Samantha Brick
“While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”
They’re words from UK columnist, Samantha Brick. In a recent post for the Daily Mail, 41-year-old Brick wrote about the effect of being beautiful.
The plus side? Bar tenders shoo away her credit card, men she doesn’t know send bottles of champagne to her table. “And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day,” she wrote.
But it’s not all champagne and flowers. According to Samantha, there are many negative by-products of being so attractive.
Women are threatened by her. Jealous wives freeze her out of their lives; insecure female bosses bar her from promotions at work; and none of her female friends have ever asked her to be a bridesmaid at their wedding.
She wrote:
If you’re a woman reading this, I’d hazard that you’ve already formed your own opinion about me — and it won’t be very flattering. For while many doors have been opened (literally) as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face — and usually by my own sex.
I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.
You’d think we women would applaud each other for taking pride in our appearances.
I work at mine — I don’t drink or smoke, I work out, even when I don’t feel like it, and very rarely succumb to chocolate. Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room.
The article became an internet sensation in the days after it was published. At the time of writing, the story had notched up nearly 1.5 million hits for the Daily Mail and nearly 50,000 people had shared it on Facebook. It has been picked up by media outlets around the world, and for a while it was the second top trending topic on Twitter.
The post has also attracted nearly 5000 comments and they aren’t all pleasant. Many readers told Brick to get over herself. She was labelled delusional. One comment – which received a phenomenal 18,000 ‘likes’ from fellow readers – recommended Samantha get a reality check.
In a follow-up piece one day later, Brick wrote the 24-hour period after the article was published had been one of the most horrendous of her life.
“While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.
Yes, I have cried on and off all day. But do I regret my article? Not at all. I’m know I’m risking the wrath of the online community once more, but there is an irony to yesterday. While I was tearfully dealing with the emails and calls outside the supermarket, a young man approached me, offered to park my car and even get me a coffee.
He could see I was having a tough time — and yes, my looks had helped me out again.
I know women reading this will think I deserve to be attacked again. But why should I be? Yes, I’m a good-looking woman — albeit one that has feelings, too.
Do you think women are suspicious of or hostile towards other women just because they’re attractive?
*No name calling on this (or any) post please. Abusive comments towards Samantha Brick (or anyone) will be deleted.
Comments
348 Comments so far
What she’s saying isn’t completely unheard of. There are studies that back her up: http://www.guyspointofview.com/fat-women-are-lazy-thin-women-are-bitchy-say-other-women/
As for her article, yeah she did come off as a bit arrogant but that is probably to cover up her own insecurities. People often brag about things to bolster their own self confidence. I’m no stranger to that; I know I sometimes say things I ought to keep to myself just to reassure myself. You can see that she is doing the same thing by listing all the men who have given her free things, etc. Her bragging is a form of self-reassurance. She was probably rejected as some point in her life (probably the fact that she had a lazy eye and was chubby younger caused some insecurity, I can relate because I had both as well when I was younger), and to cover up that wound she has to repeat why she’s better not so much to make other people believe it as it is to convince herself that it is true. That is my honest speculation anyway; speaking as somebody who finds myself making the same mistake often. But the way that people react to her is equally revealing: does that not also point out a lot of insecurity on the behalf of the offended people who take her article so personally and feel the need to publicly bash her and put down her looks?
She probably really is pretty in real life; some people just aren’t photogenic. But I don’t see how bashing her is a good idea, it only proves her point, no? It certainly doesn’t help anything.
Besides, people like Jen Davis sharing their experiences of being judged based on their looks are basically doing the same thing; but they are being applauded for it, not ridiculed. I do think that there is a problem; as indicated by these studies, with people judging other people simply based on their looks, both for being pretty or for being ugly. There’s other articles out there that prove the same thing. Either way, it’s wrong.
I wrote an article related to this a little while ago trying to explore the different aspects of the skinny vs. overweight ordeal:
Definition of Beauty: A Defense and Reprimand of the Fashion Industry and Those Who Criticize It-Regarding the Problems of Obesity, Anorexia, and Self Respect
mtgrl.wordpress.com
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I feel hostility from female friends in my circle. I recently realized why. I believe it’s because I’m attractive and have a nice personality. The men in our circle coupled and single find me very attractive. I have no interest in taking anyone’s SO away from them. They stare at me all the time. It’s sometimes a subtle slight or comment or a deliberate brush off. It totally dumb founded me for the longest time. There’s really nothing I can do about it outside of ditching them which I have no interest in doing. It does help me to understand why it’s happening but it feels like high school rivalry all over again something most of us grow out of.
