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Sirens sounding. Cue bad 80s pop music. Cameras at the ready. Bring up the lights. Enter stage left, host with a bad haircut and too much fake tan. 3, 2, 1 ACTION.

“Aaaaaaaand welcome to the Mamamia Open Post of the Week. Step on up and play the game. Post your comment and see what happens next”. Okay, so you’re not going to win a new car but we promise it’ll still be fun.

Open Post is a weekly Mamamia tradition, where we turn our desks around and let you take total control of the keyboard. This is your chance to talk about, well, whatever you like. It’s less about the post and ALL about the comments.

Today we are trying something new and we’re bringing you an Open Post gallery with a difference. Here is a look back at the week that was through Twitter, Instagram and all things social media:

This happened.

 

On My Mind (OMM) this week: is romance. Or more precisely, lack of romance.

Now I’m probably not going to reach my target audience with this message but to any of the men who ARE reading this: get your shit together. Seriously. I am over the “do you feel like getting a drink, you know, after work or something?,” and the “so whaddya feel like doing?” and the “Let’s pencil in 7pm but I might have to work late”. No. No. No.

Gentlemen, THIS is a date:

 

That.

Magic carpets, starlit skies, flying ponies, tigers and turbans. You don’t have to be a prince (although I’m not ruling princes out, any single princes should feel free to call the Mamamia offices and ask for Jamila)…You just have to bring it.

Us girls, we want a good date. And given that we’ve just spent approximately two hours waxing and plucking and moisturising and tanning and bronzing and styling hair and putting on make-up and trying out multiple outfits – I think we deserve one.

Best date I’ve ever been on: he picked me up, we went to the art gallery and then to the fish market and sat on the grass outside, eating everything we’d just bought and drinking cheap wine. It wasn’t expensive, it wasn’t fancy – but it required a bit of effort and it made me feel special.

Okay, rant over. Almost.

Because last night I was walking home from the bus stop with one of my housemates and a homeless guy approached us. We both presumed he was asking for spare change but then he said “I don’t want money but you sir, should be carrying her bags.” Bam. Just like that. (Disclaimer: my housemates are both lovely blokes and offer to carry my bags all the time.)

Now I know that’s chivalry rather than romance but you know what? Homeless guy has restored my faith in male-kind this week and the rest of you men, could learn a thing or two.

Mamamia is looking for community moderators:

Do you enjoy being a part of the Mamamia community? Are you one of our regular readers and commenters? Then we would love to have you play a bigger role and become a part of our team.

As the site continues to grow, we’ve decided we need some community moderators to help us keep the friendly vibe that we’ve always worked so hard to maintain.

If you’re interested, please let us know by commenting on this post and we’ll be in touch soon.

What’s on your mind this week?

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Comments

Comment Guidelines : Imagine you’re at a dinner party. Different opinions are welcome but keep it respectful or the host will show you the door. We have zero tolerance for any abuse of our writers, our editorial team or other commenters. So if you’re rude, mean-spirited, snarky, aggressive, defamatory or bitchy, your comment will be deleted (so will any replies to the original comment – so don’t bother arguing with rude people, instead just hit the ‘alert moderator’ button).
And if you’re offensive, you’ll be blacklisted and all your comments will go directly to spam. Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re going to be – cool. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation…

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415 Comments so far

  1. Away from Aus

    I am officially sick of cold New Zealand and my sisters are sick of cold London and cold Victoria. We all want to drag our partners and parents and move somewhere warm to raise kids. Any suggestions? Sunshine coast? Some where with surf nearby and jobs. Any ideas for some hopeful tree changers?

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    • Nic

      We moved to the sunshine coast at the beginning of the year and LOVE it! We moved from cold Victoria and are finding winter here very bearable. Gorgeous beaches and so close to Brisbane.

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      • Away from Aus

        Cool thanks for the tip, did you find work easily?

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  2. alyssakt

    For some reason I’ve been unable to “like” anyone’s comments since yesterday, unless I am logged out.
    Gremlins!

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  3. angrykitty

    I have to say I am loving your OMMs, everyone :-) As a writer this is wonderful, wonderful stuff that give me great insight into real people with real dreams and worries, so thank you!

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  4. megs

    Haha Jamilia,

    Love it. I’m in the exact same position as you with the dating – the one on the scene at the moment is still in the stages of not knowing where I stand, he suggested we hang out tonight, i said yes, then got the “oh ok I’ll let you know if I finish work in time” !!!! Why suggest it in the first place if you werent free? Attention? To see if I was interested? ugh who could be bothered!

    Anyways, that is the least of my worries today
    OMM: Just told that my current contract that was supposed to be extended until Feb 2013 actually won’t be extended beyond August. So after crying (a particularly ugly cry) in front of my boss I now have to reasses and start applying for new jobs. I’m one of hundreds of 1000′s to be affected by the cuts in the QLD public service but that doesnt make it any easier.

    That news coupled with serious cramps as its that time of month meant I found myself coming back from lunch with a massive chocolate cookie (sorry PT) and a new pair of jeans (sorry bank account – seeing as a I may not have a regular income in a month should probably stop the unnecessary spending!)

    Also, loved the gallery! A wrap up each week similar to OMM or Best and Worst listing the best tweets for the week would be awesome for those not on twitter, ie me!
    Hope all the MM’ers are having a better hump day than me!

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    • merindakennedy

      Classic power play. If he does this more than a few times… cut him loose. I’ve had experiences with guys like this and it’s honestly exhausting.

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  5. Anon for this one

    First time commenting but I need to vent

    My bf was away all of last week driving which sucked but the worst part was we didn’t know how long it would be for – they would just tell him where he was going each morning. I caught the train and met him where he was stopped for the last night which was a really nice reunion (flowers and kisses on the platform)

    We have been living with my Dad since we got back from OS at the end of March while I have been at uni. I am struggling to get a job even though I have finished my degree. Now dad wants us out because his girlfriend doesn’t like us being here. No thank you from him for keeping the house clean, doing the groceries and the cooking btw….

    The thing that makes this worse is that this isn’t the first time he has let me down, he has never been there for me growing up and watched my mum abuse me and never said anything. I have been wanting to get away for ages but we are trying to save (like every member of Gen X&Y lol) I hate having anything to do with him and I don’t want him in my life (or my future childrens lives)

    But the absolute worst is when I was upset and angry and tried to tell my bf that this is why I don’t want him in my life, he was listening to my dads story and sticking up for him. I know it sounds petulant and immature but I just want someone to be on my side 100%. He says its not fair to cut him out and that I have to have him in my life

    So yeah, that combined with the fact that a uni degree only qualifies me to be a filing girl has made for a pretty awful start to the week.

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    • Emma in Melbourne-land

      That’s horrible, so sorry you’re going through this…

      Some advice on the job front: I know it sucks, but starting at the bottom is the way it goes when you get out of uni. I inished last year and took a great Public Service grad job, and yes. As well as my HR role, I do mail, and dishwashers, the low level stuff but that’s because I’m new. You have to start somewhere, so take a job and work your way up :) We’ll be the big bosses some day!

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    • Louisec

      It’s really awful. So now you need to focus on getting a job any job now so that you can move out of your fathers as quickly as possible. It doesn’t matter if you are filing, you’ll move up if you work hard and show enthusiasm. Degree or no degree we all have start somewhere and it’s the people who are prepared to do anything and everything that get promoted.

      You also need to sit your boyfriend down and tell him how seriously you need his support. It’s imperative. He has to stand by you one thousand per cent.

      Hopefully when you get a job you can see a councellor Relationships Australia are great and very afordable.

      Look forward to your wonderful future, it will happen xx

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    • Anna

      Sorry you’re having a rough trot.

