Mia Freedman
by MIA FREEDMAN
I went to Tasmania last weekend. To see MONA – the Museum of Old and New Art.
So amazing. Can’t find the words really, except that I saw everything from a Picasso to a poo-making machine.
A trip. Make it if you can.
What else this week? I cut myself a bit of a fringe. This will please the dedicated handful of commenters who have been asking me in varying degrees of politeness to do this ever since I started Mamamia.
Their demands get the silver medal for Unsolicited Personal Advice Given To Me, second only to the person who is determined I ‘fess up to having fake teeth.
Win some, lose some. I’m aware you can’t see the fringe in this photo. That’s because I have cowlicks that would put an actual cow to shame. A few things that people have asked about recently that I wanted to mention…..
Yes, we’ve had some tech issues that have been frustrating for you and excrutiating for us. We’re so so sorry. Please understand that we are a small team and we don’t have huge departments of IT support. As the site grows – the number of comments have doubled this year and traffic has taken a sharp jump too – we face greater challenges managing that growth.
We’re investing in all sorts of tech things that I don’t want to bore you with (please don’t insist I bore you because I’m trying to avoid saying that I don’t actually understand them and couldn’t explain them even if you offered me Ryan Gosling dipped in chocolate).
Writer, Lucy, is away in New York for a couple of weeks and we are being ably assisted by some kick-arse interns who are trying to pretend they’re not shocked by how much I swear in real life. Not AT people. God no. Just, you know, adjectivally.
Here’s what’s been going on around the MM offices and in social media this week:
We laughed at how many of you 'liked' this on FB. We've all done it!
So that’s it from me. What’s going on in your world?
Comments
292 Comments so far
OMM…
Australian Breastfeeding Association to expectan mothers: “Formula is a bit like AIDS”
Wow.
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Hey Jamilla – your pants on slide 43 are so awesome! What brand are they? xx
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She got them from Bardot!
-Megan
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Thanks Megan
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There is also apparently a matching jacket and waistcoat
-Megan
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I would like women to stop hating on males. I am the mother of a lovely son whom I am very proud of. I don’t think the way you are going about this feminist argument is helping womankind. We are all humans, reduce your argument to that point. Declaring war on anything is negative and makes it a competition. Then there has to be a winner and a loser. Nothing will be achieved.
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I have started Hypoxia. has anyone else tried this and if so did you have success?
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What is hypoxia?
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And if Em refers to ‘The Twitter’ one more bloody time…
I just sounds so antiquated and embarassing.
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Well I’m kinda secretly happy your having technical issues, as I can’t keep up.!!!
I love MM but some weeks I’m banked up on articles that I’ll start to read or get back to but by the time I get back it’s over and all talked about. Soooo that’s why I’m actually enjoying the radio show but who is the chick she is bubbling and lovely but I’m not sure if she’s a tad annoying, feel bad saying that!. It’s good if I’m cooking or cleaning up or just sorting out the kids to listen to what’s happening in MM world.
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I commented last night about the radio show to see what others thought. But alas – my comment has disappeared. I didn’t think I was being that critical! Sigh.
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Oops, ^ was me. Wasn’t signed in!
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Hi MamaMel, I commented on your post too about what I felt about the radio show – there was no rudeness or swearing but constructive feedback but my post also got deleted with yours. It makes you wonder what the ‘Open Post’ really is. Don’t think I’ll be reading/commenting anymore. This place has lost touch with reality.
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It’s early, so maybe I’ve missed it, but I commented on that post to and can’t see my reply…my comment was definitely not rude…and I didn’t think any of the other comments were either.
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I found the comments, they are hanging around on page 2 as the very first comments…strange.
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I hate to say it but I can’t stand the sound of Em’s voice. I find it very grating.
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Have to agree. I’ve tried to like it but it but I find myself switching over to a CD after about 15 minutes. What I like to read about on MM just doesn’t come across as good on radio. And I don’t think the chemistry is there…it all feels a bit forced. I listen to the Fox because it’s fun, and Fifi & Jules are awesome. MM just feels out of place after listening to their show. Still early days though and no doubt they are still finding what works, what doesn’t, so I’ll keep giving it a chance.
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Hi Everyone. I am a long time read-first time commenter.
OMM: Am currently living in London, while I am so happy for the opportunities I have to travel here, I am in a share house with people who have no respect for anyone/thing, I am finishing my contract job in a week with no other prospects despite contacting every recruiter in London, I have just found out my dad is unwell in Australia and my boyfriend and I are having huge issues as I have to leave here in 6 months, and he wants to continue living here. I guess with everything kind of happening at once I am quite overwhelmed, have loved my experience here but am really down. I am trying to make positive changes ie look for new (affordable) houses but is hard without knowing I have a job or when I will get one, apply for jobs which would be a career step backwards and try to “live in the now” with my boyfriend, but it all seems like a bit too much. I am 24, my mum doesn’t take these problems seriously and I don’t want to portray this sad person to my friends. Not sure what to do from here…any advice/if you have been in a similar situation etc, would be nice. Thanks
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Hey ausinlondon,
I’m sorry to hear about your situation! I’m also 24, living in London (Barons Court/West Kensington area) with my husband. I can completely relate to your situation, as I was in the same one a few months ago.
I trained as a music teacher, and ended up in a shocking primary school last September. I absolutely hated it but I had to stay there because I had no other job prospects and I needed to pay the rent! My husband is also a teacher so our income is not exactly great. Long story short, I did a Cambridge course, retrained and became an ESL teacher. I now have an amazing job that I love, however, my salary is still pitiful. I just need to resign myself to the fact that wages in London suck! When rent is so expensive, you have no room to move!
I’m not sure what to do about your visa situation. Is your boyfriend British or an EU citizen? You could possibly claim a de facto relationship and stay a few years longer. My Canadian friend is trying this with her British boyfriend (no success yet though…).
However, it sounds like you may need to go home to your dad. If my father was sick, I would probably go home, at least for a holiday. If your boyfriend gets annoyed or doesn’t understand then perhaps he isn’t worth sticking with. Although, if you’ve only got 6 months left, perhaps it’s not worth buying a return ticket. Ah, I can see how frustrating it must be for you!
Anyway, I haven’t really solved anything, but I hope that’s been helpful. I’m always available for a coffee if you need another Aussie to vent to. Living in London is hard and it’s always good to be reminded of home.
XO
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OMM is the interview I had on Monday. When will I hear anything?
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That very much depends on who it was with. Some organisations are waaaay more speedy about getting back to you than others.
i applied for two jobs at the same time, and had scored an interview *and* got the job for one of them two weeks before I even heard that I had an interview for the other. You just can’t tell.
Good luck, though! I know how bad the waiting can be.
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OMM: so many things. My period is 2 weeks late and I’m petrified! Boyfriend says that no matter what, we will be ok. But he’s overseas for another 10 days and I’m too scared to take the test on my own..
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Oh come on, put yourself out of your misery!! Otherwise your stress will grow which will just make your period later. You probably aren’t, so just bite the bullet
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Good advice, thanks. I know I’m being ridiculous.
