Welcome to the open post of the week where you can see what we’ve been up to behind-the-scenes at Mamamia and you can then talk about ANYTHING that’s on your mind. Maybe something is bothering you. Maybe you’ve had some good news. Maybe you need some advice. Or need to vent. Or want to ask the community something and tap into the infinite source of MM wisdom. Simple really. But effective.
The recipe
Lana brought in home-made almond brittle this week.
Almond brittle
I’ve asked her to share the recipe:
- Roast slivered almonds for a little bit (precise hey?)
- Then boil 3 cups sugar with 1 cup of water water and leave on stove for 8 minutes till it starts to get golden
- Pour the golden syrup stuff that you have created over the almonds and then wait till it sets (not very long)
- Melt dark chocolate (I used nestle melts) and pour over the almond brittle
- Don’t forget to serve it to your guests but if you do then just take it to your friends at work.
The interview
I’ve been organising (and doing) lots of video interviews for Mamamia on Sky News. Getting into the swing! Charlotte Dawson stopped by this week to get down on the floor with me and drink tea. She brought cupcakes which were delicious and inspired some great conversation. I’ve always admired Charlotte’s insistence on being honest – about her relationships, her surgery, her age, her disappointments…she’s one strong chick who tells it like it is.
I loved our chat. You’ll see it soon.
Charlotte Dawson
The show
Looking so forward to this week. Every one of these guests has written for Mamamia and I love their very different take on life. Should be BIG FUN.
From left: Tracey Spicer, Sam de Brito, Nina Funnell, Brendan Maclean
At most TV gigs, there are hairdressers and makeup artists to ‘joosh’ you. Not at Sky News! Which I quite love about it because it’s true to the way the channel runs – it’s about content not joosh. So you DIY jooosh.
I’ve had to learn how to do this (after more than a decade of being on TV it’s ABOUT TIME) but some guests request a bit of help! Enter Revlon who kindly sent over a bunch of goodness that we make available to our guests (yes, even the blokes – that TV lighting can wash you out big time).
Nothing to be embarrassed about boys – wait, who am I kidding. The boys are the first ones who want some foundation…..
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The competition winner
After we posted about the American Express Room for Thought competition, Mamamia reader Elle sent us this email..
Hey Mamamia team,
I was just writing to let you know that after I read Lana’s article, I decided to enter with my idea. To my great surprise I made the top 3 finalists in the community category! So I just wanted to thank you for making me aware of this opportunity as I’m so excited about it!
Thanks,
Elle
And guess what – she won! Her Drummer Restaurant idea will be here, and open 14th-16th Sept from breakfast until dinner.
The boob
I sent this screenshot to a male colleague to ask him about a technical thing. And didn’t he get quite the surprise when he opened his email. In some workplaces, this would be called ‘sexual harassment’. At Mamamia, it’s called ‘email’.
yikes
The Lend Lease Family Life forums
The forums have begun and Paula Joye, Bec Sparrow, Jo Lamble and I have begun touring Lend Lease shopping centres around the country. Last week I went to McArthur Square and Erina Fair and Bec and Paula went to Menai aand Port Macquarie. This week, I’m off to Maroochydore. Next week Melbourne and after that, Perth.
There are still tickets if you want to come along – bring a friend! Bring 3! It’s lots of fun and there is tea and usually cupcakes and (if you’re lucky) a little giftbag! Would love to see you there, go here to register.
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The website
Lana discovered Torn Lives, a blog that collects ripped-up pictures along with something reflecting back on the missing parts. It’s kind of like the next PostSecret – definitely worth a look.
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‘Manx’ – Man spanx
Imagine a guy unbuttoning his jeans and discovering……this.
Manx (men's version of Spanx) from Asda
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Look out beergut, you’re about to get sucked into oblivion. These Bodysculpt Trunks from Asda claim to lift and firm flabby backsides, suck in beer bellies and smooth away love handles.
Oh man…….
How’s your week going – what’s on your mind?
Comments
359 Comments so far
One adjective that defines Simon Wilby is smart. He is the CEO of Smart Power, Inc. He developed
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I like mamamia because my thoughts get some airplay. There is no censorship.
OK, I get flack from folk who do not agree with what I say. But that’s OK, part of the game and is democracy. I enjoy the repartee.
A pox on newspapers, who refuse to publish letters because they disagree, or contradict or criticise the newspaper’s political, cultural or social attitude.
Newspapers will only publish letters that agree with their stated political etc view.
it is hypocritical.
I have even written to newspapers’ featured writers, asking if they would like to comment on, or investigate, a particular option.
Dead silence. If it’s not their idea, forget it.
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This is your life, not a dress rehearsal. Elope, but still wear the dress. Blame it on the romance inspired by your honeymoon/holiday destination. Your real friends will understand. You can always invite some of them to watch you elope.
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I am getting married in next year. I have my dress planned. Its hot.
But I don’t want to have a wedding. I feel like i’m just doing it for our families but in all honesty i just don’t care to make them happy anymore. MY parents are divorced and his have never fully accepted me because I’m not a hard core Christian as they are, I’m Jewish. My dad doesn’t want to come to the wedding because my mum will be there. I don’t want to invite my older half brother because he was alwasy cruel and just horridly nasty with me.
My fiance is my best friend. Our home is more full of love and kindness and laughter then I ever remember my home being as I grew up. He says the same thing. And when I go home now, I’m so happy to be goinh home (growing up I avoided being at home like the plague). He knows how I feel but still… I just can’t put my foot down about this because it doen’t just effect me. I love the idea of having a wedding. If a wedding was him, me and a bunch of our really good friends and none of our family who I love but just make me so nervous about this. I sound awful.
So what the hell do I do?
If this was a song on my iPod it would be playing on repeat at top volume. It is ALL I think about.
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Elope. Make it just about the two of you ’cause that’s the most important thing. Don’t let it wreck your day – you’ll always regret it. After you elope have a dinner or gathering with your really good friends – it’s just a party then, not a wedding.
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Have y’all ever thought of sticking a “satire” icon on some of your posts? Methinks it would be handy ever so often
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I was wondering if anyone else is completely over Miranda Kerr and hearing about what an amazing earth mother she is with her beautiful baby boy. In all her interviews I have heard her talk about how hard it is to be a woking Mum. Seriously! I am sure she has a lot of paid help.
I heard her on the radio offering parenting advise and I wanted to scream. How hard is life when you are a super model and married to a damn sexy actor.
I have three kids, I work and I study. I don’t look like a supermodel and I don’t get paid to look good. Aaahh, so over Miranda. (Does this make me unAustrailian?)
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Wanting some advice from some other’s out there that have felt or overcome feelings of what I think is depression. I have two beautiful children and a loving husband and I feel guilty for feeling and acting the way I do at the moment. I just can’t stop feeling angry, snappy, sad, lethargic and just basically not finding alot of enjoyment out of anything at the moment. I feel like im being a bad mother to my kids because everything just feels like such an effort for me. I don’t know if I want to open the door up to admit to someone that I think I’m depressed because in the back of my mind I think one day I will just snap out of it or that I actually have the power to just stop feeling this way…obviously as of yet, I haven’t woken up one day and just felt better but I still for some reason think that this day will come. Don’t know if this is a post natal thing, (my last baby was born 7 months ago) or what it is. Anyone out there with similar experience or advice?
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Dee, I have been through that before. When my daughter was 10 months old I developed the symptoms of depression. My GP agreed that I was likely depressed but initially suggested some lifestyle modifications, and they worked wonders. However, I have several friends who had more severe symptoms and they have had great success with medication and counselling.
I strongly suggest you speak with your GP. If you’re not depressed, that’s great! You’ll find a way out of this malaise in time with love and support. If you are depressed, that’s great! A diagnosis will enable you to access help. The sooner you get a professional opinion, the better.
In the meantime, sunshine and exercise is excellent for helping your mood. Most counsellors or doctors treating depression will advise you to partake of those free & easy treatments
WIshing you all the best
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Thanks sometimeskaren. I agree, I will probably go to the doctor just to check things out but you are so right about lifestyle changes as well. I do feel better on the days that I actually get out of the house and it seems to be worse when I am home with the kids for a few consecutive days. Thanks so much for your reply. Good to know there are others that have felt like this!
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It is so difficult to keep a balanced/positive attitude when you spend all day with small children who can’t communicate well and require constant attention and nurture. Of course you love them, of course they’re beautiful kids, of course you wouldn’t have it any other way … BUT it does take a toll on your mental health. I find that making a routine of outings is really helpful (eg Mondays do storytime at the library, Tuesday visit friends, Wednesdays find a park, Thursdays do the shopping etc). When my little ones were at home it gave them something to look forward to and it gave me a framework for breaking up the week.
The other thing is to make time for YOUR friends. A friend of mine has a regular crochet drop-in night (we get there in dribs and drabs after 8pm, drink loads of tea and pretend to crochet). Some other friends and I will go to the movies, and I have other friends who go out once a week during dinner time to walk around the lake together (the hubbies feed the kids on those nights). There are a lot of things you can do to maintain friendships without having to always have the kids around.
