soon as my four year old daughter was aware of the video clips I realized how sexualized and inappropriate they are.
    The other day a Fergie and slash song came on!!!!! Omg!!!!!! So inappropriate!!!!!
    Now I just play jjj constantly. That way my daughter is getting uses to quality music without the sexualized content.

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  30. Sophie

    Agree completely with everything you said.

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  31. Helen

    Ironic, on the same page there’s the mummy with bare boobies with a baby attached and this exposure is “OK” and worth fightening for her to expose! But a Pussycat, apparently not. I loved the Pussycat clip – I bet when she is 80 she’ll look back at that and “remember” when she was “hot”. Madonna/Whore stuff sets us back centuries, it’s so amusing to hear/read prudishness. Not my cup of tea!

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    • Jennywren

      It’s not ironic. There’s a difference – nudity vs sex. Young kids know all about nudity, but they don’t yet know about sex. Ergo children need to be protected against being exposed to overly sexualised/soft porn film clips.

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  32. Sarah

    my friend and I were obsessed with the spice girls as kids, but watching the movie, concerts and clips it never seemed as bad as this. Listening to the lyrics years later, my friend and I were horrified (I think someone below mentioned the song when ‘two becomes one’ or something along those lines), most of the songs were SO overtly sexual and we had no idea because they werent on screen showing us, it was always just a lot of fun (i think the clue is totally in the visuals)

    and lets be honest, everyones talking about kids, but I’m 21 and I dont want to see those sort of clips. It honestly makes me want to give them a pair of pants and a good book to read.

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  33. Girl, 16

    Thank God there are a few examples of female musicians who don’t feel the need to strip down to feel ‘empowered’, and don’t feel like sexy underwear is a replacement for talent.
    Florence + the Machine, Lana Del Rey, Robyn, Kate Nash, Washington, Seeker Lover Keeper, Feist, Warpaint, Summer Camp, Sleigh Bells, Paramore – all are singers or bands featuring genuinely talented women.

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  34. EJ

    I’m with you on this one Mia! By far the most disturbing clip i have seen is the one where Katy Perry sings naked on a cloud and squirts whipped cream from her cupcake boobies.
    To be honest, I’m just really not a fan of TV while doing other things. Why can’t we just enjoy being in restaurant or bowling, is this not entertaining enough?

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    • picardie.girl

      YES YES YES!

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      • jess

        seriously? I live in St Quentin. Where are you? Are you Australian?

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        • picardie.girl

          Yes, I’m Australian. Are you?

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  35. caitlin

    Thanks for this insightful article. This is the very reason I support Collecive Shout, a grassroots organisation that fights against the sexualisation of children and the objectification of women. The mainstreaming of pornography and pornographic themes means it becomes harder to avoid imagery I don’t want my small kids seeing, and let’s face it, I’m not particularly keen myself. I recommend checking out collectiveshout.org or looking them up on Facebook.

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  36. Kate

    Ironic. They sing that they don’t need a man to make them feel good, but tell me, what market demographic are they dancing for in this video? It’s not a message of women empowerment, like the lyrics pretend to be, but objectifies women’s bodies (yet again).

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  37. Gee

    But it’s all an issue of degree and preference. i think many parents would be uncomfortable with their children seeing “10 ways to guarantee you orgasm” or “does size really matter? (it depends)” or words to that effect plastered on cosmo etc at the supermarket check out.

    it’s a big bad world out there and criticism like this is important, but the integrity of your argument is damaged to some extent because of your past decisions in the magazine industry.

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  38. Pingback: Beginnings and Endings – Project 365 +1 « Write of Way

  39. Lou

    Can we stop acting like this is new?

    I grew up in the 90′s, singing to The Spice Girls (2 Become 1); O Town (Liquid Dreams) and Vengaboys (Boom Boom Boom Boom). There was plenty of strutting in lingerie, thrusting and simulation of sex. Looking back, I’m shocked that I got away with watching and listening to a lot of
    that, but at the time, I didn’t really understand a lot of it.
    Strangely enough, my most risque song I’d listen to (the one I’d only play when my parents weren’t home) was Sex Over the Phone by Village People.