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Hey, I’ll be online all day (at the office). Test yourself and then come back and tell us how it went. Better to know than not know. Boyfriend sounds like a keeper no matter what happens!
Good luck!
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Thanks zepgirl for the really kind comment. I am stuck at work today but have decided i will definitely do the test tonight. And yep, either way, boyf is definitely a keeper!
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Don’t forget to let us know the result!
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It was negative. Just slightly relieved.. Thanks for caring! I’d probably still be waiting if I hadn’t posted on here! have never missed a period before..
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I’m glad you’re feeling relieved. I hope it was the outcome you wanted xxx
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not sure if this has been asked but WHERE DID WAFF GET THOSE BLUE SHOES???
LOVE them!
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I agree. I have listened to the show a few times too and it still isn’t growing on me.It maybe the time slot it’s running in (6pm to 7pm), the topics, or the hosts… listening to Em’s drone on ubiquitous parenting/lifestyle topics when stuck in a traffic jam on the way home from work does not make for exciting radio. I feel Mamamia should do what it does best – continue making great strides online.
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OMM – with our 20th move, being back in the land girt by sea and revelling in the wide open spaces and children playing outside. Guilt at a neglected blog. Beside myself with the joy of getting back into the workplace and stretching my brain and creative juices in a good contract role. Overcome with desire to find more passion and excitement in my next workplace. And guilt at not feeling guilt about being back at work and leaving my children happy and nurtured without me – is this normal?!
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SO my husbands best mate just rang to tell him he was dating his little sister. I am unsure at the appropriate level of outrage.
I would be mortified if this happened to me. not sure how my husband feels about it either… Should we even care? I don’t know…
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It depends, how old is his sister?
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almost twenty one. I know that she’s an adult but I dunno, dont guys have a code or something? She isn’t a very mature person, they live in separate states so hardly ever see each other. shes known to uh… break some hearts, so i cant really see it being anything serious. not sure if this makes it worse or better.
I know its not really any of my business and I would never say anything to them. Just trying to make sense of my immediate reaction of outrage I guess lol
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Are either of them particularly dodgy/clingy/likely to hurt or be hurt? I don’t see why the outrage?
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I’m so glad Jamila that you left politics and came to Mamamia because your fashionable wardrobe is too good to keep just for weekends!
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Aw Katie! I like you. You can stay.
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Does anyone have any advice about keeping or not keeping toxic friends? I have been friends with a girl for nearly a year. She has one child who is exactly the same age as my youngest (I have two). She has some traits that I love; we motivate each other at gym, compare stories about our boys, she is always flitting from one exciting activity to another. But on the other hand she is demanding of me/my time, gets cranky when I don’t do enough things with her, keeps lecturing me on my parenting/hair style/marriage/lack of spontaneity all under the guise of “helping”. My husband has pointed out that since I have met her I am constantly sick with a head cold (I stress easily) when my diet and exercise are otherwise good, I am bitchy and critical, she occupies my thoughts a lot. We live in a fairly small place where I am likely to run into her (almost definitely at the gym) so what do I do? We currently haven’t spoken for nearly a week as I told her she hurt my feelings when she implied that a new friend she met would be better suited to me as she “lives for her kids”. On the other hand I miss her and her crazy escapades.
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THIS is why I give people a wide berth. I can’t stand being answerable to others and them wanting to live in my pocket and know my every move. It’s hard when you live in a small place, Char. I guess you just need to keep busy, keep smiling, have a pile of good excuses (lies!) and wait till she moves on to her next victim/fixer-up-er-er.
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I think just drift away and let the friendship fade naturally. Less awkward that way if you happen to bump into her. She sounds like the sort of person that would turn nasty if you tried to confront the issues. Not worth the angst!
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I agree. There’s no need for it to have a big, angry conclusion or anything, or even a civil discussion. Just make your catch ups fewer and farther between, and continue to be pleasant when you do encounter her. Best of luck.
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Your husband (who sounds like a perceptive sort of guy) has hit the problem on the head when he points out that this ‘friendship’ is affecting your health. Sort of says it all, doesn’t it?
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I don’t mind the show, but hearing Em constantly saying ‘hello darrrrling!’ is getting on my nerves a little…
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Watching I Will Survive. Man love, man hugs. Hetro and gay Aussie guys .. noice. Arghhh, I’m missing Farmer!
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It’s the simple things on my mind this week.
One – Coles stocks Dr Pepper again. I am way more happy about this than is reasonable. Can’t help it.
Two – I love Michelle Bridges. She released a range of cute workout clothes that go above a size 14. It goes all the way up to 26. So much of the plus sized workout clothing is hideous, but hers is nice.
Three – I love when I rediscover a CD. The Goldberg Sisters self titled album is awesome.
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What does Dr Peppers taste like?
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almond essence (Im not a fan!)
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Medicine and actual pepper! I think it’s disgusting.
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Rather excited because I am embracing the neon trend slowly but surely – ordered a neon pink Cambridge satchel bag off Shopbop! Contemplating getting a cheap pair (ot three) of bright jeans from Kmart/Big W/Target.
Exhausted this week. Full time work/part time Masters = butt kicked.
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I am loving the neon too! Perfect as the weather warms up up (hopefully soon as there is only 8 days left of winter!)
Oh, and Big W coloured jeans are only about $20/25 and pretty comfortable
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OMM: In a frustrating romantic situation. I’ve rekindled with my ex (I broke up with him about 1.5 years ago as I needed to be single for the first time ever) and am so incredibly joyful to have him back in my life, but I have now gone overseas for 6 months. Because we’ve only just tested the waters of getting back together we decided not to attempt long distance while I’m away, but rather to keep in contact but be non-monogamous. So over texts and Skype etc we’re like bf/gf but we’re both really struggling with the idea of each other being with other people. On the flip side, I don’t want to attempt long distance, because a big part of this trip is wanting to travel single for the first time, have flings, etc etc. Any tips on how to deal with OS jealousy??
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Be honest with him, put it all on hold until you get back, otherwise you’ll make each other miserable and it’ll tarnish your o/s experience if you obsess about it working or not long distance. I have been down this road and it was horrible.
Or … you could take him with you! But I’m guessing that’s not an option?
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It’s not sadly. Plus I do want this time alone to stand on my own two feet. So you’re probably right, I should probably step back from the relationship while I’m OS. It’s just so good to have him back in my life! Thanks for replying.
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I don’t feel healthy at the moment. I’m tired and miserable.
I’m so over making food for myself and I think that’s part of the problem. Can anyone recommend some healthy, nutritious meals?
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Bag of salad from the supermarket emptied onto a plate with a can of tuna or salmon tipped on top. I hate cooking so have this for lunch or dinner most days of the week. And brown rice with tuna or boiled chicken breast, I do a batch of brown rice in the rice cooker every couple of days. Very boring but also very quick.
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Wrap a few potatoes in foil, bake for hr. For each meal grab a potato, cut up/mash a little & add various toppings: tuna/salmon, tinned beans, tinned corn, fresh grated veg (carrot, zucchini), sliced mushrooms, spring onions, grated tasty cheese, crumbled feta cheese, natural yoghurt, herbs, salt & pepper – zap in microwave, or pop in oven.
