Thrilled to be opening up this post today. I have so much on my mind and what better way to get it off my chest than right here?
First a look at what’s been going on behind the scenes in the office.
The delightful Jess Rudd stopped by the office to catch up.
Office Video
Yesterday we tried to shoot some footage for a video that we are making (more details soon). I always thought that I was a pretty good actress – I mean how hard can it be? But Lord, put a camera near me and I just become stupid. And loud. And my South Africa accent goes up about 100 notches so that I sound like I got off the plane from Johannesburg yesterday afternoon. The worst part is that I didn’t have to act – just be myself. It turns out that I am not very good at being myself on demand.
Eating vegetables
I have become a bit obsessed with my child eating vegetables. It is ridiculous how excited I get when I see green food on the end of his fork.
The push to get proper nutrients into him is becoming increasingly difficult as he grows older and finds great delight in orange chips that turn your tongue blue (turns out that they also turn everything that they come into contact with blue). And maybe just as bad – you can now get your vitamins in chewing gum form. Yes, in a bid to show me how much emphasis he puts on a balanced healthy diet he came home with vitamin infused chewing gum. Really? What ever happened to fruit and vegetables?
The Vegetable Song (tweet @totallyeustus) from Si Bennett on Vimeo.
Was this the downfall of the vegetable? Did it eat itself?
Someecards
I have been seeing a lot of these ecards popping up around the net (you can find them here) – although I have never sent one myself, well not yet anyway. Some of them are downright hysterical and most of them are rather politically incorrect. Take a look and see what you think
Family
My family seems to be growing bigger all the time and no one is having any babies. My mother has just come to live in Australia and my father is visiting for a couple of weeks. Having my parents here again is quite a strange experience. After living in a different country to them for almost 20 years having them back here makes me feel like a child again. It also makes me feel very very tired. They can’t seem to get enough of having dinners together. I just wish that there were more hours in the day – or a clone that could do dinners every night.
The linen
I found this linen on Hurricane Vanessa yesterday and I cannot explain how much I love it. This is not a real dog – it is a print on the linen.
Found anything that you love lately? Share it with us
So that’s what’s on my mind this week. Over to you
Comments
270 Comments so far
OMM: I’ve made a few comments on Mia’s fighting with strangers post because i think it highlights a Zeitgeist in my life. Every where i turn at the moment i am getting unsolicited advice or comments, it’s beginning to make me blisteringly angry. Last nigh around ten i was walking home from the train station i am normally mindful of who is walking around next to me as a safety thing i crossed the road and jumped (in heels) over some tree branches up the nature strip only to hear a voice behind me say “it’s ok you didn’t look awkward” i looked to see a man in his forties unkempt and carrying shopping grinning at me. I told him i wasn’t concerned about it and walked off. I practically ran all the way home and stooped on the corner of the street, while as a pedestrian i have right of way i have gotten to a point where i just wait until it’s clear because you never know if someone will decide you don’t have right of way and either run you down or abuse you. The same man came from behind and told me off for waiting for traffic as did one of the cars i let go. This morning on my way home from the city i got abused and tooted because i stopped at the curbed to take my keys out of my bag before proceeding across the street distracted. Earlier today i was trying to take my bike to be repaired after the painter for the apartment block tried to smash my lock off and bent the chan guard ( he was told to clear out a property because my bike was locked up OUTSIDE but vaguely adjacent he decided to try to take it) while trying to change trains i couldn’t get on any where as no one would move out of the doors t o allow me on. So i decide to wait for the next where i was set upon my and elderly man in a fluro vest telling me i am supposed to get on the last carriage (which i would have but the train was bout to leave and i couldn’t make it to the end of the train in time). I asked him politely to leave me alone i didn’t no need to be lectured to i had done nothing wrong and was politely waiting for the next train he then screamed “I was just trying to to help you woman!!!!!” i said “why because i am a woman and tooo stupid to know any better??” He replied ” you could have been from out of town and i was trying to be helpful” i asked me to leave me alone and he continued to shout about how ungrateful i was. CHEESE AND RICE!!!! PEOPLE!!! . I know most of you would think i am being unreasonable but since when is wanting to be left in peace a crime since when is your desire to tell people how to live more important than their own choices???
I remember reading once that the definition of a democracy was that your right to swing you fists about ends where my nose begins………sage advice now i just have to make a t-shirt that says it!.
Other than that i handed in my first assignment for my Dip Ed and realised that i am desperately and stupidly in love with some one *sigh*
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Okay I am struggling !
I am 23 and have had depression/anxiety issues since 11 or 12 years old.
Was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder a couple of years ago but not sure if its accurate or not.
Everyday i am either in depths of depressive despair or experiencing high levels of anxiety/panic
It seems impossible that I will get better and I feel stuck, overwhelmed and terrified
Sometimes my mind feels so unstable and overwhelming, with strong feelings of despair, suicidal thoughts or panic
It is SO scary because it feels as if i cannot rely on or trust my mind and I worry what will happen in the future
I have strong fears about the future and how will I possibly cope? Especially with things like my parents or sister dying and getting older and dying myself.
I have been to so many psychiatrists, psychologists etc and feel as if I am worse than ever!
Has anyone experienced anything similar and could give me some advice/hope?
What is pressing at the moment as I need to move out of my grandmother’s where I am staying and I am TERRIFIED about living alone or with strangers as I don’t feel strong/stable enough..but there doesn’t seem to be any other options :S
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wish I had the right words to offer you comfort.
take care and keep sharing with us if it helps
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Everything’s been a bit crap recently. Everything was going SO well & then…depression relapse. I feel so angry like I should have prevented this or something. Not sure how to go about getting out of this situation.
I was scheduled by the police a few weeks & taken to emergency & assessed. I managed to negotiate for no admission at that time, but ended up admitted over this last weekend & it was just awful. Very detrimental & degrading experience. My GP’s freaking out about my eating disorder (ironically enough, severely relapsing into that has lifted my mood so the depression has abated a little). Threats of admissions in the ED unit here which I absolutely won’t go unless there literally is no other choice.
I asked to take a few weeks of work, which became a month & now my GP won’t medically clear me to go back to work. I got booted from my course for the year (although I can negotiate to go back mid-year if I am well enough). I just feel like I’m clutching at straws here & everything feels like it’s collapsed around me. No idea where my life is heading. Trying to have faith & patience that the universe will do what it needs to.
still blogging. Consistently surprised how many hits it’s actually getting. I was retweeted by Charlotte Dawson the other day so that sent hits through the roof. http://stethescopesandivlines.wordpress.com
Friends are being amazing. Just hard when they try to be carers as well as friends. I don’t want that. Things *must* look up from here I guess.
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I’m a day late, but what the hey, I’m actually MONTHS late with this post…been on a bit of a net hiatus.
