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Wednesday is my favourite day of the week. The slow beginning of the week is over and the crazy end of the week is yet to come (is it just me or do Thursdays last about five minutes?). Nice things always seem to happen on Wednesdays – including our open post of the week, where we open the floor up to all of you so that you can talk about WHATEVER YOU LIKE. What’s happening in your life? At home? At work? What have you been watching, wearing, eating?

You can also ask questions of the MM Team or make suggestions. We love that.

As for what’s been happening around the office this week – we’ve grabbed some of the photos from our Mamamia Instragram account (follow us – @mamamiaaus) so you can take a look.

But before I go any further – a word from our former Managing Editor Lana with big news about the launch of iVillage Australia

“I cannot tell you how excited I am about the launch of iVillage. Excited and proud. I feel like we have collectively just given birth to a baby and it is beautiful and strong and, dare I say, very gifted (that’s a mother’s bias speaking there).

I’ve learned a LOT in the past few weeks – not only about a new content management system, but about parenting, beauty, health and celebrity. About recipes and relationships and er, sex positions (hint – click on all the hyperlinks!)

And now we are bringing our baby to you – to have a little sniff and give a little cuddle.

Welcome to iVillage. You can read more us here, follow us on Twitter here and like us on Facebook here

So cold. Need tea.

I’ve got a couple of things OMM (On My Mind) this week:

The snow. I’m heading down on Friday but have been packed and ready for about two weeks now (and considering I usually leave packing until the very last second, that’s saying something about how excited I am). I’ve been praying to the Snow Gods for lovely weather, tasty hot chocolate and short lines at the chairlifts.

Tea. It’s ridiculously cold in the office this week. What has happened to Sydney? We’re warming up with big jumpers, warm socks and delicious hot tea from Dilmah (we’re all baking – badly – ahead of their upcoming High Tea Challenge).

Jars. Thanks to this article, I have become somewhat obsessed with jars and all the things you can do with them. Check it out – 21 things you can do with jars. (Beach-in-a-jar is my favourite, I think.) I’m going to try a few of them this weekend, you should too:

Beach in a jar (via twothirtyfivedesigns.blogspot.com)

How is your week going? What’s been on your mind?

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436 Comments so far

  1. Jay

    OMM: I’m tired of everyone ripping on teenagers. We’re not that bad! :(

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  2. Pollyanna

    I am distressed.

    I have just heard that Tom Cruise is going to play Jack Reacher in an upcoming film.

    Please. This has nothing to do with TomKat or Scientology.

    This has everything to do with one of my all time favourite fictional characters being played by someone who is just so wrong for the part. Jack Reacher is 6’5″ tall, strong and silent, ex military, competent and off the grid. And can I repeat ……. Six Foot Five Inches in height, strong and silent.

    This is like Dick Van Dyke being cast as a cockney chimney sweep, Nicole Kidman as a brain surgeon in Days of Thunder, or Pierce Brosnan singing in Mama Mia. This is a tragedy of monumental significance.

    So just one more time in case you missed this,: Nooooooooooooo *sobs quietly and inconsolably into her coffee*.

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    • Jimmy's Girl

      I’m with you on this one darling…. the most awful piece of miscasting since…. well, I can’t think of anything worse than the examples you have outlined! I guess it’s all to do with the box office, hoping that TC as a big name will put bums on seats. For what it’s worth, I hope (a) the fans stay away in droves as revenge for this travesty, and (b) TC’s recent public troubles also have a negative effect on his marketability, leading to a recasting of this role for any future JR movies!

      In the same vein, I keep reading rumours about Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch stories making it to the movies, and can’t imagine who they might cast in the role… but Harry is such a unique and specific character that it would be really easy to mess it up.

      OK so it’s a first-world concern, but…. I CARE! :)

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      • Lulu

        Harry Bosch? Oh, that’s an interesting one to cast.

        ** thinks **

        Russell Crowe?

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        • missneriss

          Russell Crowe… That sounds like the best fit I would be able to come up with. I have to go and re-read all those books actually.

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      • Polly

        I hear you.

        Perhaps they could cast an “unknown” (based on acting ability) or is that too much to ask.

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    • missneriss

      I’ve been devastated about this since I heard. I always held out hope that it was just a stupid rumour that a man a foot shorter than the character would be cast. It’s Dirk Pitt and Al Giordino all over again.

      Who would be your pick to play him? Me, I have no idea actually. At a push, maybe that dude who plays Alseed in True Blood (only because they’re about the same size..?)

      Jack Reacher is also one of my favourite characters of all time. I think Tom Cruise bought the rights or something? He was heavily involved from the start, anyway. I don’t want to see it as I know it will be ruined, but Lee Child is positive about it, and has said that the character won’t be exactly the same as he is in the books (let’s face it. How can he be?!). I’m scared I won’t be able to stay away.

      And to equally important business: when is the next book coming out? And will it be set now or in the past????

      Finally someone who cares about the important topics as much as me!!!!!!!

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  3. neola

    I was so sad yesterday morning, I made a conscious decision to have an internet-free day. It was a great idea and probably the best thing I could’ve done, but it meant I missed the open post (Wednesday has been renamed Ventday for me.)

    Yesterday, the maybe-baby optimism we’d been cherishing for several days officially dissipated. I know, I know, it’s not an actual miscarriage or a loss of a real baby, but just because those things are worse, doesn’t lessen the sadness we’re feeling. Our hopes were so high this time…I know lots of you understand.

    But I’m proud of how I spent the day yesterday, being productive and also doing lots of positive things that made me grateful for all the good stuff in my life. I really believe it helps.

    Someone close to me is also going through a hard time (for different reasons) and I try so hard to encourage her to get out of the house and be proactive, but all she can do is sleep and drink her days away. It breaks my heart. Any suggestions? She rolls her eyes at my attempts to get her out.

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  4. H

    OMM at the moment is a guy. We’re both early 20′s and work together. Currently we aren’t seeing each other (although all the customers and staff at work think we are). I really like him and want something to happen but I don’t know what’s going on with him. EVERY time he goes out I get drunk texts / phonecalls from him telling me how much he wants to be with me. But when he’s sober or we’re at work nothing. We go back to being work mates. I don’t know whether he’s just playing me or if he’s scared of commitment and can only show his true feelings when he’s hiding behind alcohol. I don’t want to keep playing along and end up getting hurt. But I also think he’s really special and don’t want to just give up on him. What should I do MMteam?

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    • Cait

      Personally, I would suggest letting him slide.

      If he cant give you consistent signals, there is a fair chance he doesnt know what he wants.

      Its ridiculously hard being ‘something’ to someone who doesnt know what they want, and would thoroughly recommend playing the whole thing down until you see some consistency.

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    • Jimmy's Girl

      Warning: Bootie Call.

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    • Nora

      I’d ask him if he’s interested on going on a date together. If he says no or makes excuses then you have your answer.

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      • H

        Thanks everyone. You’ve given me a lot to think about :)

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  5. hannahfromsa

    So I’ve been quite quiet recently. I still visit the site every day but don’t really want to comment at work. But! I took the advice of so many MMers and asked the boy out for a drink. And the word didn’t end! Still need time to report on the exact result (complications!) but definitely recommend this strategy! Changing point for me- am going to be much less shy about doing it in future.

    Also the new snarly tone of the commentators makes me sad.Especially when the attack people like Kris. But we can’t let the haters ruin our little community.
    Love to all the people doing it tough this week.x

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    • Anonymous

      I highly recommend asking out guys!!

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  6. freckles

    Ok this has been omm for a few weeks now but not really sure why I haven’t brought it up sooner!

    Lucy, I love love love your hair!!!!!

    I tried getting something similar done but it’s not quite right. so a few questions…

    What have you done to style it? whenever i try to straighten it, the ends start kicking out after a few hours, which would be okay except that one side kicks in and the other side kicks out

    Is it the one length or is it shorter at the back? my hairdresser suggested making mine shorter at the back but when I see others with this style (ala Lucy) it doesn’t seem to be like this

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  7. chellebelle

    OMM right now after catching up on some MM stories is the sudden emergence of so many trolls. Why are they here now? Where did they come from? Can we please not feed the trolls? Hopefully if they’re completely ignored they’ll get bored and move on to greener pastures??

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  8. Sandy

    OMM: I need/want to buy a baby bag for my bestie, I love the mimco one but it seems rather large and heavy, does anyone know of anywhere that sells cool modern baby bags with a bit of style????
    I have googled but can’t seem to find much so any help is much appreciated :)

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    • mamaruns

      Try Catherine Manuell – I’ve got one and it’s fairly light.

