By MIA FREEDMAN
I have some bad news for every single bloke in the world: marriage proposals have become a competitive sport. Romance and a ring worth the price of a small car don’t cut it anymore. Now you must also include choreography and capture it all on a youtube video viewed by seven million people. This, Gentlemen, is the new benchmark for a successful proposal and it’s making me want to cry for every man who must sleep in its impossible shadow.
But why? Now that most couples live together before marriage, proposals are rarely a total shock. So with the surprise factor gone, the goal posts have shifted towards effort.
The latest intimidating example is the viral video of a guy who choreographed a five-minute lip synching masterpiece involving 60 members of the couple’s family and friends dancing down a suburban street.
Isaac Lamb knows he’s set the bar to cruel and unsustainable heights. “Guys, I’m sorry,” he said in a TV interview this week. “That wasn’t my intention.” But he didn’t look sorry, he looked smug. Guess how much I love you? Seven million times.
Are women demanding these OTT proposals or are some men embracing them as a creative outlet in the same way women do with wedding planning?
Either way, it’s a crushing development for every straight person who wants to get married (don’t get me started on how crushing every day is for same-sex couples who want to marry because I will nod my head until it falls off).
Men are freaked out about finding enough cash for a ring AND the services of Baz Luhrman while women are scared that men will get performance anxiety and shelve the whole idea.
“Unmarried guys always cower when we tell our proposal story” admits one friend whose husband spelled out a giant “MARRY ME EMMA” in large rocks on a Bryon Bay beach and then took her for a walk high above the sand to surprise her. “It’s become very competitive and it’s making guys very anxious”.
It’s not a fear of rejection so much. Blokes don’t usually ask unless ‘yes’ is pretty much guaranteed. But they do stress about living up to their future wife’s expectations of the MAGIC MOMENT. And fair enough. Because often, it falls short. One friend was proposed to when she had a raging cold sore. Another was doubled over with cystitis. In both cases, the bloke had elaborate surprise plans locked in (including a helicopter and I’m not even kidding) that couldn’t accommodate our heroines’ unexpected (and slightly disfiguring) ailments.
Fun fact: being proposed TO can also pose challenges. Many women admit to feeling huge pressure to react in the “right” way. Most assumed they’d cry with joy and felt awkward when they didn’t. Others were rendered a bit mute. One woman responded to her boyfriend’s “Will you marry me?” delivered on one knee with the question “Are you proposing?” Apparently, he was.
Another was in a restaurant when her bloke did the knee thing and delivered a small speech asking her to marry him. “But I just ordered calamari” she said.
I know someone who climbed the Harbour Bridge where a man in her group proposed to his girlfriend at the top with much flourish. She said no. “Everyone was very quiet on the way down,” my friend remembers.
A brief word about knees. They seem to be pretty much ubiquitous and if pushed, most women will say they expect you to be down on at least one of them. But when it actually happens, the truth is that everyone can feel a bit stupid. This is especially true for girls who don’t like a fuss – of which there are many.
Just like not every bride is a Bridezilla, not every woman wants a marching band or even a knee. Says one: “I was shocked when my husband got down on bended knee in the middle of Paris to propose. It should have been the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me, but I was mortified. I was too busy telling him to “get up off the ground!” to say “yes” .
My favourite proposal stories are the mundane ones. Like the couple who were sitting at home one night watching TV when she got up to go to the loo. “I was going to wait until this weekend but I can’t,” he blurted out from the couch in his jocks. “Marry me!” Another friend had been desperate for her partner to propose when, a week before their eighth anniversary, close friends phoned to announce their engagement after only six months of dating. After congratulating them, she burst into heaving great sobs of disappointment. Alarmed, her partner ran to the garage where he’d stored The Ring for their anniversary dinner and made a mad dash back to the bedroom. “I can’t stand to see you so upset!” he exclaimed. “Marry me!”