      Maybe your bf doesn’t like conflict? I completely understand when you say you need someone on your side. You’re the only one who can decide if your dad should be in your life. Sometimes things can be worked out and sometimes they can’t. You don’t have to be ‘a good girl’ and keep up a relationship with your dad if it’s too harmful or stressful or destructive. I think counselling would help.

      Think positive. Visualise a time in the future. You’re not living with your dad. You have a fantastic job and someone else is doing your filing. Your boyfriend is home every night and he cooks your dinner, rubs your feet and gives you chocolate!!!

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  6. Cat

    I love Mamamia and would like to find out more about being a community moderator :D

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  7. Clare

    So my son recently turned 4 and I now know what they mean when people say boys have the “fuckin fours*. Didn’t have much trouble with the terrible 2s, but cripes the 4s are amazing. Mum’s of boys please tell me this will end.

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    • phoodietweets

      Clare! You made me laugh!

      I can’t wait to tell this to my sister. She has 2 boys, aged 2 and 3…….

      Actually I shouldn’t really laugh as I also have a son! :)

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    • kathl29

      I have a 7 year old girl and a 7 month old son. I was just saying to my husband this morning that my boy seems intent in proving to me just what a good child my daughter was when she was his age.

      Wow, Boys are so completely different from girls and it obviously doesn’t stop for a while!

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    • Petal

      Hi Clare, I found when both my children (boy and girl) turned 4 1/2, there was a real turning point in their maturity. I agree about the terrible 2′s – I never saw it. Now, 3 and 4, they were the real arsehole years.

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    • Janie

      Hi. I know exactly what you mean. My son was just like that but at 5 almost on his birthday he just became a little more mature and that has progressed now. He is 6 next week and it is a massive difference but the f-ing 4s were hard. Breathe and repeat “this too shall pass”.

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    • FiFiFoFum

      Hi Clare, boys have a rush of testosterone at 4 almost equivalent to puberty which brings out emotional, aggressive, hyper behaviour. If you’re interested read a book called Raising Boys. It passes I promise.

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  8. gee jen

    A once close friend had her baby this week. Finding it hard to be happy as i don’t know where our friendship is at. Also of all my friends who have had baby’s this last year following the death of my own precious child during pregnancy this is the one that has affected me the most. It feels irrational but I don’t know how to deal with/resolve it…

    Also <3 Aladdin clip

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  9. jenna

    Too many posts today! Can’t. Keep. Up.

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  10. phoodietweets

    1) Jam Jam (can I chime in on the nickname?!) I LOVEEEEE your writing style! Feel like we’re having a convo whenever I read your pieces! Thanks :)

    2) Mia’s pink satchel – COME TO ME. Just bought an amazing red one, but now that I’ve seen this, my red one seems so “June 2012″…..

    3) I cannot STOP COOKING! This is a GOOD THING! There were a few months there where I wasn’t updating my blog as I really just did not have a spare second….2 kids under 2 will do that to you…..but now that #2 is 9 months things are “getting easier” and I seem to have more time to do things other than “baby stuff”….. This afternoon I am making THE MOST DELICIOUS turkish gozleme for the blog and I CANNOT WAIT!

    4) Pick me! Pick me! MASSIVE MAMAMIA fan here and would love to help out as a community moderator!

    :)

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    • jamilarizvi

      You can call me Jam Jam if I can call you Phoo – deal? ;)

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      • phoodietweets

        bahahahahahaha!

        Deal……Jam Jam

        xxx
        Phoo

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    • marijana

      hi phoodie
      I am so glad you’re back with your blog. I though you stopped when there wasn’t anything for a while. LOVE your blog.
      (maybe I should’ve made a comment on your blog…)

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    • Adrienne17

      Phoodie, can you please put a link up to your blog? :)

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  11. Kez

    Have been following this blog religiously since it was run by just Mia and she posted a stack of posts to cover the birth of her youngest son. Back then I went by the name of TeddyBear and there were commenters who we no longer hear from (such as the real Sydney). I would LOVE to be a moderator and think I would do an awesome job!

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    • Anonymous

      I wonder how many people are still around from back then. Remember Wollywally (or however it was spelt)? I used to really enjoy reading her take on things. Mamamia is certainly a very different site now.
      I remember for a while people were offering to send in money to keep it going.

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      • anon

        Wollywolly was gorgeous but someone was really rude to her and she sadly left.

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        • Anna

          oh, that sucks :( ive always wondered where wolly wally went

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  12. Jane

    Would love to be one of your community moderators!

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  13. Haven Maven

    Hey MMers

    Jamila – re the dating thing. I read with interest the post about ‘should the guy pay’ and took note of some of the men who commented – and agree – that dating really is a bit of a minefield isnt it? I also blame all those bloody show offs who post youtube vision of their spectacular proposals etc and raise the bar for everyone!! As lovely as it would be for a guy to come up with something clever and thoughtful for a date, I guess it is sometimes up to us to outline our idea of clever and thoughful? The most delightful dates I’ve had in recent times involved being taken to a local market day and enjoying the food, different stalls and entertainment. Was a great way to get to know someone and there was no end of interesting things for us to take in and talk about. The other was I think a third date where we went to a beach and took a stroll just on sunset. I shit you not, but a person on horseback rode along the beach behind us and it was one of those ‘movie’ moments while we stood on the shallows and kissed.

    I love chivalry. I really hope it isnt dead. Open the car door for me and it makes me grin my face off.

    My cherubs have returned from their week with Dad and its nice to have them back. Sometimes I really do think its the break from each other that we need. Until the next wave or hormones and fighting…;p

    Spending a bit of time just on my own headspace and expectations I guess. Read this interesting study sent to me by a friend about how the brain chemicals are affected when a person is in love. Talked about – and I’m paraphrasing – how the levels of serotonin drop to the levels of someone with a OCD when a person falls in love. Sometimes it helps to understand it a bit better by reading something that doesn’t make me feel like an emotional basketcase when it comes to dating :)

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  14. Laurensmum

    Just wanted to thank everyone again for their comments last week about Lauren and her febrile convulsion. It really meant a lot.

    She is much better now. Still regaining energy but almost back to normal now. She doesn’t seem to remember what all the fuss was about! Our doctor wants her to have an EEG just to rule out epilepsy, given she was unconscious for over an hour, but hopefully it will end up all being okay.

    Thank you again :)

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    • beansbeansthemagicalfruit

      Ah, thank you for this update. Lauren popped in my mind on the weekend and I wondered how she was doing. I’m so happy to hear she’s getting better! xo

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  15. girly

    I’d be happy to be a moderator, too. :)

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  16. Petal

    Can’t see the ‘like’ button?

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  17. Sarah in Sydney

    Hey MM’ers, If I could be of assistance, I’d be thrilled to be a community moderator! Happy to help out any way I can. I am passionate about this site and this community and love that it is a diverse group of women and men coming together to share information, support one another and debate every topic under the sun! Sing out and I’m yours! Cheers, Sarah x

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  18. Bella

    AAAH! My favourite song :) )) Bad morning this morning, and this post cheered me up.

    Miss you!

    XX

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  19. Happymum

    Sounds interesting RE: moderators. Would like to know more about this MM.

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  20. CherHorowitz

    Thanks for that- Alladin has to be up there as one of my all time favourites, I’ll have to dig it out and watch it with my daughter!
    OMM: My little family seems to have had non stop sickness for the whole of Winter and it’s starting to wear me down. Just the usual colds but now I’ve completely lost my voice and it so frustrating!
    I would love to hear more about moderating for Mamamia. I’ve been reading this site since it very began and I LOVE it!

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  21. Petal

    Hi Mia
    I remember a few years ago you did a post along the lines of ‘Ask Mia’ where you would be on line and we could ask you any question we liked. Any chance of doing that again?

