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Screen shot 2012 03 14 at 10.15.49 AM 380x509 Open Post: whats on your mind?

Mia met with MM's political reporter Lauren Dubois in the office.

Step right up, it’s Open Post time where absolutely everything is on the table for discussion. It’s like improv class, just see where the moment takes you. Ask a question, flick through the fairly awesome behind the scenes gallery, laugh at some odds and ends or add your own comment in the very Mamamia choose your own adventure. But first, some interesting things this week:

Look ma, I was on television!

Odd socks, a hole in one shoe and I forgot to do my hair. That’s how I do television, which will definitely not surprise anyone who knows me well. I have a terrible habit of not standing on ceremony. Sometimes I even go so far the other way I don’t even stand near it. As a former newspaper journo, my dress sense is usually ‘shabby’ at best.

The show: Mornings on Channel Nine. The mission? To talk on a man panel, the Boy’s Club.

Hold your laughter. I need you to because my friends didn’t. Look, I might not be your regular blokey-bloke but I have manpinions (the plural, my friend Angela told me is ‘menpinion’) and here I am, finally being asked to share them. An injustice in the world has been set right.

The fairly spectacular co-host David Campbell actually set the ball in motion and I went in for a kind of screen-test a little over a month ago to sit on the set and try and say witty, intelligent things which is almost physically impossible when you’re frozen in terror like a big ice block that is terrified.

And then I went on TV and you can see it here but only if you promise not to be mean which will be hard after you see my performance:

Regulating female bodies? Your turn guys.

This is several shades of awesome. Over in yonder America (where talk about contraception and women’s reproductive health is more popular than the tanking economy and the war in Afghanistan), one lawmaker is a bit over it. Why the obsession with ovaries and the uterus? So Ohio State Senator Nina Turner decided to turn the tables by introducing a bill that would require:

“…men to visit a sex therapist, undergo a cardiac stress test, and get their sexual partner to sign a notarized affidavit confirming impotency in order to get a prescription for Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs and … also require men who take the drugs to be continually ‘tested for heart problems, receive counseling about possible side effects and receive information about “pursuing celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.’”

“I certainly want to stand up for men’s health and take this seriously and legislate it the same way mostly men say they want to legislate a woman’s womb,” Turner said. Of course the law will never get up but it’s a nice up yours to the friendly folk right across the country who keep passing bills that require women seeking abortions to have detailed trans-vaginal ultrasounds and descriptions of the foetus read out to them before they make their decision.

Oh, and it’s my 25th birthday tomorrow too

But Lucy stole my thunder on that last week so I’ll just go and have my quarter-life crisis in peace and start planning my six-month long, soul-searching hibernation in a Peruvian cave on my own.

Behind the scenes

Take a look behind Mamamia in this week’s gallery:

Publisher Mia Freedman and writer Lucy were performing their own trech coat-a-polooza this week.

But enough about us, over to you. What’s on your mind?

 

 

Comments

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380 Comments so far

  1. Mum of 2

    I know there will be another open post in just a couple of days but I would really like some ideas on this and thought I’d post in here (really I’m just being Miss Impatient Pants). Please forgive me! :-)

    How much money would you give a child to spend at the Show? I am looking at this as one of those important ‘teaching moments’ opportunities that we get as parents every now and then and would like to give my kids a set amount and then once that is gone there will be no more. The idea is that they will have to work out what to spend their money on carefully, recognising that they won’t have endless funds. The problem is I am having trouble working out my limit!

    The (young, school-aged) kids won’t be expected to buy food or drink for themselves – the money is purely for rides/ showbags. We will probably be there for around 2 hours or so. How much do they need? I’m thinking $25 but have no idea if that is too much or too little (or hopefully just right!). Any suggestions?

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  2. Renee

    I’m single and looking to move from Melbourne to either the Sunshine Coast or Cairns mid year…Depending upon what Uni i get into. What are the good, affordable areas to live in? Is there much of a social/night life scene on the Sunshine Coast? Would i need a car for either location? I’m thinking i might be able to get away without one in Cairns…

    Thanks – R

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    • Hi Renee – you will need a car in Cairns. I’m from up that way originally and the public transport up there is very average.

      The nicest area to live in Cairns is in Edge Hill, in my opinion. It is lovely with lots of Queenslanders and the “Edge” cluster of shops and cafes is very cute.

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    • May!

      I’m originally from Cairns too and age with whipper- you’ll almost definitely need a car the public transport isn’t very, er, commuter friendly. There just isn’t the culture of using public transport like their is in big cities- people really tend to look down on it.

      Edge Hill is nice a nice suburb and close to town, but Redlynch, Freshwater and the northern beaches are all nice too IMO- and slightly closer to JCU too. And compared to Melbourne, the rent all over town will probably seem cheap! I’m in Bris and jealous of my friends cheap rental prices in nice houses right near the beach.

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  3. Haven Maven

    My week has been a complete 180 compare to the past month or so. Had a tarot reading last week that was insanely accurate. She even named my former partner! I’m not usually one to have a reading often – the last one I had was quite unsettling and hugely off. It has made me more comfortable about a few things I have been treading water with, like my business.

    Had my pesky recurring skin cancer off last week. Get the stitches out today and the pathology back. Feeling positive.

    Have met somebody new. Just thought I might date for a bit and have fun, enjoy some company, have a bit of a flirt etc. Just didn’t feel ready for much more. Then along he came. Not my usual type, but if truth be told – he is like me but with a willie! He is a singer too, so we have been having loads of fun singing kareoke and at open mic nights and just jamming songs together. He messaged me throughout the day when I had my surgery last week, then came over that night just to give me a hug. He mowed his lawn the other day, threw his mower in the car and came over and mowed mine! As fate would have it my cherubs met him I guess before we technically should have, but they are getting along like they have known each other for years. Even my pooch loves him! His adult son, with whom he lives, cooked us a fabulous dinner the other night. I just want to pinch myself. It’s crazy, and we make each other’s stomach’s hurt from laughing, but I’m loving it.

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    • Haven Maven

      Oh crap! I forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday, Rick!! Had so much fun at 25. Travelled overseas, had a holiday romance, started my life anew.

      Have a spectacular day, Rickster x

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  4. Swiss

    My sons teacher sent a note home yesterday to say she wants to meet with me. I asked him if he knew what it’s about but he has no idea, he only 7. All I can think is ‘oh no, he’s misbehaving at school’. I hate this sort of thing, I’m a single mum, his dad lives overseas so is useless to help in these situations. Hope it something easily fixed, sometimes I don’t know what more I can do.
    Anyway thats what’s on my mind, I’ll find out this afternoon ( fingers crossed)

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    • Anonymous

      Good luck! My son is 8 and I’ve been invited to go and talk to his teachers a few times. They’ve always been really nice, haven’t come across an unfriendly teacher yet.

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  5. Rick fan

    Happy Birthday Rick! It’s so hard to believe you are only 25!

    OMM: Although I do love your posts on here Rick, I really miss the old original recipe RIck and the “You might want to sit down for this” days. That to me is the real Rick..so much more angry and fiesty and excruciatingly FUNNY. MM appears to have watered you down.

    Please bring back full fat Rick!

    xxx

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    • Rick Morton

      Ha, you’re delightful! But it ain’t MM that watered me down, I just matured in my worldview a little bit! I still pull out the sarcastic feisty occasionally though!

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  6. Charlie's Mama

    My MIL is making me nervous again…. she is extremely emotionally unstable and a bitter woman in general. Ever since I’ve known her she has been trying to implicate me in her issues with her family. All she seems to do when we see/talk to each other is bring up very personal topics relating to her ex-marriage to my hubby’s dad, she says really nasty things about the whole family (who have all cut her out of their lives including her own mother and sister) and always tries to get me to side with her opinions. She can’t move on, is always dwelling on the past and gets angry and vicious with anyone who refuses to listen or take sides. She drinks a lot and calls us at midnight when she is drunk, using emotional blackmail to make us feel guilty about not calling her more often. Her son always returns her calls when he has time but as I see it, she would like to have a much closer relationship with both of us. We have explained to her that the reason we are reluctant is that we don’t feel we should have to listen to the same nasty comments every time, put up with her aggressive behaviour and inconsistent moods. We always come around and try to mend things with her but she falls back into the same pattern every time. I feel like writing to her and letting her know that I would like minimum contact unless she changes but deep down I know she won’t change and I know that if I write such a letter, she will go out of her way to make my life difficult. It saddens me because I understand how one can get bitter after a failed marriage (feeling like they have wasted their lives) but I’m sick of always being the one who “understands” and has to put up with her crap. It saddens me also because all this means she doesn’t get to see our daughter as much as she would if we had a better relationship but again, I feel it is up to her. She came to visit us a few months ago and didn’t drink, was on fairly good behaviour (still slurring about people in the family but I ignored it because she was clearly making san effort)… it went well but she always goes back to her ways….

