I’m going to start the open post off with whats on my mind this week and I’ll get straight to it, I have technology rage. It seems like the more electronic gadgets and devices I gather, the less patience I have for them. The battery on my iPhone seems to only last half a day (okay so it might have something to do with my Draw Something addiction) and my laptop now randomly shuts down -usually at the most inopportune times, like when I’m mid sentence in an unsaved post. Grrr. I realise it’s a first world problem, but I rely on technology so much to do my job that it’s so frustrating when it doesn’t perform how I expect it to (if someone knows when the iPhone 5 is likely to be released, please let me know in the comments below).
Office life
The behind-the-scenes gallery is my favourite part of the open post. When I was on maternity leave it was my way of keeping in touch with everyone and what they were doing and wearing. You won’t see me in the gallery today, mostly because my under eye bags are bigger than my head (side note: why does eye cream come in such small containers?). I have to admit, I’m a little jealous of Mia who has spent the week down-dogging and being massaged at the glorious Gaia retreat with her Mum.
Managing Editor Lana looking lovely in a Glassons shirt, Sportsgirl pants, Top Shop jacket and Miss Shop shoes.
Mug cakes
Please tell me I’m not the only one who is late to the mug cake party. How did I not know about these sweet little inventions until now? For the uninitiated (like me), a mug cake is a quick tasty dessert you can whip up in under two minutes in the microwave. And the best bit is they’re for one, so you don’t even have to share it. I haven’t tried the recipe yet, but to me they look pretty failproof. Have you made a mug cake, did it work and more importantly did taste good?
Nutella Mug Cake
Ingredients
4 tablespoons self rising flour
4 tablespoons white granulated sugar
1 egg
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
3 tablespoons Nutella
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil
Method
1. Combine all ingredients in a large coffee mug. Whisk well with a fork until smooth. Microwave on high for 1 1/2 – 3 minutes (time depends on microwave wattage. Mine took 90 seconds).
2. Top with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Enjoy!
Note: Depending on the wattage of your microwave, you may have to increase cooking time.
Makes 1 very large serving. (Note: our readers have noticed this is indeed a very large serving and suits more like 4-6 people).
Recipe via Babble.
The couples that dress together…
I love this Switcheroo project from self-taught Canadian photographer, Hana. Couples are photographed twice in the exact same spot, but with their clothes switched around. It reminds me of when my husband and I have turned up to social events wearing really similar clothing.
2-year-old covers Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’
This is so cute. I love how into it she gets -even when she doesn’t know the lyrics- it’s as if she knows what all the words mean.
What’s on your mind this week?
Comments
304 Comments so far
Be kind to each other,life is hard enough.That person who was rude to you …they have just found out they have cancer.That man who acted like you were invisible…..is consumed by his financial situation .That women that pushed in ,she is trying to juggle working ,kids and husband.Look past ourselves and at the person we encounter and ask ourselves …can I make this persons day better.
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What is it with the breast implants! I am going with my daughter for her initial consultation & I’d rather cut my leg off with blunt scissors.
She’s an adult, I’m the parent going along to listen & ask the questions. Don’t tell me I know & I’ve done, let’s hope this Dr is worth his/her
weight & can see the link & surgery won’t be the answer!
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I am seven weeks pregnant with my third child after having a miscarriage in December. On Tuesday I had an ultrasound and they said the baby had a heartbeat and was growing fine but that I had a 16mm by 16mm subchorionic haemorrhage. I think that means that I could have a miscarriage or it could resolve itself and everything could be fine. Obviously it’s playing on my mind. I’m scared, I’m confused, I’ve got heaps of questions that the doctors don’t seem to be able to answer (and googling does NOT help). Have any of you lovely MMers heard of it? Anyone got a comforting story where everything turned out fine?? I’m not sure exactly what I want/need but this seemed the right place to go….
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Sdot I have no knowledge or advice to offer just best wishes.
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I bled twice with in both pregnancies, once just for a day and once for a week. Both pregnancies turned out fine. My doctor told me spotting/bleeding is common in healthy pregnancies.
I know it’s only anecdotal but I hope it all works out for you. And it goes without saying – ring your doctor or midwife and get them to talk you through the fear. There’s nothing worse than sitting and doing nothing.
I’m thinking good thoughts for you.
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Little blood clot in placenta. They’re quite common and often do resolve on their own. I had one which caused a lot of bleeding in first trimester, but the remainder of my pregnancy was fine and I had a healthy little girl. Try not to worry. x
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OMM: personal loan over credit card/cash for a holiday? I have an amazing trip to India all but waiting for the money to be paid, but the cost is freaking me out. Don’t want to drop all the savings in one go!
Has anyone got a personal loan for a holiday before and would you recommend it? Thanks!
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We’ve always used cash and the credit card but you’ve then got pay it off ASAP otherwise it ends up being an expensive holiday. BTW India is SO cheap once you get there if that’s any help?
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Save up before you go!
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That video is amazing.
I’m not usually one for cutesy kid videos. But that itsn’t. For me it’s not about how cute she is… its that a little tiny human being is registering those emotions… and the words. wowweeeee
Have a great day everyone.
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On my mind: Jim Stynes and his legacy. I dont pay attention to football but I paid attention to him. What an amazing, giving man. His wife is so strong (and beautiful) and I am sad for her and the family.
On my mind: been cherishing the great friendships I have. I spent sonlong at school having few to no friends and now I am
Surrounded by wonderful people who I can be myself around. It’s a nice, content feeling.
On my mind: thesis. Got to do it. 1500 words in, I feel more confident.
On my mind: London then New York after my thesis. Can’t wait!!
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OMM is the amount of money I spent on makeup on Sunday…….
Hubby was unimpressed (“that’s equivalent to half an iPad!!!!!!!!!”).
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Just tried the mug cake- mixed it up and put it in the microwave only for the microwave to explode. So I tipped in into three little cake tins and baked it. Still enough for 6 people.
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Oh goodness! I’ll edit the recipe above – did it taste good?
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I thought I posted this already so apologies if this pops up twice.
OMM – at the same time we’re debating whether or not Germaine Greer should have said that the PM had a fat arse, our sisters in the US are being threatened with legislation which will require them to have transvaginal ultrasounds prior to having a termination. Yes, that’s right. Women in Virginia will have an invasive examination whereby an ultrasound wand is placed inside their vagina and moved up the canal.
Essential diagnostic tool? Punishment? You decide.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/21/us/virginia-bill-requiring-ultrasound-before-abortion-nears-vote.html
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/03/20/guest-post-a-doctor-on-transvaginal-ultrasounds/
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Incredible isn’t it? I was also shocked and appalled to hear about this.
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Imagine what it is like for the baby thats about to be killed…..
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Balls.
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Un-necessary don’t you think?
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OMM… Worried I am pregnant! Period over a week late. Some symptoms at the moment but you can link anything to pregnancy on the Internet (sneezed recently? You might be pregnant!!!). Too nervous to take a test yet.
In a long term relationship and planned to have kids in about 2 years so wouldn’t be the end of the world. But not ideal.
But hoping it’s just stress and everything will go back to normal asap…!!!
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There’s never a perfect time to have kids so if you are pregnant it must mean there is a very special someone needing to come into your world! Good luck!
