This is my first ever post as a bona fide member of the Mamamia Editorial Team. I’ve been a contributor and a commenter for years so it’s more than a bit exciting to have my own @mamamia email address (even though my actual address remains in Brisbane). I’m a bit shocked and awed at the pace of things behind the scenes. It’s a bit like when you’ve had a baby – you’d read the books, planned, dreamed, thought you knew how it all worked and then, BANG! NO ONE TOLD ME IT WOULD BE THIS CRAZY. The non-stoppedness is astonishing. But so fascinating. Although I’ve never really stopped working, I haven’t had an actual job for years (interestingly, the last one I had was at an ad agency and Mia was my client) so this is a big leap.
I always celebrated a new job by buying myself a new teacup. There’s a pic in the gallery of the one that marks this job.
Also OMM (On My Mind) is moving house. My desk is surrounded by growing towers of boxes. This is exciting, if unsettling and a big diversion from what we’d planned. I’d thought our place would be home for 20 years. We designed it when the children were small – it’s all open plan and I used to scoff at rumpus rooms and parents retreats because I wanted, ‘to see and hear what the kids are up to all the time.’ Now, I actively don’t want to know. GIVE ME A RUMPUS ROOM.
Despite the chaos and the steepest of steep learning curves, I’m buzzing. I love change; it’s the surest sign of life. Speaking of buzzing, check out the behind the scenes of MM this week:

Mia mixes Easton Pearson skirt, Rag & Bone shoes, and Dotti jacket.
Any changes happening in your world? What’s on your mind? Feel free to discuss anything and everything!






Comments
150 Comments so far
Really fascinating points you might have noted , regards for putting up. {tory burch outlet store|tory burch outlet|tory burch
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I liked these Open Posts a lot more when they had more little oddities about the MamaMia office, not everyone’s daily outfits (Rick’s outfit is an exception in this case, because it is exceptional!)
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Interesting point. We’ve been mixing it up a bit lately. What does everyone want to see in Open Post from us?
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Motion seconded! I liked seeing the mamamia office because it is so funky and relaxed! (I work for a bank, not so much colour in our office!) Same with the best and worst section, I liked hearing your best & worsts
we can read about other readers’ best & worsts etc on the comments part
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Great Kate! Love your work.
OMM “Man Flu”. My 10 year old son had a classic case yesterday. “Mum, am I going to die?” “No darling, you’ve got a cold. You are going to feel better tomorrow.” Husband in panic mode “You need to go to the chemist and get him something!” And now I am tired and cranky having spent half of last night nursing the boy through his “man flu”.
Meanwhile my 13 year old daughter had the same cold days earlier and just soldiered through it. Even came up with her own “sweat it out” remedy.
First world problem extraordinaire … planning a trip to Italy later in the year. Has anyone stayed in a nice “agriturismo” in Tuscany that they can recommend? We want an apartment for a week as a base to tour the region. Sigh.
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OMM: missing having my mum and dad around all the time. They only live 5hours away but I get so envious of my friends who live around the corner from their parents and can pop over for a cup of tea whenever they choose, or those I see out shopping with their mum
Also a little bit bored with work and the social life ATM! Trying to have quiet weekends to save for my Europe trip in September (so I know it’ll be worth it!) but a little bit over staying in on the weekends and then returning to a job I’m not entirely content with! Totally FWP I know but still on my mind all the less!!!
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Can you just do cheap things on the weekend instead of nothing. I hate staying in on the weekends so even when I’m feeling poor ill do a cheap dinner with friends before they go out so I at least feel like I’ve done something? Or organise a night in with wine and movies?
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Hey Kate – congrats!!
Love the idea of new job new teacup. I bought myself one just for the office that has my first intial on it and it never goes wandering
Life has its colour back for me, after a pretty crap week and a half. Ended things with funny new man in such a sudden way that it really ached. Then found out one of my beautiful school friends whome we thought was kicking cancer’s arse, lost the battle. So I had a little wallow, had my beautiful friends come over and help clean my house, let me cry and indulge me in a sulk.
They also took me out singing and dancing. Kareoke and a dance are the cheapest forms of therapy. Funny new bloke turned up at the same club I went to to see the same bands – totally made sense. We have hellish amounts in common. But because things were raw we studiously avoided each other, until my gf had a few sherbets and was invading his personal space in the bar queue. It was funny and excrutiating all at once! (Especially as she is a School Principal lol).
Long story short – I lamented that we couldnt even be at the same place without even saying hello, and after 16 hours of talking and making up all in one day – marathon much?! – we are in a much better, happier place and realising that there was a ridiculous amount of good, and that our pasts belong in the past.
And today is my birthday. Spoke to my eldest who is interstate studying on the phone while I opened everyone’s gifts, was made brekkie in bed and just generally marvelled at how much happy there really is in my world.
Have a spectacular week, MMers x
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Belated Happy Birthday Haven Maven! I hope the whole day was as happy as it’s beginning.
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Tomorrow is my last day before maternity leave!!! I’m so very excited and a little nervous as it means bub’s arrival is just that little bit closer……
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OMM: I’m loving have rediscovered the joys of music! I spent so much dosh at JB Hi Fi and although I couldn’t really afford it, I’m so happy that I did!