The connection with your husband is important too. We found it hard to do date nights because we couldn’t afford a reliable sitter, so we found another couple in the same situation and agreed to swap sitting services. Friday night was date night, and one week we’d feed our kids and put them to bed before one of our friends came over to sit on the couch while we went out – then the next week we’d swap (our friends would go out and either my husband or I would go to their place and mind their sleeping children). It was a fantastic arrangement and helped a lot with feeling normal!!!!
BUT… of course there might be stronger forces at work, so good on you for speaking to your GP. All the best xo
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While I haven’t spotted the weekly tea cup picture, I thought the tea drinking MM team might like to know that there is such a thing as earl grey tea flavoured lip balm. And I love it!
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The ripped photograph site reminds me ‘Dear Photograph’, a blog which takes a picture of the past in a picture in the present!
Confused? Just go look here: http://dearphotograph.com/
For example, the caption for this photograph was:
“Dear Photograph,
Remember when we decided to see if shrink wrap would hold my brother Joe to a tree? This made us laugh so much!”
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Having a poo of a time (can I even say that after just reading Ingrid’s post) my poor ego has been kicked to bits!
Job hunting grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr OMG I hate it! The lies and stories and false hope; pure torture for my little ego!
I am SICK to death of sitting on the shelf, so much so I am gathering a thick layer of dust and cobwebs…….. every single guy I meet turns pear shaped
so I keep trying to re-visit my past and contacting EX’s and I know better and that it is the worst thing to do as i’m getting nothing back from there and it makes me look like a desperate fool!
I have bouts of feeling so clucky, then career driven, then free spirited nomad OMG I am a scatter brain at the moment and I truly feel that if I meet a man it would centre me. I am feircely inderpendent but I feel I need my other half to pull me back down to earth.
I wish I knew left from right and up from down
rant over, feels good to blurt it out
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Won tickets to the family life forum, sad have no one to look after my kiddies. Oh well I am sure it would of been good!
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The spanx for men is really unattractive, I would be really put off knowing a guy was wearing one………..even though I own one and have on occasion squeeeeezed into it!
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To bikram or not to bikram?
I love, love, love how I feel after going to vinyasa yoga once or twice a week. I feel calm, centered and happy, and I really enjoy it, which is not something I say about exercise.
But I’m interested and intrigued by how good it makes some people feel, and hot people ‘glow’, and find all sorts of benefits from it. I also could do with a jolt to get me out of my winter funk, and kickstart a health kick.
There is an amazing starter price at a nearby studio for a 10 day pass. After that, I guess potentially I’d only want to do 1-2 classes a week, with my vinyasa-as it makes me feel so good.
Anyone have any ideas? Comments?
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Try it and see how you go, I have been a few times and reccomend the following points before your first class!
-> DO drink litres and litres and litres of water before you head in, the one day I didn’t I had a dehydration headache all night. NOT PLEASANT!
-> DON”T eat for two hours before, nausea will ensue.
-> DO lie down when you feel dizzy.
-> DON”T wear a big baggy t-shirt and long pants.. absolute minimum and there are all shapes and sizes in there so no worries.
I haven’t been for a while but always enjoy the challenge, and the hot person “glow” after is a winner.. when I did the 10 day pass at my local there was a noticable change in my fitness and tone. But that dehydration headache night has put me off for a while!
Good luck, let us know how you go xxx
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this sounds grim… but then again I don’t know what bikram yoga is. Can you enlighten me??
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It’ a form of hot yoga. A series of static poses, rather than flowing poses, done in a room of 37 degrees.
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One of the girls from our reading group goes to bikram – I’m interested as I LOVE having a good sweat. Not such a yoga fan though – although the intense nature might be good…
There’s an exclusively Bikram place opened recently here. Must check it out again.
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Ok, I need advice. I’ve been accepted into Macrob girls high – a selective school. One of my friends was going on about how he was sitting the test, and I eventually got annoyed after a few days. He said ‘I bet you couldn’t get in if you tried’. So I tried. And got in. What do I do?
I go to a middle of the range private girls school on a half scholarship. It has a great atmosphere and I have wonderful friends. It doesn’t really push me academically. Has anyone here been to Macrob or know what it’s like? Is it worth it? All my friends think I should go. One of my friends is kind of jealous, too.
Thanks!
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This factored into my choice of high school between North Sydney Girls and a good private school – how much effort do you WANT to put in? With my level of care factor, I chose to be among the top at the private school rather than middle to bottom at the selective school. Maybe I would have found extra motivation, who knows, but I think it all turned out for the best. I was happy with my UAI anyway.
You have friends at the private school, are there other opportunities available eg sports, drama, music that you value? Can you find extra ways to extend yourself or talk to the teachers of your favourite subjects to get some extension work? If you’re in year 9 or 10 things generally tend to get more interesting with more opportunity for extension in electives when you get to year 11, once it’s mostly people who are interested.
I don’t know what year you’re in but it can be difficult to fit in in year 9 or 10 when girls go through a bitchy stage. If you’re in year 10, consider the final formal or valedictory dinner may have more meaning if you are with your old friends?
Just a few thoughts that may help you to reach your decision, good luck!
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Hey Annie,
I went to MacRob from 2002- 2005 (after leaving a mid-level private school on a half scholarship!) and loved it. It’s one of those schools that you really can get a lot out of, if you want to put a lot in. I was heavily involved in the music and ‘house competition’ side of things, and got some amazing opportunities because of it. Obviously the academic side of things is what it is known for, and it can be strange to be in a class full of people who were similarly the top of their old schools, but it soon settles down.
It’s not for everyone though, there’s always a few people that leave and go back to their old schools, but I don’t think that’s unusual. I’d recommend going along to open days or events or something and getting a feel for the place – vibe can tell you a lot!
Hope that’s helpful, and congrats on getting in!
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As a graduate of a top performing girls selective school I would advise to stay where you are. You will be amongst kids who have been tutored to within an inch of their lives to get in. And the atmosphere was super competitive and not one where students had a balance in their lives. Not a lot of sport etc…just study. I think a balance is important.
Also you may feel better about being one of the brightest at your school rather than being very average at a selective school full of super bright and super tutored.
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Trying to deal with my breakup. Wondering if he is with someone while I am still hurting and lying in bed alone , wondering if he is falling asleep with someone in the bed we shared. That someone else will be getting his good morning and good night kisses instead of me. Someone will walk down the asile towards him instead of me , someone will have his child instead of me. God I must stop these thoughts.
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Oh dear. I’ve done that. It’s going to get better, I promise you. Give it time. It’s going to get better.
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oh findingella, you might feel lousy now, but it’ll get better and soon you’ll look back and smile at this stage, try to surround yourself with your closest friends, eat some icecream/chocolate/cake (whatever works!) and lean on loved ones for support and let them help take your mind off of the breakup.
All the best!
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You poor darling
I have been through that too, torture, but you do get through it. Focus on projects for yourself that give you a kick.. and look after yourself physically too.. I’m not quite sure how that phase ends but it truly does and now I have a lovely lovely boyfriend and was so much better prepared after a little bit of heartbreak x
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Oh I hear you Ella.
I have these feelings everyday. Except I know we are hurting an equal amount, I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.
Being without her is like losing a limb. She was my life for 6 years. My best friend. Being without her has been so hard but each day I get stronger and I wonder how I made it this far.
You will be ok, take care of yourself xxx
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OMM – I lay-byed two gorgeous dresses from French Connection the other day (delayed gratification and being financially responsible FTW) and they are both a size eight. At my lowest adult weight I have never been a size eight, and I’m a few kilos above that now… frustrating frustrating vanity sizing!
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I work for FC and their sizes are usually spot on so you must be a skinny mini more so than you think
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I’m curious! Yesterday there was a news item regarding the historic drop in household power consumption………it failed to mention however, if there had also been a drop in revenue for the power companies. I’m wondering what these stats are….
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/10039019/power-consumption-makes-historic-drop/
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Soooo… total FWP but anyway… one of my friends want to set me up with her friends brother. He sounds perfect, is apparently very good looking, has a good job, loves kids etc…. only problem is he’s 21. I’m almost 28. Help!!
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a nice fling for a while?
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In between big challenges at my new job (which I’m loving) I am trying to figure out the best way to prepare myself for leaving my husband…. financially, emotionally, familially (is that a word)… it is occupying most of my waking thoughts, and I find myself going round & round in circles… how do you leave a 20 year marriage? Any advice would be most welcome…
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Oh my goodness – that sounds tough. I haven’t been there, but my advice would be to find a good counselor and start going now.
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Money is all I can think about this week. And maternity leave. And what happens after. And if I will still qualify for my bonus because of a very nasty little clause and my going on maternity leave a month or so before I would get it.
I’m having a sit down with my HR woman next week to go through it all, but the problem is, I don’t trust her or any of the managers above her. I need to get it in writing that I’ll still qualify. Basically if I don’t, there’s no way I’ll be coming back to this company after the baby is born.
We’re also trying to figure out how many hours I can cut back at work and still be able to afford our mortgage and daycare, which is so bloody expensive and in the Netherlands you have to pay for an entire day, no matter how many hours your child is there. So, if you want five hours a day and the centre is open for twelve, you have to pay for twelve. Is this normal in Australia too? Just makes me mad.