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Just take the test love, better to know – either you’re worrying needlessly or the knowledge will allow you to begin to come to grips with the situation, which will make you feel better. Nothing like MAKING A PLAN to make you feel better I reckon.
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Just made the mug cake for my boyfriend. He loves it!
Thanks for such an amazing idea!
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OMM – I’m 32 weeks pregnant, due in may and a few days ago my MIL (who HATES me) called to ask if she and her partner could park their caravan in our backyard and live in it from probably the last week of April – and was very vague when pressed for a ‘leaving date’. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I don’t want her here. I simply want to go into labour, give birth and then announce it to the world. And when I come home from hospital, I want time to get to know my baby, learn to be a mother and to bond as a family without having to be worrying about being a good hostess, keeping the house clean and ensuring everything is up to HER standard (and make no mistake – she’s more likely to bitch about her son’s lack of clean clothes than offer to stick a load on herself). The problem is, it’s caused contention between hubby and I. He can’t see the issue but is willing to go along with my wishes but wont tell her no. So it’s my job and I can’t think of a way to refuse without sounding like the witch she thinks I am. Gah!
In other news, I’m so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open and am having trouble keeping up with normal daily tasks. I had to go on maternity leave early but I’m afraid that hubby, while trying to be supportive, just doesn’t understand. I know I’m hormonal and super sensitive but when he comes home and sighs because I haven’t cooked dinner or done the breakfast dishes it makes me want to curl up and die. I’m a perfectionist anyway and so criticism – imagined or real – doesn’t sit well with me.
Anyway – that is totally enough whining from me. Have a wonderful night all!
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Hey Anon, you have every reason to whine! What is the reason for them wanting to camp in your backyard? Has their house been repossessed? Or been flooded etc?
Unless there is a major crisis then it’s not ok. Actually it’s not ok regardless. This is your time, your family. Of course she can’t put her caravan in your backyard at the same time you are having your baby!
The biggest problem is your husbands weakness with her. He needs to step up, he’s an adult and he now has his own family to take care of and protect. He HAS to tell her no and why.
Maybe counciling would help with this? And also with his lack of sensitivity, understanding and empathy re how you are feeling – freaking exhausted due to pregnancy! He should be cooking dinner, looking after YOU!
Off to a good, strong councillor I think and asap.
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Oh no how frustrating for you.
I know when I was pregnant and exhausted (first trimester for me) my hubby was really great…..to start with, then the odd comments started aboout how lazy I was etc as I wasnt doing as much around the house as I normally do. This made me fume! I guess that was partly my fault as I always previously did nearly everything so I partly set myself up for it!
As for visitiors, I cannot believe people are so disrespectful that they would expect to be albe to come and stay. Most people who came and visitied us just had really quick visits. however my husbands family tended to loiter and didnt get the hint they should leave. Sitting around having cups of tea for the whole day is great……except when you have so much other stuff that needs doing. And your tired and just dont have the energy to make conerstion so mcuh.
As for overnight guests, I wish I had of stood my ground. Next time I will be insisitent there are no overnight guest for atleast the first 3 months. It was just way too stressful, especially as when they are so little, they are often feeding frequently, and feeding can take up to an hour at a time. Newborns can be very unsettled and this can be stressful enough as it is without haivng other people witness it (and try and ‘help’). Also, when my baby was so young, I would often spend a great deal of my day in PJs, or just rip my top off to make feeding easier, not somehting you can do with houseguests! Not to mention your own body still needs to recover!
I actually offered topay for in laws to put their caravan at the local caravan park so they werent at our place.
It is so hard to say anything though without seeming rude, but I strongly believe it is ruder for peopel to ask or expect this. You really need those early days to just completely focus on your newborn and learn about them and get to know them.
good luck with everything and hope you can sort it out!
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Are there any local council restrictions in your area that won’t allow people to live in caravans in someone’s backyard for indefinite or extended periods of time?
I would definitely stand my ground on this one, Anon. If you know that your MIL already thinks you’re a witch, then you can look at it two ways. You have nothing to lose by standing your ground or you can call her bluff and tell her that pregnancy has turned you into a real witch and she wouldn’t want to live in your backyard and by the way, here are the rules that go with living in the backyard and put down everything that she needs to do to suit you, your husband and your baby.
Bring out your mother lioness too. Think of it as protecting your little bubba from having her first months of life turned into a battlefield. There’s not a mother on earth that wouldn’t support you in this. xo
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No way! Love, do not worry about being “the witch” for one minute. You will NEVER regret telling them “it really won’t be a good time then I’m afraid, but here are some great caravan parks not far away … [insert details for caravan parks a pretty long way away].
Stress hormones and pregnancy hormones are like oil and water. That sh*t don’t mix.
And by the way, it’s just bad manners. You shouldn’t feel awkward about having to deal with a situation brought about by her lack of manners. Frankly I’d be pushing hubby to step up to the plate here (ahem).
When these sorts of family issues arise around baby-arrivals it drives me crazy. It’s time to put the BABY first folks. And that means supporting a new mum. It seems like so many family members can’t accept not being highest priority or focus of attention for five seconds and love a bit of drama. I would definitely approach this in the mind set that you are doing the best thing for baby here. F*ck em.
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Oh Anon, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up when i read that…i could not think of anything worse than having mean MIL camped out in the yard in the final wks of pregnancy and first weeks of your baby’s life!!
i know it can be so hard but stand your ground and do not let the MIL park her caravan in your yard! i cant believe that she would even expect you to do that!!.
it may be hard but i dont think you will regret not letting them come for a moment- however you may well regret having her interferring and bitching and causing you stress when all you should be focusing on is recovering and getting to know your baby. i really hope your husband supports you on this, it is so important for you!! good luck!!!
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Tell your husband to grow a pair and speak to his mother. He can tell her that there is no way he’s letting her camp in the garden, use the bathroom and kitchen of your home at a time when his lovely wife is getting to know her new baby and learn how to be a mother.
I’d go as far as to say that she has little or no respect for you or your situation by even suggesting this in the first place, and this is would make it easier for me if I was in your situation. Enough with being passive. You’re about to come a mummy. The answer is HELL NO.
You need space, rest, and minimal stress. He can tell her. If he won’t, you can sweetly tell her that you’d rather she didn’t, thank you, but you can look into a caravan park for her. If she can’t afford it, tell your husband to pay for the caravan park or a hotel for you. His choice.
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Maybe her intention is to come help you with the baby.
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If she already hates you , you have nothing to lose.
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OMM 1: this time last week my house mates and I were deliverd a letter from the real estate informing us that we had 16 days to VACATE!! OK time to man the panic stations!
So of course we stressed, we searched real estate web site, tenant law web sites and every other web site we could possibly think of, then spent a total of 13 hours in a car going to open houses!
Relief…….yesterday we were told we have a new place to live!
OMM2: how on earth do I live on 50c for the next week while I pay my share of the first months rent in advance? If I had known this was going to happen I never would bout those awesome jumpers, or that handbag, or that new wallet……….
Back to student days I think where we live off two minute noodles!
Hope everyone else is having a great week!
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Can you get a bond loan?
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We are in the process of applying for one. Just put the application in this morning after signing the lease!
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AS I posted recently I have moved to the country!
A very sudden move but I have been thru four years of hell and had to make some changes. It’s all falling into place so easily. Great job offer, really good money. Amazing big house – renovated and ridiculously low price – I can pay it off in one year and it’s beautiful old heritage.