And this: “My husband never actually proposed, it just sort of came up in agreed conversation. I designed the ring and when he gave it to me I was in the bathroom. And then when he gave me the ring I hated it, so I had it reset. None of it mattered” she shrugged. “I love him.”
Interestingly, all three of those proposals happened in the 90s. Before those bloody viral videos…
Comments
132 Comments so far
WOW! I bawled my eyes out watching that! I literally have tears down my face
I was beautiful and heartfelt.
It didn’t feel like a production made for competition.
I love it how all different kinds of friends and family were included to share in their private moment. That’s not unusual, but this time they helped as they were all in on it
I had an incredible elaborate proposal myself. My husband has been big with gestures and planning since the very start start and I truly love it. He is constantly surprising me and blowing me away. It’s not a competition to us, but after a few jokes from others insinuating that it was, we stopped sharing these moments with others. We record all our memories for us, and only share when people ask about details.
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I don’t care that this is clearly “not the cool thing” to admit….
But I would not mind one little bit having an over-the-top proposal!
Mind you, knowing my partner, it would never, EVER be like that. He would absolutely be the kind to be sitting on the couch and one day turn to me and say, “Oh okay, it’s been long enough. We should probably get married, eh?” (We’ve been together for 6 years.) “Oh, and I haven’t bought a ring, I didn’t want to get you something you wouldn’t like, so you have to go and choose it.” (He is the most practical, no-nonsense man alive!)
And you know what – that would be PERFECTLY fine with me!
But I’m guessing there’s a teeny tiny part of almost everyone that wouldn’t mind red and red helium balloons, the Eiffel Tower, four dozen post-it notes with what he loves about you, a hundred red roses, a plane spelling out your name … wait, I’m getting carried away.
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I’d be mortified if my partner embarked upon some elaborate (and especially if it was public!) proposal.
I am quite open to getting married but the whole engagement/hens/kitchen tea/wedding business leaves me feeling very nervous – it just seems like an outrageous waste of money and energy and so much stress to get organised. I’m not the sort who enjoys being the centre of attention either.
I do draw the line at being asked while on the toilet though!
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We were sitting on top of a hill, enjoying the view and the moment, when he suddenly asked me if I wanted to marry him-in english, even though we don’t speak english usually, and without a ring, which didn’t bother me really. I was very surprised and shocked, and my response was “are you sure, but what about our families and everything?” At the time the problem was, that my dad was completely against our relationship and we had a distance relationship as well. After a few minutes talking and thinking I realised that all I wanted was him and agreed. I received a ring some months later.
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I loved that video! Good to see some happy in the world – with an awesome sense of humour!
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I was sitting on his knee… does that count? I’m one of those people for whom a ‘fuss’ is important, but I don’t mean that it should be choreographed and recorded for all to see… that just seems silly. But here’s the thing. When a couple has been together a long time, probably living in a ‘marriage’ relationship, it seems to make sense that a thought out and intimate proposal is not enough. Our proposal was spectacular because it genuinely sparked a major change in our lives.
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My husband was most worried about the competitive sport that is “The Rock”. Which always ends in that awkward request from other women to “show us ya rock”, and to him that just seemed tacky and way too much pressure. Lucky for him I had my grandmothers 1950′s engagement ring, which was all I’d ever wanted, the big rock isn’t really my style.
When he did end up asking it was the perfect mix of fuss and us. He’d filmed himself popping the question and then pretended we were snuggling up in bed to watch a Friday night movie (after I’d washed my face, brushed my teeth and got in my PJ’s) Then when he pressed play it was THE MOMENT – I was shocked (admittedly I thought it was a sex tape, and we’re not that kind of couple) then squealed and laughed and it was such a lovely moment, and completely unexpected! So many of our friends have asked to see the video, but we’ve kept it to ourselves, he says he was more nervous filming it than playing it!
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I was one of the ones where the down on one knee was mortifying! We were totally alone (except for our 2 dogs who were with us) and he got down on one knee. I shut my eyes and looked away while he was telling me to look at him. He asked me to marry him and I said “Yes now GET UP!!” lol He got up and I finally looked at him and then the ring. Was a weird feeling him on one knee!
