Would you?
Bathing. Showering. Beyond the age of seven it’s generally one of those on-your-own activities. Like using wonder soap to get stains out of your delicates, plucking ingrown hairs from your bikini line or doing number twos.
Occasionally it can be a nice, shared experience. Especially when you’re in the early months of a new relationship and he/she is just SO amazing that the prospect of 5 minutes standing under running water without each others’ company is simply TOO MUCH TO BEAR.
At those times, sharing is caring. Sharing is friendly.
But what about showering with actual friends? Girl friends with whom you are most definitely not having sexy times.
2DAY Network drive show hosts Jules and Fifi tackled this one earlier this week and were astounded to discover that women showering with other (straight) women friends, isn’t all that unusual.
Jules had this to say on his radio show this week:
Jules.
“I’ve mentioned that I am a little bemused by women. A friend of mine was telling me last night, and um, I got a lot of joy out of it and I wanted to bounce it off you because as a guy, I don’t really know what to say. It seems odd to me. So on the weekend she had a friend stay with her. A female friend from interstate.
“They’ve been friends for years. Decades. Anyway, so they were chatting. And my friend, she was saying – she went and had a shower and her friend walked in and was just getting ready. You know, brushing her teeth while she was in the shower.
“So at this point they’re chatting…. And there’s a glass door to the shower only. It’s not like footy change rooms where you can’t really see each other. So that’s pretty weird. And my friend wasn’t all that comfortable. She’s sort of facing the other way, she’s not flashing her bits as her friend’s brushing her teeth. Anyway, so as they’re chatting, my friend’s friend goes “oh, I might pop in.”
“She drops her kit. I promise you… this is true. She’s naked. She jumps into the shower.
“My friend let her in because she just didn’t know what to say.
“At this point you’re starting to wonder ‘do other people do this?’ Do other people’s friends have showers? So she gets in and they’re in the shower together. Is that…?”
Here is Fifi’s reaction to Jules’ story:
Fifi.
“No, that’s not normal! Look, the shower nozzle only covers one body. You freeze if you have to share the shower with another person!
“It’s even annoying when boyfriends or partners try to get in!
“You and your friend were sharing ONE NOZZLE. I’m saying no. Ok?
“The answer to the question has to be no. I think it’s strange to share a shower with a friend. That’s just not necessary.”
After that, several women rang into their radio show to swear that THEY TOO shared showers – and baths! – with girlfriends. So tell us. Is this a thing? Is it just an environmentally friendly and indeed friendly-friendly norm of 2012 that straight female friends will shower together?
Do you shower or bathe with your friends in the nude?
Comments
121 Comments so far
When on holiday in Fiji I shared a bath with one of my friends. There was only the couples room available for the time we wanted for our pampering session. She wore her bather bottoms, I went naked. I didn’t look at her bits and she didn’t look at mine, there were bubbles so you couldn’t really see anything. We gossiped the whole time and even said that it would have been boring (being in a bath that long without a book or magazine) if we were by ourselves. It was much less awkward than I thought it would be.
One of my other friends has recently become my spray tanner. She sees a whole lot more than I would’ve thought was comfortable but, maybe I don’t have as many hang ups as I thought because it is fine.
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Definitely not normal!!!
My husband and I share a few showers together a day (morning, after work, and before bed). Sometimes they’re sexy, but mostly, they’re practical as we have our own little routine and we don’t have kids, so it’s just us in our little unit. But showering with a girlfriend? Nooooo….
A gf and I went to a naked Turkish bath overseas last year and she still wore bather bottoms.
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No. I’ve never thought about it before this article but I can’t see myself doing it and would be shocked if one of my girlfriends jumped in the shower with me…
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The only way to know for sure if this is OK or not is to post more photo links. How can we judge otherwise? ;=) @LesPJnr
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I saw about 4 girls all go in to the same cubicle at a bar. There was no line up and I didn’t see any reason for it and must admit I was shocked. Why do that? I don’t even pee in front of my live-in boyfriend.
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They weren’t weeing!
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No, that is so, so not normal. And never will be!!
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I could get changed in front of them,pee in front of them,fart etc..but now shower with them.
I had showers and baths with my little nieces,and baths with my girlfriends when we were about five.That is it.But each to their own.
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Sarah Silverman and Michelle Williams did this in that movie Take this waltz
But you need to take family filter off. I found this hard to believe but maybe some ppeople really do it.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xr4vaj_sarah-silverman-michelle-williams-naked-take-this-waltz_shortfilms
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no. i don’t, never have and never will…
except for spa baths at a mates place when we were growing up (so over the age of 7) but we were in our swimmers!!!!
sharing a shower with anyone except my husband and my new baby… nude… is wrong to me.
