By KATE HUNTER
Ralph Lauren has a lot to answer for.
Those gorgeous black and white photos taken on windswept beaches; beautiful families all dressed in white; revelling in the simple magic of being together.
In my heart, I suppose I always knew those pics were a crock but in those love-struck early days of our marriage, I did imagine our family holidays would be like that.
My fantasy looked like this: We arrive at our destination on sunset and tumble joyfully from the car. There would be a walk on the beach with our rosy-cheeked toddler atop daddy’s shoulders, the baby asleep in a Baby Bjorn on my chest, our five year old frolicking a little ahead of us, collecting seashells.
The children go to bed, tired and happy while husband and I sip wine in the balmy night air, planning the sun- soaked days to come.
Parents reading this would be struck by the fact that nowhere in my fantasy family holiday did I mention packing. Or travel cots, sunscreen, swim nappies or mealtimes. This is because a) I was an idiot, and b) because Ralph Lauren makes clothes, not documentaries.
Our real life family holidays began more like this:
Day Of Departure
8am Husb leaves for work, promising to be home by 3pm so as to avoid traffic. Children spend day in ill-fitting rags as all clothes earmarked for holiday have been quarantined.
8.30am Take eldest to school then dash home to commence packing, making mental note to purchase baby Panadol from chemist on way home from delivering dog to boarding kennel. Realise no one’s swimmers fit and baby has no swimmers. Resolve to go to Target as well as stopping at chemist (baby Panadol) on way home from kennel. Wonder whether we will be arrive at destination in time for kid-friendly dinner at surf club. Decide that given husb will arrives home at 3pm, this should be no problem. There may even be time for Ralph Laurenesque walk on beach.
Whose school holidays look like this? THIS IS A LIE, PEOPLE.
11am Dog safely at kennel, swimmers purchased. Arrive home and clean out fridge so as not to return home post holiday to manky milk and slimy salad makings.
12 noon Put youngest children to sleep early in anticipation of later than normal bedtime. No sleep happens. Collect eldest child (early) from school so as to be ready for 3pm departure. Pack car, leaving esky with perishables until last.
3.15pm No sign of husband. Turn on ABC Kids for cranky, sleep-deprived children.
3.33pm Receive text from husb. Has been corralled by boss – home in 30 minutes. Remove esky with perishables from car.
4.48pm Husb arrives home. Not talking to him, so point at 3 year old now snoring on floor.
5.20pm En route. Estimate 70 minute drive will take two hours due to traffic. Surf Club dinner and Ralph bloody Lauren walk clearly off agenda so detour via McDonalds drive through.
6.11pm Three year old vomits Oreo McFlurry with such force it hits the windscreen
7.30pm Arrive at beach house. Realise travel cot still beside front gate at home. Argue about whose fault this is.
8.10pm Kids in bed [read, baby in parents' bed as no travel cot]. Speaking to husb again out of necessity as need to negotiate who will get up when baby wakes at 4am. Trade-off will be afternoon nap rights. 1am Baby wakes with high temperature. There is no baby Panadol.
This post, however, is not a tale of woe. The message I want to leave parents of babies and toddlers with is this: IT GETS BETTER.
You WILL reclaim your holidays.
It’s happening for us now. For a long time, a holiday was little more than a change of location – transporting the chaos from one dwelling to another, but now, only a few short years later, I am taking a novel away with me. And I have every intention of finishing it. A wise friend told me, ‘You get your holidays back once your youngest can read and swim.’
It’s true. For a child, reading is the greatest gift, but it’s arguably greater for that child’s parent. Jumping into the pool with your kids is fun, sure, but being able to dive into a novel while they play Marco Polo is even better. Our youngest is now six, and she more or less packs for herself. Happily we go nowhere that her pole-dancer/flowerchild look isn’t tolerated. No one needs nappies, bottles, blankies. Our kids can get their own breakfast and even go out for the paper. That, to me, is a real holiday.
Ralph Lauren would do well to take note.
So, school holidays. What are you expecting?
Comments
42 Comments so far
I love travelling with my toddler. She’s only 18 months but we have been overseas, interstate and local driving holidays. I would like to encourage other parents to try travelling with their kids, it’s not as hard as you think. You see the world differently, everything feels more up-close & personal. You slow down & notice things you wouldn’t have seen before. No, it’s not like backpacking through Europe in your twenties, it’s different. But I reckon it’s better.
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Thank you Kate.
I was there. And used to say that going on a holiday was like doing what you do, everyday, somewhere else. Only not with all your stuff.
Hated them. Probably why we didnt really do any…
But now, like you, youngest is 6, and in September had a fantastic holiday.
Kids got to swim in pool all day, everyday.