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I would feel the same way. Knowing me I would get down on one knee too.
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That would have been hella awkward if she said no.
Perhaps the strategy behind the overly elaborate and public proposal idea is to ensure you at least get a yes out of guilt if she doesn’t actually want to marry you?
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……mine was the number one news story on Brian Henderson’s last night on channel 9……….ok I’m running away now………
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Cathy, I just googled it, so sweet! You seem like a wonderful couple xo
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My husband proposed in lacklustre fashion on the balcony of his parent’s house. Didn’t matter a jot.
A friend was proposed to while she was on the loo in their en suite. Similar to the story above, they were due to go our for a romantic dinner and while she was ‘indisposed’ and he was brushing his teeth at the basin beside her, he proposed. Complete with a mouthful of toothpaste. He intended to propose during dinner but decided he couldn’t pull it off in a manner that befitted the occasion so he decided just to blurt it out there and then.
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that video was so embarrassing…
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Oh dang it, I’m crying.. I thought it was beautiful. Yes, a smidgen OTT but who cares? To have so many people love you. What a lucky woman.
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My fiance proposed in our bedroom, which was really where we fell in love. It was a total surprise! It was Valentines Day and I thought we were going out for dinner, so I trudged upstairs after a long work day to chuck on a dress and head out. But he was standing in our room with…A PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!! I’d been begging for a dog for years so I thought it was the ultimate V-Day present. But then he got down on one knee and popped the question.
Turns out he’d also arranged with my boss for me to take a few days off straight afterwards, and he took me up to a beautiful resort in the rainforest!
It was pretty much perfect. We’re not flashy, we’re just overworked and tired, so it was lovely to have a few private days to ourselves (and our new pup!) to enjoy being engaged.
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Sounds awesome! I like that he softened you up first with a puppy.
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1: this video made me laugh and cry – good on him. not everyone wants to do the extravaganza, and as some of these replies show, not everyone wants to be on the receiving end either :]
2: I proposed to my husband, on bended knee, in a photo booth with a curtain… which meant those outside could only see our lower limbs ahem :}
he sat there literally stunned and I suggested he say yes or no soon, to save the sensibilities of the onlookers. I am still thrilled, 13 years later, to say that he said “yes!”
3: nothing OCD about me lol
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Little upset Mia kept saying when the guy proposes, what about us girls? My mum proposed to my dad and one day id love to break with tradition and propose to someone. Little weird she bought up the whole marriage equality thing but does it all go out the window with who proposes?
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I love reading all these stories!! I think that however someone is proposed to, if it was right for them then that is beautiful and romantic.
I hope that when my time comes it’s intimate. I don’t think I’d like a public engagement, I just want to hear that he wants to spend his entire life with me =D
As for the ring – can I ask MM readers who have gone through it this, because it’s something I’ve always wondered… I don’t think I could ever pick out my own ring. I’m way too indecisive for one, and secondly – knowing me I’d pick the most expensive one in the shop (jk lol – you knwo when you’re looking through a magazine and the one thing on the page that draws yoru eye is alwayssss the most expensive?! that’s me! every time) . But I would never expect him to pay heaps of money for it – and I don’t think I coudl tell him “I want that one” which is going to cost x amoutn of money that you should pay for…
Did anyone feel weird picking out their ring in that regard?
I think I’d much prefer it to be a surprise,
Not that this is going to happen any time soon for me, I’m only just about to turn 20 but I do think about it hahaha.
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I would be quite happy if my man asked me while cuddles up in bed together.
He isnt good with organising things and being spontaneous. He is also a man of few words.