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No way would I share a bath or shower with a female friend. I have been married for 12 years and I would never use the loo in front of my husband., I actually don’t even like him hearing me go!
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Im totally ok with this! Me and my friends went to boarding school and when your sharing 3 showers between 20 girls the only way to get clean was to share! 5 years on and whenever we stay at each others places we always end up showering together, sharing bathrooms ect. Seems totally natural to us! And our partners don’t even bat an eyelash there do use to it!
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Uuummmm… I went to boarding school with the same amount of showers and girls and we never shared showers and still got clean!!
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I find this strange and somewhat juvenile…
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don’t worry about what anyone says Caity. You do whatever you and your girlfriends find comfortable, it’s really no one eles business anyway. Some people need to learn the old saying of, if you’ve got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
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Juvenile Lucinda? That’s interesting…Maybe try to see it from a different point of view…it’s not exactly a girly pillowfight.
This post has been intriguing for me as I’m a lesbian. I’ve been skinny dipping with (straight) girl friends, sunbaking naked, and changed in front of them, but a shower or bath would probably be going a bit too far for me. Even in a platonic scenario, I’m sure the physicality would just make things awkward for me. However, I honestly wouldn’t be bothered or uncomfortable if it was a guy friend. So I can see how many women could view this behaviour to be ‘the norm’. Being naked doesn’t need to be associated with intimacy. But I think for many people, especially in Western culture, it does. Interesting.
Having said all that, Fifi is right – there is one nozzle on a shower. In the scenario described, there would really just be no logic in trying to share the shower when the intent was to get clean. You’d just be like “ok hurry up, i want to get in after you”. I do feel like perhaps the girl who hopped in was testing the waters. Maybe not though.
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I blame the drought for this
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After having to “hide” my new relationship from my 3yo (as was not ready for him & my new partner to meet) we started showering with each other from early on and now even more than a year later if we are in the same house ready to at the same time almost always shower together, but I would never with a female friend, way too intimate an experience. But certainly works for me and my partner.
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I do, well sort of. I’m not afraid to be naked with my girlfriends. Sometimes if its easier then turning the shower off we just ‘swap’ one in one out both naked, it works. we found this super handy when travelling in Europe, sometimes the water would take forever to get hot so once it was we just didn’t turn it off in between showers and sort of shimmied past each other to shower
I don’t think it weird, its necessary, us girls would take twice as long if only 1 person was in the bathroom at a time.
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I couldn’t care less about being naked in front of girlfriends. I have two sisters and my mum has FOUR so people wandering around in various states of undress is pretty standard. But I am NOT doing the slippery shimmy with anyone I’m not planning to shag! It’s nothing to do with being prudish, I just don’t want to get that close to someone I’m not planning to get it on with. Fifi’s right – ONE NOZZLE people! LOL
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I don’t shower with girlfriends but I’m 23 and when I was living at home a year or so ago, my sister, mum and I would do the jump in, jump out thing, sometimes stay in while I finished brushing my teeth lol. When my sister comes to my place, she’ll be on the toilet and I’ll be doing my make up. I have no issues being naked around either. Sorry I’m not sorry for being a little weird in your eyes people!
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No to showering together but yes to having a spa together (in cossies). I have no probs sharing a bathroom with a girlfriend but draw the line at sharing a shower or bath!!!!
Often at the shops i will share a toilet cubicle with a friend if they are all being used, no big deal. My friend is getting married soon and i am the bridesmaid. She was trying on her wedding dress and had to get nude while trying on dresses and i nearly got one of her nipples in my eye while leaning over pulling the dress up LOL. We cracked up.
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I think everyone seems to be a bit prudish in Australia (I’m Australian, so I’m not judging as an outsider, but it’s very true!) I personally don’t like sharing showers mostly because they’re never big enough and there’s always elbows and unless you ARE in there for sexy times, there’s not a hell of a lot that you can practically get done when you can’t even bend over for the soap without getting a face full. Baths, though, are lovely with friends. I’m 21 and I have a few girlfriends in particular who I’ve known since I was little and therefore have been naked with since we were learning how to walk who I bathe with quite often. Sitting with someone who you’re so comfortable with that you can show all your bits without worrying about them either judging or only as a precursor to sex is nice. I have a Sunday night dinner arrangement with one of my oldest friends and every second or third week, when we’re both feeling tired and grumpy from the week, we’ll put on candles, get in the bath and paint each others nails and chat and giggle. I think people in this country put waaay too much meaning into being naked with other people. It’s perfectly natural, and it honestly doesn’t have to be sexualised. Do you remember when you were a kid and the best part of the day was your bubble bath playdate with your best friend/sibling? Why do we have to stop having that just because we’re older?
