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A few weeks ago, my mother was mauled by a dog. She has only just been released from hospital after having a four-hour operation including skin grafts. The dog that attacked her was a dog she had met many times before. This time, she reached out to pat it and, for some unknown reason, the dog didn’t like the cut of her jib. It got a hold of her left hand and didn’t let go. For minutes that surely felt like hours.
The daughter of the owner of the dog came to see my mum in hospital. To assure her they would ‘keep the dog out back’ from now on.
To be frank, I am so over so many dog owners.
Currently living in the English countryside, we are in dog central. Everyone here seems to have a dog (or two, or three) – mostly very healthy-looking black Labs who get a good amount of exercise. They’re beautiful animals and my kids have had great fun with them. My daughter spent a good hour in the park after a snowfall one day throwing snowballs for one of them to catch and both parties had the time of their lives. I have no issue with this. The owner was there, I was there, the owner asked if it was okay if she took her dog off its lead, assured me it had been around children all its life, and I’d said yes. Over the years, I’ve met many dog owners like this – respectful of my, and my children’s, personal space and welfare and of the law.
My problem is with the other dog owners. Over the past eight years (since my first child was born), I have had dog owners, strangers to us, coerce my children over towards them to pat their dog when I have already told my kids not to (‘But he loves children!’). I have had family members let large dogs, unaccustomed to small children, into the same room as my kids when I’ve specifically asked they be kept apart (‘It’s not fair that he has to stay outside!’). I have had a barking dog chase my kids across a children’s park (‘He loves to run!’). I have had a dog nip my son on the ankle (‘He didn’t pat him right!’). And then, just yesterday, again at the park, I had a German Shepherd who weighed more than me jump up on my chest and steal my daughter’s gloves from my hands (‘He’s only playing!’). Knowing what had just happened to their grandmother, my kids were so freaked out they wouldn’t come down from the top of the climbing frame until the dog had retreated from sight.
What truly amazes me is that if I had turned around yesterday and told this dog owner that her 70kg dog should be on a lead in a children’s playground, I would have been the psycho.
So, look, it’s nice that you have a dog. Yes, I’m sure he, or she, is adorable, obedient, great with kids, would never bite anyone and loves your family very, very much.
But that’s what the owners of the dog that mauled my mother would have said too.
It’s your choice to have a dog. Love it. Enjoy it. But keep it responsibly. Just don’t expect me to love it too.
Allison Rushby is the Australian author of 11 novels in the genres of women’s fiction and young adult fiction. She is writing a travel memoir and blogging here. You can often find her procrastinating on Twitter here.
Are you a dog owner? How do you feel about other people’s dogs?
Comments
377 Comments so far
Last summer we spent a weeks holiday at the beach. We loved every minute of it but could not get over how many people had unrestrained dogs at the beach. Every few minutes, dogs were running up to our small children. It did make us feel a bit on edge, after all, we don’t know these dogs and we don’t know how they are going to act. Having said that, most of the dogs we saw looked like they were having the time of their life and we laughed about how much fun our four dogs would have at the beach. I just think it is responsible to keep your dogs under control.
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I feel much the same way about children.
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Train your dog, train your children. If you hate dogs/dog owners stay away from them. If you hate children/parents stay away from them. Don’t push your opinions on someone else. We are all different and all like/dislike things for our own reasons. I’m really over people hating others for no seriously good reason.
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While I hate irresponsible dog owners as much as the next person, I have to say that, as a dog owner, we sometimes get just as peeved by parents who don’t control their kids around our dogs.
I have a 9 month old dobe pup, and you would not believe the amount of kids who think its ok to just run up and ‘hug’ him, or get in his face, or bark at him and generally harrass him, and the parents stand there like ‘isn’t that cute?!’ making no effort to control their kids.
My dog is soft and gentle, but many aren’t, and many nervous dogs would react with a nip or growl if a strange child ran up and flung their arms around them. How do these parents know my dog is friendly when they happily send their kids off to bother him? And if he had nipped through fear, it would be MY fault *rolleyes*
No parent should EVER allow their child to approach a dog they don’t know; our dogs are our family, not toys for passing kids to mess with.
I also think that in my house, my dog should not have to be put outside for the benefit of others; this is his home. I don’t demand that people put their kids in their room when Im around because Im not a fan of children. I respect its their home, I should put up or get out.
Same with my dog. If people come over, they are dog people. If they’re not dog people, I don’t know why they’re round mine…..
So yes, people who don’t control their dogs are a pain in the arse, I agree as another dog owner who has to put up with their dogs bothering mine. But people who don’t raise their kids how to behave and be respectful around dogs are just as annoying.
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Not everyone who gets bitten by a dog wants it put down. There was a boy in Kalgoorlie or Northam (country WA) a few years ago who had his head bitten very badly by a dog in a pub. He had loads of stitches. But the parents came out in the news saying that their son shouldn’t have approached the dog and asked for the dog not to be destroyed. Good on them. Not everyone can be so big. Most people just want to blame. Dogs will be dogs. It’s our responsibility to respect that.
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If you have a child, be considerate, not everyone loves children. If you have a dog, be considerate, not everyone loves Rover. It’s really that simple.
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Again I think this forum & article is kind of missing the point & perpetuating “us & them” arguments that ultimately don’t really get to a conclusion or solution.
The bottom line of this whole thing is that all of us need to be more aware and considerate. Like when we’re riding the bus we may be seated next to someone who potentially is the nicest, friendliest person ever – but that doesn’t mean they have to interact (just because they know they’re nice). Likewise if you are not in the mood to interact you have to take responsibility for that and politely decline the conversation.
As someone whose worked in a variety of child service roles, I know parents can be just as inconsiderate as dog owners. And that’s ok its human behavour. But it does get tiresome and scary when their child bites, throws poo, swears at me or throws punches! Not the child’s fault. But I’d like more consideration on the parents part to get involved in the interaction.