When he asked if I wanted to buy a house with him, I knew then and there he wouldn’t have if he didn’t see a serious long term future for us. So I know I have him already
We also don’t have to worry about a ring. My mum has my grandmothers engagement ring she wants me to have.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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I got proposed to 3 months ago on a Monday night after work, I had had an awful day at work and had cancelled plans to go out that night because of it, plus traffic was wretched driving home so I was all stressed out… but when I got home I saw two pink (of course!) post-it notes on the door, one with the lyrics of the very romantic song that was playing on the stereo (that I had previously said I would love to dance to at our wedding someday), and the other with things he loved about me… inside were more sets of two post-it notes and a trail of rose petals through the house leading to the bedroom, where he was waiting on one knee with a dozen roses and a stunning ring he had picked himself. We had just moved into our “forever home” as we call it a couple of weeks ago, and one of the post-it notes talked about us sharing our lives together in this perfect home, I was so touched that he thought to incorporate that into his marriage proposal, rather than a big event, it was a perfect moment!!
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That’s a beautiful proposal, congratulations!!
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Thanks minnimoo
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Love love love it!, very sweet and so appropriate. I have shed a (happy) tear for your both!
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I know these people and let me say when we heard this story (I was one of the lucky first to hear) us girls let out a collective sigh so loud the groom-to-be actually jumped in fright!
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My poor husband. A Friday night, on our way to a night out, and he got down on one knee in a lift and proposed. I think he was as surprised as I was! The problem was we’d only been going out for 3 weeks and all I could think was “what the!”. I still feel sad that I said let’s wait (not no) and didn’t jump up and scream yes, and that I couldn’t be spontanious! But it was the right thing for me.
There is a happy ending though! A few months later we were just having a casual dinner at my brother and his wife’s place. We went outside for a cigarette (yuk, we both used to smoke). I asked him to ask me again so he did, via a stupid voice changer gun thin they had lying around, which is now a family heirloom. I said yes, we used my late mum’s eternity ring which I loved, and got married in Vegas with 10 friends and family. We’re still happy together 16 years later.
Yes I loved the youtube proposal because that was their thing. We have a laugh about how we got it all started – it was obvious we were going to be together, no matter how or when the proposal happened.
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My husband and I were travelling back from QLD and we got talking about the rugby union season. Next then we knew a date was set that did not clash with the bledisloe and we were engaged. Not even sure we even asked each other, it was just a given! Would not change a thing….
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I loved it! I cried and laughed! I loved it! Was it totally OTT? Yep? But that is why I loved it! My guy would never have done that and that is okay, it isn’t us. We got engaged while in the middle of a silly fight, the least romantic way possible and that was nearly eleven years ago! I’m totally cool with our story, because that is us!
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I’ve been proposed to three times, including on the top of the Arc d’Triumph at sunset.
I married the most understated, unprepared one because I knew he was the perfect guy for me. All the bells and whistles seem a little silly compared to someone promising to love you for the rest of their life.
mummyateme.blogspot.com.au
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What’s your secret?! I’m eagerly awaiting my first!
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We went out for dinner and then he proposed on the walk after. I knew he was going to as I’d picked the ring,it was just unsure of the exact time.
I think the public proposal puts pressure on the bride and groom, for a positive response after a “wow” proposal. As for ragged nails wrecking photos… Come on people. Who cares about such things?
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I am so glad I wasn’t proposed to in public, partly because OMG how embarrassing and also because my actual reaction was to say ‘are you sure?’.
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At least 2 of my friends have said the same thing.
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damn that video made me cry
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1. I don’t even know that many people!!
2. What will they have to do for the wedding?
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First proposal – down on one knee christmas day beside me bed. He had written a incredibly beautiful letter why he wanted me as his wife. I said yes and married him.
Second proposal – I was sitting at my computer in our living room writing an about me section for an assignment. I complained that I didn’t know what to call him – bf or partner etc… He said how about fionce? And pulley out a ring. He had bought the ring a month before and was waiting for the time. I said yes but we never got down the isle.
I advised my current boy that due to my track record I will only say yes if I’m proposed to on the eifel tower, and married by Elvis in Vegas
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I’ve always said I’d say no if proposed to in an elaborate and/or public way as it would prove the guy didn’t know me at all. I would hate fuss. Simple, private and low-key for me.
