Taylor Cotter
By LUCY ORMONDE
Taylor Cotter is worried.
At the age of 22, she’s finished high school, graduated college and has recently landed her dream job. She owns a car, lives out of home and pays her own rent.
Some would call her successful. But Taylor? She’s not happy. In a recent article for The Huffington Post called ‘A struggle of not struggling’ Taylor worries that she ‘gave up on youth’ by choosing the path of a full-time job and an adult life so early on.
She writes:
Two months after graduation, I seem to be one of just a handful of people that’s been able to get themselves on their feet, pay their own bills and actually put together some semblance of an adult life with minimal parental assistance.
I bought a car, found an apartment and set up a superannuation fund just six months after turning 22. I came down on the ‘right’ side of every statistic — I found a job in my field that actually pays well, I’m living on my own, and seem to have everything that these other college graduates are dying to have.
But what about that 10-cents-a-word life that I always wanted? What about New York City? What about freelancing, penning newspaper columns and urban adventures? What about the struggles that I see on the TV show Girls and the tales of credit card debt and ramen noodle dinners? Aren’t these the things that really make you 22…?
I suppose that I’m grateful that I can make all my car payments and start saving for retirement while most of my friends are living at home and working part-time jobs — but I often find myself lamenting the fact that I’m not living at home and not working a part-time job. From my perspective, these are just some of the life-changing, character-building experiences that I may never have.
Taylor is not the only person who thinks you need to have done it tough in order to appreciate the good times – it’s something I’ve seen my friends mull over whenever they’ve making big decisions about work or home life.
I’ve often wondered if I’ve somehow missed out because I’ve never eaten packet noodles to survive. I’ve had too many conversations with my girlfriends about “doing [insert life-changing, character-building cliche experience here] while we’re still young… you know, just because we can”.
And I’m laughing at myself right now. Because HOW ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS is that? To think that the only measure of life experience is whether or not you’ve lived on a backpacker budget.
But it happens all the time.
A few years ago when I wrote a piece about living at home until the age of 23, I was faced with comments from people who I assume to be the former residents of Struggle Town. The fact that I went through my four years of uni living in the house I grew up in and not paying rent didn’t sit well with the people who did it tougher when they were my age. Apparently, I didn’t know what I was missing out on. “There is a reason why so many successful people are a product of a cash-strapped upbringing or youth”, I was told huffily, more than once.
Wait…. Were they trying to say I’d never be successful because I didn’t pay rent? Or just that I’d never be able to appreciate success if it did come my way?
These days I do pay rent. And it sucks. But I’m not sure that having struggled financially has made me a bigger, better or more whole person. It just means I can’t afford expensive jeans.
There seems to be a mentality out there that if you’ve done it harder than other people, you’re somehow more deserving of success. That you don’t know the true value of money unless you’ve earned and scraped by on your own.
“I have always worked hard and saved,” protested one of my friends in a similar situation to me. “Does that mean I don’t appreciate what I have been able to do in life? Absolutely not… I am so thankful of the opportunities that have come my way. And I’ve worked bloody hard for them.”
Do you really have to fail in order to succeed? Is struggling the only way to build resilience and character? I don’t think so. Just like I believe you can still appreciate the taste of lobster even if you don’t know what it’s like to eat canned tuna everyday for lunch.
Do you think everyone needs to do it tough to appreciate good times and good fortune? Did you?
Comments
168 Comments so far
My name is Ben. benwalton z http://tes3t.co
loading...
No. You dont need to do it tough to br successful. In fact, the richer & more support you have – the easier time you will have in becoming successful.
loading...
Why doesn’t she do some volunteer work or give to charity? You don’t have to live the struggle to learn from others and appreciate what you have.
loading...
Just remember she is only 22, if she is worried she hasn’t yet exprienced finanical hardship, there are plenty of years ahead of her to get that under her belt!! I got a degree and lived at home for most of the time I was at uni and didn’t have any finanical issues until my husband and I had kids! That’s a completely different ball game and while I never thought I was poor, we did live off what most people might consider ‘poor’. Those hardships have definately helped me appreciate the simple things in life and we do manage our money differently because we know how stressful times can be when you are limited financially. So I think she is a little ahead of herself, she may never have to worry, and I hope she doesn’t, I hope most people don’t. However if you do, appreciate that time in your life as you learn what is important in life and hopefully when things look better for you, you recall what you used to live off and it was possible and life wasn’t really as bad as you thought it could be.
loading...