I’m only fourteen weeks pregnant. I need to figure out a way to get on top of this stress before it makes me crazy. Why can’t I just be one of those people who just lives their lives instead of worrying about it?!
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OMM Going crazy wondering if I’m pregnant or not, 7 days late, cramping, bleeding gums, constipated what does it mean!! Really bad PMS or Pregnant? Will test on the weekend if still unconfirmed. Aaaaah!
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My gums bled badly during pregnancies…
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Interesting…
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Yep, my gums bled like crazy too. Also I get quite bad cramps- like period pain but they go on and on!
My GP calls it implanting pain. It’s how I knew I was pregnant with my second.
So don’t get pissed unless you know it’s definitely not The Real Thing!
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Haha thanks! I will definitely not be drinking until I have an answer.
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Why don’t you take a test now? Why wait?
There are heaps of tests that can tell you as early as the first day of the missed period and some that can tell you before – I got my positive result at least a week before I’d even missed the period.
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Yeah I know. I’m just trying to avoid dissappointment if I’m not. Silly hey?
Time will tell either way
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That almond brittle looks DEVINE!! I love that idea of the ripped photos with the captions, there is A LOT of potential there.
OMM: I need to go make dinner so I don’t eat to soon before netball. Any easy pasta sauces that would only take a couple of minutes? Otherwise I’m pulling out the canned stuff…which there is nothing wrong with, but it’s not quite the same as making it yourself, is it?
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Not “real’ problems, but I’m just a bot down about them this week.
1) Almost all my friends are pregnant or have babies of 1 or younger. I still love them dearly, and love their kids, and am interested in them (and do not want kids of my own at this point), but I feel like none of them are interested in me.
I know that in comparison, most of my problems are insignificant compared to what they are going through, but they aren’t to me. I’ll send a text, and a week later get a reply. Consistently. And because it’s not just 1 or 2 friends, it is honestly just about all of my friends, from a variety of areas-school, uni, work, etc etc, I just feel lonely. And neglected, and it is making me a bit bitter. And I can’t tell them how I feel….
2) I really struggle with making new friends. I’m good with people 1:1 if I’m getting to know them, just meeting them, but in group situations I shut down. So if I go to the movies with a friend, and meet up with some other people afterwards-I have nothing to say. So I seem ‘odd’ because I’m so quiet. I’m able to talk at work about work stuff, but in group social situations, unless I know them well…..
A bit lost.
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Feeling lost and lonely is not nice, I feel for you.
Can you really not tell your friends (even one of them) how you feel about it all? I have been in your position before and now I’m a mum with young kids. I’m not going to defend them ignoring you, but I now know how little kids and babies can suck the life out of you and drain time away. I am mentally and physically exhausted at the end of every day.
If any of your friends are like me though, they will gladly listen to you talk about your life and problems. There is nothing like hearing someone else’s woes to make you forget about your own life for a while.
I love nothing more than talking to friends about ANYTHING not related to children
Good luck x
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I fully understand why they don’t have time to hang out, and don’t get back to me straight away. And it’s possibly partly in my head-rather than how they feel. Me feeling like they won’t care about my problems.
I guess what I meant by I can’t talk to them about it, os that I can’t say -I feel neglected since you had a baby, we don’t hang out/chat often any more. And when we do, it’s mostly about you and the baby….
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I knew that was what you meant by not being able to talk to them… but you might be surprised… it might be a wake-up call to them?
I’m willing to bet they will care your problems… why don’t you try and arrange to catch up with for an evening coffee or glass of wine, when their kids are in bed? I don’t know your friends obviously, but the highlight of my week is when I leave the house at night without the kids to see a friend and just natter.
Sorry, I’m probably not helping, I just know how you feel though and it’s lousy.
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Thanks
Just having a low week. Hurry up spring! I might try to have a chat to one or two… Even though I feel like it’s me being silly.
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I am the same in group situations. Shut down. Fine 1:1 or with 2 other people. A group of 4 or more is hard. I just can’t get an in. Then I come across as unfriendly coz I don’t say anything. I have just learnt to accept it. Apparently it is normal for my Myers Briggs personality type – I’m an INFP. Now I am a lot more comfortable about it, it is just ME, its not that I am weird. When you stop stressing so much about it it does make it a lot easier. Good luck!
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Hope that Myers Briggs stuff doesn’t sound wanky – its just that I used to work with a lot of org. psychs.
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I relate to your 2nd problem! I am socially quite awkward unless I know the people I’m with really well. I’ve always really envied people who can strike up a conversation with just about anyone (like my husband who is great at it!) as I’ve never felt comfortable and I end up just staying quiet as I don’t know what to say.
Alot of times I feel like people must think I’m unfriendly, rude or just up myself because I just stay quiet and almost avoid having to talk to people.
Though I’ve come to accept that that is just the way I am and stopped beating myself up about it, so my point is you’re not alone!
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Thanks joey and Qwerty. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I ofen feel like I’m so boring/look snobby. And I guess I then stress bout it, which makes me more-so…
And then someone will comment on it-You’re quiet tonight, Would you stop talking, and then everyone looks at me.
I was ok with it, until I realised I need to make some new friends as all my others have babies. I want to, and I try to put myself out there, but just can’t freeze. I also seem to have a lot of extrovert friends, and they have other extrovert friends, which exaggerates the problem.
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had my first blatant sizest issue whilst shopping on the weekend. I am a size 10 on a good day, size 12 on a bad day ( I weigh 65 kilos and am just under 2 meters tall) . I was shopping and my friend pulled me into a designer clothes shop “just to see”.The assistant was a bit sniffy (suggesting I try a size 40) and then my friend asked for a size 36 (or 12). The assistant said: “oh we try and limit those sizes because Jo (the designer) doesn’t think they go with her look”. ouch!
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I hope you walked out and spent your money elsewhere?
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I love Charlotte and am enjoying ANTM, but all I can think of when I see her and Alex Perry is – What The Hell Have You Done To Your Face. Seriously Charlotte, you were beautiful before you had a facelift or whatever, now you and Alex would seriously scare small children.
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I think it’s all the fillers that are injected? I love Charlotte Dawson and I also think she’s beautiful without the surgery/Botox/fillers.
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So because I’m so over the moon, I’ll pounce upon any opportunity to get this out there. I’ve been basically in love with this guy from work for about 9 months (sad, maybe). Finally on Saturday, we ‘get together’ so to speak and then, after enduring the snide comments and jokes from workmates, which I thought would turn him off, I got a text arranging for a date tomorrow. This unfortunately has been rescheduled due to his unscheduled trip on the Flutrain but seriously, for the last 4 days, I’ve been smiling like a maniac.
Question though – for anyone who has dated someone from work and then broken up, was it ok or unbearably awkward? The two of us have been really great friends for the last year or so, so I’m hoping that if it does happen while we’re both working there it won’t be unpleasant. Just curious
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my sister has spent the last two years on chemo and radium for her brain tumours, now her 15 year old son is having migraines and blacked out at school on Monday. doctors are ordering a CT scan. hopefully it’s nothing.
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Good luck. Glad they’re getting a CT done now.
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Sending luck and strength their way
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My bestie is dying. We just found out. She only has weeks and she has two tiny children. I don’t know how to cope.
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So sorry to hear that
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Oh no! That’s such sad news, I’m so sorry for you and her little ones. Sending you much love xo
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Oh lordy…so sad. Big hugs to you. It’s categorically ok not to ‘cope’ in these situations. xxxxx
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I’m so sorry you and your friend have to go through this. My heart goes out to you and her children, and to her. xoxoxo
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There are no words. xxxx
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Sending you love and cupcakes. Take care xoxox
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Oh my goodness. So sorry to hear that. Life can be so unfair. Hugs. You don’t have to cope. Just try to hang in there. Maybe think about seeing a counsellor – that is what I did when a close friend of mine was dying. It can help a bit to have someone outside your family and friends to help you through it too.
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oh god, how unbelievably sad. Sending love xx
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Just got back from a last minute 3 night getaway with the fam at Noosa. I’m so glad to be home. Our 6, 4 and 2 year old all came down with a virus. We had fevers and went through 2 bottles of nurofen. Then my dust mite allergy went into overdrive as I’m guessing the linen and rugs haven’t had a nice hot clean in a while! I normally love our noosa getaways .
Nevermind, my burnt caramel gelato’s each evening were almost making the whole thing worthwhile.
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Mmm, Massimo’s by any chance? Divine.
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Does anyone know any good places to get edible cupcake decorations for my friend’s baby shower?
I’ve looked online at Coles and Woolies but they only have butterflies and roses etc – I want like pink and blue baby bottles and other cute stuff!
Any good websites people have used and got delivered quickly??
Also I’ve never piped before… any hints?
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eBay has lots of this type of stuff roserusso – I’ve never ordered any mind you, but I have definitely seen cake toppers on there.
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http://www.theraspberrybutterfly.com.au/store/pc/home.asp
this place has gorgeous things and have delivered quickly to me before
What city are you in?