OMM: Stunned that I made it through the first part of IVF and wondering how the second part will go. No amount of reading prepared me for how it was in reality. I thought the needles and out of control hormones would be the worst, but in fact, I was in a great mood the whole time because I felt I was being proactive. Then, after the egg-collection surgery, I was one of the unlucky few who had the dreaded ovarian hyperstimulation. Oh my god…sheer hell…but I survived.
And at least now we have 4 ‘good looking’ embros on ice, waiting for me to recover before we start playing lucky dips…of course there’s not much else on my mind…please let it all have been worth it.
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Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.
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Good luck! Hope you end up having success with your FET, and maybe still one or two left for later!
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Chemistry at uni, argh it’s driving me insane, especially when they come up with random questions that they didn’t even teach you.
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OMM: I feel as if I cannot get a break with friends. I always get the dud ones or the ones that don’t stick around. I was bullied in high school, went to Uni and thought it would change, met a group of girlfriends that I thought would be it forever and has an argument with the queen bee and then was ousted. Starting again at 22 is really really hard. Any advice MM readers?
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- Explore different types of people – it may be that you’re attracted to the type of girls (friend wise) who are nasty or fickle.
– Also, pursue new friendships – it’s like building any new relationship – you need to put yourself out there. Ask people for coffee, for a drink, what have you.
– Be good to be around. Be positive. See the upside in things. Make the best of every situation. No one wants to have their energy drained by someone who’s whinging about how everyone and everything sucks (not suggesting you do this, just general advice)
– Involve yourself in lots of activities where you could make friends. Theatre at uni, part time jobs, gym classes, bootcamps, whatever. People have friends from all kinds of places.
Finally, it’s better to have no friends for a time than crap friends. Crap friends bring you down. You’ll find them, just work on being a good person and they’ll come! Good luck xx
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Thank you so much for your comments! I really appreciate it! I was starting to think that I am just alone in this one. I recently left my new job of 4 months to go back to my old place because of severe bullying and she thinks I’ve lost my back bone and it has softened me… So determined to just fulfill a successful life
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Hi there,
Where do you live? There’s a bunch of MM readers meeting up that are your age in Melbourne, we can add you to the list. I just met someone the other week off here for coffee, it’s a new adventure meeting someone new, and like the comment below says, perhaps people you wouldn’t normally gravitate to.
Damn the queen bee!
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I live in Sydney. This sucks.
Would have loved to meet up with you all
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Hey Cassidy, I’m in Melbourne. When and where are you guys meeting up?
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Hey hey, I’m not sure where it’s all going on at the moment, whether the girls ending up agreeing on a date/time, but email me at chickyfishy@hotmail.com and I can add you to the email chain they’ve got going on.
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OMM: so much swirly round in my little mind! I’m having a tough time at work! I have been applying for so many jobs with nothing (this has been after a month or two). I feel like my job is changing my personality and I’m constantly stressed and frustrated.
I just need a vent and a hug. I know it’s a first world problem.
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Where is the mamamia office? I see boats outside the windows in some of the photos
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Mia – where did you get that great top from that you have on in the photo with Jess Rudd? Love it!
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What’s on my mind is that I’m getting married in 3 days and the excitement hasn’t hit me yet. Eek. Bad bride…
Don’t get me wrong – I’m looking forward to it (obviously), but I feel like I’m letting everyone down with my lack of nerves/crazy levels of excitement. Everyone’s shocked at how “calm”, “organised” and “relaxed” I am and I’ve found myself overcompensating for this when talking to people – because of the looks and comments I’ve been getting. We’ve been together 10 years this year, it’s only a small wedding that’s nice and simple… Why the heck should I be freaking out?!
Feeling like a bit of a bride failure right now.
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All the best for the wedding and a long and happy life together!
xxxooo
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I wasn’t nervous for my wedding, at all. I kept thinking I “should be” nervous, but that’s when I realised that I WASN’T nervous because I was so sure we were doing the right thing. I would see your lack of nerves as confirmation of your happiness!
Hope you have a wonderful day. xo
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The ridiculous mark up on clothes/accessories in Australia is making me cranky tonight.. Looking at Tiffany Aviators I have pinned on pinterest, they are $220 in America. And $450 in Australia. Same with Ray Bans. I tried some on in store the other day at $320… I’m finding them online for $150. Argh!
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I’m half way through my maternity leave and want to weep thinking of leaving little lad for three days a week in four more months.
I thought this would be better, with Red Rocket I was self employed and didn’t have to be separated from her til she was 15 months. It was exhausting working full time from the day she was born, working when she slept during the day and then late into the night but I never had to leave her.
Trying to enjoy the fact taht this time there is eight months without work and not permanently panic about the end of that. I miss working, but I want to take him with me! This time that isn’t an option.
Talk about grass is always greener….last time I was jealous of those who had a maternity leave lol
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It’s a real grief and needs to be addressed. It’s ok to talk of the choices that the feminist movement has given us but how many women now have to leave their babies – not because they want to but because they have to. Why do we have to have two incomes to survive now when our parents didn’t have to? Why is housing and cost of living making it impossible to take a couple of years off? It’s so sad.
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Even if we lived off one income it would be mine and I like working. I couldn’t be a full time SAHM, Red Rocket is driving me mad. There is no hidden pre school teacher inside me lol.
But Little Lad will be little. And I feel its unfair that Red Rocket got to be with me and not go to child care (and then only 2 days) until she was 15 months old. And with Red Rocket I felt guilty because she very often had to entertain herself whilst I worked.
For my own reasons I’d never stop working, just wish there was a miraculous way to keep Little Lad with me for 12 months instead of 8. He is pretty darned cute
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Should think more about the fact that by three months old Red Rocket was a frequent flyer and Little Lad and I have spent hours lying on the back lawn chatting to each other.
Should be more grateful that I’ve done most of my breastfeeding on my comfortable couch and not on planes/in meetings/all over the shop.
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On my mind:
A friendship going sour. One of my few close friends (of 8 yrs) is being really passive-aggressive and weird. Our kids go to the same school, and this year I moved rental houses, and found I was living close to a great public school.
With Mr4 due to start kindy next year, I discussed with Mr7, and decided that next year both kids would go to the local school. Our new neighbours have kids similar ages that go to that school too, and I though I would be sad not to see my friends at school pick ups, I decided it would be best for our family to go to the local school (we could walk there as a family which will be fun, and save on petrol!).
I mentioned this news to said friend, and she’s acting like I’m doing this to hurt her. She has indicated that she will no longer have time to continue our friendship if I move the kids, and keeps asking me why I’m doing it, like there’s some secret reason I haven’t told her. I’ve made it clear to her that I value her friendship and our kids friendship and I want to keep catching up with her during the day, and play dates after school (her child & my child don’t actually play with each other at school, it’s a boy/girl thing). I’m hurt and bewildered that she doesn’t seem to value our friendship unless it’s convenient for her.