And…….. I may have met a man!!!!! Not sure yet. He emailed me via an online dating site (no one ever emails, only ever kisses) and he lives in a close country town and seems great. But I know it’s hit and miss, we may meet and not be able to stand one another.
But maybe my life is turning around, I feel that it is. I actually feel excited about the future after years of not being able to face life at all.
STay tuned……
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Oooo Louise … can’t wait to hear what develops next. I’ve known people before to do what you have done, upped sticks, moved to the country and found it was the best thing they ever did. And, maybe, a country romance too! We will have to compare notes
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You guys are so great! So….. the guy, Michael, and i have been emailing each other heaps since Monday. He’s very open and has told me heaps about his past relationship etc. He’s really smart and lovely.
But what if we meet and it’s horrible??? I would hate that. It’s so nerve wrecking.
THe last time I had this type of connection w someone I met online was my ex. We had great email communication also & I was worried that there’d be no attraction when we met, but the night of our first date it was full on. I looked over at him & knew he was the man I was going to marry. Wrong! He broke my heart.
But this is my new life so it could all work out.
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OMM 1 : I have been trying to find, for some time now, a perfect pair of black leather pants that are not extortionately expensive…….. rockchick / biker style that are tapered at the ankle, hipster, flat front…..you know the ones……like the Burberry pair without the Burberry price……suggestions anyone ?????
OMM 2 : My 5 year old pre-primary daughter has reverted to soiling her pants…..daily…..any it is, to say the very least, infuriating on a level I have not reached before. We were happily past the crappy pants stage a while back, all was grand in toiletting world, but now I’m faced with this !!!!!
I have tried to give her daily benefibre in her drinks, I have gone down the calm mummy talking and reminding path…..I have, shamelessly gone down the Mummy screeching like a banshee path too…..all to no avail. My daughter says she doesn’t get any ” feelings of warning ” before the offending code brown presents !!!!!
A friend of mine discussed a condition common to new schoolers called ” Faecal Loading “, a type of constipation where the body is is still constipated, although daily bowl movements occur.
Does anyone out there have any experience with this issue or can offer any advice before I ship her off to the GP…..which I have suggested but was met with a horrific response !!!!!!
and finally….
OMM 3 : my friend recently lost her much loved family dog to Pancreatitis…. …… and she was devastated. Last week she became the very proud owner of a gorgeous puppy naned Delilah…..and my buddy is so so happy again. It is wonderful to see her usually cheery face again. She really is the greatest person and friend. XXXX
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1. Ebay!
2. Poor little thing, something must be wrong for her to be experiencing this now. Lots of mummies on here who can give you advice.
3. I totally know the intense pain of losing a best friend (4 legged) getting a puppy or a rescue is the best thing to do. My little rescue has really healed my broken heart.
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Have you checked out ShopStyle? http://www.shopstyle.com.au/browse?fts=black+leather+pants – You can sort by price & style.
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THANK YOU NICKY !!!!!!
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Hi Kerriann
Your little girl’s problem could be what is called constipation with overflow where kids get constipated, have a full rectum and then get faecal fluid which flows around the faeces in the already full rectum and leak out onto their pants. She’s right in saying that she will get no warning because it doesn’t happen because there is the normal urge to do a poo, it happens because she already has a rectum that is completely full.
Often, when kids start school, they are very reluctant to use the school toilets for doing poos – either the toilets smell, there isn’t enough privacy or the kids are too busy playing. So, you could ask her if that is a problem for her.
Your GP should be familiar with the situation as it is quite common at your little girl’s age and her life experience of going to school as a relatively new challenge for her to cope with. If your GP is unhelpful then ask for a referral to a paediatrician as they definitely are familiar with this problem. The main thing is to act now as it can be a very difficult cycle to break once it becomes established.
Good luck x
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Thank you Susan….. as you have described in your first paragraph, this is what is presenting….not a formed stool, but a very loose, generous amount. I shall make an appointment tomorrow. Your words were just the kick in the pants I needed.
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Here’s a gross question… Have you actually looked at the pooh? Does it look quite loose, like diarrhoea? If yes then she may have chronic constipation which is common in preschoolers. They hold on because they are scared to go or too busy playing to go. But then with the extra fibre they end up having little pooh explosions in their undies. It is pretty easily treated with a product called movicol but definitely take her to the Dr for a checkup.
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Yes off to the doctor asap. Sounds like chroni constipation.
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OMM:I work with someone who is a professional worrier. She’s got plenty of reponsibility, but her constant look for something new to stress her out is such a downer. Shame, because she’s a nice, well-meaning person and we get along well much of the time. Now, every time I make a decision, I worry about how stressed it’ll make her … hmmm, spot the paradox
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Professional worriers are so exhausting aren’t they? I have an aunt like that. She saps the life out of anyone and everything around her.
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Just try to keep in mind that it’s her worrybrain, not yours – make your decisions as you need to, let her deal with her own worryness. It’s not your responsibility to shield her from the world.
Of course act with compassion and don’t go out of your way to make it worse for her but you can’t let her crazy incapacitate you.
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OMM: When did it suddenly become okay to treat people who work in retail like scum just because we are in a customer service position? There have been three major incidents at work this week where team members have been brought to tears.
One gentleman (in business attire) aggressively told one of my team members to “shut up and serve me”, among other things, when she was politely explaining something to him. When she stepped away and asked me to come and continue the transaction he mouthed off that he was going to make a formal complaint about her. I was calm and polite and he continued being rude to me so when he said he was going to shop at our opposition from now on (he was complaining about self serves and a lack of team members, something completely out of anyone at store level’s control), I said “that’s fine, I don’t deal with rude customers”.. against the company way of dealing with things but there comes a time when we have to stand up for ourselves.
I also hate the saying “self serves make people like you lose your jobs”… I know it’s a general term but I feel like saying… well actually, I am full time so have job security and people “like me” are actually studying Masters degrees.
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What an arsehole. Good on you for standing up to him, no need to be polite to people like that.
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Many moons ago when I was studying my undergrad in zoology at uni, I worked at the local safeway to supplement my austudy as a duty manager. One day I remember a customer being particularly surly and he simply wouldn’t settle down so I said to him very calmly, “Sir, of the 10 staff that you now see serving on registers, all except one are university students. Three are medical students, two in science, and four are in their final year of engineering. We are smart people and do not deserve to be spoken to like that.”
He didn’t say anything else, but he did complain about me. I didn’t care because after that all the staff thought I rocked!
People can be awful to those working retail; but it does say more about them than it does about you.
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Doesn’t matter if you were studying or not, we all deserve to be treated with respect!
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Michelle – Of course, that goes without saying.
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I only have myself to blame for this. Actually, no I don’t. It’s MM’s fault that I am going on a date tomorrow. And it’s my family’s fault for encouraging me too. I like Open Post a lot more now that I can do a bit of passing the buck!
Read last week’s article on internet dating and I decided to have a look at Plenty of Fish website … what A Cute Name. So, I mucked around on it for a bit and then clicked it off, not realising I had actually submitted the info until my email box was full of emails the next day. Eeeeek!
Now, I am going on a date. I haven’t been on a date for two years. I keep reminding myself so I don’t forget tomorrow … “I am going on a date tomorrow” … uh oh, gulp, oh no, it can’t be too bad *giggle*
It’s all your fault MM’ers! Will let you know what happens…
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That’s great! Can’t wait to hear all about it. Really hope it goes well xxxx
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How exciting. Have a great time!