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    • Jess

      I have the storksak ‘elizabeth’ in a grey colour and love it.. Always get comments on it

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    • Marijana

      how about just a stylish normal bag that has inserts/pockets. it doesn’t have to be a baby bag. I find they often look too obvious and once their not used as a baby bag anymore, their useless for anything else.
      though mine is still a baby bag, it’s ISOKI. it has inserts a pockets, yet looks almost like a weekender when the inserts are out, so I can use in the future. it’s black on one side and has a pattern on the other side, so you can turn it inside out, and the pockets are exactly the same any way. the quality is top, therefore also the price is on the higher range.

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    • B's Mummy

      I have a Oroton baby bag and it’s great. It’s the one that looks more like a handbag rather than a normal baby bag and I love it. My sister has the Mimco and she likes it but it does seem to get quite full/heavy.

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    • missneriss

      Timi and Leslie (Charlie bag). I love baby bags, they’ve taken over from my messenger bag obsession….

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      • Sandy

        Thanks so much for all the suggestions ladies, there are so many I love to choose from now!!

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  9. Louisec

    i need to thank MaybeDaisy & Trog (see their posts below) as I was going to post earlier abt how lonely I feel whine whine whine…. I’ve recently fallen out with some good friends and another couple have not called me back (yes i’m popular!) and I’m in a new area again..

    But I decided to go to the pub and guess what?! A really nice man asked me out!!! I was at said local pub last week and met him, he has a business nearby, and tonight I walked in the door just as he was leaving and he asked me out. The first thing I thought when I bumped into him is what nice eyes he has…..

    I’ve been making an effort to go out and have met some new friends which is great but it’s hard, but definitely worth the effort.

    So to anyone else out there who is lonely it is hard but make the effort, just get out there to the local pub, cafe, sports club, gym etc. You will make new friends.

    Fingers & paws crossed he calls me!

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    • elle

      That’s great Louise!

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    • maybedaisy

      Very happy for you, Louise. Hopefully this is the start of everything coming together. xx

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      • Louisec

        Thanks guys! Now I’m waiting to hear from him!! aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxx

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  10. Preggers with no. 2

    OMM: I’m in labour! I have a few big hours ahead of me- but we still haven’t come up with a name! Anyway, looking forward to meeting my newest little one, and finding out if our boy will have a little brother or sister. Also very nervous about how I’m going to cope with a newborn as well as a very active 18 month old!

    Wish me luck :)

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    • Sienna

      How exciting, how are you feeling now? Good luck!

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    • Missy

      Good luck Preggers! please update us!

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    • LaLaLauren

      PREGGERS – Hope all has gone well over night. Looking forward to hearing your news – Maybe in Friday’s B/W post. :)

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  11. Katie

    Jamila where is your amazing leather jacket from? Have been hunting for one for ages and its so classic and exactly what I am after!

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  12. Guest for tonight

    A few years ago, my brother told me that our aunty (mum’s sister) had interfered with him inappropriately while I was in hospital recovering from a car accident.

    When my brother told me this I was sickened and repulsed, but after reading the story by Anonymous (26 June), I have decided I COULD NOT CARE LESS that this happened to my brother. Like Anonymous, I was sexually abused by my brother.

    I can’t remember how old I was when it started, maybe 11? It was shortly after our parents had started letting us stay at home without a babysitter when they went out at night.

    It started with him masturbating in front of me and then it turned into oral and penetrative sex. He even said to me one night ‘If you get pregnant, just tell mum and dad you were raped.

    Sometimes I feel confused by it because I used to give in to the sex and because of that, it was consensual and not abuse.

    I’ve never told anyone else about this. My parents don’t know about mum’s sister either.

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    • Jackson

      Guest, I am so sorry that this has happened to you.
      I hope that you are able to get any help you may need and that you are able to find some peace.
      take care of yourself.

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    • elli

      “Giving in” to your brother was not consent – he’s probably bigger and stronger than you and you were too young to haveany real alternative. He’s right – it was rape.

      See if you can find some sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse support groups.

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    • Louisec

      You poor thing. But you have to know that it was total abuse!!! You were 11, a child. It was not consensual at all.

      I hope you can get some help and support as this is such a major issue. Relationships Australia are fantastic and very affordable.

      Please be assured that you are in no way to blame for this abuse, you were an innocent child. Please find someone to speak to. xxx

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    • elle

      How f**ing horrific!!! I felt disgusted and angry reading your comment. I am outraged that these things happen to innocent children :( . Have you sought any professional help around it? I can’t imagine how you must have hidden it from your family for so long & continued to communicate with your brother etc. I hope you can tell your family, get some healing and probably get your brother out of your life!

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      • Louisec

        Love your reply Elle! good on you! xx

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  13. kellie11

    I don’t really post much on this site but I need to talk about something. This week my immediate family found out that my uncle’s best friend of 25+ years has been sleeping with his wife.

    My father, my uncle and this man have been best friends since high school, I grew up with his kids and his daughter is my best friend and will be a bridesmaid at my upcoming wedding. He has been like a second father to me throughout my life and can’t comprehend that he could be so selfish to do this. My uncle is obviously devastated and trying to figure out if he wants to salvage his marriage.

    This will tear apart my parents entire friendship group and ruin many lives and I can’t help but think that it was all for nothing. He doesn’t care about my (cheating, trashy) aunty. It was a stupid fling. they have young children, one who is autistic and if they split up, I don’t think they will cope very well. The whole situation is horrible and I just want to send an impossible amount of love to my uncle.

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    • juliet0scar

      Hi kellie11,

      I don’t post much either, but couldn’t pass your comment by without replying.

      That is such a ‘yuck’ situation to be in – I hope your uncle and his children manage to make their way through the situation as smoothly as they can.

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  14. Meltie

    Hey lovelies!
    Well, its a vastly different open-posting Meltie writing this week – hooray for that!
    Some may recall my (almost) psychopathic depressive mid-week melt down last Wednesday…..??! Turns out that all of those feelings were REAL and justified, but hugely amplified as I was extremely pre-menstrual, but completely unaware of the fact.

    Its a strange thing and I only know one of the friend who has (openly) talked about how “bad” she gets, but I was seriously not of sound mind! I was fantasising about suicide, bingeing, crying, raging with anger inside and generally very miserable. I have suffered from depression at various times throughout my life and I know how that feels, but I think that 48+ hours was almost the worst I can recall feeling!

    I was blindsided by my hormones. The scary part was that all of my highly irrational thoughts seemed completely justified in my own head and once I actually got my period on Thursday morning, I felt relief and clarity wash over me like a wave of peace.

    I am due to see my GP this week to see if I can stabilise my hormones a bit as it was not a nice experience.

    I wanted to thank the many MMs who posted support and encouragement to me and helped me in this deep hole of sadness. You kids rock!

    OMM – my darling pal who is facing a very scary time in her life and as much as she is hurting inside, she is maintaining a happy stable household of three darling children, being a supportive wife, a strong daughter and wonderful friend.

    The strength of women continually amazes me, and I am so particularly proud of the dignified way that my friend is coping with her grief and pain.

    Love to all MMers doing it tough

    M xx

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    • elli

      So glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better.

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    • Lana

      Meltie. It’s a very real syndrome – pre menstrual psychosis. It’s awful and debilitating but your doctor can help you xxx

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    • elle

      Wow I am sorry you went through that. I imagine it was completely horrific. I have experienced similar feelings and its really the worst. It is interesting how hormones can affect our moods so much! I too was feeling very depressed and awful the other day then the next day woke up feeling much more normal..then got my period and thought ooh maybe it was PMS related. I’d be interested to see what your doctor suggests to help you

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  15. missneriss

    Work. But for once in a good way! I had my appraisal a few weeks ago where I basically laid it all out there and told my manager how unhappy and unmotivated I was and he apologised for not giving me the mentoring and support I needed. He immediately put me in to a new team (well, next to another guy and together we make a team!) and I’ve been busy ever since. It has been great learning new tools and my original role has even picked up. I’ve been able to really step up and take on the project management that I was hired to do in the first place. Finally!

    My gorgeous baby is growing so well. She’s four and a half months and has been rolling over for a month or so and can pretty much sit up all by herself already. It seems I have the most impatient baby ever. All she wants to do all day is sit and stand. And she’s just so much fun; full of laughter and cuddles. I’m so in love with her.

    Then at the weekend we went to a big festival (Raina’s first – her headphones are so adorable) and were so lucky to have all access passes. Nothing quite like hanging out backstage with the band and not having to drag our arses 3km to and from the car…

    And to top it all off, the sun is shining and it will be 27 degrees today. Has summer arrived at last?

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    • smashleigh

      if u dont already have one, id advise u invest in an Exersaucer for your baby. they are the best thing ever! you place baby in a sit thing and baby can ‘stand’, whilst supported and jump to its hearts content. they also have toys/objects attached for baby to play with while they are in there.

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      • missneriss

        Thanks for the tip smashleigh! We have a Jumperoo, which I guess is much the same thing? She loves it. I just searched on youtube for exersaucer videos and I think I have hours of hilarious jumping baby videos to laugh through…

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  16. Jackson

    Happy mid week everyone.