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  7. Nancy

    Thanks all for your helpful tips and references. I’m glad I logged in and posted for the first time.

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  8. jesspp

    Happy birthday Rick! My 25th was a blast so I hope you have a ball too!

    OMM: I need some advice about a boy. So we met three weeks ago and exchanged numbers and proceeded to text each other constantly for the first week, then we progressed to texts throughout the day and three hour phone calls every night. We spent the weekend together last weekend and it was perfect but then on Sunday morning he woke up and said ‘my heart is telling me that you’re the one but my head isn’t ready for a relationship right now’. I was completely taken aback and ended up leaving his place early for my 6 hour drive home (long distance, country town relationship). The hardest part is we’ve gone from telling each other everything to a text here and there – I haven’t actually spoken to him since Monday and I don’t know what to do!

    He is absolutely fabulous and if I had ever written a list of what I wanted in a guy he would tick every box. Apparentky his last girlfriend was quite a bully and I think he’s afraid of getting into a situation like that again.

    So I guess my question is should I stick around? Does the heart overcome the head?

    Sorry for the rambling post and thanks!!

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    • Sarah

      Hi Jess,

      ‘my heart is telling me that you’re the one but my head isn’t ready for a relationship right now’ is code for ‘i’m just not that into you.’ I would really recommend that you get a copy of the book, it really helped me (the movie doesn’t really convey the message as well). The best thing you can do is back off permanently. I bet he will be in touch again, but you need to stay strong and move on.

      All the best, Sarah x

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      • jesspp

        Thanks Sarah,

        That’s what I was thinking too so I’m laying very low. The book is a really good eye opener and makes so much sense.

        I guess timing is a tricky thing sometimes! It’s be nice if relationships were easy!

        Thanks again xx

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  9. hannahfromsa

    Happy Birthday Rickstar! 25 was my best year yet (although I hope 26 is even better!).
    OMM I’ve lost 10 Kgs over the last 5 months. The problem is (deep breath) that I feel as though I’m verging on ED thinking. I monitor my calorie intake very carefully and find myself wanting to loose more weight (my BMI is currently 22). I don’t want to damage myself. But I do want to maintain the weight loss. How have other MMers done it?

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    • little jojo

      Hi Hannah,

      I would strongly suggest you see your Doctor and have a referral to a psychologist specialising in EDs. If you’re noticing that your thoughts are becoming dangerous (and if you’re closely monitoring your calorie intake, then they probably are) it’s so much easier to put a stop to it now than to try to battle a fully blown ED.

      Another option would be to see a dietitian who has ED experience, they can help you find a balance and guide you in how to maintain your weight loss and healthy body weight.

      Please do something about it now. EDs are so hard to fight once they are fully developed. (and they are NOT a fun or easy way to lose weight)

      little jojo xx

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      • May!

        I agree with little jojo. Good on you for being honest with yourself about this Hannah.

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  10. Susan As Well

    HaPpY bIrTHdAY Rick!

    My son’s hot date last week was ….drum roll… a huge success! I can’t stop smiling and neither can he. Still a little nervous for him but they have been friends for years now so they know each other well. Oooh … feeling just a bit good about this :)

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  11. Rye

    Can I just be a total suck up and say how much I wish I was Mia’s friend? I was talking with some girlfriends about ‘which well known person (not necessarily a celebrity) do you wish you knew in your real life?’ and mine was Mia. You seem like you’d be such a good girlfriend to have.xx

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  12. elle

    Could someone recommend a good therapist/psychologist in Sydney? Thanks

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    • gf

      I find doctors make the best referrals. Plus you may be able to get it on a mental health plan, which makes it significantly cheaper through subsidisation.

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    • Guest

      Doctor’s are usually the best people to make referrals, even if you don’t need the savings of a treatment plan and the free sessions. They are best placed because they can direct you to a therapist that suits your needs. I found when looking for one they are not all alike. Many specialise on certain areas, kinds of people, disorders, strategies (i.e. CBT/Mindfulness). I discovered some therapists are forward focused (seems to be a new trend?). Basically they don’t want to go over your past hurts but focus on helping you live better in the here and now. Suitable for some people, but not for others past traumas that need resolving. A GP is the best starting point.

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    • Susan As Well

      Be careful that the practitioner has legitimate professional qualifications. I have seen some advertising services without any qualifications recently. Such an awful thing to do to vulnerable people seeking help. Grrrr

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  13. rhianna

    Hi everyone…
    I just have a quick question about children/teenagers at the minute. I’m a teacher and I’m finding a lot of kids don’t know how to feel any empathy. I know I’m being awful but a lot of it seems to be boys (sexist much? sorry!), who seem to do something simple without realising how much their actions can hurt others (from fighting each other to Facebook issues to bullying to being generally horrid to each other and staff members)… We have a good and very supportive school culture – it just seems to be a few of the kids, but they’re the ones that we have to ‘deal with’ on a regular (everyday!) basis! I know most will *probably* grow out of it, but I’m really concerned that this generation of teenagers are uncaring, soulless types who will end up causing much damage to our society… :(
    Maybe I’m just having the seventh-week-of-term blues?
    Love Rhi xxxx

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    • Bel

      Hi Rhianna.

      I have a beautiful 14y/o empathic and thoughtful son. He often tells me about the challenging kids at school, but like you said (and he says) there are only a few. Yes they take up your time, but think about the other kids who are thoughtful, kind and have high degrees of emotional intelligence. I find this is the majority.

      We already have people who are soulless types who have caused much damage to the world and that is those responsible for the GFC and gross individualism at great cost to others.

      I’m more concerned about the type of society we are creating for future generations. I have great faith in young people today. It’s the older generation behaviour that I am concerned about.

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    • Haven Maven

      HI Rhianna

      Maybe have a chat to your Principal about what programs around bullying etc are in place.? Sometimes they have incursions that may deal with it? Or perhaps the HSIE area might have something in the curriculum? I thik on the whole the Department seems to have a lot of resources surrounding bullying and the impacts etc. Best of luck – good teachers like you who want to address instead of ignoring these issues are such assets.

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    • Loulee

      Really interested in your comments Rhianna. My 10 year old boy is very sensitive, thoughtful and caring. My 13 year old daughter is also very empathic. Our family is too – my parents, my husband’s parents. I do believe you learn a lot from your family. Perhaps these boys have trouble at home or no strong role models to show them how to care for others? Our kids attend a religious school not for the religion but because there is a strong emphasis on moral guidance and basically teaching children how to be decent people, caring and respecting others. Maybe the school needs to implement some programs for the kids.

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  14. Biggest Loser

    Does anyone else find the naked-lady-with-gun tatt on trainer the Commando offensive or am I getting old and conservative?

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  15. Dee of Adelaide

    I decided to paint the playroom this week just so I could feel like I’d done something at the end of the day. I subsequently realised I have muscles in my bum and calves that have not been used for well over a year. After that I realised that painting (something I love to do) takes a lot longer when you have to put hte playroom back to use every morning after doing it at night and in a room with three doors and lots of windows. Doing all of this in the three days before my in laws arrived from interstate for Red Rockets fourth birthday extravaganza was pure lunacy.

    Do you know what is most sick? I enjoyed the stress and having a deadline.

    My other news is little lad cut his first tooth at 9 weeks. Red Rocket was 14 weeks and I was apparently 12 weeks old. What kind of freaky children get teeth that young!

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  16. me

    omm should I continue to shag the totally inappropriate guy just for fun and to boost my confidence and keep my number the same ???

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  17. ladylaura

    OMM – Just had a second interview for my ideal (at this point in time) job and I realllly want it :D

    Also – loving that this is my biggest worry – whether or not I get this promotion. I have no serious problems in my life and I am grateful everyday for this smooth period in my life because obviously nothing lasts forever. So next time my boyfriend whinges because I forgot to wash his favourite shirt (I believe you can use the washing machine, boy!! *deep breath*) I will just let it go! :P

    And shortly – loved the Monster in law post – made me appreciate mine all the more. She’s not perfect, she drives me nuts sometimes (I am with her only child, let alone only son!) but she is definitely not a monster so I will thank my lucky stars :)

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  18. Megan

    This week I received Caitlin Moran’s “How To Be A Woman”. LOVE LOVE LOVE. As a young 19 year old woman, this book is so nourishing and beautiful and i feel an infectious need to tell everyone about it!

    So thankful I read this site so that I know about it. Blessed!