On the plus side, I love our new rental, and our new neighbours, and our big backyard just begging to have vegie gardens and fruit trees planted.
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I would like to share an ABC News (US) show that a friend linked me to on Facebook. It’s called, “What Would You Do?” and you can view various segments on Youtube.
They essentially set up scenarios with actors to see if laypeople will do what’s “right”. E.g. will they step up to support the battered woman being verbally abused by her partner in a restaurant, or speak out when a bakery owner refuses to serve a Muslim customer because she’s “a terrorist”, or stand up to people bullying a gay person, etc.
I have watched about 15 difference scenarios now…some leave me feeling like my faith is renewed in humanity (when people stepped up to help the plainly dressed battered woman) to dashing my faith (when people didn’t step up to help a battered woman when she was dressed sexily, and didn’t step in to help a male victim).
Anyway, I recommend you watch it.
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Wow sounds fascinating ! Off to youtube I go..
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I’ve totally been sucked into the “What would you do”? youtube vortex! I love it. It’s REALLY interesting, and definitely makes me think about what I would do in certain situations. One of my favourites was when a group of sassy young teen girls stood up for a kid being bullied for being gay. I wanted to high five them and give them all big hugs!
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Okay, have to get this off my chest.
OMM: Do I get my perfectly healthy breasts removed sooner rather than later? I am 22 and I found out I had the BRCA gene at 19. I am getting married to the love of my life later this year, have a great job, studying what I love. It’s just these damn boobies….
I have already had enough of the constant tests and MRIs, the worry, the thinking “will they find something this time?” My fiance is very supportive either way so that’s not a worry. I guess my biggest worry is not being able to breastfeed my future children (which I think are about 8 years away anyway). And also the physical appearance after surgery is not pretty. It’s strange to say this, but I really love my breasts. They are nice! I feel like I would be losing everything that makes me a woman if I had them removed. But then I feel like….Fk it! I just want to do it.
I rarely talk about this because it’s so hard for anyone to understand how it feels.
Sorry for the rant. Phew. Feels good to have written that down. Love and light to all xxxx
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I’m so sorry you have to make such a tough decision. For my random stranger two cents worth, breastfeeding is great, but having a healthy, cancer free mummy is more important to a child.
Glad your fiancé is supportive.
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I can’t possibly know what it feels like to face having a part of your body removed but for what it’s worth here goes:
You want those babies, be healthy enough to have them. I breastfed four children for 18 – 21 months each but my fifth child went straight on the bottle and thrived! MUCH easier than breastfeeding, much healthier and is now a bright, high achieving nine year old. I know you will miss the experience but in the BIG picture…?
Won’t it be nice to not have to think about it anymore? To get it over with and be free to enjoy all the good things coming your way?
Whatever choice you make all the very best and good luck for the wedding and everything.
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have you seen the interview that mia did with girl who has had a very similar experience? can someone on MM help out with a link?
from memory she was involved in a foundation, so you may even be able to contact her directly.
if it was me? i’d lop them off. but watch the interview first, i am sure this girl was having regular scans for a while, before she had the surgery.
regarding breastfeeding, your children would want you to live to a ripe old age over breastmilk any day. and remember there are definite benefits to formula feeding, it is great for dad’s and other family members, you can get out a bit easier, they can sleep over at grandparents earlier and i think they sleep better too! don’t get me wrong i am very pro-breastfeeding but i think you have very strong reasons for (potentially) not being able to do it. i also remember watching a jane mcgrath interview (on andrew denton’s enough rope, it would still be online somewhere) where she said she successfully fed all her children post-mastectomy. i have no idea how that was possible, but might be worth looking into.
all the best with your decision. i am sure you will know when it is the right time. but in the meantime speak to as many people as possible who have been there, and maybe even investigate the post-op reconstruction options.
all the best xx
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Here you go
http://www.mamamia.com.au/health-wellbeing/mia-chats-to-krystal-barter-from-pink-hope/
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This.
Why I love MM so much….Thank you for all your lovely replies xxxxxxx
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I know that it is possible to feed after a breast reconstruction. Just so you know.
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OMM: I’d like to be an egg donor. I’m 33, in good health and have just had my third child (and i dont intend to have anymore of my own) I’m OK with being tracked down at a later stage. I would like to hear from anyone who has been through this and what they think. And how do you choose who gets your egg and whether they will be good parents?
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My husband and I have our beautiful daughter thanks to a sperm donor & IVF, so I just wanted to say I hope you do donate, it is an amazing gift. I try extra hard to be the best mum I can be, because I know I am so lucky to have her.
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Sorry, that was me, eternally
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good on you. i hope you get to give someone the most amazing gift. it just occurred to me how much easier it is for blokes to do the equivalent…
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Hi Jenna, I was in your position when I was 33. I had finished having my family and thought seriously about it too. I went and had a chat with my wonderful GP who made me consider all sorts of things I hadnt thought about and made me aware of the risks involved to my health. Anyway, I decided not to proceed because I was too selfish, I had issues with the eggs/baby still being mine and not being prepared to hand my eggs over to just anybody and not being able to determine the sort of life the child would live.
If you can deal with all of that, I think you are doing a wonderful thing. I would start with your GP or Obstetrician first. Good luck!
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OMM: I’m planning a trip to USA with my best friend at the end of the year!! I’m so excited to be in NYC for Christmas and New Year. Any suggestions for good places to visit would be fab, we’re going to LA, San Francisco, Vegas, NYC, Orlando and Miami.
OMM2: I have uni assignments coming out my ears!! Must they all be due at the same time??
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i was in NYC for new year in 2011! actually it had just snowed well we had a massive blizzard come through and all the cars and streets were waist high in snow it was the best thing ever!!! id recommend you go to Soho and Greewich Village best food and vintage clothes in those places!! ^_^
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Definately do the theme parks in Orlando! I only had the time to do one of them in Orlando so it ended up being Universal Studios because my friend LOVES Harry Potter and it was sooo much better than the LA one. The Univeral in LA is good but Orlando had way more rides. Would of loved to of gone to Walt Disney World but didnt have the time although i spent 3 days at the one in California and absolutely loved it!!
Let me know if you have any questions about anything as ive been to all the places your going to, some of them i’ve been lucky enough to go twice =)
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OMM 1 – writing. Dredged up and dusted off the bones of a novel I was working on about 2 years ago and am (unexpectedly) liking what I’m reading! Shocking because normally I get completely embarrassed by things from a while ago (like a diary from when I was infatuated with a guy called Nathan at the cringe-worthy age of 15… *shudder*)
OMM 2 – Adoring my fiance and our life and our new house and our puppy.
OMM 3 – The one-and-only ‘what if’ guy re-surfaces after over 12 months absence only to put that annoying shadow of doubt over fiance/life/new house/puppy. And the realization that no matter how often I get everything together, I’ll always have the fragments of a crush on him.