    Mia and team, just wanted to say that I am really liking the way the different posts are rotated during the day and different posts are promoted through out the day. It makes it much easier to catch all posts.

    Just wanted to add some of my thought on the problem with negative comments etc lately.
    First I think that sometimes what may be interpreted by one person as rude can be read by another person as not rude. It is very hard to convey tone in writing. I have even been guilty of this and have had somethings that I have written as being deemed to be rude when it was never my intention.

    I also think that some of the problems with people attacking the MM staff about not being quick enough to delete comments or for not proof reading a post and for factual errors etc can be because people thing you are bigger than you are and you should be more professional.

    What I mean by this is
    Over the past few months you have shown lots and lots of behind the scenes photos of the staff at MM headquarters. There were over 7 people just on staff to write. Then there was probably another 16-17 others who work behind the scenes on it, marketing, interns etc etc.
    So people build up an impression of a large organisation with lots of people all working at MM.

    Then Nicky and Lana left and were not replaced, Bec does not seem to be mentioned any more and I think she is going to be working in the e-books section, Rick left and was not replaced etc etc.

    So while we are all here reading the site, we think there is a large group of people behind the site working away.

    I have noticed that in nearly every response in relation to this it is mentioned by a MM team member that “we are only 4 people etc etc”

    But the problem is, we are all still in the frame of mind that there are lots of others who work at MM and we can’t understand why comments are not moderated better, why posts are not fact checked etc.

    This is not a criticism of Mia or her team at all. I just wanted to give my take on why people are confused about why things don’t happen at speed and why people get frustrated when it appears that things are not done to a professional standard.

    It was bought up a few weeks ago but some sort of graph or chart or something that shows what everyone does would help people get their heads around it all, or you could even do a day in the life at MM type post, or even over a month, you could profile each of the people at MM and what they do.

    You guys do a great job and obviously you are always evolving and changing, you are never going to please everyone all the time, but you also need listen to what people are saying, listen especially to those who are your loudest critics because quite often your biggest fans will just tell you what you want to hear, it is important to take on all feedback, and respond.

    I really do believe that this is a turning point in the evolution of MM and it will take some reflection from Mia and the team, looking at where you have come from, where you are going and what it is that you ultimately want this site to become.

    Hope everyone has a great week.
    ETA. i remembered that Jamilia replaced Lana-My bad

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    • Mia

      Thanks Jackson for your thoughtful post. Really good insight.
      There have actually never been 6-7 people writing for MM. Not ever. I wish!
      We’ve only ever had a small handful of full-time editorial staff.
      And while you might see other people in our behind-the-scenes images, they’re not necessarily working on this site and certainly not on the editorial.
      But I understand that may not have been clear.
      Thanks for the heads-up.

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      • Jackson

        Thanks for the reply Mia.
        Sorry if I got the figures wrong.
        I counted
        Mia, Lana, Nicky,Bec, Nat, Rick,and 1 other young lass who’s name escapes me at this time. Sorry!
        But I am glad you are able to take my comment in the spirit it was intended.
        I look forward to see the direction the site takes.

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  17. H

    OMM: Too much! Since my partner left reality has set in and now I need to find a housemate and sort out moving in the next 6 weeks. I’m trying to force as many positive thoughts in as I can because I had being so down all the time. Hopefully once I’m settled somewhere new the healing can begin. Fingers crossed!

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    • Louisec

      Hey it’s a lot but you can do it. Moving to a new place will be good for you as it won’t have the memories. Try to be positive and tell yourself that you’ll find a great new place and that will bring you new friends, experiences etc. It will take a while to get settled but in a few months time all will be better. Keep us updated xxx

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    • Kitten

      I recently moved house and was tremendously sad to leave behind memories at my old house. I was really down, and despite this new house being a brilliant opportunity, I couldn’t see that it would be my home in the same way. But when I moved, when all my stuff was inside and I got to start shaping it into a safe, loving little nest for myself, something changed within just a couple of days and I felt stronger, like a new chapter has arrived and there is a chance for goodness.

      I’m only sharing this as the change of location has really helped me and I hope it will do the same for you x

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  18. flirby

    Not a complaint, just a communication: I can’t open the galleries and I’m using internet explorer 9 – not sure whether it is something with my laptop or whether it is from issues with the site continuing?

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  19. Kris2040

    Can anyone recommend a backpack that will hold a 16 inch laptop and books for uni and/or gym gear?

    I’m in the market for a new one!

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    • goose

      I bought a Swiss Army backpack in the US 2 years ago – I use it to carry my 15.1″ laptop to/from work (30 min each way) probably 2-3 times a week, plus multiple gym/netball/etc days and it’s still going strong. Not sure where you can buy them here, and they’re not the trndiest looking things – but super comfortable and durable.

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    • Jackson

      Hi Kris. have you had a look at Crumpler bags?

      They are great and will last forever.
      They can also custom make them for you.

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      • Kris2040

        I’m looking around on Ebay etc. Problem is, I don’t know the O/S brands! I have seen crumpler bags though, will see what they have.

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        • Jackson

          There is a Crumpler store in Newtown NSW.
          you could go have a look at the bags then buy on ebay.
          Just be careful as I have heard there are fakes sold on ebay.

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        • missneriss

          Go Crumpler Kris. They are the best laptop bags ever! You can get good messenger styles and also great backpacks that open right up and are perfect for uni. They’re exie, but I’ve had mine since 2005 and it still looks pretty much new. I love it.

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          • Kris2040

            Shit yeah they’re pricey! I like the messenger style ones but for carrying it with the pram and all my uni stuff and gym gear, I think backpack’s the go.
            My current one has served me well, I got it in Cairns so 2007? But I can’t find any comparable now.

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    • georgiepie

      me too! Can’t find a good one (that doesn’t look like I’m trekking the Himalayas) anywhere, my shoulders are crying!

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    • neola

      Mine’s by Caribee and called a Workspace Plus. Very functional, plain black (not a fan of big visible brand names), super comfy and not horrendously daggy. Sorry I don’t know how much it cost as it was a gift.

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  20. Loulee

    It drives me crazy when people write your instead of you’re.

    This trend seems to be rife amongst teenagers and young people on facebook. They write “Your great.” What they should be writing is, “You’re great.”

    Why oh why oh why?!?!?!?

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    • Meltie

      Yesssssss!!!!!!!
      Drives me nuts too!!!!!

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    • Kris2040

      That just makes me say “My great what?”. Does my head in too, Loulee!

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    • Cinnamon

      Uhhh yes I HATE THIS! I see it all the time especially on comments on instagram! I just feel like replying and saying it’s YOU’RE NOT YOUR! I’ve even seen some celebs on twitter doing this as well!

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    • Anonymous

      oh me too but more the “where/we’re” as is “Where not going to make it” “We’re = we are” such basic stuff…..but really irriatesme that i cna know someone and talke to them etc, then i see their written repsone on Facebook and i then start to view them differently!

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    • KJ

      Grammer: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit ;)

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  21. LKW

    OMM
    Hi All, I’m concerned about my 2.3 yr old son. He is saying about 10 words, no sentences. Is what you would describe as “hectic” runs around, need to restrain him in his pram when we are out, only sits down to eat etc.
    I’m thinking of a hearing test or speech pathologist. Does anyone have any experience with this?
    He is a very happy content boy & very affectionate.

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    • Mia

      Hey LKW,
      I have experience with this. Not so much the hectic part but the not speaking part. My youngest son was about the same at that age. He kept ‘losing’ words, he couldn’t mimic sounds and no sentences at all.
      We got a referral to a speech therapist and hearing clinic. The hearing came back fine but the speech therapist diagnosed something called dispraxia. Which is – as I understand it – a bit like dyslexia but of speaking. He understood what we were saying but he couldn’t make his mouth or vocal cords form the right shapes to make the words.
      We had speech therapy for a year or so and now he’s totally fine – he’ll be four in a couple of months.
      Mention it to your GP and get a referral for both. Don’t panic because it’s probably very fixable.
      Good luck
      Mxx

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      • Daisy

        Mia, dyspraxia is a problem of motor planning. It can be all over or just verbal. It can be developmental but is a neurological issue and is usually not insignificant. It is difficult to make your body or mouth move the way you want. Unconscious movement such as automatically licking cake off your teeth is doable but if someone tells you to, you can’t do it. It is important to seek help early as a child’s confidence can be severely affected.
        Whatever, the problem is with LKW’s son, a paediatric specialist of some kind should be approached and a speech pathologist is a good place to start.

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    • anon

      Hi LKW,
      I had 2 hectic sons. One broke the seatbelt in his pram. They would run far and fast as soon as I would let them out of their pram or let go of their hand. One didnt calm down until a few months before he started school. Thats my experience with boys. I had them both checked by their Paediatrician who wasnt concerned. And now they’re both beautiful placid 9 and 11 year olds.
      When I see little boys who walk calmly by their mothers side I cant believe how lucky they are because I could never do that with mine.

