Noah
by NOAH BRAND
Warning: Some of the below images are NSFW (not safe for work)
My body is a testament to high testosterone. I have a body type one sees a lot: male pattern baldness, plenty of body hair, builds both muscle and fat very easily. You see guys like me all the time, with our wide shoulders and wider beer guts. Burly sonsabitches, often rocking the shaved-head-and-beard combo. It is not, it’s fair to say, a body type that is highly lauded by media culture.
I didn’t always look like this. When I was a teenager, I was so skinny I won awards for dressing as Jack Skellington, which sounds like a joke and isn’t. When I was twenty, I dressed as Nightwing for a costume contest, and the woman MCing the show called me “the reason spandex was invented.”
That was a long time ago.
Nowadays, I’m technically considered obese.
BMI is one of those measurements like IQ. You can know perfectly well that it’s a bullshit metric based on a whole bunch of flawed assumptions, but you still want to know your number. And once you know it, you can’t get away from it. Mine is just over the line where “overweight” turns into “obese”. It’s hard to come out and say that, hard to admit to being one of the people our culture loves to shame and deride as weak and disgusting and horrible. But ya know what, I’ve tried the easy stuff and it hasn’t worked worth a damn, so I’m going to plan B.
I will not get into the things I’ve done out of self-hatred and shame and fear over the past decade or two. I will not repeat the deflections and lies I’ve said to women who’ve told me my body is sexy. You either know most of them already, or you don’t.
Some folks will say I’m not fat enough to be doing this. Others will say I’m too fat to be doing this. Both groups can feel free to go piss up a rope. I’m not doing this for them, I’m doing it for me. And maybe for you.
'I am sick and tired of hating my body. I am sick and tired of not seeing myself the way my lovers do. This is what I look like naked. This is me.' 
Taking and processing these photographs has been a very interesting experience for me. I asked one of my lovers to see if she could capture what I really look like naked, naked the way she sees me, not the way I see myself. At the same time, I didn’t want any flattering, fake shots, artificially composed to make me look more like the men on the movie posters.
I honestly think more men should do this. I have found it intensely liberating, taking steps to directly confront my fear and shame about my body. Maybe that’s just me performing masculinity again, “If you have an emotional problem, punch it to death.” On the other hand, punching it to death is helping me, and I am loath to argue with results.
I don’t know how to fix the broken ways our culture talks about bodies. I don’t know how to make people love themselves. I don’t even know how to mend the disconnect between my sense of self and my physical shape. What I do know is how to confront fear and shame and self-hatred, at least for myself, and how you do that is head-on.
I’m Noah Brand. This is what I look like stark naked. You can like it or not, that’s your own business and I respect that. I have wasted too much time being afraid of what other people think, and as of today, I am done.
This article originally appeared on the Good Men Project here and has been republished with full permission. You can check out some of their other awesome posts, like this one, right here.
Noah Brand is the editor-in-chief of the Good Men Project. He blogs a bit at No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz. He is usually found in Portland, Oregon, directly underneath a very nice hat.
NOTE: Please be aware if you decide to leave a comment that Noah will be reading them. Be kind. Be respectful. Be cool. Comments we deem to be cruel or abusive will be deleted as per our regular commenting policy.
 on http://www.mamamia.com.au){kind=link}
Comments
135 Comments so far
Isn’t it amazing the light bulb moment when see yourself as others see you, most people see you as Noah…. no struggles , no numbers no tags or labels..( that age old saying ‘if only you could see what I see’.)….as it should be! you Sir Have made my day!
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Noah, I think that you are absolutely beautiful.
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I think you are very brave and very beautiful to bare your soul and your butt (which is actually quite nice) in this way. Thank you so much.
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I admire you. You are brave and proud. Well done.
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How very brave Noah. Good on you! More ppl should do this.
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Well done Noah and very brave. I hope you have a significant other who thinks you are the most magnificent hman being God ever put breath into. I think that about my partner and he is no moreor less perfect than you are. We get so consumed by body image when it should really be about the person inside. I think you are probably pretty wonderful. Congratulations on having the guts to do this article.
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Amen to that!
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My boyfriend is slender and muscular. He thinks he is scrawny and hideous. I tell him how amazing he is but he doesn’t believe me and it’s very hurtful and irritating. I’ll show him this article and hopefully he’ll gain some perspective.