Just as I’d like more consideration from dog owners to follow the rules governing the public space they’re in. Sure you might be at a quiet park & no one is around so you let the dogs off – probably fine but just be ready to pop the leash back on when someone else shows up!
If your child has a pathologic fear than you should as the parent try and work on that. It is not the responsibility of the rest of the world to tip-toe around them. Consideration and polite behavior yes but beyond that its expecting too much. Would you happily evacuate a plane or an elevator to accommodate someones fear? Perhaps you’ll not mind not wearing red because someone might have a fear of that colour?
To respond to Shan: They are animals and in general the rights and safety of humans come first & a therefore more aware approach by everyone would help. Potentially many interactions in life have the chance of turning sour. Yes, even amazing dogs could be aggressive, so yes supervise your child & leash your dog where appropriate. Cats too can be pretty aggressive and cause quite serious infection. Playing with a child your child has never met before at the park could result in being pushed from the jungle gym. Going to kindy might result in another child biting your child. Getting in the car with could result in death. Do we need to focus on all of the potential awful aspects of human-dog, human-human interaction? Or just accept the risks & maintain an appropriate level of vigilance and courtesy towards others? Then remember that unfortunately there will always be bad eggs out there who just don’t give a damn – hopefully this is not the majority!
Also humanizing an animal is not the root of the evil here. It is actually a pretty key part of being human to humanize things! So its about understanding the limitations of the relationship & what signals you send your dog. They have reasonably predictable & simple behavior & often get stressed trying to understand the thousand things their human is telling them. Unfortunately when taking on a pet many people (like many parents) actually have very little information and education about what they’re getting into & what to do when things go pear shaped.
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People are irresponsible and random & full of contradictions. Whether they have dogs, cats, iguanas children or not.
I recommend some books for dog owners and non-owners alike – like road safety we need to be educated on random animal safety. As follows:
“The other end of the leash” by Patricia McConnel: http://www.theotherendoftheleash.com/
“The dog man” by Martin Mckenna: http://thedreadlockdogman.blogspot.com.au/
“The Intelligence of DOgs” by Stanley Coren:
http://www.stanleycoren.com/
Dogs (like people) can be scary and dangerous. Dogs (like people) can be loving and fun. We could all do with being more considerate and less entitled. There are benefits to children growing up in homes with dogs; development of empathy sooner & fewer allergies and stomach problems (however likely the modeling of the relationship with the dog & thus empathy comes from the parents). So it all comes down to people – not really the dogs at all.
On a side note; dogs on leash are at the end of their territory and as such alert. Therefore approaching them front on with a hand over their head (to pat) is seen as threatening – dogs approach each other side on. This is difficult because its innately human to greet front on hand out-stretched.
People: it is polite to leash your dogs in on-leash areas and explicitly explain to other humans what is best for them and your dog. As it is also important to explain to children that you don’t rush up to a new dog without checking if its ok to be patted, you don’t walk around the back of a horse, you don’t pull tails, you don’t pat an echidna, & you should refrain from hugging bunnies, chickens and budgies too firmly.
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Great comment. And great reading recommendations. I love ‘A Dog Is Listening’ too. A bit quirky for some but I got a lot out of it. Dog behaviour is actually a lot more predictable than human behaviour. People would benefit from more education. I remember someone in the papers once trying to get a program into schools about it. They were teaching kids to ‘stand like a statue’ instead of running if a dog approached them and to ‘drop like a rock’ if the dog lunges at them. The message was that unfortunately many human instincts aggravate dog attacks and people are safer mimicking submissive canine signals.
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I only ever take my dogs to off-lead parks because I find dogs behave better when they’re off-lead. I only ever encounter problems when they’re on-lead or when on-lead meets off-lead.
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I am a dog owner, of Desmond, a 6 month old labradoodle. He is adorable and loving but he is a dog. He lives outside on our semi-enclosed deck with his bed at the back door so he can see us. Because of Desmond’s “enthusiasm” and penchant for jumping, I will not let my 2.5 year old daughter play in our yard unsupervised. Call me an awful dog owner but if other little kids are in our backyard, I tie Desmond up – same when my 90yo nana visits. I don’t expect other people to do the same when I am in their homes or yards but I do not let my daughter out of my sight. Most dogs love kids but they also have the potential to bite/permanently disfigure/kill them (especially when tails and ears are pulled by the kids). Imo dogs do not belong non-dog designated public areas off leads.
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You know you can teach him not to jump, right? Tying him up is no substitute for training, it should be a last resort if training fails.
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He is getting better with the jumping. Desmond is a great dog, he leads well, doesn’t bark without reason and he is very friendly but he is 6 months old. I feel better tying him up around kids under 4 and my 90 year old nan – its never for longer than an hour and he can’t knock them over accidentally.
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I’m really over people tarring all dog owners with the same brush. I’m really over people complaining about dogs being let to run in their own homes (it actually ISN’T fair they have to go outside – don’t like the dog, don’t visit the person who owns it). And I’m REALLY over people not educating themselves and their children about appropriate behaviour around dogs. But I bet my right arm that if I wrote a post entitled “I’m really over non-dog owners” I’d face a fair amount of backlash for it. I haven’t read all of the comments as there’s too many to trawl through, maybe 80 people have said exactly what I’m saying now….but if not, it needs to be said.
I hate to rain on your pity party, but as a non-dog owner, you’re hardly going to be the one copping flak for asking someone with a misbehaving dog to put it on a leash in a playground. That one person, that one irresponsible owner might take issue, not no one else is going to think of, or refer to you as a psycho.