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    • princesstan

      Exactly my thoughts Lou. I remember my mum listening to a Kenny Rogers song called Something’s Burning…and I sang along to it! I would have been 8 or 9.
      Pretty sure he wasn’t talking about something in the kitchen…

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  40. Libby

    I think there is a responsibility for parents not just to shield children from specific and explicit sexual imagery. If kids do come across it somehow, I think parents should open a conversation with their kids to help them contextualise it, understand it and somehow emerged with considered and well-rounded opinions and healthy, respectful views of both men and women.

    I think this is particularly important when kids get to the age where they might start seeking out sexual imagery for themselves. Rather than just trying to stop them, trying to have a discussion about the way media, porn and society portrays sexuality and the unreality of that portrayal could go a long way. Even just teaching kids to be critical thinkers and to reject the validity of something put before them if it doesn’t feel or look right or real, I think that’s going to get them somewhere. I know that my parents teaching me to challenge everything I see, hear and read has stopped me from becoming hung up on looking like a Pussycat Doll.

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    • Jamie

      This just seems like a really defeatist attitude to me – as if we’re somehow just supposed to accept that the world is hypersexualised and try to help children to navigate it with minimal damage.

      No offence, but no thanks. We don’t accept it when adults attempt to groom children for sexual purposes. Why accept it when the media essentially does the same?

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      • Libby

        So what’s the alternative then? The media is not going to change just because a group of people disagrees with it. It has been proven across generations, time and time again, that outrage does not necessarily bring change. But perhaps discussing with young people what is good and bad about what they’re exposed to might cause enough of them to twig that something is wrong and then we might see something shift.

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      • Tallulah

        Y’all can do both at the same time. Change, but also dealing with it effectively.

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  41. Anna

    Yes! They’re everywhere! There have been two instances in the last year when dining out with my 5-year-old nephew (whom I do not see very often) where we had to get him to change seats so he didn’t have a view of the TV because of these things. It’s terrible that you can’t go out anywhere for a nice innocent meal and take kids along without these videos and images being thrust in their faces.

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  42. Hila

    These kinds of porn-like images are a really clever, but rather demeaning, marketing tool. They rely on this myth of female “empowerment”, yet what they really do is turn women’s bodies into pieces of meat – into objects, rather than human beings. I often view these kinds of video clips with distaste, not because there is anything wrong with the portrayal of sexuality, but because these “I’m so sexually liberated, look at me objectify myself” images pretend to speak for the interests of women while simultaneously undermining them.

    I’m really kind of frightened by how women’s bodies are being used these days, and even more so, I’m frightened by how so many of us have bought into the myth that exploitation equals “empowerment”. Real empowerment means not being reduced to slabs of meat, or reducing the important issue of equality between the genders to a fixation with boobs and porn.

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    • Jamie

      Have you read ‘Living Dolls’ by Natasha Walter? Hits right to the heart of the whole faux empowerment of this stuff. Amazing book!

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      • Hila

        Hi there! No I haven’t read it, but I will now. Thanks for the tip. I also really recommend Imelda Whelehan’s book on the subject: “Overloaded: Popular Culture and the Future of Feminism”. It’s a really accessible, funny and smart book.

        “Faux empowerment” sums it up; it’s also faux-feminism – i.e. they use all this “we’re free and liberated” lingo, but really, they’re just serving up the same old familiar uses of women’s bodies.

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  43. Anonymous

    Hey Mia.. I completely agree. I work at a Club in a regional centre, we love Music Max for creating atmosphere but cannot turn it on now for fear we will be broadcasting porn-like videos to our lawn bowlers. So not appropriate. Great story…

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  44. Redradish

    Rihannas film clip is disgraceful, what is society becoming when we accept this smut to be shown.

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  45. RouleReport

    I like the Silver Chair.

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  46. meganadmire

    Even worse is the occasional guy gawking at the TV screen whilst The Pussycat Dolls dance around on a public screen.

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  47. lucinda

    How did THIS become public wallpaper? Because we live in the age of technology, and because sex sells. If it didn’t, even you’d be out of a job Mia.

    It’s sad, but ALL modern media is to blame for this trend toward (vaster quantities of) trash, even this site. And it is not just the portrayal of women that is trashy, it is the portrayal of both sexes. I’d like not just to see less trashy music videos, but less trashy magazines, less graphic news reporting, less graphic violence in movies, less licensed stereotypical kids clothing, less poorly and inappropriately placed advertising on kid’s websites….

