Last week was a big one for Team Mamamia: We launched our radio show (huzzah!), we welcomed a whole new batch of interns (each of whom is absolutely fabulous, I might add) and we made the EXTREMELY SIGNIFICANT decision to dump our official Pizza Tuesday in favour of Sushi Tuesday. Controversial to say the least.
So you would have thought that all of this would have meant we had enough drama and excitement for one week.
Mia wears a Sportsgirl top and scarf with Sass & Bide pants.
But if you were to think such a thing, beloved MM readers – then you would be wrong. As wrong, in fact, as my year 5 teacher Mr Duncan was when he told 11-year-old me that the Backstreet Boys’ contribution to musical history could not be considered ‘significant’. In other words: Oh so very, very wrong.
You see, last week I was struck down with a violent case, of what can only be described as the WORST PMT since the little female fishies swam out of the ocean, grew legs and started menstruating.
This was PMT of epic proportions. This was PMT of such a scale that it warranted a public apology on Twitter to the poor people who had the misfortune to speak with me for a period of about 72 hours.
And it was made worse by the fact that I work in an office of women. Lots of women. Lots of women who seem to be somewhat physically and emotionally in tune with one another.
Yes you guessed it. The entire MM Editorial Team (bar poor Nat, who struggled through with this Zen-like Buddha expression on her face) were seriously angry last week and each of us were fighting a losing battle with the slimy, green, googly-eyed PMT monster).
The site even crashed on Monday night. The tech people tell us it was because MM was just TOO POPULAR for its own good that particular evening but I know that is a lie. It was the PMT. We broke the site with our totally and utterly unreasonable crankiness. Sorry about that.
How has your week been? What’s on your mind?
Comments
282 Comments so far
OMM: How do you let go of someone you love? I keep thinking that no one will ever make me feel that special/important/loved again, so my question is, how do you walk away if you know its the best thing for both of you (because he has other priorities) but you feel physically sick at the thought?
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well! i found out that my sister s partner has been molesting my neice. i have a final uni exam today and have barely done any study because i cant think about anything else.
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I’m so sorry to hear that.
You must be so shocked, devestated, angry, saddened. In other words, too many emotions to handle on your own. I suggest you see a counsellor at uni for the sake of your sanity, and that you get a letter from them so that you can apply for special consideration/an extension for your exam.
Again, I’m so sorry xo
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[b]It aswell means they an exceptional abnormally anytime their personal nhl nfl football jerseys have a tendency to be accurate and printed.[/b]
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Sadly, I think the days parents had any respect for teachers are gone. I think Principals should demand parents have a code of conduct, and realize how their child behaves at school may be very different from how they are with their parents. Teachers deserve much more respect than what they now receive. And No, I am not a teacher, just a concerned citizen who can see how out of control children currently are becoming.
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I have a question , our primary school is fantastic , we have a great balance of female & male teachers , however one of our teachers happens to be a very fair, balanced & compassionate man. also extremlly good at teaching. As at any school ,their is always difficult boys who will always make life difficult , Mr A…. will give these kids strong guidence , sometimes loud but definatly justified. The problem is he is always being confronted by a couple of mums that believe he should not put their little Johny in their place because they believe their little angels could be nothing other than perfect ! My question is how can I stop these women from interfering in mens buisnesse when it is not justified ? My three children all had Mr A .. teach them & they absolutly adore him. We all know boys need good role models , I don’t understand why these ladys want to ruin a brilliant teacher when they should be rewarding him for creating order & disaplin in to their & their childs life. This is part of the reason we are losing male teachers. I know a lot of you will be upset with my comment but I think you must be real & accept reality. somtimes you just have to step back in the natural order of things.
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I hate the way there is judgement if you live in Sydney’s south west. I have lived here all of my life and I have never had any problems. We have a nice home and my kids are wonderful contributing members of society. We are not poor, nor have ever been on any Govt.benefits. Yes we have a large migrant population, but I thought all the bleeding hearts on MM wanted them to be welcome in our country, even taking them into your own homes. We live a very happy life out here and I am glad I don’t live amongst snobs and people who don’t really know what life is about, but are full of opinions on how things should be done.
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people only become postcode snobs to try & make them feel better about their souless lives ,usually these people are very insecure & boring but also a lot of fun because they are fake & not very bright so very easy to make fun of at dinner partys’ . if you let these gooses bother you , they win !
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The above reply was for your comment.
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OMM: Sometimes you don’t want the response “I know exactly what you mean/how you feel” when you share something with a friend. I know it’s meant to be empathic and validating, but there are times when it has the opposite effect. For this reason it’s a phrase I try to avoid using as much as possible myself.
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Scored at the Mimco sale and wanted to share. And no I don’t work for them!
In store I ‘checked in’ on FB and blew up a balloon, which gave me 25% off. Significant when you are buying a couple of big pieces.
You can also get the deal online. Cheered me up after a bummy work day.
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OMM : Feeling very undervalued at the moment.
Ive worked for an employer for 10 + years and apparently bending over backwards to help them out, working in my own time and being one of their longest serving employees means absolutely nothing. Mr of 10 + years, not married, struggled with infidelity issues 12 months ago, both worked uber hard at and are through now.
Seriously – since when did the simple act of being a good person count for shit? I just want to know when, WHEN will it be my time to shine?