Fry off some onion & garlic, add any of the following: tuna, salmon, chicken, ham, tinned beans, sliced mushrooms, baby spinach leaves, carrots, corn etc, add cheese & or natural yoghurt & mix through cooked gnocchi or fresh tortellini/ravioli or any cooked dried pasta.
Grab any of the above, roll in a wrap or tortilla, wrap in foil & bake in oven…. I’m hungry now!
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Chop up whatever veg you have on hand into chunky pieces. I usually use zucchini, baby eggplant, carrot, tomato, broccoli, beans or whatever is in the fridge that needs eating. Finely dice garlic and add to veg in oven proof dish. Drizzle with olive oil, and top with sumac, ground cumin and lemon juice. Bake on moderate oven for 20 mins. While the veg are roasting, slice a chicken breast into chunks and marinate in olive oil, sumac, cumin and lemon juice. Add chicken to the dish and bake for a futher 20 mins.
You can eat it like this as chicken and veg, but I usually also serve with cous cous or quinoa and add a handful of baby spinach when the veg and chicken are done. This way, it lasts an extra couple of meals.
It is also delicious as a cold salad – just do the veg and chicken and add tinned lentils and feta if you like. Play around with the herbs and spices, and even the protein – you could swap chicken for lamb, beef, lentils or chickpeas. I sometimes add a tin of crushed tomatoes – you can really add anything, but I love the sumac/cumin/garlic/lemon combo. Sumac is available in the dried herbs and spices section of the supermarket if you’re unsure.
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Hey ParisChic,
HEAPS of healthy, easy and quick meals on my blog….
http://Www.phoodie.wordpress.com
Go to “search” box and look up “lamb and vegetable soup”, “quinoa and chickpea salad”, “gozleme”….. just to get you started!
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After a turbulent time with my health & anxiety. I thought I would do something challenging. So I booked a 2 month solo trip to the states.
So I have been here for 2 days and I am struggling.. I feel so forgetful, disoriented and almost like I’m here, but not here. As I have never traveled before.. Can someone tell me if this is jetlag? How long does this last? Or what it is? I have been planning this trip for years & now I’m here it’s almost like I can’t believe it & can’t absorb it.
Any help or words of wisdom would be much appreciated (& needed).
Thanks
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Yes, that is jetlag. It generally last for a few days, although sometimes it can last for a week. Try to keep the same hours as the people in the place you’re at and drink lots of water.
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Aus to the USA is a long trip, so I think jet lag is a factor.
I did a similar trip by myself after a bad health episode too, funnily enough.
Just breath, find a major landmark over there, sit down and look at for awhile. Then it may finally sink in what you are looking at.
Take your time looking at everything, and don’t rush around to see it all. ‘
Even if you miss some of the big stuff, the little things will end up being more special.
Take yourself to a nice restaurant near by, have a glass of wine (or what ever tickles your fancy) enjoy the meal.
Write down everything you saw at the end of the day, and your thoughts on it.That will also help it sink in.
But most of all, enjoy yourself!
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Oh Jess… I feel for you.
There are a few key things that may help… Firstly, if you’re in the same place for the next couple of days try and unpack and set up a little routine. This will make you feel a bit more settled.
You’re probably a bit jet lagged, try and go to bed at the same time each night and set your alarm to get you up and going the next day.
Next – go for a walk. It’ll do the world of good. Map out a specific route and walk it, maybe once in the morning and once in the afternoon. It’ll familiarise you with your new *and exciting* surroundings.
Finally – do some sort of organised tour. It’ll take some of the “holy crap I’m here and I don’t know what to do next” fear away. If you’re in a hotel arrange for a pick up from there. If you’re not, head to the tourist office for help.
You’ll be ok. I promise. I’ve been there and it’s daunting but once it passes it’s exciting. We’re here if you need us xx
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Thank you all so much for the kind words of support and ideas to ground myself in this place. It’s 430am here and I have been awake for 2 hours trying to get back to sleep (and not worry!).
I’m just freaking out thinking ‘bloody hell I havent come all this way for nothing have I’. I just wish I was as excited about it all as I was when I planned it.
I got to New York airport and thought ‘ I should be excited, loving it and wanting to explore’ but I just thought ‘this reminds me of Sydney’
I’m staying with a friend (out of NY) for a week so hopefully I feel a little better soon.
Thanks again, the words of ‘strangers’ are more comforting than I thought. X
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Jess, I had THE WORST jet-lag a person has ever had after a long haul flight. I don’t know what I did wrong but dayyy-um, I was useless for a week. It was like a chronic hangover. Fret not, one day you wake up and the fog lifts and YOU’RE BACK!
Mine was after a return leg home so sister, you’ve got to fight the good fight, show Mr Lag who is the boss and get out and amongst it! But rest assured, you’ll come good xx
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Omg, I can’t go to the city without getting lost and panicky and I don’t have anxiety! You are SO brave! Good on you, keep us posted on your adventure xx
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I went to the US on a six week trip, mostly solo, seeing some friends along the way. I too was having ‘issues’ and thought a trip away would help. It didn’t, on the times I was alone I was miserable and unwell.
Give it some time first, to see if it is jetlag and acclimatising yourself. But don’t be afraid to come home if you don’t feel right, there is no shame or waste in that, you may even be able to claim travel insurance for ill health. Don’t force yourself to stay if you need to come home and get support.
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My advice–go up to Canada, find a Tim Horton’s, order a “double double” and some Timbits and all your worries will fade into oblivion.
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Oh how I miss Tim Hortons! A double double and a blueberry muffin and only paying 5% tax in Alberta meant brekky used to cost me 3 bucks! winning!
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I LOVE Tim Horton’s! Craving a double double now…
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Thinking about chocolate and honey dip Timbits and maybe a walnut crunch doughnut. Not a coffee drinker, yet at Tim’s with the kids a few times a week when we were living in Canada. Are you guys also lonely Canadians living in Oz???
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So I mentioned that there’s a boy. I work with him, he works with me. We flirt A LOT. He’s lovely, and has a phenomenal body which I happily get to look at every single day. Let’s call him Superman.
I just don’t know what to do from here. How is this played? Is it played? Do we dare at work?
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Dude, life is too short to stress. If you like him and think it could work out then go for it. Suggest coffee, let him suggest a drink – it’ll go from there. If you don’t think it could work beyond a few shags then maybe deviate your attention elsewhere, as it could be awkward after you get over sleeping together.
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Haha you have just described my happy life two years ago. It was so much fun flirting up a storm!
BUT.. now it’s even more bliss living with him and seeing him every day and he’s still so lovely! We’ve been together over 18 months now and going strong, we also stayed working together until very recently when I left to study.
He ended up asking me on a date after knowing each other for some months, but if he hadn’t done it I would’ve. I still look fondly back on the memory of being asked and think he was so amazing to do it.
My work was cool with it (we didn’t explicitly tell anyone, they all just clued on gradually and thought it was quite amusing really). It may have helped that my boy asked me out just as Christmas holidays were starting, so were able to get to know each other better and establish a relationship in that time away from work.
From my perspective, it’s so worth it. If you think he likes you too, you may as well give it a shot!