OMM2: My nana who i haven’t seen in about 13 years is coming back to Australia and arrives on Sunday. I can’t wait to see her and have bought her a Humphrey B Bear stuffed toy because we used to watch it together so she could learn english!
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I’m enjoying getting back to things I used to love doing.
I’ve written some articles for the website Kiki & Tea, and attended a singing workshop this week which was lots of fun. I realised it had been a while since I pursued my interests instead of doing mum-related stuff. So easy to spend all your time doing stuff you have to do and forgetting about looking after yourself as well.
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Good luck in the new role, Kate. Can’t wait to read more of your stories. Best of luck with the house move as well.
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Haha, I love that in the photo of Rick in his space-suit, Mia doesn’t seem weirded-out at all. Just another day at the office!
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OMM: My baby (first) is due in 4 weeks and has no name! eek!
Who knew it would be so hard to choose a name.
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I’m in the exact same boat – due in 4wks, no real names picked out!
I find it daunting in same ways as they’re stuck with the name for at least 18yrs. What if they hate it. What if I hate it after awhile? Lol
Good luck! I’m sure we’ll both know exactly what to call our bubs when we see them
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Well done Kate! I agree, change is the surest sign of life – gotta embrace it.
And I love teacups. I like the dainty china variety, nothing nicer than the clink of a teacup in a saucer..ahh. Not a big-mugs kinda girl (that was big Mugs).
Anyhow. I’m off to the doctor this morning to say “Um, I’m 10 weeks pregant. Now what?” Its my 3rd. I’m 1 part excited to 2 parts nausea and hoping those ratios will change!
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I have been on a self imposed exile from mamamia for a while (was in here too much and it was doing my head in for a few reasons).
OMM today though – what do people think of the Aldi laptops? I am trying to decide between the new Aldi one coming out on Saturday or a dell one that is on a big special. The aldi one is cheaper and I am trying to decide whether I want to spend the extra and get the other one or just go for the aldi one. Any help/ experiences anyone can help with please?? Any postitive/ negatives that people want to contribute?
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Welcome back!
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Maybe go onto one of the tech sites which review computers, such as Whirlpool & ZDnet. Put a post up and lots of people who are very tech savvy will reply. I have always found Aldi products to be very high quality & have a good warranty.
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Welcome Kate. Always love your writing. Looking forward to reading lots more from you.
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Well you hardly need a welcome Kate but thought I’d wave hello!!
New starts can be so inspiring!! Xx
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Thanks Rose! All welcomes welcome.
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I think I may be pregnant!
I’m too scared to test!
Haven’t been married long and financially don’t know how we’d cope!
Actually spent today with some super cute babies today which was nice.
Holy moly WHY CAN I NEVER REMEMBER TO TAKE MY FREAKIN PILL!
Might have to make some big decisions & changes soon
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Oopsy, happy accident
Enjoy!!!
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KT – you rock! xoxoxo
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Congrats Kate!
OMM: Danielle Spencer’s elongated legs in the latest Who magazine. Did anyone else notice it? I know she’s normally petite and tiny. PhotoShop overkill!
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Yes!!
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I want a selk suit! And a chocolate strawberry cake!
Welcome Kate! I must admit, you have been contributing so long that I always thought you worked at MM! Good luck with that Post-It wall.
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OMM : I have enjoyed MM for a few years now. I sometimes post, but mostly read insightful responses from the greater MM family.
I have noticed in recents months the style of responses from a lot of the community to be harsh, snarky and full of vitriol. I by no means feel we should all agree on topics and only post in favour of said topics. I like a broad cross section of attitudes. But I don’t enjoy reading the personal attacks on people for their input, whether that be the author of the post or guests in the forum.
Surely the community can put an opposing view forward without the need to be insulting. If I feel strong enough to add a comment, I always try to word it about the topic rather than about the individual who posted.
I was recently on the receiving end of a response that was opposed to what I had posted. The topic was very emotive, and my comments were in relation to a conversation I had had with a friend…..what I wrote were her comments and I said so in my response……still, the depth of hate I felt towards myself was huge, and intimidating…..intimidating in that I was left feeling I would never respond again on this site………. I am sure I am not alone with feeling like this.
It is so sad, as I have really enjoyed this site. May I suggest those of you who are ” tired of the same old same old ” and feel the need to attack people for their input, simply unsubscribe.
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Thanks for sharing that. We hear you. Xxx
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I hear you Anon. I’ve been attacked on here, but tried not to let it get to me. I’ve always thought, oh well, this story will just scroll down the page and no-one will remember next week.
Just don’t get me started on public school vs private….
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Hey Anon. I think we have to keep it in perspective. Yes sometimes things get a little heated and a bit agro around here, but have you seen the comments on some of the articles on the major news websites? Lordy! They make the nastiest MM comments seems pretty mild. I think on the whole this is a lovely community.
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But just because it’s worse somewhere else doesn’t make it okay or any less bad here.
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I think a lot of us have experienced this, really unnecessary criticism, judgmental responses and just plain meanness. There’s been so much of it especially lately, well that I’ve noticed. And it’s very offputing (sp?). Especially when people are going through stuff they don’t need to be judged and criticised for it.