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Rose, google cupcake decorations. You will find lots and maybe even a store near you so you can pick out what you like. As for piping – practice first. It doesn’t take long to get it right, but practice on the bench or whatever first. Squeeze and drag is my fave around the bottom of cakes, but depends what effect you are after. You tube usually has tutorials on everything too, so check there as well.
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Which state are you in?
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I’m in Sydney. Are you going to bake my cupcakes for me?
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Rose- if you can’t get anything buy Allens jellybeans and a pink and blue icing pen.Using the pink and blue beans only press them into the icing and then pipe 4 small dots and one slightly larger to represent toes.
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You could try http://www.littlebetsybaker.com.au they have super cute things.
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Thanks everyone for your help! I found a local cake shop and the edible decorations in blue and pink – picking them up tomorrow
The Raspberry Butterfly had beautiful stuff though – definitely buying there next time!!
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Congratulations on winning the American Express comp Elle!!
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OMM: Mopping. Seriously. Sad isn’t it. I don’t do it often enough – I bought a new mop this morning and Miss Shadow (3) asked, “what is this thing mummy?” I obviously don’t mop enough…
Also OMM: Black pipecleaners – can’t find any and need them to make antennae for my daughter’s ladybird costume. May have to buy silver ones (they are the most popular colour in town it would seem) and colour them in with a permanent marker.
So as you can see, a very cerebral Wednesday afternoon!!
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try the 2 dollar shops – they often have things that you might not see elsewhere.
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I did a feet detox patch last night, my mum has them and gave me a few to try. So you put this white detox patch on the sole of your feet just before you jump into bed and take it off in the morning and it’s supposed to remove impurities from your system overnight.
Anyway, this morning I took it off. I had a shower before I used it so I knew my feet were clean. The detox pad was BLACK and stank. HAHA. Me got a massive detox over night. And guess what. I woke up at 6am and was ready to get out of bed FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER THIS YEAR. I am sold!
And I feel good this morning. Me doing it again tonight! Apparently over time the pad is supposed to get less black because you have less toxins in your system. Man, mine stank this morning haha
Everyone will have a different opinion but I believed it worked in my case
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Sounds interesting. What are they called? Where do you get them?
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I’ll second that question – they sound really interesting.
Looking forward to your response Guest from Perth.
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Ok, so mum got a trial pack as part of a promotional flyer in the mail. Call 1800 755 388 and ask for the Detox Foot Patch. You can get 1 x box of 10 patches and 1 x box free for $70.00 so that will last you 10 days. I’m going to do that but also google and see if there is perhaps some other cheaper but still as effective other detox foot patches out there in the market.
Hope that helps.
Good Luck!
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Hi deahammer
I have asked my mum about about the brand and where she orders it from. I will get back to you on this post when I hear back from her.
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Sorry Jo, that response was for yourself as well.
Stay tuned and check back here!
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How good is a mint slice biscuit dunked in a latte?
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My hubby left me a scribbled note on the kitchen bench saying, “We need to seriously talk – work want us to move to the U.S. ??? Love you”
While nothing is defnite yet, the past 4 days have had me constantly thinking about what it might be like to pack up everything EVERYTHING and take ourselves to the States – me, hubby and two young children.
The thought terrifies and excites me at the same time…
What would you do???
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You and Fi need to talk….
I would go in a heartbeat…
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Go!! You will have an awesome time. I speak from my own experience as well as friends. We all found it such a wonderful time of drawing closer as a family – you have to when there’s no-one else! Don’t worry about all the details. It will be the best experience of your life!
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Go! I’m an adventurous little traveller though. Better to do it when the kids are younger than older though. School equivalencies become more of a hassle the older they are.
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Do it!
The best times in my life have been when I’ve done something brave like move state or country and done something out of my comfort zone. In fact, I need to it again soon, this time I have a family like you, but I know it will be a great experience for everyone.
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If moving around is a requirement for your husbands career advancement I’d do it before your kids are in primary school or are old enough to protest and make you feel guilty!
I have a friend who did exactly the same thing a few years ago. She was very unhappy about it and angry with her husband for uprooting them. Fast forward 3 years, she loves living in the US and never wants to return.
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Do it! We relocated 5 years ago and I’ve never regretted it. My girls don’t know any different (the eldest was 17 months when we moved) and everything is normal to them. We have all met new friends and they are good friends too.
We are talking about relocating next year but we don’t want to go home yet. We want the adventure to keep going.
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I’d love to know what websites people check on a daily basis. I know there’s heaps of good stuff out there and I’d love to know how to find it! I just discovered Woogsworld.com which is AWESOME, but I’d love to find more good quality stuff.
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I read Woogsworld and Edenland every day.
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There are heaps of really great, well written blogs out there if that’s the sort of thing you are after? I read lots of mummy blogs because I am a mummy myself and I relate to them! But I also read a few food blogs, style blogs and news blogs. Some of the blogs worth checking out are: Edenland, CRAP mamma, 4 kids 20 suitcases and a beagle, BabyMac, $120 Food Challenge, Fat Mum Slim, Styling You, Life and Other Crises. The list goes on and on and on! I found lots of good blogs by reading the list of blogs that these bloggers follow which is listed at the side of their web page. And whenever I read something I really like by an author on Mamamia who I haven’t heard of before, I do a search on Google to see if they have a blog or a website that I can visit regularly. Sometimes there is also a link to their blog/website in the article on Mamamia.
Anyway, I hope this helps as a starting point! Reading blogs is lots of fun!
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Oh blogs! One of my favourite topics
I love Sea of Shoes, Cup of Jo, Cupcakes and Cashmere, dooce.com, Girls Gone Child, the Wednesday Chef, Lottie and Doof.
I really could go on forever…
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retromummy, STFU parents, the meanest mom, the pink whisk, fat mum slim,
I love woogsworld and edenland too.
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‘Enjoying the small things’ is great
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Well I’ve just got back from the Early Childhood nurse and Katharine has put on 400g in 2 weeks! Hooray!!!
I know quite a lot of people have done the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation – do you recommend it??
I’m seriously thinking about doing it – I’ve emailed them a couple of times and they’ve been really helpful with my questions about what you do and the fact that I’m exclusively breastfeeding. I’m working on getting to be able to leave Katharine either with Mum or at Occasional Care or creche at the gym (can’t at the moment cause she won’t take a bottle for feeds). They reckon I could do the outdoor exercises as my program.
I’m 173 and about 85kg – I think I’d like it. But I am worried about spending so much money and being slack. I get the feeling that slacking off would be a bit hard, even online?
Thoughts??
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Hi Kris, my bub is now 9 months & when she was about 3 months I started Weight Watchers while I was exclusively breastfeeding & I can vouch for that. I lost 14kgs on their program and am thinner & fitter I’ve ever been. I found it good cause it could take my baby with me. Also having to weigh in every week is good motivation to not be slack. Just a thought :O)
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I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist and I don’t know this diet in particular but I have seen the effects of some others and the key seems to be what happens after the 12 weeks are finished. The ones that work are the ones that are invested in giving you information so that you are able to incorporate the food plan into your life in a more long term way. The ones I’ve seen fail spectacularly are the ones that prescribe every meal and food combination for 12 weeks but don’t give you any information for after that time.
Good luck – it’s a bit step to take.
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Hi Kris,
I’ve done 2 rounds and can’t recommend it enough – it was fantastic!
You really do have to be on board with the whole thing though, doing only part (exercise or the healthy eating) and you need to commit to tuning in each week to the online forums, etc to keep you motivated.
The first round I lost 4kg and got down to 58kg (168cm) which I haven’t been since I was married. Second round I was a little less motivated (don’t think Winter has helped!) and I’m just under 60kg but have stayed there more or less for the past 3 months, and am feeling happy with that.
You definitely need to do the pre-season stuff – don’t just sign up the night before. You need to be organised.
Mish is awesome. Good luck if you decide to go ahead!
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Yeah I really like her, C2theP.
Mel – you get menu plans each week and there is room to substitute and add for higher calorie needs (ie for breastfeeding). I figure if you stick with it for 12 weeks you’re into the lifestyle and will keep going?
I like online so think that’d be good for me, and with a breastfeeding no bottle taking bub, I’d rather have the obligation to do stuff but be able to do it around her needs, IYKWIM.
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I see lots of people doing the 12 weeks challenge judging by the facebook updates. Seems to transform so many people’s lives (according to the article in Women’s Weekly). I would also love to know how people are finding it and what it’s all about!
It’s so cold and the weather unpredictable at the moment it’s hard to get motivated to get out!
Good work Katharine on your 400g weight gain. I’m going to MCHN tmrw too! It seriously could have been me writing your update Kris2040!
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She’s not super underweight, but she was a little bit less than what they would have really liked to have seen. I thought she’d been On the Fang a bit lately!
I don’t mind getting out, I only have the car on weekends as Mum drives to work in Sydney, so we public transport everywhere. I just don’t like “going for a walk”, but if I have been told to walk for 5 km and time it or something, and have somewhere to record it, and compete/compare with others, I think it’ll be good.
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If she about 3-4 months, your supply can drop off as the hormones that initially support breastfeeding fade. So bub will demand a lot more to get the supply up.