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I agree with Samanthat in a way. When I went to school, girls would often get jealous because I was ‘pretty’ and they would harshly bully me. Though girls boast about how they are pretty and boys will be their slaves, it’s no fair about the brutal critisim that Samantha is receiving.
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This article is hilarious. I find it surprising that Samantha Brick is 41 because surely someone of that age would have a bit of maturity, wouldn’t they?
She seems incredibly full of herself.
I mean, if some man came up to me in a public place & offered to park my cat and buy me coffee I’d be very thankful for his kindness but I’d treat him no differently than if it was a female who came up to help me. Why does Samantha Brick assume because someone came up to her that it’s BECAUSE of her looks (which aren’t actually THAT amazing, as she implies).
I find the whole thing quite curious. Bizarre even. No I’m not a hater. Nor am I jealous of her. (For as long as I can remember, humility has always been on of my biggest turn ons and pride is the exact opposite – a huge turn off.) When someone is in love with themselves & obsessed with their own looks & wants to gloat about it to the world, it is embarrassing.
I actually pity her. LOL
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The thing I find most difficult about this article is that you categorize yourself as being more attractive than all these other ‘jealous’ women out there. It’s true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think it’s a tough lesson for people to learn this days with society telling us we all need to look a certain way. I think confidence In a person is a great trait to have and I wish more of us could see ourselves the way you see yourself – although coming out publicly stating how hard you life is due to your amazing looks is just idiotic and far beyond confidence.
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I just read some of her earlier articles and it was scary. In 2010 she wrote how her husband would divorce her if she gained weight and that he watches what and how much she eats. Very sad.
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Bullshit!
Im a woman. I am reasonably attractive although I hae gained too much weight in the last decade. I have some incredibly beautiful friends. Some are models. I know my partner finds some of them attractive and it doesnt bother me as I know he loves me and is attracted to me, too. I asked my best friend, who is an exotic looking beauty to be in my bridal party.
Yes, sometimes I wish I had their looks. But I never feel any negativity towards them. I know sometimes some of them wish they could have my life (happily married with 2 beautiful children), but that does not mean they feel negativity towards me.
I have self confidence and know that I am more than just my looks so just because someone is more beautiful than me, I dont feel threatened by that.
My beautiful friends are my friends regardless of their looks. Its their personality that makes them so endearing. Their beauty is not only outwards, it also shines from within. They can see the beauty in others, too.
However, I dislike people who are shallow and feel that having good looks should give them a free ride. I dislike people who think they are better than people who put less efforts into their looks. Being attractive is not something you should define yourself by.
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Now I wonder…should I attack you about being aware some people are envious of your “happily married with two children” life? Should I accuse you of being a smug married and putting it out there that you and your family are superior to others? Maybe I should accuse you of being PETTY IN CAPS to really cement it. No, I don’t think I will. I’m sure you’re right, they probably are envious sometimes. End of story.
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Boring. Next article please.
I also should clarify that I am female (I don’t want my user name to mislead anyone into thinking this is coming from a male point of view)
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I think it’s not pretty women that other women hate. The hated ones are the pretty women who go round saying that their beauty is a curse/ inconvenience/hindrance in their friendships, etc.
I think more women out there are hating on her for writing the article rather than for being beautiful.
I mean, of course, women will be envious of your good looks. But I can’t think of anyone who’s going to hold that against you if you’re a truly nice person.
“Complaining” about your beauty is what rattles most women. It’s like an obese person complaining to someone who’s starving that having a lot to eat isn’t all that good. Dude, you’re not hated for having stuff to eat. You’re hated for saying that.
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Firstly I’ve known better looking women than Samantha here who have told of similar problems… but she’s obsessed with herself – and she really demonstrates a dilemma many women in this world have about their own self worth. It is certainly something that arises for people though… I see it often…. although I must tell Ms Samantha that there is nothing in this world more attractive to a man than a woman who is very sure of herself and is real, grounded, happy and strong – all women are capable of being that. I wish you all the best Sam.