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Oh I agree too!!! Lots of negative has made me log off more often
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On my mind.. I’m so over my job right now. I feel like I am stuck in a huge rut and I don’t know what to do about it. For the last year or so I have been feeling vaguely unhappy but now it’s to the point where I actively dislike going to work. I hate the politics there, I don’t enjoy the actual work anymore, and I want to do something different.
But I don’t really want to go back to uni, and I don’t have any other solid ideas of something else that I’d like and be good at anyway. I currently work as a nurse, and it’s important to me that my job be something that helps people and makes a difference. But what.. what..
Heeeeelp meeeeeee!
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How about an occupational nurse? or retraining as a paramedic? or working in the community?
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Unfortunately If you stick to nursing it will require uni, but even going to uni while still in your current job may make you feel more positive if you’re actually doing something new.
Community health is a lot different to hospital. Some places you may be able to go into before you start any other training.
NGOs hire nurses too.
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What about a nurse educator, while not working in the hospital environment you are still teaching those who are and thats making a difference.
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Community nursing saved my sanity when I was burnt out after 10yrs of hospital work. I knew it was time to make a change, when having a car accident was preferable to arriving at work in one piece!
I’ve been a community nurse now for 10 years and still love it – I think it’s the lack of call bells and the freedom, that has made all the difference.
All the best
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Thank you everyone
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Congratulations Kate, I love your work on Mamamia and you look like you’re an excellent addition to the team.
Following on from my posts on the best and worst of the week, definitely have met the man of my dreams. Its now been five days and it has been the best five days of my life. First date went amazingly the night after we met. Saw him yesterday and it was perfect. Everything is moving quite quickly (contrary to what I read in Textbook Romance) but it feels so right. Met his mum and dad and brother last night and it felt so right. No awkward silence, lots of laughs and I apparently fit right in. He is meeting my sister and her long term boyfriend tonight. Is it possible for it to be love at first sight?
Just also wanted to say what a great site Mamamia is at the moment, love the posts and love the contributors. Love seeing the gallery pop up in the middle of the week and end of the week. Loved Lauren’s article on the ANZACs this morning, brought a tear to my eye!!
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Yay for you Pocket! Really happy for you.
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Mia and the team know writing talent when they see it. Congratulations buddy. Thrilled for you. xx
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Kate, I am so excited for you!! Congratulations on the new role, I love, love, love how you write and really look forward to your work with MM. xx shanks
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Hey duck4! It’s writers like you that make MM one of a kind x
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oops forgot to write Congratulations Kate!!! Fabulous choice by Mamamia I have always enjoyed your contributions and comments!
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Anyone know how I can read this site using the mobile version? Ta
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Kez, mobile mamamia is undergoing some TLC from our tech team to make it faster and easier to view galleries etc. It’ll be back soon.
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Haha love that you wrote “our tech team”. How good does it feel to write that
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Thanks Kate. Ps loved your post.
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Mia I love that you also use the 2 packet stack of A4 paper for your laptop on your desk….. when will somebody invent and market a chic laptop stand!
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My laptop stand is not chic but it is practical. Cost about $8 from the cheap shop, it is black, I can rotate my laptop and raise it to seven different heights.
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and probably safer than putting a laptop on paper reams
laptops get hot
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Is it just me or does Rick resemble a very cute Lego man in his Selk bag? looks super warm though
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I spent so much time around Lego as a kid I suspect I might be. Look at my claw hand!
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Have just read that they have found cases of Mad Cow disease in California.
Those crazy Kardashians !
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FWP I know, but OMM is sick of nausea and vomiting! 31 weeks pregnant today with 26 weeks of ‘all day morning sickness’.
feelg so guilty for my toddler who has to be looked after by others and my partner who has to do EVERYTHING.
I know I can’t help it, but still feel bad.
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Everyone else doing “everything” (which I’m sure isn’t actually true, its probably the guilt talking), will make up for after the bub is born and you don’t ever feel as though you have a moment to yourself!
Rest up and cut yourself some slack! xx
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I feel your pain. 37 weeks today and I was nausated pretty much from the moment of conception til 34 weeks. Then it was replaced by heartburn…Hang in there.
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thanks guys
anon, I have new hope now for 34 weeks. is it wishful thinking or it’s heartburn ‘ better’ than nausea?
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Hang in there Shan.
I’m on the other side now but it is terrible. I did nothing for my family for nine months and four months later I’m still enjoying being able to be useful again!
Hang in there.
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oh wow dee, you had the full 9 months? that’s what I fear I am in for…..
thanks for the support
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Hearing you Shan! I’ve been grumbling a lot about the all-day nausea.. and I’m only 10 weeks. Agree with othe rposters, cut yourself some slack, seriously. Feeling nauseous that long would demoralise the toughest of us xx
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Welcome Kate – am sure you will be great addition to the team!
Love the pics of all the staff in their fashionable clothes, but you must have warm air-con. I would FREEZE in those outfits in my office (and in the train on the way to work!)
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Congrats Kate. LOVE your writing. Can’t wait to see more of it around here. x
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Congrats on the job, Kate! Well deserved:)
OMM – my grandfather, who is 91, has been taken to palliative care. The carers at his nursing home spoke to me about him being comfortable and free of pain and the hospital talked to me about communion. It was my first adult conversation I’ve had I guess. My parents are there for him. I feel strange, waiting I guess. He and I aren’t close at all and I don’t know how I’m
Supposed to feel. I know the way society expects me to feel, but I don’t. And I feel guilty for that.