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I am very over the phrase: ” just saying / just sayin’ ”
It is a passive aggressive way of making a point, often with the intention of absolving oneself of a controversial point of view or remark.
I think people who use it think they are lightening the weight of their comment somehow, or being airy or dismissive of their own contribution, when they use it.
Why is it everywhere now? It seems to be the most overused phrase of the last couple of months.
Can’t we all be a little more creative in our dialogue?
Just sayin’. (d’Oh!)
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Agree, agree, agree!
It’s a bit like saying ‘You’re a bitch. No offence.’ Putting ‘no offence’ or ‘just saying’ at the end of a statement doesn’t absolve you from the first thing you said.
It’s the passive / aggressive part of it that gets me. Like saying ‘whatever’ to someone.
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I think “just saying” is one of the most incredibly passive aggressive phrases around. Hate it.
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Ugh – I am TRYING to participate in the open post and have no idea how my OMM could be offensive, but it seems it is because it will not post.
First world problem – cry.
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I’ve been having this too. It’s not that your post is offensive, it’s just a technical issue (I’m assuming). I’ve just had to wait it out, except for in one instance when I’d posted a link and it probably went through to spam. I’ve found that signing out, going back to the home page and then coming back to where you posted seems to work.
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My posts keep not appearing, then appearing, then disappearing and reappearing again so you’re not the only one!
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My post has disappeared
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OMM – People who cannot be punctual. It really, really irks me.
Two cases this week – was meeting friends at a restaurant for dinner.. chose one in the area they live in so they didn’t have to travel far (like 5 mins walking distance), I did, but didn’t care. I got to the restaurant on time, and waited 20 minutes. It seems to happen to me all the time.. I get caught alone in restaurants and public places waiting, waiting, waiting and getting angry because they can’t stick to the meet time. I’d never dream of leaving a friend waiting for a long time.. yet it happens to me countless times… and I still can’t turn up to meet these people late, I don’t have it in me haha.
Also – I’ve been coming into work early this week to do some OT before most people are in and one of my junior colleagues who is arranged to start at 8 casually strolls in at 8.30… fair enough, maybe she’s arranged it with the office manager and will finish later… no she cheekily leaves at her normal time. First time, didn’t blank and eyelid, third time was think wtf? She’s getting paid for this time and just coming in whenever. Not cool bro.. and sneakily doing it when no one is the office…
I sound like a grumpy old woman, but I’m only 24. Why can’t people be on time? Is it that hard?
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Oh Cat, I get that too with restaurants/public places. I normally end up reading/writing/working while I wait, but I have a 20-30 Minute Rule…if no one shows up within 20 to 30 minutes (depending on who they are and how I’m feeling on the day) and I can’t get onto them, I’ll just leave. It’s not a nice thing to do but it gets the point across.
As for the girl in your office…is she skipping lunch to make up for it maybe? If not I’d probably bring it up with her because she needs to learn better work ethics!
But at least you know you’re good with punctuality
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We have some family that are ALWAYS late, even the latest dinner on saturday that THEY ORGANISED, they were still half hour late! Its just plain rude, and dare I say, the people I know that are like this are either 1) home schooled and have no sense of time or 2) work for themselves and have no sense of time !
Ahh the sneaky employee – we have one here too who ‘has some jobs to do down the street’ and never returns to the office – Interesting when you ring her house shortly after she has left and she is already at home – when she ‘had jobs to do down the street’. but yes frustrating t people get away with that sort of behaviour
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Yep, people’s punctuality (or lack thereof) drives me batty. If you’re going to be late, send me a text saying why. I have a friend who is never on time, but just writes it off as ‘Oh, that’s just who I am’. If you know that you’re really lacking in a particular area, do something about it! I don’t whack people in the face and expect people to just accept it as an amusing character flaw.
I used to go out with a guy who would routinely be late for things. By, like, four hours or so, and could never understand why he couldn’t hold down a job.
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My Dad and stepmother are demons for the lateness. Dad worked in airlines so I’ve always been a bit puzzled as to how that worked out.
We started telling them that things were starting half an hour earlier or something than they actually were, so they wouldn’t be AS late. Especially when the kids started coming along -they’d rock up to stuff an hour and a half late and wonder why the kids were cranky or asleep.
I HATE being late. With a munchkin though, it happens a lot! I always call or text and let people know though. Or I aim to leave half an hour earlier than I need to, so we’re not actually that late if we are.
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I actually missed PMT altogether this month, but got my period early without warning…not that I’m complaining, sounds like it’s been an interesting week at Mamamia, hope you’re all happy vegemites now.
OMM: Job judgement. Last night at my dance class I had a guy ask me if being an actress and a writer was “a fancy way to say (I’m) unemployed”. I mean really?
I was floored by the negativity, but eventually decided to turn it into a positive by writing about it on my blog . Has anyone else had this happen to them? I’d really love to hear other peoples thoughts, I’m so curious about the reaction I got.
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OMM: Seeing last night on 7pm Project, who in the eastern states there is a Measles breakout among school children because their parents refuse to immunize them.
This makes me both sad and angry!
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I have to move out of the apartment I’ve lived in for three years due to my flatmate not paying his rent for a few months without mentioning anything to me. So, OMM is how the hell can people be so irresponsible? Did he think the magical rent fairies were going to fix it for him?