    I would LOVE to part of your community moderators! I’ve been following this site for long enough and feel I could bring that reader experience to the fore. I’m on everyday anyway, so feel free to contact me. PS I’m also at the ‘older’ (41) end of your demographic, so would possess the maturity to attend to this role. Shit, feel like I’m writing my resume!

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    • May!

      Yes! I loved those ‘Ask Mia’ videos

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    • Margs

      Yes! Loved the ask Mia.

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    • Sarah in Sydney

      I third the bring back “Ask Mia” campaign!

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  22. girly

    Holiday sorted. Phew. Partner decided he wasn’t coming as he can’t afford to. A little bit upset I’ll miss out on future SIL’s hen’s night and partner can’t come, but at least I’ll be at the wedding, which is important.

    Work has been hectic. I don’t eat breakfast because I am always rushing, and worked my butt off on one Up and Go until 3.30pm.

    I love chivalry. My boyfriend blew up at me the other day and I burst into tears. He came into the bedroom and sat with his arm around me, then led me into the kitchen and made me a cup of tea. :)

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  23. oddsocks

    Had the most terrifying experience last night. We were getting our 3 little boys ready for bed (baby, 2yr old and 3 yr old). Anyway, 2yr old was having a tantrum cause he wanted to wear 3yr olds buzz lightyear pjs. All 3 boys were in the bedroom and hubby and I were in the doorway negotiating with 3yr old. Two year old opened every single draw in the tallboy (6 draws) and starting to climb up them to get to the pj’s he wanted and the whole thing fell down with a massive crash. I couldn’t see where the baby was and was just screaming “where is Dylan? where is Dylan?”. I thought he was under the draws…. he wasn’t he was playing with a music toy about 10cm further from where they fell. I shudder to think what could have happened had they landed on him. I could barely sleep last night thinking of the ‘what ifs’. The older two were both distraught, my 3 yr old was crying saying “I thought Dylan was under there”. Oh, feel sick to my stomache about it.

    A question for bloggers out there….. I am using wordpress and I would like to link to a previous post in a current post (e.g. like how on MM posts they often say “you can read more about this issue here” and the ‘here’ is a link? (Oh, my lack of technnical knowledge is embarrassing!)

    http://nuttybynight.wordpress.com/

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    • Cinnamon

      Oh you poor thing, that must have been awful! Glad that your son was ok!

      As for wordpress all you do is type what you want like “here is the link” or whatever you want and highlight it then click on the link symbol and a box will show up with all of your previous posts. Just click on the one you want and also click on open in a new window/tab so when someone clicks on the link they won’t close the link they are on.

      Hope that makes sense and helps!

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  24. Natalia

    Super Flippant And Yet Important OMM: I am getting my hair cut this weekend. I’m so sick of the length but have no idea what to do with it. Cut it all off? Cut it shoulder-length? My usual trim-2-cm-off? Help meeeeee.

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    • simmy

      how about something along the lines of the nw portia de rossi cut? i think it would suit your face…

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    • Petal

      I reckon go for the shoulder length bob first off Nat. Then maybe for the next cut go chin length. I think shorter hair would really suit you! Good luck! x

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    • aggie

      DON’T CUT IT! If in doubt, add some colour, or a bit of layers, but I am still weeping over my decision to cut my hair. your hair looks pretty – don’t ruin a good thing Nat!

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    • Missy

      Nat I love your hair! Maybe shoulder length a la Lara Bingle (but brushed) would make you feel fresh?

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      • Natalia

        Thanks Missy – I do really like Lara’s hair! I think I’m just going to go to the hairdresser and tell them to do whatever they want…

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        • phoodietweets

          Nat!!!! DON’T do this!

          I am so not-precious about my hair…..never have been hung up on it…..

          I used to cut it myself / mum would / sister would…..

          If I did go to hairdresser I wasn’t that fussed, I just said, take some length off please etc

          Then the one time I said “do whatever you want!” I KID YOU NOT, the hairdresser must have envisioned a mushroom field or something as I ended up looking IDENTICAL to my favourite vegetable of the button variety! Literally button mushroom head!

          I didn’t say anything to her, just went home, bawled my eyes out for about 2 minutes, looked in the mirror and then pissed myself laughing!

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    • merindakennedy

      Admittedly Dianna Agron from Glee is an uber babe and looks good all the bloody time….. But I still think this style might suit?

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    • MJ

      change the colour a bit and get a sweeping fringe. Or a side fringe. Then you can keep the length and still have a change. Then next time if you’re keep to chop it off you can

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  25. Jess88

    OMM: babies. Babies? Do I want to have babies one day? Does my partner? We’ve been together 4 years and he has said previously that he’s not sure he wants kids either. He’s 36 and I’m 24. I’m worried that I may be running out of time to make it happen if it is something I want. Will I be upset on my deathbed if I’d never had children? Yes I would. But I can’t see myself ever making the decision to get pregnant. Argh! It’s such a life changing thing. MMers, can anyone share experiences on when and how they made the decision to become parents?

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    • missmuffin

      Hi Jess88,

      I’m also 24 and recently married, we have been together for over 6 years. I always say I’m really lucky to have met a man who also wants kids and wants them now, like me. It really is a life changing decision. We would like to wait until we are in a better financial position, but I just knew that it wasn’t something I was willing to compromise and we have JUST started trying! We will work everything else around having kids. Everyone I have spoken to, people who had kids in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, have all said to just go for it, don’t wait. So we aren’t. If it is something that you think you cannot live without, then a really big discussion is in order with your partner. Good luck with it! xx

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      • Jess88

        Thanks Missmuffin!
        All the best with your baby making venture!
        xx

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    • mandajane

      Totally know where your coming from… substitute 4 years for 6 and that is exactly where I am at the moment too. It’s hard as some days it feels like everyone else has everything all together except us.

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  26. Edie-Louise

    Gah! Your offices always look so colourful and fun. And all those pictures of shoes! I think I want all of them! Haha

    I don’t have a worst for this week but do have two bests!
    My best best for this was receiving my Shodan (first degree black belt) in Karate! I still can’t believe it. It’s really made me a lot more confidant in my abilities.
    My second best was that I got a chance to teach a fitness class at work, I’m usually just a karate instructor, I had so much fun and everyone who participated gave me some really good feed back at the end. However, I am so worn out today haha.

    OMM: Two things, again!
    I too have been thinking about romance, I’ve decided that I need some time become more happy with myself before looking for a partner. I feel I need to figure out what and what makes me happy.
    The second thing on my mind is my birthday on Saturday, I’m turning 20 and I actually had a mini freak out about what I want to do with my life, with all these “tick tock goes your body clock” reminders I keep wondering how on earth I’m supposed to fit in finishing Uni, travel, finding a job, finding a partner AND having children (IF I decide to have them). Sigh…

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    • Lolly

      Lol, I understand where you are coming from. I feel so rushed too to fit stuff in but I’m 28! Done the uni, got the guy, bought the house and lived/worked overseas but I still feel time is running out to fit more travel in before I hit 30 and have to start thinking about kids. We have loads of trips planned for the next 2 or 3 years, it’s all a bit overwhelming. Pity about biological clocks, I’d be happy to wait another 5-10 years before having kids if it weren’t for the whole age thing. 30 seemed like a long time away when I was 25…

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  27. Sarah in Sydney

    I love a bit of romance! My guy isn’t so much a romantic per se but he does still do wonderful things to surprise me. He is thoughtful and kind and generous. We’ve been together for almost 15 years so I haven’t been on a first date in a very long time, but Jam Jam (too cute not to call you that!) I get why you want a bit of effort!