Daddy got his massage.
And Mummy got to drink Mojitos by the pool, in the sun, whilst reading her book.
Bliss!
PS Before I get told off for not watching children in pool whilst drinking Mojitos…I did. I wasnt the only adult watching. They were just as busy pestering me for chips…
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We can’t afford and don’t do vacations at the moment. We holiday by going on day trips. The little bit of money we do have, we like to pump into the small communities that got hit hard by the big QLD floods and are still recovering.
With a bub in tow, this suits us as we can stop and feed her as required.
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Hilarious!!!!!
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Thank you Kate for the gift of hope! We hae just finished our first family holiday with our 8 month old (home tomorrow) and I’m exhausted! Let’s hope mine will be a baby genius and will be reading by next year!
Bettina @ http://www.littleoldsouls.com
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My parents took me and my 3 younger siblings around Australia for 18months when I was 8-9.. Then again with my FOUR younger siblings when I was 13. Both times in tents, all packed on the roof of the old Land Cruiser! I will forever look back at that time as the best of my childhood, and am so so grateful that my parents gave us that opportunity. I have no idea how they did it!
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Haha, this made me laugh as my family and I are going on a holiday next month. Granted, I only have one child at the moment (one year old), but there is so much planning involved just for him! Here is our ‘vacation’ criteria:
1. Flight less than 4 hours
2. Direct flights ONLY
3. Hotels walking distance to attractions that we would like to see
4. Minimum microwave and mini fridge in room
5. One day before/after the holiday off from work to sit at home and pack/unpack in leisure
We are experienced travelers with our baby now – this is our fourth trip! I still think that vacations are worth it, even with babies and toddlers, but they are very different from when we were pre-baby! But I could say that about every aspect of our lives!
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Hilarious Kate!
We are about to embark on a year long holiday,doing the big lap around Oz with our 3 children (11,5 and 3). I swing between goosebumpy excitement to pure fear when I think about our family of five in a caravan for a year when we can’t even get out of the driveway without tears and tantrums (yep often mine!). Wish me luck!!
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Have booked flights for a month in UK/ Euro next June- one of our kids will be 3yrs, the other 5 wks old. Should be inteersting!
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Dear God, I am packing right now for a 3 week campervan trip to NZ. We are leaving tomorrow morning, and I wish I had another day (or 6).
3 kids under 7, we are all so excited, but……wish me luck!
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Going to Noosa with best couple friends and their 11 month old and our 6 month old. Husband and I are not sure whether this is best or worst decision of life. So far Miss 6 months has her own suitcase not to mention all the carry ons and we just spent bloody 200 bucks of travel case for pram as no time to order from lovely USA with lovely USA prices so got stuck with stupid Australian prices. Stupid pram too wide for any cheap carriers.
Is all very stressful.
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I just got back from 10 wonderful days in Bali with partner and miss just turned 4.
I must say I was DREADING how she would travel….but I am soooo pleased to say it was fantastic! The flight, the taxis, everything was great, and I’m sorry to say we did have one of those Ralph Lauren moments! Mum and dad walking along the beach cocktails in hand while child waltzed along in front of us.
She is at the perfect age now and we look forward to many more
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THAT is exactly why I am not going away thus Christmas! I have 2 boys, both still in their cot (9 months and 22 months) and I couldn’t think of anything worse than taking them on a holiday!
We will go on day trips until they are both in beds. My god, I’ll need a big holiday then!!!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays people!
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ooooh i am looking forward to that time! EVERY ONE of our holidays look like this. aye carumba!
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Lol!! I loved this post! That is exactly how our holidays are at the moment. We have a 3 year old, an 18 month old and another on the way! I’m glad we are not the only ones who have holidays like this! There is light at the end if the tunnel!!
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I can only hope it gets better…..miss 7 is pretty self sufficient but with 5 yr old twins with autism, who don’t talk and still need night nappies and like to chew everything in sight, a relaxing time it’s not
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I don’t know how they did it, but my parents took me and my sister to Europe when I was 4 and she was 2.5. For about 4 weeks. Apparently we were pretty good and hardly ever misbehaved, but then again we were strapped into those fold up prams the whole time. However it wasn’t without the vomiting instances! My dad has footage of me throwing up in a taxi in London (the driver was really annoyed and made my dad pay extra) and my sister vomited all over this pretty blue frock in Florence. My mum kept it sealed in a plastic bag ad brought it back to aus, she couldn’t bear to throw it out!
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She kept the dress! Arg the smell when unpacking.