And another OMM – a friend told me he is disappointed and hurt by something I said to him two weeks ago. He told me I’m a hypocrite given that I made a thoughtless remark – forgetting his disability I guess – And now I am questioning my role as an advocate. I did apologise by calling him and leaving a message on his voicemail, inviting him to call back to Talk it through but I’ve not heard from him.
I’ll be ok
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Thanks Carly, and you too, Karli below x
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Congratulations Kate! I look forward to reading more of your posts. And goodluck with your move!!
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Am beginning to feel overwhelmed by the sex of our unborn baby. What I mean is my husband & I don’t agree on if we should find out the gender or not in a few weeks, He wants to, I’m not sure. This is our last baby (#3) and I feel like its my last chance to have a surprise. We found out with our first two.
As we are announcing our pregnancy it’s the first question I get asked. Followed by “are you going for a girl” or “it would be nice for you to have a girl” (we have two sons) I’m feeling alot of pressure to have a daughter. Then I worry if we do find out, as much as I would be happy with a third son, I’m scared of feeling disappointment. It sounds so silly I know!
I guess this is a big deal for me. I’m having weird dreams about the gender too – very vivid & strange, IE: last night I dreamt we were at the ultrasound & the sonographer gave us a shoebox. Inside contained either a blue chux (household kitchen wipe) or a pink one. Ours had a blue wipe then when we lifted it up, there was a pink wipe…..Go figure.
Can anyone relate to this?
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I really like your pregnancy dream. It seems to symbolise the unknown gender of your child, and your subconcious seems to think that baby = cleaning, which is obviously true! As well as perhaps fragility? It reminds me of one I had when I had found out that I was pregnant with my son when we found out he was going to be a boy. I dreamt that I gave birth and then there he was, a tiny baby with my partner’s huge head, complete with big teeth and bushy eyebrows. Took me a long time to get that image out of my head!
Maybe if it’s something you are worrying about it would be better to find out, so you can deal with it sooner rather than later? Having said that, I know a couple with two sons who are pregnant with their third and not finding out, as a way to show the world that they don’t care about the sex; they are not hoping for a girl or boy, just hoping for a healthy baby. For myself when asked the question of whether I would prefer a girl or boy, I guess I came to the conclusion that gender doesn’t really matter as they will always be completely unique no matter what. The main reason we found out for our 2nd baby and not our first, was because I thought my first was going to be a boy, and I was little disappointed that I was wrong.. (not disappointed that she was a girl, just that all my gut instincts had been completely off.)
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I can relate to it. I have 3 boys and I found out for all of them. I would have picked a girl if I could for the last one (though I didn’t have the third just because I wanted one) and I knew that there would be a little bit of disappointment at a boy. The reason I found out is that I wanted time to get over that initial disappointment and then just be excited about having a boy before the actual baby arrived. But everyone’s different and it’s only a decision you can make.
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Don’t worry too much about the ‘girl or boy’ questions – I think that people are just trying to make conversation more than anything when they ask that.
We just had the scan on our second and didn’t find out, we didn’t find out the first time either, but I get the impression people think we would find out this time.
So when people ask what it is I just say, well, we don’t know the sex, but we did find out that it has my nose! And that flips the discussion to funny scan stories and the merits of different noses and the rest is forgotten about.
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Really relate to this. I’m pregnant with number 3 and have 2 girls. We didn’t find out the gender either time, but I will with this one just to ‘prepare’ myself. I feel family and friends will be ever so slightly disappointed if its another girl..especially as all the other grandkids are girls too. Can’t help feeling a little pressure. It may be silly, but I’m guessing its perfectly normal to feel this way.
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i think you have a surprise either way, if you go for finding out the sex during the scan, the surprise is just earlier… that’s how we felt with both my boys pregnancies. i also liked the fact that we knew who was coming into our lives and chose a name and talked to the baby all the time using his name.
i can’t help but feel angry when people come and say to me “oh, are you going to try for a girl?” why, why???
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Thanks MMers for your comments. They have been helpful. I thought I’d get crucified by some people for feeling the way I do, so thank you for sharing your experiences…..
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OMM: In two weeks I start my first teaching prac for my teaching degree. I am stoked that I got placed in a high school that is close to my daycare, however I looked up my mentor teacher on the school website and he teaches chemistry and physics. The two parts of science I have no clue about. I am dreading it. The kids are going to eat me alive! Deep breaths and lots of positive self talk are the only thing that are going to get me through this 5 week stint.
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You’ll be fine!
As a teacher here are my tips:
- take/steal as many resources as you can
- observe as many different classes and teachers as you can.
- the kids won’t go feral with their teacher in the room.
- keep asking him ‘what do you recommend/can you suggest’ so that you are teaching the class to his liking. If you’re unsure about him, stick to his style.You can go crazy and experiment when you have your own classes.
- make sure you know your stuff. being one step ahead of the kids is enough. If they ask you a question and you aren’t sure, tell them that you’ll look into it, or if they are being a smart arse, suggest that they research the topic and let you all know next lesson
Good luck!