OMM 4 – MISSING BRISBANE – damn I love that city.
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There’s a Mecca Bah in Canberra too – I love it!
I miss Brissie too! I’m thinking of moving there next year, if all goes to plan…
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Omm: when did guys start insulting each other so much using the word ‘Gina’ – short for vagina. I first noticed it on Facebook then heard men at work saying it today! Apparently it’s the new, Commen insult. Grrrrr. Why is women’s genitalia (sp) always an insult!
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To be fair, we’ve all been saying dickhead forever…
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And Cockhead and Prick too….
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A girlfriend just called to ask if I had anything she could wear to a black tie do in a couple of weeks. I remembered a gorgeous black formal skirt and top I wore years ago, currently stuffed in a suitcase. Upon opening said suitcase I re-discovered an entire wardrobe of amazing clothes from my travels in Europe. If only it was 12 years, 2 children and 20+kg ago!!! I could barely fit a calf into some of the pants! God knows why I still have them all.
Am so depressed.
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Just bought one of those “you beaut” cold press juicing machines. Have been juicing anything and everything that is a fruit or vegetable with interesting results. Pure, raw beetroot juice is sensational. Add the leaves and stalks….it’s like….yechhhhhhh ! Carrot,peach, celery and apple is heavenly.
Now, seriously….can anyone tell me why cans of softdrink just suddenly explode for no reason ? We’ve gone right off the “heavy” sugary varieties and so for the past eight months or so a couple of cartons have sat under the house, undisturbed. Looked down to find that around a dozen cans were oozing all over the place, and by the looks of it, had been doing so for some time. Not fun to clean up.
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You think cans of soft drink explode? Wait till that juice starts working!!
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Ahhh – that my man of 10 yrs has had an online mistress for the past 12 months! Questioning everything about love & life and really missing my best friend who with 3 little ones struggles to have the time to throw me her shoulder
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That’s awful.. thinking of you x
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Oh Claire – my heart goes out to you
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Yes know the feeling. Sorry. That’s really unfortunate. I understand.
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Bastard!
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Best: Still pregnant! 10 weeks. Am going for a dating/reassurance scan this week. Morning sickness is easing too – yay!
Best: Pulled off a cracker b day party for my son last w/e. Weather was great, and everything went according to plan….
Worst: daydreaming about starting my own business, but realistically cant till bub is older due to lack of time & hubby working super long hours. Will put it out of my mind for now.
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i love this post, but i really miss Mia writing them. Mia – what happened?
tell me about your week!
edit: I’m trying to decide on a return visit to gwinganna or try gaia – i think you’ve been to both….. thoughts? thanks
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Agreed! Oh and good question on health retreat. I always like hearing experiences!
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I had a call back after my mammogram and have spent the day having an ultrasound and then a biopsy as I have a suspicious lesion. Hoping for a good outcome but I have that niggling uncertainly that I could have breast cancer. I’ll deal with it if that happens. The worst thing is waiting for the results. Sitting down wth a nice cup of tea now and reading mamamia posts to relax.
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Fingers crossed that you receive good news, Pamela311.
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Best of luck with your results. Whatever they may be, remember that you’re strong and that you’re only dealt things that you can handle. xx
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With respect, Young Vintage, some of us are dealt things we can’t handle. All good wishes and best hopes to you, Pamela311.
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OMM: CoWorker who is a lovely gentle person but absolutely crap at the type of work we do. she has no initiative and is happy to just hide behind what I do. She has been on holidays for a couple of days and am amazed at the crap work she does! sick of it and find it hard to hold my temper.
OMM2: my sick son. he is getting better thank goodness (however, he will always have this illness, so will need medication) but I am so broke from all the medical bills, I can’t see a way out. sick with worry and feel suffocated by the situation.
OMM3: am lonely. have been waiting for such a long time for a person who I thought was a good friend to assist me with getting in touch with her cousin who is an amazing man and I somehow know (don’t ask how) that we are right for eachother. but her excuse is that she is so busy and has so much to do that it’s just not a priority for her she assures me that this is the only reason.. All she has to do is email him or give me his email… sucks when you realise that this person whom you have been there for quite a few years and considered a good friend shows her real colours in your hour of need..
Sorry for the huge whinge.. Just feel overwhelmed.. Thanks for listening
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I’m sorry to be negative, but is there any chance that she’s making excuses for a reason? Could it be that she’s brought it up with him and he’s told her he’s not interested? She might be doing it to protect your feelings.
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Hi Me, I agree with anon. they’re trying to spare you’re feelings. best of luck on the next man! xx
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I would normally agree but I told her that I prefer to know if he doesn’t want contact and also asked her if it’s me, does she not want to introduce him to me.. She assured me that that’s not the issue, just that she has other things on her mind. I think she just doesn’t want to get involved which is not a nice feeling. I guess it’s a reflection on me the type of people Im surrounding my self with
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Sorry to raise this, but I only do because you have commented a couple of times on this friend /cousin issue.
I, like the other commentators, feel she is letting you know subtely, that he is not interested. Some people aren’t very good at being direct about these type of things.
If you don’t believe that , however, there is more than one way to skin a cat…why cant you get in contact with him yourself? People are so easy to contact these days.
Also, am wondering if you haven’t been introduced, how do you know that he is amazing and right for you? Perhaps your friend knows things about him and that don’t match your vision of him. Maybe she is trying to spare you?
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Happy Humpty Day!
OMM: im starting a new pill called Zoely and it uses natural hormones unlike most of the other pills which use synthetic ones…ive been having really bad cramps so i hope this new one works and doesnt make me sick…so bit nervous using a new one after 7 years on my other one!….
other than that its all good – work we have been having a few HR issues with some staff…..one lady at work verbally attacked our manager in a meeting in front of everyone it was really awkward for us…she did later apologise saying she chose the wrong moment…
so that is all ..
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how are ou going with Zoely?
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I’ve been doing Michelle Bridges program for 7 weeks and I’ve lost 5.9kg, am now under 60kg and my BMI is 25 – meaning I am no longer “overweight”, I am “healthy”. Still breastfeeding so i’ve done this whilst eating extra calories every day, just been exercising and having smaller portions. This is the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve lost 9.1% of my body weight. I joined the gym and I’ve been going great guns, who would ever have thought that exercising could be fun but with my new Polar heart rate monitor tracking every calorie I burn exercising I am a woman on a mission. This program rocks – am so proud of myself and am loving people saying “have you lost weight?”. Woohoo!!!!!! And I have no jeans that fit as they are all too big – this means a big shopping trip coming up and in the meantime I’m giving all my old clothes to charity so putting back on the weight is not an option!
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Congratulations!!!!! Im doing 12WBT too and loving it! Since official start I’ve lost 5kg
How good does it feel?!?!?! I know exactly what you mean about clothes not fitting, but im not ready to commit yet, im no where near goal.