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Did I miss the announcement that Rick had left MM?
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Hi Reannon!
Rick has moved on to his roots of newspapers – he’s now at The Australian.
You can see his final piece here:
http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/working-with-women-6-things-ive-learned/
And a piece in the Australian here:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/nation/gang-tracked-for-year-before-500m-drugs-raid/story-e6frg6nf-1226439837823
And don’t forget to follow him on Twitter!
https://twitter.com/SquigglyRick
Thanks
-MM Moderator Megan
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Definitely follow him on twitter. He is hilarious.
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Two outfit questions:
Mia, where did you find that lovely orange jacket in the picture?
And Nat, TELL ME ABOUT THE PENGUIN JUMPER PLEASE
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The penguin is from Dotti
on sale for $30!
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Thank you!
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I wonder why people say they went “to Tasmania” for the weekend?
Why not say you went to Hobart to see MONA, at the weekend?
It’s a small island, sure, but you certainly can’t “do it” in a weekend. Hell you can’t even “do it” in a week, really.
Unless all you want to remember is a blur.
People say they went to Broome for the weekend, not to West Oz.
This is not a criticism, Mia, but an observation.
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I’ve been telling people I went to Europe for six weeks … surely you can get the gist?
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Nice point, but I think we do it a lot.
I’m currently telling everyone I’m going to Queensland in September. I could say I was going to the Sunshine Coast or Noosa, but really ‘Queensland’ sums it up – everyone here knows I’m talking about the beach/sun experience, rather than the outback, FNQ etc…
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Swamped with study. Taking a break between work and getting started.
At work today (waitressing) a guy paid for some of his meal with the tip money his friends had left. He did this in front of me knowing full well I knew what he was doing. Totally unashamed. You Sir are a jerkface.
Crazy about a guy but he travels for long periods and can’t always be in touch. I am assured of his interest but it is tough not to hear from him for up to two weeks, sometimes more (he is in remote areas oseas). Trying to tramp down my insecurities. Secretly wish I could receive a daily ‘yes I am keen on you’ message. But that would make me that awful needy girl wouldn’t it? Sigh.
MM another confessions post would be great, that post was awesome.
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Ooooh confessions request noted. I’m kinda keen for another round as well.
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Forget panning for gold, as ‘girly’ below says; trying to find a job is like searching for the Holy Grail. Oh well, another day, another three applications, another rejection, another interview, and two kind suggestions by friends who have been wonderfully supportive over the last two months or so …
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Hang in there. You WILL find work. It seems endless while you’re looking but ultimately ‘this too shall pass.’
Try not to take it personally – it’s not you, it’s them!! And just remember, every day you’re a day closer to your job.
Stay strong!
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Thanks!
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Tell me about it! I’ve applied for 22 jobs in the last 24 months and only had about 4 interviews!
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I am the mum of a 3 week old baby. She is my second child so I should have known what to expect.
My first born spent 3 weeks in special care when he was born as he had trouble sucking and keeping food down. He was given formula from day one as he was very tiny. It wasn’t the ideal way to begin breast feeding so after doing tops up on my breast milk for about 2 months, I gave up and went over to formula only.
I thought that it would be different for number 2 as she came home with me from the hospital. I still don’t seem to produce enough milk to settle her at night. I am on fenugreek and moutilim(?) but after 10 days, it doesnt seem to be doing anything. She can feed for a hour at 11pm, 1am and 3am but it isn’t until I give her even just 10mls of formula that she will settle in her cot easily.
I am looking for words of wisdom from others who have been in the same position and pushed through it and have gone on to successfully breast feed. Anyone?
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2 hourly feedings overnight sounds very familiar (and totally normal). If this is not working for you, don;t feel guilty about giving a bit of formula “dream feed” if this means you can get a bit of sleep. Rest is the best thing for making milk! If you are feeding during the day, 1 formula feed is not going to affect your supply much.
You are doing a wonderful job – don’t let guilt get in the way of you getting some shut eye
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I’d say be careful with that. With my first baby I tried one formula feed a day, then one became two, then three. I ended up stopping breastfeeding at 4 months when I really didn’t want to because my supply dwindled away and the baby preferred the bottle by that stage.
With my second baby what worked was feeding her often, like every couple of hours all day and night. It’s exhausting and you can’t do anything else but it worked for me because I had someone else to look after my toddler while I concentrated on establishing the breastfeeding.
(a midwife told me that babies settle faster with cows milk formula because there is something in cows milk that acts as a mild sedative. Don’t know if it’s true or not but I did notice my son would sleep much more deeply after being formula fed compared to when he was breastfed).
Good luck!
(Also I had both babies weighed often to make sure they were putting on weight. I wouldn’t recommend persisting with exclusive breastfeeding if the baby was losing weight)
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Call the ABA, they really are great at this kind of thing
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/
1800 686 268
Good luck!
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I am currenlty still bf my 10 month old baby. And I remember for probably the first 4 months he did feed 2 hourly. At first the feeds did take about a hour but as he got bigger and faster at sucking they became much quicker so although were still every 2 hours, i wasnt spending as much time feeding. So completely normal. It was the same for all my bf friends as we all said we felt like we were always feeding. We all peservered and are happy we did. Emjoy your time together and your special bond and cuddles. I couldnt bear the thought of of washing bottles
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Thank you all for your advice and comments.
Unfortunately, I am not living in Australia at the moment so can’t seek advice from ABA.
Tonight as an example, I started the feed at 5.30pm, bath at 5.45, from then until 7.40, she was feeding on both breasts. I tried 3 times to put her down when she was asleep on the breast but after 5 minutes, she woke up crying and looking for more.
Finally, at 7.40, I gave her 30mls of expressed BM, she was out like a light and haven’t heard boo since. I think she is just not getting enough.
I will persist with the feeding but either have expressed milk or formula ready for feeds from late afternoon onwards if she is still looking for more. More work but I give my body every chance of picking up its game and producing more!
Wish me luck!
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Again me. Sounds all very very similar to me. Evening/Late afternoon times are the most unsettling times for babies, so it’s commong that they are asking for frequent but short feeds one for hunger but also for soothing.
You said you gave her expressed Breast milk after which she settled quickly. The thing is having milk from a bottle is way easier than from the breast, so she might be getting just tired during the feed and consequently falling asleep eventhough she hasn’t had enough, as opposed to being quicker full after the bottle.
Sure it’s up to you. Personally I would stick through it, as she gets older she will feed for shorter and be settled for longer.
Also have a look on ABA’s website for a phone number, I think you might still be able to call them on the phone or one of those mother and child nurse help lines maybe from the country you live in or from Australia.
Also you can find advise on http://www.betterhealthchannel.com.au, http://www.kidspot.com(any country), breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 2 686.
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Me again. I wrote an answer yesterday evening, but it didn’t show I just realised.
Wanted to say, again all very familiar to me.
You said you gave her expressed BM and she settled quicker. The thing is drinking from a bottle is way easier than sucking from the breast, which is why she is getting fuller quicker.
Also the late afternoon/evening time is the most unsettling time for babies, so they want more frequent feeds, one for hunger but also for soothing. Just like someone below said you are also tired and producing less milk, but keep going and your supply of milk will keep up.