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I’d assume they’d place you in an area you are familiar with? Otherwise it’s way too much stress for you to learn, not to mention the quality of teaching wouldn’t be to great – so how would the students learn? (not your fault, just bothers me how placement works)
A friend of mine is in the same boat, and she has to teach an area of history she has no idea about. Seems like a total waste of talent!
all the best tho, sure you’d be great and hope the teacher is supportive.
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Thankyou for the great advise, I was hoping a teacher would read this and sooth my worries. I am so excited about putting into practice all this theory i’ve been learning. Was just scared it would be over shadowed by me not having a solid grasp on the syllabus. Thanks for the tips.
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He probably specialises in those subjects in the senior school, but most of his classes would be in the junior school where it is general science, and you will have to teach whatever subject is on the plan.
I also had a teacher who was my ‘mentor’, but ended up being in a number of different classes based on what was happening in the classes at the time.
Being a good teacher is about the skills you have, that you can transfer to a range of topics. I have taught a long way out of area for much of my career. I am trained as a high school English/history teacher, and have taught Maths, PD/H/PE, Geography and now teach in a primary Special School (which I LOVE more than anything). You will be fine!
Have fun. Ditto on the collect resources and watch lots of different teachers in your lessons off.
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Thanks for the advise. I am very excited about getting in and having a go, putting into practice what I have learnt. I guess I just hoped that my very first prac would be in a subject area I felt confident in. But like you said, I also have teacher friends who are teaching outside their KLA’s. If you are good teacher you can teach anything, and I hope to be one of those.
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I feel a bit pathetic asking this, but: I’m going overseas for the first time in a few weeks… what kind of cool stuff can I buy duty free?
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Don’t buy a camera. You’ll find them much cheaper at a Teds Camera & Video. I paid about $100 more by waiting till I got to the airport, and by that point I just had to buy one. I wish I’d bought one of the one’s I’d researched earlier.
Have fun!
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Do they still do the GST refund at the airport? If so, better to buy your cheaper camera (or whatever else you want to take on the trip) less than 30 days prior to departure, take the receipt and item to the GST refund desk and get your GST refunded
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They sure do!
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From my limited experience, online shopping is so cheap now that Duty Free isn’t the amazing bargain it used to be back in the day.
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Can I ask what kind of stuff do you buy online and what sites? I’m not really interested in buying clothes online but other stuff I’d love to know where to go online. Thanks.
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I am a member of a few websites that send me email updates on sales. They are Ozsales.com Brands Exclusive, and Livingexclusive.com which is a great homewares site with great bargains. Ebay is also my first port of call for anything I want to buy. I bought an iPhone charger the other day from hong Kong on ebay for $3 delivered!!! It was $24 at the phone shop.
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Thanks so much! Yes I love Ebay too.
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Buy the big stuff beforehand and get the tax back when you leave!
Just make sure;
- you spent over $300 in one transaction
- it’s all in your hand luggage with the reciepts
- you bought it less than 30 days before you leave
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Alcohol was really cheap last year when i went to Bali, but if your going to the states i think its even cheaper over there. We bought it before we left Aus, then pick it up on the way back through so it was a quick pick up when ur desperate to get out and get home.
Have a good trip.
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Yes – alcohol, agreed. Definitely buy it on the way out to pick up when you come home. Other than that, there isn’t really much that is worth buying DF anymore what with the interweb and all it’s bargains…
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But you can buy it IN Bali/US or wherever and bring it back in your luggage with the same 2.25L allowance for waaaaay less! Australian duty free isn’t much better than a special at the bottle shop
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OMM: My son has just started daycare after being at home with me for his first 18 months. He loved it for the first month so I thought nothing of going back to work for the 3 days that he is at daycare.
He has never had a problem with being separated from me and never been a clingy baby. In the last 3 weeks, he has gotten progressively upset each morning that I drop him off and won’t allow me to let go of him. It makes for a very upsetting morning drop off for both of us.
The teachers are telling me it is because I am 5 months pregnant and he can sense that things are going to change in the household soon. I think that he isn’t himself because for the last month has been stuck down with digestive problems, conjunctivitis, viral cold and very bad cough (basically childcare curse). He has also gone off his food and will only eat fruit or anything else sweet.
Anyone have something similar? Please tell me it is a phase that he is going through and it will pass!
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Newbie, firstly I question that your son is sensing your pregnancy. I can’t help but sense something not quite right in that comment. Listen to your gut and don’t ignore your instincts if you sense things aren’t as they should be. Yes, he’s been unwell and it is a big change but he can’t communicate his feelings with words. He’s crying, he wants his mum – that is a massive thing for a baby. Just make sure that that is all that’s going on. The comment they made about your pregnancy sounds patronising and a bit ‘taking you for a fool.’ Hope I’m wrong. All the best.
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I too think that it was an odd thing for them to say.
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My daughter was great the first few weeks of daycare too, but then went to crying every time. The teachers told me it is very normal, the novelty has worn off and now they realise that this is a permanent change and they dig their heels in a bit. It took my daughter another 2 months or so to get back into being ok at being left. I’m sure he will get better. Its heartbreaking seeing them like that though.
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I had this too with my eldest. I found that saying goodbye quickly and getting one of the staff to “distract” her worked the best. Like Linda said find out how quickly she settles.
You can tell if it’s something about the childcare. My eldest had a carer that favored her other day care child and she was not only unhappy when I was leaving, but would be miserable on the way there. It got sorted out after I complained about it.