I can definitely appreciate where she is comming from. I am 21 and 6 months ago I was offerred basically my dream job and I actually had some real thinking to do! I obviously wanted to take it, but I also knew that I would be missing out on all the things I wanted to do while young, backpack around the world and live overseas and not have any real responsibilties for as long as I could manage. But in the end I took the job and I’m glad I did, life is long, there are a lot of years to do all the things I want and I am determined to do them all. I may or may not ever have to live on 2 minute noodles, but I won’t let myself miss out on the life experiences i feel are important.
loading...
Good on you for having the self awareness to realise that your character may need building, many your age don’t.
I know plenty of ‘privileged’ individuals who have ‘made it’, yet are desperately lacking in character.I also know individuals who had to fight for everything they’ve got, but are also total pains in the arse. Sometimes what doesn’t kill you doesn’t make you stronger, it may just make you really bitter and tired.
There are many ways to build character, going without money is just one of them.
Be assured of this; no one comes through this life unscathed. When your season of struggle arrives you will fortunate to have a great family to support you, don’t try and hasten its coming.
loading...
Played hard, worked hard and studied hard. Bought my first home at 26 with a mortgage and married at 29. Had 2 children in my thirties, divorced in my forties and lost nearly everything. Life is short so enjoy but do plan for the future as you never know what life will deal you. You don’t need to be sick to appreciate good health nor do you need to be poor to appreciate security.
loading...
If you’d ever been truly poor, you’d know that it’s not something you should feel sad about missing out on.
That said, being poor is DEFINITELY character-building. I’m 29 now and I look at younger people (people your age, Taylor Cotter) who live at home and enjoy their disposable income and go out every weekend and wear designer, and I do kind of think they’re pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, I was there once! I know exactly what that life is like. But it’s not REAL. It’s subsidised by mum and dad. And I don’t respect it. And I don’t respect the entitled, slightly bratty attitude that it encourages.
loading...
Taylor, you need to keep it up. At age 34, I bought my house outright for 750k after scrimping and saving since aged 23 when I started working. I do not own a tv, drive a ten year old corolla and wear old clothes. I have no partner and no kids. By age 37, I have saved one mil in the bank. I hope to save another mil and then I hope to work much less and live more. Sacrifice is everything.
loading...
…but your life sounds miserable. Money is nothing if you spend your youth being a tightarse workaholic when you could enjoy some of it.
loading...
It is truly hard to have it all. You are correct because what if i passed away tomorrow or was diagnosed with terminal illness, then it would have been all about work and no fun
loading...
I’m all for saving and stuff, but it sounds like you have a very well paying job, that allows you to save so much. by the way, I’m a bit jealous, that’s awesome
loading...
It feels awesome sometimes but at other times, it feels very empty. I work 70 hour weeks spread over 6 days in two and a half jobs. So it is not a fun existence.I get home to a large empty house and surf the internet.
loading...
when will you feel like you enough though? I know you say you want another mil in the bank, but surely, if invested well, you could live off the interest from the first mil in the bank. Time to travel , I say. Live life to the fullest. go around Australia, be frugal by all means, but get out and see what else is out there for a bit. good luck to you.
loading...
unfortunately, at age 37 even without dependents, one mil in the bank is not enough to stop work forever. Assuming a 5% interest rate, you get about 30k a year after tax. So I reckon you need at least two mil in the bank to be able to retire and live off the interest.
loading...
I hope you get there one day soon. then enjoy yourself, you would of earned it!
good Luck!!
loading...
That sounds like a miserable existence.
loading...
This article upset me. Simply because people are never happy for what they have. I hope this writer continues to be this comfortable in her life – that is wonderful. But if only she could really appreciate it while she has it. Everyone experiences true hardships in life (loss of parents, personal illness…these are the inevitables, but it can be much worse)
, it is a terrible thing to wish you had it harder. She cannot fully appreciate what she has right now. But can anyone at 22?
In terms of finances, isn’t it great that many of the responses to this article discuss times when people were strapped for cash…as they are pursuing further education? There can be a way out of the financial black hole in Australia, and that we should all be appreciative if that.
loading...