    OMM when will this dreaded winter lurgy that has had me bed bound for the last four days and counting be vanquished? I haven’t felt this horrendous for a long time! Two of the kids have had it too so it has been a shitty way to spend the school holidays :( Thankfully my mum and hubby have been amazing, hubby cancelled a work trip to Perth knowing I couldn’t take care of the boys in this condition and my mum has stepped up the rest of the time. new Sydney friends have also helped out too and for that I am so thankful.

    Speaking of Sydney, my sadness at leaving Adelaide has finally started to lift and Sydney is growing on me! I think I might actually grow to love tihis city!

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    • jamilarizvi

      The “Jam Jam” thing appears to be an unstoppable force, Sarah in Sydney! Xx

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      • Sarah in Sydney

        I felt very cheeky calling you that, seemed way too familiar but I am a huge fan of nicknames and that one was just too gorgeous to pass up! I’m a Sar or a Sar Bear and much prefer it that way!

        Nicknames rule!

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  28. missmuffin

    Sorry, this one’s long.

    1. My mother-in-law is driving me nuts. BA-NA-NAS. CAH-RAY-ZEE. You get the point.

    We are living with her at the moment and paying weekly board, but we are buying most of the groceries – which is fine because we seem to be doing most of the cooking.

    Problem is, whenever she DOES cook, she expects us to clean up the kitchen after her. Now, we don’t mind doing this if she has cooked for all of us, but the main problem is that it is like she expects us to clean up after her ALL THE TIME! Or she just leaves the kitchen in a mess for over a day!

    For example, last night she cooked a slice before going out with her boyfriend and left the kitchen in a shambles, even though she knew I was cooking a roast chook for dinner. So we had to clean up after her before we could start cooking. Then we cleaned up everything after we had finished dinner, as you would. Yet they came home, ate their slice and left their dishes all over the kitchen.

    There are dishes still in the sink, boards with crumbs on it still on the bench, napkins on the table, wine glasses ON TOP of the dishwasher and so on. It is now after midday the next day and she has had all morning to clean it up but has now left for work.

    We know that if we bring it up she will get defensive and sulky and just be absolute hell to live with, but we have been putting up with this for so many months now that something has to be done. We are sick of cleaning up after her or putting up with her mess, especially when we always leave the kitchen in a presentable, useable state for the next person. We just don’t know what to do. The harder part is that is it more difficult for me to say anything, it really needs to be my husband, one on one, so she doesn’t feel like we are ganging up on her.

    Just another related rant: We buy the 200g piece of parmigiano-reggiano, the really expensive parmesan cheese for adding to pastas etc. Well last night, for the third time, her and her boyfriend have used a good 150g of it in one go on their stupid slice. Obviously we live together, so groceries are groceries and we collectively use them, but if you are using THAT much of something really expensive that we have bought….ffs, please replace it. (Related to this is her extremely stingy grocery buying behaviour due to the divorce that still hasn’t been settled 2.5 years later…)

    2. *TOO MUCH INFORMATION WARNING* Husband and I are trying for a baby…yay! I went off the pill in Dec and didn’t get my period until end of March. I’ve since had a 28 day cycle followed by a 40 day cycle, and I’m now on day 37. But I had some spotting yesterday. We only had unprotected sex three times in the last 10 days, but the first two times he withdrew before the finish (we weren’t quite ready to start trying but had been waiting a while!). The one time we did actually try was only two days ago. I just figured that I would be at the end of my cycle and couldn’t really get pregnant yet, but I don’t usually get spotting so just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on why? I was thinking that maybe my period is just trying to come through? I’m lost…

    Thanks for the rant about everything…Any advice appreciated! x

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    • Cait

      My advice (seeing as you asked) is:
      1. Move out? if its an option for you anyway. You didnt say why you are living with her etc, but i dont think you are going to have any luck in changing her bad habits/lifestyle. She might be the type to eat everything and leave a mess, and I’d wager thats how she would plan on staying. If you cant coexist within her house, i would be looking at alternative accomodation. Im saying this as someone who would never EVER live with my MIL for the same reasons.

      2. Take it easy, and if you still arent sure (about what your body is trying to do) in a week, take a pregnancy test to make sure either way. Going on/off contraceptives can make your body do funky things, but its better to know for sure using the tests available at the chemist. if you want to be extra sure, see your GP.

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      • missmuffin

        Thanks Cait! We are living with her because we are saving to buy a house. We have the option to move in with my parents for a while, but where we are now is a much better location for the time being. We had planned on moving out months ago, but of course, plans keep changing and it is hard to justify renting when we are saving and trying to pay off our debt.

        I’m doing my PhD too, so we aren’t both on full-time incomes which makes it a slower process. I agree that we probably won’t be able to change her behaviour. That is why we haven’t brought it up with her yet…it’s just at a point now where we will either have to talk to her about it and hope that she understands and will make more of an effort, or yes, move on and out!

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    • anon

      You need to get out of her house and get your own place Miss Muffin!

      Don’t want to be annoying, but if you are still in your MIL’s house when you get pregnant, what will you do when the baby arrives?

      I know it’s simple advice, but would solve your dilemma!

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      • missmuffin

        Hi anon,

        Oh we will be way out of there by the time the baby is born! She is planning on selling the house at some point this year so we will have to make some decisions then anyway. As I said to Cait above, we have the option to live with my parents for a while and they are open to the possibility of living with a newborn. They have been really supportive. It is also possible that they will move in with my step-grandpa for a while is he takes a turn for the worst, and they have said that we could rent from them for a while if that was the case.

        We get asked a lot about why we are trying for kids when we haven’t got our own place yet, but as I said to Jess88 above too, it is just something that we were never willing to compromise. We will work the rest of our lives around kids, not the other way around.

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    • Sarah in Sydney

      The mother in law situation is tricky, seems like a bit of a no win situation! Hopefully someone has some helpful advice.

      With regard to trying for a baby, I cant reccomend Toni Weschlers, “Taking Charge of your Fertility” highly enough, it is a must read for all women, even those who are actively not trying to get pregnant! I had no idea how my reproductive system and menstrual cycle actually worked until I read this and I would have said I was pretty informed!

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      • missmuffin

        Thanks Sarah, I’ve had a look at the website and am feeling enlightened already! :)

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    • Missy

      Missmuffin, as someone who has lived with her IL’s as well, my advice to you is GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. RUN, DON’T WALK.
      Your relationships will be better for it. (and your sanity.)

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    • girly

      I am the same, Miss Muffin. Except it is my FIL who is the annoying one. He doesn’t leave the kitchen a mess, but my MIL only cleans the floor every few months!! We are in no financial state to move out yet, but I wish every day I could. Maybe get a bar fridge for the bedroom with a lock? I’d LOVE that. Then you can stash all your own special food in there. :)

      As for the kitchen thing, I don’t know. Your husband might need to talk to her about that, as you said….

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      • missmuffin

        Hahaha, YES! We have mentioned the possibility of a bar fridge a few times…. :)

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    • Kathy W

      Hey Miss M – tough one with your MIL. Don’t move out – it seems like the situation is working in terms of finances and your study. All I can suggest is try and live with the situation as it is. I know that its driving you ba-na-nas :) but no live-in in law situation is every fine and dandy at the best of times.

      Do you know if she was alwasy this messy before you moved in? If not, then maybe a bit of light-hearted humour might work ‘hey ‘mum’ can I have a bit of a hand with the kitchen – it seems our last galley slave resigned’. My husband and I lived with my parents before we bought a house – and that was awful for him as my dad wasn’t the most diplomatic of men – but it was worth it – we saved a fortune.
      Try and go out – even if it’s just to the corner pub – so you can both vent. Or ring a friend and vent. Venting is important!

      Oh – hide the cheese!! Put your cheese in some kind of opaque container and bury it up the back of the fridge behind the stuff that never gets used (like the Christmas cranberry sauce that’s still there in July).