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  19. ozinuk

    Well. Here’s the thing. My assistant HATES her job, hates me, doesn’t want to come to work and will do everything to avoid any communication whatsoever. I’m over asking her questions or for her opinion on something and being grunted at in return. I don’t want to try anymore. It’s been 2 1/2 yrs of this shit and I’m over it. She asked for an afternoon off on Monday, which I gladly gave – she clearly had a job interview (she’s not made an effort with her appearance in months and all of a sudden she was suited and booted looking great – does she think I was born yesterday!?).

    She’s now asked for another afternoon off (next week), and it’s not fair on the team if I give it to her. Do I give it to her knowing that it isn’t fair on the team but that it might result in her resigning or do I ask her to make alternate plans and sort herself out in her own time? God. I’m so sick of this crap.

    She’s an assistant events manager in the HQ of a multi-national. It’s a job a billion events interns would kill for. Seriously. I cannot wait to be rid of her.

    In other news – I’ll be in Australia this weekend for the first time in 18 months. Bring it.

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    • Kat

      Totally let her. Think of it as a small sacrifice for the team for a long term gain.

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    • Craig

      Just make her redundant, can’t easily sack people now.

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      • ozinuk

        It’s a vital job – I wish redunancy was an option! We’re looking at at least six months of “performance management” before we even start formal warnings… :(

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        • Bee

          How about asking her straight out? “You seem unhappy in your job, I am wondering if the afternoon off on Monday and the one next week is for another job?” It will be interesting to hear what she says.

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  20. Ali

    I’m a mum to four year old triplet and I just wanted to wish parents of multiples around Australia a Happyy Multiple Birth Awareness Week #MBAW http://www.amba.org.au

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  21. Jess C

    Totes love Lauren’s dress – and those arms!

    OMM – Had ‘a moment’ this afternoon sitting on the train home from work. Was feeling a little stressed about impending uni assignments (doing FT work/PT masters) so took the time to read through the task and criteria. Ideas started flowing, I got home, hopped in the shower, the ideas kept flowing to the point where I had to get out and write stuff down immediately. Then I actually made the commitment to myself that I want to aim for a certain GPA this semester and I suddenly felt more motivated. Love it when that happens.

    Planning five nights in London on my own. So exciting. And the shopping. Oh the shopping.

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    • Natalia

      I seem to have all my life revelations while in the shower! It’s such a good place to think (probably because it’s the only time during the course of the day when I don’t have a phone or computer in front of me to distract me!)

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      • Jess C

        So true! I think I read somewhere once that when you’re in a relaxed state like that things your brain have been processing suddenly make so much more sense. And oh my gosh… I just found a waterproof notebook!

        http://www.riteintherain.com/homepage.asp

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  22. Bree

    I think I’ve just been feeling really lonely lately.
    Even though I’m surrounded by good friends, and a family that I can sortve tolerate…..

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    • Poppy

      Hang in there Bree……hugs.

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    • Rick Morton

      I feel lonely sometimes too. Never with any good reason, I just do.

      For me it’s just when my mind retreats into myself and fails to connect with those around me. That’s when I write. Do you do something creative that can channel those feelings?

      I once wrote 30 Times New Roman word doc pages over a course of months detailing my inner monologue. It was just awful, but man it helped.

      xx

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      • Susan As Well

        I do this too. Getting it out on paper/computer screen helps. If I read it back later on, I sometimes wonder what drugs I must have been on at the time though ;)

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  23. laurend

    On my mind?
    This is the first time I’ve really engaged with this Open Post business… and it’s so addictive! I am supposed to be writing a new political post for MM, or at least looking at the post that was put up today to see if anyone has actually read it (it’s in today’s News post. Feel free to take a look!) and instead I’m trawling through this comments section. It’s like a brand new community of girlfriends. Maybe I should be an Agony Aunt instead of a political reporter….

    My highlight this week? Meeting the amazing Mamamia team! Mia is just as sweet and gorgeous and brilliant as you’d expect. Lana is kind and compassionate and so warmly engaging, and Rick is funny and smart and terribly entertaining. The whole office has such a good vibe. I was incredibly jazzed to be there. I’m so lucky to be a tiny far away part of the Mamamia phenomenon!!

    These folk are good eggs!

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    • Inga

      Loving your contributions Lauren (and your dress just quietly). I’m quite interested in politics but a lot of political coverage and reporting can be intimidating. Accessible is good.

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    • Mia

      So enjoyed meeting you in person. You’re tall! xx

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      • laurend

        Haha… it’s good I was wearing flats then. You would have been extra itty bitty next to me in my normal shoes (love a killer heel). xx

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    • Rick Morton

      I also do a VERY good impression of an egg.

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    • flickity

      Gorgeous pic of Lauren & Mia! Lauren – a nosy & frivolous question- what label is your gorgeous dress please? It looks like an Elise dress but I’m not sure..
      Flickity :)

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  24. Kathy W

    On my mind: The following:

    I’m seriously wondering who watches ‘Please Marry My Boy’? I simply stare at the TV in disbelief when ads come on for this show. Are you kidding me? A bunch of blokes controlled by their mothers? Marry them? Noooooo waaaaay and I believe its’ rating well. Can someone enlighten me if I’ve missed the point of this show or is it just plain as puerile as it sounds.

    And tabloid television. Whipping up a frenzy of bogan froth about electricity meters, halal food and the ‘Chinese buying up all our land’. What is Tracey Grimshaw doing here?

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    • Rick Morton

      I SO agree with you about Please Marry my Boy. I can’t quite put my finger on why but it annoys the ridiculous heck out of me.

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      • Mum of 2

        I think it’s because the last man most people would want to be involved with is a Mummys boy who is even so involved with his mother that he is letting her pick out prospective partners! Where did they find these girls? There is a future mother-in-law from hell situation right there, and you would know that he wouldn’t have your back if the situation ever turned ugly between yourself and his Mum as it must take a certain amount of ‘spineless’ to hand over something that has such a huge influence on your future happiness to your Mum in this way.

        I’d run a mile….

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    • Charlotte

      Oh my gosh I love please marry my boy (please forgive me). Very much a guilty pleasure of mine! (just a side note, I am an intelligent girl, hence ‘guilty’ pleasure). I love a show where I can forget about the stresses of my daily life, unwind & watch humans interact in unusual circumstances.

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      • Kathy W

        Hey Charlotte – I totally get guilty pleasures! After all I’ve openly admitted on here that I watch The Bachelor (and others…Jersey Shore would have to take the cake but I love it)

        However, as the mother of sons, I just find the whole concept of vetting my son’s prospective partners on national television just a tad YUCK.

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    • Craig

      It’s in the so bad it’s good category.

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  25. bookkat

    Mia! You caused quite a stir with ‘fifty shades of grey’!! We had so many people come into work today to ask about the book. The only problem is……. You can’t get it in Australia!!!! Try telling that to the customers who kept saying ” but I saw it on the tv…..”

    And to add insult to injury, the other ladies at work were teasing me because apparently I am too young to read ‘mummy porn’! Good one!

    Anyway, 20 sleeps till I leave…. Very excited but very nervous!

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    • Guest

      You are not too young to read it! I assume you are not under 15 or thereabouts. IT IS NOT MUMMY PORN. There is not such thing as ‘mummy porn’. There is no ‘mummy’ angle to the book at all or any reason why it would appeal to mothers over any other group of women. It is erotica. Just that. Erotica. Anyone can read it. Of those readers some will be mothers. When I think ‘mummy porn’ I think of mothers looking at ads for those largely unattainable high-end prams that cost $3000 that celebrities have.

      Sorry to attach my rant to your post, but the term infuriates me as I think it belittles and diminishes women in some way I can’t quite articulate but I can feel.

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      • Mia

        Guest – I DO love a bit of a pram catalogue! ;)

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    • Mia

      LOL. You can get it on Kindle! You know, the main character in the book is 22! Or maybe younger!
      You’d love it!

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      • bookkat

        I knew it was on kindle. I would love it! I will be getting a copy to see what all the fuss is about! I have always read what I want! It was fun talking with the customers.. One lady had a very naughty glint in her eye. Very cheeky! …… Have I mentionned I love my job?

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  26. detachableprincess

    Hey, Rickstar! I found this birthday video just for you.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey22gpY7KUE&NR=1&feature=endscreen

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  27. lucy

    I need some help/advice from the Mamamia community!
    Today my boyfriend stopped talking to me and deleted me from Facebook with no explanation/reason that I know of. I saw him on Sunday where he got annoyed because I wanted to talk about something I thought was important to discuss but he refused to talk about it..so I agreed to leave it and then everything was really good, he said he was crazy about me and was happy and didn’t want to leave. We texted sunday and monday but then today and yesterday he just stopped all contact and ignored my texts/calls. I don’t know how to deal with the dissapearing act and its the worst feeling not knowing what is going on. I met him when I’d just moved to Sydney and I don’t really know anyone here and he is my best friend. I also feel a bit pathetic because there had been instances lately where he had been really inconsiderate and not seemed to care (turning up 1.5 hours late twice and not even bothering to call/text to say he’d be late and have stupid excuses like he was cleaning the house or playing soccer with mates, trying to initiate sex in a park without protection knowing I am a virgin) but after expressing my anger/hurt, I would eventually forgive him and he’d promise not to hurt me again.