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Find out how quickly he settles after you leave.
One of my boys did this, and then was fine after I left. The longer I stayed and comforted him, the longer the breakdown lasted. I started to leave quickly and now we have no issues.
I also find that if he has a happy wake up he is happy to go, so I try not to make him rush too much…which is hard given I have to get to work.
I also agree that he may be realising that this is now a permanent situation. I think it’s fairly typical behaviour.
Good luck!
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What you describe is very common and nothing to do with being pregnant. That will be different once bub arrives! Children are very ‘in the moment’ and it is not uncommon for them to regress emotionally after being sick. I have seen some children get ‘clingy’ for a few months and especially if they are still not feeling 100%. Their immune systems always get challenged by day care, so you have more sickies than work days when they start Try a pre or probiotic yoghurt to help with tummy and allowing him to bring something from home to day care; either a favourite toy or something of yours to remind him of you.
Other children are also a cause for day care aversion and it could only be one that is upsetting your child. Two year olds are very volatile! This is something he will have to adapt to emotionally with your support. Again this is normal adaptation to a different environment and a key skill that children (and all of us) have to learn. Good luck and I’m sure you will both be fine.
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Thanks for your comments. I live in SE Asia so thinking that it is the new baby could be a cultural or lost in translation issue. My son does stop crying fairly soon after I leave (or hide) so I suppose that is a good sign based on your past experiences. The school has suggested that I put him in for 2 extra half day along with his 3 full days so that he doesn’t have an extended weekend every week with me. I am going with my gut instinct with that one – ah, NO! Time will tell if he calms down once he is over his sickness.
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Congrats on the new job!
Which brings me to…
OMM: I hate my job! Gahhh…
I am marking standardised tests (think NAPLAN). I have marked for the Ed Dept of WA before and actually really enjoyed it, so I thought this would be good, but it’s all on computer (think 4 hours straight of staring at a computer at essays on the same topic), plus the essays are double scored then scored by a master scorer, and you get pulled up if your scores aren’t fitting exactly into the matrix…which makes me wonder what the point of me being there is, if the master scorers are able to get it right themselves!
Oh, and don’t get me started on US minimum wage…$10/hr and that’s well above minimum! I’m getting fortnightly (admittedly part time) paychecks that are 10% of those I used to get from the Ed Dept!
I’ve disliked a job before (had a country post when I first started teaching, but it was the commute and the fact that I wasn’t directly in my subject area that was hard), but now I dread the days I go to work and spend the days in between dreading that they’ll be over and I’ll be back at work.
Sigh…at least there is only a couple of weeks left before they run out of things to be marked, then I get to work the summer in the music library, which I am looking forward to.
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Uhhhh minimum wage in this country sux! People’s eyes nearly pop out of their heads when I tell them what people back home make.
I know how you feel about going to a job you don’t enjoy, it drains your energy! But hang in there, hopefully the time will go back quicker
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Great post Kate and congrats looking forward to reading more from you
As for me, well husband and I had our first year anniversary living in the US on the 21st April. Actually it was the 20th here and we were out with some friends, funnily enough not even realising it was our anniversary until we did realise and decided to turn our outing into a celebration! So of course we had to stay out past midnight so it would officially be the 21st here, and well lots of drinks, which we paid for the next day lol. It was a fun night and I can’t believe it has been one year, but thinking of that also makes me sad since I haven’t seen my family for that long, except my older sister who I saw in NY for a few days, but even that wasn’t enough!
Just makes me think how much time we have missed with our families.
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I hear you, twin…both the family and the events we keep missing…a part of me feels guilty for missing ANZAC day – I play in the Claremont service every year (have done for about 7 years), and it feels odd to not have a way to commemorate.
Our anniversary is next Monday…but we will be too busy to do much about it until the end of the week (=end of semester!!)
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It’s hard isn’t it. I know this a good experience for us and everyone keeps telling us that, but it’s still hard knowing we are so far away from our families.
Well better late than never for celebrating
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I lived abroad for five years – left Aus in my late 20s and arrived back early 30s. Had fantastic adventures, travelled, met amazing people, fell in (and ultimately out) of love… now I’ve just turned 40 and I look back and think *wow*. What an amazing time. Being away made me realise just how much I value my family and friends – just how lucky we are here. Live it up, have a blast, and remember your family will always be there (or here!) for you. There’s a lot of truth in the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder
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Congrats, Kate. Looking forward to future reads. Good luck with the move.
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Massive Congratulations Kate. I ALWAYS make sure to read anything that ever has your name to it as it ALWAYS makes me think/laugh out loud/nod head in earnest agreement. I think it’d probably read you shopping list if it had your by-line next to it
So I am very pleased you are now an official MMer.
Good Luck with all that is new and wonderful in your life-and of course everything that is old and wonderful
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Thanks Bride Body!
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Changes? What’s on my mind? Here goes:
I think my 3.5 yr old has aspergers. I’ve been concerned about his behaviour and the other night the penny dropped.
My husband doesn’t quite see it. Why? Well the penny’s dropped there too: he has it as well. It explains a myriad of behaviour, limited social skills & stories from his childhood.
And I reckon that if my head wasn’t about to explode, I’d find that my father in law has it too.
Aspergers has only been diagnosed since 1994. No wonder it wasn’t picked up in hubby. But how do I explain odd behaviour in my son, to a man that has a similarly wired brain.