      Good luck. It’ll be worth it in the long run.

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      • missmuffin

        Thanks Kathy W,

        Using humour is a good idea, as long as it comes across the right way! I’ll certainly discuss it with the hubby.

        She has gotten a lot messier and lazier over the last year or two and part of the reason why I think that is, is because we do most of the cleaning up so we are potentially reinforcing her behaviour.

        Yes, we will definitely be hiding the cheese from now on. We had done so previously but then had to use it and she saw it, so it was like ‘what’s the point now?’ haha.

        But thanks for your comment, it’s nice to know others have been in similar situations and understand the benefits of being able to save. It’s always a compromise. xx

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    • Robyn

      I know they get a bit of a bad feedback, but are you using an app for tracking your fertility?! I used the iPhone app P Tracker and it helped me to pinpoint the exact days I was fertile, which was so helpful because I had either 20 days or 50 day cycles, they were all over the shop! Anyway, I was able to fall pregnant twice using it, both times in the first month of trying (one of which ended up being a successful pregnancy). Just a thought – good luck! x

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      • Bec

        Good luck with the living situation!

        Regarding your cycle – perhaps the spotting was an implantation bleed?

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  29. Rach the Muso

    OMM this week I have been reading the http://refashionista.net/ blog and getting inspired! If you haven’t seen it, this girl rescues sad clothes from Goodwill, etc, and turns them into something wearable, one outfit per day for a year, in lieu of buying new clothes.

    I bought a beautiful silk top from Goodwill for $3 a little while ago, and when I washed it, it fell apart under the arms, but now after reading this I have decided to try to turn it into a singlet top…wish me luck! Will let you know on Friday how I went!

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    • Cinnamon

      Just had a quick look at the blog… looks interesting but not something I could do, I’m so not that way inclined lol. The only thing I can sew is a button lol. Good luck with it!

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  30. Lolly

    I’m making a wedding cake this week – full on!

    I don’t have an issue with women wanting some dates that are out of the norm (although I didn’t mind the dinner and movie dates either) as long as they are willing to reciprocate with special dates and ideas themselves. Men like to be made to feel special too!

    As for carrying my bags and stuff, unless something is physically too heavy for me to carry then I get uncomfortable with partner carrying *my* stuff. I’m not sure why, but I never like to feel that I am imposing on people and I’m big on contributing equally. We open doors for each other (when he opens one for me he likes to gesture grandly and call me ‘milady’ haha). I guess I just equate that sort of stuff with days gone by when things were different for women. I don’t see someone opening my car door for me as romantic I just find it odd. No offence to men who do like to do this stuff for their ladies though, to each their own :-)

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    • Edie-Louise

      I know exactly what you mean! I have a male friend who, very kindly, always tries to help me carry things or do things, I have to remind him that if I need his help I will ask for it in the mean time I’m find doing things on my own.
      I know some women like it when men open doors for them but like you I find it somewhat bizzarre! I guess they’re just trying to be helpful but I’m really quite capable of doing it myself haha

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  31. IcedVoVo

    OMG — that Aladdin clip has made my day!

    Love your work, Jamilla!!!!!!!

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  32. mandi

    OMM: My 18 year old brother just returned from a two week trip to Cambodia where he was helping a school over there. I am just so proud of him and his friends for giving up two weeks of their school holidays, right before they sit their HSC trials to go make a difference in children’s lives. Whilst their peers have been drinking and partying these holidays they were working from 7am to 6pm every day at the schools and in the fields.

    I’m also very proud of the maturity he has. Even at 26 I still struggle with confronting images I see in the media of how people live in these countries. Yet he has been there, seen it all first hand and is able to share his stories and speak with such a high level of concern and maturity. Putting on my grandma hat here, but it really does give me hope for the future.

    And whilst I am speaking about 18 year olds, it scares me that a night out with your friends could end in such a tragedy like the one the Kelly family are facing. It makes me sick to think that there are people out there who are so gutless and inhumane that they would attack an innocent kid like Thomas totally unprovoked. It is stories like this that make me scared for the world that my future kids will grow up in.

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  33. Lulu

    For women who really really really like grand romantic gestures, I have three words:

    Tom Cruise. Couch-jumping.

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    • Dee of Adelaide

      That made me actually laugh out loud.

      The bigger the gesture, the bigger the nutter it would seem!

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    • Cold

      I can’t see the like button. Lulu, love your work!!

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  34. Profiterole

    My best date was a few dates into my current, awesome relationship. He made sandwiches and brought along a big bottle of ice (middle of summer), and we went on a bike ride, me riding the bike he had just given me.
    The ice came in handy when I fell off my bike, twice. Once from nearly riding into the Yarra. It was hilarious. Then we went back to his place and played Playstation and listened to records. One of the best days of my life!

    OMM: is starting uni soon, pretty excited! And though it seems silly, my boyfriend and I moving into the master bedroom of our sharehouse soon, we’re in the study now. I will have a WARDROBE! Everything seems to be slotting into place :-)

    Hope everyone’s having a good week!

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  35. Kirsti

    I hear what you are saying about the romance thing Jamila, however there is a flipside to this as I am the wierd girl who can’t cope with romance, I get all uncomfortable and feel slightly ill when put in situations that are too romantic or mushy. I can’t even watch girly films as i just don’t get it.

    This is unfortunate as I am one of the lucky ones who has a fantastic husband who is romantic and thoughtful and likes to take me on romantic evenings and say romantic loving things to me. Me on the other hand, can’t do any of that. My brain just doesn’t think that way and I am not one for constantly saying mushy things to him.

    He even went to great lengths of romanticism when he planned how he would propose to me. I had absolutely no clue, and he arranged for a car to pick me up and take me to a secret destination (under the harbour bridge) where he had a whole candlelit picnic waiting for me with champagne and my favourite thai food awaiting us. I was beyond surprised and shocked and how much planning he had put into it all and how lovely it was. Very Romantic and of course me very uncomfortable. Mind you I said yes and we have been married a whole year now and the romance has definitely not died even though I am hopeless.

    Hang in there, there really are romantic blokes out there :)

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  36. Yeah!

    Jamila, I think you’re in the wrong country for being taken out on a decent date.

    Australian men don’t understand the concept of dating. (I know that’s a broad generalisation, but in my vast experience, it’s true.) For all Australians dump on Americans, they know how to take a woman out!

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  37. Anonymous

    Have just found a mini mini hard lump on one of my breasts :S
    Just booked a dr appointment to check it out!

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    • becsparrow

      I’m sending you good thoughts. xxx

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    • missmuffin

      Thinking of you. Good luck! And good on you for checking! xox

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    • Edie-Louise

      Good on you for keeping an eye on your breast health! I hope everything is ok! :) xx

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      • Anonymous

        Thanks ladies. Got my appointment at 3pm. Should be nothing so fingers crossed!

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  38. Kathy W

    Hellooooo everyone!
    Bit sad this week – I got bullied on this site. Yep – a bunch of mean girls went for my throat because I had the temerity to suggest (cringing) that romance doesn’t last in a relationship. I was called ‘rude’ and ‘depressing’ and someone suggested my own relationships sucked and I sucked too!

    And someone else snapped at my heels about me being a teacher and having it easy. Sigh – am SO over that old argument.

    I don’t like being bullied. It’s so high school. I dare have an opinion that conflicts with others and I’m declared a miserable sod!

    I haven’t even gone back to check the abortion post – god forbid I’ve probably been flogged there too.

    Seems like a bit of ‘groupthink’ goes on in some posts and if you disagree – the sky falls.

    Oh well…(shrug)

    Anway, am missing my sons who are in Bali, my nephews are here with me playing PS2, the sky is blue and the ocean sparkles out my window. Time to be happy!

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    • Yeah!