The other thing is, you might still be able to call ABA or go on their website, or if nothing else look for a one of those mother helplines from the country you live in. There are also good websites out there for advise like http://www.betterhealthchannel.com.au, http://www.kidspot.com(for any country), or the breastfeeding help line here in Australia is 1800 686 2 686.
Personally I had some issues with both my daughters, long feeding times, frequent at evening and night, but I persisted and it settled after around 6 weeks(more or less).
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Firstly congratulation on your new baby.
I would too suggest to to call ABA or visit one of their offices in your area. You can make an appointment or some of them have a drop-in-day. And they have heaps of info material and great advice and can reassure you.
I myself had a similar situation with both my daughters. During the first few weeks I breastfed them very frequently, particularly at nights. During the day the sometimes had sleeps for as long as 4 hours, though at night was a different story. I never tried topping up with formula, just didn’t want to spoil the BF, but also couldn’t be bothered to make up formula milk added to breastfeeding, so I stuck through it.
Things that were usefull to me were:
keeping her awake during feed, so she doesn’t fall asleep(I tried very hard, not always possible, ok almost never during the first weeks).
Not changing breast during a feed, instead letting her have everything from one breast first and then if still hungry offer the other one(the hinter milk is richer with fat, so will keep the baby fuller for longer).
make sure you eat and drink plenty.
as for the settling easily: your baby needs to learn to settle by herself, it’s not something they know from birth, so routine and swaddling were the two magic words in our household.
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Congratulations on your new baby!
Firstly you are doing a great job! Babies are meant to be confusing. And at 3 weeks waking every 2-3 hours to feed is within the norms (they also have a growth spurt around this time). If she is only taking 10ml as a top up then you probably are giving her enough milk but be guided by her weight gain if you are worried about that side. Babies also often cluster feed (feed on the hour or two) for several hours. Mine both did this from about 4pm – 11 pm for about the first few weeks. It is exhausting, so make sure you are getting lots of rest and help in between. At about 6 weeks they settled into a routine. How is she feeding during the day? If she is going longer during the day between feeds then maybe trnd stretch herout 3-4 hours at night. Also, sometimes a tired cry sounds like a hunger cry. So make sure you are doing things like swaddling, or try a warm (not hot) heatpack for her to cuddle up to.
It will get better!
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Breastfeeding is fabulous when everything else falls into place and it works well. When its not working well and you’re exhausted do what your head tells you to do. And dont listen to too many ‘experts’..they all come with their own biases and often their advice is the complete opposite to the next ‘expert’ you talk to. Nobody else will being living your life for you, do what you can cope with.
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I found acupuncture really helped boost my milk supply (I also had a premmie bub in nicu). Plus lots of feeding overnight (best time to get supply going).
By evening you’re tired so not producing as much so very common to perhaps need a top up of expressed milk. Stick with it if you can, makes life easy when it works!
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Bah. Trying to find an affordable rental in Sydney is like panning for gold. I’ve had enough of driving from the Central Coast to Sydney every day for work, so I am going to be moving closer. I don’t necessarily want share accommodation with students, and that’s all the cheap ones seem to be.
I don’t mind sharing with a professional like myself. Anyone got any ideas for me? I am looking to move out sometime around November, as I’ll be back from my brothers wedding and will have a decent amount saved up by then.
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I’ve always been interested in your office situation. You seem to have always been at the same place, but did you just have heaps of space to start with and have gradually filled it with people or do you keep taking over your building as the team gets bigger? Can we have an office photo tour? I know you post lots of photos from the office on the open post but I am the kind of person who tries to draw floor plans of the houses on tv shows so it makes sense in my head!
…just realised this comment makes me sound like a little bit of a freak. Oops!
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I agree! I’ve always wondered how it all works. I’m the same kind of person who likes to know the layout
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Alina, that comment made me laugh so much! I’d draw you a diagram but I’m not sure it’d help much as I don’t have a scrap of artistic talent. We’ll see what we can do. Xx
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Quit my toxic workplace this week. Feel bad for my team, who I love, but I’ve really been driven to this point by my boss. Have been through a pretty thorough process trying to make it work, but with no openness on her side that she could be even slightly responsible for the lack of morale in her team, or for the negative and fearful culture, there hasn’t been anything else I can do.
I feel so relieved…. I can’t believe it.
Now, need to figure out what is next for me! Husband has been amazingly supportive and luckily (well, as a result of a number of years or hard work and some sacrifice) we are in a position to manage fine without my income.
OMM: still want to be a financial contributor to this household. I’ve been working for 10 years and never not had a job.
OMM#2 this work glitch has thrown baby plans into disarray. Previous workplace had amazing maternity provisions, but even that wasn’t enough for me to stay. We need to re-evaluate our timing for kids, and I’m early 30s and don’t want to wait….
Exciting but confusing times!
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Just start trying for kids. When I got pregnant with #1 I started doing some consulting work, and here I am 7 years later with 4 kids and a flourishing small business!
(I’m really good at typing with a baby on my lap – but backspace gets a bit of a workout s4o4em444444444444di91.0
Sometimes!) Left that one in for fun!
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I’d love to hear more about your home-based business. That would be my ideal situation to combine work and motherhood .
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P, whatever you do, don’t take too deep a breath!
I too left a toxic workplace, when my son was 4. I had decided I wanted to take time off when he started school so the timing was right. Also, being an ‘older’ mum, I think I was just ready for a rest from work – and I really needed recovery time from the pain I had gone through. I didn’t miss work, and I enjoyed being mum for a while. BUT, a few years later, I find myself totally lacking confidence, recent experience and any sort of network to call on to reignite my career. It’s tough.
But what am I saying; this is not meant to be a ‘boohoo, poor me’ piece! What I mean to say is; keep connected and build your network, do whatever you need to do to build and/or maintain your self confidence, and keep that toe in the water.
Oh and the baby thing? Go for it! There will never be a perfect time, and you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve when you’re a mother.
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Thanks! I definitely don’t plan to take much of a break…maybe just a few weeks, but do plan to get back into it. Maybe freelancing, maybe in a full-time role…
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P, this was exactly my situation. I knew I was desperate to leave soon, but wanted to get pregnant first to get the mat leave benefits – but conception doesn’t always happen quickly and I just couldn’t hang in there any more. Leaving was the best decision I ever made. Congratulations on being brave and getting out of there. The best decisions you’ll ever make are the ones that aren’t motivated by money. That’s been my experience, anyhow…
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Thanks neola. Exactly the same situation!
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I don’t usually contribute to the open post but I’m really bothered this week by what’s happening to my 9 (nearly 10) year old daughter at school.
It falls into the category of ‘social bullying’ – e.g. mean girls are excluding her, running away, saying she can’t play with them, telling her she’s no good at a certain game so can’t play etc etc. While she does have a couple of friends that are nice – if they’re not easy to find she often spends lunch time in the playground by herself. It’s happening on a daily basis and has been going on for some time now. It’s starting to affect her personality and general moods at home. I also suspect it’s starting to affect her school work.
