Beautiful. Isn’t it? You can see why so many couples choose this ultra romantic location for their honeymoons. The tranquil blue-green water, the picture perfect white sand, the temperate climate, the cloudless sky, hotels with every luxury in the world and that special ‘far away from everything’ feeling.
Oh, that and the THEME PARK RIDE THAT GIVES YOU AN ORGASM.
We’d like to tell you a story. A story of deep love, of unrelenting passionate and a truly happy ending.
A young couple, let’s call them Romeo and Juliet, decide to go to a theme park. They line up and buy their tickets. Juliet giggles that she’s a tad anxious, she’s not a big fan of roller coasters and this sling shot ride looks scary. Romeo acts all super-macho, throws an arm carelessly around her shoulders and says ‘you’ll be right babe, there’s no need to be worried when you’re with me’. Sweet. Aren’t they?
Romeo and Juliet wander hand in hand to the base of the ride. They strap themselves into the harnesses and Romeo gives Juliet’s hand a little squeeze as they nervously wait for the fun to begin. Juliet chews at her nails and mutters “don’t laugh at me if I scream.” Oh Juliet…
Don’t believe it’s real? Think that maybe it was a just a one off? Perhaps it was simply a lucky coincidence for Juliet (who never would have drunk that potion and bailed out on the world if she’d had a ride like this prior to the end of Act 2).
Or maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a one off. Maybe Juliet has discovered a magical ride of orgasmic awesomeness…
FUN! Let’s go again, shall we?
The evidence is mounting ladies. It seems that this humble theme park in Malta is capable of achieving multiple orgasms.
Gentlemen pay attention. You can learn a lot from this little engine that could.
Smoke, mirrors, rapid vibrations, a strategically placed strap and a fast falling roller-coaster ride.
That’s all it takes. HOW HARD CAN IT BE? STOP READING MEN’S HEALTH AND ZOO WEEKLY FOR TIPS AND TAKE US TO A THEME PARK GUYS.
Well that was pleasant. And for those of you who have rushed off to open another tab on your browser and have been devastated to find that a trip to Malta will set you back more than you can afford to pay – never fear.
Here at Mamamia? We’re here to help. CLICK HERE.
Do you think the videos are legitimate? Or are we all just giant fakers?