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When I joined Facebook back in 2007 one of the first groups I “liked” was called something along the lines of ‘I judge you by your spelling and grammar’.
And this was true. I completely and utterly judged people’s intellect by their use of written language. I did this from a young age: I was the spelling superstar at primary school. To this day, typos jump out of a page at me.
This makes me cringe now. Why?
My third daughter appears to have dyslexia, or a phonological disorder as her speech pathologist calls it. The simplest definition of a phonological disorder being a problem connecting the sounds in words to the symbols they represent, i.e. letters and words.
Do you remember learning to read? This magical thing where you start looking at the alphabet and by 3 or 4 some of these letters mean something to you, and when you start school you are given home readers to take home every night. Somehow you go from reading along with your mum or dad “Here is the sun. Here is the bee.” and one day it all starts to click and you can do it by yourself.
For my first two daughters it was exactly like this, a magic process where suddenly they could read! Woo hoooo!
For my third daughter, no such luck. My third daughter aged 6 is bright and bubbly. A natural leader with a formidable spoken vocabulary. However by the middle of the year in Kindy I knew something was wrong. She recognised the letter P (which her name starts with), the letter T, and the letter S. And that was it. There was no way she was going to start to read when she couldn’t even recognise the alphabet.
I would sit at home with her for half an hour and say, here is the letter E. Let’s draw it. What starts with it? Let’s draw it again! The next day, she’d look at an E like she’d never seen it before in her life.
I spoke with her teacher who said she was in the normal spectrum for her age. I didn’t buy that and forked out for an assessment with a speech pathologist which revealed her phonological disorder. Her school teacher subsequently sat one on one with her and realised she wasn’t in the normal spectrum, but that’s another story for another day.
For the last 9 months we’ve been seeing a speech pathologist every week and, every single night, practising connecting the letters of the alphabet with the sounds they represent (A makes three sounds, the a of apple, the a of age, and the ahhhh of afternoon), amongst a host of other exercises. She’s made huge progress, and can now sound out words but it’s hard work and she’s got a long way to go before she comes a fluent reader. Her confidence in the classroom has however grown immeasurably and she no longer states as a fact to me “I’m dumb, mum.”
Is she stupid? Hell no. I’m not by any stretch suggesting my daughter will be included in such a list (though it would be wonderful), but famous dyslexics include Einstein, Da Vinci, John Irving, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Agatha Christie and Richard Branson. The different brain wiring which results in dyslexia certainly appears to have benefits. Although I do wonder if simply having to concentrate so completely and apply yourself so rigorously at such a young age gives you a tenacity and ability to focus which the rest of us don’t learn until much later, if ever.
So why do I write this? It’s simply a message of judge not. Judge not your peers who have trouble spelling or pronouncing words that are unfamiliar to them. Judge not the kids at your children’s school who take an age to complete a comprehension test or can’t write or read a simple sentence when others kids are flying ahead. It doesn’t mean they’re dumb. On the contrary, they may have some of the sharpest minds around.
And if you’ve got a child who is having trouble learning to read, early intervention is best. I think the best first step is to talk to your GP although I went directly to a speech pathologist who was recommended to me and that path has worked well for me.
Jane Oxley is the mother of three daughters, a marketer, and a fledgling writer. She is admired by her children for her meringue and pavlova-making skills, but is unable to sew, build, or do anything else remotely practical.
Do you judge people who can’t spell?
Comments
205 Comments so far
I was asked if I had ever been tested for dyslexia three years ago I was horrified, I am 45 years old. It took me five attempts to spell the word dyslexia even after reading all about the symptoms for the last hour. I always belived the cause was missed schooling in my junior year. Flash cards were used to learn phonics.I have always used a vast volcabulary in speech but spelling the words has always been a major issue. I am glad you have recognised the symptoms early for your daughter. I am still picking up the piceses.
My current work position is a Managaging Director of a IT Solutions company.
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On a much more trivial note, and nothing to do with the important subject of development of children, spelling always jumps out at me too and I would also judge others on their spelling skills, until I worked with some very, very bright people. Doctors and scientists, PhD’s and Hons degrees galore and spelling and grammar in their everyday emails? – oh my word! It’s as if some people are actually too smart and driven and busy to bother with any sort of pretence at correct spelling – or even with putting all the words into a sentence! So, no, there’s no judging someones intelligence from the way they write
Nuff said! 
))
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Excellent post. I am an avid reader and correct spelling usually comes easily to me. When it comes to my own words I am fairly careful about getting the spelling right. But it irks the hell out of me when the spelling police keep popping up here. Doesn’t matter what someone has said, maybe “My grandad just had a cardiak arrest” and some insenstive nit will pipe up with “Cardiac NOT cardiak!!” Grrr. Priorities??