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My husband is tall and muscular and exercises A LOT, but he thinks he is fat and is always saying it….it is really sad and I am always telling him he is wrong and that he is NOT fat. It all stems from his childhood where his dad would tell him he was fat (so sad!).
I will have to show him this article as well.
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Very brave of you mate. Well done. Your shape is the same as many blokes I know and you have nothing to be ashamed of at all. I agree that BMI figure is crap, I too am officially obese but nobody I know would regard me as that. But jeez Noah, couldn’t you have covered your schlong in the photos? I co-incidentally just did a post myself on men not looking their best, how it means they must love their woman more (it was a bit tongue in cheek compared to yours though). http://www.writehandman.com.au
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Writehandman, don’t be fooled by Noah’s story, this was all about self-promotion. In this crazy topsy-turvey world the only currency left to men is their schlong. Noah wanted to get published by Mia, and knew he had to produce the junk to do it. What is now apparent, based on other responses to Noah’s “revelation” is that the schlong is back. From now on I will change my approach at pick up joints (bars, night clubs, supermarket) by getting the kit off first. Rock on Noah the “Schlong Master”
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What is interesting here is the effect of hormones on the body. As a woman, I am always lamenting the ways oestrogen betrays the female body – breast cancer, pap smears, periods, menopause, loss of muscle tone, sagging skin, often more wrinkles than men because our skin is finer, less bone density resulting in poor posture as we age…and on ad nauseum. But, Noah is absolutely right: He too is a ‘victim’ of hormones: Male hormones. He can’t help being the way is body is any more than we can help putting on weight as we age or being moody at “that time of the month”. Thanks Noah, I didn’t need to look at your gallery, I totally got what you are saying here, and really appreciate it. I will look upon my own male partner of 26 years (who is suffering similarly) slightly differently from now on, and appreciate that he can’t help the way his body is (beyond diet and exercise and healthy choices)
anymore than I can. I wish we could all let this body image stuff go. It is ruining our lives and relationships.
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Oh. You look just like my own dear lovely husband. WTF am I doing trawling around on the internet when I could be having ‘fur time’? You are yummy. x
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Good on you Noah! My husband was a 28 inch waist when we met 16 years ago – and is now a little more chunky, well actually a big bit. And he is still the sexy guy he’s always been. I need to show him your brave article to give him back some confidence. We don’t often recognise that men have body image issues too, so thank you Noah!
And I know I am guilty of perving over the Armani underwear ads with david beckham – but if he actually appeared in my bedroom tonight, there’s no way I’d let him see me naked. Give me a normal bloke any day.
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My partner is 18 years older than me with a very sexy salt and pepper chest rug and sprinkling of back hair. He is sitting on a bmi of 34 and I think he is the most sexy man in the world
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Good Men Project rocks. Great site.
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Very powerful post. I think we women get so caught up in body image angst we forget our brothers are often going through the same.
Noah, you are very brave, and not for putting a body that society deems less than perfect on show, but for putting your soul on show. And it’s beautiful, as is your body.
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Honestly, i think you are really attractive, when i saw your photos i thought wow, as physically, you are my idea of the perfect man!
It is very worrisome that you have been labelled as obese, as there is no way that realistically, you should be labelled as such.
I hope when you saw these photos of yourself, you realised what an attractive man you are, and all of the time that you have spent hating your body was time wasted.
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As a point of no particular interest and very little to do with the point of the article itself, those of you who are poo pooing the use of BMI should know that there is an almost direct relationship between an obese BMI and health issues (heart disease, cancer etc).
Yes, yes, there are a few people that don’t fit the criteria – those that are exceptionally tall or are exceptionally muscular – but lets face it, that doesn’t apply to many of us. Sadly, those of us who register obese on the BMI scale are actually obese and should lose a kilo or two.
And I know its hard but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be done for the sake of our health. Could we at least be real about this?
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No one will ever be as cruel to you as you are to yourself. Good on you Noah for refusing to continue being a hater. You, sir, are an inspiration!
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Thank you, amazing comment.
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i think this is fantastic. for so long I have dismissed the idea that what men think effected how I think of myself. but to read this and see your photos I realised that mens opinions effected me more than i thought. Seeing you put this out there caused a bigger shift to my own body image than any picture of a ‘natural’ woman ever has. So perhaps the key isnt just women learning to accept their own beauty but learning to accept all beauty.
Like so many women who have commented before me, I find my man to be crazy sexy and can now let the thought in that maybe he really does think the same of me! thank you for this eye opener.