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Thanks for the laugh – and the reassurance. Although we have become far more savvy at planning our holidays (ie. it has to be a 30 second walk to the beach/pool/park and ideally a five minute drive to a child-friendly cafe/ shops/indoor playcenter in case it rains yarda/yarda), it still feels like we are hauling so much stuff with the portacot and the pram and the car seats. There are some pretty beautiful moments with taking really young kids away – and I think it is worth having a change of scene – but it still requires a fair bit of strategic planning!
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It gets even better still when you can send them a text on the way to the airport!
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Kate – this is a much needed post of hope
. I can’t wait until my 3 year old is old enough to read/swim. in the meantime mummy and daddy have a much deserved holiday in Thailand for a week – sans kids.
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Thank you for this clever, timely and hilarious post! We are currently on holiday in Bali with our 21 month old and while our time here so far has been good fun – it’s also involved lots of tears, tantrums, accidents, anxiety (me) and food throwing. It certainly hasn’t been the idyllic holiday we imagined, and as we are sitting in a darkened room waiting for our child to sleep, I read this out to my hubby and we both laughed – what a great stress relief! It’s good to know that well get our holidays back in about 6 years (arrghhh!)
x x x
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THIS is why ‘camping’ is not a relaxing family weekend, and my youngest is past the baby stage. Miss 7 & Miss 3 come with the following: pick & pack just enough clothes for them (taking into account wet/muddy incidents AND the available space in the car), as well as pick & pack my own clothes, pre-plan & pre-make evening meals, keep them occupied & safe while setting up tarps, tent etc, wrangle dirty clothes & clean clothes seperation in the tent, keep a constant eye on Miss 3 especially around/in water and do 2 times the amount of trips to the toilet block because MIss 3 never needs to go when I do. Oh and when you get home, wash/iron/put away camping clothes for both of them (and me) and catch up on the housework I’ve missed out on while I’ve been away. All the while forgetting to buy milk on the way home to restock the fridge. And fortunately hubby does his fair share of cooking (read: reheating) but there are still dishes.
It’s not all bad, but it’s not a fairy tale – then again, what part of life is? The price paid above buys delighted squeals building sandcastles, special moments in the pool with daddy, time with each other away from the laptop, ipad and iphone, and morning silence as exhausted girls sleep in. Sometimes I’d still trade it for a child free couple of days of truly relaxing, but then I’d miss my girls and be just as happy to go back home and see them again. This season won’t last forever, as soon they’ll be teenagers and will prefer to hang with their friends than with us. And amongst the effort, that’s what I cling to – the magic in these moments.
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Mums, if you’re heading to a beach destination for your holidays, never, ever dress your boy up like a little dandy.
The locals would beat the snot out of him.
In fact, I’d bet some little grommet is waiting just out of shot for the right time to rip all 30 buttons off that outfit.
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Kate you are hilarious and spot on as usual!!
holidays are reclaimed when all children can read and swim – I am going to pass this on!
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All of this is so TRUE!! And Kate, you’re right, it’s so wonderful now the kids are older. Mine are 14,13 & 8.but I do look back in a blurry kind of wonder at those younger years. Turned our that 2 had Apergers and 1 had severe ADHD. no wonder the holidays were full of tears, tantrums and exhaustion. And that was just me!!!
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Oh Kate this made me laugh. Not because I am laughing at you but with you as we had a very similar experience last summer(this year in February).
We have 2 daughters, one was 3.5 one was 9 months when we travelled, but we also had my (adult)brother and his girlfriend with us. Luckily. Otherwise we wouldn’t have survived.
I was also ‘imagining’ our holiday with the same picture like you, no cooking, no washing, fun and good times.
We live in Melbourne and went to Queensland. By car. I still don’t know why. And why didn’t anyone tell me about the 1hour time difference?
So yeah, I am looking forward to the future.
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I LOVE this post. Our last holiday – meant to leave at 10am to have lunch there – husband had ‘a few last minute’ work things to attend to – we left at 3. Should get there for swim, cheeky cocktail before dinner – all not lost. Resentful – me having to pack everything – bickering on the way – missed turn off. Arrived at about 6. Very quick swim – poured drink – youngest says she feels sick – moments later she throws up again, and again and again. Gastro! Couldn’t drive home with her in that state but were staying with another family so were bleaching everything everytime she was sick. I consequently, stupidly drowned my sorrows with alcohol. Husband started throwing up in the middle of the night. I got up (hungover) at 6am – re-packed the car, again by myself due to sick husband – and we left for home soon after! Just over 12hours our holiday lasted. Never again will I pay for a holiday with another family. It would’ve been a bit crap but at least we could’ve stayed in the house that we had paid for for the long weekend. I’m happy to hear that there’s only a few more years till it gets better. Goodluck to all those venturing out these holidays.
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As a person who travels frequently with now 3yr old and 18 mth old, here’s what I found works for us.