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Hi Kris, I haven’t done the 12 week challenge but I cooked recipes out of her cookbook for a couple of months and followed her calorie recommendation thingy (very easy) and I lost 9 kilos in about 7 weeks (the remainder of my ‘baby weight’. Her recipes are delicious too.
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Oh, also, my sister lived off her recipes for 12 months and lost 30kg…
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Wow, that’s awesome! Going by the facebook stuff and the Women’s Weekly article, as well as remembering people posting on here, the program is quite the cult with Mish Bridges at the head of it.
It just seems like something that would be good for me at the moment with little Missy – it’s easy to take her out walking. One of the emails said this:
You’ll probably enjoy the ‘outdoor’ option for the training the most – that way you can bring bub along with you and entertain her at the same time! She’ll grow up thinking it’s normal to stop every now and then and do some push-ups on the back on a park bench!!
Which I agree with – I really think it’s important for kids to see parents doing sport and exercise and see it as a normal thing.
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Definitely! My girls, aged 4 and 2 are always telling me as they are jumping around like numbats ‘we are just doing our excerise mum’!
BTW, before I cooked Michelle Bridges’ recipes I had no idea about calories and no interest – thought it was too hard and boring. But it’s really simple and once you know it, you can’t un-know it so it’s always part of your thinking when it comes to shopping and cooking. Not in an obsessive way, just a practical way
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Have a look at the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet. I lost 27kgs following it last year, and have kept the weight off for six months now. It is easy to follow, sensible eating, and you are not deprived of any food group – that’s what makes it easy to follow. The books are available in all good book stores, and sometimes you can pick them up in Big W. There are heaps of delicious recipies, and if you are breastfeeding, you could start at level 2 or 3 of the plan to ensure you are getting enough nutrition for both of you. You could, now the weather is warming up, walk with your bub. Anyway, just a thought – it worked for me!
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I did that a few years ago, I couldn’t handle all the meat! I did lose weight though, but god it was a lot of meat. As you would expect being sponsored by MLA.
I think it would be a bit of a hassle doing it (still have the books) living with Mum too, as she’s vego! I remember how much I was spending on meat last time I did it!
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Just be aware that you need to drop the calories when you start to wean, but on the other hand, if you notice your supply dropping too much as you lose weight, slow down as you don’t breastfeed for long. It’s a big of a balancing act. Good luck!
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They did mention about being able to play with the calories and activity in the emails I got. I don’t think I’ve had any trouble with supply as yet – it always squirts out when I squeeze! LOL
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Hi Kris
The beauty of our program is it is individualised and specific to your needs – and of course all done online. If you get a chance feel free to check out our program at http://www.doyoueat.com.au
I am a dietitian and offer an online 3 month weight loss program – we are seeing some fantastic results. As a mum with 2 young children I know just how hard it is to make changes when you have littlies
Best of luck
Kate x
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HELP – suggestions wanted …..Being quite new to the mamamia website, I have sat back and read the articles and comments over the last few weeks. But I decided with the “open post” I had to pose a question ? What do you do if your husband (and father to my 2 children) doesn’t want to be in Australia any more ? He has been here almost 12 years (from UK) and in this time we have moved so many times because of his job. My family are in Sydney (which was 3 cities ago) and I miss them terribly, so it is not like I have any family support either. He is soooo miserable, purposely not making any friends with the most recent move (we have been here 8 months now) and venting his frustrations on me (verbally) ! Has anyone been in a similar situation and what did you do ? Note: I really don’t want to move to the UK
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I can’t think of any solution that is going to make anyone happy…I really feel for you!
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Yeah that’s tough, try and negotiate I guess. How old are your children?
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This is a tricky one, I am from the UK my husband is Australian, I am from a big family all of whom live within 10km of each other in England, I go through stages of desperately wanting to move back home, of being miserable and wishing I wasn’t so far away.
BUT I really am happy, I have accepted that my life is here in Australia now, we have 5 children, who are all settled, my husband has a great job and we are financially secure. I make the best of my life here (while saving frantically for a trip home).
So not really any advice to offer just my own story, prehaps you could look into the feasibility of moving back to the UK, like a pros and cons chart ?
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Depending on the ages of your kids I think its really important to settle somewhere for them, especially if they’re at school. If he’s really desperate to go to the UK (and I understand why you dont) maybe, since he’s been here unhappily for 12 years, you could agree to a 3-5 year stay there? I know thats a long time but some sort of compromise sounds like the only solution here if you want your marriage to work. Good luck.
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What do you think is the real source of the problem – is it the constant moving around Australia/resettling, being in Australia itself, nostalgia/grass is greener, loneliness for familiar faces/places, job satisfaction….?
Nothing has to be forever — maybe you could negotiate going back for a couple of years – (some people fit in with your kids education milestones e.g. coming to/from for highschool)
Maybe he could go back for a holiday to England to see if it’s really for him again? This is what one of my friends offered for her partner to do and he realised it wasn’t for him long term.
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Hi, not sure whether its any help but if it is the UK generally that’s putting you off, perhaps you could try the Channel Islands? I am an Aussie living in Jersey and been here for some time now. Obviously, it is still a long way from your family and that can be very hard, but I am put off by the UK as well, and yet Jersey suits me – it is smaller and friendlier and has a bit more of an ‘Aussie’ lifestyle than UK. And perhaps close enough to the UK to keep your husband happy? (40 min flight)
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I’m reading Jaycee Dugard’s memoir right now and it is just so sad. I’m not sure why I’m reading it since I have a 13-year-old sister who I worry about a lot. I am a worry wart, always will be.
I have found that while reading it – it is just so terrible that it feels like I’m reading fiction. I desperately want to finish it so I will keep going.
Has anyone else had trouble reading a book like this?
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Would love to read it but I just can’t. *sticks head in the sand*
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Received a bill in the mail yesterday for my emergency ambulance trip to hospital 3 weeks ago. $803 !!
I like to think my life skills are fairly high but had no idea a) this wasn’t covered by medicare and b) it would be $803
Luckily we have extras cover which includes ambulance.
Think about getting some cover, you don’t want to have to worry if you can afford to call an ambulance in an emergency.
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I had a similar experience when I had my appendix out. It cost me $400 just for the ambulance ride. I was 19 so I didn’t have private health insurance. You just think it’s covered in Medicare but it’s not. I have no idea why not.
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My little brother learnt a valuable lesson about this a couple years ago. He passed out in the bathroom of a pub (he’d only had one beer and was actually sick) and his workmates called the ambulance. He didn’t have private health cover or ambulance cover. $1500 later.
He now has ambulance cover.
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In Queensland we used to pay a levy on our electricity bill to cover ambulance so if we had to use it we didn’t have to pay. They recently removed the ambulance levy so not sure what happens now, maybe the gov’t picks up the costs as it was meant to be a cost saving for electricity consumers. I am covered anyway as I have private health cover.
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oh, snap!
see my link for more details, gijo101
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In Qld we now have completely free ambulance cover. We used to pay a levy included in our electricty bill, but that has now been removed too. I guess we’re very lucky, hearing stories like yours!
http://www.originenergy.com.au/2714/Community-Ambulance-Cover-Levy
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Ambulance cover is quite cheap and well worth it! It varies from state to state. In Victoria it’s only $75 a year for a family. Everyone should ensure they are either covered through private health insurance or get ambulance cover.
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Its now only 37.50 for single in VIC the government has recently halved the cost. I just got my reminder for renewal and am going to change to the family option as I will be getting married very soon and FH is not covered at all
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I had a friend in a car accident and needed the chopper. Thousands of thousands of dollars.
But it is also covered in the ambulance cover.
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My uncle recently had to get the Flying Doctor to Alice Springs when he broke his leg badly escaping a mad steer. My mind boggles as to how much that would have cost him if he wasn’t covered.
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Yves, this was supposed to reply to your question.
Harsh, but fair. I have been accused of being tough on my kids. But it shows. My kids are pretty well behaved. They can be sh!ts at times, but they can also be beautiful people. I think it’s all about boundaries and consequences, rights and responsibilities. My kids know where the boundaries are, and what the consequences are if they cross those boundaries. You are teaching your kids (ok, adults) to be responsible for their behaviour and actions. It will flow through to other things in their life. I bet you have pretty good kids too?
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Thanks becauseimthemum, I thing they are good kids, and (and maybe this is my own snobbery/justification bias) I’ve often found that their friends who have it ‘so much easier than us mum’ tend to be the more irresponsible
but its nice to check things out in a public forum (thanks mamamia!)
http://yveblogs.wordpress.com
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Well, since you are asking…I am really upset that people do not allow other drivers to merge when an Emergency Vehicle is trying to get thru traffic….and most concerned that people speed up to get through the traffic lights in a School Zone, Kids walk out on the Orange without checking for cars, they are just watching the lights, ready to bolt!….thanks, I feel better….now Im going to write to the RTA about a few things.
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And people who just stroll out onto pedestrian corssings without checking the traffic first. Yes, you have right of way but when you just step out onto the road that car might not be able to stop in time and you will be run over!
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And people (by which I mean girls under 20) who don’t look up from their mobile phones when they hear the ‘cross’ signal at pedestrian lights.