Yes, I read your article fully, and I realise that you are differentiating between good and bad dog owners….everywhere but in the title. I read it and actually felt my teeth clench uncontrollably. Perhaps a little thought next time….unless of course you really don’t mean the little disclaimer about only having a problem with irresponsible owners. Also, perhaps instead of expecting people who you visit to remove their dogs from the room, perhaps you could use it as a positive learning experience for both you and your children to help overcome your fear. If you let it continue – or develop further – you’re going to end up with self fulfilling prophecy….dogs don’t respond well to unbalanced and fearful humans, your fear scares them too.
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How about if you’re invited to your family Christmas at a particular Aunts house and you explain that you can’t come because you are allergic to dogs (asthma) and your 2 year old daughter is petrified of them because she had been knocked over by a doberman at the no dogs allowed playground as 1 year old. She says, that’s fine, we’ll make sure Billie (the beagle) is kept outside. Then you turn up on the day, and not only is Billie inside a where 2 people normally live (ie. it is small) and there are now 30, but you find that other guests have brought their dogs too. Infact there is a beagle, a poodle, 3 dalmatians and a maltese. All inside. 3 of them are brand new puppies given that day for Christmas ie. they cry and have not been toilet trained. And this all seems to take precedence over your asthma and your childs fear, so you leave, and spend your Christmas day at home on your own. Thanks dog owners.
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And by the way, we have a dog, which lives outside, and everyday we take my daughter out for supervised play with him.
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You’ve sort of proved my point here. I’ve pretty clearly stated I’m tired of all dog owners being lumped in the same group, hearing that we’re all somehow at fault for the mistakes of a few. It sounds like your Aunt is a bit inconsiderate to have made the promise to keep the dog outside, and then to break it in such a spectacular fashion…..but that ain’t my fault sister.
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I was commenting on the fact that you and others continue to make the comments about people complaining about dogs being let to run in their own homes. I’m making the point that sometimes there are valid reasons for those complaints, so don’t tarr us with the same brush by thinking that we are just dog haters, perhaps the dog owners have actually been unreasonable.
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This is a topic that I use to have a really strong view on…. who wouldn’t want to play with my awesome dog? Until i got a dog (from a pet shop) that suffers from ‘anxiety agression’. We have had dogs before and have done nothing different from any of them. We ‘socialised’ him, have had him de sexed and have trainers. But the reality is that we just have a dog that doesn’t go particularly well in situations out of his comfort zone such as meeting new dogs. As a result of this ‘condition’ i now realise how annoying other dog owners are! We intentially don’t go to off leash areas because our dog has to stay on the lead and can’t be approached by other dogs as he will become aggressive. Yet, dogs are constantly running up to us who are off the lead in a non lead area. The other day a dog rushed up, our dog growled and lunged (nothing bad happened as he was on the lead) and we were told our dog was agressive and out of line! There are people out there like me that spend a lot of time being a responsible dog owner and it’s really hard work owning a dog with ‘issues’ (!) just as it is trying to keep your kids out of trouble (or even just keeping their trousers clean!)… so can’t dog owners just put their dog on a lead or go to a designated area?
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correction – a dog rushed up in a LEAD on area!
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Pet shop?! Gave you heard of Oscar’s Law?
Please don’t ever adopt another animal until you’ve educated yourself.
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I’d have anxiety too if I left my mother before 8 weeks of age and spent weeks in a glass box.
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Thank you for your condescending comments. No, 4 years ago I hadn’t heard of oscars law and wasn’t aware of the treatment of pets shop dogs. If anything I am glad I did because it has made me really aware of the effect it can have on a puppy/ dog, let alone how the mothers are treated and am more informed / can inform others.
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What is Oscar’s Law? Is it something to do with puppy farms?
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Yeah it is. Check out oscarslaw.org .
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This is gonna get me flamed, but I chose to have a dog and I love that dog with all my heart. He is my family and is treated as a part of my family.
I get sooo sick and tired of people with children who come over to MY house and then expect me to put my dog, who lives at my house outside because their child is there. My dog is the friendliest, gentlest, most loving labrador in the world. He wouldn’t harm a fly and I trust him implicitly. If you have a problem, then keep you child away from him. When your child pokes my dog and pulls my dogs ears and tail, I’ll be telling your child to get the hell away from my dog and leave him alone.
Here’s what it comes down to – I take full responsiblity for my dog, but as a parent, can you way the same about your child??
To quote the author, you chose to have a child. Love it Enjoy it. But keep it your responsibility. Don’t expect me to love it too.
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thank you!
dont like my dog? you are welcome to not come over anymore.
I am so over petty people who dont have pets who dont understand that to some, a pet IS your baby. Some people arent fortunate enough to have children (or just choose not to) and so having a pet is about the closest thing.
I love my dog to bits. She sleeps on my bed with me, she is jumpy, she is playful. She doesnt shit her pants, she doesnt annoy me with incessant questions, she doesnt throw tantrums (although she does do the famous limp noodle when I tell her to move), she doesnt crave attention that I sometimes feel too tired to give.
Oh, and Ill walk my dog on a leash when you put your child on one.
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I get that you love your dog and in your own home you can treat him/her however you like, but to suggest you shouldn’t have to walk it on a lead because children are not on leads??? ARE YOU SERIOUS? What harm can a child do? What harm can a dog do? HEAPS!
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I’m certain my dog would do less harm than a child. In fact, my dog has been subjected to a child pulling on her tail and even kicking her. I dont care if the child is 2 or 12, cut that bullshit out. And my dog WAS restrained. The child was not. That child was lucky that my dog is a very, very placid and obedient dog who took it all on the chin and only tried to get away by hiding behind me and pawing at my legs so I could lift her up and away from the monster.