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What if your friend relaxes so much she wees in the bath water because she’s “so comfortable” with you?
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Uh no, way too weird and there is nothing natural about sharing a bath with other grown women.
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Erm, because when you’re little you get ‘dirty’ together and it makes sense – it makes zero sense when you’re adults.
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Nothing but negative replies to your comment? I think it sounds lovely!
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My girlfriends and I will happily pee in the same room (at someone’s house while we’re getting ready or in club bathrooms), but jumping in the shower at the same time? No way. It’s sexual – you’re naked, slippery, wet and pressed close together to get under the water. Just wait five minutes till your mate is out!
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I’ve shared a bathroom with friends, and gotton changed in front of them but having a shower is my space. Pink said it best with ‘Nope, you can’t hop into my shower, All I ask for is one #@$% hour’ Well maybe not an hour but can’t I have a couple of minutes?
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i have never showered with my girlfriends, got down to bra and undies in front of each other while getting changed while getting ready for a night out, but most we’ve ever seen of each other was on wedding days…. manouvering into corsetted wedding dresses with no bra /having to pee while 2 bridesmaids hold up the wedding gown for you!! wasnt embarrassing though, when i was the one awkwardly peeing we laughed about it, and wen i was one of the ones holding the dress up we could laugh about it aswell.
when my husband and i first moved in together about a year before our wedding we used to shower together all the time, fast forward 5 years and i cant even remember the last time we showered together, i treasure the alone time too much these days, cant even race to the toilet to poop without having my littlest one, 22 month old come barging in yelling “oh cuddle, ohhh cuddles” and trying to wrap his arms around me while im sitting on the loo!
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Not into it. Don’t shower with my husband either. The last time I did, I put my lower back out, cos he wanted, as he always does the “happy ending”. That notwithstanding, I don’t even share loos (unless I’ve been drinking or with small children) and love the fact that our loo has a door in the ensuite.
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better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick – oh wait !
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This is a bit close for comfort to be honest. I mean, I go to the sauna and everyone is naked together, just walking around having a nice time. It’s very liberating actually. But inside a shower cubicle is a bit too close for comfort with someone I’m not intimate with…
Australians really do need to be more liberated with our bodies though. We’re all too prudish by nature I think. I wrote about conquering my fears and getting nekkid in public: http://inburgeringadventure.blogspot.nl/2012/10/the-real-final-frontier.html
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Yep, I have close girlfriends that I do this with. Mostly if we’re getting ready at one person’s house for a day/night out. Everyone shares the bathroom. And we’ve had a few weekends away together, where we’re all chatting in the bathroom, naked/ semi-dressed showering, doing hair/ make up. We’ve known each other for years, no one’s precious about their bits & no one’s judging anyone’s saggy, flabby bits (most of us have had kids). Shock, horror- sometimes we even wee in front of each other!! Too busy chatting, laughing & catching up to worry about being prudish
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Not ok at all. Just another way the media is subtly sexualising women. After all the media, directors, script writers etc are mostly men. So they create this little fantasy world for themselves and sadly when women see and hear this kind of crap all the time they begin to buy into it. I have more girlfriends than I can poke a stick at and sorry guys not one of them would consider showering with another woman.
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But the whole story is based on someone asking if this is a thing because it does seem so weird. I don’t see how it’s the media making anyone do anything?
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I think this is weird. I have to educate my husband on “alone time” and when he gets in the shower when I’m trying to WASH MY HAIR I get very angry. Showers need to b had alone. I’m busy In the shower, shaving exfoliating washing hair. I don’t have time or room for my husband! I don’t get the obsession. My “alone time” is long gone(ie can’t go to toilet without being harrased) and I don’t even have children yet!
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I have a twin sister and I’d possibly share a bath or shower with her if I had no other choice. With friends? Nope. I will, though, get changed in front of them, though not if I’m naked; I need my undies on. Sharing a beach shower is okay for a quick rinse off.
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Yeah it’s odd, but I still think we Aussies are far too prudish when it comes to nakedness. I lived in Japan for a year & the public baths & onsens are amazing, that is if you can get over western ideas about nakedness and it equalling sex.