    The thing is this seems to be a pattern I cannot break & I don’t think I can handle anymore pain. I have a history of boyfriends who are fine at first but then turn out to be inconsiderate/rude/selfish sometimes verbally abusive/liars. I also have a history of forgiving people too easily and expressing my anger/hurt but then giving them another chance when they often don’t deserve it. What inevitably happens is that they stop talking to me and I feel rejected and disgusted at myself for being left by someone I kept giving myself to and treating well knowing I deserved much better. My self esteem is so low now at 22 after so many boys that seem to be emotionally distant and just not really care about me or treat me well. I not only feel disgusted in myself for being with and letting them treat me badly but also deeply hurt thinking what is wrong with me? why do they not want me/love me/care? why am i not important to them when they’re so important to me?

    When i first met this boy I had enough of these experiences and told him I wasn’t interesting in getting involved with anyone because I needed a break. But he was so kind, so persistent and after a few weeks I fell into the relationship thinking he was completely different from all the other boys and sure I would be the one to hurt him not the other way around. Fast forward and now I am in the same position I have been in so many times, sobbing and feeling broken because the same thing has happened again and I so desperately just want a nice, decent boy who will treat me right.

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    • vegas

      Lucy, it’s fantastic and insightful that you have identified this pattern for yourself. There is no easy answer, but I really really recommend counselling. I was in a similar rut when I was in my late 20s (took me a lot longer to work it out) and I realised that the only part of the equation I had any control over was myself, so I worked on myself. if you have trouble affording it, maybe see if you can find a student clinic or something? I think you’ll have amazing results because you already have some insight, which some people go their whole lives without. Good luck to you sweetie and I know you’ll find someone who appreciates your beautiful soul and feels like the luckiest guy in the universe to be with you xx(by the way, fast forward several years and I’ve broken the pattern and have a lovely husband and a gorgeous baby girl…)

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    • eternally

      Oh sweetie, you deserve so much better. He sounds really immature and selfish.
      22 really is young, don’t be afraid of being single and having fun!
      There is plenty of time for the right guy to come along, no need to feel desperate.
      I hope you have girlfriends who can hang out with you, watch DVDs and eat chocolate; help you get through this tough time.

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    • MJ

      He sounds like a dickhead. You wouldn’t stay friends with someone who treats you like that would you? So don’t put up with that shit from a boy.
      That’s the way I view things – is the behaviour what you’d expect from a close friend? If not, then he’s not worth the drama.
      Good luck! Maybe you should be single for a while and focus on friends and having fun/trying new things/hobbies etc?

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    • Mia

      Lucy, walk away and don’t look back. Trust me on that one. xxx

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    • Anon

      Lucy, i agree with Mia, definitely walk away and don’t look back.
      Also, there is nothing wrong with you at all! The only way you’re going to find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and loves you the way you are is if you’re comfortable in yourself, love yourself and know what you want in life.
      Enjoy being single, use this time to focus on yourself and what you truly want. Work on yourself and learn to love yourself again because the dicks (excuse my language) sound like they’ve torn down your self esteem. It also sounds like you jump into relationships pretty quickly. Perhaps next time take it a bit slower, become friends with the guys first and get to know him properly as a person and then decide (after a good few months at least) if you have a true connection or if it was just lust/longing to have a boyfriend and not caring about who it would be.
      Apologies if my reply has been abrupt/all over the place. I’m replying off an iphone (which is typing extremely slowly!) and functioning off minimal sleep.

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      • lucy

        Thankyou for your kind replies :) Yes I will def be walking away! Its just the pain and sadness of ANOTHER stupid boy hurting me. I will try to focus on myself and be very very cautious about getting involved..and walk away at the first sign instead of putting up with it. This is such a beautiful community :)

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  28. Anon preggers for now

    Best: Still ‘feeling’ preggers. Booked into hospital and will upgrade to a suite this time…..my last baby so I figure why not!
    Worst: Most of the day morning sickness.

    Still no closer to making a descision about invasive tests etc CVS v’s usual NT scans/blood test. Hubby thinks we should go withe the CVS….I’m still hesitating. I saw on the TODAY show this morning a possible blood test in the future could be all we need! I wish that test was available now!

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    • rainbow

      i would have an amnio over a CVS ANY DAY.

      CVS has higher risks and is more invasive, while an amnio is pretty low key.

      just remember to rest afterwards whatever you choose.

      depending on where you are you can pay more for quicker results.

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    • AS

      I’ve had two CVSs (2010 and 2011) at Sydney Ultrasound for Women/Genea at 12 weeks 5 days. The doctors there are among the most experienced in the procedure in the country which dramatically reduces the risk (which is small anyway). Neither procedure was stressful or involved any pain. If you have the placenta at the front it’s much less invasive than an amino, as they don’t even need to go into the fluid. It’s expensive but worth it for us as we have no other pregnancy costs (e.g. obstetrician). I drove 100km home and looked after our 1 year old after my second CVS. For us the results were such wonderful reassurance, especially later in the first pregnancy when I had too much amniotic fluid and a couple of scaremongering doctors were silenced when we said “but we’ve had a CVS and know that’s not the problem”. It’s given us such peace of mind and if the results hadn’t been good, it would have helped us with decision-making and preparation. I’m now 34 weeks with our second baby. Best wishes for you whatever you decide.

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      • rainbow

        the advice i was given was the rest up afterwards. the majority of problems occur in people who don’t, so while you were ok, i wouldn’t advise anyone else do that.

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    • Katie

      Hi Anon – I had a CVS at 13 weeks due to a bad NT scan, and my obstetrician told me that the risks are only slightly higher than the Amnio, and it really depends on the operator as to what the risks are – often an experienced specialist has a risk factor a lot lower than the average. I didn’t find it painful at all, more that I was just scared of the outcome, and luckily for us we now have a perfect 7 week old daughter. I would definitely go with the CVS if you would be wanting to do something about the results – the earlier the better if that is the case and an amnio cannot be done until later in pregnancy, whereas the CVS can be done early. I wish you the best of luck!!

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  29. LKW

    Best: Finding Zoe Fosters book The Younger Man in a Kindle version. I cannot put it down and am in love with Marcus!
    Best: Finding a fab new play place at our local TAFE run by the students studying early childhood. My boys absolutely loved it and so did I!
    Worst: My wardrobe is full but I have absolutely nothing to wear. Am dropping big boy at pre-school tomoz and going shopping – for me – not the boys :)

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      LKW, I have such a big crush on Marcus. I’m hoping he exists in real life….

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    • MJ

      I read that yesterday, literally the entire afternoon I just sat there and read it. I was anxious about how it was all going to turn out, I couldn’t put it down.

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  30. Mandy

    HELP!! I have this need/want to blog. Trouble is, I am not too sure how to get started. I have spent so much time sourcing pages and information that I feel as though the laptop has now become an extra limb. I want to provoke thoughts in others and show all my local girls that they are not alone in what they experience every day. My days are filled with work and famiy- then throw into the mix a business, extended family issues(we all have them), teenage hormones, money problems, weight issues, two dogs, two chickens and a vegie garden, where is the time?? The thought of starting my own blog excites me though. Can anybody point me to the start line?
    THANKYOU

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    • Kathy W

      Not sure how you get started – I think just go to a place like wordpress and follow the instructions – there are heaps of bloggers on here who will advise you.
      But when you start it – I want to read it! You sound interesting!

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    • Kate

      The easiest platform is blogger for sure. It’s very easy to set up your own blog and there are loads of tutorials if you need help.
      Good luck!

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    • Mia

      Mandy – go to WordPress and start up! Or start a Tumblr. Just do it! You learn as you go and they make it very very simple.

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  31. Anon for this

    Hi peeps, I need some advice…

    Just got offered a job …. eeeeeeeeee! I’ve been looking for a couple of months. It’s a good job, looks interesting and with a good team. It’s not my dream job but it’s pretty appealing. I’ve been in my current position for 18 months and I like the work but my boss is a bully and I have to get out.

    But here’s the catch… it’s for $5K less than what I’m currently on. It’s in the same industry (an industry in which I have 18 months experience). I’ve asked them to consider raising the salary to parity with my own and they say there’s no room to budge. I asked whether there would an opportunity to raise the salary after six months, once y’ve seen what I can do, and they said that their pay rises are done in July every year and valid after 12 months – so I wouldn’t be up for a pay rise until JULY 2013! That means no opportunity even for parity with my current salary for fifteen months.