Im addicted to my heart rate monitor though, i dont feel like ive worked hard enough unless its at least 500cal, good obsession i think
Well done Frankie, you should be very proud!!!
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Loooooove 12wbt!
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Can you tell me what heart rate monitor you use? I’ve been researching online lately, but so confused. I just want one that is a watch only (if this is possible) and tells me how many calories I burn. Thanks!
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I use a Polar FT4, it has the chest strap though. Its awesome! I dont really know of any that dont have strap though sorry
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12WBT is the best thing ever! All the best to you. How good are Mish’s mindset lessons?
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I’m fighting the urge to write the following in capitals….
I’m graduating from uni tomorrow!!!!
(ok so it’s the second time, but it’s still exciting)
That is all
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CONGRATULATIONS!
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CONGRATULATIONS FROM ME TOO xx
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Thanks guys :O) It was a fab day!
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this deserves capitals…
I MET MIA AND HER GORGEOUS BABY BOY ON THE WEEKEND!!
Still pinching myself as it has been a dream for over 6 years!!!
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Hey Katie!
I’m afraid he wasn’t being very gorgeous when we met you. He was being a nightmare! We didn’t last very long at the markets sadly. Glad you came over to say g’day. It was a pleasant diversion from his rolling tantrums!
M xxxx
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OMM: Feeling so alone with everything right now, even when talking to people it in the back of my mind that I’m going home to an empty house and that nobody is ever there when i need them. I’m tried of faking that its all ok, its getting draining
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You poor thing. Hang in there…..have you got someone to talk to?
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Thanks Chook, i have really amazing friends and family
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If you havent got anyone to talk to you must ring lifeline or similar, there are people who are always there for you.
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Thanks Lu, i have people around me to talk to but thank you very much for your concern. Its much appreciated!
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hang in there xxxx
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Thank you Lana
Fabulous job with this post btw!
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Long time reader, first time commenter! I’m appealing to the MM community for some love advice – hopefully some of you out there are more experienced in this area than myself.
I have been seeing a guy for 3 months. We met though friends and have had a fantastic time getting to know each other – drinks, fancy dinners, fun afternoons out. Lots of laughter (and also quite alot of sex, if I may be so crass). Now, very suddenly, he appears to have gone cold. taking a long time to reply to texts, always busy etc. It seems he’s not into it anymore (not that anything has been said) andmy gut is telling me it’s all over. What I don’t understand is that I saw him as recently as a week ago, and we had a great time. Suddenly he’s not into it. Im driving myself mad thinking about it. What happened??? Anyone have any thoughts? For some background, he is 7 years older than me, and I have been single for 3 years. Could feel myself starting to like-like him, and now it appears to have fallen in a heap. Anyone been in this situation before?? Help a sister out!
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I don’t think you should write off the relationship just yet. It’s possible that after the first flush of romance his shag induced euphoria may have worn off a little. And I don’t mean he is only after sex. He probably has just cleared his head a bit and is remembering he may have put other aspects of his life on hold while he was having such a great time with you.
I’d just continue making dates and seeing him before you make any rash decisions.
Good luck with it!
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Don’t freak out yet Shelia. He might just have a lot on his plate at the moment. Keep yourself busy being active, fun and fabulous. Be fun and breezy in texts and don’t harrass him. If he still likes you but has just been busy he’ll get back into contact soon. If he doesn’t, then you can put your energy into something else.
If I were you I’d be hitting up internet dating sites just to keep up the flirting and dating. All you need to get a date is another date, as they say! Or rather, confidence – which comes from having lots of dates!
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This has happened to me before and this is how I worked it out for me – might not work for you to do it this way but it might appeal to you.
1. If you feel comfortable enough, ask the friends that introduced you to each other what they know about him, what they think about him – they might have information that you aren’t aware of that explains things.
2. If you feel a coldness in him and you keep telling yourself to ignore it, that it doesn’t match up with the previous warmth you were sharing with him so how does that work (??) then, sadly, you’re probably sensing the coldness in him correctly. You can talk to him about it and just say that you’re feeling a coldness from him and see how he responds and see how you feel about his response. Are you two going to be able to talk constructively about stuff like this because you will need to if you’re going to be together long-term.
3. Or, if you don’t feel that you can talk to him, make up your mind if you want to deal with unexplained cold spells with someone for the rest of your life.
It’s hard, I know, but you are considering a deeper relationship with him and that’s a big thing in your life so you need to feel safe and secure with him. If you feel safe with him, then you’re free to be your real self and that’s what is the best thing in a relationship.
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Ok Sheila, it sounds to me like he’s playing games. Its time for you to take charge of your life and not let him have you hanging on his every action. You must not call him. Let him call you. Do not sms him. Let him sms you. Let him ask you out, do not initiate it yourself. I know it sounds old fashioned but men like to chase women and they like a bit of mystery. If you are texting and ringing him all the time there is no mystery and he doesnt need to chase you. He knows he has you.
To be fair he may have a lot on at work and be stressed but you will never know if you keep contacting him. Get really busy doing other things and let him chase you.
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Sorry but…..he’s just not that into you.
Men don’t ‘play games’. If they want to be with you they call – they don’t drop off the radar.
Trust your gut instinct – as sad as it is – it’s probably right.
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That’s exactly what I was going to say… He’s just not that into you.
If he is playing games don’t you play games too, don’t ask his friends or your friends about him; ask him yourself. Good luck!
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No advice – sorry. But a big warm welcome x
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hi. this actually sounds a lot like wat i did to a guy i was seeing. i was having so much fun with him, i invited him over for christmas with my family bcos his family is in melbourne. and then, he said he wanted to be more than wat we were, and i kinda shrugged it off, as i wasnt ready for a full blown commitment. all of a sudden, i was really short with him. i would take ages to answer his texts, and would lie about having plans so i didnt have to see him. on boxing day, i went clubbing and hooked up with a random, and he was at the same club! and went mental. we didnt speak for about week after that. (some other stuff came up that i wont share) but my point is, after i acted like i did, i realised that i did actually want to be with him. cos not seeing him after the clubbing incident made me miss him and want to see him. and two and a half years later, we are engaged and living together! so, hopefully things will sort themselves out with you and this guy.
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OMM- For the past year I’ve realized I let my ex go way to quick. I got impatient, I wanted to travel, buy a house, get married, have babies and he wouldn’t budge so I did all this with the rebound and I think it was a mistake.
I think if I wasn’t married and had a bub I’d be single again but the ring has me tied.
I’m thinking of starting a blog to write down all my feelings so I can get them off my chest and out of my head but I don’t know where to start.
Oh sigh
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I would suggest counselling before blogging and putting it all out there, especially if you were thinking of doing it without letting your husband know first. Him finding out (and everyone does eventually) the damage could be irrepairable.