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She is absolutely right. I’m actually packing it on a bit these days (busy working mum, no time for gym, sorry!), but I have had plenty of times when this has been an issue. In a previous job, I worked in a whole department full of young women. You know how they say people who look like each other are attracted to one another? Well, there was a distinct segregation in that department, whereby the five pretty girls were completely frozen out by the five not-so-pretty girls. Actually, one of them was also pretty, but she was threatened nonetheless. They would make out like us prettier girls were bimbos or stupid and find any opportunity to make us look bad, when in fact we knew it was all about their own feelings of inferiority. They were quite nasty, and while we would always go out of our way to invite them to social events outside of work, they would rarely return the favour. For five smart, successful women, it was quite petty and ridiculous. It just goes to show, no degree of intelligence or accomplishments will outweigh women’s vanity.
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Oh! And… Just to admit the shoe can be on the other foot, too… I recently started a new job, and I kid you not – being completely honest here – I looked around the room the first day of training, surveying the rest of the new people. I was feeling pretty happy… Then a younger, thinner, very pretty girl walked in the room, and I am quite serious when I say this, I actually had the thought, “Damn it. I’m not going to be the prettiest girl in the room.” Now, I don’t hate the girl for it, didn’t for a second, and in fact we’ve become quite friendly, but being honest – that’s the thought I had. Word for word. And I was a little bit bummed out for five mins. Just saying.
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Maybe THAT attitude was what those 5 “not-so-pretty” women had picked up on? The feeling of their being a competition? The feeling that you felt superior, prettier?
As I mentioned in my other post, I have some incredibly beautiful friends. They also see beauty in me. And they dont take my or their own looks all that seriously. That’s what makes anybody want to be friends with you. Who’d want to spend time with somebody whod constantly try to look better than you just so they are the prettier one? THAT IS PETTY!
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I can’t speak for every last woman on this planet, but the vast majority of women I know fall victim to their own vanity in one way or another. What I’m saying is, you can be in either one of those situations/similar at different times in your life. There will always be someone more fortunate and someone less fortunate than you. And when you are constantly judged on your looks and compared with others, you start doing it to yourself, too. I did not say I felt superior to anybody in relation to my looks – I only stated what was true, and the attitudes of the people in the situations. The first, the girls were nasty about it. The second, the shoe was on the other foot, but I chose to be nice – why wouldn’t I? I’m simply aware of my strengths and weaknesses, physical and otherwise. And I’m aware of how I’m judged on those, and how I judge myself. I’m not calling it right, I’m just calling it what it is and admitting my own participation in this unhealthy way we all get about comparing ourselves to the next person. Yes, I am aware of these things in my mind, but I also deal with them internally as my own issues. Simply that I recognise when I’m being judged in the workplace in relation to my looks does not mean I outwardly gave anybody else the impression I was superior to them based on appearance. In fact, as somebody who likes to be taken seriously in my work, that is something I would avoid doing like the plague. But it doesn’t matter what I do and say when other people are letting their own insecurities get the better of them. NOT my fault. But hey, thanks for judging me anyway… Without knowing me from a bar of soap.
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And just for the record, I never said I constantly try and look prettier than anybody! I only admitted that I have a new friend, clearly much prettier than me and I wouldn’t dream of holding it against her for a second! Just like you said in your other post, sometimes even you wish you had the looks of your other pretty friends – how is what you said and what I said any different in the grand scheme of things? You’re aware of where you sit in the looks department in relation to your friends, so clearly you too have made your own comparisons. And like me, you’re more attractive than some, less attractive than others. Big deal. My friends and I also love each other, regardless of how we look and how we have evolved over time, also. My first comment was not about my friends – it was about people in the workplace that I tried to be nice to, and they weren’t nice back and made judgements and comments about us being bimbos (which we were not) and behaved in underhanded ways, and it was our belief at the time that it was done in spite because of the way we looked. It does happen, whether it occurs in your little bubble or not.
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She clearly states she doesnt think she’s stunning when she says right at the beginning ‘i’m no Elle Macpherson’. There’s no denying she’s pretty, and those who are are probably the same people who he is writing this article about. I can understand where she’s coming from, it’s not all sunshine and flowers being pretty. Women should be confident and love the skin they’re in, shouldn’t they?