Obviously my comment is tongue-in-cheek. Not all dogs will do any harm if faced with a brat of a kid, not all dogs would given think twice about chasing after a kid in the park… and its fair to say that if that happens, then yes the owner should really be more mindful…
But I actually laughed in disbelief at the comment that the dog should have to go outside if you and your kids visit someone who has a dog. It reminds me of a moron that used to come to our house and walk around telling my parents to put away the breakables in case their child (my age at the time) broke them. You dont go in to someones house and expect them to change their lifestyle according to your will.
A good friend would be mindful of the fact that a dog could be too rambunctious for a child to be around and put it outside without a word (I would, although my dog likes me better than strangers and keeps to herself when we have visitors) but to even speak up and ask, “can you put the dog outside, the kids dont like it…” is appalling imo.
Leave the children at home if you dont like the running of someone elses house. You know they have dogs, either dont go there, invite them to your house or meet in a mutual place if its such an issue.
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Love this comment!
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The problem is that dogs aren’t allowed to be dogs. We expect them to act like humans.
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I went to do a bike class at the gym the other day and a girl brought her dog and left it at the back of the class, I think it was a retriever or something shaggy. It totally stunk and the more I was breathing harder in the class the more I could smell this dog. Just leave the thing at home please!
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I totally agree. My neighbor was so slack about keeping her dog in her yard that it ended up being her that accidentally ran it over and killed it.
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Oh please. Next time I ask you to remove your sticky fingered child from near me I hope you will.
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hmmm sticky fingers versus savage canine teeth.
Think I know which one I’d prefer
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We are living in Budapest at the moment and I am amazed at the number of dogs owned by city-dwellers and even more so at their excellent dog-manners! Puppy school doesn’t even exist here. Dogs walk off-leash a lot and not once have I had a dog come up to me (and I am always eyeballing them and saying hello and willing them to come to me…!).
We were at the park and two Staffy puppies were walking past, I asked to pat them and they were very cute, but as soon as they licked me their owner excused their behaviour and leashed them. Culturally it’s just different here.
Dogs are allowed inside restaurants and on public transport (muzzled – though lots are not) and I haven’t seen any aggression, bad behaviour or negative interactions between dogs.
Children don’t approach dogs either – in fact, no one does – people look at you like, “what the eff are you looking at my dog like that for?” if you’re a dog lover and making eyes at their pooch. (Like me)
Totally different pet-owning culture. I like it.
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I’d have approached the staffy puppies, too – so cute! Sounds like you’ll need to get a dog of your own!
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Would love to but we are heading home to Aus in October! Til then I’m happy dog-watching & hoping to get to an animal shelter to help too!
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S, I was on holiday in Budapest a couple of years ago & I was quietly amused at the number of small ‘handbag’ dogs I saw being walked by men – I put it down to the apartment lifesetyles, as it’s just much easier to keep a small dog than a big one.
(FYI – I think I recognise that statue in your profile picture. Theatre district, near Andrassy ut?)
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Lulu, yep, that statue is in the theatre district! Good spotting!
There are lots of people with tiny silky terriers, which I think is funny – each time I see one I think, “my cat would eat that for breakfast!” (I have a very large cat at home in Aus being cared for by my family)
Lots of people live in apartments in the city so they have smaller dogs that require less exercise. There are a lot of mutts/bitsas too – people tend not to go for purebreds here unless the are cashed up.
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I’ve heard people bemoan modern-day dog-owning culture here saying that because all dogs have to be on-lead all the time that they never learn any social skills. So basically leashing dogs contributes to causing the problem it’s meant to be solving.
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What breed of dog mauled your mum, just out of curiosity?
I am sorry, but regardless of the relationship with your neighbours, you should report that b@stard of a dog. Any dog that attacks needs to be put down. No ifs or buts. A dog’s rights are never above a humans. The next time the f****er will escape the yard and attack and kill a child. Report it. Don’t make excuses.
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What I find frustrating about dog owners is that they don’t seem to understand some people are terrified of dogs. So maybe your dog would never bite me, but even it just coming up to sniff me is terrifying. I think everyone has the right to be in public spaces, if dogs are allowed off leash, that’s fine I am ok with that. But don’t let it approach me, a dog owner should have better command over their animal. And to those people who treat their dogs like babies….well…..I don’t think your dog likes it. I have seen them cover their faces in shame when they are sitting on their “master’s” lap and a dog walks past on a lead with a ball in its mouth.
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You have to be taking the piss, surely?
Anthropomorphising a dog like that is hilarious. Some breeds ARE lap dogs. They don’t feel “shame” when they see another dog an a lead. Dogs cannot conduct abstract reasoning and say to themselves: “Hey, that dog is well behaved and on a leash and I’m sitting here like a baby on my mummy’s lap. Dogs shouldn’t be treated like babies, I’m so ashamed of myself!”. They’re DOGS. If they didn’t like be on their owner’s lap, they’d make it known – trust me. And not by “covering their face”, lol. By wriggling and jumping down.
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Actually I understand it perfectly. I was terrified of dogs too, and now I own two. They’ve both helped me overcome my fear and learn how to treat dogs properly (as dogs thanks, not babies). I don’t let my dogs approach people off leash, because I do realise the fear they can instil – and more to the point, because I don’t want the person’s fear to unsettle my dogs. Why do we always have to lump all dog owners – or all dogs – together?
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My dog is a Pug and will jump onto anyone’s lap who’ll sit still long enough. That’s where she wants to be, she’ll play with a ball for a while then will settle for the nearest lap. Your comment is incredibly I’ll informed and quite frankly stupid.
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There’s a great book out there for young kids on the topic of how to understand dog behaviour. ‘Can I Pat that Dog?’ (author is Susan MacLaine, I think.) The illustrations are cute, and it was run past the RSPCA for accuracy.