    I’m interested to hear whether any of you lovely ladies (and gentlemen) out there have ever taken a pay cut to stay in the same industry? It’s technically more complex than my current position although it has the same job title. Should I turn it down and risk not being offered anything else? I’m 27 and work in marketing.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I just don’t know what to do…

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    • Mum of 2

      I’d say it all depends on what the salary is that you are talking about. If you are earning 40,000 then a 5,000 pay cut is a big deal. If you are earning 200,000 then I would say 5,000 is probably not going to make a very big difference.

      This probably doesn’t help you much though! :-)

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    • I agree with Mum of 2. If it’s the difference between say, $80k and $85k, if you want the job, take it (lower tax threshold then too). If its between $50k and $45k reallllllllly think about it, that is nearly 18 months on the same salary.

      Do you like your current job? Obviously there is something not right there if you’ve applied and obtained another job. Is this new job the job of your dreams, or is it just because you’re a bit sick of the old place? If it is the job of your dreams, then you’ll make do for 18 months. If not, then you might get resentful about the salary.

      When I got my current job, I started in April, it was conditional on a salary review at my end of probation (6 months so October). I got a pay rise but not as big as I expected, but our reviews are in June as well, so I figured it was only another 8 or so months for another pay review. That was acceptable to me, but I also got a big pay rise to swap jobs, not a pay cut.

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      • wow!

        might be worth it just for the experience you will get!

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  32. roserusso

    I have a quick question for all you tech savvy people out there! :)

    I have my hotmail email linked to my iPhone, when I open an email on my iPhone it doesn’t show as “read” when I go on my laptop to view my emails.

    How do I make them speak to each other??

    It’s a little problem that is driving me slowly crazy!!!

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    • LaLaLauren

      Have the same problem and haven’t figured it out yet, but dam its annoying. I tend to not use the ‘Mail’ icon and use safari instead to log into my emails.

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    • Ingy

      Hey:)

      I had the same problem but switched to using exchange and that’s solved the problem. Good luck:)

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    • Cath

      Mine was doing that too, and i couldn’t send emails from my phone either. I wiped the account from the phone, reloaded it back on and it works perfectly now! Hope that helps

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  33. georgiepie

    Ok, I have to say, Lauren DuBois, I want your outfit. NOW. Your brain would also be good :)

    OMM: Uni is really overwhelming, it’s weird having to fend for myself with assignments etc. – but awesome! Feel like I’m settling in – and I’m transferring to Arts/Secondary Education next year! Yay!

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    • laurend

      Thanks Georgiepie! Clearly you have impeccable taste. The dress is from CUE. They do a great frock. xxx

      And on the uni front…. everyone feels like that, especially at the start, so don’t worry too much about it :) It’s great that you’re excited about transferring next year. Being interested in your degree is essential. I had no interest whatsoever in my first degree…. I barely remember what happened in those three years. When I went back to get my masters in journalism, I was so super keen and fascinated by every subject that I absorbed every minute of the course. I loved it so much! Good luck xxxx

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      • georgiepie

        CUE do great frocks, I agree!! such a frock girl, I think I feel 10x hotter when I wear a nice dress!
        Yeah I’m so excited, I actually started journalism this year, (such a politics nerd), but I’m just not interested in that career unfortunately…doesn’t grab my interest like education does! did it to avoid following in my mums/aunties footsteps, but I guess teaching is in the genes! I’ll use my politics nerd through my politics classes instead :) those kids will be most well informed future voters on the block.

        just made my day that you replied! I got all flustered haha! Thank you!! xoxo

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        • laurend

          Oh yay!! The thought of having a teacher out there that will get kids excited about politics is awesome! There is such a need for young people to get involved in politics. They just need a great role model to challenge and inspire them to do great things… and that’s going to be YOU!! Your future students will be lucky to have you xxx

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  34. AJ

    Happy birthday for tomorrow Rick!! My little fellow is 6 today – am about to dash into town with cupcakes for his class!!

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    • Mia

      AJ – happy birthday to your little man.

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      • AJ

        Thank you Mia !! He had a lovely day, even thought he wasn’t all that impressed with going to school on his birthday!! :)
        Love reading Mamamia !!

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  35. Xanthe

    Hey, has anyone heard from Oopsyboops lately? I’m kinda concerned about how the radiation and chemo is affecting her, and if the brain tumour has shrunk at all.
    If you’re there, Ooops, just give us all a hoi (however weak!) so we know you’re still on deck.
    Many cyberhugs … xxx

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    • Another Jo

      I have seen her posting today on the Mind Crush story and the Home birth story.

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  36. anon

    I’m stressing about my mortgage. My husband is in construction and the rain has closed in on us financially. It seems to have been raining constantly for the last 2 years and our mortgage doesn’t get paid because construction stops in the rain. I never thought this could happen to me but here we are clinging on to our house for dear life and I’m terrified that we could lose our house.

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    • floraly

      Hang in there! xx

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    • eternally

      I don’t know much about it, but I think there are financial counsellors/crisis managers available through some charities? They may be able to give you advice about making your loan interest only, even moving out and renting cheaply for a while etc, anything that helps you just hang in there.
      Good luck

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  37. Yaz

    Hi lovely ladies, I need some help please! I am looking for my wedding dress…but rather a dress to get married in than a traditional wedding dress if you know what I mean.

    Does anyone in Melbourne know of any lovely shops that stock nice dresses? I would still like it to be long so I guess that would come under “formal” category. Or any lovely vintage dress shops?

    Thank you x

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    • Cordeline

      My wedding dress (not a real wedding dress!) was made from a shop in Howie Place, just off Little Collins Street. I can’t remember the name of the shop (it was 8 years ago) but I know it is still there. Howie Place is only tiny so you won’t miss it.

      I saw a dress in there and I loved the fabric and they had just enough to make me a dress in the style I wanted. They did a beautiful job.

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    • Mimi

      my wedding dress was from Alannah Hill – it was still white/cream – they have stunning designs in there! and good prices too!

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    • Em

      Lisa Ho

      Collette Dinnigan

      Good Luck with the search! :-)

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    • Blair

      Lisa Ho

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    • Anonymous

      Harvey and Ella do pretty dresses. Only problem is they’ve recently closed their Malvern store. You can find them on Facebook and get in touch that way. I think they do semi regular try on mornings at a hotel.

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    • Yael Barkhan

      Savvy Brides in Double Bay has vintage second bridal gowns that are divine you can go online to have a peep!

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  38. Cordeline

    Lauren Dubois – what a ‘lady’! My daughters would squeal with delight if I wore dresses like that. Actually even I would squeal with delight at such a pretty dress.

    OMM – Apologies in advance for this boring topic. There is a mum at my daughter’s kinder who stays for the entire kinder session at least 2 days per week (out of 3). I chatted to her at the playground opposite kinder after the first day in Feb and she told me how she didn’t understand parents who just ‘drop their kids off’ and then just leave. She said ‘I stay. And I watch. And I listen’. It freaked me out a bit.

    In the same conversation she went on to talk about a couple of kinds in the kinder group (who she knew from last year) and how they did this or that which she deemed to be ‘strange’ or ‘odd’ behaviour. She did the same thing the following week about another child – while that child’s mother was within earshot!!

    I spoke to the teachers about it indicating that I thought it was a privacy issue. It’s not fair for a parent to talk about other children and their behaviour. Not fair to that child, or their parents.

    Anyway, I didn’t realise at the time that she would also end up staying for entire kinder sessions so often. My daughter thinks that she is ‘learning to be a teacher’! Which she isn’t. But I’m not happy as I know that this mum does not leave her daughter’s side (and my own daughter seems to be friendly with this child) and my daughter comes home and starts telling me that this mother constantly talks to them and tries to get them to change their games/play if she doesn’t like what they are doing.

    I’m feeling apprehensive about speaking to the teachers about it as then I’ll be ‘that parent’ who has complained twice in one term! Should I approach teachers again? My stomach just sinks when I see that this mother has been present at yet another kinder session all the time.

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    • laurend

      Why thank you Cordeline! It’s a little CUE number. I love a good dress. Mainly because I don’t have to try to match it with anything else. Outfit complete!

      Now, I’m not a mum… however, I too would be creeped out that another mother is loitering all day long and ‘assessing’ the kid’s behaviours. And I can’t imagine the teachers enjoy being observed all day long. Like someone reading over your shoulder. They need to be free to do what they do without having an audience. I’ve never heard of anyone staying with their kids at Kindy. And in my non-mother opinion – I can’t imagine her child is getting the full benefit of being at Kindy if her mum is with her. Isn’t it about learning to be independent and making friends and socialising?