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      • Petal

        Oh yeah, that was me too! I felt like asking the mothers ‘how do you get him to WALK and not RUN?’ My son is 15 now and I have to BEG him to get off the couch lol

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      • LKW

        Thanks for the comments everyone :) Anon, he too broke his pram strap last week – I couldn’t believe it!

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    • angie

      i’d recommend chatting to a GOOD GP, and maybe a paediatrician, and yes, see a speech pathologist for sure (i am one). Better to get things seen to earlier than later, intervention is more effective (if required) the earlier you start. good luck! sorry to hear about your son Mia, dyspraxia is a motor speech disorder, and usually takes a lot of therapy to target speech sound errors. glad he is doing well!

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  22. deb h

    OMM: how to get my boys to “tell” me when they need to go to the toilet. They are 5, and non-verbal autistic. Sick of cleaning up “code browns”. I’m sure you know what I mean

    One of the 5 yr olds is addicted to my iPhone, even tries to grab it off me whilst I talk on it. Very annoying

    And the other boy is sick and snotty

    And miss 6 has picked up some lovely behaviours from her cousin these holidays. Bring on Monday when school goes back (and the cousin will be gone by then too)

    Today has not been a good day. Which is why mr Bacardi breezer is already open :)

    And now iPhone 5yr old is screeching because I won’t give him a biscuit. I wonder when their father will be home lol

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    • Daisy

      Sounds like you have it tough! I assume the boys are in some form of intervention program. Do they have suggestions? Do the boys recognise that that is what is happening? Can you try picture cues? Or a social story with food rewards that can be faded?

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    • vanessayoung

      Have you tried your state’s disability organization. (we have Disability SA). An occupational therapist came to my granddaughter’s house and took pictures to make a social story. If you look at the Medicare website, you may also qualify for the continence allowance to help pay for nappies.
      Can anyone at your twins’ school help? The support officer’s at my granddaughter’s school are helpful.
      Toilet training is the hardest thing with autistic children whether they are verbal or not. I think (just my personal opinion) it is because they like things to be the same all the time and they do not get embarrassed about being in nappies.There are 8 kids in my granddaughter’s class only one is completely trained. It is difficult and really confronting for the adults involved, because the kids are difficult to change as well, it is a real battle to change my granddaughter.

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    • Laws for Clouds

      I believe there are some great apps for autistic kids who are non-verbal, maybe check some out?

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  23. girly

    Found the most gorgeous hair combs at Diva last Sunday – been wearing them in my hair (after googling how to put them in) :)

    Been STRESSING over my brothers wedding in Thailand. My boyfriend just doesn’t have the money right now to pay for the flights so we can’t book. It is in October and I am worrying the longer we leave it, the more expensive the flights will get :( I have my rego due at the end of the month, a speeding fine, my credit card and paying off my car! Neeed moneyyyyy

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    • Natalia

      Girly, cute new pic! Could you pay for both yours and your boyfriend’s flights and get him to pay you back gradually? Or at least book your flights and if you have to pay a little more for his later on then at least you got yours cheaper? Or maybe you will win the lotto! Fingers crossed it all works out x

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      • girly

        Thanks :) I can’t really pay for both of us, I don’t have enough. My Dad offered to pay for my flights, but not his. I have stopped saving because of all my bills. It’s a shamozzle. I tried booking the flights with the travel agent, but for some reason the airlines won’t let you book and pay them off, they demand the money upfront.

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        • Natalia

          So can your dad pay for yours and you pay for your boyfriend’s and then everyone can pay everyone back a bit further down the track? That sounds really complicated I know!

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  24. bsthurst babe

    Oh thanks so much Nat! I totally agree with you, i always look forward to this post on wednesday, it is the perfect day for this post – it helps remind me of all the wonderful things in the world ( like the weekend is only 2 days away!!)
    The jars are another a wonderful idea! All those delicious cakes cooked in them would be perfect for a cold night like tonight – pull on the old jumper, super footy socks and eat a cake from a jar! I couldn’t think of anything better.
    You guys are are some clever cookies sharing and coming up with all this stuff everyday!!

    Hope the office warms up for you, else maybe you can have a snuggie theme office day?
    xx

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  25. Ballerina

    OOhh oohh – where are those matching rings from? I love them!

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    • Natalia

      They come on the lids of Cate Ruby nail polish apparently!

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  26. Rhiannon

    OMM: I am amazed at all the wonderful things you can find on etsy.com. I cannot thank MM enough for running a post on this website. I love all the unique (and really well-crafted) jewellery you can find. I recommend everyone have a look at it.

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    • Natalia

      One day when I have a wedding I will buy everything I need off Etsy! There is some seriously amazing stuff on that site!

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  27. becauseimthemum

    I need help from the grammar/spelling police. I am creating a photobook and want to make sure the title page is correct. Should I write “Sally & Harry’s birthday” or “Sally’s & Harry’s birthday”? I think “Sally & Harry’s birthday” but someone has made me second-guess myself.

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    • iamevilcupcake

      I would say “Sally & Harry’s Birthday”.

      But, and tell me to get stuffed if you want, I think “Harry and Sally’s Birthday” flows better. But that’s just me.

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      • becauseimthemum

        No, I wouldn’t tell you to get stuffed :) Harry & Sally were just examples. It was more about the apostrophe “s”.

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    • Haven Maven

      Do they share the same birthday or is it two different days?

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      • becauseimthemum

        They share the day.

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        • Jimmy's Girl

          In that case, Harry & Sally’s Birthday. If you were to put Birthdays (plural), to me it would imply they are two separate events, ie. separate days. If it is one celebration of both their birthdays, definitely singular. Are they twins? Even more reason to say Birthday! :) My 2c worth.

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        • Bunny

          Someone might correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t it be Harry’s and Sally’s birthdays? ie with birthdays as a plural?

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          • Haven Maven

            So their actual day of birth is when Harry met Sally :P

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  28. Shan

    Hi Mamamia,
    I wrote some feedback on the Friday Best & Worst post last week. I just wanted to say thank you to Mia and Jamila for responding. Also, I think this week has been a really strong week for Mamamia. There have been some really interesting articles (particularly impressed with the coverage of the catholic child abuse cover up and the interesting take on the Q&A story).

    OMM: My super amazing procrastination abilities will probably be my undoing. Gah. Might have to stop working from home and start working in the office again to get me back on track.

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  29. Emma in Melbourne-land

    OMM I’m so excited about my holiday in November! Minusing the stuff up with Jetstar last week (mentioned in the Best & Worst post, thanks everyone for the lovely comments btw!) we have gotten most of the trip booked :) We’re going to Vietnam and Cambodia for 3 weeks and I’m sure it’s going to be epic. Hurry up November! :)

    http://www.thebeautyblot.wordpress.com

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    • J

      I’m going to SE Asia in November too! And I am just as excited as you sound. Went to Vietnam last year – have you been before? I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT and as such am going back this year and ticking off Thailand, Laos and Cambodia as well.

      Let the saving begin! I’m going back to Vietnam to hang out in Ho Chi Minh City for a couple of days (such a cool place) then heading back to Hoi An to have some epic clothes made. Woo hoo!

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    • Elisha

      OMG, i’m going to vietnam and cambodia as well! at the end of the year :D

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      • Emma in Melbourne-land

        How crazy! :) We can get all get excited together!

        I haven’t been to either country before, can’t wait! :) My bf and I will be spending most of our time in Cambodia though (2 of the 3 weeks)…in Vietnam we’ll just visit Ho Chi, Hanoi and Halong Bay :) Particularly excited for Halong Bay! Looks so impossibly gorgeous!

        Let the saving begin!

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        • Alibee

          Make sure you go to Friends (it’s a restaurant) if you go to Phnom Penh in Cambodia. It is AMAZING. It’s also an awesome NGO who take street kids and train them to work in the hospitality industry.

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          • Emma in Melbourne-land

            I’m in Phnom Penh for 3 nights so I’ll make sure to go there, sounds like they do fantastic work :)

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            • J

              Ho Chi Minh City is manic but so so cool. I wasn’t so hot on Hanoi, very westernised in comparison to the rest of Vietnam – Halong Bay is beautiful though! If you are into clothes, shoes and jewellery TRY and get to Hoi An. The most beautiful little town FULL of tailors. You can get anything you can imagine made there and I cannot speak highly enough of it. AMAZING!

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  30. firsttimemamma

    OMM I love Wednesdays! It’s my day off and I get to spend it with my 2yo daughter. She’s full on but I love every moment! This morning we caught the train into the city and she was so thrilled to be on a train.its the simple things in life that make it so special!

    She reminds me not to sweat the small stuff!

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  31. Loose

    OOM this week – It’s NAIDOC Week this week and there is so much to do and celebrate. The First Peoples of our Nation bind all the many different cultures that live on this country today and they have found us all a place to be here to. They are the custodians of our land and we have a responbilitiy to acknowledge this.