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I’m really over dog owners on facebook. I don’t need my page bombarded with your dogs in a park, on your lap, in the kitchen or any of the other 127 places you thought they looked cute that day. And those that give their dogs their own page…gah! Don’t get me started!
Yeah yeah I know…just block them and get over it.
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hahaha my dog has a page! love it!
guess we can’t be facebook friends huh? i cannot stand those mothers who post 1000x photos of their babies and status updates about their toilet habits!!
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I can’t stand dog/cat people nor parents that post incessantly about their pet/baby
I think doing either is stupid.
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We could be friends…but I could never be friends with your dog haha!
If it’s any consolation, I feel the same way about those mothers too. Blocked!!
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Well if it’s not their dog, it’s their baby or partner or cat or ferret.
(Apologies to all my facebook friends who have to put up with pictures of my cat all day!)
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At fenced “little kid” playground last week, I saw a lady with a beautiful – and leashed Doberman. Being a dog person, I went over to admire the dog. My two littlies were safely inside the fence and my biggest was quietly and confidently (dog-familiar) with me. At our approach, the dog went into a slathering frenzy, dancing and snarling on it’s hind legs and nearly pulling it’s leash free of it’s owner’s grasp. Horrified, I tucked my “big” kid behind me and asked the owner what on earth was wrong with the dog – or what we’d done to upset it.
She breezily announced “oh, he always does that. He just hates kids”. Um. So WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LEANING ON THE FENCE AROUND A KIDS’ PLAYGROUND? She then moved off onto the adjoining oval and let the damn thing off it’s leash. People like that give all dog owners a bad name!
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?? why can’t she go to the park if she wants? why are you going around approaching dogs with kids could be the alternative question?
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Maybe because the dog is clearly prone to attacking????? The owner sounds like a smug *****!
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I love dogs and I find dog owners are generally nicer people then non dog owners( generally so don’t take it personally)
Dogs are awesome and most people have them so I think the dog hater need to realise they need to share their world with the dog.
Naturally dog owners need to control their pets and do not let them off the lead around kids and be sensible. Penalties should apply to lax ownership.
I could well understand why someone who’s mum had been bitten would be pretty pissed off and annoyed about dog owners though.
Hope your mum gets better soon
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I’m a dog owner and lover- our family has a spoodle (cocker spaniel x poodle) but i’m not one of those owners who makes excuses for my dog Cody. Children often come over to pat him, and I give the ok. However, I always make him sit and hold onto his collar, because when he get excited he often jumps up on people. If he jumps up on someone and they don’t like it, i get embarrassed and profusely apologise to them.
I do have a bit of a problem with people who hang out/picnic in dog parks or off leash areas, then complain about dogs coming up to them/annoying them. If they choose to go to an off-leash area, they have to expect dogs running around.
I don’t think one should be so quick to say ‘my dog would never bite anyone’ because you don’t know that. If someone came up to my dog and started pulling his tail and/or ears, i’m sure he wouldn’t like it and he could bite in retaliation. It shouldn’t be 100% our responsibility (maybe like 80%), parents need to do their bit too and teach their children NOT to rush up to strange dogs, and do things like pull their tails for example.
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I have two small dogs, both very cute and quite docile.
Kids like to touch them a lot. I pick one of them up and say he’s off limits, because he has a nervous nature with strangers, other dogs, garbage bins etc, and let them pat the other one who is like a teddy bear and just sits there looking at me as if to say “is this right mum?”.
I know my dogs and I don’t take chances.
Of equal concern ar the people with big aggressive dogs that treat my little dogs like sport. We have the vet bills and nervous dog number 1 to prove it.
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Picking up a nervous dog is absolutely the wrong thing to do btw. As soon as he is picked up, he becomes a “person” in his eyes – up on your level – which reinforces his antisocial behaviour.
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What?? He’s not a person??
Just kidding.
I pick him up because it’s fast. Its usually the only way to intercept little people with busy fingers going straight for his face .. He’s 8 years old and very small, I’m not going to try and change him.
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I have a chihuahua. He is sweet and cute, he loves my daughter and follows her around constantly, treats my fiancé to face kisses (much to his dismay) and thinks I’m his mummy. He is however, a complete asshole to everyone else. He hates kids, other dogs, cats (except our cat George), fish, birds, grass, the wind, the noise the tap sometimes makes, flies (actually I think he secretly likes them, loves to chase them) and pretty much anything else that isn’t us. It is for this reason that we do not let others touch or play with him, at all. You see, I researched the breed before we got him, so I knew he was going to be a tool to others pretty much forever. I was prepared, knowledgeable, INFORMED! I think some people just do not get what it takes to have a pet, that you have to understand what they aren’t AND what they ARE capable of (good or bad). People think I’m mean when they ask if their children can pat the doggy that looks like a toy – sorry guys! I love my dog way too much than to let him bite you and then have to kill him cause I’M A MORON!
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“You see, I researched the breed before we got him, so I knew he was going to be a tool to others pretty much forever.”
That just gave me my laugh of the day.
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I was going to say that we could say the same thing about some men, and then I remembered it can apply equally to everyone! *grin*
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I’m so glad you’re realistic about your chihuahua and keep it away from people! Neighbours down the road from my mum used to have a pack of the little rats, who used to charge out and try to bite my ankles every time I went down the road to babysit (or for any other reason). I love dogs and have had them all my life, but nobody should be subject to that kind of harassment when they walk down the street.
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I’m SO OVER the dog owners who don’t pick up their dogs’ poop on the nature strip right outside my house. It’s just fabulous when I’m lugging my 2 children, pram and fifty million supermarket shopping bags into the house in the rain and we all step in it. And when this happens at least once a month. INCONSIDERATE!!!
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hahahahhaa better watch your step!