If it suits the couple, then go for it and do whatever you want. I just wouldn’t like it for myself.
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My future husband took me to the beach one night, when I was visiting, as we were in a long distance relationship.
We sat in his car looking at the water in silence. He then announced he had to pee.
Off he went, came back sat down and turned the car on and we drove off in silence. I sat there thinking “well that is just weird”.
Approx 1km down the road he suddenly pulled over again. Yes another pee stop! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEN”S BLADDERS???
As it turns out he had a serious case of the freaked out nerves.
As we drove ahead (again in silence) he suddenly blurts out “how would you like to come and live with me next year?”
I said “ummm ok?”
His response “Well…I suppose we should get married then”.
Apparently after that we were engaged.
We were really young, but hey, many many years later still together.
The ring, the proposal, the wedding, it is all so fleeting.
What is important is the two of you, growing together as individuals and also as a couple.
It’s bloody hard work but it’s so worth it.
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I think the viral lip synch proposal is gorgeous. I would love to participate in something like that for a friend!
I don’t think people should see proposals like this as a ‘challenge’ to better. Every proposal is unique and represents a perfect combination of (a) what the proposer thinks the proposee would want, and (b) what the proposer is comfortable with doing… if that makes sense!
I would think a proposal would have to go pretty badly (i.e. an ex be mentioned) for the recipient to be unhappy with it!
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I don’t know. My hubby proposed in a quiet, personal way – just like him actually! I think it’s a bit sad that people are saying that OTT proposals are “hideous” or “I would hate that”. I think any which way people propose is beautiful and romantic. If it suits the couple then how can that be wrong or hideous?? Ahhhh, people are very cynical these days just cause people share their joy on the web……
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Hubby tried to be romantic but our small son kept thwarting his plans! He had planned to make home made bread and bring in a tray of tea and toast for breakfast and propose but our son kept waking up unusually early. Eventually he ended up proposing when we were going to bed. We always have an evening cup of tea which he makes and he bought it in as I was changing into pj’s. He was quite insistent that I sit down to drink it. I had a few sips and noticed something at the bottom of the cup. I pulled out one of my rings from the cup and looked at him and he proposed! I said yes after laughing for a bit at being half naked and the possibility I could have choked. We didn’t bother with an engagement ring,just switched one I already had to the right finger. We choose our wedding rings together in the little Irish shop at the Rocks in Sydney and wouldn’t trade them for a fancy diamond set.
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A wedding proposal in a cuppa. My type of proposal!
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As if the engagement pressure wasn’t bad enough…. don’t get me started on the wedding!
I have always wanted a small, intimate wedding – I don’t like being the centre of attention, and also find it hard to justify spending so much money on one day. Anyway the small wedding we wanted has been taken on a crazy ride, once families got involved. It is still small-ish (80 people) but we have parents friends coming etc… I would love to pull pin and just have a registry ceremony and a lunch afterwards in Melbourne, but we already have friends and family (one from London!) who have booked flights to where our wedding is going to be (our home town).
I don’t feel like I will enjoy the day because I feel so overwhelmed by it. I have come to the conclusion that the “wedding” is really for family, more than us. We are counting down till we are husband and wife, then can escape for our honeymoon!
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I’m not married nor engaged but have SO MANY friends who share your sentiments… most actively disliked planning their weddings and nearly all had far bigger and more expensive weddings than they’d wanted due to pressures from family.
I’m genuinely surprised at how many of my friends have said that if they had to go back and do it again they’d elope or go to a registry office! Even though I’m not a weddingy type I still was under this false impression that all women dream of their ‘perfect day’ and adore planning it. I would estimate about only 20% of my married/engaged friends actually fit that description.
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Mrs F tricked me into proposing. She cooked my favourite steak dish in foil one night, and got me in a weak moment. Besides, it was raining, and I couldn’t go home yet…….
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Oh man, I am SO thankful for this post and having read the comments – I don’t feel like freak anymore!!