And pedestrians who think that repeated banging on the pedestrian crossing button actually influences the traffic flow…
And people who do u-turns at traffic lights where there is no ‘u-turn permitted’ sign – usually because the intersection has a pedestrian crossing/island.
Arrgg!! Rant!! But I too feel better…
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And people who let their little kids fly down footpaths and across driveways on scooters leaving no time for a car to stop…..I’m nervous every time I leave my driveway because the kids up the road are always tearing up and down the footpath crossing our driveway. They’re so fast the coast is clear one second, child there the next..
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You know, I think we could go on for ages….;)
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Dreary Wednesday as I arrive home in Melbourne from work trip to Perth, to find house looking pretty worse for wear.
As a mother to two teens (18 and 20) I am constantly being told that my standards for cleanliness are either too harsh or too lenient. In communal areas I fine children $20 cleaning fee if they leave a mess which their father or I have to clean (this is usually plates not in dishwasher, food on bench etc) They can do what they like with their rooms until THursday when they *must* be clean so the floors can be vacuumed and surfaces wiped. (Another $20 fine if this is not done, plus they have to vacuum and wipe surfaces themselves)
After a $80 week from one party I got told I was just too harsh… is it too much? Or am I fair in upholding these guidelines?
http://yveblogs.wordpress.com
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I’ve never heard of fines for not cleaning up at home! But I like it! After all, your ‘kids’ are adults now and should be pulling their weight at home.
I’m guessing some people might think you are being harsh, but hey, life is harsh sometimes isn’t it? Things won’t get easier for your kids when they move out of home will they?
As a teenager (younger than your kids), I had to do my own laundry and all the cleaning of my room and the kids bathroom, plus share the cleaning of communal areas in the house.
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I don’t think it’s too harsh – if they don’t like it they’re old enough to move out.
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I like the fine idea. I don’t think it’s too harsh for their ages. I may consider it myself.
It’s teaching them that if you don’t do it yourself you’ll have to pay someone to do it for you. Which is what would happen if they move out – do it themselves or pay to have it done.
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18 & 20? Aren’t they legally adults? I wouldn’t be fining them, I’d be charging them rent!
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Thanks for your responses, just the reality check I needed!
Maybe I should add that we have agreed to let them live rent free at home until they complete full time study* (my son is still in school, and my daughter works on non uni days, but realistically given her course doesn’t have enough time to work enough to support herself out of home)
*so long as they contribute to the household
http://yveblogs.wordpress.com
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I feel your pain. Have just spent an hour writing a long letter to my 20-year old uni student son, asking him to pull his weight at home i.e. do his few chores without me having to nag him, or to move out (but how will he pay for it?).
His room is a skip, and when the cleaners come, they just dump everything into the laundry basket, clean or not (and much of it is clean, just not put away). Aargh! When I sit him down and discuss with him, he’s contrite and apologetic, and within a few days we are back to square one again. And my 18-year old is taking notes… Sigh.
So I think fining is a good idea. How do you get them to hand the money over?
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They’re pretty good about it generally, we found that instead of engaging in an argument about what was/wasn’t done/who did what we just ask for the $20, a few times we’ve threatened interest if we dont receive it, or asked for it before we let them sit down to dinner which seems to work well
http://yveblogs.wordpress.com
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not harsh at all!!
if they were living anywhere else they would have to pull their weight in cleaning as their land lord will be doing inspections. and land lords don’t love you the way your parents do.
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I’ve recently had my first baby. A boy, his name is Aston. In my eyes I cannot fault him, alert, healthy I think the world of him and in my mind I imagine a perfect and happy life for him. He’ll be popular at school with lots of friends and A+student, all things I’m sure as parents we hope our children to be – happy and never depressed.
My mum however quickly ruined this image for me last night when she shared a horrible scenario her friends son is going through at the moment. Her (mums friend) son is still in primary school, he comes from a close knit family where they openly discuss many things as a family and confide in each other if something is wrong. Something was very wrong yesterday and she received a call from her son saying he needed her help. This young boy had been bullied and bashed and a “chunk” of skin had been taken from his face by these ruthless bullies. The most painful part of this story is that this young boy said to his mum “I can’t do this anymore mum – I GIVE UP”.
My initial reaction to this story was complete silence, I showed no empathy or sympathy and simply said “ok” and carried on with what I was doing trying to ignore my mother. At first I was angry at her for telling me this story, in my head I was thinking “is she trying to instill fear in me that this will happen to my son – how dare she tell a first time mum this horrible story!!” but upon reflecting on this scenario I realised that there is a horrible experience I have repressed deep inside me and the experience this boy has endured at such a young age sprung it right out of me.
I went to an all girls catholic school and towards the end of high school I was bullied and was verbally abused by my so called “girlfriends”. At the time my parents also divorced and I endured my mother go into a deep depression. I received no counselling during this time (and still haven’t’ received counselling) and felt I had no-one to confide in. I developed an eating disorder and feel into a deep depression which eventually led to me not completing my HSC (I only had one term left to complete).
At the time I saw no end to this sad period in my life and felt that this was going to be the way I was going to experience life, alone and depressed with no safety net around me no love. Life got better, the depression ended and I have found happiness through my studies, my work, friends and now my future husband and beautiful son.
I hope bullying is something my son will never endure and I’m sure as parents we hope the same for our children. However, I realise that I may need to begin a journey on reflecting that period of time through counselling and find some closure as the thoughts still paralyse me when I begin to think about them. Going through this journey and finding some closure may help me be a better parent in the future in the event that my son may experience some form of bullying. I can be someone he draws strength from and not fall into a deep depression as I once did.
Well thank you for letting me share what was on my mind. I would love to hear other peoples view on this matter and what to do. I have a long journey to go but I guess it can begin here….
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Can any teachers out there explain to me how kids are given enough space to be able to bully other kids…that’s what I never understand…
When I was in 1st class, a friend of mine was being bullied by one of the older kids…I think year 5…there were teachers around, but none of them stepped in to stop the bullying…so I punched the older kid in the face…only then did the teacher come over…AND I GOT IN TROUBLE!!
So, we all know bullying takes place in schools…it was happening in 1971…it still happens…so, teachers, what are you doing about…you’ve got eyes and ears…how does bullying take place under your supervision?
I really want to know…
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JJ, I’m not a teacher (yet!) but both my parents are and what I gather is that at times it’s very difficult to have eyes and ears on ALL kids at ALL times. I guess if you are on playground duty you may have about 50 kids to supervise at once, and could miss what’s going on until it gets physical.
Also, I think many teachers are worried about liability. Many are too scared to step in and physically pull students off each other for fear of parents/kids accusing them of inappropriate touching. My mum (primary school teacher) stopped a student in year 5 from bullying another student and was then called an f***ing c***, pushed and spat on.
I don’t have the answer about how to stop it, it’s a really difficult issue and terrible what kids that are being bullied go through.
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The short answer is that there are not enough of us on yard duty at any one point in time to effectively supervise EVERY SINGLE student. From what I understand, the legal requirements for yard duty are something ridiculous like one teacher per one hundred students or something. So… it’s difficult.
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Yeah, I thought that might be the issue…sad really…I wish we could spend more money on making sure kids are protected from bullying at school…
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I am a teacher and can assure you we (well…most of us) do everything we can to stop any bullying…it’s just SO HARD! We cannot possibly hear every conversation or see every little action obviously. We try very hard to educate our kids about what is OK and what is not and try to build the You Can Do It values (resilience, confidence, persistance, getting along and organisation). We have class meetings, circle time, confidential time, opportunities to speak with teachers, general and specific discussions about what can be done about bullying…I do think I’ve seen an improvement over the years.
A BIG problem we do see is families who don’t have a good understanding of what bullying is and how it is different to teasing (not that I’m saying anyone here is guilty of this misconception!). Bullying is ongoing, malicious and happens again and again as opposed to teasing which is a one off occurance. Boy, it’s tricky stuff. I wish we had more time and money to devote too!
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Yep….again, looks like we need more resources…
I raised this question because it seems to me that nothing has changed over the past 40 years…is it time to look into how students are supervised outside of class-time?
But then, how do you stop cyber-bullying and bullying to and from school…
(FYI – I was never bullied…but I still get really upset when I see kids being bullied)
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Ah yes but teasing when ongoing is also a form of bullying!
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Absolutely! Ongoing is the key word!
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My Mum is a primary school teacher.
I was horribly bullied all through primary school.
My mum often taught at my school (I wasn’t bullied about that, the kids loved her). Her and my teachers, who were all lovely and excellent teachers, were very aware of what was going on, it made my mum miserable, but noone was able to stop it. At one point I was sent to my Grandparents for a few weeks as I was close to having a breakdown (I realise this on hindsight). My mum also considered taking me out of school and home schooling me.
All I can say is my school years (high school and primary), were the worst years of my life.
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sometimes teachers just don’t care though… As what happened with my younger brother. He was horribly bullied, and my mom brought it up with the teachers, but they just didn’t care. He was Ashmatic and was hospitalized and the teachers used this to pick on him. My parents moved him and he was fine- socialized with other kids, became much happier. His academic confidence has never recovered though. I’m usually quite a forgiving person, but I will never forgive the adults who gave child bullies the right to torture my brother.