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Good luck! Have fun.
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Sorry ’bout that but I hope you have a great night!
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LOL! Thanks MM’ers
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ooh! hope he’s nice. We expect a report back!
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Good for you, chick! Have a ball. And if he doesn’t turn out to be all that and a packet of crisps, we are all more than happy to have a debrief with you. My gfs and I gave the dud ones nicknames. We still giggle about ‘pigeon boy’, ‘the viking’, the manchild’ and the like ;P
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Tell us how it goes!! You seem lovely from your posts, so I’m sure it will be great. Good luck!!
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YAY! You go baby, good luck xxxxx
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I’m very excited about the novel I’m writing. It’s fantasy and it’s just at the stage where I am plotting out the characters, storyline, etc. I am enjoying the process so much and getting lots of positive feedback from my partner
Haven’t invested much in character names or a title, will come back to that. Tonight on the train I was writing down questions for myself to answer. It feels like my own little world.
Best part is I can escape into it at work if there’s nothing to do, and disguise it as an email….
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That is so wonderful, good for you! Very very impressive.
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OMM: 13 sleeps!
What to pack! Thankfully I am not that into fashion but I am still struggling with what to take.
Also , worring about silly things like my weight. Feeling a little low. Silly yes but I have real self-esteem issues and I am hoping this trip will help!
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Bookkat, how super exciting for your holiday! Have an amazing time and don’t stress about your weight (believe me I have been there!) And just enjoy yourself!
(and I don’t mean to not give respect to your self esteem comment because I have also had these issues, but a friend once told me that everytime I looked in the mirror and did not like what I saw that I had to think of something nice to myself. I can’t say it worked all the time but it was good to try!
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OMM: Accepting that a friendship I’ve always thought was the strongest (because it was the longest) is breaking down as we are moving in totally different directions. Trying to be positive about meeting another boy at a pub last weekend who got my number but has done nothing with it
feel like i’ll be single forever at this rate! debating whether to go to my group boxing glass or rush straight home and make those mug cakes! yummm!!
Love Love Love Mamamia and all the inspirational articles and comments! keep up the good work!!
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I know how you feel Meggles- I am perpetually singel (as in longest relationship was one month), and one of my besties has just met someone. And its just different. Happy as I am for her, its hard to go from speaking to someone almost every day to now not so much (how needy do i sound!)
And I suggest boxing THEN mug cake!! I just did boot camp and am off to buy nutella to make one
Good luck with pub boy
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not needy at all nursemim! As bad as it sounds and as happy as you try to be when your besty meets someone there is still always a little part that feels sad. be it cause you are loosing them or they have met someone and you are still single. look at the bright side – your besties partner may have an amazing friend that suits you perfectly! In saying that, i fully believe that meeting a partner is no grounds to reduce the contact you had with your girlfriends before you met him…they were the constant factor, not the boy! same problem im facing at the moment with the friend – but this is a constant cycle with her, when there is no man i hear from her multiple times a day and help her through her problems, and as soon as she meets someone i can go for weeks without hearing from her and when it goes pear shaped im the first phone call. i guess its my own fault for fueling the cycle and taking her calls, but i think im finally wising up to it, i dont want to be the friend when it suits her and provide the emotional support when i get nothing in return!
Boxing then mug cake definately reduced the guilt…although im not sure if i did it right, mine certaintly didnt look like the pictures!
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OMM: SICK TO DEATH OF HEARING CHILDREN SING ADELE SONGS. I am sorry. But it is not cute. It is soooooo inappropriate, boring and makes me want swear like a trooper. I hate it when the kids sing it on YTT I hate it when a child sings a song about heartbreak, first heartbreak, and there is no meaning in theo words because they ARE BLOODY TWO!!!!!!
*breathe*
Ok.
OMM #2. Jim Stynes, and his incredible wife. I wish her all the love and support in this world.
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Bahahaha! So true!
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Ba ha ha ha …. and yeah, I agree!
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OMM: I finally allowed myself to have my first cadbury creme egg of the season. *drools in memory* They are seriously yum! I have been just a little bit addicted to them since 1994.
OMM: Can I please ask for some help from other readers? What is a suitable amount of money to give a child for the show? I plan to use this as one of those parental teaching opportunities and give each child a set amount to spend, and once it is spent there will be no more. They will not be buying food out of it (unless they want extras) – the money is just for any rides or showbags. We will be there for about 2 hours or so. What do you think? Is about $25 each suitable or stingy? The kids are infants school aged.
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dude I never got money when I went to the show! Mum sometimes bought us the 3 dollar show bags, then we went and saw the animal and cakes and thingss, and maybe, if we were really lucky, we’d get a turn on the merry-go-round or an equally ‘thrilling’ ride. 25 bucks is awesome!!! not even stingy, I would say generous. They’re only little as well.
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We had the BEST time at the Easter show last year. It was wonderful. We went from lunchtime till nightime with 3 young kids. There is so much to do there that is free. They cater really well for young kids.
Our rule was they could get one showbag for less than $10 and go on any ride they wanted. They looked around first then chose their ride pretty quickly. There were no complaints because they knew the rules before we started. The showbags they chose were about $6 from memory. This was a 6, 3 and 1 yo. I can’t wait for this year!!
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I don’t think we had a dollar limit on the few times we went, it was more of a ’3 rides and 2 showbags’ limit. Is that an option for you?
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As this is an open post, I thought I’d share the awesome Hamburger cupcakes my boyfriend and I made a few days ago. The recipe and idea was of course, taken from the wonder PHOODIE! http://phoodie.wordpress.com/2010/09/24/hamburger-cupcakes/
I suggest everyone have a go at making a set, as they were plenty of fun
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WOW yum!!!
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OMM this week is Jim Stynes. He contributed so much to society and seemed like such a gentle soul. Proof if ever there was that only the good die young.
My thoughts are with his young family and all his friends. RIP Jim xoxo
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OMM: Just dropped my wedding dress off to get drycleaned…two months after the wedding. Costing $500 which includes proper storage to protect from yellowing and all that. I think it will be worth it!
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That’s so much! Can’t remember what I paid but I was shocked at the time too.
They charge it just because they can I guess.
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OMM: Over the next four Saturdays we have three engagement parties – and the other Saturday is Easter weekend.
These are not the first of my friends to get married, but other than my cousins I’ve never been invited to an engagement party before and now three in four weeks! Starting to feel like the girl in the “All my friends are getting married” post (even though back when I read it, my thought was “all my friends are having babies” which also seems true at the moment.)
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Best: I was owed a day off from work and not being allowed to take Monday’s or Friday’s off- and with Wednesdays being my normal day off I get it tomorrow which means 2 days off in a row! This is huge for me as I work weekends so I get 2 complete days of peace to myself.
Worst: these 2 complete days of peace are not as peaceful as expected- I’m sick and tired of “hey i know it’s your day off but” or calls of “hey can you respond to the emails I sent”… I don’t harass others on
Saturday and Sunday- this is my saturday and Sunday!
OMM: my best friend and her 2 little girls coming back over Easter. She always makes me feel better no matter how parallel our lives may be.