I do believe you need to be an underdog first to really appreciate what you have later on. If you have always been financially secure, then no I do not believe you will cherish financial successes quite as much as this who work from the ground up.
That said, there are other types of hardships in life that the wealthy can experience. Having money does not mean your life is easy (although it helps, I’m sure!).
Just as a side note…why are people so eager to advertise how hard they have had it? When you perceive your life to be ‘hard,’ why is it something to brag about?
loading...
I’m disappointed that the term ‘first-world problem’ is being used as an insult to make people feel that they can’t voice an opinion or share an experience simply because they’re privileged.
loading...
“But I’m not sure that having struggled financially has made me a bigger, better or more whole person.”
The sentence that followed is evidence that it hasn’t.
“It just means I can’t afford expensive jeans.”
By no reasonable measure would not being able to buy expensive jeans be considered struggling. Lucy, there are people out there in the community who can’t afford to buy enough food. Who have nowhere to call ‘home’. Single and low income parents who have to decide between paying the whole of the rent/mortgage payment or putting food on the table for growing children. Aged pensioners who struggle weekly with ever rising cost of living to the point that some of them won’t use appliances (like heaters in winter) to save on electricity.
You have no idea what it is to struggle.
loading...
Um isn’t that what the article says? LoL. Did you even really read it?
loading...
Huh? I read, how, according to the author (the Mamamia author not the author of the original Huffington Post piece) considers that she struggled because she couldn’t afford to buy expensive jeans.
I think you might be the one who needs to go back and read it, Anonymous.
loading...
it’s obviously a joke Ms Grumpy. Sheesh
loading...
He ‘obviously’ didn’t know. Is that ok with you? ‘sheesh’ , what’s that all about. being condescending to others seems to be a thing these days.
loading...
and yes, I know, ‘is that ok with you’ sounds condescending too, but you get my drift. Everyone feels the need to tell others who have posted something, that they’ve missed the point, or did you even read the article, or your wrong, etc. It’s annoying
loading...
Poor for me was not having a cent to my name nor a home to live in. I was fortunate to end up in a refuge and eventually got back on track thanks to Centrelink assistance.
Years later, I appreciate what I have but I don’t think I needed to experience poverty for that. All we have to do is walk through the city streets or turn on the news to see that others have it worse than we do.
loading...
You may not have to experience anything to still be scared of it. And I think Taylor is. And it’s normal. What of I lose my job, what if I get sick and can’t support my family? To be aware of the what ifs in life is ok, to be scared of them is ok. You will have pitfalls in your life and you will deal with them. You have what alot of people don’t have which Is education and a support system so don’t ever feel like your in a position where you don’t think you deserve to use them. Everyone is scared Taylor but don’t let it cloud your successful life with unworthiness.
loading...
This is the most ridiculous class privileged thing I have ever read. Me and my partner are full time students who live below the poverty line and have no option of taking the easy “live with the parents” route. Will my struggles make me a stronger person? Yes! Does that mean that rich kids can’t be as a good a person as me? No! You can’t deny that struggling builds character in some, but it’s wealth and hardship aren’t mutually exclusive.
90% of my friends live at home and pay minimal or no board, none of them know what it’s like to HAVE to work in a shitty job to pay the bills and survive. This attitude my generation has disgusts me.
loading...
You know, I kind of get it. I met my soul mate when I was 17. He was (is) my forst and only lover. Married at 22, kids at 25 and 29… I know how fortunate I am. But there were times in my 20′s when I’d look at my friends dating lots of men and going to parties and getting lots of attention from would be suitors and thought…. Maybe I’ve missed out.
Now at 30 (OMG I’m old!) i can see how lucky I am and wouldn’t change a thing. But time and experience taught me that, not random people on the innernet.
loading...
I was like Taylor – I got a job straight after university, found a great apartment, started my own business where it became incredibly successful, eventually bought my flat when I turned 30. But last year I realized I wasn’t living the life I wanted to be living. So earlier this year I packed my bags and moved overseas. It is tough – I’m in my 30s living like a student again. And while it is so hard to go from stability to having no idea what I am doing, I am loving it and I know I will get to where I want to be and it will be so worth it. You need to take a risk every now and then and have no regrets in life!
loading...