I’ve had a solid record of being a good tenant for many years, and now this goose has gone and ruined it for me. Lesson learned – always get them put on the lease. I am devastated.
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I hear you.
Years ago, I had a flatmate move her bf in without asking or even formally telling me. I had lived with her for less than six weeks. They both tried to sneak him in or out, or pretend he wasn’t in her room went she and I left for work every morning.
I used to live only ten minutes’ walk from my work and would pop in for lunch to do laundry or whatever and he was there ALL the time with the air con on full blast (he worked shifts) drinking beers and watching sport on pay TV (I found out the bills for pay TV came in his name which just cemented their intentions to me). I also realised he parked his car one street away and it was there every day and night. He didn’t pay one cent of rent or utilities. I didn’t know him from Adam.
Needless to say, I moved out very swiftly to my parents before deciding to get a place on my own. It cost a lot but was 50 times better. The place looked exactly like I had last left it every time I came home. I have never looked back. Massive peace of mind.
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That sounds like a ridiculous situation – did they really think you wouldn’t notice?? How bizarre.
I am moving back to my parents for awhile to financially recover now – I’m spectacularly broke from having to cover as much of his rent as I could for the last month to stave off eviction. And while he swears up and down that he will pay what he owes (and I do believe him), he seems to have no concept of due dates. Landlords generally don’t accept good intentions as a form of currency, they expect to get paid at the same time each week/fortnight/month.
I honestly just can’t get my head around the lack of responsibility. And then he had the nerve to get all upset when I called him on it. Sigh.
Just to top off all the stress, my sister’s hens night is on this weekend and the wedding is in a few weeks. I was planning on paying for a few things to help them out but now I can’t.
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a rave , sorry
At the weekend I read about how they are going to start training teachers to cope with violent and disruptive students. COPE!!!!! Not remove, not counsel the students, cope with them. Sighhhh I am glad I am out. Are we prison warders? Are we nurses/ helpers in a mental hospital?
Teachers, even good teachers will have to contend with that badly behaved child while the rest of the class sit by and wait. It has been getting worse for the past 10 years.
Has anyway ever done a survey on why many teachers are retiring early and why so many of the new teachers leave for other positions?
Then there were a few articles over the past few weeks about what to do with juvenile offenders. Could there possibly be a connection? ( rhetorical)
I know of many teachers whose teaching interest most of the students, have an enthusiasm for their area of expertise, present lots of material that is current and acceptable to the students , who have decided to retire because they just can’t put up with that disruptive group that ruin every day of their life.
When I taught full time I would work in liaison with the school counsellor to help various students who were minor disruptions but just needed some help, today this minority is losing as well.
Maybe the money and “help” should be aimed at primary school? Many students are contending with anti social behaviour at home or a lack of training in social ethics.
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This is precisely the reason I left the public system.
People will cry foul at this – but the private/Catholic system filters off the majority of the disruptive, un-cooperative, rude, violent, aggressive students.
I go to work to do my job – not be spat on, sworn at, called a c*nt and a whore, had food thrown at me (all of this happened).
I refuse to *cope* with out of control kids whose families don’t care.
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“the private/Catholic system filters off the majority of the disruptive, un-cooperative, rude, violent, aggressive students.”
And where exactly do you think these ‘filtered off’ students go?
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I seriously wish our Government would subsidise health foods and make them more affordable and accessible to everyone and heavily tax junk foods (much like cigarettes) to address to the growing obesity problem and change behaviour and mindset. It seems counter-intuitive that fast foods and processed supermarket foods are cheaper and easier to come by vs. fresh healthy or organic foods which seem to be positioned as ‘specialised’. Let’s change this dialect and get the government to drive it!
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Just spent the day in a training course which was a complete waste of time. AND the sexy boy from the office is playing the ignore game despite a whole heap of loaded conversation yesterday. Why won’t he initiate and just CHEER ME UP!!!!
UGH! Cranky.
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OMM: How I’m going to find the time in the next 3 months to get my students up to scratch for their year 12 exam. Where do I find the extra hours in my week – about 15 of them – to prepare, read essays, give enough feedback?
I work part time, but when i’m not at work I’m being a mum/wife/daughter/sister/friend/cleaner/chef/domestic organiser. I am exhausted at the end of a home day but can’t just work at work. My job requires me to spend hours on it at home already, and somehow I need to find more time.
Any advice would be a blessing. Any time saving strategies out there?
And yes, less time on this site would help. But I’m a big believer in me time, too.
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I just came out to everyone on facebook. So anxious, i feel sick!
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I’m not sure if congratulations is quite the right word, but even though I don’t know you, I’m really proud of the strength it took for you to do that. I hope it all went well, and you’re ok. LOVE!
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Best of luck for a huge wave of support and good wishes from your loved ones!
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Let us know on Friday in the best and worst how it all goes! I hope it’s all fine!
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OMM –
Moving into my partners house this weekend. Very excited but slightly concerned about carrying my HUGE mattress up 6 flights of stairs. I can see someone getting injured
Feeling awfully guilty leaving my parents behind. They are still young and active and don’t need me around to help them, but I am the last to move out and will be moving 1hr away. Can’t shake this guilt, I am sure in time it will ease.