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Sorry if someone has already told you this way down below, but I was having the same problem with the battery life of my iphone. We have managed to extend the battery big time by switching off the ‘location services’ (found in settings), dimming down the brightness a little and only fetching new mail data every 15 mins. All found in settings.
I am now only having to charge about once a day. Before that I was like you, and charging at least twice a day. Good luck!
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PS. there may have been a few other things we did. My husband just googled it and found the solutions online.
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Thanks stuckinmiami, they did but you just reminded me to actually do it!
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All my online orders from Mister Zimi and ASOS arrived …. but husband was working from home today. Going to have to do some fast explaining when I get home (meant to be saving for house/holiday).
I’m thinking- they were gifts from my Mum.. Suggestions?
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Dont tell fibs, how much do you want a house/ holiday? be up front if you dont want the same things as your hubby.Your happy holiday memeries will last forever. The things you brought will only last a short time, try to control your buying if you cant get help. kind regard Goevie611
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How good is Mister Zimi?!
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Mug cakes? Looks OK to me – but …. OMM, cupcakes. I have a confession to make.
I hate cupcakes.
I love the icing and the titilly bits on top, but the rest is – just cake. Meh.
I can’t fathom why all of you in the MM office aren’t the size of baby rhinos and the shape of cupcakes – you all seem to be addicted to the little blighters.
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You hate cupcakes???
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I hate the cake part. It’s just cake.
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How can you hate cupcakes? They’re cakes, yes, but in little tiny cuppy goodness!!
I just made the most amazing chocolate vegan cupcakes last night, and I’m pretty sure they’re feeling pretty heart broken at the moment!
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Giggle!
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Haha!
We’d make a great pair.
I hate the stuff on top!
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It is a bit strange isn’t it, the constant references to sweet treats yet everyone in the office seems to be quite slim. Hmmmm, maybe they all have very fast metabolisms.
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I know how you feel… I hate cupcakes too. Well, I don’t hate them, but I can quite easily pass on them if they’re offered to me. It’s quite possibly a hangover from my days of working in restaurants, but to me they’re just fairy cakes that a six year old could make loaded with too much icing. Seriously, there are so many better sweets and pastries out there.
And on that note, I’m off to have another slice of Raspberry Miroire…
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OMM: Hot cross buns, hot cross buns, hot cross buns, hot cross buns!
Not OMM: Anything besides hot cross buns
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I’m heading out to buy chocolate ones this afternoon.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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Isn’t that just cake? I’m a traditionalist when it comes to hot cross buns. Plus I hold out till a month or so from Easter, I won’t buy them in January!
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this post of hot cross buns just reminded me that Easter is around the corner yaaay!! must put hot cross buns on my food list this week!!!! mmm toasted with butter……..sooo good! ive never had the chocolate ones before? are they super awesum?
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I think they’re pretty awesome, especially when bought from a proper baker, not just supermarket ones (which I always find really dense and stodgy.)
And like you, I think they’re great when toasted and dripping with butter.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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Now I have that song stuck in my head. “One a penny two a penny..”
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I’m a traditionalist and love the fruit and spice ones but oh my, you should def give the white chocolate and raspberry hot cross buns are shot. mmm…..
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OMM: Everybody is leaving my work.
We now have 5 staff to cover two call centres and two receptions in two separate buildings and there seems to be no rush to hire new staff.. the next couple of months will be hectic.
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OMM: Two job interviews coming up for grad positions (I will finish uni at the end of the year). So scary. Have to wear business attire which I have never worn so feel like a pretender when I do try them on.
Half the time I am fretting about how nervous I am and what will I say and what if it goes horrible and then the other half of the time I am thinking about what a boss I am and how can they not hire me! If anyone has any advice, that’s always appreciated.
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When I interview for new staff personality counts almost as much as skills. Try and have a brief chat about the weather/weekend/how you got there as you get seated, it will relax you and also the interviewer.
Research the company thoroughly!! You need to know what they do, what they’ve done and any current news. I can’t tell you the amount of times candidates seem almost shocked when I start talking about our company.
And lastly be prepared. Practice before hand, and go through standard interview questions eg. Why should you have the job, what are your best skills, how have you resolved issues in the past (related to your industry).
As a grad they will know you don’t have a lot of infield experience so draw on your studies. For example I work in Marketing/ Product Development, so I would ask a grad “How would you chase a non-responsive supplier for a late delivery of stock”.
Good Luck! If you prepare it’ll be a piece of cake
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Good luck with your interviews! I was in your position last year and I’m not a grad working in the public service…it really is a great foot in the door. Study up on the companies you’re being interviewed for and most importantly – be yourself!
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Thanks Butters and Emma! xx
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So excited, this time tomorrow I will be on a Qantas flight to New York via LA.
Leaving kids at home with hubby annd meeting up with a girlfriend in New York from Atlanta I haven’t seen for 8 years and a girlfriend in San Francisco from London who I haven’t seen for over five years.
Will miss hubby and the kids like crazy but I am planning to fit in as much shopping, sight-seeing, eating, drinking and catching up with girlfriends as I can fit into 10 days.
And let’s not forget flying without small children in tow – bliss!
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That sounds amazing – I’m sure you’ll have a great time.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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For those of us in Perth – How gorgeous is today? Sun shining, warm weather, cooling breeze. Perfect.
OMM: What to buy people for Easter? (Especially my grandfather who doesn’t eat chocolate!)
Also, am heading to Singapore in a week and am frightened of flying. Big time frightened. But I’ve got motivation – I want to buy some unusual Chinese papers for my store, and I want to buy some dance shoes (as they’re cheaper there than here.)
But any advice on how to get myself onto a plane without picturing my long, slow, agonizing death of plummeting 30,000 feet, then having the plane exploding in a fireball and being burnt to a crisp would be wonderful!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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Valium. I take one about 40 mins before takeoff then half a tablet as I am boarding (BTW 5mg tabs). Takes the edge off really well. Who cares if it plummets to earth!!! Ha ha
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Haha! Shall get myself to the Dr and ask for them.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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I second the Valium. I am SUPER scared of flying and recently took a couple (of the 2mg ones) of Valium before I flew (to NYC) and they WORKED LIKE A CHARM – was totally calm and placid and wasn’t scared at all!
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Yes today is a gorgeous autumn day! oh ivory leaf i love your etsy shop! i am going to add you to my favourites list! its so hard to find nice stationary!!! keep up the great work!! ^_^
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Thanks so much.
Compliments give me the warm fuzzies. 
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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My Dr prescribed me murelax for my upcoming trip. It’s a sleeping tablet, but if I take about 1/4 it is supposed to be calming rather than knocking me out!
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Do you really need to buy everyone stuff for Easter?
I was going to say what about a card, if you feel the need to do something, then I remembered your shop! Even better, make a card with a heartfelt, reflective message.
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I buy Easter PJ’s for winter….gee that Bunny a good sort
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Have to say, I’m not a fan of La Mav products. It doesn’t help that I’ve only been met with rudeness when dealing with that company. It’s a shame really because I don’t actually enjoy giving negative feedback.
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Am feeling a smudge guilty. Picked son up at lunchtime today from school as he had an orthodontist appt and the teacher said not to worry if we were a bit late as it was only assembly after lunch, so took him out for a nice bite to eat and got him back an hour late. Yikes! Waiting for a note in the diary tonight.
Also mug cakes??? Holy crap, can’t wait to get on to that one!!!
