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Ahoy!

Welcome to the week’s open post. It’s the place where you come and tell us ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that’s happening in your world.

We’re mixing things up a little bit this week and handing the reins over to Mamamia Editorial Assistant, Rosie Waterland. Rosie’s written a recap of last night’s episode of The Voice. And, well, it’s rather hilarious.

By ROSIE WATERLAND.

Ok, so I haven’t actually been keeping track of reality TV lately. I wanted to watch The Voice but I missed the first few episodes, and with the ‘Blinds’ and the ‘Battles’ and the ‘Showdowns’ and the ‘Sing-Offs’ and Joel’s hair I just didn’t think I’d be able to catch up.

But after everybody going on about it ALL the time (and by ‘it’, I mean Ricky’s exquisite face), I started to feel like I was missing out. So… in a snap decision that I was sure wouldn’t work but I’d had just enough wine to try, I decided to just jump right in.

Last night I watched my first episode of The Voice. Here’s what happened:

A guy in a snappy suit and tie opens the show. I’m not entirely sure if these are showdowns or sing-offs. Sing-downs?

The judges are released from behind a curtain and Ricky gets the biggest cheer because he is obviously a god among men and deserves to be worshipped accordingly.

The man in the snappy suit (Darren FYI – I’m catching on) explains the rules of the evening and loses me immediately. Don’t people just sing and some chairs spin around? Wait a second… Nope, get with it Rosie, that part’s over.

According to Dapper Darren, each judge has four team members who sung last night. The nation has voted. One person will definitely stay, one will definitely go and two will have a sing-off/showdown/hunger Games-style duel before the judge boots one more of them. So two will stay and two will go from each team. I think. But a diagram wouldn’t hurt.

Joel’s team is up first. Kathy gets booted. Wow, that happened fast – we’ve barely been on air two minutes and someone’s dream is over. None of this ‘stretching things out over ad-breaks’ for The Voice.

Lyric and Danny sing-off and Joel must choose. He picks Danny, who you can tell is a serious artist because he wears a hat inside and it has a feather on it. I’m also relieved because it looked like Danny was about to morph into the Incredible hulk if he didn’t get through. The other judges say some things but I get distracted by Ricky’s face. So Joel ends up with Danny and Michaela.

And we’re moving on! It only took me one round to get what’s happening and now I’m heavily invested. How do reality shows DO that?

Delta’s turn. There’s a red-head who is giving me serious hair-length envy. She gets through. A rocker called Tim and Ben the good-looking Beanie Boy have a sing-off. Delta seems completely hypnotised by Beanie Boy’s ridiculously perfect teeth. But now Rocker Tim is singing and he has perfect teeth too. And he uses his mike stand like some kind of weapon, so the competition is tough. We cut to an ad-break so Delta can compare dental records.

An update comes on about the budget but there’s no singing or beanies so I don’t care. I’m fully committed to this now. Tha Voice 4 Eva!

Delta picks Tim the rocker, and now some band called The Wanted are singing a world exclusive of their new single “Walks like Rihanna.” I assume they’re the bad-boy version of One Direction because they’re all wearing leather jackets.

Next up is Seal’s team. Mitchell Anderson goes straight through and Jac Stone and Shawne Kirke showdown.

Joel opens the comments by saying he’ll be short and sweet which of course means he’ll have the longest spiel of the night. He does.

Everyone is cheering loudly, but Seal wants to speak. He simply holds up his hand, says “Hold on” and the entire room falls silent immediately. Because SEAL. He picks Jac Stone.

Finally – Team Ricky’s turn! Lots of shots of Ricky! Luke Kennedy goes through and Emma Pask and Caterina Torres are chosen to sing-off/showdown/still not clear on this.

Emma sings a classy jazz number and Caterina sings a song with the words ‘so hot right now’ repeated over and over so… very different. Hold on – Ricky just looked directly into the camera and it was like he was making love with my eyes. Where am I?

He picks Caterina, but not before mentioning that Emma Pask’s self-funded album has reached the top spot on itunes, which causes Delta’s face to break out in shocked jealousy pleasant surprise.

A tweet by Sonia Kruger pops up on screen where she mentions she has a beach towel that matches Joel’s hair. Classic. What a perfect way to end the show. And what a delightful whirlwind it has been. I already feel like a Voice regular.

But wait! There’s one tiny bit more! A montage backed by epic music with lots of serious faces and words like ‘finals’ and ‘high stakes’ and ‘music history’. Sounds important. And intense. But Channel 9 really needn’t have bothered – my brilliant plan to get a hooked on a reality show half way through has worked. I. Am. Hooked.

Bring on the Finals! (And more of Ricky’s face please.)

Editor’s note (AKA pleasant request):

Howdy ho neighbourinos.

We are running a fantabulous Mamamia survey.

Why, you ask? Well, we want to know more about you, so that we can serve you up the best possible content each and every day on Mamamia.

Also, as you know advertising is a daily reality of the media world and we want to make sure we’re delivering you ads for stuff you actually care about and are interested in.

If you can spare us 5 minutes to fill this little baby out, it would be very much appreciated. In fact you would have our unending gratitude plus we will send Ryan Gosling to your house as an expression of our thanks.*

Click here to access the survey.

Thanks in advance.

Jam – Ed.

*Okay, the whole Ryan Gosling thing is big fat lie but there ARE some rather excellent prizes to be won for those who decide to get their survey on. Have fun!

So. What’s happening in your world? Are you watching The Voice – or something else?