      I would most definitely be speaking up again, if you’re feeling uncomfortable. Then again, I’m one of those ‘speaking up’ types :)

      Maybe you could just say something like: “I know I’ve already mentioned this, and I don’t want you to think I’m unhappy with the school or you… but I still feel very uncomfortable with XXX staying in the classroom with the kids during the day. I know this woman is very ‘involved’ in my daughter’s day. I am not ok with this. She is not trained or employed by this school and it is confusing my daughter.”

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    • Ruth

      Cordeline, I think it’s really strange that a school would allow a mum to hang out there all day. It’s def not the norm at my kids school. Dont’ be afraid to talk to either the teacher or the principle again. She’s probably driving the kindy teacher bonkers.

      PS. I’m a drop and run kind of mum myself :)

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      • Cordeline

        Thanks Ruth and Lauren! Yes, I was going to take the approach of ‘my daughter actually thinks this mother is there learning to be a teacher!’ Also, this is just kindy – as in Preschool, not the first year of primary school, which is called Prep here in Vic.

        Still, I think it’s odd in any case. And to be perfectly honest, if I know this woman talks (negatively) about other children and their behaviour, it’s only a matter of time before she starts gossiping about my own daughter – especially given how much time she spends ‘watching and listening’ to them! Yikes!

        And yep Ruth, I’m a drop, cuddle and run mum as well. Except of course when I’m on kindy duty!

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    • Tripitaka

      That’s a really tricky situation. I definitely agree that you should speak up, for all the reasons Lauren mentioned. Perhaps you could suggest that they form a new policy regarding parents staying? Something like parents can only stay for 1 or 2 hours, or only on certain days, or only once a term per parent?

      p.s I’m a drop and run kind of mum too, but at my daughter’s preschool they did encourage parents to come and help out for a couple of hours. I never did it, but apparently the kids loved it when their parents did.. but it was certainly never for entire days.

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    • drop and run mum

      Hi Cordeline, Seriously that is mega creepy! I am amazed that the kindy staff would allow that….. maybe on a first day they would suggest staying for half the session, but for the whole day? Crazy. I would suggest that if that mum feels the need to observe and listen, she should forget about kindy altogether adn just keep her child in playgroups where she is welcome to be involved. My little boy is 2 9 months and has been in day care for at least one day a week since he was 7 months old. I have never stayed more than 10 minutes……ever. The staff actually wouldn’t let me even if I wanted to!

      I really think you should complain, its creepy and you definitely won’t be the only one who is uncomfortable with it. Good luck

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    • ladylaura

      ‘I stay. And I watch. And I listen’ – that made me literally laugh out loud! What a weiiiiird thing to say.

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      • Daisy

        That is so strange! What an exciting life that mother must lead.
        I’m a teacher in a primary school setting and there is no way the parent would be allowed to stay there all day, so many privacy issues and safety issues (everyone who is in the classroom on a regular basis need to sign ‘working with children’ forms to be checked out).
        If it makes you feel uncomfortable, definatley bring it up again.

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    • freetoclaire

      Hi Cordeline -
      I would say, NEVER be worried about being “that parent”. Complaining twice about something like this does not make you that parent at all. And even if it did, I have learned that when it comes to your kids and their schooling (whether kindy, primary or highschool) you should talk to the teachers as much as you can if you are concerned about something – regardless what they or other parents think about it. Teachers often are glad when parents take an active role in their kids schooling and the environment of the classroom – sometimes they dont notice things we do.
      But as for that mother – Creepy! Why is her kid even in Kindy if she wont let her, you know, be in kindy? Especially if she is commenting on other kids outside of the school and/or interrupting their interactions. Surely there has to be some kind of rule or guideline or something that prohibits stuff like this happening? Talking about other kids like that especially is not on. I would definitely complain. Let them know what she has been saying outside of the session times (better to give examples than just a general statement) and also let them know what your daughter has been telling you – maybe the kindy thinks no one has a problem with it, or they dont realise she is interfering in this way because no one has told them the extent of the problem?
      I would ask them why the mother is there all day, that it makes you uncomfortable, give them reasons why (what she has been saying, what your daughter has been saying) and then ask them to let you know whats going to happen about it when they know (so they know youre serious and not just commenting on it).
      Hope this helps.

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      • Susan As Well

        Agree with this, Cordeline. Your child’s welfare is at stake here and you have real concerns about what is going on at kinder. I would definitely question the teachers about allowing the mother access to the class which is outside her authority to have.

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    • Loulee

      I feel very creepy about that woman. And making your daughter change their play because she doesn’t like it? That is very intrusive and weird. She obviously has issues and the preschool need to let you know where they stand about this as it is not normal behaviour. Can you change your daughter’s days so she is not around this strange lady?

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  39. Anonymous

    On my mind, trying to convince my home loving other half that if we have to fly to Denmark for his brother’s wedding we might as well make a decent holiday out of it. He would just go and come back. Right now I think I will be lucky if we get 2 weeks out of it.

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    • Rick Morton

      Hide the remote in Copenhagen.

      (I actually don’t know how to seriously respond, but I’m wishing you luck nonetheless!)

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      • Anonymous

        Thanks Rick! He loves to get out and about but hates travelling anywhere to do it. I just know that when we get back he will be the one proudly showing off the holiday snaps.

        Right now I think I’m going to have to give up on one of Prague, Berlin or Vienna, what do people suggest? I’m so torn, part of my family came from Vienna, but I’ve also always wanted to go to both Berlin and Prague. No idea what to do.

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        • Rick Morton

          Prague is gorgeous. I wouldn’t give it up. And Berlin is so much cooler and more interesting than Vienna (in my opinion)…

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        • Lulu

          I’ve been to both Prague & Vienna, & I prefer Vienna, but it depends on what you’re interested in.

          Prague: Rick’s right, it is gorgeous, but it also has more pickpockets. And drunken Brits on weekend stag parties (although I was there in 2008 – maybe it’s less now, with the GFC etc).

          Vienna: more staid than Prague, & not as beautiful, but still very pretty. The cafes are legendary. Incredible art galleries. Also, it’s on the euro which Prague isn’t.

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        • georgiepie

          Prague and Berlin! In my opinion. Prague is gorgeous, and has a real energy, and I didn’t really feel the same kind in Austria. And Berlin is gritty and cool and awesome.
          Vienna’s lovely, but that’s the first one I’d cull :)

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        • S

          Loved Prague and Berlin! Vienna is nice, but not as cool as Berlin or as beautiful and interesting as Prague.

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          • Anonymous

            Thanks everyone! Your thoughts are so helpful.

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    • wow!

      My man can be like that sometimes, I’ve learnt just to do it without him because when I force him into something he doesn’t want to do we all end up having a miserable time. We do miss him when he’s not there though. Enjoy Denmark!

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      • Anonymous

        Oh he will be fine when we are there, once he is somewhere he enjoys it, it is just the getting going process that is so hard!

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  40. Kelli

    I was thinking of moving out of Melbourne as it’s becoming expensive and i’m over the rat race. I was hoping for the beach life, with a slower pace of life. Has anyone else moved from a city to a beach life with success?

    Thanks – again! Kel

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    • Cordeline

      I know many people who have moved from Melbourne to the Mornington Peninsula. Most still work in the city but the travel is not that far and they get to go home to a beautiful coastline.

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    • Tessy

      Hey, I’ve just moved to Perth from inner Melb. It’s still expensive but SOO much more chilled out and relaxing than Melb.

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      Kelli, last year I moved from Melbourne to south-west Victoria and it was AMAZING. Beautiful change of pace, but still only a couple of hours from the city when you need a dose.

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    • Kathy W

      I moved from the madness of Sydney to a village on the South Coast of NSW.

      I swapped my 3 hour daily commute to work for a 15 minute traffic light free drive through dairy farms.

      I have a beach ninety seconds from my back door.

      Absolutely no regrets ever!

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    • Loulee

      Kelli moving out of Sydney and heading north was the best thing we ever did. Our lifestyle is so fantastic, we can afford a 4 bedroom house with a pool (not possible in Sydney).

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  41. Mimi

    Happy Hump Day!

    Love Lauren Dubois’ Dress and necklace gorgeous colour combination!

    Having a great week at work and tomorrow is my friday another 3 day weekend going to freo to stay with my aunt and mum this weekend cant wait! shopping and lunches and dinners and chilling out on the beach cant wait! ^_^

    have started reading The girl who played with fire and cannot get enough of it! my Asos order and Marie Claire magazine arrived last night just like christmas time! love getting packages!!

    finally the weather is starting to cool down here in Perth a nice 28-30 degrees forecast for the next five days! Bliss!!

    have a great week all!

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    • Rick Morton

      Lauren is stunning! Have yourself a very merry week as well!

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      • Mimi

        Lots of Sunshine and Cupcakes to you on your 25th too Rick!