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Has Mamamia discussed the current Target controversy yet? Appologies if I’ve missed it and am starting a new ‘thread’ unnecessarily …
But, am I the only one who thinks its ironic to complain about clothes that sexualise young girls, while saying their clothes make them looks like ‘tramps’ and ‘hookers’?
I’m all for age-appropriate clothes, but telling girls their clothes still define their identity, nevermind using outdated and sexist terms like these, is belittling and hardly the way to equality …?
Do we tell little boys their clothes make them look like …(I don’t even know what?) … ‘Gigolos’? ‘Himbos’? ‘Sleazes’?
[Another clever friend also pointed out the inherent discrimination is using 'hooker' (sex worked) as a derogatory term ...]
*SIGH*
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We don’t need to over think this too much. I get what you mean but in all honesty who wants their little girls wearing sexy clothes? Not many of us I’m sure. There’s no need for it. I hope mums just don’t buy into this and it becomes unprofitable for the chains to continue this nasty trend.
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OMM: Cloth nappies. I’m a big cloth user, but am struggling to find a good night time option for my baby. Does anybody have any suggestions for me? I’m really wanting something that is cotton or bamboo and not a fitted nappy (i.e. doesn’t need a cover) as right now I use Charlie Banana and because the material is synthetic, by morning they STINK!
Man, I need to get out more.
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I use bamboo & hemp booster liners, been using them for over a year with no problems:
http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/bABe-tOe-Hemp-Bamboo-Organic-Cotton-Nappy-Booster-x4-/260745025911?pt=AU_Nappies&hash=item3cb59d5977
http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/5-x-BAMBOO-WHITE-COTTON-LINER-INSERTS-BOOSTERS-CLOTH-REUSABLE-NAPPY-DIAPER-/180749248500?pt=AU_Nappies&hash=item2a157ea7f4
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Mandy Mac Purple Nights with a wool cover – can’t recommend them highly enough. I have three which sees us through the week with washing every second day. Check out Bodeo or Darlings Downunder.
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Pea pods! Google them
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Mia
Is there any reason why ALL your staff are slim and you hire no plus size staff?
Just Asking
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hmm wats on my mind? if u actually think about it its a hard question to answer’
anyways i have wanted to say this for ages but i keep forgetting:
I LOVE MAMMAMIA!!!! its honestly soooooo true i love the fact that i could go to my friends and tell them news and i love how that ppl can get help on this site, not just ppl but me, u see i have learned a couple of things here on this site, my friends ask wat mammamia is and i just want to slap them!! every one in the world should be on this site!!! I LOVE MAMMAMIA!!!!!
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I haven’t had sex in two years ! Arrrggghhhh !!!!!!!!!!!! H E L P M E !
* I cannot go on being my own stimulation forever and eating a month’s chocolate every week.
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8 years and have never seen a vibrator in the flesh. AND I eat a months worth of chocolate a day. In bed. With my OWN remote control! Luv it! Mostly ..
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When it does happen again, I think I may explode. Like a fem-bot!
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Ha ha, that reminds me. My friend who has not had sex for 8 years had a hot date on the weekend. She had high hopes. Haven’t heard the goss yet. Wait, is that you?
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On my mind is the fact that I’ve never felt so good. Started up at the gym last month and have been going 4 days a week and feel fantastic. Not just in the fitness way – but in the ‘I’m in a great headspace’ way… Which for someone with recently diagnosed anxiety and new medication is bloody fantastic!!
My only concern is – and yes, it’s vain – can someone do a program with weights, take protein supplements (I’m a vego) and stay a size 6. Yes, terrible I know – but I’ve invested so much money in a new wardrobe recently that the thought of my pretty new clothes not fitting makes me want to cry! My bro in law who’s an exercise physiologist assures me that yes, it’s definitely possible and I’ll find my clothes fitting better once I increase my muscle… But still apprehensive! Can anyone give me their experience?
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Yes it’s possible! I have been doing weights for years and never gone up a dress size. I just limit the amount of reps I do, and I use between 3-5kg weights as I find that this (light-ish) weight is perfect (for me) for toning.
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I am hoping things fall into place leading to a new job so I can avoid getting royally shafted in my current one.
The harder you work the more people try to take advantage of you at times.
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Plenty things on my mind lately. I hate being sick, can’t wait to feel better so I can start going to the gym again. I’m not ready for a relationship but I’m missing the comfort and company of my ex. I wish it was easy to meet a nice guy. New job on Monday, very happy! although I have a bad feeling something might screw it up. Don’t know, just do. Getting bored at home lately, all I want to do is bake but no one to eat the baked goods.
haha! okay enough jibberish.
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OMM: How lucky I am to have my job.
On the weekend, I found out that my sons soccer coach has been retrenched and been job hunting for 3 months. Then a close friend got retrenched on Monday – she is devastated. Another friend in her late 40s has been looking for work unsuccessfully for so long that she has decided to stop looking as it is too demoralising esp. as she feels her age is a big factor.
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If after you press save your comment disappears, press the back browser and you will see that its normally still there in the box waiting for you! Cut and paste it somewhere safe and try again later! That’s what I did…
As an aside – was wondering if this happened to anyone else….. my computer or some “ghost” /alien/ tech bug liked heaps of the comments on this and other posts – I’m talking like 100 likes that I definitely didn’t do myself…..weird!!
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Mine is doing exactly the same!!
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Argh! Trying to post but nothing working…
Oh mamamia! This website is struggling technically isn’t it?