I’m a bit like Taylor. I moved out of home at 18. I had my own car at 21. Graduated university and landed my dream job at 23. I bought my first investment property at 24.
I have a great job but it is stressful. I work 45 hours a week. I work in health care and manage a team of 30. I’m 25.
But I think I’m poor. I think I’m poor because my fiancé and parents live overseas.. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over 6 years. It’s lonely. I think I’m starting to realise that you can have everything material but not being able to see the people I love every day kills me. I have put off marriage and kids for a job and money but sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.
loading...
many homeless people , once had a home. many unemployed, once had a great job, You never really know what’s around the corner, be careful what you wish for.
loading...
Enjoy life when it is going well. At your age there are still so many ups and downs that you will have to ride through ahead of you.
loading...
What is wrong with canned tuna for lunch? It’s not even cheap Lucy!!
loading...
But it’s cheaper than lobster!
loading...
sure, its all relative, but… who eats lobster for lunch, really?
loading...
Ah to be young again…
loading...
There’s a big difference between struggling to put food on the table and not being able to afford designer jeans. Which only proves you don’t know what you’re talking about.
loading...
I tend to agree here. Sorry Lucy, but the fact that (some) Australians equate not being able to afford designer jeans as “poor” while half the world starves to death kind of blows my mind.
Most “poor” students have enough money to pay for airconditioning, and enough caronas/vodka-raspberries to get absolutely tanked. Most of those who have “struggled to the top” and got rich did so in a country with framework, laws and institutions that made it possible.
Sometimes the lack of appreciation for our quality of life floors me.
loading...
If you are unhappy because your life is going too well, you are depressed. Go see a doctor. That your life is going well IS A GOOD THING. You should NOT feel bad about it. Get help. Soon.
loading...
This post really shows Taylor’s age and naivety. Credit card debt and 2 minute noodles is NOT struggling. Not being able to pay the rent and ending up on the streets is struggling. Trying to overcome addiction is struggling. Having a terminal or chronic illness is struggling. Losing a loved one is struggling. And further, the ability to appreciate life has nothing to do with how much money you have had or not had, for christs sake. Having gratitude comes from a mix of experiences, including see others struggle through hard times. This just comes from consciously thinking about what you have and what you need in order to be filled, and from gaining perspective through general life experience. For example, being there when a friend gets a divorce, loses a baby, or is diagnosed with cancer, develops perspective and can help you become more compassionate to other peoples problems even if you haven’t experienced them yourself. All you need to do is open your eyes and live your life.
Instead of whinging about thinking she’s missed something because she’s never been poor, she should put her energy into being grateful that she hasn’t struggled to pay bills yet, and look for a way to make a difference to the lives of those who are less fortunate.
I wonder if next she is going to lament that people who have had life-threatening illnesses think they are more grateful for their health than she is, oh, maybe she’s missing out because she hasn’t experienced that.
If I was Taylor I’d be careful what I wish for, because at 22, anything could happen. And it may never be anything to do with money or material possessions that alters her outlook on life. Still if she wants to really value the dollar for what it is, all she needs to do is visit a 3rd world country and see what it can buy for the people in those communities.
loading...
Well said! People who take their health for granted drive me a bit nuts! If she wants to experience being poor it’s really not that hard to give all her extra money to charity and live off basics (or less than basics) just like sooooo many people have to do every day! Sad she’s never faced hardship….man that is insulting!!
loading...
I don’t agree. Credit card debt and 2 minute noodles is definitely struggling. You don’t have to live in abject poverty to struggle. That is using the old ‘children starving in Africa’ line.
loading...
I completely agree. The post really does expose her age and naivete.
I was just like Taylor at age 22. Lived at home, lifestyle subsidised by mum, making my car repayments and saving for holidays, and considering myself “poor” if I had to abstain from dinners and movies for a week because my rego was due.
Boy am I a different person now, with a family and a mortgage and a small business. Now I really know what it means to lay awake at night and wonder how to make ends meet in order to keep my family off the street.
And, actually, yes I do think I’m better off for it. Even though the experience of living on the brink of economic collapse is not something one should wish for, I do honestly think it’s made me a better human being. I am no longer an annoying twit who thinks that expensive jeans somehow changes their life or makes them better.
loading...
I have been thinking about this all day- I think everyone should just make the most of their situation. I was poor at uni and I may think of it as character building just to make the most of the experience.