    The unlawful passing of the ‘Strongers Futures’ legislational. Australia should feel shameful about it’s humanrights record right now… Not only for it’s treatment of asylum seekers but of it’s treatment of our own people to not have the basic right of self-determination.

    Mamamia team – do you think you could do some posts about Indigenous Australian Issues? Postive stories telling the stories of Indigenous excellence along with some cheat sheets. 2012 is a very important year – 45th anniversay of the 1967 Referendum, 20 years since the Mabo Decission and 40 years of the Tent Embassy and as mentioned above the unlawful passing of the ‘Stronger Futures’ Policy

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      Thanks for the suggestion Loose, we’ll look into it :)

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      • Loose

        Thanks Lucy :-) Also forgot to mention Reconciliation – it’s everyone business! Can you tell I work all day talking reconcilation?

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  32. Sad sister

    OMM, had my worst fears confirmed that my sibling is addicted to ICE (meth). We have suspected for a long time but now it is really real. Sibling is now out of the country with next to no money and therefore there is nothing we can do but wait and see. it is heart breaking.

    If anyone has experience with an addicted loved one, I am all ears. I have an amazing friend who has been through her own personal hell and she is being an amazing support but it is always helpful to hear from others. I am so sory for anyone who has been through this nightmare.

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    • belleinmelb

      Oh no! I haven’t got any advice or experience to share but my heart goes out to you :-(

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    • Cinnamon

      I am so sorry fo this Sad sister. I don’t have any person experience with this but have you thought about talking with a drug counsellor or someone that specialises in Meth therapy? Maybe they could give you some guidance on how to approach the situation with your sibling.

      Once again sorry this is happening to you and your family.

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    • Kris2040

      Check out http://www.naranon.com.au/ for a group near you – you’ll all need help!

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      • Meltie

        Sad sister, its soooo freaking hard to be in this position!

        I feel your pain!

        I am loving Kris2040′s suggestion – I KNOW there’s a (nar-anon) group near you. They are all about looking after YOU and helping you to deal with your grief surrounding the pain of loving someone with an addiction. They will also be understanding in a way that your other friends may not. (Only as they have not experienced the same situation personally).

        You need to look after yourself, make decisions about boundaries and as hard as it is, accept that as others have said; until he is ready to accept that he has a problem and that HE wants help to deal with it, it can’t start to repair.

        Recovery is a life-long road and if you can arm yourself with a tool kit that is well-stocked, and strengthen your own resources, WHEN he does turn to you, you’ll be able to offer him everything you can without allowing yourself to be hurt further.

        Sending love, strength and best wishes for the arduous road ahead

        M xxx

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    • Loulee

      So sorry Sad Sister. It will be a rocky road ahead. Get some professional advice. You will need support systems. Sadly until she is ready to accept she has a problem your family will have a very hard time. I am sure you are worried sick. Be kind to yourself. Offer your support but try to impose some boundaries so you don’t get hurt even further. Best wishes.

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  33. fender4eva

    About six weeks ago, I decided to back away from Facebook and Twitter, and I find I haven’t missed them at all. In fact, I’m thinking of deleting both accounts, and rediscovering a life outside my study. Apparently, there is one. I’ll let you all know about it on Facebook, and Twitter. Oh wait…….. ;-)

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    • iamevilcupcake

      If you leave Twitter Fender, I’ll have no one to pick on!

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    • oliveblanche

      I got sick of all the drama on Facebook so deactivated my account for a week…it’s been about a month or two and still haven’t logged back on. Feel so much better with out it! My psychologist said that almost all her clients have had problems with Facebook.

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      • Louisec

        That is really interesting…. it can be quite harsh

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  34. sjb1273

    Best: Sunshine, three days until school holidays, finishing a bucketload of marking.

    Worst: more marking to do within next three days.

    OMM: This is addressed to Mamamia in general and Zoe Foster specifically. I would love you guys to do some research and writing about why make-up and clothes are more expensive in Australia than they are in other parts of the world, namely the US/UK. I’m sure you guys find out percentages of import taxes, etc, and the other ‘hidden things’ that push RRP in this country to be around TWICE the RRP in the US/UK.

    The state of retail here is clearly abysmal and getting more difficult, and I can’t help but think that people would buy more *in-store* if we knew we were paying roughly the same price for things as they retail for in US/UK stores, instead of buying them online and, therefore, screwing retailers out of profits and Australians out of jobs in retail.

    The $AUD has been roughly at-parity with the US dollar for quite some time now. Surely this can account for some lowering of prices. If it can happen for oil/petrol prices, surely it can happen for a MAC cream eye shadow.

    Another argument that is used to account for higher RRPS is that beauty items are often made off-shore, and shipping charges account for part of the cost. That was a fair argument until pretty much EVERYTHING WE BUY started to be made in China, which is as close to Australia as the US is, and closer than the UK. If these goods are being shipped to the US after which they are then shipped BACK to Australia, that’s poor supply chain management and should be examined.

    As a consumer I am no longer prepared to put up with higher retail prices when it’s clearly just profiteering or because ‘that’s the way it has always been done’ – it’s not a good enough reason for me to part with my hard-earned dollar.

    If we could start a retail pricing revolution, that would be awesome.

    Cheers
    sjb1273

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    • Rach the Muso

      I hear you! Especially as a musician, when I am paying so much more for things that are identical and aren’t even made in the countries that are paying so much less!

      I will be stocking up on stuff before I leave the US, and have a ton of friends to ask favours for if I want something from a store that doesn’t ship to Australia. If you don’t have that option, as I didn’t before now, its much harder to make work.

      The one that gets me is downloads which are more expensive between countries. TomTom wanted to charge me double for a US map when I was logged into my Australian account than when I created a US account. Then there’s Apple. Grrr!

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    • georgiepie

      ugh totally agree! THAT is why I buy most of my clothes online, and the rest at op shops and or local boutiques. (If I’m going to pay 40 bucks for a t shirt it’s going to be an Australian made and designed one!)

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      • Emma

        But that’s also why prices keep increasing…obviously there’s other factors like rent, which is ridiculous, but when more people buy online, clothing brands and stores have to increase their prices to make up for the decrease in sales. It might not be fair but they have a bottom line too.

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    • Sydgel

      It seems that everything is more expensive, much more, in Australia than overseas. We pay ridiculous amounts for just about everything.

      I was reading today about a Japanese bank, Sony Bank, which wants to launch here and offer mortgages. In Japan variable interest rate is 2% and they only require .1%, that is point one percent, deposit.

      Because we are so far away and isolated we pay more for everything. Not fair.

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    • Lana

      This is my husband’s bug bear and I just know that he is going to be delighted with me for spreading his word. But he’s right

      Minimum wage in Australia dictates that shop assistants are paid a fair wage – which for adults is around $22 an hour. In the States retail assistants earn around $7 an hour

      Rent in Australia is about 4 times what it is in the US

      Import Duty – there is a tax added to the cost of some imported products

      These costs have to be covered somewhere. Sadly it is in retail prices :-(

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      • Lulu

        Lana, I can understand that as the reason for the difference between US & Aus prices, but it doesn’t really explain the difference between UK & Aus prices. London rents used to be horrendous (may have changed with the GFC), but bookshops (for example) always charged a much higher A$ price than seemed to be justified by the RRP in pounds.

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      • sjb1273

        I’m happy that our unions have done an awesome job and that working in retail gives you a living wage – this is not neccesarily true in the US. But as Lulu points out, this isn’t the same as the UK and prices there are STILL lower.

        I know there is a small discrepancy between US and Canadian pricing, particularly for products like MAC (which is, ironically, a Canadian company, and yet cheaper in the US) but Canadian standard of living is similar to Australia and it’s STILL cheaper there.

        I’d like to see a pie chart of profit, taxes, duties, shipping costs, etc, and how this differs between countries. Anyone? Anyone?

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    • Sweets

      Lana is right, the big costs for Australian retailers are wages and rent. I honestly don’t know how shops survive in shopping centers where they charge astronomical rent and also take a percentage of your profits.

      I am in retail but not clothes and make up, so can’t speak for them but can tell you my experience. A lot depends on the way companies conduct their business and how they choose to distribute their product. We have instances for some products where it is cheaper to buy that product retail from an overseas website, than we can buy wholesale. Not much we can do about that. Also for overseas products you generally buy from an Ausralian distributor so if they choose not to pass on the good Aussie dollar then you are also stuck. Also the distributor needs to take their cut.

      In my industry mark ups vary from 20% to 100% but 100% is the exception not the norm.

      In fashion the norm is 100% but because it is seasonal you only really have a short period of time to sell that product at 100% before you have to discount it to move it on.

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  35. Josie

    OMM: The holiday I have just booked to Phuket. 7 nights with friends. Hubby staying home with kids. I can relax and sleep!!!