      I don’t mean to ‘go for your throat’ again, but it disappoints me that you really can’t see where you went wrong. It wasn’t what you said, it was how you said it.

      If it makes you feel better, anyone who’s spent a bit of time commenting on this site has been torn to shreds at least once. It can be a bit unpleasant, but I think it’s worth it to have an extremely honest discussion on a forum where people are free post anonymously.

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      • Kathy W

        AAAGGGGHHHH!
        Exactly what I’m talking about – ‘you really can’t see where you went wrong’….YOU WENT WRONG.

        You’re calling me wrong. That’s the type of bullying I’m talking about. How am I wrong? So what if the way I expressed myself wasn’t to your liking. Who made you judge and jury of the right and wrong way to express an OPINION?

        Jeez – my dinner party manners are going all wobbly right now!

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        • Yeah!

          I’m sorry, Kate W, but you really don’t seem to get it. I’m not having a go at you. I just think it’s a bit sad.

          I don’t understand why you think you can get onto a forum like this and say what you said and not expect people to react. That’s the way it is – not just for you but for everyone. We all take that risk when we make a comment. See, you’re sparring with ME at the moment and I’m not getting all sooky about it.

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          • Jess

            Yeah, you just don’t know when to give it a rest. This isn’t a right or wrong situation, the question wasn’t “what is 2+2″ where there is only one correct answer.
            I agree more with Kathy W on the subject than you but that doesn’t mean I am going to patronise you by telling you how sad you are and how you just don’t get it.

            It’s a highly subjective area where different people will have different opinions depending on their age, life experience, personality etc. The way you’ve responded to Kathy’s comments has been so immature and over the top. I guess I just fail to see why you would get so aggressive about such a benign subject.

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        • vanessayoung

          Kathy W, you were right about romance in relationships, I ought to have said so at the time. I have been married for over 30 years and I think romance is what you have at the beginning: that “I must have you NOW” feeling and telling your partner you love them 40 times a day. But you cannot live forever like that. Love changes, that doesn’t mean it goes wrong, or disappears. Your partner becomes your best friend, that person you know better and who knows you better than anyone. As you face the difficulties of life and bring up your family, if you have one, you learn priorities, sometimes you are more important or your partners needs are paramount, sometimes it is one child who needs all of everyone’s attention, sometimes another child, sometimes the dog!
          I think people mistake these changes for problems and go out looking for a new Prince Charming (or Princess Charming). If you asked me if I love my husband, I would say of course and admit that he still makes me feel weak at the knees at times, but he also seriously annoys me (why can’t men clean the sink after they shave!) at times, as I do him.

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      • Essie

        Yeah, you may think Kathy was wrong, but that doesn’t make it true. These topics are subjective and your way of disagreeing with her was overly antagonistic.
        I wouldn’t call it bullying, but I would ask yourself if you could possibly disagree in a manner that is more mature and less aggressive.

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      • Anonymous

        Actually, I don’t think there was anything wrong with what Kathy W said on the post.

        I think your reply and the other replies on there were quite harsh and Kathy is justified in feeling bullied.

        You are commenting on here that Kathy just “doesn’t get it” with what you are trying to say – what about you, though? I’m telling you now that I think your reply to Kathy yesterday in Michelle’s article was harsh and a bit mean. Do you accept that? Do you look back and think that your comments were unnecessarily harsh if someone points it out?

        Because if you don’t, then you’re doing the exact same thing you’re accusing Kathy of.

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    • jamilarizvi

      Oh Kathy

      I’m so sorry you when through this. On the whole, our commenters here at MM are respectful and kind and it’s extremely rare that this sort of thing happens. If it does ever happen again, please click the ‘alert moderator’ button, which will mean that we get to it as fast as we possibly can.

      Hope your sons hurry home and I’m glad your gorgeous view is cheering you up.

      Jamila x

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      • Sue

        Oh come on Jamila, you can’t be serious in saying that this sort of thing happens “extremely rare” on this site. I have been reading mm for years now and this happens on a very regular basis hence why I don’t often comment here. I’ve also seen a lot of people say on Twitter that this is the main reason they stopped visiting mm.

        In relation to anonymous’ comment below, I was wondering what happened to all the regulars around here. And I am not talking about one or two peope, it’s like they all left. What happened?

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        • jamilarizvi

          Hi there Sue.

          I do think that compared to a lot of other websites, the comments on MM are generally thoughtful and respectful. But in my book if the sort of thing that happened to Kathy happens once, then it’s one time too many.

          The team really wants everyone who visits the site to feel comfortable making their opinions heard. We’re currently recruiting some community moderators and I think that will be a really important part of keeping the vibe of the site friendly.

          Cheers, Jamila

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      • Sydgel

        lf you have a look at the posts she wasn’t ganged up on, a couple of harsh comments but not too bad and a couple of supporters for her too.

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    • Anonymous

      Hence why there has been a growing exodus of regular members from this site!

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    • zikka

      totally agree about the group think!

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    • Sydgel

      Kathy I just went back and looked at your comment & the others. Some were a little harsh but I don’t think anyone was ganging up on you and I’m sorry you felt that way.

      I think you were a little condescending to the author, Michelle. By asking what she had to offer – in the manner you said it. Of course the author has heaps to offer a man, that was obvious in the article. And also telling her that relationships aren’t all happy 24/7 etc. I’m sure the author fully knows this, just because you’re single doesn’t mean you don’t have a reality check on relationships.

      Anyway, everyone has differing opinions based on their experiences. Ladybug supported you and a couple of others replied nicely but disagreed with you.

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  39. Jenna

    Tech minded people please : how do you make a hyperlink in a sentence without typing www in front of it. Eg. If you want to read more you can go *here* and the word here would be the link.
    Thank you!

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    • alyssakt

      Highlight the word and right click – Hyperlink should be one of the options.
      Or are you on a web page? Then the options are at the top and the icon looks a bit like the infinity symbol.
      (Not really a techy but I hope that helps) :)

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    • Emmy

      Hey Jenna, it depends where you are writing the text. Usually there will be a set of icons above the text box, one of which will be “insert link” – you then highlight the word (i.e. “click here”) and it will bring up a box where you type in the web address (or “URL”).

      If you are writing someting on Mamamia, you would need to use HTML (sounds scary, but is super easy – it’s really basic computer code) The HTML for creating a link looks like this {a href=”url”>Link text</a}. Now in this case I've used brackets { } so that you can see how it looks (or else it would code in a link). To make it work, you need to use the arrows < >

      i.e. Click Here for the homepage!

      Gah. Hope this makes sense. Good luck!!

      Forgot to add: if you are in Word, then Alyssa is right – just right click and there will be an option to add a hyperlink. You can only use the HTML on a webpage like MamaMia :)

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    • becauseimthemum

      Yes, I’d like to know too please!

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  40. katehunter

    I’m with Jamila. I like a man with a plan. Best first date was with the fella who picked me up after work and had organised tickets for the Outdoor Cinema – The English Patient. Married him a year later.

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  41. iamevilcupcake

    Hello peeps! Don’t you just love Wednesdays?

    I had a FAB dinner last night with a dear dear friend. Caught up on each other’s lives, had a great meal and I just loved it. I miss her muchly. Hopefully next dinner we have will be in her state!

    Saw my niece and nephew on Sunday. First thing out of my nieces mouth? “Didi, can I come and live with you forever?” That would be a hell yes! I seriously love that kid. She’s awesome. And when she puts her head on my shoulder and tells me she loves me, I turn into a pile of goo.

    Really enjoying writing my blog again. I’ve missed it. Aiming for a blog post each weekday. So far so good! Please come visit, and comment too :)

    http://iamevilcupcakeblog.wordpress.com/

    I’m completely booked up each weekend until August. I like being busy. But I’m sleepy, so thankfully I get to sleep in a little.