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I think it’s all a publicity stunt, get her name out there, payment for interviews,
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iAmandaroseI feel rather sorry for her. a world wide hate campaign would be terrible. And she is pretty- they photo’s don’t show it but on video she really does look very pretty.
Very silly article though and any decent newspaper wouldn’t have printed it out of humanity.
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Hahahahahahahahaha. That article is just funny!
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Additionally, I don’t understand how someone saying “I think I’m a beautiful person and I’ve noticed that I get treated by men in this way, and women in this way” is at all egotistical. It’s hardly a damn brag piece.
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I don’t know who she is or how modest or up herself she is or what else she’s written or what paper she works for, but I do think people are intimidated by beauty.
My mother has always told me this is the case, and to me it makes sense. Women can be very jealous, petty, bitchy people.
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I think the opposition she experiences is because of her attitude not her looks. People don’t react well to someone who thinks they’re all that!
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I have found that being an attractive female that it certainly has opened doors for me! Sadly, most of these doors were opened by men who hoped that by doing so it would somehow lead to sex.
I think it is brave of this woman to admit that her beauty can be a hinderance. It is interesting that in our society it is deemed unattractive and arrogant to think you are pretty/beautiful/sexy- just read the many comments below that revolve around the theme of ‘modesty as attractive’. Why is it so wrong for a person to openly admit to being physically attractive? Perhaps it comes down to the age old adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but come on! generally attractive people are attractive and generally unattractive people are unattractive….
I have experienced instances of females being threatened by me or openly nasty to me based on how I look, however this has usually occured in situations that involve men also and therefore is a result of competition I guess? e.g husbands or boyfriends talking to me, coed workplaces or out at clubs or bars and so on etc generally it will be older females who feel threatened also, I think it is a natural instinct. However, I have only experienced this with women who I have just met or do not personally know, my friends and female aquaintences certainly do not feel this way! (I know people might tell me that perhaps I am not as attractive as I think and so on, I am not claiming I am amazing or that everyone would find me attractive as obviously not everyone would or does, but in general I would be considered an attractive person).The biggest downfall I think is that people assume that you are not intelligent or don’t need or want a career!
All in all though, beauty is an entire package and I think personality is what determines just how beautiful a person is and it shines through asethic attractiveness!
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Yes, I agree. Modesty… yes, I guess that’s attractive, but what is the one thing men AND women always say is the most attractive thing about a person… CONFIDENCE.
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I think there is one part of your comment that makes a lot of sense: that it only applies to people who don’t know you. And as you said, that seems natural. If my partner spent time alone with a downright gorgeous friend of mine, I would have no issue cause I know he likes her for her personality and she’s a friend. I would feel slightly threatened if he spent time with a very attractive woman who he doesn’t know yet, as I would suspect he is spending time with her because he is physically attracted.
Having said that, i trust him.
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This article is so awkward….I’m going to say it, I’m sorry…she’s just so average looking! I dont want to be THAT person, i really dont, and I think after reading her comments maybe she looks less attractive as well, but I was expecting some supermodel stunner! She is not ugly at all, but she certainly isnt this amazing looking human she thinks she is! And I kinda think the reason woman dont like her, has to do with her mouth not her face!
Sorry she put herself out there, and i hate to be petty or rude but i honestly dont think she is that amazing! I find confidence is very attractive….cockiness is not! there is a difference i believe! Sorry to sound bitchy…could be my last week or pregnancy and bedrest…Im not really doing much but reading Mammamia and im a tad bit delirious and not allowed chocolate…..u can imagine my mood right now haha
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She looks great for 41.
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Message to Samantha- women don’t like you because you’re up yourself. Maybe add working on your personality to your beauty regime and report back then- but wait you wouldn’t need to report back because you would have already worked out what your original problem actually was. End message.
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I don’t understand the beauty regime part…
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I’m sexy and I know it!!! Wiggle, wiggle……’
I know so many beautiful women who don’t think like this. My sister in law is soooo beautiful – people stare at her!! And as she puts it ‘I don’t give a shit what they think’!!! This women needs to take page out of her book. I think it’s all personality and with an ego like that it won’t make you friends!!