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Crappy week… actually a crappy month. Our first IVF attempt failed. But we knew it would: i’d only produced one low quality egg despite being on the highest level of hormon stimulation. Then our doctor told us point blank that there is no point continuing trying with my egg quality: at 36 I am heading towards early menopause. We need to find a donor egg. I can’t face the thought of this. I have no idea what to do. And I have no one to talk to about it: it’s too raw, and the few times I’ve tried to talk about how I’m feeling to friends and family they make awful glib comments which I find unbearable.
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Hugs.
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I think you should consider talking to the counsellor at your ivf clinic. They can help with your feelings and your options. All the best.
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someone commented on this post about being an egg donor…not sure if you’re allowed but maybe you could contact her
best of luck to you. *HUG*
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I agree with Lisa. Access the counselling at your IVF clinic. Take care of you.
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I’m so sorry. People say really stupid things too, mostly their heart is in the right place, they just don’t know what to say.
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Totally need this therapy this week.
OMM – Money and health. Money is drying up quickly due to working part-time with two little boys and a house badly in need of renovation. Trying madly to reorganise finances to make sure we are getting the best bang for our buck.
Healthwise, I really want to do Tough Mudder in Brisbane next year but am already doubting my ability when really I should probably just shut up, train hard, eat right and do the damn thing.
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YOU CAN DO IT!!
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Omm.
Second jobs, finances. I am swimming with bills and tiny youth worker wage is just not cutting it. But finding a second job when I work so much is hard, and I adore my job, I don’t want to consider other options.
Being able to have access DSM tools (mental health diagnostics) I am constantly aware of mental health issues and the symptoms, lately, I’ve had some of those symptoms. Internal debate to do what I would do as a clinician and seek help, or whether is am being a little to concerned, because I know the effects?
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i also work in mental health and in this case i think you should take your own advice and talk to somebody about what’s worrying you. doesn’t have to be a psychiatrist or anything to start with , Lifeline if you need somebody to listen, and def your GP- ask for a referral to a mental health worker (psychologist, OT or social worker) through better access program if you need to. Support services are here for everybody not just our clients!!!
also if you have somebody you trust at your work you could always bounce it off them?
hope that helps
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I’m a nurse & have previously worked in MH. So important that you access support yourself. Find a GP who is MH friendly or find someone to chat to. It’s important to practice what you preach (& yeah, I know we’re always the best at avoiding doing just that!)
x
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I am up and down at the moment. I’ll talk to husband about how I feel about staying here in the US and that if we don’t do the baby thing soon it won’t be at all, etc. Then I’m miserable for a couple of days, then I snap out of it (read: push to the back of my mind) and I’m okay. I got sick of the cycle and made an appointment with the visa people here at uni, so we can find out for sure if we can even stay. From my research, I’m about 70% sure that we have to go home after our visa expires. For that, I feel bad about being glad.
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That’s good Rach. Knowledge is power and all that. At least once you know you can start making real plans.
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All I can think about is Ranger, Joe and Stephanie. I’ve inhaled the Stephanie Plum by Janet Evanovich books over the last few weeks, finishing book 12 this morning. I’m crushing on Ranger real bad. He’s fictional! I haven’t felt like this since Mr Darcy first came into my life.
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Hells yes! I have bought many of the books over the years. I just got back from the US where I bought another two (much cheaper there), and thought I had better do a stocktake. So last night I got them all out and realised I have 1,2 and 5-18. Including three Sevens and two Nines. Dammit! But I am totally a Ranger fan.
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I totally hear you. Ranger has it in spades all over Morelli.
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Babe.
Ranger is way cool.
But Janet Evanovich is not – she’s writing to a formula and has been since about book 7. I know it’s to keep us all on tenterhooks re Ranger -v- Morelli, but is there any real solution to this? Eh?
Did anyone see “One For The Money,” – movie? I missed it but noticed it had slime reviews…
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I first got into this series back in 2001. Such a great escape and yes Ranger and Morelli are hot (in my imagination Ranger is hotter though). Also got many laughs out of Lulu and grandma. Have to agree though that after book 10 it began to feel a bit repetitive. Still a fan though
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I’m feeling overwhelmed with work, home and study, yet feel paralysed and keep procrastinating because I just don’t know where to start.
Also, I’ve become ridiculously incensed by people’s comments on Facebook (those “fark off we’re full” type missives). One was made by someone who I wished was my FB friend, purely so I could unfriend them. Another I did unfriend.
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I thought it was just me experiencing a sudden influx of idiot Facebook people. This Fark off we’re full mentality seems to have reared it’s ugly head and the racism and stupidity of it infuriates me
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Ah, I have a bit on my mind. Last weekend, my boyfriend basically broke up with me, saying that he reaaaally enjoyed my company, but just felt he wasn’t “falling” for me. That he loves making me smile, hanging out with me and doing stuff with me, but he just didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about him. He was quite distressed and upset telling me these things, saying he didn’t want to hurt me at all.
That was in the afternoon, and later that night, he started messaging me, saying that he had been feeling sick and awful all day, and that he had made a big mistake. That he was so sorry for screwing around. That he realised that all of his good memories of the past however long have involved me. That he wants to see me again. That he’s never been as comfortable with someone else as he was with me.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel awfully conflicted. I really, really do enjoy his company. We laugh a lot when we’re together, and I felt like I was in the process of falling for him. But if we get back together now, it’ll take time to restore what has been broken. And part of me believes that if he wasn’t falling for me then, he mightn’t ever?
There is more to the story, I suppose. He’d just gone through a break up about a month before we met, and he was with her for while. She was never nice to him, and inconsiderate about his feelings, and when he mentioned he thought he might have depression, she brushed it off and didn’t care to ask about it, ever. I wonder if any of this has anything to do with what he expects a relationship to be like?
I’m so conflicted! I really like this guy, we get on well and and we have fun. I’m just not sure whether it is right. I think we probably jumped in too soon after he’d broken up with his ex-girlfriend.. So maybe we might try things again but go slower. I’m not sure. I feel pretty lousy about myself about it though, but he has tried very hard over the past couple of days to make me feel better.
Anyone? Please don’t say anything nasty but I do want to hear if anyone has anything to suggest.. Thank you!
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Hey Anon for now. He sounds like he isnt sure what he wants. Best thing he can have at the moment is time to sort his head out – whether it be getting over the previous ex, sorting out his feelings over you, or recognising if he does have depression. Never lose sight of what it is you deserve. If he is worth it, he needs to be sure so he doesn’t hurt you again. Best wishes x
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I did the exact same thing when i first jumped into a relationship, got a lil freaked out, convinced myself it wasn’t going anywhere.
Took a 2 day break to think about it and realized it was my head getting in the way, apologized profusely and thankfully he gave me another shot and it was a great relationship
Not sure if this helps because as we all know guys are wired different to girls, but essentially relationships come down to feelings and sometimes you can get them slightly confused initially. I wouldn’t give up on him yet
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My housemate got into a relationship with a wonderful man shortly after ending a long term relationship. She freaked out and broke up with the new guy soon afterwards…then spent two weeks moping about the house like a mournful zombie. She ended up begging him to come back and two years later she’s moving out to move in with him- yay!