    My weight. Really want to lose weight. Why do i love food so much? I exercise often and eat well most of the time but struggle to stay motivated.

    I really need to review mine and my husband’s superannuation, life insurance, other insurances etc etc but it is so time consuming!!

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    • belleinmelb

      Yay for Phuket! I’m jealous – have an amazing time!

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      • Josie

        Thanks belleinmelb. I have never been before so i’m very excited :)

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  36. Laurensmum

    Feeling exhausted today. Lauren, who is 4, had a febrile convulsion Sunday afternoon. She had never had one before and I didn’t know what it was. We were in rural Victoria heading back to Melbourne when I noticed she was staring at me but not actually focused. She was totally unresponsive. Went stiff. Her eyes rolled back. Her forehead was twitching and she was dribbling. Then she started going blue. It was the most terrifying experience for me. We were on the phone to the ambulance whilst driving the half hour to the hospital in Horsham. I raced into emergency like a mad woman carrying my burning limp daughter. The staff in emergency and ICU were fantastic but we were so frightened. She didn’t really regain consciousness for over an hour and then didn’t speak for another 2 hours. Her heart rate was one and a half times what it should have been. We are finally home now and she is okay except for the sniffles but I hope we never have to go through that again.

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    • josiey

      That sounds terrifying! Hope it doesn’t happen again.

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    • stacey87

      wow, your brave little girl!!! I am so sorry this had to happen. I have a three year old and it would terrify me to no end if faced with this situation. I hope it doesn’t happen again, best wishes to you all. Xx

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      That sounds horrible! So glad to hear she’s okay :)

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    • CK

      Very, very glad to hear she is on the mend. Poor little thing! And poor mum and dad, having to deal with that!

      This happened to my niece many years ago, while I was with her and her mother. She was around 2 years old at the time. She looked so unwell, so unresponsive, I was convinced she was dying. We jumped in the car, my sister in law holding my niece’s limp body in the front seat, and I drove us – erratically – to the local GP, just up the road. We were so scared, I remember just pulling over, leaving the car doors wide open and not bothering to to switch the engine off, and burst into the unsuspecting doctor’s office. It was terrible, and so frightening.

      We cried all afternoon, my sister in law and I, and I remember busting open a bottle of vodka with unprecedented desire when we finally got home!

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    • Deb h

      Febrile convulsions are very scary, between my 2 boys we have been through 5 or 6 in the last 2 years. I remember the 1st one, I really thought our son was going to die, nothing can describe that fear. The good news is apparently a FC is something they grow out of, i have my fingers crossed that this is true. Hope your princess is feeling better xx

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    • Laurensmum

      Thank you so much everyone for all your kind words. At the time I too thought she was going to die. She normally gets a fever at the start of a cold. A bit of Panadol and she is then up and singing and dancing to Taylor Swift! Sunday was no different so I don’t know why this fever caused a prolonged convulsion. The shock of it all still hadn’t sunk in. Have been going non stop since Sunday afternoon with minimal sleep. Hubby has been in bed with the same bug so I’ve been cooking, grocery shopping, doing laundry, monitoring Lauren’s temp, trying to entertain her etc etc. my sister who was with us had a melt down when she got home, saying it was the worst thing she had seen. She couldn’t get the image of Lauren in emergency shaking with all the wires and drips attached out of her head. Im waiting for my big blub to come when things settle down.

      Thank you again. I’ve been reading about them in case it happens again. Hopefully I’d be in less of a panic but I just thought I was going to lose my beautiful little dancing princess and all logic went out the window.

      Thanks for listening. Means so much xoxo

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    • beansbeansthemagicalfruit

      I really wish febrile convulsions was something discussed in pre-natal classes or doctors talked about this more at our pregnancy check ups. Even just being given a pamphlet before leaving the hospital would help because so many of us have no clue what’s going on when it happens or what we should even do.

      Like others, I too thought my son was dying. When the paramedics couldn’t get him to stop convulsing, a second one was called for them to try. After another hour, they became quite concerned as they’d already given him all of the medication he could have for a child his age and size and he wasn’t improving. They finally took us to the hospital where he stayed for 10 days.

      Thankfully it hasn’t happened in the 2 years since but I still freak out every time he gets a cold. Just picturing him that night is enough to make me feel sick. My heart goes out to you Laurensmum and I really hope your experience is like ours (so far) in that you and Lauren don’t ever have to go through that again. Wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

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  37. Dalloyau

    OMM: I love my boyfriend of 4 years so so much, I can see myself marrying him and having kids and he wants the same thing with me.
    But recently he has been working so much he has lost his libido and actual time for us to be intimate at all.
    I value sex and intimacy highly in a relationship, but he doesn’t.
    I’ve been becoming quite close to a colleague of mine at work, just flirty and we talk a lot. I’ve been considering at least kissing this guy to just put it out of my mind and to get over it.
    I don’t want to cheat- I’m not that person, I’m just having feelings that I’m unsure about and unsure about how to handle.

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    • JosieY

      Don’t do it! (says the complete stranger, feel free to ignore me). If you ‘just’ kiss him, what’s next? Either you love your boy enough to try and work things out with him, or you don’t. Have you spoken to him about it?

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      • Dalloyau

        I have. I’ve asked him to go to the doctors. Maybe there is something he can take to increase his libido.
        We also still live with our own parents so there is a lot of pressure when we go to bed together because the eyes sort of follow us up the stairs.

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        • belleinmelb

          I agree with Josie – don’t do it! Finding a good person who loves you that you love back is invaluable and surely not worth risking for a kiss with someone else. Could you look at moving out if that would help? Or could he be, ahem, there for you so to speak if he isn’t feeling in the mood himself?

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    • Louisec

      Danger danger danger!!!! Don’t do it. You WILL regret it.

      Instead focus on yr relationship and you do need to address your different libidos and intimacy priorities.

      Don’t be unfaithful to this man that you love. Maybe you need to have a six month break to work this all out? Good luck.

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    • stacey87

      No one is ever a “cheating” person to begin with really.. in my opinion, don’t cheat though, the attraction to this other guy is being influenced by the situation with your boyfriend. It definitely would not help living with parents….

      Relationships aren’t easy and there will always be tough times.. I am sure you already know this.. I imagine things will change when you eventually move out, find a work/life balance.. and I bet you will look back and realise that you made the right decision to be faithful, no doubt about it. Sometimes flirting is harmless and can be flattering, and it is okay to just leave it as that, as long as feelings arent hurt.
      Good Luck :)

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    • Sarah in Sydney

      DO NOT DO IT! Kissing him will not put it put of your mind nor help you get over it, it will makes thing a million times worse not to mention break your mans heart and possible lead to the end of your relationship with the man you just said you want to marry.

      Relationship problems should never be taken outside the relationship, it just won’t help. Talk to him, seek help together or independently but not by kissing a colleague. All relationships go through hard patches, if you want a life time with this man this is just one of many. If he is worth fighting for then fight, if not perhaps you need to walk away. either way, don’t cheat.

      I am not meaning to be harsh, I just truly believe ony bad can come from what you are suggesting.

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    • Kate

      Dont do it,

      Be honest with you partner, work through it, all relationships have ups and downs and dry spells. If he is worth it, work it out… if not break it off with him and see where this new guy takes you.
      Its not fair on your current partner, think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed.

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  38. Kate

    Worst: My hubbie is in Canada, and my 14month old was just told she has whooping cough (despite being immunised!!). Its horrid to watch her cough and cough through the night. I just want to hug my husband and have a good cry. I also feel ill.

    Best: Bubs has some antibiotics and will hopefully be on the mend soon!

    OMM: how do you reconcile with a family member who publicly disrespected and insulted your family, marriage, values, intelligence etc because you thing gay marriage is a good thing and challenged him on his belief that it is not.
    ……and how do you tell your mother you really think she suffers from anxiety and needs professional help with out her thinking it is a personal attack on her and her worth.

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    • Haven Maven

      Write to them both. Kindly to your mum. Its a hard call to make x

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    • elli

      Re your mum, how about “I’m worried about you, Mum. A friend [make one up if necessary] had anxiety and his/her symptoms were X, Y and Z and I see you doing similar things. Will you humour me and see the doctor? I’d be delighted to be wrong.You’re the only mum I have and I want you to be well.” I’ve had treatment recently for my anxiety and depression and I wish someone had managed to bring it to my attention years ago.

      Re the homophobic relative, you don’t have to reconcile with them if you don’t want to. Although it would be lovely to have everyone happy and laughing again, that might require some compromise – which you might no9t wish to do on a matter that’s important to you. How about ringing or writing to him to declare a truce: “I’ll respect your right to your opinion, even if I don’t agree with it, if you do likewise to me. And next time we meet we’ll try to avoid this topic of conversation.”