1. Hire as much baby stuff you can when you arrive. Cot, pram, highchair, etc even toys! There are some fabulous baby hire places. Take as little with you as possible.
2. Go self contained units. If you can’t, get a place with at least a fridge and microwave. Buffet breakfasts are great but when you gave kids demanding brekkie at 6am when buffet doesn’t open till 7 it’s a lifesaver!
3. If you go resort style, make sure restaurants open at 5pm for dinner. Then book at 5 knowing your kids may not be served till 6! We don’t plan on 6 o’clock dinners on hols cause crazy kids may not eat till after 7.
4. I’m a huge list fan! Start it a month out and keep adding to it. I now have ours saved on the computer. May be anal but saves a lot of grief and husband-blaming later on
.
5. Remember that it does rain!! So be prepared with iPad, DVD etc. the hire toys were fabulous for these days as kids have all these new things!!
5. Lastly, try and outnumber the kids. My brilliant mum will often come on hols with us. With kids having day naps and in bed by 7ish, having mum means hubby and I could go out a few nights. Or mum and I can go shopping withou kids. Even my husband and mum do things without me and the kids! Of course you need a cool travel companion. Lucky that’s my mum!
Oh and my daughter is very finicky about her favourite things/space so we set up her bed like it is at home. Nightlight, hire a bed rail, her sleeping friends etc. means we take more things but means she’s settled from 1st night. We even do this if it’s only 1 night away.
Of course there are stresses but this all helps enormously!
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Ugh. Left a long comment before leaving for work this morning. No sign of it now. I hate how often this seems to happen
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Hey Kylie,
I checked through every comment (gah) in spam and trash and yours is not there. Seems like it was never received at our end?
xxxx
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Bugger! Thank you so much for checking Mia… this is the third time this has happened to me in about 3 weeks. Haven’t mentioned it before, but I did like today’s comment! Thanks again.
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On the plus side Tetris is a breeze after you have packed the car a few times for family holidays with a child in tow.
i still am in envy of those people that back pack around the country with a baby in tow! How dammit, how?
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Maybe they have children a la Ralph Lauren ads?
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Sammie, I remember torturing my parents with my reluctance to share in family holidays. Many years later, they are now some of the memories that I treasure most. Your daughter is at a critical stage in her development where she is learning about herself through her relationships with others. You will probably laugh together about this stage in the future and she will probably apologise to her beautiful Mum, just like I did !!
Kate, thanks for describing our family holidays so accurately!! With three little boys under five, we have quite a few of those ‘who left the porta cot behind’ moments. You make me look forward to the next stages of parenting and also remind me how quickly they will grow and change. Think I might go a have a few cuddles before they quickly approach adolescence!!
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As the mother of a soon-to-be-16 year old daughter, holidays have now tranistioned back to navigating a moody child who firmly believes family holidays are just a cruel invetion by parents to torture child by taking them away from ‘the actual fun stuff’ (read: anything friend related).
Tantrums have made a return only now they revolve around bouts of sulking and refusing to remove earphones/come out of room/speak to anyone because everything at beach house is ‘lame’. I really miss having a toddler….
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Ha, ha! I’m going to enjoy my harmonious family holidays while they last. I’ve got a few “wonder years” left before I’m in your shoes.
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Last year we left my then 17 year old daughter at home for a month in the school hols while we went overseas (with support and occasional dropping-in by grandparents and friends). She looked after the garden and pets. She had friends around but the house was clean and orderly when we got back and the pets and garden were all alive and well. We enjoyed ourselves and so did she! Is there something wrong with her?
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Nothing wrong with her at all….. We leave our teens at home too. Once we even let teenager’s boyfriend house/pet sit for us and house was in one piece when we got home. I did remind him that if he messed up he wouldn’t be seeing our daughter again!! So maybe that had something to do with the house/pets surviving for two weeks.
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At least you can put toddlers to bed, or pick them up when they’re tantruming. The only advantage with teenagers is that they will self time out, usually a lot more than you’d actually like. Then they rise like Lazarus, asking you to take them to the shops, or a friend’s place.
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I can so relate
Our holiday house only has wiifi in the upstairs parents bedroom (which has no lock) cue random visits from teen so she can update facebook and moaning from said teen during the rest of the week about how boring the beach is.
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Our holiday house has…wait for it….. NO WIFI!!
(lol, but I have my iphone, so I’m all good, thanks…)
Apparently we are torturing our teenagers by “making” them go there, and it is SOOO boring.
My husband and I just look at each other and roll our eyes….which infuriates the kids even more…
Ohhh the horror of being forced to spend time in a beautiful house at the beach……..must be a new modern day form of child abuse.
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