She is quite bright and does very well with her school work and is very much involved in and good at performing arts. She’s pretty (of course I’m going to say that!) and kind natured and has a big heart. The only time I’ve really seen her fight with anyone is the normal sibling rivalry with her younger sister. Other than that she’s very gentle-natured and funny and loving.
I’ve spoken to the school a couple of times already. The DP said end of last term she’d have a chat to my daughter to help empower her. So far this hasn’t happened. Her teacher (male) has got all the girls in the class together as a group and talked about being kind, not excluding etc. This had an impact for a few days and things really improved but it seems they’ve all forgotten about it already as they’re back to being mean.
My daughter is definitely a sensitive soul and I know I need to teach her to be resilient but I feel like we should be trying to prevent this from happening in the first place.
The school apparently has an obligation to do something but apparently they are NOT obliged to reprimand the bully/bullies – and I suspect our school takes this approach. Some of the things my daughter tells me makes me want to march up to the school and confront the bullies myself – or the parents but the general recommendation is not to do that.
Obviously if she was being physically harmed it would be a different story but it seems because it’s social I’m being told ‘girls are just like that at this age’. My instincts tell me not to accept this but then I also don’t want to make a huge fuss and open a big can of worms that may end up making my daughter’s school life even harder.
It’s a tough one… and with all the negative press about bullying lately I’m very aware that I need to do more but feeling a bit powerless.
Anyone else been in this situation?
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It’s so hard isnt it?
For my 2 cents worth, please don’t confront the parents of the other children. Unless they are very rare and they don’t see their children through rose colored glasses they won’t believe you and defend their child and it will just make you feel worse.
Ok, now im asking you not to be like the other parents and be brutally honest, blinkers off, about your daughter, is there a reason these kids may not like your daughter? Could she be rubbing them up the wrong way? Does she boast about her good grades? It could be something very simple that she is doing that is making the other girls feel that way towards her. Have a chat to her about it, you never know… I have a friend whose daughter is at her 4th primary school and still struggles with friendships and she doesn’t understand why. I know why. She’s a great kid but she is very bossy and other kids don’t like that.
If you can’t see a reason why, make an appointment with the principal and take it a step further.
Good luck.
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Thanks! While it’s tempting to talk to the other parents I’m definitely not going to do that.
I have asked my daughter if there’s anything she’s doing that may be putting them off her. She can’t think of anything and I quietly asked a Mum of one of the other (nice) girls who asked her daughter and there was nothing she could think of either.
I suspect they may resent her good grades? She certainly doesn’t boast about them and actually can be a little bit embarrassed as doesn’t want to feel ‘nerdy’.
Thanks for your tips. Definitely going to approach the school again (trying not to feel like a ‘problem parent’).
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You don’t sound like a ‘problem parent’ at all.
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I really remember being excluded at primary school. I vividly remember one girl saying to me, ‘Can you go away now? We want to play by ourselves.’ Still hurts.
How are your daughter’s social skills? I only ask because I now recognise that my own weren’t terribly good. I wasn’t particularly good at making / keeping friends because I didn’t say terribly much and was often interested in things completely different to those of the other girls around (they were into Cabbage patch dolls. I was into ‘Blackadder’ and the comedy of John Clarke. At age seven, go figure!). Does she make friends easily outside of school? Or is it difficult for her in other situations as well? It was only when my mum enrolled me in drama classes in grade five that I gained a little confidence. Just simple stuff like asking someone how they were or how their weekend was, then taking that up and talking about it was something that I had to learn how to do. No idea as to why I didn’t know in the first place. Or giving small compliments to people, ‘I like your shirt, where did you get it?’
In hindsight, some of what was going on with my situation was just girls being mean. But some of it was that I wasn’t great at talking to people my own age. I always got along with adults, not with kids my own age.
Not sure I have any answers for you. And the thing is, if other kids don’t like your daughter (for whatever reason, real or imagined), it’s going to be difficult to make them like her or play with her. Adults don’t hang around with people they don’t like, kids are the same. Hope that doesn’t sound mean, it’s not meant to.
Hope it works out for your daughter. Good luck.
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She communicates quite articulately so I’m not sure she has any problem in that regard – she seems to be able to talk to people of all kinds relatively easily.
She has lots of great friends outside of school (and a couple of good friends at school) with no problems. It just seems this age group at her school and in particular in her class are a mean group. I know it’s happening to a couple of others too – not just her. They are nice to her when she’s on her own with them (eg. if she ever sees any of them outside of school one-on-one) but then when they’re together as a group they’re mean. There’s one or two ‘leaders’ and then a few followers.
Like you, I remember the same happening to me too – not as often or for as long but it’s definitely the age group I think.
I don’t want to over-react and open a huge can of worms by making a big fuss – I think to a certain extent she does need to develop more resilience but at the same time I can’t just dismiss it as being typical of this age group or with the thought that ‘girls can be cruel’ because I just can’t risk her being damaged for life like so many others have been.
Such a fine line.
Thanks for your response.
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That totally sucks. By reading some of your responses it seems like your daughter really isn’t provoking this, so I think it’s time to go back to the school and have a chat with the DP again. BE that mother! I don’t want to scare you but if you don’t get this under control it could go on for years. And I don’t accept that it’s just girls being girls either — it is not on!
A couple of good books – ‘my secret bully’ by Tracey ludwig
http://www.amazon.com/My-Secret-Bully-Trudy-Ludwig/dp/1582461597
And a new one (mine hasn’t arrived yet but I am waiting with bated breath!)
“bullied” by carrie Goldman. http://news.yahoo.com/book-bullied-every-parent-teacher-kid-needs-know-142733514.html
There is nothing worse than seeing your precious baby being bullied, I know. Let us know how you go please, I had a really hard time at school and my daughter is in prep with no problems yet but I want to be prepared. Good luck and God bless.
Josie
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Hey MMers
Had a bissful ‘fark it’ day at home in the jim jms monday. BLISSFUL. Felt so good I even let the cherubs have a mental health day yesterday – came home to an immaculately clean fridge and a few other bits of unexpected housework!! So they both got lunch orders today and I’m working on something fun for the weekend with them.
Just had lunch with my gf and her darling baby boy – the one whose birth I was so lucky to be involved in. He looks like Bob the Builder today and makes my uterus quiver!! Baby snuggles and gummy smiles…nawwww.
Went on another date with Lovely Dave last night – the keen one from Sunday night. Dinner, couple drinks and sitting on front of a fire. I love fires. Don’t they just work like truth serum? So I’m getting just the right amount of attention – after I told him yes, let me breathe a little! – and he makes me laugh every day so far.
Kareoke tonight! Gonna get my swing Diva on I think
OMM: I’ve much to be happy for.
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Lovely Dave isn’t the blokey douchebag plumber is he. So plumber hasn’t been back in contact? Just trying to keep up with things – I’m living my romantic life through you, Haven!
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No no! Lovely Dave I was just chatting with and he was very eager to meet me.
Douchebag plumber is definitely history. Had much fun at Kareoke last night when they asked where douchebag plumber was – telling them all that he was a dud shag
I know I know. Going to hell. Booked a window seat…
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OMM1: I received some pretty amazing advice about my breakup two weeks ago from a girl named Melissa and “anotherfabsinglewoman” on Monday’s open post so I thank them for that.