    Hope all is well with everyone! Mwah!

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  42. Brit

    Jamila, I hear ya! Last week a guy asked me on a date. I said yes, and he followed it up with a text that read “So what should we do?”

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    • Haven Maven

      I think what I have sussed from the ‘the guy should pay’ post and the following comments by men and women – its a pretty no-win situation no matter whose side of the fence. Why don’t you text back something you’d enjoy – like – ‘how about a stroll through a market’ or ‘do you like *insert whatever exhibiton you’d like to see*’ or ‘surprise me’ even. I think a lot of guys need the dots put closer together….

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  43. thelittlemissus

    2 positive pregnancy tests this morning.

    Off to the doctor to confirm this afternoon. Bit excited!

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  44. anon2

    I noticed you have edited your story…. So when you both saw the homeless man,you didn’t instantly shake your heads’ and say “sorry mate”? That’s a relief , especially when you found out he wasn’t asking for your loose change anyway.

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    • jamilarizvi

      Hey anon.

      I think how we react to people asking for money on the street is a whole post in itself! I edited it because I didn’t want readers to think they had to engage on that debate too, that’s not what the post was about.

      But you’re right. We all react differently and I’ve got to say, working in the city, I usually say ‘yes’ the first time and ‘sorry’ after that.

      I’ve never really thought about why I do that! I should be better…

      You’ve given me some food for thought :-)

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      • alyssakt

        I think we’re worried if we get our wallets out people will rob us…
        Or spend the money on booze and not food.
        Just typical stereotypes.
        Very sad, really…

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        • Louisec

          I really dont’ think the beggars and homeless are likely robbers – people who rob you don’t ask you for money, they just rob you.

          I always give $5 or $10 it’s a couple of coffees or a magazine to me, not much at all.

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    • PennyLane

      Oh come on! I don’t think there’s anybody who has given money to a homeless person EVERY SINGLE TIME they have been approached.

      You know what upsets me about this site? People like you trying to bait the MM team. Enough already.

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      • anon2

        no that’s true, you can’t give to every single homeless person you encounter. There’s too many. I was commenting on those people who automatically shake their heads, EVERY time. nobody’s baiting the mm team either, and as you can see Jamilla is perfectly able to stand on her own two feet and respond to questions .

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      • Anonymous

        I give money everytime someone asks, excepting the rare occasions when I have literally have no cash on me. I have money to give, so why would I say no?

        I get that not everyone has a spare few dollars to give, but people who act like it’s just too much hassle to stop for a second, open their wallet and hand over a few coins or pretend they can’t spare $2 of loose change when they’ve just blown $30 on a takeaway lunch really annoy me. Also people who get all judgy about how their loose change is spent. If I had no home, if I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from and I had to sleep in a park or on the street or go from shelter to shelter trying to find a place to stay warm I’d be turning to alcohol and drugs too.

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        • Anonymous

          So don’t say no, say yes. But understand it’s everyone else’s prerogative to make the choice for themselves about whether they say no. You make the money, you decide how to spend it. It’s got nothing to do with the “hassle” of stopping or whether I can spare $2 after buying lunch – the fact is, I’m not obligated to give $2 to anyone or everyone who asks.

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          • anon2

            since we’ve come full circle, we’ll leave it at that. and as most homeless people will say… ” have a nice day” .

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  45. Lucy Ormonde

    Why don’t magic carpets exist in real life? Sigh.

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    • mandi

      I wish I was still young and innocent, believing that one day some boy would take me on a magic carpet ride.

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  46. Holly

    I know I’m shallow but really the only thing OMM this week is the season finale of Offspring! Apart from wondering what I’ll do with my Wednesday nights once it’s finished :(

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    • thelittlemissus

      Feeling ya sister! Without Patricks beautiful face and Ninas innocent neuroticism what will become of my wednesdays?

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    • Dolly Levi

      You can download it now on iTunes for $3.49 !
      I couldn’t wait….!

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  47. J

    OMM: I am sorry to say this, but I dont feel the warmth on this site I once did when Lana and Rick etc were here. The welcoming attitude, the acceptance of different opinions. I feel like if you say something the editor simply doesn’t like, it’s just deleted – even if it is not abusive etc. I feel like there’s now a wall between reader and writers, which is really not good at all. The articles have lost their warmth too – it’s often like we’re being set up to be pitted against one another. Perhaps it’s the political background? Not sure. I’ve just found myself not checking in here as much as I used to.

    Anyway, after years on this site, I won’t be returning.

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    • Anne

      Really? I totally disagree. The site is a bit more celebrity than it used to be, which annoys me but otherwise it is as good as ever. I am lovin’ it.

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      • Tess

        If you hate it then maybe stop complaining and leave? I’m so sick of all the MM negativity. Honestly. It’s so annoying.

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        • LellaK

          Thats the negativity i hate, Tess – J is giving her opinion (without snark,n the open post) and you tell her to leave. Sites like this only get better when the readers who bring the traffic say what they feel and what they want. I agree with her with some of it but maybe becuase i was a Rick fan and miss daily bites…

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          • Sweets

            That was what I was going to say but I couldn’t think of a nice way of saying it! thanks :D

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          • Edie-Louise

            I agree with everything you said.
            And I miss Rick’s posts too, thank god for twitter! Haha:)

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        • Sharon

          I think it’s completely appropriate to provide feedback in the best way we know how before actually deserting a site that has been part of our lives for a long time.

          I’ve discovered it’s not as easy to ‘break up’ with Mamamia as I hoped it would be. I’ve tried to leave a few times, but I keep coming back. But every time I do I get disappointed all over again by the way people are SO ready to jump down each others’ throats with rude, unhelpful comments. And as much as the Mamamia crew say ‘we’re all friends here’, and ‘it doesn’t happen often’ and ‘we can’t control the comments unless they are offensive’, I feel they do need to take some responsibility because their own posts appear to have become more and more about ‘fanning the flames’ of debate.

          And this is not just the isolated opinion of one or 2 people… many people have ‘liked’ J’s comment… and they’re just the ones that have stuck around long enough to read this post. But I do understand that at the end of the day the handful of ‘old timers’ who are disenchanted doesn’t matter so long as they have new fans who like the more confrontational style of the site.

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          • Vanessa Young

            Um, I read last year that the site gets about 50,000 readers a day. Let’s keep things in perspective.

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            • vanessayoung

              Another Vanessa Young, :0

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            • Sharon

              Um… isn’t that what I said? That I understand they won’t be particularly concerned about a handful of disenchanted voices?! Geez.

              But thanks for proving my point.

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      • peta

        mmm that’s why it sucks – celebrity.

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    • Jenna

      I still like it and visit every day but it’s probably a bit more “NW mag” than “Who mag”. Less “guess who’s pregnant” and more cheat sheets and world stories please!

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      • Fiona Jackson

        I like the celeb stuff. But I’d also like some more cheat sheets to balance it out!! Ha ha!

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      • Mia

        More cheat sheets on their way!

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      • Missy

        best metaphor ever.

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    • becsparrow

      Hi J!

      I’m really sorry to hear that you feel that way. Long before I started work with Mamamia in 2011, I was reading it (I think as early as 2008) and I would hate to think we’d lost you.

      From our end, nothing has changed and Mia, Nat, Lucy, Jam and I are working harder than ever behind the scenes to bring an even greater diversity of opinions and issues to the site!

      I’m saddened to hear you say that you don’t feel the warmth anymore! We’re all still here and sending you a bear hug ;)

      As for Jamila’s political background … if anything it’s a major drawcard for us. She brings a knowledge with her about the political landscape that is second to none. And she’s also passionate about global women’s issues (it was Jamila who pushed to run that confronting piece about the Afghani woman who was executed for adultery and many readers asked us to publish more stories like that).