Me and the boy had a convo four years ago about how we felt like the timing was right to get engaged, having been together for 6 years, so we did. Then we had another convo last year about how we felt like we were ready to get married – as long as it was as low key as possible – so we did. There was no bending down on one knee or surprise proposal… We both knew what the plan was and wanted to do it and that was the most romantic thing for me! Wouldn’t have wanted it any other way – it was all very ‘us’ and natural, but still super exciting
And yet I’ve had people almost keel over in shock and/or horror when they ask how he proposed and I tell them that it didn’t happen like that… Yes, he told me he wanted to get married – but I did too, so it wasn’t a question that he had to pop. And same again for when I get asked about my ring… We both went shopping together, I picked out mine and made sure he liked it and he picked out his and made sure I liked it! I’ve found people to be very judgy on this topic… I get it if you wanted the big proposal and surprise ring – but I didn’t, not sure why people find it so offensive
it’s as if some people think that the bigger the proposal, the bigger the fuss and the more is spent is indicative of how much the couple love each other, but that’s just not true. You couldn’t find two people more in love than me and my husband!
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Nice! X
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I was on holiday in Thailand and had my engagement ring made. I bought it back and gave it to my man and waited for him to give it to me! Yes people thought it was weird but I took advantage of having a beautiful ring made much cheaper. He didn’t mind a bit
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I would be happy with A proposal. After six years of marriage and three weddings (different countries) he still hasn’t actually proposed.
I had been forced to leave Oz as I couldn’t get a spousal visa and he wasn’t ready to marry, so we were technically not a couple when he called me in Denmark and said “come back, I’ll even marry you if I have to”. That’s as close as I got…
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Oh dkmum that is so funny!! Sorry but it is and reminds me of my situation. Married but not sure how as never been proposed to! I just wish there had been some thought, some romance. I’m not an ott kind of girl and he’s a very quiet no fuss man but I admit to little pangs of sadness when anyone describes their proposals. Mia your three examples of preferred proposals make me feel better!! Don’t worry dk. Next husband perhaps
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I loved my proposal. Maybe all the more since I wasn’t even remotely expecting it as both my husband and I had been ambivalent about marriage (at best) for ages. Whenever people bought it up we’d both always say we were happy enough without it, and when we first met we’d only intended to have a very casual relationship.
After a couple of years of being together we were lying in bed one night, and I had just drifted off, when he said he had something to ask. I assumed he was planning to go fishing with friends and only had a passing interest in what he was saying until he got to the word marry lol. I think he was as surprised to be asking as I was to find myself saying yes! It just hadn’t even occured to me that it was something either of us wanted as much as we clearly did. So I don’t think it follows that people who’ve lived in long term relationships are expecting marriage to come up, I’d think it’d be quite the opposite.
Nothing beat’s my brother in law though. He was leaving for work early one day, woke my sister in law up, threw a box with a ring in it at her as he walked out the door and said “You figure it out.”. Romance in action
Seems the men in my husband’s family have a thing for catching their partners while unconcious lol.
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I proposed to my husband. He knew it was coming (ha!) as we’d put the ring on layby together and when he picked it up he suggested I do it as his only thought was to put it on my finger while I was asleep… but I’m one of those people that you don’t touch when they’re asleep unless you want to be hit, I tend to come up swinging.
Our anniversary was coming up and I’d bought him one of those BBQs with all the bells and whistles. The day before our anniversary I had it delivered and then under the hood I had helium balloons (that were tied in there, I didn’t want them flying off anywhere) and the ring with a note saying “Will you marry me?” He got home to find me sitting outside near the BBQ which had the cover on it and a bit of ribbon and he was checking it out thoroughly – kind of a version of circling a car and kicking the tyres, really – and he lifted the hood, the balloons came up and there was the ring. He laughed for a bit, I think I really managed to surprise him, and then put the ring on my finger… and that’s about it, really.