My son is a twin. His brother is a lot like me… I can even begin to imagine what happens next and the implications of this on everything.
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Sorry to hear that Explosion, sounds like a very hard time for you. I guess the best thing to do now is find a good GP who you trust, and who can also help explain the situation to your husband, and offer him any help that he may need as well as your son. And remember the implications for your son may not be too severe, I know a couple of adults with Aspergers, both of whom have jobs and relationships, and live relatively normal lives. Let us know how it goes, all the best.
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Oh gee, now I’m tearing up. My son-in-law’s brother and uncles have aspergers and I’m sure that he does too. My daughter gets annoyed at him but can’t see it and is ignoring the risk of her future children having it as well. I know it’s not the end of the world but life can be tough. I’m sooo sorry for you, I know how worrying EVERYTHING is for mothers. Early intervention is essential so you’ll need a diagnosis and medical guidance and remember that your husband is leading a fulfilling life with a supportive wife and beautiful children. All the very best to you, Explosion xx
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Get to a GP ASAP, and get a referrals- to a paediatrician, to other services-Speech Therapy, OT etc etc.
It is probably worth speaking to your child and family health centre at Community Health, my mum used to work as the nurse there, and was very involved in the local Early Intervention program, and they often have more of a working knowledge of the issues.
The better, and the more early intervention you get the better!
Good luck!
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thanks for your comments.
We have a Maternal and child health nurse check next week, so I won’t be doing anything till then, other than observing and recording.
I have spoken to my sister who sees kids who have this in her job. Her initial response was no way, until I started mentioning a few of the more subtle behaviours that she wouldn’t necessarily see/notice.
I’m starting to feel very grateful for a few things: he has a twin to model his behaviour on. We rarely watch TV. He never uses electronic equipment and has always had a very social & intractive lifestyle. We have also often pushed him (I know that sounds harsh) to do tasks, use manners etc that he has initially resisted, so over time he has already learned social behaviours because of my insistance.
I guess we’ll see what happens next…
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Hi Explosion
I can party understand you. My niece was diagnosed with Asperger’s 2 yrs ago at age 4 by the kindy director. We knew that my niece had some different types of behaviours eg., very shy socially, no interaction with my child and rocking/flapping, and some intense tantrums. Her dad (my BIL) most likely has it too – realised after having my niece diagnosed. It hit my sister very hard initially with all sort of emotions. The best thing that has happened looking back is getting the formal ‘diagnosis’ . There are specific diagnostic criteria which have to be confirmed by 2 x professionals. My niece is being supported by some wonderful people – an OT and psychologist and within the school she attends. We can see improvement in social skills over time. My sister and her family face daily challenges as well as achievements; we have our fears and concerns for the future but are more optimistic that we are not alone in this experience. I hope one day that as a society we can talk and share and be more understanding of the uniqueness of humans.Mama Mia has had some previous posts on ASD’s that I found useful reading peoples stories. I wish you all the best for your family.
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So frustrated lately. I’m a mum to two boys aged almost three and 19mths. In my past life I was organised, a PA to a busy solicitor, could keep track of my life in my head no need for a diary. Now……let me list the ways I am failing miserably. Today being Anzac Day means no shops are open. Late yesterday afternoon realised that today is my MIL’s bday – I have no present. Unfortunately a text msg had to suffice with a promise to visit tomorrow. Took kids to the park this morning, car was almost on fuel light. Panicked that the servo would be shut but luckily it was open because I have to drive half an hour to swimming lessons early tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning I have to start a new month of contraceptive pill packet after a week of period. Of course I don’t have a new packet in the cupboard and going to the Chemist is going to have to wait until after swimming lessons and possibly until after morning sleeps. I have a special multivitamin that I buy from the local health food shop but I know I can get it cheaper online. Month after month I get to the last tablet and just relent and buy it from the local shop as I’m apparently too busy or too lazy to research cheaper alternatives online. I owe a poor friend five bucks and some nappies but I never have cash in my wallet so tomorrow when I see her at swimming will still not have anything to give her. On the other hand I am quite often just at home not doing a lot but trudging through the usual day so I don’t know what is happening. My husband works away at the mines so when he gets home it is all go go go with getting jobs done, going to the gym, supermarket, mowing etc etc etc. Is this just me? I feel like a moron.
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Emmaline, I think you sound like the average, busy wife and mother. We have all been there, done that. Don’t sweat the small stuff, appreciate the everyday smiles and hugs from your children, they grow up so fast. The rest will fall into place, believe me.
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This could be my life, I feel exactly the same, and I too have the same things that just get left till the last minute. I never seem to have cash and feel like a scab when I have to borrow change or can’t put in for an impromptu lunch at the park. I’m always driving around with hardly any petrol.
The one thing that I am least organised with is leaving the house. I put the kids in and then have to come back into the house at least three times for things i’ve forgotten, hats, sunscreen, dummy, toys, drinks, my shoes, my phone, the keys!
It’s not just you, I think it’s everyone, some people just have better ways of hiding it!