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Obese? Are you serious? Interesting to see that male bodies are apparently judged as harshly as females… not saying it’s right, but I always thought that was a girl thing.
Seriously, nothing bad going on there, Noah. You’re actually just my type, physically speaking. So sorry to hear of the self-loathing you’ve suffered, but I know how that is too… I was like that for years.
Go you good thing!
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Shameless FTW!!!
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Yum!
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WHOOOOO!!! YES YES YES! Go you good, naked thing you!
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As a young woman that has struggled with body image all her life, I find your bravery inspiring Noah. I have never commented on a news site before, but I felt compelled to join the discourse around this article. You are beautiful.
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Good on you Noah!
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Hey Noah – one day I think I might be visiting Portland (I wasn’t before but I am now) … any chance of a coffee?
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See? Nekkid pics, I say. Works like a charm.
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No, no, I read it for the article *fingers crossed*
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I believe you !
*fingers crossed behind my back*
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Oh your article is so moving , it makes me want to hug you (but maybe that’s because of the nekkid pic
)
My husband looks exactly the same as you do naked . And just like you he was extremely skinny as a teen . He was a chick magnet in his 20′s (he was 23 and I was 28 when we met) and now, at 29, he’s decided to go on a strange fruit-brown bread diet that I worry might kill him (his work is very physical ). He does it for reasons he refuses to talk about (probably a mistress), I’m sure his ego suffers from the lack of girly whistles when he walks down the street so I support him in virtual silence (I don’t want to say the wrong thing, he thinks I’m lying when I say I think he’s hot, even though he won’t say THAT either , he pretends he believes me but I can feel that he doesn’t , geez men are tricky).
Truth is: I do think he’s hot!! but I understand if it’s not enough for him to like his body obviously , if that’s not the weight at which he recognizes himself in the mirror , then there’s nothing I can say to make him feel better .
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Ps: quick question : how do men manage to gain weight and keep such cute firm sexy butts?
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In my case, the weight goes to the front so that I appear to be 7 months pregnant!
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Alright yeah we gain in different places …still. cute butts :p
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This was brave…
But what is with the obsession people have with publishing nude photos of themselves in the name of body acceptance? Do we have to be nude? What does it prove? We don’t walk around nude on the street so why do we think it necessary to pose nude on the internet/for magazines? You can actually be comfortable with your body without needing to draw attention to it
That said, Noah you have more balls than I. Both literally and figuratively haha
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Call me Devil’s Advocate, but why not? It’s a lot less natural to wear clothes.
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It is, but so many women turn their noses up and cry feminism at naked women in mens magazines, objectifying women. Yet here is Mamamia publishing a naked photo of a man so that women will have a good ogle and carry on about how sexy he is. It is all attention seeking and I am not a fan of it. It isn’t necessary to illustrate the point he wants to make.
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That would be a fair point, except Noah published this first on the Good Men Project … a website mostly aimed at men. I don’t think he did it to be called ‘sexy’.
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That is a fair point too Rick, although many of the commenters at GMP were women interestingly enough. I don’t know, I am just not sure about the whole thing. It still comes across as a bit exhibitionist to me. I honestly don’t believe if it were a female posing stark naked to “reject the shame”, that it would have been recieved the same way. I am certain it would be met with truckloads of criticism. Of course I’d be happy to be proven wrong if any of the mama mia staff is up for the challenge haha
In saying this I must admit, when I wrote a bucket list a while back, one of the items on my list was to dine nude in the nudist capital of the world, Cap d’Agde, France. Now that would be liberating if you were brave enough!
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noah, you rock
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My partner is similar height and weight to you Noah, but way hairier. Big and strong, losing hair, and describes himself as ‘no oil painting’ – but god he is sexy to me. Big kudos to you for your posting – need more of it! Hairless pretty boys just don’t do it for me.
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Wow .. this is a bit of a revelation!
Noah, I find you quite sexy. I’ve put on a bit of weight in the last year or so and feel more cuddly than the “real” me .. so every time my partner tells me how gorgeous and sexy I am, I rebutt him with laughter or telling him he’s deluded. For the first time I can see that it IS quite possible that he sees beauty and sexiness in me, and not just the 10kg that I think is coating it all.
Thank you, beautiful, brave man!!
xx
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My husband is balding and has a hairy body, but I love it. He looks like a MAN, just the way you do. So refreshing to see photos of a REAL body, love it.