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I think girlfriends showing together is something everyone should try.
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sure, when we’re not too busy having pillow fights in our underwear
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That sounds a little saircastic?
I hope that is not the case because if women dont have pillow fights in their underwear then my entire life is a lie.
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I don’t know any female who does this, a little weird. In saying that a girlfriend and I went to Bali and booked into a day spa for a mud wrap followed by a spa soak. After my wrap I was led ( with just a towel) into another room with the spa where my friend was already soaking. I literally was shoved naked into this spa. Needless to say both her and I where extremely uncomfortable….. We just assumed we would have a spa each. We couldn’t look at each other for the remainder of the day!!!
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Um no. This makes me think the friend who was brushing her teeth and jumped in the shower was wanting to test out the waters – so to speak
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i agree i thought the same thing
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My thoughts exactly!
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Would totally shower or get ready whilst my sister or close girlfriend is doing the other, but I’d probably balk at actually showering together (mainly because it’s a pain sharing the water – I still shower with my 5yr old at times). Although we’ll share a beach shower for a quick rinse off after a swim…
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I’m fairly comfortable with my body these days, and don’t mind getting changed in front of friends, but I draw the line at sharing the bathroom, let alone the shower! The only person who sees me in the nuddy is the bloke, and even we haven’t showered together (yet).
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Hopping in to someone else’s shower without asking is breaching a few boundaries, really. I don’t mind being naked around my friends but would never make them uncomfortable. Most showers don’t fit two people well either! I’m much more likely to shower next to a friend at the pool or a surf club, and just because it’s convenient. Especially if you’re stuck in your wetsuit.
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I’m long past the “early months of a new relationship” and admittedly we don’t co-habit, but we shower together pretty regularly. And whilst one of you is in the shower is a great time to talk, because the showering partner cannot be distracted. And, yep, I love seeing her naked.
Being a sports-player I’ve had no choice but to shower with same sex team mates for years and years; I don’t *think* I’d be too fussed if a long term friend who was staying over got in at the same time – disclaimer, I do have a larger than average shower alcove.
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http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
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Nope. NOPE. Could. Not. Do. That!
Its one thing to change in front of friends, even naked getting dressed.
showering is INTIMATE.
NOOOoooooooO!!!!!
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No, not in my case I have gotten ready in front of my girlfriends you know hair or make up. But as for showering/bathing no way! They respect my boundaries which is great.
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I’ve only showered once with my bestie and that was when we were on holidays and running late for an organised tour, however, I’ve probably been naked more times with/near her over the 23 years we’ve been friends than I have my partner! We shared a place for 81/2 years in our 20s and most of our little flats had a combined shower/toilet/bathtub type of arrangement so we were always in there getting ready for work or to go out together. I remember sitting on the toilet reading her bits out of the paper or a book while she had a bath and vice versa. I think I’ve been to the toilet in nightclubs with plenty of my other female friends too.
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I have no problem being naked with friends, or even strangers, in a sauna, change room after dancing or in the gym change room. I’ve done side by side showers after sauna, jumping in a pool together naked, thats fine but sharing a nozzle in an enclosed shower is a step too far.
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I think it would be something I’d be ok with, at least one friend being in the bathroom while I was in the shower or bath, if I were more happy with my body. Definitely not with the way it is now though!
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Umm no, this is definitely not a thing!
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To answer your question; no way Jose, nada, nope, uh-uh, nil, negative and just plain ‘no’.
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I’ve done this with my lady friends on many occasions – one of my friends actually barged in to the bathroom this morning whilst I was sudding up in the (transparent) shower so she could use the mirror. Showering together is not the norm but it happens, for example de-sanding after the beach, before we go out and we’re all getting ready together, when we are just carrying on a good chat session… my friends are very open and comfortable people and nakedness is not abnormal! Obviously we don’t all pack in to a square foot shower like sardines, one of us will wash our hair while the other has the nozzle, and the likelihood of it occurring in winter is slim to none or we’d turn into icicles! It’s not bizarre to us but of course wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea
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I can’t seem to take a shower without my boyfriend joining me. I swear as soon as he hears the water running he stops whatever he is doing and runs to the bathroom. Sometimes he joins me other times just to open the shower door take a peek and then go on his way again. Not so great in winter as he normally hogs the hot water. But I have to admit it gets a bit lonely the rare times I do actually get to shower alone.
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I have that problem, only it’s with the kids. Who then crack the shits that ‘they’re not getting any water…..’ and then I end up getting out, cold.