I think you need to give it two or three weeks for him to become more certain of his feelings. Dumping someone you care about always feels disgustingly horrible, and it’s so much easier to cave to those feelings and just get back with the person.
So in the interests of protecting your feelings I think you should tell him you’re interested…if he still wants to have a relationship with you after three weeks apart.
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Thank you all so much for your responses! I’m seeing him tomorrow for the first time since and we’re going to work it all out.. Sigh. I hope it goes well! I’ve thought long and hard about what you all wrote and I think slowing it down and giving him time to think can only be a great thing.
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MM team! Mikey! OMM is how I can’t scroll through the galleries on here anymore using internet explorer at work, if I click on the pictures it opens up the picture like a link to a new webpage. It’s been happening for awhile now and I’m not sure if it is my computer or whether it’s something in the site.
Plus the pictures go all the way across onto the “today we’re talking about” midoovoolacky. It’s all fine when I use Google Chrome at home! Anyone else got this problem?!
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Yes I do!
I dont know whether it’s work internet restrictions but I have it on other galleries on some other sites, where I cant scroll the gallery.
I have to wait till I get home to go through the galleries
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On my mind: my maternity leave is finishing in a few months and I’m debating whether to go back to work or to be a stay-at-home mum while my son is little. I’m leaning towards staying at home but work has always been my identity. It’s a bit scary. Who will I be if I’m not working? I guess I’m going to find out. Has anyone else made this transition & how did it go?
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My eldest is now 13. I resigned at the end of my 12 month maternity leave 13 years ago and havent worked since. I’m only now at the stage where I feel ready, to start thinking about creeping back into the workforce part-time.
My decision was made by a few factors:- I grew up with a mum who worked fulltime and for our family it wasnt a positive experience and promised I wouldnt do that to my kids. And I didnt love my job, which at the time was strictly a full-time or not at all work environment so going back to a full-time job I didnt like wasnt something I was prepared to do.
It took adjustment and most importantly I had to learn to find enjoyment in the simple things.
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Thanks, Lu. I’m surprised to find myself leaning towards staying home as I always thought I’d go back. I guess I’m just going to try and take things as they come.
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Ok, another tip that helped me is to get up, shower, get dressed in nice clothes and do your hair and make-up – if hair and make-up is part of your daily work grooming. Nothing more depressing than being in sloppy clothes or pyjamas all day. I found that if I was well groomed I felt more positive and even the most boring days at home were ok because I felt positive. And put shoes on, not slippers shoes! If I walk around all day barefoot or with slippers on I feel like a slob.
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you’ll never regret staying home. it is hard and mundane and all those things but those early years go soooo quickly. it is hard to find who you are without work, but ultimately you get there, and work will always be there.
not everyone has this choice. grab it with both hands and run with it.
(in my totally biased opinion)
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I resigned from my job last month, though still have a few days to go from my maternity leave, and I haven’t regretted the decision yet. Though, I do know it’s early days. My daughter is almost 10 months old so that’s technically 10 months of staying at home and I love it. I too worried about who I would be if I wasn’t working. Would I just be a mum and that’s it? Luckily, I found a few ways to make me still feel like me.
When my Husband comes home from work I let him and my daughter catch up for about half an hour while I go have a shower/shave my legs/wash my hair/do a face mask/paint my nails, etc and that keeps me sane. I know not everybody likes that stuff but I love it. I also take some time to work on my novel or write a blog during the day. Saying all that I am one of those people who loves being home. I love playing games and having dance parties with my daughter so I don’t find it boring or anything.
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Hi Katherine, I have been at home since 2008, I had my boys close together (20 mths apart)
It was hard at first, I missed the social vibe of work, getting ready in the mornings, and the praise I used to get from my boss.
Over time I have made some really close girlfriends (mum friends) and have my own little network going on. And I have began to enjoy it more & more. Big boy turns 4 soon – I cant believe how fast it has gone. Do what your gut tells you & please don’t listen to anyone who is judgemental about your choice. You will always have critics! I still get the odd comment & judgement from friends which gets ignored by me these days…..
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I say stay home. I also have to return to work soon after maternity leave. There is not one part of me that wants to leave my child and go to work. I must as my salary is majority household income. Enjoy your position of being able to be a sahm.
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You’re so right. I’m lucky to be able to make this choice. Thanks all for the good advice.
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I gave up work 5 years ago when I had our first child, and did not return to work because we moved towns a few times. We now have our second child. I find the financial side of it difficult – not having my own income – but I love looking after my kids. I’m scared of being out of the work force for so long especially with so many people are finding it difficult to find jobs, but again, I am happy with my decision. It’s not always fun, but neither is work!
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Bird, I agree with you also. I’m in the same boat. Financially we have been able to do it by cutting corners and tightening belts (Aldi anyone? ) but I dont regret it for a minute. Although, I do see women who really love their paid jobs do really well with Part time work to get that balance.
Me staying home is really the best option for our family, and for me. We are currently in the process of figuring out how to get through his (financially) next 8 months or so of this year with my baby at pre school. Next year things will be a bit easier with her in Kindy.
I love being home with my girls.
Saying that, everyone has their own set of circumstances, and choices about work. Many of my friends adore having the adult outlet and career progression, that is a big factor in their choice. Their children are also happy and resilient – different courses for different horses!
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OMM – I am moving to London in two weeks with my hubby. I am very excited but also really nervous. 26 years old, married and still scared about moving away from my mum and girlfriends. What a sook!
It will be an amazing experience, but still… very daunting.
I am blogging about it in case anyone is interested: http://fromsydneytolondon.wordpress.com/
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Just subscribed to your blog! Looking forward to following your journey, I’m thinking about moving to London next year.
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Thanks Jess! Hope you find it useful then. Jx
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Good luck, Jules!
In what part of London will you be living?
My brother and his girlfriend have lived there for about four years and they love it. They do so much travelling – make sure you see as much as you can, because it’s all so close! They’ve been to Paris a few times, Croatia, Edinburgh, Portugal, the Greek Islands, Dublin, Belgium, Barcelona – amazing!
They love the shopping and the Portobello Road Markets. Make sure you check out a play or a musical on the West End – there’s so much to choose from.
Looking forward to following your blog.
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Thanks so much for your tips. No idea where I will be living yet, but that’s part of the journey I suppose!
I plan to include all your tips in my mental notebook and do them and more. Thank you x
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You will love London, it’s a great city! Get yourself a pocket sized London A-Z and get out there and explore on foot as much as possible x
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Thank you – I absolutely will x
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Achieved my first deliverable at work this week. That felt good.