    But who is going to police this? It is everywhere. The internet, social media, tvm, movies, billboards, magazines, shops, clothing brands, toys, stationery, home decor, food packaging, the radio… the only way we can protect our children is through good parenting and shielding them where we can.

    I’d like to see raunchy video clips censored and not played in restaurants too, but I’d also like to see less tv screens in public places and that’s just not going to happen. All we can do is keep our kids away from places where we know they’ll be exposed to something we don’t want them to be exposed to.

    I like that you take this stance Mia, but I think your point sometimes gets lost when we’ve all just had to endure some rubbish on this site about squoobs and camel toe.

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    • Sarah

      Ah, but you don’t have to come to this site! You make the choice to visit, knowing that you will be seeing this content. Also Mamamia isn’t marketed to young children (is it?!!)

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      • toradora

        i agree with sarah.
        i also have no interest in ‘sqoobs’ and such but i simply and here is the big thing DONT CLICK ON THE ARTICLE.
        i’m sick and tired of people preaching in the comments about how mamamia need’s to post on more ‘important’ article’s and claiming ‘third world issues’ and such. if you don’t like what your reading GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. we don’t want to hear your put downs any more then you obviously do not wish to read these article’s!

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      • lucinda

        Sarah and Toradora, the point is that modern and mult media are out there for everyone to see no matter who it is targeted to. There is nothing to say a child couldn’t stumble on this site accidently… it is all part of the merry-go-round that the technological age creates. It is not a put down, but an observation that not having raunchy music videos on tv screens everywhere is only part of a solution to a much bigger problem in society. Do I wish there was less of it? Absolutely. Trashy music videos should not be everyday wallpaper, I agree. I just wonder what we can do about it.

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    • Mia

      Hey Lucinda – neither squoobs nor camel toe are about sex. They’re both actually about fashion! Both of them are very odd ‘trends’ or by-products of other trends (leggings and tight jeans leads to camel toe!).
      Neither are about women being portrayed in a sexual way. Neither is about nudity or would be improper in a public space – and, like the Cosmo argument, a website is NOT a public space – it’s a choice to come here.

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    • picardie.girl

      I agree with your second and third paragraphs, lucinda – I would prefer that all of this (and the less tv screens) happens too. However I believe that at least some of that is possible, and that we can make a change if we agitate for it.

      There isn’t much further we can go without being in a Tom Cruise movie (and I think we all agree we’d prefer to avoid that!). People want to get back to basics, connect with each other and the earth, and stop these things from happening. It’s not some hippy dream – there is a revolution on our hands and it can happen.

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  48. Nic

    Thank you Mia! I wholeheartedly agree. It’s soft porn and should be rated as such. You know I used to love watching music videos – Kylie and the like when I was a kid. It saddens me that I won’t be letting my kids watch Rage until they’re 18! ( I want to say 30!)

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  49. 21 Nanna

    I’m 21 and I feel like a bit of a Nanna saying this, but I completely agree.

    Don’t get me wrong, these sorts of songs/filmclips are great for the clubs or strip clubs.. But at Hog’s Breath? Are you joking! They pride themselves in being a family friendly place to eat, but they have these clowns shoving their boobs and vaginas in front of the camera. Give me a break.

    I have lost interest for 99% of the songs on the radio, they are either about getting drunk, high, sex, or unrequited love. I’m so over it. I download podcasts to keep me entertained at the gym, bus rides etc. Much funnier listening to Hamish & Andy, Fifi & Jules or Kyle & Jackie O then songs about smoking pot and having meaningless sex, no wonder 6 year olds are having eat disorders and 11 year olds are starting to have sex so young.

    I love your curly fries but clean up your act Hog’s Breath..

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    • Irene Adler

      Kyle and Jackie O more tasteful than this? Seriously?!

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    • Mia

      Go the nannas!

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    • picardie.girl

      You are SO right about songs on the radio; I have noticed an increase in the amount of songs about being drunk or high and doing all sorts of stupid, irresponsible stuff while at it. Makes me feel so cross.

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  50. green trees

    you could give yourself a serious neck injury flicking your hair around like that.

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