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    • laurend

      Thank you Mimi :)
      ASOS and Marie Claire? Doesn’t get better. Sounds like my idea of Christmas too! Let’s be BFFs xxx

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      • Mimi

        Done! :P

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        • Mimi

          may also have to add that i live in CUE during my working week! love their stuff!!

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  42. thatgirlfiona

    On my mind..? Nasty people and nasty words. No matter how okay I think I am with myself, and how much I know I shouldn’t believe what others say about me, especially someone with a clear objective to hurt me.. It still SUCKS to be called “ugly” and “average” and be told that my boyfriend is “settling” for me.

    Yerk. His ex-girlfriend is not a very nice person but I’ve given her so much benefit of the doubt… Oh, wow. Women. Why must we intend on hurting each others so?
    :(

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    • Nancy

      It is his ex so don’t let her be a part of your life. Yes it sucks to be called names but unless this person needs to be in your life then walk away. If you can’t walk away listen, smile as if what they are saying has no affect and you are listening to be considerate, then forget what they told you when they are no longer around.

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      • thatgirlfiona

        Ah, the worst part is that I’ve tried that, I’ve really tried. It’s tough because she and her current boyfriend are part of the same friendship group that my boyfriend is part of. I don’t want to tell him to stop hanging out with them, of course. But you are right.. You are very right.

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        • Anna

          Fiona,
          If your boyfriend has caught wind of what she says, he should want nothing to do with her. Failing that, HE should make clear to her that comments about his beautiful girlfriend whom he loves so much will not be tolerated.
          The bottom line is that you seem to be grappling with something alone and are too kind/afraid to speak up for yourself. He is the closest person to you and therefore you should feel protected and very much NOT ALONE when someone is attacking you.

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    • laurend

      Fiona, darling, women can be evil. It’s true. We all know this.

      I have learnt two things from my 13 years at an all girls school:

      1. Laughing at crap like that is the best revenge. You know when someone is yelling at you and you laugh? It infuriates them because it shows they’re not succeeding in making you feel shit. So when you hear stuff like this, even though it’s really hard and takes a lot of effort, just smile or laugh and go, “yeah ok, you’re hilarious” like what they’ve said is just so wrong that you find it funny. Like you find them silly. Because then they feel small. And they think they haven’t upset you. And that means you win.

      2. THEY win when you let this take up space in your brain. You have much more important things and people to be thinking about, don’t you? People that love you. (umm… like your boyfriend? If he’s ‘settling’ for you, clearly she’s worse because she’s the ex!) Thinking about her, dwelling on this…. that’s what she wants. She wants you to feel crap about yourself. She wants you to be torn up about it. So if you refuse to let that happen… you win!

      It takes effort and practice and time, but eventually you can tune stuff like that out. She’s not doing it because of you – she’s doing it because she feels bad about herself and wants to blame it on someone else. She’s clearly jealous of you because you have something she wants.

      Sometimes it’s easier to feel sorry for people like that. She’s clearly pretty unhappy. So put a smile on your face, go out and have fun and be yourself like none of this has happened. Be really friendly and happy around her and she’ll end up feeling stupid because her nasty words are having no effect. (yes, I know that all sounds really juvenile, but as I said… 13 years at an all girls school – and I can tell you, women in their 30s and 40s still act like teenagers when they’re angry). Chin up sweetheart xxxx

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    • Natalia

      Jealousy is a curse. And it sounds like his ex has a bad case of the green eyed monster!

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      • thatgirlfiona

        Ahaha! Thank you, all of you. Your words are much appreciated. Don’t worry, my boyfriend doesn’t give two shits about what she has to say, and ignores her most of the time.. But this whole big furore happened because he didn’t invite her to a get-together of his. She got so mad she said some nasty things to I don’t know, get back at him? Not only that, but both her boyfriend and her constantly lie about me and my boyfriend, which is nonsense as we get on like a house on fire and her boyfriend is also not a very nice person. They don’t even speak to us, ever…
        Sigh. So much drama! Too much drama! It seems like it is dragging me back into High School, all this name-calling and drama! Thank goodness I didn’t go to an all-girls school at least ;) Ha. This is all good advice. I’m going to write this all down.
        Again, thank you :D

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  43. Nancy

    Why is it so hard to find the perfect, all round, able to cater for mummy or career girl hand bag?
    Is there such a thing as the perfect handbag or is that just a myth ?

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    • Cordeline

      It’s a myth! I have been looking for 5 years. It’s like the perfect pair of shoes… that I can walk for 20 mins (and back again) to kinder in and still look groovy.

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      • Holly

        Oh no, please don’t tell me the perfect pair of brown knee-high boots are also a myth? I have only been looking for a year, should I just give up now??!

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        • Cordeline

          Well… I did get beautiful knee high tan boots last year. They have flat heel so I can do the kinder walk in them. But then, what about when I need a bit of height in my boot heel?? And what about when I need them to be chocolate brown? Or black? Or ankle boots?

          My head is spinning!

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        • Nancy

          Depends if you are like me and have huge calves … give up or relent and accept ankle boots. I know just not the same really.

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          • kajy

            Nancy. Duo boots in the UK do different calf size boots and they deliver to Oz. they also have free delivery and they arrive in about 3or 4 days. If you buy at end of their winter you can get some good deals. I love them.

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          • ladylaura

            My mum has larger calves and she just buys normal boots and takes them to a leather shop and gets a triangular panel put in so she can do them up. You’d never notice they aren’t supposed to look like that :)

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          • e.t.

            Nancy, try ‘Sara’ boots available on ezibuy. They cater to the lady with (ahem) athletic calves.

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        • May!

          Holly I looked for AGES for my knee high, brown leather boots. I wanted the right shade of brown and perfect height heel. Seriously I looked for about a year too then in September I got them ON SALE at Wittner! Don’t give up the dream!

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          • Holly

            Thanks May! You give me hope! Maybe I’ll keep looking for a bit longer :)

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      Nancy! My Longchamp bag is the best investment I ever made. It goes with everything and it’s huge (just like Mary Poppins’)

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      • Nancy

        Yay magic words Mary Poppins which brings with it the image that I can put anything in there and be able to pull anything out. This working mother’s dream. I will be checking that out. Thanks Lucy.

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    • archie

      I have a huge slouchy leather bag, it’s wonderful! It goes with and can carry everything.

      I wear it with my awesome brown, knee high, flat, leather boots…. That I bought on eBay for $40. WIN!

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      • Anonymous

        More details on huge slouchy leather bag please! sounds promising

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    • vness

      I’ve found two bags that I’m loving – at least for the moment!
      1. Mimco basic black fabric bag, which is great because you can wipe it clean when you are with the kids and its still nice for work; and
      2. Witchery tan one which could be called Allie zip tote or something similiar. Its a great size for kids’ stuff or work, straps are sturdy and so far I’ve found it difficult to stain.

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    • Em

      I found mine in Marc By Marc Jacobs.

      Purchased online from USA.

      2 & a half years later its still going strong and looking great. Amazing quality leather. You can browse their collections on nordstrom & shopbop pretty easily.

      Good Luck :-)

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    • ozinuk

      Team,

      Two places you need to know about:

      #1 – for boots, try googling “Duo”. They do a few million different calf sizes, along with all sorts of styles. Love them. And with the Aussie quite strong against the British Pound they may work out to be competitively prices.

      #2 – slouchy leather handbags, try googling “Joules”. They’re another British brand, and they do amazing handbags. Love love love!

      That is all xx

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    • Ned

      I think that ‘mummy or career girl’ handbag must be similar to ‘uni girl textbook handbag’. I’m getting me one o’ these (in orange): https://www.louenhide.com.au/products_details/product/switch_new_improved/category//parent/hand_bags/section/products

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  44. Kelli

    Hi guys, i need your opinion…

    I want to go back to uni to study teaching or nutrition but i’m really not sure if i should or not??? I’m not sure if i should just keep plugging away at my fairly low paid jobs of beauty therapy & nannying or get myself a HECS debt and re-qualify. I’m 33 and live in Melbourne. I’m over my jobs & would perhaps like to move out of Melbourne. Help – this is my mid life crisis!!

    Big decisions i’ve been mulling over for awhile – Any suggestions welcome.

    Thanks! Kel

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    • Charlotte

      As the Nike’s would say , just do it! If you don’t, you will regret it. I have lots of friends who went through uni as mature age students and are so happy that they did. My only advice would be to really think about what you want to be doing in, say, 10-15 years time as nutrition & teaching are quite different professions. Find out where you true passions lie, as this will help you stay focussed & motivated during exam & assignment time! Good Luck! Would love to know what you decide!

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    • Daisy

      Do it, lifes too short, on your death bed you won’t regret your hex, infect it won’t even enter your head!!!!!