One of my besties spotted (ex) bloke’s new online dating profile. So of course we had a look – nothing has changed. He is still in denial about his issues of availability etc. Good way to close the chapter, methinks..
New funny man is well and truly becoming a fixture. His son has been cooking us the most tremendous meals – lobster, surf and turf. Its lovely that he wants to impress and I feel so welcomed. Have come to the conclusion funny man is me with a dick! Never laughed so much. Blissful.
Oh! And I bought new handbags!!
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What’s on my mind is my divine ex bf. He wanted marriage and I wanted youth and freedom, so I can’t be with him, but I still miss him so much. I need to Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind myself!!
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Had an early gestation diabetes test- and got the all clear YAY!
My midwife appointment went well and saw an Ob who said they will work with me to try and get me a natural birth- I have very severe asthma and didn’t want to be told I had to have a c-sec. So happy! Just hope asthma doesn’t keep getting worse as then I will have to have one.
Heard baby’s heartbeat!!!!
Am utterly dismayed about men at the moment! I’m part of a facebook group of women due in September. There are about 80 of us. Already we have had 6 men leave their partners/wives! WTF? Most of these women have had a planned pregnancy and they get dumped? One guy left at 6 weeks, another left his wife and their 2 year old daughter because wife told him he has to start cleaning up after himself- he hasn’t seen her or his daughter since and has cleaned out the joint bank account- they hadn’t made it public yet, so she now has no support, and doesn’t want to tell people due to the pity she will get, when this a much longed for baby! Another woman found her husband is having an affair. This is a small group- how many men do this??? Lots you don’t hear about because they make up later. I am so mind blown that there are that many deadbeats out there!
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If you can, do Calmbirth (calmbirth.com.au). I had a fantastic pain free natural birth with my first and we have just completed the weekend again ready for our second due in April. Can’t recommend it enough. All the best.
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InkaBinka, is the FB page open to anyone? I’m due with # 2 in September also. Very disappointing all these men leaving their partners/wives
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I’m due in September, and my partner left me when I fell pregnant, does that mean I can join your group too?!
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Good luck with the natural birth!!
I know what you mean. I’m in a FB group for my birth month too and we’ve had a couple guys up and leave and a few others do really stupid things. Having said that a few of the women have said/done things I didn’t think were fantastic either so I guess it can cut both ways.
That does seem quite high for the group size though – our groups almost 120 and its ‘only’ been 3 confirmed separations.
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I just had a guy comment on one of my facebook photos asking why i wasn’t “in the kitchen”. Is anyone else sick of these kitchen-related remarks?
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OMM: gratitude. I think I suck at it. I’m working on it though… Well I am grateful, a fair bit, just not naturally bursting with it. But i’d like to be so that counts, right?
OMM #2: Writing and blogging. It’s only taken me three years… Finally I’ve told fear to take a backseat and I’m giving it a go. And it feels great! http://www.withgraceandeve.blogspot.com
OMM #3: Teeth. It’s drool central here. Would very much welcome baby six month’s first tooth to make an appearance!
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I’m with you, I keep asking WHERE are the teeth!! But then it’s not like it ends with one or two, the nightmare continues until you get the full set… or so I’ve heard.
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I just got told to leave a ‘trendy’ prahran cafe because i had a pram. I didn’t think this really happened! I was so furious, boiling inside actually. I am not the type of person who selfishly wheels a huge pram into a busy cafe and parks it right in the middle of the traffic flow or in the way of wait staff. In fact, I am a hospitality business owner myself and I always look in first to see whether we can fit and whether there’s a suitable place to park the pram out of everybody’s way.
I peered into the cafe this morning and saw the perfect spot for the pram beside a wall, and then carried my 2 yo over to the nearest table so we could order. I saw the guy on the coffee machine nod to the waitress who then came over and told me that “we don’t have ‘those’ in here, you will have to take it out”. I replied “but, it’s not in anyones way?” and she said in a stern tone “we just don’t have those in here, you can sit in the courtyard”. I was so angry, I stormed out feeling very annoyed, and even more annoyed I was going to miss out on my coffee. I can’t believe there are businesses out there that turn away customers, especially in this tough economic environment!
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Which cafe was it? That’s terrible!
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St Edmonds in Prahran.
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Ah good, I’m glad you named and shamed. That’s appalling treatment. Find a better cafe for your morning caffeine hit.
Good luck!
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Post an online comment in a review.
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I may as well cut to the chase . . .
Nothing happened. It was fantastic meeting up with Gamer Guy, but nothing happened. No moves were made, nothing out of the norm was said.
Mind you, our friend wanted to come with us, so it ended up being 3 of us. Instead of just the 2 of us.
I’m disappointed, but at least we are great friends. And if something happens later, then it happens. I just have to make sure that I don’t get my hopes up or anything.
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Cupcake, at least you know, now. I’ve been following your story, and I’m sorry it turned out this way.
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It isn’t really any different to how it was before we met up.
I did get a couple of hugs though, so I’m happy with that
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I’d be staying positive and assuming nothing happened cos there was someone else there? I mean how awkward would it be to lean in for a snog while you’ve got a third wheel hanging about? Hopefully you can arrange another time to hang out – just the two of you
maybe invite him over to watch a DVD or play a game you’re both into?
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i know it is important to not get your hopes up BUT sometimes people are quite shy, so i wouldn’t give up. three’s a crowd as they say.
even if you only gain a really good friend. it’s great that you are getting out and meeting new people, he might not be THE ONE but his friend/brother/work mate might be.
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Thanks for the update – I am just wishing V day was next week so you could send him the original idea!
Did you get his email addy?
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Yep. Sure did. He is expecting regualar email updates when I’m on holiday.
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Bugger! Was there chemistry in real life?
If there was three of you there, then maybe next time make it two?
Then pash?
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There’s chemistry there, but can’t work out whether it’s friendzone chemistry, because we get on so unbelieveably well, or it’s “let’s get naked” chemistry.
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Cupcake, I think if it was get naked chemistry, you’d have known. He would have found a way to get rid of the third party, I think.
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Maybe not. Some dudes are shy, want to move slow, etc.
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Is he shy, when you talk face to face ? Maybe you’ll have to take the initiative. Good luck !
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The third party is a friend of both of us, who really wanted to see us both.
And yes, he is shy about some things, but I have managed to open him up a fair bit.
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gOOd LuCk Cuppie. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
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Cupcake, my husband took ages – and I mean ages – before making a move, because he was so nervous.
It made me worry whether we should be just friends or if there was potential for more, and I just decided to enjoy the dates and let the first kiss happen when it happened.
It took about five or six dates, believe it or not. Five years later we were engaged.
Keep emailing this guy while you’re away and see what happens when you get back.
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Maybe see him again just the two of you and it will figure itself out? Good luck!
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Cupcake, I agree with MJ. Get him on his own !
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And the PASH HIM!
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