A bit of feedback:
I haven’t been able to view the galleries for several weeks now. I use Google Chrome.
The edit/delete button is always missing now.
The thumbs button is often missing. And sometimes it’s there for a page of comments but not the other pages.
The K-mart ad on the homepage is very annoying. The pop-up bit with the game or whatever it is. Argh! And the panels running down either side of the homepage – very distracting to the eye. I have worked in graphic design and it’s a big no-no to have such distracting graphics making the readers eyes dart about and potentially miss the main point of a page/website etc.
The Mamamia pop-up ad also very distracting.
Everytime I open a new window and type in this website’s address the window that opens up is the homepage from several weeks ago. The one where Jamila’s article about being a feminist is the main story and then all the other stories from that day down the right-hand side. I have to then open another (sometimes two or three) more windows before I get to the current days homepage.
Sorry MM team. I realise this all sounds very negative, but just wanted to summarise some of the glitches that I experience all the time. It’s really beginning to deter me from returning here… I hope you can fix it soon.
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Hi Anonymous
Thanks so much for your comment. Don’t worry about feeling negative – I promise we are feeling the same pain!!! We’re going through some technical bugs at the moment. Our tech team are working around the clock trying to get it all fixed up. We’ll have it sorted as soon as possible!
Jamila
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Oh mamamia! This website is struggling technically isn’t it?
A bit of feedback:
I haven’t been able to view the galleries for several weeks now. I use Google Chrome.
The edit/delete button is always missing now.
The thumbs button is often missing. And sometimes it’s there for a page of comments but not the other pages.
The K-mart ad on the homepage is very annoying. The pop-up bit with the game or whatever it is. Argh! And the panels running down either side of the homepage – very distracting to the eye. I have worked in graphic design and it’s a big no-no to have such distracting graphics making the readers eyes dart about and potentially miss the main point of a page/website etc.
The Mamamia pop-up ad also very distracting.
Everytime I open a new window and type in this website’s address the window that opens up is the homepage from several weeks ago. The one where Jamila’s article about being a feminist is the main story and then all the other stories from that day down the right-hand side. I have to then open another (sometimes two or three) more windows before I get to the current days homepage.
Sorry MM team. I realise this all sounds very negative, but just wanted to summarise some of the glitches that I experience all the time. It’s really beginning to deter me from returning here… I hope you can fix it soon.
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OMM: My boyfriend broke up with me on Saturday (together for four months) due to my inability to get rid of a manipulative friend (known her for 18 years) out of our relationship who manipulated me to the point that I started ripping into my boyfriend not even realizing for 3 months. I gave him three days, called him yesterday, poured out my heart to which he told me that baby steps would need to be taken and we could not go back to normal straight away. I said that that was okay because I screwed up. I texted him last night and thanked him for being patient and listening to me. He then thought about it and sent me a text saying that we should be friends and who knows what will happen later on and that he wants me a part of his life. I didn’t reply.
MM’ers, my boyfriend and I used to write each other letters. I have one that I prepared, it’s six pages, should I send it?
OMM2: The fact that I feel as if in a crisis, all my friends disappear. I’m so hurt and feel like I am dealing with all this stuff on my own at 22.
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Good god. Don’t you get it? He’s sick of the drama, so he sees that one of your friends is a nasty piece of work who is adversely affecting your life. So he wants you to get rid of her. That’s fair enough, but then, after you pour out your heart to him, you start playing little games by not responding to a text message.
Grow up and talk to the man properly. No decent bloke will put up with that sort of manipulative rubbish.
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She’s a toxic friend. In fact, she is not a friend – she’s not earned that label has she, lately? Friendship is earner – and not just once, 18 years ago, but week in and week out.
She is jealous of your time with him and has tried to cause a rift, then a split – and it has worked, hasn’t it? I bet she’s thrilled you are single again and can hang with her anytime.
Trust me, 18 years do not matter when she is harming your happiness. Time and life changes people and alters relationships. Who she was aged 4 or 5 to you (or perhaps who you have become) may not be compatible anymore.
She needs to see you won’t tolerate her being manipulative (a bit like a parent disciplining a child). Think of it as a test of your friendship. Some time apart (e.g. a full fortnight without texts, or Facebook, or calls) may help her have a good think about it, you never know. She may apologise. If not, and she gets in touch after a fortnight – let her know what she did to hurt you, and say that an apology is required on her part. If you do not get one, then dump her pronto – no matter if this decent dude takes you back or not. She’s not going to make your life better, but probably worse. I hope, whatever happens, you’ll come to realise he did you a favour by highlighting the issue to you.
As for your OMM2 – I strongly suggest you take up a new interest / hobby where you can meet new people of all genders and ages. Do a language, join a netball team, take up pottery or weaving, join a book club. You need to expand the little world you have been living in. It sounds as if you have one foot in your school days, the other in your young adulthood. Do not be scared to let go and see what is out there.
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OMM1: My boyfriend broke up with me on Saturday (together for four months) due to my inability to get rid of a manipulative friend (known her for 18 years) out of our relationship who manipulated me to the point that I started ripping into my boyfriend not even realizing for 3 months. I gave him three days after the breakup, called him yesterday, poured out my heart to which he told me that baby steps would need to be taken and we could not go back to normal straight away. I said that that was okay because I screwed up. I texted him last night and thanked him for being patient and listening to me. He then must have spoken to people and sent me a text saying that we should be friends and who knows what will happen later on and that he wants me a part of his life. I didn’t reply.