Not OTT or anything, but that’s not our style. The funniest bit was being able to say I got the ring and he got a BBQ which he certainly wasn’t expecting… but his mates had been talking recently about how they give a ring and don’t get an engagement “token” in return and he was able to say that in this case he did. And, now I think about it, it was eight years ago today that I proposed… we’ve been married seven and a half years, have a six year old, a very nearly five year old (birthday is on Thursday), one due in August and an assorted menagerie of animals… it’s been a wild ride so far.
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I would never want a huge OTT marriage proposal from my bf. I’d never want to be proposed to in front of a lot of people (in a fancy restaurant, say), i’d just want it between the two of us. I wouldn’t need the bold ‘WILL YOU MARRY ME’ sign written in the sand or rose petals, i’d be perfectly happy if he proposed in front of the tv on one knee! I think the relationship itself is more special than the proposal/wedding
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My engagement was very low key. husband had cooked a lovely risotto dinner and shaped the dinner into a love heart on my plate, as soon as i saw it he jumped onto one knee and proposed
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A lot of pick and choose feminism on this site Mia. I’m really surprised that this page isn’t full of ladies who proposed to their husbands.
I couldn’t live with myself wearing diamonds knowing how many people die and what lies behind the diamond industry.
Pick and choose.
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Agree 100%. The whole engagement ring thing is an invention of de Beers to sell what would otherwise be worthless lumps of carbon and is a relic of a time when many women lost their virginity while engaged so the point was for the bloke to hand over a substantial lump of money first in the form of the ring to compensate her for being ‘damaged goods’ if he suddenly decided to shoot through after having sampled the wares. Surely we’ve moved beyond that?
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But they are so pretty…
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Soooo pretty. Lighten up peeps!
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Yes, I think the engagement ring thing is such a wank.
Sure, they’re pretty. But they’re so unoriginal. And, as with most consumer purchases, I know the fun of receiving it and showing to everyone would shortly wear off. Don’t you get bored with your accessories? I know I do.
Assuming I get proposed to one day, I’m going to let my boyfriend know ahead of time that I don’t particularly want one. There are so many better things to spend OUR money on!
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Or maybe, some know their partners like to be the one to propose. How about finding out how many women have proposed on 29th Feb?
There are now diamonds you can get that are “cruelty free” or manufactured diamonds, or Argyle diamonds from WA, if you’ve got the funds. OR, if you like jewellry, but have ethical concerns about diamonds, get alternatives: estate jewellry, other precious gems, bracelets or necklaces instead, or even non jewellry. Someone above gave her husband a BBQ, for example.
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a BBQ vs.a diamond ring, be still my heart, who wins there.
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“Or maybe, some know their partners like to be the one to propose.”
I know not to help my wife with the housework, because I know she likes to be the one to do it. Or at least I assume, based on on past values.
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A Feb 29th proposal and Argyle diamond here…
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Feminism isn’t about going out of your way to do the opposite of the norm – it’s about having a choice. Being proposed to doesn’t make you a bad feminist. Feminism is all about being able to “pick and choose”
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I completely agree with this Lou. And as for women not being the ones to propose, perhaps Mia didn’t discuss it because it’s just not exactly common. It’s not like she said anything against women doing it so I don’t think it’s an issue of feminism. If you want to propose, do it. If you don’t want an engagement ring, don’t have one. I’d prefer to be proposed to and I want an engagement ring but I wouldn’t judge anyone for their choices to do otherwise and I shouldn’t be judged either. Who cares? Each to their own!
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troll alert.
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Who: the two of us with our one year old munching on vegemite toast
What: marriage proposal of course!
When: Christmas Eve breakfast.
Where: a nice cafe where we’d had our first date 8.5 years earlier and had come to frequently since then.
It was a total surprise for me and the whole thing was very ‘us’. :0) nothing to ‘fancy’
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I was proposed to on holiday, the same resort in the Maldives where we had our first holiday together. My man had chosen the ring…..I absolutely adore it! We celebrated with champagne. Our wedding was typically low key too, just us in Vegas. Perfect!