If I could have had money I would have made the most of that too- less anxiety about food and basic expenses would have been great.
No one choses to be poor for a good reason- it isn’t fun. So I say just enjoy what ever situation you are in and make the most of your opportunities poor of rich.
loading...
The main thing I wanna say is that Taylor, like the rest of us, could not choose the circumstances in which she was brought up in, the people who were a part of her upbringing, education, etc. I think she should stop comparing herself to whom she thinks are less fortunate than her and focus on ways to try find the “happiness” (maybe “fulfillment” is a better word) she longs for. Experience is what makes you you, so there are other ways to “be 22″, like volunteering at a homeless shelter or nursing home, or putting an effort into a community cause or organisation, for example. Taylor, stop complaining and do what you can, and not miss the things you will never know.
loading...
Not to state the obvious, but if it bothers her so much, why doesn’t she just quit her job and go backpacking? She’s 22. She’s got time. I’d call it a first world problem, but actually, I’m failing to see that there is a problem here at all.
loading...
So sad that everyone seems to have missed the point of the article entirely. Snarky comments here at MM are getting so boring.
Her point is that since she has never struggled, what would she do IF she ever had to struggle. I don’t think she is wishing she was living in Africa with flies in her eyes, is she?
As a general society, we are very privileged. The past 2-3 generations have never really had to struggle for anything. What would happen if we suddenly did? A very interesting point. Everyone wants the best for their children and yet very few have ever really struggled to have food on the table or been worried about paying the electricity. (please note I’m saying not everyone is privilaged but most – no flames for a change please!)
loading...
“The past 2-3 generations have never really had to struggle for anything.”
Bit of a generalisation don’t you think?
loading...
How did I know this sort of comment was coming? I said in general, if you read my post. Yes some people have struggled but across the board? We are a very lucky country and a very privileged few generations.
We haven’t had to ration our food like when our grandparents lived through world wars, we haven’t lived through a major depression, we haven’t had unemployment hit 30% like it has in past generations.
People struggled but IN GENERAL (again please note NOT EVERYONE) we haven’t truly struggled.
Not you specifically, but it would be great if people actually read posts before jumping in. As I said above and relishing in case it’s missed again “As a general society, we are very privileged. The past 2-3 generations have never really had to struggle for anything. What would happen if we suddenly did? A very interesting point. Everyone wants the best for their children and yet very few have ever really struggled to have food on the table or been worried about paying the electricity. (please note I’m saying not everyone is privilaged but most – no flames for a change please!)”
loading...
I find the comment about the past 2 or 3 generations not having to struggle for anything quite offensive.
I remember the days of 18% interest rates when I was at University, the Hawke Government had just introduced HECS and with a new baby in my first year of university it wasn’t easy street by any stretch of the imagination. There would have been 3 or 4 days each fortnight that we would run out of fresh food and be eating plain pasta or rice. We eventually got a half a dozen chooks so we could have fresh eggs. I lost count of the number of phone calls I’d have to make to creditors like power and water authorities pleading for extra time to pay the bills so the lights wouldn’t go out.
Throw in my first dose of cancer in 1992 as well as a flood that destroyed everything we owned and it was a little bit tough for a while, paying bullshit amounts on mortgages and personal loans because an inept government thought it was a good idea to use interest rates to control the economy.
I wasn’t the only one in that predicament, people were walking into banks and dropping their keys on the counter, if they weren’t doing that the banks were foreclosing at an alarming rate.
I guess the current crop of 20 somethings don’t remember that, and it’s not their fault, but I wouldn’t wish those times on anyone. This is a simplistic rendition of those years, but the point is that there are plenty of us who have had big struggles for any number of reasons over the years. At 22 I’d suggest that the young lady hasn’t lived long enough to have encountered a bunch of these things, as her working life is just starting.
She will though, I just hope she doesn’t have to put up with the crap that I’ve had to.
loading...
I have come to the conclusion that people on MM can’t read! Seriously?!? I said MOST MOST MOST people haven’t struggled, if you can’t understand that I’m not saying everyone has led a privileged life, then I can’t help you.