MM’ers, my boyfriend and I used to write each other letters. I have one that I prepared, it’s six pages, should I send it or drop it off to his letterbox tonight?
OMM2: I feel as if in a crisis, all my friends disappear. I’m so hurt and feel like I am dealing with all this stuff on my own at 22.
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Still running after five weeks as I’m determined to ‘be a runner’. I am getting better but I’m really not enjoying it! I’ve been polling all the runners I know and it’s a little frightening how many people hate it but do it because they feel so good AFTERWARDS. Really? Does anyone actually enjoy the physical ‘in the moment’ aspect of running?
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I do
As long as I have the right music on for the speed that I run (11k per hour) then I enjoy the running at the time that I am actually doing it. I run for 35 minutes so around 15 minutes in I start to get bored, but once I hit 20 minutes and I am on the home stretch I pick up again 
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I do! It took about 3 months of running 4 times per week to buildup to 6-7kms, once you pass a certain level of fitness it stops hurting and becomes fun. Music helps too!
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Good to know LouEm and Houston. I’ve started having moments when I enjoy it, but mostly I’m just thinking about when I can stop!
Doing the Couch to 5k program and that is keeping me going because I can see how much progress I’ve made in a month. Not sure if I’m going to be able to run 20 minutes without stopping as I’m supposed to by the end of this week – I guess it will take a while before I enjoy that part!!
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Anyone know of a good online site where you can make photobooks? I know of several but I have never used them so I don’t know what the quality is like.
Have I missed something about the anon intern?
Love everyone’s clothes in the photos. I love the guy with his dog – just lovely.
I cannot believe the girl in Puberty Blues is the same girl from the Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries – she looks so much older in the latter!
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Creative Memories do a good photobook. You download the program for free I think, then make it up the way you want, and then you pay based on how many pages done.
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Momento photobooks are the best that I have found.
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Momento photobooks are the best I have found
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thank you I have been racking my brainsbout where I saw her before ,
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thank you , have been racking my brains where I saw her before
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Not sure about online, but if you are close to a k-mart, try them. I got mine in an hour (though it was a little more expensive).
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I use Snapfish a lot and am always happy with the results. And the price!
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Have you tried Momento, Lala? I’ve always had a great experience with them …
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You can get some great photobook deals online through those voucher websites. Some of the photobooks are as cheap as $5.
I’ve used different companies to print wedding album and canvas wall prints, and been happy with all so far.
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This is my first time contributing to the Open Post – so here goes..
OMM: Trying to solve the eternal puzzle of – when should I start having babies? I have a lot of factors to consider and I’m struggling to find a balance. None of my friends or family are in the same situation as I am, so it is a little hard to get the best advice.
I’m 26, married and have recently started uni. I would love to establish myself in a career before having babies, however I am also strongly aware of the fact that a career can wait while my ovaries cannot. I would happily put off having kids except for the fact that I would like at lest 2 or 3, so I would need to start sooner rather than later.
My recurring internal monologue is this – should I do 2/2.5 years of my degree, take 12months maternity leave, then finish my degree and start my career? Or do I wait until I finish my degree, have 12 months off between uni/career to have the baby at 29/30 and then start my career?
I also don’t own a home, we rent. So any advice the wonderful MM readers can provide me will me very much appreciated
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I had my first baby at 30 and I found that was the perfect age. And it still gave me plenty of time for siblings.
I would do your studies first and then have the baby.
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“Trying to solve the eternal puzzle of – when should I start having babies?”
If you work out the answer to this, can you let me know?
I’m 35 and with no potential father in sight, I’m trying to decide what is a reasonable age to consider having a child (or children) alone …
At the moment I’m committed to a HUGE work event that will end in December next year – so I figure I’ll give myself six months or so to catch my breath, then seriously commit then – I’ll be 37.5?? Eek!!! …
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Personally I would finish the degree because it’s reaaaaally hard to go back after you’ve taken time off! But if you are a very motivated sort of person then you could really do anything
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I was in tbe same boat – partner and I struggling to decide when we wanted babies! We would always say we would have them soon, but then would decide that we wanted another property/travel more/etc before they came along, so the two comments we were making didn’t mesh.
We both own a unit each that we had before entering into the relationship, and have both done a fair bit of travelling before we met. We have decided next year around Aug/Sept we will start trying, who knows how long it will take for it to happen?? Then 9 months to cook the little one
If you really want to establish your career then I would say start uni first, then babies because I would imagine it will be very difficult to study with a new born. Plus I would find I would want to spend all my time with my baby, not picking up a text book and studying.
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OMM:
Passing of Helen Gurley Brown (1922 – 2012)
Long-serving editor of Cosmo and pioneer for women.
In her words:
“Beauty can’t amuse you, but brainwork—reading, writing, thinking—can.”
“Nearly every glamorous, wealthy, successful career woman you might envy now started out as some kind of schlep.”
“My own philosophy is if you’re not having sex, you’re finished.”
“Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.”
“Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.”
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It’s brain injury awareness week so I’ve spent the week putting posters up around schools and hospitals. Wear a helmet kids! Heeelp!