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Is the Maldives all that it’s cracked up to be? Lie lol…thinking of going for our anniversary.
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It’s the only place I’ve been too that is even more beautiful than the pictures. I can’t wait to go back! A tip for you though the cheaper resorts still have the gorgeous beaches and warm seas, I don’t think the super expensive ones warrant the extra they charge.
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I’m actually more shocked by how much some people spend on engagement rings these days. I know 2 girls who said they would expect at least $15,000 to be spent (one got the ring the other is still waiting). if you expect that for the ring what do you expect to be spent on the wedding?
This isn’t jealousy talking either. I have a beautiful Tiffany’s diamond engagement ring but i know it was a reasonable price and i would have been mortified if my husband had spent much more. he would have had to miss out on a lot to do that and the money would have been better spent on a house.
an expensive ring doesn’t mean he loves you more and i think it’s also a competitive thing.
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I agree 100% you should never spend more than you can afford on a diamond ring. But of the the ‘wedding’ stuff to splurge on, surely the ring is what to do it with? The wedding day will fade away into memory, but you wear your ring every day for the rest of your life and after 60 years of marriage it will be worth much more than the original pricetag.
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Couldn’t care less about all the trappings. The offer of marriage itself is romantic enough for me.
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100% agree and what a beautiful thing to say
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Loved it! Life can be full of so much ordinariness -this was extraordinary – and whether it was video or not – this family will remember this beautiful experience and in sad times the memory will make them smile. If any one in my family wants to do a ‘whoa!’ proposal I would be honoured to be ask to participate.
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My husband proposed to me while I was packign our car to go camping, I think I marched into our room telling him if he hasn’t finished packing his bag, he is going with whatever he had on. I found him on bended knee.
Funny thing was, cos we had a surprise wedding at our engagement party, we had set a date, I had the dress, he had the suit etc months before he proposed but he was still nervous. We celebrated our engagement by camping with my parents and their 50 year old friends.
The decission to get married was the most unromantic thing, we were sitting on the couch, it came up that we had been together for a while and maybe we should get married and how could we do it with the least fuss. We discussed eloping but our parents would kill us so we settled on the surprise 2 for 1 combo.
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I just recently got proposed to a couple of months ago. I had the anti-bridezilla approach and laughed instead of cried (NOTE: I said yes!) so I totally relate with the whole pressure to react in the right way. Being someone that never/rarely cries in life this was one of those times where a tear just wasnt forthcoming. In my mind I was thinking, wow he ordered the ring, he planned this whole thing (picnic) and he has been waiting for this moment and I was just surprised and happy about it. Now for the wedding.. if I can somehow find the waterworks so that my inlaws dont think im as cold as ice! …
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Just be true to yourself, dont worry about the inlaws perceptions! Start off as ou mean to go on!
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I don’t get the big over the top proposals, engagement rings, weddings etc. it’s about your relationship and your marriage. I can’t help but think it says a lot about a relationship when the guy wants to impress the world instead of just keeping it simple and meaningful and Lowkey. A marriage is about 2 people and no $50k ring, over the top wedding, engagement or honeymoon is going to compensate. I had this same conversation this morning with my husband out at brekkie. When all the material stuff goes down the drain, when you turn off the tv – do you still have what it takes to make it? People get caught up way too much in all the secondary stuff. When u truly love someone with all your heart that’s what matters. I have a lovely ring but usually wear a plain gold band. That band means the world to me and what it means to me than any diamond ring ever will as special as it is, I like the simple and heartfelt.
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Totally agreed! I was just saying the same thing to my husband the other day… Too many people are caught up in having a wedding, rather than getting married.
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100% sorry abt typos rushing when typing on phone.
Forgot to mention. My proposal. Cork Ireland (husband Irish) out for a walk having a laugh and talking aboit how much we love each other, best friends having a silly laugh and he turns to me and proposes right on top of a gorgeous hill with view of all the valley. Simple, romantic and goooorgeeeous view with sunlight shining thru the clouds. Tearing up now 3 years later.
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