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You look just like my husband, he is sexy as hell to me and always has been. I don’t know why you would be self loathing but if you have a son tell him the ladies love confidence and that it is equally as important to be healthy of
both mind and body.
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Noah – I love this!
P.S. I think being comfortable with yourself is far more attractive than being buff or skinny or ‘average’ etc
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Spot on about being comfortable with yourself. I’m currently 5kgs heavier tha I should be/like to be but as soon as I stopped being nasty to myself and negative and just went about my business, I seemed to be attracting much more positive attention! In fact, I’ve ended up meeting someone who has the potential to be special. Confidence is key!
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I wonder how many of the positive commenters here today would have made fun of / fake gagged were they to see Noah on the beach in say speedos. I am guessing this whole ‘group hug’ positive vibe thing would be in short supply in the real world, where things like back hair and man boobs are the butt of a great many jokes.
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a very shallow assumption indeed!
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I wouldn’t think anything of it if I saw him at the beach. He’s just a normal looking bloke, many of them have hairy backs/chests, whatever. People who ‘fake gag’ remind me of teenage girls on the bus, time to grow up methinks.
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I’m 35, I don’t bully people …….
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I have to agree with this comment. I think one of the reasons why we are having a positive response to this, and I too had a positive response, is that Noah shows some depth of character, some emotional intelligence, some vulnerability, kindness. I don’t know. For me, these are qualities that I adore in a man irrespective of the package they come in.
I would also be interested to see responses, particularly those of men if say a size 18 woman with lumps and bumps, and crappy hair and no make up, pubic hair, underarm hair etc posed in the exact same way. Would men come out singing her praises? Telling her she was brave and beautiful? I’d volunteer but I don’t think I could stand all the marriage proposals! lol
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Totally cool, this isa good thing to see and do….we grow up with ridiculous ideas of what is normal….it’s not of course this is great congratulations
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Balls of steel, Noah.
Err, well, plainly not literally, but very impressive.
Err, your column, not your balls. Not to say that your balls are unimpressive, they seem fine.
Oh shit, when I said column, that wasn’t an anatomical reference.
Sigh, this is a double entendre perfect storm. I’m in heaven and seem to be a spirit medium for Benny Hill and the entire cast of ‘Are You Being Served?’ simultaneously.
Jokes aside, I doffs me hat, Noah.
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Comment of the day!!
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Agree!!
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Cue warm glow. All those years of shit TV finally paid off.
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Congrats Noah – you are beautiful!
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You are who you are and you’re a lot more than ok xoxo
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Wow, technically obese! I think it depends how much muscle mass you have under any fat laying on top … the BMI is definitely not a perfect measure of ideal weight and especially not of health.
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Apparently a better way to check if you have weight that needs shifting is to measure your waist (where abdominal fat is stored) to your height. Healthy range for women is slightly less than half your height, for men the range is on and around the half mark.
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good on you Noah!
what I find very very interesting, is that when similar posts have been put up by women on this site (and others!), there is always, ALWAYS a group of posters lamenting the acceptance of being overweight…”won’t someone think of the health system?!?!”…. “we shouldn’t encourage obesity!!!” blahblahblahdebleepin’ blah
very interesting as a society, that this doesn’t seem to happen for a guy..hmmm
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I find that interesting too!
And I wonder how many of the people making those comments are health nuts? Do they ever binge drink? Do they get the recommended amount of moderate to high intensity exercise every week? Do they eat the recommended amount of fruit and vegetables? Have they never smoked or taken any drugs?
And if they do all of those things and are still picking on other people for being unhealthy, I hope they crack their skulls when they fall off their high horses.
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Wow – these past two articles – Noahs and Chrissie Swan have come at a time I really need it. I have yoyo dieted all my life, I have very little self esteem left, have tried numerous weight loss regimes (weight watchers, jenny craig, gloria marshalls, tony ferguson, just watching what I’m eating etc etc) and while I lose the weight it always comes back. I am seeing a psychologist, and am about to go on antidepressants for the first time (at 36 years of age) which scares the s*** out of me. My “healthy” weight husband thinks I look amazing (my boobs are bigger, and thinks I am balanced) and my one and a half year old son loves my wobby bits. I just want to look at myself in the mirror and be kind – and to like myself…. and then I’m hoping the yoyo-ing will stop, and I’ll think about food as just that. You look amazing Noah, and I am so inspired by you. Stuff the BMI – feel good about yourself. I just wish people would be kinder – because trust me, as mean as you are (even in the guise of cruel to be kind), you can never be as hard on us as we are on ourselves.