I’m not sure why people on MM seem to take everything offensively. I have never struggled like my parents had to, or their grand parents. My father came from overseas and lived through WW2 where their neighborhood was being bombed. I’ve never known THAT struggle and I pray to God I never do. I’ve never known the government rationing food. That is real struggle.
Again please NO FLAMES (for a nice change here on MM) it is a generalization because we are talking about SOCIETY not INDIVIDUALS!
loading...
Perhaps you don’t remember 18% interest rates.
Everyone with a mortgage struggled, we also had 10% unemployment so people were in fear of losing their jobs, and they’d only survive fora month before running out of money then losing their house.
Renting wasn’t cheap either, the government, in their ideological wisdon, decided that negative gearing was just a capitalist junket, so it was junked. As soon as that happened investors baled out of housing and there was a serious shortage of houses to rent. The reuslt was increased rents which people couldn’t afford.
Throw in 10% inflation, and wages not growing in line with the CPI because of Hawke’s accord and everyone was going backwards at a huge rate.
It wasn’t just me who had it tough, it was everyone who was trying to raise a family through the 80′s and early 90′s.
So your assertion that most people didn’t struggle is nothing more than speculation on your part.
I’m sorry if you think I’m flaming you, but you are quite wrong and obviously have no idea what it was really like.
Go back one generation and things weren’t so rosy for them either, they may have been in their 20′s during the boom of the 50′s, but there was a credit squeeze in the early 60′s and money wasn’t available for lending. That generation also had to endure their fathers being away at the war for years, or possibly not coming back at all. Those guys who did come back often had problems with alcohol and adjusting. The generation in between ahd the Vietnam war to deal with and the disgusting way the left wingers treated them when they came home, and the disgusting way the Government of the right ignored them.
So don’t you dare try to tell me the last 2 or 3 generations haven’t had it tough.
loading...
I’m talking about the generation now. You’re saying that there was a struggle in to 80′s and 90′s – when the current generation was about 5 years old or not even born. So no, they haven’t really had to struggle, unless 5 years olds were taking our mortgages.
As children, our parents try and hide difficult times. Any decent parents makes sure there is food on the table, even if it’s just for the kids. It’s extremely different now, then it was then.
I’m very fortunate to say that I’ve never known true struggle. Never not been able to pay a bill, never had to worry about not being able to pay food. I don’t know “true” struggle. None of my friends have known “struggle” and none of us come from wealthy families, it’s an average “middle” class family. Did my parents struggle? Absolutely. They were building two businesses and had a mortgage and loan to pay at the same time. They struggled BUT not that they’re comfortable (and have been for a very long time) they can really appreciate that they’re entirely comfortable.
Whereas my brothers and sisters, we have never struggled. We went to uni, got very good jobs straight out of uni, never been unemployed, easily saved up for a mortgage and even now, have no problem with whatever repayments are necessary. What would happen if that changed tomorrow? One – I’m not sure how we would cope. Also I don’t think we can very really appreciate being so financially independent and comfortable without knowing some hardship. I’m not hoping for hardship but I don’t think you can ever really appreciate your circumstances truly until you have experienced some hardships.
loading...
I understand the point of this article. While it is a “first world” problem, it is actually very interesting, Unlike our parents, the past few generations haven’t really struggled. Yes, there are hard times but we don’t know what it’s like to struggle. Our parents usually had to live with their own parents until they could afford a down payment for a house. They had to be second hand cars because they simply couldn’t afford new ones. They learned the value of struggling so they could really appreciate what they no longer had to struggle.
I’ve never struggled. My parents provided for us, anything we wanted until we were 18. After that, we had to “earn or learn” – we had to get a full time job or study. Once we did that, our parents would still cover anything we needed, if we couldn’t afford it, especially if we were studying.
As adults, most of my siblings and I went to uni. We still live at home but we all pitch in financially and with housework. We all earn our own cars (new ones) we all have large savings to purchase homes when we choose, we have each gone on an overseas holiday each year for the past 5-6 years. We can buy anything we want within reason. We have never struggled for anything and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if we suddenly had to. We’ve never had to worry about putting good on the table, how to pay a bill, what to do if we don’t have a car to take us anywhere we need to go. It’s possibly it could happen to anyone at this stage, given the economy we live in.
I think some struggle is important. If everything comes so easily so us, can we ever really appreciate when we’re financially secure?
loading...
