Take. The. Rubbber. Gloves. Off.
Thanks for playing, blokes who like to do a little washing up or indulge yourselves in a sneaky vacuum – but it’s the gardeners and reachers-of-objects-on-top-shelves, who the ladies really love.
A new study has revealed (dramatic reveal time guys, wait for it… wait for it…) that men who do traditionally ‘masculine’ chores around the house are rewarded with MORE SEX.
That’s right. Cue trumpets. Cue trombones. Cue bloody big drums. Cue a whole marching band of sexual awesomeness coming your way – but only if you’re a man who is handy with a spanner and a wrench.
Dustpan-and-broomers on the other hand? Well, it seems that you’re going to be using your hand for a little longer, if you, ah, know what we mean. The Telegraph reports that:
Sociologists from the University of Washington in the United States found that on average couples jointly spent 34 hours a week on traditionally female jobs and 17 hours a week on tasks generally considered to belong to the man’s domain…
…However, those in marriages where the wife did all the traditionally female tasks reported having had sex about 1.6 times more per month than those where the husband did all the “feminine” jobs.
Now obviously this study (with no offense meant in anyway whatsoever to the fine people at the University of Washington) is a total joke. Because it’s a proven fact that amount of sex had, is directly proportional to the sexiness of the man DOING the chores, rather than the inherent sexiness of the chores themselves.
We present for you, exhibit A, courtesy of mommyshorts.com and the Porn For Women book, a gallery of lovely looking young men doing both ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ housework.
See? Irrefutable proof. All sexy.
I love a clean house.
Moreover (we’re using words like ‘moreover’ so that the studiers of this very intellectual topic take us seriously), a very scientific and accurate poll of the Mamamia team revealed that the so-called femininity or masculinity of a chore had absolutely no bearing whatsoever on whether we found blokes doing those chores ‘sexy’.
Some of us are partial to men who sweep (inside and outside brooms both permissible). Others prefer a bloke who cleans the pool (this was an actual honest-to-god response and somehow the respondent managed not to use a ridiculous streotypical latino accent).
One spoke wistfully of her boyfriend putting together outdoor furniture, while another described an argument that went from tiff to World War III in a manner of minutes over the very same household responsibility.
Cooking was probably the greatest divider of the office. With the numbers split 50/50 on its merits as a sexually exciting chore. Oven mitts away boys, until you get to know her better.
Our very scientific (and revealing!) conclusion? Well. Women seem to like to have sex with sexy men. Also with funny men. Also with intelligent men. Also with kind men. And being generally helpful around the house, while a desirable characteristic in any human being you choose to live with, does not in and of itself merit sex.
Unless it’s making the wireless internet connection work again. Mmm.
Do you find that when your partner does a particular chore you find it sexually attractive? What’s your least favourite chore to see your partner doing?