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    • Denyse

      Do it! The thirties is an age where I’m seeing many do something different& teaching is a great move. You love kids!? You like to learn? You’ll be fine!

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    • Luc

      So do it! Best time of your life to study, as you are now really into it, and you can get SO much out of it!
      You should earn more money, so even though you have a HECS debt, you should be better off – and really, it’s as much about doing something you love as the extra money!

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    • wow!

      Im 32, a single mum of 2 (6 and 4 yo) and am in my 3rd year of a six year part time bachelor of commerce at Swinburne. I love it! i feel more alive and part of the human race than I ever have before. Don’t get me wrong; it’s hard! money sucks, I get really tired, time becomes a huge issue and the balance between being a good mum and a good student is a very fine line. BUT I feel such relief that I am not stuck in a min wage or centrelink cycle, there is light at the end of the tunnel. When I am finished I will not only have more knowledge and be more developed as a person but I will be able to earn twice as much as I earn now and might even be able to influence the lives of other people for the better!
      Swinburne is great for offering evening courses and part time students are given timetable preference.
      Do it! i will change your life forever!

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    • Nervous Nellie

      Definitely do it!! I have just started at uni in the last few weeks. Same age as you, same feeling of being over the jobs I’ve held since leaving school. I figure I can’t handle another 30 years of annoying jobs, I can handle six years part time study. And you know what, I am SO loving it. My brain is stimulated for the first time in years. It’s so interesting and I’m so excited for my future! Definitely more pros than cons for me, you will have to asses for yourself, but don’t let the Hecs thing deter you. Good luck!

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  45. AAA

    OMM:
    Am after a bit of advice from anyone willing to give it. Got a number of a guy that works in the same building as me on Sunday. I texted first that afternoon and it has just gone from there. The thing is, I think it’s goin very fast. We’ve talked about some serious stuff and it’s only been 3 days and we haven’t even gone on a real date yet (but have one booked for next week). He even set his alarm for verrrry early this morning just to text me good morning when I started work. Very sweet but is it a bit much? I don’t know. We are texting for literally hours and hours each day.

    Happy birthday to rick for tomorrow. Us march 1987 babies rock!! I’m in 2 weeks and I am truly freaking out about it!!

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    • Charlotte

      Yeah that does sound a little too keen for me. I would say still have fun with it all, but perhaps just tighten in the reins a little especially as there is a work connection.

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    • Cait

      My partner and I moved pretty quick in the flirting/courting stages. Probably similar to how you describe.

      As long as it doesnt freak either of you out, i think its harmless :)

      good luck!

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    • Lu

      Take it from an old 42yo…go out with him and enjoy romantic dinners and let him put time into chasing you and have dates with him before you’re too willing to move too fast. The dating stage is too exciting to completely skip.

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    • Anonymous

      If it feels like too much it probably is. Slooooow down and enjoy the initial wooing stages more or else you’ll be in track pants at home with him every weekend before you know it, wondering what happened to the romance.

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  46. Monica

    Ricky Rickster – was so glad you put the TV thang up as you were delightful – even though Brendan was quite loud – you need to be LOUDER next time so your funny comments can be better heard – but all up, I thought it was great – good mix of people, you looked fabulous and I loved it – hope its a regular thang!!! Happy Birthday tooooooo youuuuu hooooooo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    • Rick Morton

      You rock! I’ll have more to say if they ever ask me back!

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      • thatgirlfiona

        Ahaha Rick you were such a cutie! Looking forward to hopefully seeing you on telly again ;)

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  47. S

    Could that Lauren Dubois lady be any cooler? I want her hair/dress/necklace!! Never seen her on here before!

    And Mia’s pants are ahhhmazing.

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    • Sarah

      I was just thinking that! Her hair and outfit are stunning!

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      • archie

        Yes! LOVE the hair, love the dress…

        It’s not often I want to shamelessly copy, but this has me looking for my hairdresser’s number.

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        • laurend

          Ladies! I should totally become an online human being. You all say such nice things to me. No one in real life says I’m cool…. probably because I’m about the most uncool person ever. I’m like a 60 year old woman trapped in a 30 year old body who occasionally acts like a 10 year old.

          And how funny you’d mention my hair. I’m a Sydneysider, born and raised but I’ve been in Canberra for a couple of years now. There is no humidity in Canberra. Ever. It’s fab. But I forget how humid Sydney can be and the havoc it plays with good hair. So I was hating my flat kinky hair that day. I will say, however, my fringe is my sneaky hair secret. Perfectly hides forehead wrinkles. WIN!

          But I’ll give you one thing….my dress is really pretty. Can not deny. Haha! ;)

          Oh, and S, I am the new political reporter for MM. Have only just started a couple of weeks ago. My pieces will usually feature in the daily news post. There’s one there today! xxx

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    • Mia

      S – a friend of mine calls them my Parrot Pants. I should wear them more often.

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  48. Anon

    What do you do when your husband tells you that one of the reasons he has been staying away from you (intimacy) is because sex used to be uncomfortable for me and he kept thinking I wasn’t enjoying it and he felt like crap after each time we did it. It was uncomfortable for me at times, but not if we adjusted positions etc. However, that meant we didn’t experiment a lot and it wasn’t as exciting as his previous experiences with other women, but it also meant that I didn’t get to live out my wishes in the bedroom either. My husband is the first person I’ve been with and he has been wonderful with my concerns at the start, but he feels he has ‘compromised’ and is regretting it now. Instead of working on it together, he has bottled this up for years. He felt I only wanted sex when we wanted to conceive – that was the only time I could ask him/reach out to him and know that he was unlikely to say no or make an excuse. it’s made him bitter now and he is unhappy and lonely in our relationship and wants to end it. I cannot believe he didn’t bring this up earlier, and I can’t believe I didn’t bring this up earlier either – I just assumed there were other factors at play such as a stressful job. I have been incredibly lonely too and I can’t believe he wants to split up without wanting to work on things.

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    • Anon this time...

      I think there’s more to this than he’s saying. Look at the situation from another angle.

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      • Anon

        I’m asking sincerely, not snarkily or anything, but what do you mean? Do you think he wants a fulfilling and active sex life and therefore would like to leave his family? Or that he is having an affair? (which i have asked him about)

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        • Anon this time

          Dear Anon – I realise I’m probably treading on dangerous ground, here, but if a man wants to leave a relationship they’ll use any excuse. If there is still genuine love there, he (and you) might gain from counselling or mediation – or even a good GP – if he is genuinely concerned about your sexual discomfort, and if this is the ONLY reason for him wanting to leave..
          If he dismisses this idea without giving it any consideration, then, yes, I’m afraid there might be someone else involved.
          I am agonising for you, this is an awful thing to hear and I sincerely and genuinely hope I’m wrong.
          You’re both not happy, that’s plain.
          Better to fix it if it can be fixed, or if it really can’t, then be brave and move on.
          I wish I could give you a big hug!

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          • Anon

            He loves me, and we get along pretty well, and we have a relatively happy family life – it’s the intimacy that we’re struggling with. He is talking to a psychologist about various things and is feeling better just letting things out, and he has agreed to couples therapy…so let’s see..crossing my fingers, but also have to think about the possibility that it doesn’t work out. Thanks for your reply.

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    • Guest

      If he is telling the truth then I would recommend seeing a sex therapist. Not sure what their actual title is, but there are therapists who are skilled in teaching couples how to connect sexually as opposed to family therapists who might focus on the bigger picture. Maybe you two need and expert to talk you through some nuts and bolts? Give you some productive sex exercises to do together to re-establish intimacy and pleasure?

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      • Anon

        Hopefully the family therapy will lead to getting help with the intimacy once again…we may be in a better frame of mind after having the chance to chat properly

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  49. MissV

    Happy Birthday for tomorrow Rick!

    OMM: I dropped out of uni yesterday and i[‘m a bit saddened by it but there is always next year!

    OMM2: my boyfriend’s good friend made it clear on the weekend that he doesn’t like me. Which is awkward. I don’t like him either but i’ve always been nice to him because he’s good friend’s with my boyfriend. I’m not too fussed but i can see potential problems arising..

    xxxmissvxxx.wordpress.com

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  50. Random act of kindness :)

    Hi MMers,

    If anyone wants to do a random act of kindness, I’d love your help! I’m so close to winning a DVD of my favourite book ever!

    If you go here:

    http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/faking-it-til-you-make-it-tell-us-your-secrets-win-a-dvd-and-a-bottle-of-perfume/#comments

    and find Kell (I wrote about a washing basket to pick up toys) and click my thumbs up to vote I would be eternally grateful!

    ETA: It’s on page 2 right at the very bottom. Thanks!!

    x

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    • Anonymous

      Thankyou lovely person that voted. I hope you have a wonderful day!

      x

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