Don’t you and your siblings feel guilty that your parents have made it possible for you to save up for home deposits, go on holidays, buy new cars etc??? Yes, you may have “pitched in financially” but I doubt you bore the full financial brunt, at least not equivalent to what you would have faced living outside the family home. Which necessarily means that your parents subsidised you. They subsidised the lifestyles of you and your siblings, all grown adults.
How much better off would your parents have been if you’d all attemped independence at age 18?
This bothers me, because I see an entire generation of parents forgoing their own comfort in retirement just so their adult kids can save up!
loading...
Yeah, this post is horrifying. It feels sort of offensive too, I mean be careful what you wish for, that one might come bite you in the butt and you might find yourself “struggling” to feed your kids and keep a roof over their heads one day! how romantic. “How I wish I was terminally ill, it’s supposed to build character” is right next to your post, or, “I wish I had lost my eyesight, it makes your hearing so much sharper”………I mean dude.
loading...
Oh, just thought of something: you could do what my cousin did! she has a wealthy daddy and a very protective mummy who started buying her appartments and cars when she turned 18, paid for every darn bill , even her gas bill. They put her in a top notch business school, after 2 years (just before graduation) she dropped out, enrolled in nurse school, got herself pregnant and is now ” pretend struggling” (although daddy still buys her houses when she wants to move). That could be your solution! “pretend struggling”!
loading...
This is a pointless article. Why is it being re-run on this site?
loading...
‘pointless’ is a subjective term. It passed our interest test and here it is….
loading...
Seriously? It just pissed me off and ruined my day.
loading...
Jeez, doesn’t take much to ruin your day.
loading...
Haha! Love it, talk about a first world problem. Reading an article on MM ruined your day. Read an article about na child being abused or murdered. THAT is the type of article that should ruin your day!
loading...
Who is kidding who, here ?
Taylor wants the world to believe that she is sad because she has never been poor. What rubbish ! But generally these re-runs from the HP are.
loading...
Give it time honey. You’ll have your bad times!
loading...
Jesus. Talk about first world problems.
loading...
lol if first world problems were on a spectrum, this one would be all the way up there with the ultra-violet….
loading...
I couldn’t help but laugh. I am sorry but man, it’s good to be a Westerner.
How does she imagine “struggling”? Only being able to afford a coffee when having lunch with friends? Or, being put in a position where you are so desperate that you join the sex industry just so you can make ends meet and have a sliver of independence?
I am sorry, but I found this post really frustrating. Is it just me?
loading...
no no.
loading...
Apparently she imagines struggling to be somewhere between Sex and The City and The Devil Wears Prada. You know you’ve lived a sheltered life when think eating bloody packet noodles is struggling!
“But what about that 10-cents-a-word life that I always wanted? What about New York City? What about freelancing, penning newspaper columns and urban adventures? What about the struggles that I see on the TV show Girls and the tales of credit card debt and ramen noodle dinners? Aren’t these the things that really make you 22…?”
loading...
Rising above poverty is not a necessary experience to become a rounded adult. I kind of get what she’s on about, but really she just needs to appreciate how lucky she is. Maybe if it bothers her that much she could do a bit of volunteering with a charity. Yes, she’ll miss some experiences, but life could throw her a curve all in the future that may test her just as much.
loading...
Did I miss something? The girls is only 22. There is still enough time for living it tough. I wish her all the best, but the fact of life is that there are seasons of good and not so good. Life may not always be this easy.
loading...
I totally agree. There will be bad times, it may not be financial but it might be health related or friendship or love or something else. Everyone has their time of struggling, it’s how you deal with it that counts.
loading...
I have had friends (ex friends unsurprisingly), tell me that I had everything handed to me on a silver platter.
I was homeschooled, went to a state college, then lived at home for 4.5yrs of uni. Mum & Dad paid for uni upfront, but my Centerlink pay (I think it was Austudy back then!) went into their account. There’s no way I could have afforded to move out whist studying full time, but home was often less than ideal with my darling deliquent brother and short tempered dad. They bought me my first car, but I worked a partime job looking after disabled kiddies in the evenings and weekends to pay them back.
I moved out of home soon after graduating, and struggled as a poorly paid baby nurse to pay rent, food etc. In order to get a level 2 position and more pay, I got my masters, studying and working full time. It was not fun.