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We have a post on that! http://www.mamamia.com.au/mamamia-cares/the-invisible-disability-that-affects-over-1-6-million-australians/
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Cool
My rothers heet saved his life – PUT A HELMET ON!
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OMM: I am worried that my employer hasn’t paid my HECS this year. I’ve had two jobs in the last financial year and I earnt roughly 40k in each job, meaning my earnings for the last 12months are just under 80k. However, it doesn’t show on any of my PAYG statements that any HECS has been paid … I’m very concerned – this could mean I have a 4-5k bill when I finally do my tax!! Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
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Neither of your employers are required to as in each job alone you do not earn more then the threshold.
Chances are your not paying the right tax bracket either – as again, each employer can only tax you on the 40k they think you are earning.
Been there done that! I now have my main employer take extra x amount of tax each week to cover it come tax time.
I have my second job go into a separate bank account, so come end of year its sitting there and I can pay the tax man from it (my split is more like 70/30 tho, not 50/50 like you).
sorry but….Id suggest you start saving!
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You should be able to make an arrangement with the ATO regarding payment if you need more time than the 28 days they initially give you
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no but I would call each pay office ASAP. Good luck
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Ash don’t worry. Same thing happened for me I got my HECs statement and it said id paid none, on pay slips it wasn’t showing up = quite worried! But I rang and there’s even a prompt that’s pretty much “if you are calling because you have a HECs debt and payments did not show up on your PAYG statement press 3″ so I did and it doesn’t show as contributed towards your debt until you do your tax return. When you do your return the extra tax taken aside for HECs is considered! Obviously I don’t know your situation but fingers crossed! As long as you ticked “I have a Uni debt” (or whatever it says) when you filled out the official pay paperwork for your job you’ll be FINE!
Sorry if that explanation was a bit rubbish!
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The hecs payments won’t show separately on your payment summary, it will be included in your pays tax withheld. If you want to double check, go to ato website, go the calculators and the 2012 tax calculators, and you should be able to enter in your income, and it will calculate your tax and hecs (if you tell them the amount of your deb) and you should be ale to see if you are ok. Hope that helps
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Hey Ash, the hecs is just part of your payg, calculated by using the relevant payg table, rather than being a separate withholding. The easiest way to work out if enough has been withheld is to use the income tax calculator on ato.gov.au – it gives you options to include, such as hecs liability. Fingers crossed for a good result.
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im not sure about this… but just wanted to ask what jobs you had to get 40k each? and fulltime?do you work non-stop?
just out of interest… 
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This happened to my brother. He had a second job that pushed him over the threshold with the jobs combined. As both jobs were below the threshold (49k this year) none paid HECS and he got a bill. You can negotiate with the ATO on repayments though.
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My work doesn’t seperate the tax component to the help-debt repayment in my pay slip, though I am still having extra taken out for it.
You can either contact your payroll department to find out if you ticked the right box indicating you had a help/hecs debt oyour TFN delaration. Alternatively you can go onto the ATO website and use their income tax calculator for the financial year just gone. Another option is you can have a look at the tables for witholding amounts for HELP/HECS debts.Even though it may be slightly different, this page has a list of tax tables for the 2012-2013 finincial year. http://www.ato.gov.au/businesses/content.aspx?doc=/content/33283.htm&pc=001/003/024/010/002&mnu=0&mfp=&st=&cy=
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I don’t think that’s how it works.. your employer pays the payg amount (whatever the percentage is at your income level) then HECS and offsets and everything is sorted by you when you do your tax return.
But yes, that $4-5k bill could appear then when you do your tax, so be prepared to have to pay some rather than get some back!
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You will be getting a bill – it would be on your payslip if it had been taken out. Your employers would not have been alerted (unless you expressly ask them to take it out on top of your tax) as you were earning under the weekly threshold equivalent with each of them.
If you contact the ATO after you receive the bill you can make payment arrangements outside the normal 28 day period
I had a bill due to a change to a job where I earnt a higher rate so I feel your pain – even though I starting paying it back once I moved to the higher rate, because i broke the bracket for the entire year I had to backpay the months I hadn’t been paying it at my old job even though I hadn’t been earning ‘enough’ at the time.
Can’t wait til my HECS/HELP is gone!
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OMM: MUST DO MY TAX! Really need the money!
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Hey guys, for all of you having trouble commenting today – apologies. We’re having some minor issues with our spam filter today. Should be sorted soon
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Im finding that posts have already been liked without me hitting the button. Am I the only one it’s happening to?
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Nope, that’s happening to me too!
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Minor issues?
The entire damn site doesn’t work properly. it would be ok if it were only one issue, but this site has more problems than a jewish settlement in the middle of tha sahara.
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I just want to say that I know she is busy at/in/for iVillage, but I do miss Lana’s posts!
I could probably read more there – but not letting myself into the iVillage due to an increase procrastination, which I am sure it would cause!
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So much OMM at the moment – let’s bullet point it up….