OMM2: The thought of him contacting me again and ruining all my positive thoughts about moving on because he wants to be single. I think he will on Friday and don’t think I’m strong enough not to respond.
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Your thanks is noted and appreciated. I wish I could have given my 21 year old self that advice years ago during my own heartbreak.
Wishing you strength if he does call Friday, and strength if he does not. I still suggest switching your phone off during your social event that night. Time away from any contact (also known as ‘having space’) will help you to heal, I swear.
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Do you think the call on Friday would be a weekend booty-call? (or is it your birthday or similar?) If the former, that would be more than enough for me to have that phone firmly switched off…
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LOVE the bangs Mia!
I’ve ALWAYS wanted a thick, blunt, Uma Thurman in that movie, oh god, the movie…what’s it called…….MIND BLANK *google*……..I’m back! Pulp fiction, fringe….. I DO NOT have the facial features to pull it off…… so I refrain….
OMM:
Blogging 24/7 (when not raising 2 x babies and illustrating for a cookbook) and ABSOLUTELY loving it! LOVE seeing how something I do, a recipe that I write, can inspire someone i don’t know, often somewhere in the world that I have never been, to get into the kitchen and cook….. and make their family happy!
Have been eating really well and exercising lately and it’s the first time since my son was born, 11 months ago, where I feel like “the old me” again!
It’s GREAT!
Loving Mmia more and more everyday…. it’s just SO WONDERFUL to have a “place” to come where I can 1) ‘talk’ at any time of the day/night 2) get up to speed on EVERY topic from Assange to Boo Boo 3) enter competitions 4) get a fashion fix 5) read OMM comments and write back to peeps to give them advice and help toss ideas around re: their weekly issues! What did I do before Mmia was around?!
Phoodie
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Oh Phoodie. We love you too. Xx
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Aww thanks Jam Jam!
Phoodie
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I too don’t know what I did before Mamamia – think I did housework and cooked and other pretty dull stuff like that. I seem to have noticed a fairly direct link to more content on mamamia over the years to less housework being done here – I do live alone so it’s easy to let the standards drop as noone else is going to notice
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Hi
OMM: I am thinking about getting the Brazilian Keratin Treatment done on my insanely curly and frizzy (think clown frizzy) hair.
Has anyone had this done? Is it as fabulous as they say? How long did it last? etc.
Thanks in advance!
Erica
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I had it done about a year ago – I have clown frizz too, and it was a bit full on for me – I don’t straighten my hair normally (I’ve done it about 5 times in my life), so having to keep it dead straight for the weekend (had it done on the Friday arvo) was pretty weird. I also buggered it up with washing it with the wrong (ie not $35 a bottle) stuff. It definitely made it better though. I have kept using different keratin containing shampoo and conditioner since.
I just don’t really have the hair gene though – I rarely wear it down and I think I’m a bit too used to that.
I would definitely suggest holding out for Living Social/Our Deal offers – they come up pretty often for keratin treatments, so you’ll only pay about $100 or so rather than $500.
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Thanks Kris2040!
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I have thick, coarse & wavy hair, I had the treatment 6 weeks ago & I LOVE it! I went to on a very tropical oil day for a week & my hair behaved, amazing. I just blow dry it & it always looks great, so much easier. Previously I would blow dry & use a straightener. Go for it!
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Take 3 of TTC. hope it works this time!!
thats all thats ever on mind lol
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Mia, try getting a Brazilian Keratin Treatment if you’ve got a fringe! It will stay sleek and amazing all day long, and cuts blowdrying time by more than half.
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I’ve heard there is formaldehyde in that – true?
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Use Zoe Foster’s fringe theory! I have ringlet hair and it works. Seriously. So easy.
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What is zoe foster fringe theory?
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Could Zoe or someone do an article on the various issues with cosmetics like formaldehyde? I love Dr Lewinn’s Revitanail, it is the only thing that stops my nails cracking etc but I know it has formaldehyde in it. I’ve got no idea how much is safe to use etc.
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It used to contain it but it has been reformulated, my hairdresser told me it was more dangerous for the person applying it.
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H
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Hi,
I jus saw your post (sorry – mamamia kept freezing on me).
I am thinking of getting it done (i have uncontrollable curls) Have you had your whole head done? Is it as fabulous as they say, does it last long etc?
Sorry for all the questions – I don’t want to mess it up and then have to wait another 10 years for it all to grow out!
Thanks
E
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OMM #2 As I am being greedy today!
I am going to Sydney fort he first time on Sunday for a week (much excited).
MM’ers what are the awesome sights and eateries (massive foodie)?
Any cheap shopping areas?
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I’ve asked around the office, and here are some top places:
Bondi Markets (on a Sunday) – Mia
Glebe Markets – Jam
Manly – Nat
Enjoy!
-MM Moderator Megan
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Thank you! I think I may take a half empty suitcase with me
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If you are into chinese food/yum cha, you cant go pass all the little places in China Town.
And if you want a really old school Asian food court feel, try Dixon house Food court (big long share tables with lots of little ‘hole in the wall’ places to buy from).
And dont forget to get some Emperor puffs (custard filled balls) from Dixon St either.
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I adore those cream puffs. Especially because the sign said, “Enjoy nice time by specially fine taste.” at least it did last time I was there.
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LOVE MONA! So very cool.
Mia can we see the fringe?
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Mia’s on it now! She’s just taking a photo, it should be up soon – I’ll keep you posted.
-MM Moderator Megan
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It’s a bit pathetic…
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We think it looks great
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Love it Mia… it’s a bit like mine, kind of a half, non-committal fringe. Easing yourself into fringe-land and easy to grow out if you change your mind. Not that you should – looks great!
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OMM: How early is too early to meet your partner’s kids from a previous relationship? I’ve just started going out with this amazing guy. He is perfect in every way and I can definitely see a future together but we have only been together for three weeks and he wants me to meet his three year this weekend. Is it too soon? I worry not only for me but mainly for his son.
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yeah thats a bit too early it think. He is probably really excited as you are. Talk to him, tell him its too much pressure because i have been there and finding out the guy you are really into is a crap / useless / pandering / weekend father is the pits. Things probably would of been different if we took the time to get to know each other and expectations and parenting ideas.
Not at all saying your guy is the above……..take your time.
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Sloooooooowwww…..
Take your time, honestly. I’ve done this the right way – and the wrong way. I’d say give it a good 6 weeks, 2 months easily – make sure you guys are solid. And hey – enjoy being a couple! Once you start seeing each other with kids – thats it – you guys will be forever hanging out with the kids.
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Oh 3 weeks is waaaayyy too soon, especially for such a little child. And I don’t think the little ones mum would be too impressed about that either. If it’s going to be a long term relationship better off in mums good books and not an enemy.
It’s a great sign the he wants you to meet his child, but out of respect for the child I think you should wait until you’re in a committed, looking towards permanent relationship before you meet the child. It will be too confusing for a baby and at such an early stage of your relationship my suspicion would be what his motivation is…..is he just trying to piss his ex wife off?
Also, you need time to be together as a couple, without chasing after a 3 year old.