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I’ve found in my time in psych that there is nothing we can do to guarantee the behaviour of schools. While some have better cultures than others, generally if there’s certain personalities in the year level, they will find a way to bully no matter what the school does.
What you can control is your own kid’s response. Keep communication about what goes on at school and how it makes them feel, theres a fabulous book called ‘the mouse, the monster and me’ about different ways we respond to bad behaviour. If it gets really bad I would suggest taking your child to a professional to get some strategies, seems unfair but it will help.
http://yveblogs.wordpress.com
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Applied Kinesiology — does it work?
I’m seeing someone who does this and I think i’m convinced.
Has anyone else had experiences with it?
Thanks!
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It’s quackery, like all chiropractic methods…don’t do it…
(Awaits an avalanche of “it worked for me”)
Seriously…there is no scientific evidence that it works…none!
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How are ‘chiropractic methods’ kinesiology? I never knew you had to study a chiropractic degree to become a kinesiologist?
I’m suprised you think you will receive an avalanche of “it worked for me” and not “you’re a closed minded sort, aren’t you” hahahah (of course that is the dinner party version of my response). Actually my brother is a chiropractor and if there was no science in it and no effective outcomes (and we don’t need the AMA to assert what is an effective outcome), then I guess he wouldn’t be doing as amazingly well as he is, and contributing positively to thousands of peoples lives. See I think life is about your contribution (not how big your qualification dick is, particularly for insecure people), if you are qualified, dedicated and believe in your therapy then why can it not co-exist harmoniously with all these other “scientific” methods. And um just for the record, how many people have doctors killed, maimed and damaged across the scope of medical practise as opposed to chiropractors? One look at the comparison between their insurance levels and I think that question can be answered!
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MM team, please don’t delete this Anonymous comment…I know it breaks MM commenting guidelines, but I want people to judge my own comment against this one…
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How dare you comment with facts and good humour when clearly you should be relying on ad hominem attacks and exaggeration.
Won’t someone think of the children!
(this has no relevance but it ALWAYS works in an argument)
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…you left out “un-Australian”
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Wow, defensive much??
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Ummm…no…I was supporting your right to a different opinion from mine…
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I meant the other anonymous having a go at you, not you! (check the comment line)
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Different Anonymous, actually I am Bejazzled and I wrote the first comments, only as I was trying to type in my name somehow I muffed it and it sent. I’m techno challenged. I don’t see however how my comments break the rules? I didn’t mean any offense my comments were tongue in cheek about “dinner party responses” and so forth. Also it could really offend people to say chiro is quackery and generally people with vested medical interests hold those views and I don’t know why because I fully believe each field can exist harmoniously and complement each other. And there is plenty of qualified doctors who feel the same way. They practise both sides of the coin. Happy days JJ.
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LOL – I wish people would at least use avatars if they want to be anonymous
Sorry about that!
(…Bejazzled…just saw your second note…so cool about the Anon this time
)
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Hi Anon, we’ll have to agree to disagree, however just remember it is a blog and its hard to interpret what people write at times and also it doesn’t matter if the question/answers aren’t directed at me, this is a blog. My comments may come across as “jumping” down someone’s throat, IF you wish to react to them that way. It is your projection that I am being defensive and I can’t control what you think, only me. My brother is a chiro, and I stand up for the therapy of chiro because I love and support my brother and it works, if it didn’t it wouldn’t continue to be in demand.I haven’t tried Applied K, but I’ve had plenty of chiro, I’ve had network chiro and I’ve loved it, it works and in my opinion it is not quakery. And hey, I don’t need scientists to tell me what is and is not……I’ve got meditation for that (oh don’t cringe please lol, really lol I’m being lighthearted). (I just don’t know how to put those yellow smiley faces on). Happy days Anon
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In your dreams anonymous, I feel very secure in my values & beliefs. Sorry to disappoint! hehe
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…just like me!
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Sorry to disappoint? Being defensive doesn’t have anything to do with being insecure…you just jumped down John James’ throat when the comment wasn’t even directed at you. You’re defensive.
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yeah my guy is a chiro as well as kinesiologist. he’s also does acupuncture, homeotherapy… surely to think body, mind and spirit being all connected isn’t that far-fetched?!
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Why ‘don’t do it’?
Millions of people all over the world have had great success with alternative therapies. You never now if something will improve your quality of life until you try it.
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hmmm… even i find it hard to be completely convinced, but it seems to be bringing up some interesting and important issues for me. oh who knows. part of me thinks that it just hasn’t been proven “yet” because there’s maybe not enough research into these types of therapies. but i’m not sure how much research has actually been done on it. i know, anecdotally, it has worked for a lot of people.
just out of interest, do you believe in “energy” and how do you explain that when you think of cutting into a lemon and squeezing it in your mouth, your mouth starts watering? the memory of what that’s like will actually manifest physically.
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em… if you are interested in something and it’s not going to do you any harm, why not give it a go?
People miss out on a lot in life by not giving things a go. And I’m not just talking about health therapies.
Not everything in life has to have scientifically based evidence of it working (or not) for some people to gain something positive from an experience.
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thank you and you’re right…
what a polarising issue it is!
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John James, I think you’ll be interested in this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGuXCuDb1U
Gotta love Tim Minchin
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Yep… expresses everything I believe in, only better…
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haha, i like the poem/clip.
a lot of people who don’t believe in natural therapies or “other-wordly” things, i think, can sometimes get offended that those who are open-minded to it, just don’t accept life for what it is. i think that’s a huge misconception. the way i see it, the ones open to it, show their respect for life and all it’s possibilities. we’re not trying to make life something that it isn’t… we are just always questioning endless fascinating possibilities. what is wrong with that. that is how “science” came about. someone questioning something. spirituality, or whatever you want to call it, energy or mind therapy – doesn’t try to avoid life’s daily knocks or make excuses for them. it does the opposite… helps you become aware of things you may not have at the forefront of your mind because of how busy and unnecessarily complex our lives are nowadays. it encourages you tobe aware of what has gone on in your lifetime and those things that may have affected you and why. it’s a way of understanding who you are and that life is “beautiful and complex” as Tim Linchin says. i think anyone with an inquisitive mind should be proud of themselves. not told they’re silly because what they’re exploring hasn’t yet been “proven”.
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Oh bravo em, brilliantly said!
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Hi JJ
If there are some people who do say ‘it worked for me’… then surely, it does work – for some, doesn’t it?
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Oh Touché!! I can’t fight against that logic!
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Woo hoo!
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haha!!
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In a word: no.
Sorry I don’t mean to be dismissive, but it’s nonsense.
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I am a firm believer in alternative therapies and the mind body connection. With this in mind, I tried applied kinesiology/chropractic therapy, but it failed. I am a sample of 1, and I’m sure it works for others, but not me.
Perhaps I stopped too soon; I went for about 4 months, every week without fail. Every single time I waited for close to an hour for my appointment, even though I had the 8am appointment every Thursday, booked a month in advance. This was really annoying, which I’m sure didn’t help the mind-body connection at all
I don’t know why they just didn’t book in fewer people. The time with the chiro/kinesiologist was maximum 5 minutes, then he put in a few acupuncture needles and left me alone for about 30minutes. I became disillusioned eventually, it just seemed so rushed, and I saw absolutely no improvement.
Maybe I should have stuck it out for longer, but I lost faith in the approach and the Dr, and without the belief that it would work, it had no chance. I still totally believe kinesiology can identify root of problems, issues and illnesses, but whether chiropractic can cure, or help with symptoms, I’m not so sure.
For me it was a costly but futile experience, but anecdotally, for many others it has work brilliantly. If it’s working for you, go with it. Give it enough time. And be honest with yourself. Good luck!
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it sounds like you had a really bad practitioner! I would have complained after the 3rd or 4th time they treated you and asked for a referral to a quieter clinic as you were not feeling any benefits and found the whole experience of theirs distressing and counter-productive to your treatment/recovery.
Whether it was working or not, that is really poor service!
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I was anorexic for about 4 years. Suicidal. Insommniac. Tried dietician. Tried counsellor. Tried public health nurse. I couldn’t talk to anyone, especially not the counsellor, I could only cry and feel ashamed.
Then my mum kept me taking me to see the counsellor and dietician and also started taking me to see a kinesiologist.
IT WORKED!
Seeing this lady worked.
First session – she gave me some bach flower remedy (she muscle tested me to get the right one) to cure the insomnia.
That shit worked. (May have been placebo effect, I am and have always been a sceptic) but it did work. I could sleep!! Now I don’t care if it was placebo effect, I was seriously insomniac which was making me crazy – literally. And after that I could sleep!
After subsequent sessions I actually started working on and getting over my issues.
I really connected with this lady, I could talk to her, and I felt accepted. She made me feel great. I totally accept that it may have just been her personality, her kind spirit, her ability to draw me out of myself. Maybe it was not the kinesiology itself. I’ll never know. But fuck, that was the only thing that worked, GOING TO SEE a kinesiologist. Seeing her saved my life – literally (doctors at the time told me I was verging on doing irreparable damage to my heart and other vital organs).
I don’t know if it is quackery. But that kinesiologist basically saved me.