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Smidge, not smudge. Bloody phone
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Just say that the orthodontist was running late, hence why your son was back at school later than expected. There’s no harm in the occasional white lie. ;p
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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Don’t feel guilty, sometimes a little mother/son time is just what you need! When we were little our mother would sometimes conspire with us and let us stay home from school on awful rainy days. We’d curl up and read books all day. It’s one of my favourite memories – never mind teachers and the note in the diary ;0)
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I usually wouldn’t bother taking my kids back to school. They rarely miss it anyway (3-4 days per semester), so I don’t stress at all about it.
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OMM: I have to wrote my senate submission for same sex marriage – arggh it closes soon and I want my opinion heard.
Also, I want to write a letter (yes the old fashioned way) to each of my senators .. must do!!
I encourage others to do the same!!
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Hi Everyone,
We wanted to tell you all about http://www.tacklenappy.com a new website resource by dads for dads (and also mums). We are proudly Melbourne based and we try to link our two loves parenting and sport (particularly AFL). We blog on issues relating to being a dad, parenting and pregnancy and also have some really interesting interviews with great dads too. We are only a young website/blog (recently launched) and would love as many visitors to our site as possible. So if you need a good local resource for dads we hope we can help. Please let us know what you think.
Cheers
Bucky and Chubba
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I forgot to mention you can also check us out on facebook http://www.facebook.com/tacklenappy
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OMM: My boyfriend. We get along awesome, when we get along. When we don’t.. neither of us deal with it super constructively. I get a bit dramatic when I feel wronged or am grumpy with him or something, but hey at least no one is left in the dark about what’s going on. My bf, on the other hand.. well, I usually only find out something is wrong long after the fact. By which time a few things have built up and it’s dramageddon. But at the time he’ll either not show anything or just go off and ignore me. And he’ll never fix anything or admit any fault either, I’m a bit sick of being the one always rebuilding the bridge between us.
He finds it tiresome when I’m grumpy or angry too, preferring not to deal with it. Like I should just build a bridge. So we rarely make any headway with any issues.
I’m not sure I know what advice to ask for, I think I’m just whining. Sorry. I know we have to talk about communication, but he’s not that great at constructive adult discussions either! Somehow, every time turns into a dissection and repetition of everything I do wrong, with little room for any other topics.
I know I’m certainly far from perfect but these few things are a real stumbling block to us getting along better (we are a great team most of the time) and they happen to be things that are just impossible to get through to him.
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Are we actually the same person? Seriously though, I know exactly what you mean. My husband, if I try and talk about any issues, does exactly what you describe – it just turns into a litany of what I’ve done wrong. I have made sure that I admit to the things that I haven’t handled correctly (and yes, there are some), but cannot get him to understand or do the same. I don’t need him to prostrate himself with guilt, I just need acknowledgement of how these things make me feel and, as you say, a constructive adult discussion. It’s a form of defensiveness (the best defence being attack, as they put it) and I think part of it’s caused by feeling guilty, but it is so so wearing and I don’t think he understands how much it’s making me start to question the relationship. Like you, we are a great team mostly and it’s so frustrating that this can cloud everything. It’s always the same couple of issues as well. So, I have no advice, but you’re definitely not alone. If you have a breakthrough in how to deal with this, let me know!
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Oh, I know, it’s so frustrating. My bf just repeats the same things about me when I try to talk to him about something. They don’t even have to be relevant, or applicable at the time.
But the same issues for me as well. For me it’s that I never take initiative with things for us to do. But even if I have taken him out somewhere the very day before, he will still bring it up. It makes me feel really helpless, like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
I think you’re right, it must be an automatic defense mechanism, and a bit of self-righteousness. I’m reduced to tears of frustration, fielding accusations, protesting: ‘but that was ages ago!’ ‘that has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m talking about!’ ‘that doesn’t even make sense!’ until I give up. I have to hand it to him, the strategy works :-/
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Oh my, we could also be the same person…
That is exactly what my (recent) ex used to do. It was so frustrating!
Can’t give you any advice, I’m afraid. It’s just a tough one
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And me too. I read this and thought of my exact situation. Unfortunately I couldn’t go on like that so can’t give you any advice. Just know that it appears not to be an uncommon situation xx
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Meee toooo!
You just described my relationship. Or what used to be my relationship. Couple’s counselling made a big difference for us – it allowed us to actually get at the issues in a constructive way, rather than me acting like a complete diva who won’t drop it, and him just ignoring it and hoping it would fix itself. If you’re in Melbourne I’m happy to give you the name of the woman we went to – good luck, I totally get how frustrating it is!
PS – Dramageddon. Love it!
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Sounds a lot like my relationship too. It’s so hard to keep any conversation involving a disagreement on topic because he gets very defensive and brings up past events that have nothing to do with anything. I also find that’s it’s particularly the case when I am trying to get him to acknowledge that I am unhappy about something he is doing. For some reason he will think it’s relevant to refer back to some past (unrelated) occasion (or multiple) when he was in the right or I was in the wrong. “But yesterday I did the washing!” “what about the time I let you use the car!” etc. No matter the disagreement it seems to turn into an argument about who can claim the title of morally superior person in the relationship. Sighh!
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We’re the same: I’m a talker, he’s not. But, you know what? When he does finally come out and say something, it’s nearly always worth a listen. He’s quiet in groups, too, saying he ‘doesn’t have anything to say.’ Truthfully, he’s got more to say than most of the louder people out there.
It might kill you at first to hold back a bit from the drama, but if you get along really well when you’re not fighting, and you think he’s worth it, then hang on in there. Good luck.
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Ohh that’s not really it, he talks fine. Just shuts down when there’s something wrong, which is unhelpful at that time! He is beautiful and says great things, just not when there’s trouble :-/
I don’t really think I’m overly dramatic, his shut-downiness just makes me seem OTT in comparison. And makes me go further than I usually would because I feel I have to rail against a brick wall. Aye aye aye…
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Yes! That’s it exactly! And finally, finally, after getting nowhere with rational discussion, I lose my rag and the moral high ground disappears in the rear view mirror…..
I know the issues aren’t insurmountable, but they do need discussion and compromise, rather than being pushed aside because he doesn’t like the implication that he might not have acted perfectly.And I try, I really do, to own my own behaviour, apologise when I’m wrong and change that behaviour. We’re none of us perfect.
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OMM: Very difficult session at marriage counselling earlier this week. Hubbie has been given a deadline of Saturday night to tell me one way or another if he wants in or out of this marriage. Scared because I don’t know how I’ll feel if he says he wants to stay and don’t know how I’ll feel if he says he wants to go. I have fought for this marriage for so long and I am exhausted by feeling that I am the only one who cares if we make it or become another statistic. Financially we will both be worse off if we split – as will the children – but don’t know how much longer I can survive in a loveless relationship.
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I know there’s nothing I can say to make things better or easier, but I just wanted to say that I’m thinking of you and sending positive vibes and strength your way. {hugs}
http://www.etsy.com/shop/IvoryLeaf
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God be with you.