In short, I think its important to remember that no matter how easy it may appear that others have it, we all have our share of life’s troubles.
loading...
I think we are confusing the issue a little bit. It seems to me that life will, sooner or later, throw you a curve ball and the fundamental test in all of it is resilience. A test of your character if you will. A test that usually stretches you to your limit, gives you an insight into your hidden strength, your resourcefulness, your ability to learn, forgive, grow.
As if you need poverty to experience that. Or go through it before you’re out of your twenties. As if you would actually WISH for it. For what? To tell others that you’re somehow all grown up? To prove to others how tough you are?
Nah. I don’t wish it for anyone, and I’ve gone through my share of tribulations. Nervous breakdowns and suicide attempts. Divorce. Single parenthood. Family estrangement and feuds. Poverty. Homelessness.
I wouldn’t wish for it just because it hasn’t happened to me, but I’m also supremely grateful for the personal insight it’s given me. That said, SUCCESS can give you personal insight.
Perspective. All this young ‘un lacks is perspective. And that will come with years and nothing else.
loading...
I love this comment, Sandra !! So well said, it’s almost like she’s the girl from Suddenly 30
loading...
Remember people! Financial stability and/or wealth is only ONE type of ‘success’. Just because you have this, doesn’t mean you’ve made it and don’t need to develop other skills and your character building is done. Hence why I know so many ‘empty’ very wealthy people (mind you I don’t know a lot, so this is obviously a minority)
loading...
Life has a way of knocking you about no matter what your financial status is. I think it’s just that at the age of 22, she doesn’t realise this yet.
loading...
Totally agree and when it comes…..
loading...
Some of the responses on here make me cranky. Taylor is 22 – this is her view of the world. This will be our children’s view of the world at 22, largely due to the privileged country we live in and our generations parenting style. How about we all keep that in mind when posting comments
loading...
Thank you Angela!
loading...
I too have never been poor and for that I am extremely grateful. I have had other struggles and obstacles to deal with along the way that have shaped/enriched my character without fantasizing about poverty completing my life experience!
loading...
I think it’s important to try to take all the “steps” in life. For example, live in shared houses, work in a fast food place, have all Ikea furniture etc.
Once you have passed that stage it is very hard to go back so I think if you can take all these steps then it enriches your life.
The people who are being rude and calling this lady names seem to be the “wankers” to me.
Good on her for having some perspective and being able to see life for what it is.
loading...
“There seems to be a mentality out there that if you’ve done it harder than other people, you’re somehow more deserving of success. That you don’t know the true value of money unless you’ve earned and scraped by on your own.”
That’s the real topic I believe.
I guess that if you were born with a silver spoon, an endless allowance and that continues through your life, then you can’t really appreciate what you have as much as someone whose worked there ass off for years to go from nothing to huge success. In my opinion anyway.
I for one get miffed when I see people getting ‘hand outs’, things that I don’t feel like they’ve really worked to deserve. But that’s life really isn’t it?
loading...
Taylor and I could swap lives for a week , kind of like “wife swap” .She can experience the struggle and a diet of two minute noodles, play the game of hide the bills under your pillow and pray that the bill fairy arrives , only drive the car on down hill routes cause theres not much petrol left in the tank and pay day is three days away .She can have a taste of the life changing ,character building life experience she fears she may never have.I in return can have a holiday from the cash strapped stress I endure and experience her premature sucess.Problem sorted .
loading...
Let’s make that a roll. You take 6 months, I take the rest.
loading...
First world problems indeed!
I’ve had a very poor upbringing & at 36 am just starting to feel like I’m financially becoming secure. My husband and I have followed our passions & somehow have made a pretty good living from them, but I do wonder about the level of comfort & privilege we’re raising our three daughters in.
I’m not saying that I want them to experience poverty or struggle, but I’d like to know that if they ever do fall on hard times, we’ve raised them with the resilience needed to get through moments.
Our girls are only young, but we’re committed to doing as much travel with them as we can as they grow to show them that most of the world isn’t as cosy and easy to live in as Australia. Having them see other ways of living should help them to not fall victim of the insular and self obsessed cukture we live in.
Good on the OP for realising she’s had it pretty good, a lot of people think it should be handed to them on a plate.
loading...
pahahahahhaha what an attention-seeking wanker!
loading...