1) I love it when I see on twitter an open question sent out to the twitterverse that is food related…..and I love it more when I know the answer This has been happening lots lately and i just get such a great sense of satisfaction from answering the questions / helping the peeps out. Sure they could google the answer but I just love how twitter is so interactive like that. I think it’s these kinds of experiences that bring a really “human” element to “all of this modern social media stuff” (spoken in the voice of anti-technology 500 year old great aunt)
2) My point above had started me thinking about creating a section of my blog where people can “ask Phoodie” a question. Kind of like when Mia did the “Ask Mia” videos (where have they done!? maybe not so popular?! I loved them!) Anyway, SOMETHING like that, whether its an hour during the day where I sit on FB and twitter and answer questions that way or whether people email them in and I answer 20 of them in one quick video….not sure….just love the idea of “interacting” more with the people on the other side of the screen….
3) My son hurt his hand this am and I had to take him to get an XRAY. My heart tore into a million pieces (he’s 100% fine by the way). It was just another one of those moments where i thought “far OUT, this motherhood gig is bloody tough”. It’s just SUCH an emotional ROLLERCOASTER and being an emotional person sometimes i think “why didn’t i realise how hard this would be before having kids?!” Not to say that i wouldn’t do it again, knowing what it’s like, I ABSOLUTELY would do it again a million times over, but maybe I could be a little more prepared……or maybe not……actually don’t think anything can prepare you…..
4) I feel a little “Stretched” or ….hmmmmm….. can’t think of the word…. “over extended”…..basically I think I have bitten off more than I can chew at the moment…..I’m working on various projects that are really exciting plus caring full time for 2 under 2 and there are days when I wonder “what was I thinking taking all of these things on right now?!?!!!” But then I think “ok then, what should I have said ‘no’ to?” and I can’t think of anything!!! So I power on……
5) A head cold has been living within me for a week now and I want to kill it in every way!
Don’t even know if i have written a word of sense……
WEEPING tears of sadness that my sense of taste has gone too…. COME BACKKKKKKK……
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Commiserations to you all. I have also had bad PMT too. In fact it seems to get worse as I get older. Plus my daughter and I are now in sync with our monthly cycles. Pity my poor husband and son.
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OMM: my tax return came back – WOOT! credit card paid off yaay!
…and now to congratulate myself for reassigning that money + sacrificing some savings at the same time to pay off the card totally….
I want to get an ereader to save my sore shoulder from lugging massive books around in my handbag; and also for a trip later this year, so half my bag isn’t reading material…..but which to get?
I’m tossing up between kindle and kobo touch…leaning towards kobo touch because
a) page turn on kindle seems excessively annoying with it’s ‘negative flash’. Kobo seems quicker. and
b) from what I’ve heard, the kindle is tied to amazon ie the book formats it will play are only those sold by amazon? is that right? whereas kobo seems to work with standard generic formats……but then kindle will play mp3/audiobooks…..
has anyone tried both? any recommendations? any to avoid?? please help!
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Haven’t used the kobo but my kindle is the BOMB! And if you get the 3G one it’s like having unlimitd internet and you DONT HAVE TO PAY!
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Kindle is the only way to go. Make sure it has 3G
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OMM: the silent treatment. Is it ever a useful and effective way to prove a poin?. I have been a needy friend of late, I think, and am getting the silent treatment from a friend for a week and a half now. I have apologised, responded with humour, and acted as I normally would (i.e. text or call as normal). With no reciprocation. Silence. I know I deserve better and should just invest in friends that care for me. But anyone that uses the silent treatment. Why do use it? What annoys you most about the other person that makes you dish it out? And is there any way to recover from the silent treatment? Thanks MMers.
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Sorry to hear this – It can be very frustrating.
I used to “give” the silent treatment a lot. Not sure why – perhaps it felt like a great punishment and it may appear so much easier than talking about it and solving any issues.
Thinking about it, my whole family actually use that strategy, so I assume it it has been a natural part of my upbringing unfortunately!
My current boy friend hates it (and his sister still does it regularly actually), but we worked through it during the first couple of years of our relationship. Luckily he was SO patient and his strategy was to just sit down and keep talking about what ever issue we had in sensible word and without getting angry. Eventually I would get SO tired of listening to him babbling on and on, that I would give in and we would talk about it instead. So now we go straight into talking instead of starting of with the “game of silence”
I don’t use the silent treatment anymore and feel sorry for people, who do (including my SIL, her boy friend + my own family). I think you spend more energy not solving issues, than you do “making up”.
Hope you and your friend can recover from this!
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper. I think you are right that it causes more stress than just making up. Hope your family learn how ineffective silent treatment is too. Thanks again.
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Oh, this is just so immature. How much of a friend is this person? Has this ever happened before?
People use the silent treatment because they are passive-agressive and controlling.
You sound lovely – and you’ve tried to make amends. Cut them loose.
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Thanks Kathy, you sound lovely too
! Never before to me, but yes to others. I dont think my behaviour has been perfect. But you are right I need to now give space. Thanks.
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Maybe she just needs some time out from you? I sometimes get like that when a friend has been particularly needy. Once the drama has passed I’ll step back for a while for some breathing space. Give it some time.
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Thanks MissNeriss. That’s the current strategy. To give space. Thanks for letting me know that’s what you needed from your friend.
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Totally random post here….. we need a good cabinet-maker in Perth for a kitchen reno, any suggestions Perth MMers?
OMM: Clearly, the kitchen reno….
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Benchmark cabinets are brilliant. I carry their card around because I love telling people how good they are. Number is 9371 0499. I can send pics of mine if you know how to exchange email addresses?
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Thanks heaps Jenomi! I’ll check them out
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Alternative Kitchens in Malaga!
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