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      • Kitten

        Elli, your draft letter is really articulate. I don’t have the same issue exactly but sometimes my mum and I do find it to talk without being defensive, so I’m copying this to use in future. Thank you! (and Kate, I hope your Mum is okay)

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    • cmx

      Maybe talk to your own GP about your concerns re: your mum? They might be able to either calm your fears or confirm what you’re thinking, and give you some pointers on how to deal with it/talk to her/get her help?

      Glad to hear bub will be on the mend soon.

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      • Kate

        Thanks for the ideas, I really appreciate it!!
        I might talk to my GP, and the idea of the friend is a good one, Its just so hard. She wears her stress like a badge and can not deal with anyone suggesting she may not be coping with things. If my sister and I try to talk to her, she thinks that we have been talking behind her back and ganging up on her, then breaks down and says that we think she is horrible and the worst person etc etc… and thats just the tip of it.
        Such a fine line.

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  39. MissV

    OMM: I turned 26 yesterday

    also OMM: Something happened at work today that made me really want to just walk out. There will be no consequences for the person who complained against me, I won’t be asked for my side of the story and basically sh*t will hit the fan and i will cop it. There’s a big push towards communication in the last few months but it’s basically meaningless. It translates to “you communicate with us, but we won’t communicate with you.”

    I’ve been looking for new jobs for awhile but now with all those budget cuts to tafe and education, i’m worried I won’t find anything.

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    • jamilarizvi

      Happy birthday MissV!!! From what I can tell so far, 26 shits all over 25. It’s a good age to be! Xx

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    • H

      Happy birthday! 26 has been good to me so far

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    • Millie

      Hi Miss V
      I had my birthday yesterday too, but turned a little bit older than 26. Let me tell you 26 was a great age! Enjoy

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      • princesstan

        Another birthday here for yesterday too! Sadly not 26, more like the very upper end of my 30′s!
        Enjoy being 26, it really is a fantastic age to be. Happy Birthday!!

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    • MissV

      Thanks everyone!
      I’m looking forward to being 26!!

      and happy birthday to Millie and PrincessTan for Tuesday as well!!

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  40. Sweets

    I was going to post this suggestion on the Sex Workers post but thought it might be better here.

    MM staffers something to think about:

    There has been a lot of nasty commenting lately, often times from Anonymous posters. On controversial topics it is often hard to follow the discussion because there a several people calling themselves anonymous or variations of. Have you thought of making people sign up with a name before commenting?

    This might also solve some of the trolling problem.

    Just a thought. :D

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    • belleinmelb

      I agree – it would stop people hiding behind the safety of anonymous at least

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    • Mia

      Hi Sweets,
      We have considered it and it’s always a possiblity for us. Generally though, while some posts might get a bit heated around certain topics, we are very lucky in the vast majority of cases to have commenters who are smart and respectful. We’ll keep weeding the ugly minority out!

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      • Sweets

        Thanks for your reply Mia. I appreciate you listening. It must be hard keeping track of everything that goes on in each post with only a few of you.

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  41. Snow

    OMM: scared, excited, nervous, worried….
    Last night the condom broke… I am 26, married and have a home BUT my husband does not want a baby right now and wants me to take the morning after pill. I don’t want to take it
    What do I do… I’m so upset at his reaction
    Any advice MMers? has anyone been in a similar situation

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    • MissV

      It’s a tricky situation because having a child is a huge responsibility and both partners should be involved in the decision making.

      There are cons for both of you. If you choose not to take it and get pregnant you may lose your husband, but if you choose to take it then you might resent him.

      There’s not alot of time left so I suggest talk to him as openly and honestly as possible about what you want and what he wants.

      Good luck with your decision.

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    • josiey

      My guess is that it’s the shock. If you have spoken about having kids and he’s all for it, just not now, then I’d go for it. Just be open about it!

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    • Jimmy's Girl

      The breakage of a condom is not really the best catalyst for deciding whether to have a baby. It should be a happy joint decision, ideally, and based on your circumstances. If your husband does not want a baby right now, he does have a right to express that. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear if you do want to be pregnant. All the best with what you decide. x

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    • May!

      I would take the morning after pill and talk to him about his reaction. Maybe he’ll realise he was brash and will come around in a few months, but I don’t think trapping your husband into fatherhood is most ideal situation…

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    • Snow

      Thank you all for your advice. I am still so torn… my worst fear is losing my husband or having a father to our child who isn’t really interested in being a father but on the other hand taking the pill would make me feel awful. This is the hardest decision i will ever need to make and i really don’t want to make it but i can’t exactly just ignore it either :(

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      • Preggers with no. 2

        I know this is definitely the worst advice to give and please ignore it- but I’ll let you know my experience. My partner never wanted kids and I knew I wanted them in my thirties. When I was 27 I accidentally got pregnant (was on the pill) and got the shock of my life! It took me weeks to come to terms with it, but it only took my boyfriend (of 9 years) 2 days to get excited. We are now so happy that we never had to make the decision, and are glad we’re young parents. But in saying that we’d been together forever, own a house, have good jobs and access to maternity leave. If any of those things weren’t in place we would’ve been in a very different situation! Sometimes life makes the decision for you, and it’s good to roll with it.

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    • CH

      Hey Snow
      What are the chances of you getting pregnant? If it’s not around the time of ovulation then it’s not really possible. Also if you are going to use the MAP you’ll need to within 72 hrs.
      Goodluck

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  42. Sophie

    I would like to work (part time) from home but I’m not sure what kind of work I could do. How do you go about searching for work? What kind of work do mamamia readers do from home?

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    • mummamoo

      I do bookeeping from home and its wonderful. Frantic at times (BAS, tax, PAYG reporting) and I tend to take it more seriously than I need to. I am doing about 15 hours a week, which I fit in around school pick up-drop off, sport and my 2.5 year old. I’ve been doing it for about 18 months, but have always worked as a bookeeper pre-kids.
      All of my communication with clients takes place via email, so I dont have to panic about my kids screaming in the background during a phone call.

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      • becauseimthemum

        I am also a bookkeeper, working from home, about 15 hours a week, around the kids. Have done so for about 10 years now. I love it. I wish I had started working for myself way back in the beginning. I love that I can work first thing in the morning or last thing at night. When I’m particularly busy I can get up super early and get an hour or two work done before the kids get up. Or I can still be sitting here at 11pm working in my pjs if necessary. Every cent I earn is for me (and some for the tax man too). My only issue is juggling kids over the school holidays but I have a friend who does the same thing so we trade kids during the holidays.

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        • Sophie

          Thank you mummamoo and becauseimthemum for your replies.

          My husband suggested a book keeping course. I’ll look into it. For some reason I was thinking about data entry but I’m not even sure what it is!

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        • K

          This sounds really good. Do you suggest any book keeping courses?

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          • becauseimthemum

            I would start with a Cert IV Bookkeeping. Once you’ve got a few subjects done, think about which software program you want to use and do some training in that. You can study online in your own time but there are times when it’s very difficult to get motivated, especially when you have kids and there are SO MANY MORE important things to do. But it is do-able. If you want to prepare and submit BAS for your clients you will need to register as a BAS Agent with the ATO and fulfil their study requirements.

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            • Another bookkeeper

              I’ve thought about working from home but can’t figure out the practicalities- like how do you input all the data without the paperwork cheques without their cheque book etc ? Do you have to go in and pick up all their stuff or mail it ? How do I figure out what to charge etc …….I’ll probably never leave my job :)

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            • becauseimthemum

              In reply to Another Bookkeeper but it won’t let me reply directly:

              I run things differently depending on the client. I have about 15 clients, some I do work for every week including payroll, some I do work for monthly and others only quarterly. Needless to say I get quite busy at the end of each quarter because I still have to do the weekly and monthly work, as well as the quarterly work but it all balances out in the end!

              For the weekly clients I have set up a template which they complete with the details of invoices I need to generate, a payroll sheet detailing wages to be paid, I have access to the company bank accounts to I can download the bank statement and reconcile it weekly. As I’m reconciling the bank account and I come across transactions I need verification on, I email a list of these to the client and they usually fax back the tax invoices to match the cheques they’ve written, or the bank deposit slips for payments they’ve received.

              For the monthly and quarterly clients, I collect their paperwork or they post it to me if they’re outside my local area. Then if I have any questions I email the client.

              So most of my work is done via email and fax so I rarely see the client.

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  43. rivkah

    Hello all, I’m a long time reader of MM, but this is only my 2nd post and my 1st for what’s on your mind…

    What’s on my mind today is:

    - Monday’s Four Corners story about the Catholic Church’s coverup of child sexual abuse. I just can’t stop thinking about it.

    - the loneliness that I often feel as a newish mother on maternity leave. I have friends with children who are nearby, access to support and social networks etc and yet I still find parenting a small baby can feel very isolating at times.

    - annoyance at people who continue to use mobile phones while driving. I was nearly rear ended by a guy this morning who was on his phone. Some days it seems like every second person is doing this. So arrogant and careless. What could possibly be so important that it can’t wait?