      Now … a number of readers have asked about disappearing comments recently — let me tell you, our spam filter has gone into over-drive and has been deleting comments (including mine!). We’re working on fixing it.

      J — I hope you continue to read Mamamia! And if you have some ideas for posts — let us know! We’re always open to ideas!

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      • Natalia

        Just so you all know, I have been sitting at my computer refreshing the spam filter and approving comments! And if anyone has any problems – email me at nat@mamamia.com.au. xxx

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        • self-appointed mediator

          I’ll flick you an email, Nat – just had one disappear where I was defending someone from bullying. Was a bummer to see it disappear.

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          • Natalia

            Hey there, the original bullying comment was deleted – hence why yours disappeared! I have emailed you with more details x

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          • alyssakt

            Thank you, self-appointed mediator, I responded to your comment before the bullying comment being deleted meant ours were deleted too.
            I hope you received it to your email?
            Either way, I’m grateful for your support.
            (But I don’t respond directly to the troll, and recommend others avoid it also)
            :)

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    • Fiona Jackson

      Okaayyyy …. I’m clearly the only person eating up the Tom/Kat stories! LOL! I love it.

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    • Mia

      Hey Guys – and J,
      Jamila has only been here a couple of weeks and it would be wrong to over-estimate any effect she has had on content yet. I have been the editor of MM since it began and I still am.
      Mamamia remains very much under my editorial direction so to try and pinpoint any individual for the good or the bad would be unfair and innacurate. It’s very much a group effort.
      That said, I hired Jamila to join us because she’s smart, funny, real and totally switched on – just like Lucy, Nat and Bec. And just like our readers.
      I love what she’s bringing to our editorial mix. And wait til you see what’s to come.
      Yes, the site will always evolve and days and weeks will have different energies depending on what’s around and what we choose to post, how we mix it up and how commenters react.
      Every day we examine our numbers from the day before to see what posts resonated – in comments, page views and social media shares – and we take learnings from that. Because that’s how we know what you, our audience are interested in and engaging with.
      As for some of the fiestiness, as the site grows we have realised we need to recruit some volunteer community moderators to help keep that friendly vibe that we’ve always worked so hard to maintain.
      If you’re interested – and spend a lot of time on the site – let us know in a comment on this post.
      Thanks for the feedback though, it’s always appreciated.
      M

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      • Butterfly

        I would love to help out as a volunteer moderator. I spend lots of time on the site and have done since the beginning :)

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      • Charlotte

        I would be interested in a community moderator role Mia.

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      • DMS

        I still enjoy MM, have done since 2008. People need to realise a debate is just that and stop taking differences of opinion as a slight.
        Women can be bitchy in the workplace, schoolyard, or socially so just remember you can’t buy manners!
        Don’t give rude people the pleasure of being successful bullies. DO NOT buy into their nastiness. I could at times have been so upset by posts, e.g. headline of ‘Catholic and Ashamed’ I didn’t disagree with her and it hit a cord as I’ve tried to be a good compassionate RC forever and feel so let down by the minority of grubs within and I feel sorry for all the good guys who work so hard and then have to feel appologetic for their good names being tarnished.
        I also felt we had a bit of a run on ‘vagina ‘ talk for awhile but what I didn’t like I skipped over. Otherwise you bring a diverse conversation most days and I just want to say THANK YOU.
        Lana and Rick gave us their best shot, time to move on and if they are generous enough they can still comment and the readers will get to know them from another perspective.
        It doesn’t matter that people come and go, that’s what happens in real life friendships. You sometimes don’t hear from old friends for ages and then when you do catch up it is like the gap of time/distance just evaporates.
        Thanks again Mia, my only problem is I don’t have enough time to read it all.

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    • Sue

      J, I couldn’t agree more. Something is definitey off, it could be related to Lana and Rick leaving, I don’t know, but I noticed it too, and it seems others have as well.

      Tess, what a ridiculous comment. MM staff have said time and time again that they love hearing feedback from readers so I don’t understand what your problem is.

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    • Mich

      J, intersting, did this site used to be one of friendship and warmth? I’m only new but that’s the last thing I feel when visiting. For example:
      * The freebirthing debate was so frustrating I could scream plus it was just talk so this type of negligence is probably happening as we speak – depressing.
      * The comments from the abortion article were dominated by a religious woman hiding behind a facade of prayer when really she is causing hurt (drives me mental).
      * The Miranda Kerr article started with ‘she didn’t want a drugged-up baby’, which is going to be insulting to women who had anything but a 100% natural birth – and therefore spark defence and argument.
      I’m not a member but often visit because the articles are interesting and the comments are far from boring, but for the most part, it has a negative impact on my day rather than a positive one. Sorry MM staff I know you work hard, your site is fantastic and stimulating but not really friendly and warm, just my first impression.

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    • Essie

      I miss Lana and Rick too! Where the hell IS Rick?????

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      • Anna mum of one

        Rick left about a month ago and is now writing for a newspaper. I miss Rick, Lana and the once regular commenters – Bradley, john James, whippersnapper, miss t, sometimes Karen and a host of others. The community feel just isn’t there for me anymore.
        The site has changed a lot. I’ve been a reader since the beginning and used to
        Comment often. While I still check in and read open post, best and worse and the occasional article that catches my attention, theres too many celebrity articles, parenting articles and some times just too many posts full stop.
        Ivillage isn’t catching my interest as a replacement either.

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        • becauseimthemum

          I miss the old regulars too Anna. Where is everyone???

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          • AJ

            A few of them started up their own website, kikkiandtea I think its called.

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  48. lizzieb

    Considering everyone appears to be obsessed with Offspring I just thought I’d share the fact that I went to see a room in a sharehouse the other night and the house is used for the filming of Offspring! Mainly the kitchen and the outside, as well as parts of the self-contained flat upstairs. I think it’s Billie’s place (here’s where I admit I don’t watch the show…)
    If I move into the place and they film another season there I promise to report back with as much inside goss as possible!

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    • Anonymous

      Cool claim to fame lizzieb Im jealous! Billies house looks gorgeous in the show

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  49. blossom

    OMM – last night’s Melissa Etheridge concert in Brisbane. She was amazing. Amazingly amazing. And she’s 51. Wow. It’s been 16 years since her last concert and it felt like yesterday. Wow.

    Also wondering whether Lana is going to keep her blog Sharpest Pencil any more? I check it all the time but it is not often updated :-(

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    • Lana

      Oh Blossom that’s so lovely. I have been knee deep in iVillage but I miss my blog. I will be back to it soon – thanks for the prompt xxxx

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  50. jojo01

    Hi everyone, This is my first post! Looking for some feedback please.
    RECYLED T-SHIRT FABRIC CONTEMPORARY PATCHWORK QUILT
    Clothing manufacturers have large amounts of waste fabric. We found a really great way to use our waste t-shirt fabric to make this awesome quilt for our girl Tilly. She loves snuggling up with it on a chilly night and it looks great on her bed as a throw rug.
    Would you buy one? Please comment.
    To see the making of this quilt go to my facebook page
    http://www.facebook.com/#!/jo.hewes
    Thanks Jo (clip 1 minute)

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    • Sailorgirl

      I love it!!! WOuld consider buying. Love the idea of recycled waste – we need more of that!!!

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      • jojo01

        Thanks Sailorgirl,
        I had a great time making it. We have so much fabric in our factory it’s great to see it being used and with so much love. I have attached a graghic image of the design close up.
        Thanks for your comment.
        Jo

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    • thelittlemissus

      Id definitely consider buying it. Very eco friendly of you

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      • jojo01

        thanks for your feedback. It is taking fabric scraps and turning them into something wonderful.

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