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Do what you think is right.
My fiance and I met, went on our first date two weeks later, and the following night I met his then 3-year-old daughter. Fast mover!
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I’m curious to know how all your balls tumbled down this week Mia. Or perhaps to personal to share.
Having a great week. Off to a party down the coast this weekend, with some GREAT food. Very excited.
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OMM: Work. Management is going ahead planning all these jobs, getting updates of the date changes etc and only telling me well after the fact. So when I have to organise said jobs, it is a scramble and rather stressful.
So MM readers: How would I approach this person to tell them to copy me in on everything relating to jobs and/or telling me straight away the information they receive that I need to know, without being disrespectful?
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Can you ask to have visibility of their inbox? Or maybe you can set up a group email account for dealing with client requests? It means you have two inboxes to keep an eye on but we do that at my org and it really helps with the team staying informed without much effort on anyones part as the clients don’t have to know who to cc in – they just reply to the box.
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No, that isn’t an option sadly! Apparently this person is well known for this and everyone has been putting up with it for ages.
I still kind of new and think its absurd!
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I am a notorious stress-head and now with a wedding to plan I am seriously concerned all the preparations will stress me out and I won’t be able to enjoy being engaged or even the wedding day.
So I was hoping you ladies could offer some good advice for planning a wedding – what to do and what not to do!
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Write down everything that needs to be done, then organise it into some sort of time line. Go online and find online wedding organisers I’m sure there are 100′s to make it easier. Delegate tasks if you can so you don’t feel like everything is piling up on you.
Hope that helps!
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Start drinking
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Way ahead of you
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Just remember even tho its a special day dont focus to much on the day itself its the marriage and being with your soul mate that is the most special part!
and go big on the things that matter like a photographer to capture the memories 
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Start planning and ticking things off the list as early as possible. I’ve been engaged since mid last year and am getting married next month. The last months have been so cruisy because I’ve been organised, and once something is planned, I tick it off and move onto the next thing.
Good luck with it all! And if it gets too much, enlist the help of your friends. Mine have loved being involved (or so they’ve said haha)
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So being organised seems to be the best thing!
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Just try to figure out the things that are TRULY important to you about the day (maybe you care about the cutlery, maybe you dont?), and then just make a quick decision on the rest (dont agonise for months over whether the salt and pepper should be in shakers or dishes – unless u really care).
Maybe you could start a ‘debrief diary’ containing all the useless advice and opinions given by others, as well as the ridiculous questions you get asked. And write in it every time u start feeling stressed – I imagine it will make for hilarious reading after the wedding. Or maybe even as part of the wedding speeches ……….
Goodluck, and enjoy this time.
And dont hesitate to ask for advice/help if you need it.
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A ‘debrief diary’ seems like a great idea!!!!
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Make a list with your fiancee of the things most important to you (for us it was good food, lots of dancing, fun photos).
Next MAKE A BUDGET! Assign dollar values according to whats important to you from step 1. This also gives you a list of everything you need to organise.
Finally pick a theme. If you have a theme it makes all the decisions so much easier, and you end up with a coordinated wedding. (ours was fairytale forest)
Along with all the above advice of relax, enjoy etc, I would also suggest adding things that are unique to you and your husband, for a more personal wedding.
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I’d also add – dont believe all the horror stories. We had a fun, inexpensive, stress free wedding and loved the lead up, the big day, and the married life after.
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OMM: I’m torn between two apartments. Buying is really difficult!
OMM: Insight last night… wow. great episode
http://xxxmissvxxx.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/insight-punch-drunk/
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I love Insight at the best of times but last night it was especially good – in a sad, confronting way.
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I know. What really got me was just how sad everyone in the audience looked when they spoke and when David Mitchell spoke and his lips were quivering the entire time.
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It was particularly fantastic last night. My hubby got home half way through it and we didn’t say a word to each other until the end. I found it incredibly sad, but also incredibly scary, I just kept thinking, how do I raise my son to be a kind respectful man in today’s society?
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OMM: Playgoup and lazy parents. Purpossefully turning up late and leaving early every week so as to avoiud helping settin up and packing up. Never offering to have their turn at morning tea. Secretly not paying the $2 fees. Not helpng with any fundraising or toy clean nights. Its always the same parents doing everything
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Do we go to the same Playgroup? I’ve asked for someone to take over from me as day leader next year…volunteers 0, crazy excuses (I’m busy with a toddler, ah yeah SO AM I!!!!) eleventy billion!
Arghhh!
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Just resign. Someone will step up.
I was President of our pre-school for four years as I heard the same excuses over and over. In the end I just resigned and bingo – we had a new president.
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For the last week I’ve been fighting off a cold, ie a dry cough that was going nowhere other than for the kill of my throat.
Today I give up. While I thought I was getting better I’ve spent the entire night coughing as this cold insists I don’t lay down to rest. Last night I didn’t sleep either as my back decided its had enough of carrying a pregnancy – oh yeah, did I mention I’m 34 weeks pregnant which means I’m not sleeping the best anyway. I also have a toddler and a husband who’s too busy polishing his boat and playing squash to help out at home.
I’m done, I give up, wake me up when it’s all over… Or alternatively when I can take some decent drugs again.
That’s it, rant over, I’ll go back to bed now.
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Dkmum, are you me?!!! Can you spend the day in bed? I’ve just spent last friday and yesterday in bed trying to fight off a cold/feeling run down. Being 35 weeks and not being able to take anything SUCKS BALLS!! Had my toddler up 3-4 times monday night then up with back pain and heartburn last night. Agggghhhhhh you’re not alone, I feel your pain. Take care of yourself x
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I feel your pain. I’m 36 weeks and getting a cold. It’s only a little cold but on top of 30 weeks nausea it’s just too much. Too much you hear me body. I just want this over NOW!!!!!!!!!
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OMG there are more of us!!!!
I’ve thrown in the towel, I’m not touching the dishes, staying home from work, toddler in daycare and I have just slept the last three hours on the couch.
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A House for Yen
OMM is my recent visit to Vietnam to research a new book where I was profoundly touched by the
plight of one little girl.
“I’ve been brought to a flimsy hut in the tiny rural Duy Vinh region of Vietnam by staff from an Australian-run charity, Children’s Hope in Action (CHIA).
The hut is held together by a collection of bamboo stakes and skinny concrete poles. Rats, cockroaches and mosquitoes inhabit the house along with an extended family. Five children share one bed, crowded onto a thin wooden frame with no mattresses, blankets or pillows.
There is no kitchen, just a small pile of branches on top of broken bricks outside the back door and one blackened pot. It’s primitive, the smell of the outdoor toilet thickening the air.
This family is on CHIA’s waiting list for a new house and one of the children receives an educational scholarship from the charity.
I ask one of the daughters about her sister and she explains that the younger girl has joint problems, but no one is really sure what’s wrong with her. It’s frustratingly difficult to get any information.
For me the story becomes personal. I want to help Yen. Back in Australia I begin sponsoring her education and I’ve started raising the $5000 it will cost to build her family a new home.
Will you help me?”
https://www.facebook.com/HouseforYen
Follow my blog michellehamer.wordpress.com
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