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I see being humble is not a trait Ms. Brick values overly much.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t know if this article was written to stir the pot, but if it is genuine, this woman seems very sure of herself and that may be what is making other women insecure.
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I think in the end personality shines through and trumps physical attractiveness. For example, one girl who moved into my on-campus accommodation was physically adorable but she gave off the most negative vibes. She often had a sour look on her face and was difficult to approach. Consequently, she didn’t get any male attention at all. I find this in guys too. It doesn’t matter what he looks like, if he acts in an arrogant, mean or condescending manner I’m turned off immediately! So unattractive! I do feel sorry for people who act like this too. If everyone was a little kinder to each other the world would be a much nicer place
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She wrote this article to be controversial and provoke a response. Job done.
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A completely inane and pointless piece just asking people to be cruel. Previous articles by the same author have focussed on her flirting to get ahead at work. The Daily Mail is a hateful piece of rubbish which takes particular joy in misogyny. Good article from the Guardian on this ‘article’ and the Mail’s attitude to women in general. I know WHY you use Daily Mail articles on this site. I just wish you didn’t.
”t obviously hates its female readers, too, despite women making up 53% of its readership. The general motto of the Daily Mail seems to be that a woman’s role in life is to be pretty, thin, get married, quit work, have children and, ideally, disappear or die before getting embarrassingly old and fat (it is no wonder the paper loved Diana so much.) The paper is full of scare stories warning its female readers about the terrible repercussions of diverging from that course, usually written by female columnists who regret the terrible life choices that have led to them being childless and unmarried at the shockingly geriatric age of 40 plus. Few of them ever talk about the terrible life choices that have led to them selling their souls to the Daily Mail, a development many would probably see as far more tragic than not being married.”.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/apr/04/samantha-brick-thrown-to-wolves
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that article is BRILLIANT
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Come on folks, I know that you wan’t to join me in song !
“I’m too sexy for my hat…too sexy for my hat” .
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and i do my little turn on the cat walk…..
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This is interesting because the same woman has an article in Oz Grazia this week which is about how she is a better mother to her step-son than his biological mother is. Go figure.
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My grandmother would ask if Samantha Brick is after a medal or somewhere to pin it.
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There is nothing more attractive than modesty and I think this woman should learn some (if she did write all of those things). I just don’t see what she thinks is so amazing about herself. I showed her pic to my husband and he did not think she was beautiful at all which means neither beautiful inside or out.
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So thats why none of my friends ever asked me to be their bridesmaid
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Having checked out the author’s other work, Im of the opinion shes a bit deluded and has some pretty odd views around attractiveness and other gender stuff. Just because she thinks people hate her for being beautiful, doesnt make any of it true.
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I have an 11-year-old daughter who really is beautiful, to the point where people stop and stare in the street and want to touch her, it has happened since she was a baby. Her older brother’s friends are starting to ask him who she is! Eek! I’m teaching her to be confident about how she looks but insist she has to use her brain as well. I have been restructured out of jobs by women bosses not because of beauty but because of my confidence and ability, although one of my women friends says that is what makes me beautiful. I like talking to men but notice their wives do get jealous. I’m not after their men, merely interested in what they have to say and pay them attention. Why is that a threat to some? Because they don’t do it. They nag and nitpick. I’ve never been a bridesmaid either!
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Both my sister and sister in law are like your daughter, everyone looked at them espically around that age, 15. Both blonde, tall. (not I I’m short with brown hair) anyway you have a fantastic plan in place, confidence is great but being grounded and education, as you is really important. my sister in law used her looks to get what she wanted out of life, but it’s turned her sour and twisted. It’s sad when you see someone who’s beautiful but don’t have much at all to say and no ability to do anything.
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‘He could see I was having a tough time — and yes, my looks had helped me out again.’
So are your looks a good thing to have or a curse? Make up your mind lady, jeez…
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I get helped out too – however I normally think it is because the other people are kind – not that I am beautiful
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While I can understand the response to the original article, a small part of me agrees. I know I am not ugly, but I don’t think I am beautiful either. If I do see a stunning woman, I feel threatened in some way… and probably wouldn’t approach her for a chat. I have no idea why!
Maybe it’s some evolutionary instinct to snub her or she will steal all my potential mates and my eggs will be left to wither an die.