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It’s really good that you’ve set a deadline. YOu can’t stay together for financial reasons, that will only create bitterness, am sure you know this. I’m sorry yr going thru this, it must be incredibly hard. I guess just believe and tell yourself that whatever happens you will be fine. xxxx
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OMM: my husband’s weight. He had a seizure at work last year and for a few hours at Emergency when they were checking to see if he had had a heart attack, I was furious with him. How could he let himself get so overweight that he had a heart attack? He weighed 128kg. I was ready to drag him home by the scruff of the neck and micro-manage every single thing he ate until he lost a lot of weight. Then they told us he hadn’t had a heart attack, it was a brain tumour that caused the seizure. All was forgiven and I got on with the business of looking after his head.
Now, 6 months later after surgery, radiation and chemo, he is back at work and sees a personal trainer two mornings a week because he lost a lot of fitness when he was in hospital and the steriods he is on wasted away his muscle mass. But in the 6 weeks he’s been training he has put on weight. Hasn’t lost a thing. He is now 134kg. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat but he’s put on 6kg! I would love to have time to see a personal trainer two mornings a week, and to get out exercising whenever I like. He has this freedom but isn’t using it. I am sick of tiptoeing around the issue. He tells people (his parents and me who are all very concerned) that his eating is ok (it’s not, obviously) and he tells himself that two mornings training a week is enough exercise. I understand what he’s been through, hell I was right in the thick of it with him. But now that his head is on the mend I don’t understand why he can’t drag himself out of bed one more morning a week and go for a walk. He doesn’t do any exercise other than when he’s paying someone else to expect him to be there. His eating is ok, except when he’s grazing in between meals. I can’t keep jelly beans in the house any more because he eats them all. I have taken to hiding the kids biscuits because he just keeps eating. I have done everything I can for him to make it easier. I offer to make his lunch for work when I’m making the kids lunches at night. I always have cut up fruit in the fridge for the kids that he could easily help himself to. He has every excuse in the book.
I don’t understand why, when he has had such a close brush with death, would he not do everything he can to lose this weight. I know how hard it is to find the motivation to lose weight. I lost 15kg a few years ago after I finished having my babies. I don’t want to be a single mother, but that’s where I’m heading. If he continues to put on weight he will most certainly have a heart attack. I just hope it doesn’t kill him.
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Hi there, just wondering if you offered to do exercise with him plus his two days with the personal trainer? Maybe he is completely unmotivated working out by himself? I know it is difficult to juggle your day when you have kids and work but if you can both say, ok we are walking for 45 minutes to an hour two days a week and he does his personal training for the other two days? My husband and I sometimes do a bit of circuit training together under the house and it is so much fun working out together, a bit of a bonding thing too. I’m not an expert but maybe if you worded it in such a way by saying that you too want to get a bit fitter (and not saying that you are doing it only to keep an eye on him) then maybe it might motivate him a little more too? Just a thought.
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Thanks Emmaline. We have a few bits of equipment under the house, but he has only used them a couple of times. Our kids are still too small to be left at home but to take all three of them out with us to exercise together is an exercise in itself! Currently I go out for a run and leave hubby at home with the kids. He can’t drive atm (hopefully that will change in the next few weeks) but he will ride his bike. What we used to do was if we were going somewhere as a family, one of us would walk there (the other drives the kids) and the other one would walk home. I might try swapping one of my running mornings for some circuit training under the house together. I just hope the kids don’t follow us downstairs, I don’t think the neighbours need to hear the kids playing in the yard at 5:30am
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Hello,
I don’t know if this helps – but would a diet program like Lite and Easy or Weight Watchers or anything like that help? Just to get him into a healthy eating pattern, break that grazing cycle etc? Diet contributes 60/80% of weightloss so even though he’s getting out and exercising (which is awesome!) it isn’t enough without looking at diet. Just a though and I’m sure you’ve already thought of all of this!
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We have actually tried Lite n Easy together but it got a bit too much a few weeks ago. I just couldn’t stomach another frozen meal. I lost all my weight with Weight Watchers. He won’t go to a meeting with me (apparently only women go to meetings) but WW at Myer has one-on-one meetings. When he gets his licence back I am aiming to get him to start going to those. I know he’s the type who needs to be told what he is allowed to eat and when he is allowed to eat it. Hopefully that might work?
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I hope so! I’m like that – I like to know exactly what I can and can’t have, it takes the thinking out of it.
Good luck with it all. You sound like you’re a pretty amazing wife and you’re doing all you can.
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Ooh, I just got my licence back after my 2nd round of brain surgery. This time I only needed a medical assessment by my GP. Last time I spent mega bucks on a peripheral vision check, OT assessment and driving assessment. Hope he goes ok with it.
On the food front, I have no idea. I’ve resorted to nagging my husband. An ultrasound when he had gallstones last year showed that his liver was a bit fatty. So far, not so good.
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Is that Gutbusters for men program still running? THat was very successful.
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I wish I could say something to help. This is a really tough situation! My family is in the same sort of predicament.. My mother is obese and it’s TOUGH because we just can’t get her to get her head around losing weight, and committing to it. Why don’t you recommend your husband see some kind of counsellor/psychologist? There is a reason why his eating habits are the way they are, and maybe if they can identify why, he will be able to help himself…. I hope! Fingers crossed and much love
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Is he maybe depressed?
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your husband sounds very similar to mine. I get so frustrated that he has ‘let himself go’ not to mention a few trips to the emergency ward when we’ve been scared he’s having a heart attack. I keep asking myself how many signs does he need to be sent? We have a young family and his medical history is not the best and like you it concerns me that one day i will end up a young widow. like you i’ve tried making his lunches (he’d take the lunch, eat it and then go and buy a sausage roll…), being encouraging, exercising together etc, but the reality is that unless he is ready himself he just won’t do it to lose the weight. hubby joined the gym today so fingers crossed
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Steroids make you very hungry too, so don’t discount the effect of the steroids.
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OMM: Just got my dear mum’s death certificate. Very tough.
OMM: Just booked a desperately needed holiday with my little family to Palm Cove to escape Melbourne’s winter. Need my family, a pool, a book and a cocktail
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Oh hugs, LJ. Don’t envy you the first part. Hope the second part helps.
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Palm Cove is one of my favourite places. Soul soothing stuff. Enjoy.
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I’m so sorry LJ. That’s the moment it really hits home. It is tough. Looking forward to your holiday will help. Hugs.
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Thanks guys so much..xx
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OMM: What to do about a friend who is having issues with her mental health. Just after new years she rang me up and didn’t sound like herself. This worried me as she had some sort of breakdown 10 years ago just after we finished high school (I never actually found out exactly what happened but she had to take a semester off uni). My gut instinct told me that something had again happened and this was realised when she didn’t go back to work after the xmas break. I met up with her a couple of times throughout Jan and she was not herself. She would make random comments out of the blue and justify the reason she wasn’t at work was because she had insomnia and was on sleeping tablets. I don’t believe it is insomnia alone (if that is even what it is), because of the way she continues to act.
We had a friends engagement and she was asked what sleeping tablets she was on and she said, oh I don’t know the name of them, I just take whatever my mum gives me, they are probably just a placebo anyway.
She is very hung up about the calories she consumes- as in will have half a glass of normal coke and water it down because she ‘doesn’t want to put on weight, because you know Kate when people are sick they often put on weight, and I haven’t and I have to make sure it stays that way.
She has also gotten quite blunt and rude at times with what she says, out in public. I have emailed her sister to ask if she is okay and the only reply I have gotten is X is fine, she is just resting at home. I feel as if there is a wall around what is actually going on and all my friends and I want to do is help, but we don’t know how when we don’t know what is actually going on.