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Hi Emmaline,
My youngest is three now so I get a bit more time to myself and, most importantly, sleep and I find I am better organised and can remember what I need to do. I have had a couple of years where I felt like I was just reacting to things (often badly) and never able to get on top of all the life admin/housework/kids stuff etc. When I was really sleep-deprived I lost my keys and wallet constantly, not now. So things will get better as the kids get bigger. I also find a big calendar in the kitchen helps (better for me than a phone one). If your husband is away a lot it is going to make all the usual stuff harder. I found it really helpful to have a group of other parents to vent to and to help relieve the pressure (taking turns babysitting etc, even if just for an hour to get some exercise). And exercise, I find that is the single most important thing I can schedule time for, as one hour’s exercise makes every other hour easier in terms of dealing with stress and feeling positive. Hope I don’t sound like a smug know-it-all, I feel for you because I can remember feeling the same.
Good luck.
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This sounds like me some days…..it’s sooo frustrating as before babies I was super organised & now my head can be a foggy mess some days.
Do you have a friend or relative who can mind the kids for a hour or so so you can get some boring chores done – like go to the ATM or fill the car up with petrol? Anything that makes you feel more on top of things?
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Great news Kate … I’m looking forward to reading your contributions.
Question: Are you a little bit scared of the Great Wall of Post-its? I would be
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Terrified. In a positive way. And as my ‘Wall’ is at home I need to abbreviate some of the notes so they can’t be deciphered by my 9 year old, ‘Mum, why is there a note with ‘Pale Vagina’ on the door?
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I cannot think of a better addition to the MM family. WOO!!!!
PS Nice teacup! Handy because some days it’s so busy you are likely to forget your own name. The K is a good prompter!
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Congratulations Kate! I’ve always loved your contributions so it’s very exciting that you are now part of the team
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Is there another MM Wardrobe Week coming soon? I assumed it would be a weekly post, but haven’t heard anything since the first one. I loved it!
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There most definitely is another one coming soon. Should be next week
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OMM: My trip to America and spending money.
Hello MM-ers, it’s been a while and I hope you’re well.
I need your advice, I am going to America for three weeks in July and plan to go to NY, San Fran, LA, Orlando and Vegas (more or less spending the same time in each place) and I need a rough idea about how much spending money I should take with me.
- I have plans to shop but I am the kind of person who doesn’t really buy anything unless I really love it so sometimes I splurge but not often.
- I’ll mostly buy clothes and makeup (I want to buy a watch too) but they are pretty cheap from my online browsing
- I’m not a gambler (re. Vegas), so I don’t even need to budget for that
- Not buying souvenirs for friends
- We’ve already booked our tours/disneyland/hotels etc so I don’t need to budget for that either.
I just want a rough idea how much money other people took and if it was enough to be comfortable. Cheers.
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I think a $1000 a week will be more than enough.
Have a great time!!!
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I used a NAB credit card (debit card, VISA) that allows you spot-rate foreign currency exchange. Which is fantastic, you can just get it before you leave and cancel it when you come.
I used it all through Asia and Europe with no problems whatsoever.
Anyway, in terms of budget, $1000/week should be plenty, especially since you sound like you have great control and doesn’t splurge!
have an amazing time, the weather should be great in July and most things are much cheaper in the US!
*def not sponsored for the nab shoutout, just thought it’d be useful.
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I think NAB have just changed the structure of that particular card, I was going to get one but it’s no longer very worthwhile.
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No international fees, currency conversion fees: http://www.28degreescard.com.au/ (used to be called Wizard Mastercard but GE Finance rebranded it)
If you do withdraw cash, just make sure you keep the balance in credit, as the interest rate on cash is high!
I used this whilst living overseas for a year and it was fantastic! (Not an employee of the CC, I also just found this card useful, as did the friends I travelled with.)
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Mizzy how exciting! I was in New York and San Francisco for 11 days last month.
Like you, I had already paid for hotels and airport transfers so just needed money for food and shopping. I took $3,000 and I filled a large suitcase so if you are not planning to do heaps of shopping then $3k for 3 weeks should be plenty.
If you are going to San Francisco Alcatraz is a must see. You will need to book your tickets before you go though as it is very busy.
Be prepared to spend a lot of time in airports. I had three internal flights and all of them were delayed for between 1.5 and 4 hours. I don’t think this is unusual and the Americans just seem to accept flight delays as the norm.
Have a great trip!
Jo
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Welcome Kate! You made me laugh – I’ve designed this reno of this house for a young family, small playroom off the lounge and kitchen (can always see and hear etc) but I can see a time in the future when having all our bedrooms together will not be an advantage!
OMM – I went back over the past MM posts on books and gave my credit card and new kindle a belting. We are going away in 2 weeks nad now I feel obliged not to read my top five first, and save them for holidays. The amount of time I’ve spent figuring out what order to read things in is stupid. I can see that there is a reason maternity leave ends at some point!
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What’s your top five, Dee? Booktopia has a no shipping charge until midnight and I am desperate to get some new books!
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Natalia, UKbook depository never charges shipping. I always use them when buying books, great prices too.Just google the website.
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Booktopia is Australian though.
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Thanks, eternally. Supporting Booktopia supports Australian publishers and thus authors, and believe me we need all the help we can get! They often have free shipping periods, so if you subscribe to them (free) they will email you the code, and if you don’t want to pay postage you can hold off your book buying until then. Easy!
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I was very disappointed with Booktopia, very bad service I expeirenced and won’t use them again.
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