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Of course some women are threatened. Some women play power games with their looks and not even when they are particularly beautiful, they can make other women feel bad, because they are actually attacking them, competing and being nasty. Some people are just naturally very blessed, but it is not about the looks alone, it is if you use them and how confident you are in yourself. more of anything can be a challenge to others, looks included.
I enjoy beauty, am not particularly beautiful myself, although quite striking, but not in the pretty woman way. I like myself as I am and I enjoy people according to how they treat others. I can imagine that Brick would be striking and very attractive, particularly if she smiled warmly. How she uses her looks I don’t know and is up to her. I have felt threatened by women who played nasty games with my men, but not by beauty itself.
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Disappointed that women around the world would buy into this garbage by the Daily Mail to incite more female to female bashing.
This girl wrote an article on her experience which seems based on truth, and no one seems to care that it would have been edited and the headline exaggerated to get this kind of response.
To all the women over the world, including the negative commentators below, how about supporting your fellow women – how about supporting this girl? Oh that’s right you’d prefer to cater to the twisted state of the world where you bring down her looks, her writing and her psychological flaws.
No wonder we’re so far away from equality. Bitter women like the negative commentators below are their own worst enemy.
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I totally get what you’re saying about the Daily Mail, it’s an abomination. But it’s hard to support someone who I genuinely belive to be full of crap. And I didn’t go and look for her and start tearing her down. She put herself out there for comment. Don’t assume EVERYONE who has taken issue with her article is bitter and twisted. Plenty of beautiful women in my life and I appreciate their beauty. Especially when they have humility and kindness to go with it.
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I agree Sue. Mia might have got the circus off her back since writing the story, ‘When was your last fight with a stranger’ but the circus has not left town. I was surprised at the large number of commenters who banded together to chastise Mia and declare their moral superiority. Some commenters even going so far as to label someone they have probably never met, bratty, rude and childish.
But just as the dust had settled on that story a group of online hate-readers are back. This time to express their anger at a 41-year-old woman who dared to call herself of all things ‘beautiful ‘ and suggest that some women in her life have been jealous of her looks, how dare she! How dare she write an over the top opinion piece for the ‘Daily Mail’. That’s unheard of! Rant, rant, rant.
Before hate-reading stop and think why are you joining together with the ‘moral’ majority to express your anger and sarcasm at someone you have probably never met?
The comments are more offensive than the stories at the centre of them. The stories are nothing in comparison to the modern day witch hunts in which hundreds of commenters band together to take our their anger on another easy target.
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/brendanoneill2/100148998/the-twitterstorm-against-samantha-brick-is-infinitely-uglier-and-nastier-than-the-article-she-wrote/
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I think I’m reasonably attractive and I have definitely experienced some of the things that Samantha mentioned in her article. I’ve lost a couple of male friends when their new girlfriend felt threatened. I’ve experienced some serious bullying from a woman who in one of her attacks basically spelt out that she didn’t like me because I was young and attractive. I organised a major event, months of work, to be commended on the fact that I wore a nice dress to it.
However I’ve got to say, the way the article was written definitely was inviting the criticism. I’m sure there could have been better ways to make the point.
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It’s very hard to judge unless you know the full story.
I have not read all of the comments so I’m not sure if these points have already been mentioned by other readers.
The headline of the story and some other wording used throughout the story did not help Bricks ie. ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty: Why women hate me for being beautiful’. It is fair to say that it’s a huge generalization to assume all women are jealous of her good looks. The headline is likely to get readers offside before they even read the story. Perhaps the headline may have been better if it read more along the lines of, ‘why SOME women hate me for being beautiful’.
But I also have to say from reading some of the examples Bricks has given in her story, it does sound a little bit like some women are actually a little jealous of her. I found her boss’ behaviour quite unfair, Brick’s wrote:
“One contract I accepted was blighted by a jealous female boss. It was the height of summer and I’d opted to wear knee length, cap-sleeved dresses. They were modest, yet pretty; more Kate Middleton than Katie Price.
But my boss pulled me into her office and informed me my dress style was distracting her male employees. I didn’t dare point out that there were other women in the office wearing similar attire.”
More examples of jealousy and less exaggeration may have helped her cause. Who knows?
