lifestyle

Attention: Ladies who don't enjoy having hot wax poured onto their nether regions...

No more hairless va jay jays.

 

 

 

 

Dear Ladies Who Don’t Like Having Hot Wax Poured Onto Their Nether Regions Every Other Month But Do It Anyway Because Of Societal Expectations Etc.

We have some excellent news for you and your poor, bare vulvas.

(And some not-so-excellent news for all those beauty salons that make a small fortune from charging exorbitant amounts just to wax what is really a relatively small area.)

You see… pubic hair is BACK y’all.

There have been many near-revivals over the years. There has been the odd revolution, prompted by those who are really pissed off with the whole idea that everyone’s va-jay-jay ought to be smooth and hairless and all time. And through all those trends, the Brazilian has persisted – even occasionally bringing its younger, glitzier cousin, the Vajazzle, along for the ride.

But this time, it’s official. We are calling it.

Because – like thick eyebrows and double denim – pubic hair has returned with a vengeance.

According to a new UK survey, the majority of women – 62 per cent – said their partner prefers them to be ‘au naturel’.  Additionally, 45 per cent of women said that they just couldn’t be bothered continuing to do any styling/grooming, while 51 per cent said they had never even started any kind of hair-removal regime.

Even Gwyneth Paltrow says she “‘rocks a 70s vibe down there.”

UK Telegraph writer Beverley Turner partly credits feminist journalist and general genius, Caitlin Moran, with its revival. Moran wrote the book How to Be a Woman and pointed out that in porn: “Hairlessness is not there for the excitingness.

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It’s not, disappointingly, there to satisfy a kink… the real reason porn stars wax is because, if you remove all the fur, you can see more when you’re doing penetrative shots. And that’s it. It’s all down to the technical considerations of cinematography.”

So. Why exactly are pubes back?

No more of this.

There aren’t any exact reasons listed from the survey, but we can think of a few…

1. Evolution and all that 

Pubic hair is there for a reason. We’re no scientists, but it’s got to have something to do with pheromones, and protecting that sensitive skin that surrounds your most delicate lady parts.

2. Maintenance is annoying

At the end of the day, we’re just lazy.

Because who hasn’t done that thing where they haven’t had a chance to book in for a wax, so they decide to just shave instead.

And it’s all very well and good for the first few hours… until the itch sets in. And the hair grows back twice as thick as before. And the IN GROWNS.

Even when there is time for a wax – it has the potential to be a seriously heinous experience. Everyone has an embarrassing waxing story – surprise vajazzles included.

3. In the end, men just really don’t care

How many men have you come across that actually have a strong opinion about personal grooming? Yep – not many. The great majority are just thankful that you’re willing to get your pants off at all.

And if you ever do come across a man that insists that you ought to get a Brazilian? Well, as our very own Rosie Waterland once wrote

When I was younger and felt pressure to go bald, I used to tell boyfriends early in the relationship that “I just haven’t had time to get to the beautician…” Then I would just never go, and by the time they realised the beautician story was an elaborate ruse I already had them in my charming and witty grasp. Suckers.

As I got older and become more confident in myself, I stopped with the lies altogether. I just figured if a guy wants the goods he has to take them whatever way they’re packaged. If he has a problem with that, then obviously I’m not the right girl for him.

So, what do you think? Are you for hair down there?