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When I see someone whose dog is having a poo and they are pretending not to notice, I usually wait until it’s clear that they are going to try and walk away and leave it, then call out to them at the top of my voice, “Oh excuse me, I’m not sure if you noticed, but your dog has just done a big poo. Here, I have a plastic bag for you to clean it up!” (I carry bags around with me for my dog)
It usually does the trick.
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So, look, it’s nice that you have a kid. Yes, I’m sure he, or she, is adorable, obedient, great with other people, would never bite anyone and loves your family very, very much.
But that’s what the parents of the kid that bit me would have said too.
It’s your choice to have a kid. Love it. Enjoy it. But keep it responsibly. Just don’t expect me to love it too.
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Hahahaha amen
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Touché. Love this comment.
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Awesome!! You took the words right out of my mouth.
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A lot of people already don’t like kids and are quite happy to let people know about it.
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Totally agree.
I haven’t read the other comments on here but I firmly believe that dogs that have bitten people should be put down.
When we were kids my sister and I were both bitten by a dog belonging to family friends – two different dogs, different families in incidents that were about 10 years apart. Both dogs were family dogs that were ‘used to’ kids. Both bit a child.
My parents suggested to their friends that the dogs be destroyed. Neither family would do it. Within a week both dogs had bitten other children in incidents that were far more serious than the inital one on us and one child had to be hospitalised and was seriously hurt.
Both dogs were destroyed after the second incidents.
We don’t have a a dog and never will.
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Just yesterday, my son and I were waiting outside a fish and chip shop for my husband to buy our dinner. We watched two men and two women arrive with their two large dogs. One of the women took ‘control’ of both dogs while the others went into the cafe. The woman spoke to the dogs like they were her babies, while the dogs literally dragged her around the footpath. I am glad we were inside the car. I am glad no-one happened along. That woman would not have had a hope of stopping ‘her babies’ mauling anyone. And I doubt that neither she or the dogs would have taken responsibility for any incident either.
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By what stretch of logic does “large” equate to savage? And how do you know what the woman would or wouldn’t have done? And how would the dogs have “taken responsibility”? I don’t even know where to start with this one…
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I have two large breed dogs too and when my partner and I walk to the shop with them I let them “drag” me around the footpath to sniff and explore for a bit if there’s no other people near by, because its their walk too so why make them sit quietly if theres no reason to? That doesn’t mean that I can’t gain control of my dogs and have them sit quietly within seconds if I needed to. Who are you to judge on whether or not that woman could control or take responsibility of her animals? Based on your comment they didn’t even act aggressively! You just made an assumption about a person and situation you have no idea about based on your own opinions.
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I saw a lady walking her staffy on bridge rd Richmond and it stuck its whole head into an oncoming pram with a small baby in it. The owner of the dog didn’t even say anything, just kept walking and didn’t pull the dog away particularly quickly.
I think the mother and I were too stunned to speak! Just appalling…
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That’s exactly the type of thing I worry about walking a baby in a pram…which is why I always keep a sunshade or strapped over the pram. It wouldn’t stopped a determined attack, but would deter at least (I hope!).
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OMG another AJ! Hello other AJ!
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We have a gorgeous dog and I must admit I do sometimes struggle to empathise with why people don’t like/are afraid of dogs (particularly my cuddle golden retreiver cross).
HOWEVER, I do understand that some adults and children have a fear of dogs based on a scary experience and that fear can be hard to shift.
What I do have an issue with is parents who it seems are making their children afraid of dogs. We have been spending a lot of time with some friends friends with young children (mostly at their request) with our dog, socialising him (he’s a puppy) with them, and vice versa. I know you can never trust a dog 100% and we wouldn’t ever leave him alone with the kids, but it’s great to see the kids learning how to interact with the dog, and the dog learning that he needs to be more gentle with these ‘little people’. It’s been a great experience for all of us, and the girls are getting more comfortable with the dogs, and know to say ‘down’ and hold their hand up if they feel the dog is too close. The girls are also learning not to pull our dog’s tail (not that he reacts at all, but they have done it and are being taught not to).
Contrast this with another couple with young girls about the same age. Yes, our dog will lick hands occasionally, and we are teaching him not to). This happened to one of the girls from this family and she wasn’t sure how to take it. The dad said ‘come and stand behind me and I’ll protect you’…..basically encouraging her to be fearful, which I think is a shame. Particularly from a dog that is just walking slowly around, not jumping, biting, licking etc. Anytime the dog came near her he jumped in front of her.
Obviously the safety of the children is paramount, but I think parents need to take an active role in teaching their kids about animals and how to deal with them instead of being scared. Dog owners also need to take responsibility for their dogs adn teach them how to interact with visitors/children. If your dog cant do that safely, yes, you probably need to keep him/her away from others.
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You’ve just saved me writing my own thoughts; I agree with everything you said. The only things I would add are:
(a) Fear confuses dogs; you’re not sending clear messages so they often won’t respond predictably and make freak out because you’re freaking out.
(b) poor dog behaviour is almost always the fault of the owner and
(c) I think it’s a genuine lost life experience to not get to befriend a dog!
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We spend half our time in a country where rabid dogs roam the streets, so our kids our being taught to give all dogs a wide berth, unless we say it’s ok.
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That’s fine, and makes sense in your context.
In Australia, having your child hide behind you any time you see a go is unnecessary and just breeds fear for no reason
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The other thing that is really irritating is people who get a dog and then ignore it, resulting in a dog that barks constantly. We have a neighbouring dog yapping day and night because no one ever interacts with the poor thing and it is crazy bored. If you want a cute puppy, make sure you are prepared to walk it and give it attention when it grows up too, poor dog deserves that at the very least.
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Amen
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I am only over one dog owner – the one that consistently lets his/her mutt crap on my front lawn. Always in exactly the same spot. Always right where I want to walk to my front door. If only my rental property had a front gate. I am at the stage where I feel like sticking a sign in the grass saying F*CK OFF.