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I thought, how conceited do you need to be to write an article like that… But then I though some more:
I’m a touch over 6 feet tall and have been very underweight and very overweight, and now I’m losing the weight again. I’m not ugly and not particularly attractive (I probably fall into the ‘handsome female’ category).
Recently a girlfriend of mine stopped talking to me. I couldn’t figure out why. Finally I got it out of her: She is threatened by my weight loss… for real? Wow! I wonder if there were other people out there a few years back cheering as I put on 25+ kilos? If you have issues with me because I’ve decided to take control of my health then we aren’t really friends.
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I’m not going to get into the whole ‘women dislike or are jealous of me because I’m so attractive’ thing. I know Mamamia has championed maintaining a positive body image mainly through its critique of the use of Photoshop, and this article has relevance in that there are some women who may feel intimidated by having an extremely attractive person in their midst.
But honestly, should the original article really have been written? It smacks of poor journalism, and Samantha almost seems to be inviting scorn to be poured upon her by regaling her tale of woe of living in France, and having scores of free drinks sent her way, because she’s too pretty.
The Daily Mail is plumbing the depths of inanity by publishing it and Mamamia is contributing to it by fuelling even more click-throughs to this ridiculous tale.
Mamamia, you could do so much better than copying swathes of a previously published article then adding a couple of questions at the end to invite comments.
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I can’t help but think that if she’d only written the article in a different way she would never have received such a backlash.
For example, imagine someone like Clem Bastow (who is great, by the way, and very beautiful) had written an article about what drives women to be scornfully competitive based on looks … how different the reaction would have been!
You really just can’t help but doubt this author’s character.
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the good news is ….beauty is fleeting.Life is a real leveler.Comment written by someone who was fairly attractive and is now fifty and have had a mastectomy and chemo.My advice for what it’s worth work on character and a loving heart.
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In my short 22 years I have already come across similar experiences as Samantha. In the past year alone I can count 4 close friends who have dropped out of my life because their girlfriends dont want them talking to me. I get dirty looks from female service staff when I order a salad (Sometimes I just feel like a salad I’m not trying to watch my weight! Trust me I’ve been desperately trying to put weight on but I will always be a petite 4ft 11 .. I can’t help that) ladies in clothes stores scoff at me when I sadly announce their size 6 is just too big and my close girlfriends have actually admitted they didn’t invite me out because I was making them look bad in comparison …
Don’t hate Samantha; it’s not her fault and good on her for being brave enough to put it out there.
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I think I would have preferred this article without a photo. There may be some interesting points in the article, but I can’t focus on them because I can’t get past staring at her photo and thinking “Huh? You’re passably attractive in a mumsy way – how is this a big problem for you??”
If she was wildly, outrageously gorgeous then I’d understand some insecure women having a knee jerk reaction of jealousy. But the fact that she’s actually extremely ordinary looking makes me think it’s either in her head, or to do with her behaviour rather than her looks.
* I know I sound like a total b**** in this comment, but I think she’s put herself out there for this kind of scutiny.
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Part of me thinks ‘Damn, you’re so conceited.’
The other part of me thinks, ‘Good on you for being happy with your appearance.
I think she’s full of it about getting treated differently, though.
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Was ‘vacuous’ removed from the dictionary? ;P
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I’m with you Samantha Brick!!! Yes society deems me attractive as well and other females couldn’t be ruder about it! I’ve been called demeaning names by other females (most don’t even know me!) and ignored or given the once over and then ignored by other women. What’s the go?? I just don’t understand it. Funny how all women want to be more attractive, thinner etc but then vilify the ones who are (naturally) so.
Again on a brighter note, men are always nice to me and I have never had any such bad behaviour from men.
Where’s the girl power and sticking together and all that female bullshit?
Luckily my best friends are attractive as well so we hang out together and no one feels threatened, jealous or insecure.
What a sad, sad world it is for some people…..
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I don’t think women find attractive women a threat. But I think they find a certain type of woman a threat and they are not just attractive but smoulder with sexuality. Think Angelina Jolie or Kylie Minogue These women carry a certain promise of sexual gratification about them and are very aware of how sexy they are. They are few and far between.
So I really don’t think women hate beautiful women but are cautious of the overtly sexy ones.
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