I caught up with her last weekend with another friend who was a little more upfront and asked her straight out what is going on and she was very good at avoidance as well as saying she has insomnia. She resigned from her job after emailing them daily saying she wasn’t coming in, and now wonders why they won’t give her a reference.
I really don’t know what to do from this point and would appreciate if anyone has any suggestions.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
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pkk kate – I feel for you. Maybe sit her down one on one and have a big long talk to her about how worried you are. See if she realises that what she has done re her job isn’t a good thing. Offer to go with her to have a chat to her dr. Its hard when everyone else can see there is a problem but the person themselves. You are a good friend for caring. Best of luck.
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No advice, just sympathy. That sounds really tough. Good luck to you.
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I suffered terrible social anxiety during my later high school years and my friendships suffered a lot because of it; I was too ashamed, confused and embarrassed to talk openly to any of my friends about it. Plus I didn’t think they’d understand or be able to help.
A few times, at the beginning when I wasn’t acting myself, a friend would look at me strangely/in a concerned way and ask “are you okay?” or “how come you’re so quiet?” but that just made me feel terrible because I desperately didn’t want anyone to know that there was something wrong with me. It was like I was carrying around this huge, shameful secret and when someone drew attention to it I felt so exposed and defective. I always replied “I’m fine” and pretended I didn’t notice anything was wrong.
I think maybe if one of my friends had gone further than just “are you okay” and said (or even written – letter can be less confronting than face-to-face) something like “I am really worried about you. You don’t seem yourself anymore and you don’t seem happy. I am your friend and love you no matter what. Please tell me what’s going on in your head and I promise I will still be your friend, I will help you deal with this” maybe I would have trusted them enough to up. (I’m worried this makes it sound like I think they should have done more or weren’t good friends; I don’t think that at all. It’s very hard to know how to deal with these situations. And even if someone had said that to me, I’m not certain I would have opened up to them.)
But from an insider’s perspective, as my main concern was that whoever I told would not understand me, think I was a freak and not want to know me anymore, if someone had given me total reassurance that they loved me and wanted to help, I might have spoken openly.
Of course that was just in my case; mental illness can mean many different things and it’s possible that your friend has not been responsive to you because she simply doesn’t see that there is a problem. I don’t have first hand experience in that sort of mental illness so don’t know what to suggest. But if the issue is that she is too scared/ashamed to talk about it then lots of reassurance that you will still be her friend, no matter what, and won’t judge her, might get through.
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Thanks ladies for all of your responses, I truly appreciate your suggestions and support. Thanks Zabie for providing an insiders perspective- I know her family are very private people and really seem to want to pretend that nothing is wrong.
What also does not help is the fact she does not see that there is anything wrong. I truly believe she thinks she is fine. So when I ask her why she isn’t currently driving (she is 27 and every time we have caught up since the start of the year she has been dropped off) her excuse is she is saving money on petrol.
I don’t want to be mean or offensive, but it is getting to the point of frustration. She is my best friend, we did everything together- I have asked her to be my (only) bridesmaid, but now I am worried that she won’t be well enough. I know I sound selfish (and I am certainly not trying to be) but it is just hard.
Thanks again ladies, I really do appreciate it
xo
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So a month or two ago I posted about how tough work was. I finally got my butt into gear and went and saw my doctor on Monday. Work had just gotten to a point where I couldn’t face going in. My boss is clearly violating some HR policies but when I spoke to HR they backed him. He has been faking claims from others and won’t give me the details about the supposed claims so I can defend myself.
Aaaanyway, I saw the doctor and ended up in tears (a usual occurance at the moment) and he gave me a certificate for Mon to Wednesday off and has prescribed some meds which I didn’t really want but I think that I just need help to get through the next few weeks. I have to go back to see him tomorrow and I guess I’ll have to work out if I go back to work this week or not. We’re about to hit End of Financial Year and I know I have loads to do but I just can’t face my a-hole of a boss. I also feel like I’m such a drain on my friends as it’s all I can talk about.
I’ve spent the last couple days doing a lot of nothing and applying for quite a few jobs in the hope that I’ll be able to get a new one soon.
In good news I went to witchery today as they had 30% off between 12 & 3 and I have a $20 reward and I got some really awesome dark red skinny jeans for $70 instead of $130. I am already picturing them with my favourite tan boots. Retail therapy works!
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You have full rights to go on workers compensation for pyschological issues. The only thing you need to be full aware of is that your Doctor must diagnose you with an actual medical condition and not list symptoms. Stress is a symptom not a diagnosis.
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THat’s terrible what you are going thru and all of us who have been in similar situations totally identify with your pain. It sounds like you need a much better doctor. One that can see the effect this mistreatment by your boss is, naturally, having on your mental and physical state.
I can not understand the doctor giving you meds. But first you need to find a doctor who will give you a certificate for significantly more time off, which you obviously need and who can and will support you if you decide to claim workers compensation.
Years ago I went through a horrendous work experience when a drunken middle age european GM decided he didn’t like me. That was because his secretary didn’t like my because my assistant whinged to her. He made my life absolute hell, humiliating me in meetings, harassing me etc. Unfortunately I did not have a completent GP, if I had then I would not have gone through the terrible following 12 months or more it took for me to recover from this.
Harassment and mistreatment at work are very serious issues. It has a severe effect on your wellbeing. A couple of days off is not going to help. I really hope you can find a really good GP and get the time off you need to recover from this ordeal.
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Mamamia, I think we are due for a book post!
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Well, well, well … what great minds we have
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Just what I was thinking: my reading in the last month- we need to talk about Kevin, extremely loud and incredibly close, half the sky, how to be a woman, the latest robin hobb and lady rivers on recommendations from MM lovelies and enjoyed them all
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There’s heaps of mug cake recipes on Pintrest… even some low fat ones too. I think the best ones are the ones made with packet cake mix. From memory you mix one packet of angel food cake and one packet of whatever you like together. You then put it into a container and just use a few spoonfuls whenever you like with some water.
Haven’t tried any of them out yet.
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Soooo luv luv luv Pinterest
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I am so addicted to Draw Some that I’m struggling to get anything done. Seriously. And I don’t play games on my phone.
The Mug Cakes – yes brilliant! Amazing! You can do the same thing if you take loads of milo and half the amount of milk. Microwave it and you can make the best chocolate sauce for ice-cream or if you blast it for longer, you’ll get pudding. Amazing!
Favourite post once again
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Happy Hump Day All!!!
so far its been a great week for me! really busy already!! last night was date night and we went to a new resturant and yummy steak and vino and my husband had bought a new outfit and looks more sexy than usual! haha i love dressing up for date night and putting lipstick on etc makes the evening more fun with a bright lip! got a massage tonight after work cannot wait! i joined the library this week too! very excited! life has slowed down a bit and is less stressful now we got the PR so i can spend my downtime reading a new book! currently reading the Girl who played with fire and was thinking of reading the Hunger Games series after ive finished this series anyone read those?? or can recommend some good books to add to my list? i like crime novels as well as chick lit and bios too…
Going out with the work crew tomorrow night for drinks and looking forward to that ^_^
have a good Hump arvo everyone! x
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hunger games is amazing! definately read that next the movie comes out tomorrow but read it beforehand!!
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