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Someone near me actually does have a sign on their front lawn which reads: “If your dog doesn’t want it, neither do I. I know who you are. Pick up your dog shit or I’ll call the council”
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Or you could always Return to Sender.
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put the dog shit on his front door step or in his mail box. That’ll teach em.
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I can’t stand it when someone’s dog comes over to me and starts sniffing around me, and I become visibly uncomfortable, and the owner says “Don’t worry, he’ll just lick you to death!” Um, that’s disgusting. I don’t want your dog licking me. Why does this seem to make ME the socially inappropriate one??
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We had a dog education visit to my kids school. They were taught the right way to meet a dog, warning signs of dog aggression and things like that. The more I read here, the more I am thinking this was a really good idea.
I don’t let my children approach strange dogs willy nilly. If they want to say hi to a dog I take my cue from the owner and the dog’s behaviour and then I let them allow the dog sniff their outstretched hand. If that goes well, then its Ok to pat. But I’m watching carefully. Got to be cautious when it comes to kids and dogs and maybe we need more education in schools.
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I occasionally walk with my dog off-leash around the suburbs, as she’s at an age now where I can trust her to stick to my side and not go tearing off after something interesting, but I always, always leash her when I see another person, or dog. Always. And off-leash running is done at a designated dog park. If she were something more intimidating than a whippet, I wouldn’t even do that.
Again, not difficult to be responsible.
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Isn’t it funny how people think as long as they are comfortable with a behaviour then you should be? I think this is across the board from children to cats and in this case dogs. I used to take my cat for walks all the time as they are indoor cats and have no yard. One afternoon sitting in our regular park my cat is sitting on my back while i lay on my belly drawing. This is a dogs ON a leash park, of which at the time i was a regular. This woman and her dog came flying at me and my cat, the beauty of which was my cat didn’t know what a dog was so she simply sat and eyeballed the dog. Well the abuse i got!!. I smiled an pointed at the sign saying dogs should be on leash and the leash that my cat was on. Facetious? yes! but i remember the definition democracy was “my right to swing my arms around ends where your nose begins.
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That’s funny. We had a cat, kitten really, when I was a child, who was scared of nothing. We were staying with friends of my parents & the people from over the road came over & asked us to restrain our cat because it was terrorising their dogs!
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Wait, so she abused you cos you had your cat in the park? I’d be so surprised if I had seen you I wouldn’t even think to do anything but marvel at you. I definitely wouldn’t have rushed over with my dog! Seems pretty obvious what she hoped to achieve there (scaring your cat away not realising it was leashed, maybe?)
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Jeez, what was her problem? Your cat was restrained and you were both sitting there minding your own business. Did she say why she was angry?
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I might come over to you but it would be slowly and quietly and because I’d find the sight so cute and hope you’d let me say hello to the cat.
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It was actually hilarious, the dog obviously saw the cat and ran to try to eat it. The owner then ran after it and shouted “what kind of effing idiot brings their cat to a park?” Zephyr, the cat, didn’t even flinch.
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He’s purty! Burmese? They have amazing personalities- it’s never boring with them.
I can just picture him with a “you are so beneath me” look on his face when the dog approached. Hee.
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He’s gorgeous. We have a male that’s grey tipped named Julius and a female chocolate tipped named Cleo (cleopatra). They don’t like each other and our 18 month old dog is terrified of them. He’s part mastiff/great Dane.
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its the giant breeds that are the most sooky in my experience, my mastiff mix is terrified of my Burmese and Siamese too, it cracks me up when they go near him and he hitails it outta there
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A Burmese – kind of says it all, really. Someone once described their behaviour as a ‘dog in cat’s clothing’. Reminds me of my sister’s cat – the most sociable feline I ever met.
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Actually kids SHE was a Tonkinese not a burmese. Zephyr was the greatest cat she played fetch and walked on a leash. She came running or treats and at the sound of her name. Her favourite place was on my shoulder. I miss her some days
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I don’t think your glue nosed baby is cute and I don’t want it thrust into my arms so I have to tell you how beautiful and divine it is.
I don’t want your dog jumping/ drooling/sniffing or licking me with the tongue it’s just used to lick it bum. I know you love it and think it’s the most adorable creature God’s ever put breath into but I DON’T!!!!
Anyone want me to tell you how I feel about you changing your baby’s pooie nappy on my new lounge and letting your dog sh*t on public property??!
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I agree dog owners should be responsible and not let their dogs frighten people. But by the same token, being unreasonably frightened by a dog’s friendly behaviour, as this author is, does no-one any favours.
My sister is firghtened of dogs, having been knocked over as a toddler. She has, without intending to, passed on that fear to her two sons, just through her body language. The boys now cant see a dog on the other side of the street without feeling a bit nervous. If it so much as walks towards them, they get quite panicky.
Its really sad that those kids have to live in this dog-loving world, with such an unneccessary fear, that is so frequently triggered.
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I think story this is a massive generalisation, and just an oppotunity for a whinge by the writer. One of your weakest topics.
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It’s not a generalisation because she specifically refers to those who take responsibility for their dogs in public areas and those who don’t as two separate groups of people.
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The title indicates otherwise. ‘I’m over dog owners.’ No, ‘I’m over irresponsible dog owners.’
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What are you, the blog-topic police? “Worst. Topic. Everrrrrr!”
Seriously though, the author was talking quite specifically about her own mother, and then gave quite a few other specific examples. The generalities were few. Perhaps you could suggest your own topics to the mamamia writers, or write an article of your own.
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Get over yourself, and if you are going to “quote” someone, at least have the decency to quote verbatim.