My advice – give it a try. Don’t do or accept advice that you are not comfortable with. See a (normal) counseller and/or doctor in tandem and keep them up to date with what you are doing with the kinesiologist. Don’t go 100% over to the ‘dark side’
. If it gets too wacky for you just bow out. Worth a try.
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I am so excited you have Brendan Maclean on the show this week. I can’t wait to watch him, I love his writing and his manner on the radio (and his tweets are hilarious). Yay to that.
On my mind is Miranda Devine. Normally when I disagree with what someone has written I get over it pretty quickly but for some reason her bizarre Penny Wong – fatherless families – London riots rant has stuck with me and infuriates me and I don’t know how to get rid of the anger.
It may or may not have something to do with the book I read over the weekend, called Holding the Man by Tim Conigrave. It’s a memoir, mostly about a long-term partnership between two men, and it’s brilliant. I can’t stop thinking about it, days after finishing it.
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Yep – really excited that Brendan Maclean is on the show this week…I wonder what they’ll talk about…
…and while I enjoy Sam De Brito…does he have to be on 3 weeks in a row?
Re Miranda Devine…yeah, a lot of angry people out there…I think we’re just totally over these kinds of narrow-minded opinions…you can play the “everyone has a right to their opinion” card for just so long, but eventually you need to let off some steam…
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Blatant self-promotion…I recently added some lyrics to a piece of music I originally wrote in 1988…the new lyrics are kind of inspired by some of the discussions we’ve had on MM, including climbing trees…I thought you guys might like to hear it…
http://music.johnanthonyjames.com/track/up-that-tree?permalink
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I like it!
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Thanks!
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Nice lyrics. You may like this then…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQh9k1MO854&feature=related
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I want those suits!!!
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Yes! I think I wore that suit to my year 10 formal.
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An elephant is on my mind.
(Disclaimer: I am tired).
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Photo was seriously vertical when I loaded.
OMM: Technology.
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So glad you didn’t post a photo of your trunk…
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Check Twitter …
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I’m at work…I’m scared to check anything about trunks…
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OMM: ‘my trunk, my trunk, my lovely lady trunk’…..kicked off by JJ’s comment above….my body is in Wednesday, my mind? Friday (obviously)
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Just wanted some advice from the MM crowd….
My husband and I have been arguing recently about me going out with the girls at night. I catch up with the girls once a month and always put my 2 year old to sleep before I go. The last time I went, he woke up and hubby called me and wanted me to come home and calm him down, which led to a massive row over the phone. He calls me almost every time I’m out wanting me to come home and put him back to sleep if he’s woken up. He thinks it’s unfair to let him cry when he wakes up wanting me, even though it only lasts for 10-20 minutes or so. My thoughts are ”You’re his DAD, you should be able to put him to sleep too, it shouldn’t be my responsibility to do it every single night”. He feels differently and says ”He needs his mum, he doesn’t want me”
Its frustrating because I don’t go out much and really cherish the night I have with friends, as much as I love my little guy, I need time to myself without having to be ‘mum’ for the night.
I don’t mean to sound selfish, it’s not that I don’t care if he’s crying his eyes out but I can’t never go out just in case he might wake up.
Hubby is a great dad, and always puts our other son to sleep every night, their bed time routine is actually very sweet and they read together for 30minutes every night before he sings to him and stays next door till he sleeps.
I’m just so frustrated that he makes me feel awful if our 2 yr old wakes when I’m out. I just feel like I deserve a few hours to myself once a month. Just wondering how other mums would deal with this issue….
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He’s just scared (husband…not son…or maybe him too?!) Mine was just the same but I have started a course and now he has to put him to bed once a week and has gotten really good at it!
In the beginning, I just said, ‘if you can’t deal, get him up and let him sit on the couch with you. If he falls asleep, fine. If he is still awake when I get home, fine. It’s one night!’ That kind of gave him permission to be a little hopeless…and to not call me!
A lot of guys (and girls for that matter) are terrified of babies simply because they can’t talk and tell them what the problem is. Mums seem to work out after a bit that a cuddle solves all. He will get there. You just need to give him more practice! Get out of the house a few more nights
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Hi Anony, I agree with you. Us mums really do need some time out and its unfortunate that your husband is not onboard with this.
The only thing I can recommend is some comprimise. If you want 1 night off a month give him something to go out and enjoy every month too. whether it be a game of golf, night out with the boys, anything that he might be interested in. Does he have a hobby? just as an example I’m imagining someone with a hobby for classic toy electric trains, every month he’s allowed to buy a new part and that one night a month is when he gets to work on it. Just an example, it could be anything.
on the subject of your son, he is calling for you oiut of habit as you are the one that always goes to him. If this is a monthly occassion it may not be regular enough for him to get used to daddy coming to him straight away but it will happen. Its the same as a child starting day care, the cry and ask for mummy for the first few days then they are ok.
I hope this helps. I think comprimise is the only answer to something like this, don’t back down cause you deserve that time out with your girls for your sanity
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Honestly he needs to suck it up & deal with it. The only way he will learn is when he is left alone with the kids. You deserve to go out and have fun without being asked to come home every time a child wakes up. Is he ok with them during the day, or is it just a night time issue?
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I agree JellyBelly. They both will learn to deal with it. Your husband and son I mean. They will get used to each other. A short amount of pain with the crying for you, until he gets used to Dad being there, will eventually result in your son being able to be comforted by both parents.
And yes, you do deserve to go out
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We had a similar thing where I was doing the bed time routine every night. There was no real reason but that we’d fallen into a routine of me putting the kids to bed. We made a conscious effort to change things which took time and patience.
We started by doing the routine together for a few nights, then I took a back seat for a few nights then he did it alone. It took some time but now works really well.
For one night a month I would definitely expect my husband to take on this challenge and not phone unless absolutely necessary.
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Thanks so much for the replies. Yes, I always put my little guy to sleep and hubby does the bedtime routine with our oldest son. I’ve told him how important it is to me to have that time to myself but he honestly doesn’t get it.
He has his AFL games that he goes to, and on those occasions I will put both kids to sleep, so he does have time to himself too. I feel like he’s just being hypocritical, expecting me to do it on those occasions but then complaining if its my night out.
He feels that because our little guy is so dependent on me being there to put him back to sleep if he wakes up, that I should come straight home and not ”leave him to suffer while you’re out”.
It really has had us fighting quite badly recently, and even my friends have commented on the fact that he always calls me when we’re out. I really don’t know how to make him see how unreasonable he is being. I’m so frustrated with him on this issue and tired of being made to feel guilty for wanting time to myself.
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We had the same thing, my husband with the “she doesn’t like me putting her to bed… she wants you to do it, can’t you just do it” … Cue: Mummy Meltdown, big time.
I then made him put our daughter to bed every single night and tend to her until she went to sleep. After a week of so, happy days, he or I could put her to bed, and he couldn’t use the excuse of ‘she wants you’ because then she started asking for Daddy.
I agree with all the other ladies – put your foot down! I think boys get away with it becuase they KNOW they can rely on us to help them out. We don’t get anyone to rely on, so we HAVE to do it (have had that conversation many times when my husband has said I cope with the kids crying better than he does. I just say when he says he can’t cope with it, I HAVE to do it, because I can’t handball it to anyone else. I don’t cope better. I don’t have a choice!!)
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My husband and I take turns with bedtime – I put Miss Mischief to bed one night, and he does Miss Shadow, then we swap the next night and so on. We started doing this when Miss Shadow was younger as she absolutely refused to have anyone else put her to bed but me. I hope you keep going to your nights out anony, you deserve some time out – everyone does!
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Thanks Sindi, I think I may start doing this too so that way there are no drama’s if I’m not there.
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That’s a great point Liz about not really having a choice, and doing it because I HAVE to do it, whereas he knows he can pass him off to me!
I’ve been at fault too because I’ve come home in the past when he’s called but I’m putting my foot down and staying put next time!
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THIS! Did you spy on my house?
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Leave your phone at home. I don’t imagine a night with the girls would be ultra late if you’re a mum, and if he can’t get in touch with you he can figure it out himself. Harsh, but sometimes a sink or swim approach is the way to go.
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I have wondered why did they have changed chip packets. Before when i was little (an 80s kid) they used to be plastic crinkly type of packets in which you can put under the grill and then they shrink up. Does anyone remember doing this? I used to make key rings once they shrunk up. Please mama team – put a petition out to bring them back!
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Hi NA
A friend of mine has this website – it’s the exact same thing, but you personalise them/make them what you want (keyrings, necklaces, figurines etc). They are reasonably priced and seem to be super-popular with the kids for parties etc.
http://www.shrinkibits.com.au/
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Shrinkies! Teeny tiny little Twisties packets, and teeny tiny little CC’s packets. Loved making Shrinkies…used them with my Sindy dolls. Also remember that you could get them in cereal packets, little plastic thingys that you’d put in the oven and shrink down…wow. Hadn’t thought of that for ages. I wonder if our brain development was impared by the fumes?
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I put this photo on the Thailand post but thought it’s worth a re-visit!
Mmmmm beer and pad thai on the beach….
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As Liz Lemon would say: I want to go to there!
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I think we need organise a work trip.. Mia?
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