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    • Sarah in Sydney

      Despite having friends and support, being a new mum is bloody hard and isolating. I think many of us feel that way. It does get better, it does. But, if you really feel like it isn’t getting better/easier then there is support out there. Chat with your maternal child health nurse and tell her how you are feeling. Hugs honey, being a mum is the hardest thing I hav ever done!

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    • LaLaLauren

      Welcome!

      I seen a guy driving this morning – mobile in one hand and drinking coffee with the other. Made me very angry, especially when he passed a police car and continued on his merry way. Grrr!!! When will they realise its about the safety of everyone else, not just themselves.

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    • Mia

      Nice that you’ve ‘come out’ Rivkah!

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    • rivkah

      Thanks for the welcome Sarah, Lauren and Mia :)

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  44. angie

    Wednesday- an odd day for me, as I work part-time, Mondays and Tuesdays, so Wednesday I have my ‘mummy hat’ back on and the adrenaline from 2 days at work dissipates… home today with Mr 3 and Mr 6 (school holidays), so it’s a lego-day!
    OMM- working for the Qld government- not a good time as Campbell Newman starts his slash and burn- staff gone and looking like increments to be frozen for the next 3 years, no training budgets…
    On a happy note, planning a holiday for August, hope to get to show my boys some snow….

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  45. boodie

    OMM, I have been in hospital since October last year, this morning I conquered my first step, I need to be able to climb four steps to get back into my house. Now that I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel, and home, my partner, my children and my cats are in my grasp, I feel scared.

    Scared of my ability to actually be able to function at home with my decreased mobility, scared of leaving the hospital environment where everything set up for people like me.

    It’s a horrible feeling and one that the hospital psychologist and I are working on, but it still worries me a lot.

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    • angie

      good luck to you boodie- one day at a time!

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    • Haven Maven

      Best of luck, boodie x

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    • Louisec

      Congratulations on your amazing achievement! You’ve obviously been through a huge amount and gotten so far.

      of course you feel nervous, who wouldn’t? It’s natural. Small steps until you feel more confident. Best wishes xxx

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    • May!

      Oh good luck to you boodie! I’m glad you’re talking to the hospital psyche about it – I’m sure most long-term patients have a lot of anxiety about going back home and being away from immediate medical care for the first time. Wishing you well x

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  46. kadriye

    OMM why do my kids have to get sick on school holidays? We had all these lovely plans of cinema trips, coffee shops and swimming and now everybodys at home in pjs driving each other other crazy.

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  47. Haven Maven

    Hey MMers – happy hump day.

    Spending this week kid free as the cherubs are with Dad. Yay! Porridge can be any meal fo the day, dishes and laundry can wait and no noses or bums to wipe other than mine :)

    Tiny Tim turned out to be Tiny Turd. Tried to practically hump me in his car. Classy much? Having a bit of a dating hiatus. They shit me. Nuff said.

    Also had a bit of a falling out with my gf who just had the baby. That has upset my applecart a bit.

    Having a big musical week this week. Our buddy who does the kareoke shows we attend has a new one on tonight so we’ll all rock up there after Origin to have a warble and be rentacrowd. Will watch Offspring when I get home.

    My big girl texted me this morning to say she has 2 distinctions and 2 credits for the past semester. I’m insanely proud of her.

    Considering going to a friend’s dance party this friday night. I think that might be just the therapy I need. That and a ride on another friend’s Harley.

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    • iamevilcupcake

      Ah screw you Tiny Turd.

      Enjoy your dating break Haven. Hopefully someone awesome is just waiting on the other side :)

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  48. Nerrida

    OMM – boy wonder is sick (he’s three). I hate when he is sick. Upside – I called in sick to work and we’ve been cuddling under a blanket all day. Also OMM – pie. I could so go a pie right now. Any kind, sweet or savory. It’s the simple things.

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    • Anonymous

      you use your sick leave for when your child is sick? how interesting

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      • Jimmy's Girl

        … and your point is?

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      • ladylaura

        You’re allowed to, anon. My workplace doesyway, yien yoiyou enter it into the system you select ‘sick leave – carers’.

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      • hms

        It’s a called carers leave and how many days you are entitled to take each year depends on your agreement or award. It’s usually a maximum of 5 days per year & it may come out of your sick leave. It doesn’t have to be used just for sick kids, it can be used for all immediate family or members of your household.

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      • Anonymous

        Most 9maybe every) workplace is olbliged by law to provide carer’s leave (and yes,t is pretty much your sick leave converted – at least where I work it is). Its part of the FWA

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      • Nerrida

        Sure I use sick leave for when my kid is sick. All personal leave and carers leave at my workplace comes out of sick hours. So when I say I called in sick, I called and said my kid is sick, knowing full well the day gets written off as sick.

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      • sydgel

        What do you think she should do? Leave him home alone sick???

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  49. Victoria

    OMM: when my wedding save-the-dates and invites are going to turn up at the office. Really should’ve selected the fastest postage, instead of 21 days! The waiting is killing me!

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  50. Emmeline

    I feel, at the age of 32, that I am at a massive cross road in my life at the moment. I have 2 sons (3 and 22mths). I am at the point where I could have a third baby which I think is a fabulous idea or a horrible idea depending on what sort of a day I am having with my other two (they do no day care and I don’t work).

    OR – I clean up the baby toys and get rid of my baby clothes and venture out into the world again to work or study. I sent away for some brochures from uni to read up on some courses and I feel a pull towards psychology. I would have to study by distance and part time though so would it be LIFE suicide to commit to eight huge years of uni? Can anyone give any advice as to what it takes to do this? I’ve never felt so torn before about which direction to take in my life. My husband says that he will be happy with whatever decision I make (gee, thanks for your help!). Help anyone? P.S In case anyone notices, yes I did post about this last week but only got one short reply so was wondering if anyone else could help me? x

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    • Haven Maven

      Emmeline, what does your gut tell you? At around the same age I studied and then had baby # 3. Listen to your gut. x

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    • AS

      I’m a psychologist. If you’re interested in ending up as a psychologist (by no means the only thing to do with a psychology degree), try to talk to someone who has recently become registered. It has become much more difficult recently for those with 4 years of training to obtain registration. It’s easier for those who are 6 year trained but that would be a huge committment. I have two little ones (23 and 2 months) and can’t imagine undertaking my training again. That said, I love my work and am looking forward to getting back to it as I’ve been off two years so far. The Australian Psychological Society can put you in contact with local psychologists and advise on registration requirements.

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    • JK

      Emmeline, I studied psychology and please remember that if you want to practice as a psychologist, you need to do a 6 year full time degree, i.e. master’s degree. You need to have great marks throughout your bachelor degree in order to get into honours (4th year) and again you need to do well in your honours in order to get into the master’s degree (which is another two years of full time study).

      I feel like a lot of people don’t realise that you can’t practice as a psychologist with a 3 or 4 year degree and just wanted to make sure you were aware of this. It is a huge committment and I found the work load to be really tough but having said that, it has been extremely rewarding and I couldn’t imagine studying anything else. Personally, I don’t think I could have done it part time, it’s such a long road as it is, I feel like it would have taken me a life time to complete it part time.

      If you don’t continue on to do you postgraduate studies, there are, of course, other jobs you can do with your degree.

      As for your decision, I don’t think anyone here can tell you whether you should have another baby or study, you are the only one who can do that. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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      • AS

        Yes JK, well expressed. I found the same and was lucky enough to do well in honours and get into Masters. It was a long 6 years (full time) at uni. There’s quite a bit of discussion in the profession about the difficulties and disincentives for people intending to train as psychologists. If you are considering psychology as a profession, also look into social work. Good luck with your decision.

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      • Narelle

        Just thought I’d add my bit. I’m part way through the process having completed my honors last year before having my second baby a month later. I have studied a combination of full and part time, on campus and off over the years of having my kidlets and I guess still have Masters to do at some stage but will probably wait a little until the latest is wandering about. I don’t even know yet what direction I’ll take with it and not particularly concerned – the process of study and being challenged has been more important to me during these tied up years with little ones. I’ve seen so many people throughout my uni times so stressed about the end game they’re missing the moment – I figure of you’re unsure about your ultimate vocation, make steps toward learning – at least you’ll be indecisively educated! X

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    • Louie

      Hi Emmeline, I went back to uni after the birth of my first born – part time. 7 years later and 2 more babies and I only have 4 subjects to go! I am so glad that I did it as I now have so many more options open to me regarding work. It really was the best thing for me! Good luck with your decision.

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    • MissV

      Hi Emmeline,
      Have you thought about counselling? I did a Masters in Counselling (not really, dropped out half way) but full time it’s 1.5 years and part time it’s 3 years and most uni’s have distance education available.

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      • Emmeline

        Hey Miss V – I googled this course today and it seems to be only for postgraduates? Had you completed a degree prior? See….I don’t even know what I’m talking about….*hangs head*

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