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Hi Victoria,
You might be interested in “If not dieting, then what?”
http://www.ifnotdieting.com.au
It’s all about being kind to yourself!
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Noah, my man is just like you, big (technically obese) but very fit, massively fun and energetic, incredibly strong, bald and did I mention…. HOT!!!! I adore him, we have a great sex life and he is loaded with self-confidence. He is insanely sexy and gets hit on all the time when we are out, often in front of me. Women love him because he is so big and strong and totally works his size with his masculinity. You are so right, it’s all about the self image and how you see yourself, because I dread anybody that actually told my man that he is fat and therefore unattractive. Because he doesn’t see himself like that, nor do I.
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Thank you Noah. What you are doing is wonderful – I admire your bravery and openness.
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“I have wasted too much time being afraid of what other people think, and as of today, I am done”
Love it!!!!!!! I’m going to pin that up and repeat it daily. Thank you Noah and thank you MM – I am an obese person and by publishing this article and the previous one on Chrissie Swan, you have made me realise the importance of just getting out there and living and enjoying life – and focusing on being healthy no matter what your size. Thankyou!!!!!!!
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Wow, that picture could be me…. Great to read all of the positive comments, I feel better now.
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You should!
That is wonderful man-ness!
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Cue to rapturous applause!!
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This is such an awesome project. Good work!
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Whoever took those photo’s did a brillant job of capturing the real you. You look like the kind of real man i look for ( I love a baldy) On the BMI scale i am classed as obese, i love telling people that as I’m 5″2 and around 75kg’s no one would ever look at me and say “your obese” my partner is classed as underweigh on the BMI which is hilarious! I have stopped looking at men as amazing body’s and started to look at them as someone i would like to get to know, and i am much happier with what i have found, a real man. Thank you for having the courage to do what most of us can’t.
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I’m the same. I am 150cms and when I was 8 weeks pregnant and weighed 70 kilos I was included in a study at the Royal Brisbane on obese pregnant women.
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I am 150cm as well and will probably weigh the same as you did when I am pregnant. Why do doctors insist upon relying upon BMI to assess what is a “healthy” weight? There are so many other factors to take into consideration. It’s ridiculous.
Not only is it humiliating to be called obese when you’re not… it’s also medically inaccurate.
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Brilliant post!
And yep I agree the BMI thing is out of whack. When I was anorexic, my BMI was on the low side of the normal range, but not underweight. And I was seriously bony. These days I’m curvy (size 14) and my BMI says I’m obese. Time for a new measuring scale, I think – or just chuck out the scales and focus on feeling healthy and good.
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I’m nearly 29 weeks and have been told if I put on any more weight I’ll have to go to KEMH (in Perth)to deliver instead of my local hospital due to high risk
which is a crock. While I know I shouldn’t put any more weight on and I do need to lose a fair bit of weight, I carry it well – people are surprised when I tell them how much I weigh. And what is going to be different there than at my local hospital? Nothing!
BMI is in need of an overhaul!
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this is the most narcissistic thing i have ever seen or heard
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You really should get out more laura.
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Wow that’s a harsh call
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Oh piffle. First person writing tends to be narcissistic. What does it matter if it helps us think about ourselves? I call that a service.
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Piffle? What a blast from the past, like 50 years ago. I guess it is hard to come up with a word that says what you think and won’t offend anybody. They might die laughing though!
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Maybe if we all thought about ourselves a little bit LESS, we wouldn’t be feeding these insecurities in the first place.
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That wouldn’t make us very human.
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Sure it would, and much more interesting to be around!
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much more diplomatic, thanks
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FWIW I think you look sexy. Much more manly than those guys who spen hours looking at themselves pumping iron in the gym. You look like me, only a male version. I’m a little overweight but that is only one part of me. We are so much more than our body shape or our bank balance.
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I think its so important to have people like you doing things like this Noah… and I think its relevant to everyone, as a 22 year old female I can still relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I’m trying to put effort into loving myself and my body and not worrying so much about what others think (or what I think they might think), and stories like this make me feel a lot less alone in that.
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As another 22 year old female, I’m with you on everything you said
Great job Noah.
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