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I once had to ask a woman on a beach to call her dogs off, as they were stalking my horse, while I was riding her. She said the standard “They won’t hurt you”, to which I replied “She doesn’t know that”. I was just gobsmacked that she didn’t recognise them stalking, one each side of me, creeping up from behind, of course the horse – the prey animal- recognised it & wanted to run away!
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Were they Kelpies by any chance? I have a Border Collie and they stalk her (a working dog herself)
Nutters.
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No, I’m no sure what they were, Rhodesian Ridgebacks possibly, that sort of size. The point really is, if your dog is in a public place, & someone feels threatened by it, then you should restrain it. The dogs in question had probably never seen a horse, the horse is very familiar with dogs & never otherwise bothered by them.
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The owner of the dogs sounds like a moron, I have a ridgeback and when she was being trained I quite often had to check her when she displayed the beginnings of stalking behaviour towards birds, our cats, our other dog ect. Im surprised the dog owner wasnt concerned your horse may have been spooked by her dogs and injured them by kicking out, which of course, would be the dog owners fault for allowing her dogs to intimidate another animal!
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I have a 10month old 8.5kg puppy. I keep him on his lead when we go out walking – if parents want to let their kids approach us they are most welcome to (and many do!) but I try to leave the ball in their court, so to speak. Responsible dog ownership doesn’t have to be that hard or complicated!
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Dogs are domesticated animals. They live with humans. They offer companionship, and when placed within a loving family, are hugely rewarding and can teach children many, many valuable lessons about caring for those around them. Dogs have successfully lived with humans for thousands of years. In short, they’re here to stay, whether you like it or not. As such, instead of pointing the finger at dogs – and dog owners – every. Single. Time. Parents need to educate their children on how to behave around dogs. And I know I’m not alone in thinking this because several governments and even local councils run programs on such things. Kids aged 5-9 are the ones most commonly attacked by dogs – and those kids are old enough to be told how to react around dogs. My five yo son has a severe developmental delay but even he knows to ‘be a tree’ if dogs look scared or aggressive, and he can also name all the signs to look for (lowered tail, lowered ears, growling or showing teeth, etc).
Yes, dog owners need to keep control over their dogs. But parents need to educate their children about how to interact with animals in much the same way we need to teach them road safety, stranger danger, and all the other safety aspects of living in a community.
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Thanks! Just what I wanted to say. I love dogs.
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I’m a dog owner AND have kids. I have always taught my kids to never approach a dog without asking first (both myself and the owner) and they know to remain calm, keep their arms close to their body and hold out a downturned fist for the dog to smell.
I want them to love animals the same way I do (and my eight year old daughter is definitely following in my footsteps), but I also want them to respect the unpredictability of even the most docile dog.
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You’re not over dog owners, you’re over dickheads.
I completely agree that the above (and many of the below) examples are absolutely not ok, but try and give the majority of dog owners who do do the right thing and are responsible, a break.
Dogs are amazing animals and have bought so many good things and lessons (like enjoying the simple things in life, staying in the moment and being loyal to those you love) to my life.
As I type this, my big yellow Lab is asleep on my feet (it’s my favourite way to keep them warm) and waiting for my daughter to get home. One of the most heat-warming things to see is how much they love each other. They have grown up together (always under my watchful eye) and I have seen him play with her, snuggle with her and most lovely of all, I have heard her tell him when she is scared of starting school, her friend was mean to her etc. He sits like a big solid lump of love, letting her pour out all her fears and worries, and talk through her emotions (she talks to me too, but no-where near as much as to him). He then lays his head in her lap, licks her hand and she somehow knows everything will be ok. No wonder she calls him her best friend.
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Awwww best story
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Aww that story brought a tear to my eye! So sweet.
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That made me teary! I used to tell my dog everything too. He always listened, never told me I was being silly or I was wrong or it was my fault. He just let me rest my head on his back and talk.
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That’s beautiful!
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My friend had a labrador – their 5 year old daughter poked it repeatedly in the eye with a stick. then it bit her. It had never bit anyone before.
no blood was drawn
they put the dog down.
Some parents.
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How bloody awful! I would bite someone too if they poked me in the eye!!
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A family friend had bought boxer at the same time i bought my girl i used to bring her to the park adventures i noticed after about 12months the other dog was never there and the male owner used to stick to my side the whole day to play with Ophelia. When i asked where the dog was he admitted it had been put down for being agressive. I have had boxers and great danes my whole life since i was 3 and they are going to lock you death before anything. Of course if they are trained to be nasty they will, but even in the event of an intruder they will hold the person not bite them. Anyway he wouldn’t say any more i found out from my nonno later that their child, who he called “the idiot”, had stuck his finger up the dogs arse. I mean really i’d protest too!
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My ex-boyfriend took custody of our mutt when we broke up, about a year after the breakup he was trying to find a rental property to live in and ended up moving in with some mates who already had a couple dogs on the property and told him he wasnt able to have his dog there. he had our beautiful 3 year old dog put to sleep, he sacrifised that dogs life instead of giving him to me (he knew where I lived and his mother and sister both had my number) or attempting to rehome him.
some people.
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what a c***!
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Our small park has been taken over by dog owners (now called the dog park!). They refuse council regulations to keep dogs on a lead in the designated area but let them run free even into the children’s play area. The don’t pick up after their dog and if you mention the rules to them, the standard reply is, ‘What’s your problem?’ Council of course is weak and does nothing.I’ve nothing against dogs but the owners is another matter.
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I am tired of dogs and their owners too. I am tired of my children being licked on the face and the owners saying “oh is she giving you a kiss?” or “she is just saying hello”. My child has said to the owners that she is scared of the dog so can you just put the dog outside or keep it under control please! I have asked for the dog to be outside too but it keeps wandering in and licking all the small people! And pick up your dog’s poo people. Just because nobody else saw it does not mean it is invisible.
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Man I love this article.
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