I’d rather have a hot shower on my own without any interuptions than just about anything else. One doesn’t appreciate the true value of a hot, solo shower until there is a lack of them.
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Lock the door.
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The answer is two shower heads
Makes co-showering with little kids much easier! No one has to freeze to death and that way I get a longer shower than normal while she plays with her toys.
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nooooooooooooooope
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Sounds like Cameron Diaz’s story on Graham Norton the other day where she was talking about a girlfriend who had long pubic hair ‘down there’. she even imitated the way it would float like seaweed (I think that’s the comparison she made) when the friend’s having a bath. Anyway, Diaz and her friends had had enough and so one day, after the friend had bathed and still hadn’t got dressed, they pounced on her and trimmed it…..WTF?!?!?!?!?
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Yes!!! I watched that as well and was thinking “huh?????”
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grossssssssss!
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Open door policy for me and my friends. We are in our late 20′s and have known eachother for over 20 years. There’s no actual sharing of showers but we definitely use the bathroom at the same time like if someone is peeing, the other will be in the shower etc.
People who are uncomfortable with this sort of thing I consider acquaintances not friends. Since coming to Australia I have found myself to be in the minority about this. Privacy is definitely a very popular concept here and something I find very strange. Goes to show how our upbringings change our perceptions of things!
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Where are you from Kit?
I did think it may be a cultural thing. What’s normal there may not be the case here and vice versa!
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I’m from Greece. It was pretty hard to understand the concept of privacy growing up when you could hear every time someone flushed the toilet in the neighbouring apartment!
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ahhh Greece ** huge sigh **
One of my most favourite countries in the world, and the only place I have sunbathed and swum as nude as a baby dolphin (Santorini, Paros, Antipaxos) and not cared a fig who saw me
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I love wandering around my home naked alone. I am very comfortable being naked with the man I am seeing romantically.
I absolutely would not want to share my shower with a female friend, and would find that far too intimate. And I would not want to see them, or them to see me going to the toilet, for number 1′s or 2′s.
My ex husband had a thing for crashing into the bathroom whilst I was sitting on my throne in the midst of 2′s as much as 1′s. I felt I couldn’t have any privacy at any point, as he thought it was a sign of a ‘close couple’, I just wanted to take a dump in private! So I’d lock the door much to his annoyance when he tried to muscle on in every morning (we had two bathrooms for getting ready for work, so he was not being inconvenienced).
I remember once I was showering at his parent’s place, door closed, and in walked his sister and she proceeded to lift up her skirt and I could hear the sound of her weeing competing with my shower.
I was mortified. So the feeling of lack of privacy ran in the family!
I had a party at my place, and I was using the mirror in my bathroom and then next thing one of my girlfriends came in, moved past me and lifted her dress for a wee. Then about 3 of them were in there, taking turns, laughing between wees and make up repair. I high tailed it.
Again, it’s too intimate. I know we have the same bits, but I am really not needing to see them. And I prefer male bits anyway.
I guess maybe it’s how you’re bought up. But indoors or outdoors, with the guy I am with at the time, I am open and adventurous. In the toilet or shower – that’s my private time.
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Hi Mamamia
Sorry I don’t know where else to post this but I’m going to have to get an answer or I think I’ll have to stop coming to the site (sorry to be dramatic but it’s driving me nuts!)
Every time I come on the site, write a comment, go to the next page, the next story, refresh etc I get the newsletter box pop up and the worst part is I’ve already signed up for the newsletter (even did it twice as it kept going).
It’s still popping up and it’s really annoying and honestly making me want to stop coming here
Is there anything I can do to stop it popping up what feels like every minute or so?
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Hi Anonymous
The pop up should only ever appear once and then not again so it sounds like we’ve got a problem at one of our ends! Can you flick me your email address and I will chat to our tech guys and we’ll see what the problem is? I’m at jamila@mamamia.com.au
Jamila x
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Shall do, thanks so much!
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I have the same problem too!
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So do I! But I think it’s on my end, my browsing history automatically clears when I close the net (I want it to) and so the site thinks its “new” every time and that’s why it pops up. That’s my theory anyway.
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Hi Jamila,
In the nicest way possible, the pop up is so very annoying. Even once is too much. I hate having it forced at me even though I’ve signed up already. Every single time I come to the home page. I guess pop ups are my pet peeve… I implore mamamia to please resist the urge to use annoying in-your-face pop ups. It drives me so crazy that I’ve occasionally left the site before even browsing.
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