Also, bad spelling/grammar is no indication of anything. My husband is not the world’s best speller, but he’s fantastic with numbers and smart as a whip. So judge not. And get your priorities right, peeps.
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on a different note- I CRINGE when I hear:
somethinK
he should OF
SaTDAY
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This is such a sweetly written post – it made me cry when I got to the bit where your daughter had stopped identifying herself as ‘dumb’.
Well done listening to your instincts – you sound like such a good Mum!
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Thanks for this article!
It is important not to judge, focus on strengths and then work out how best to tackle areas of difficulty. As an occupational therapist I see all kinds of developmental difficulties. Some are organic and other happen due to a lack of exposure (opportunity to develop a skill). We also need to think about performance in terms of function – good enough is good enough!
Development happens through the interaction child and world – much of it is guided by parents, play and education. I think at times we speed ahead in one area rather than view child development holistically.
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this is interesting! We sent our boys back to primary school today. For the first time in over a year
Tomorrow I have a parents meeting with our six year old son because he doesnt know the meaning of a “Lead Pencil” yet she has only had him in her class room for one day!
We did a lot of “Hands on learning” while out and about, and we called our Lead Pencils “Pencils” yet she is judging him on what she has so far seen.
He is an active boy who prefers to build and explore.
He has the most amazing smile, the kindest heart, the biggest hugs and the most amazing way with making sure everyone around him is doing ok. Yet she has judged him on what she sees him NOT being able to do, instead of what he can do
Children develop when they want to, and will find a reason for reading. Our 10 year old only started reading in the last 12 months because he discovered a series of books that he likes to read.
Instead of directing our kids into learning, while not let them decide when they want to learn?
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I understand what you are saying in terms of integrating flexibility into the structure of a child’s education. The story of your son’s teacher is unsettling, particularly after she’s had such a brief interaction. However, I have issue with your statement that ‘children develop when they want to…’ (although the point about finding a reason for reading is reasonable). This is not a view that should be encouraged. There is so much literature around that outlines motor and language development for a reason. From phonological norms (e.g. when a child should cease saying Ws instead of Rs, etc) to motor milestones (e.g. when a child should be able to sit up independently, walk, etc), these are in place to help parents and professionals identify areas a child is a having difficulty with, and help implement strategies for them to achieve these skills to the best of their ability. Children do not have control over their development; it is in response to their environment and, in relation to some medical conditions, genetics. So, to redirect my point, language stimulation occurs through constant verbal and written interaction with language, and should be occurring from day one of an individual’s life. Not every child is going to be an avid reader, and that’s more than fine; it’s one of the many ways every one is different and in which we identify the areas of life we’re more interested in. However, reading is SUCH an essential skill to life, and leads to effective communication. You will find that a child who is exposed to language early in life, through both written and verbal input and output, will have a much more developed and adaptable vocabulary than one who does not have this early exposure to language. In every day life, effective communication dictates whether you get what you want and/or need, and contributes towards building good relationships in life.
I do not mean to attack you. I’ve worked with too many children in the last year who have such depleted vocabularies due to low language stimulation at home, and this impacts their performance at school hugely. In speech therapy, the clinician can only do so much in half hour sessions, usually once a week (in community health/school settings), but if this work is not consolidated at home through the constant reinforcement of the importance of language in every medium, that half hour of work is lost.
(I apologise if I’ve gone on a slight tangent here, but educating as regards the importance of early language stimulation happens to be a great passion of mine, and I can get on my soap box, even when provided with a only slightly relevant stimulus)
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I think there is a huge difference between being dyslexic and being a poor speller. My brother struggles with some words and I suspect a mild dyslexia, which obviously isn’t his fault.
However, there seems to be a growing number of young adults who struggle with words that seem to be primary school learnings, yes I’m talking about mixing up ‘their, there and they’re and similar words. I find people who otherwise seem capable of spelling complex words mix these ones up, so I doubt it’s their general spelling that is affected. I blame spell check, texting and a lack of interest…
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Oh Anon 2 – I didn’t even notice the grammatical errors in the first post, until I read yours! Well picked up and too funny!! Tea came spurting through my nostrils…
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My 6 yo cannot, nor is expected to, read fluently. He is only in prep! He does get confused by letters still and cannot yet sound out words.
Are we expecting too much of children?
I have one gifted child, who by no means could read fluently half way through prep.
Obviously I don’t know your circumstances, Jayne, and you do have a professional’s opinion, by it just makes me cringe a little to read how much you are expecting of your children.
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As a 3rd year student speech pathologist and a grammar enthusiast (I find grammar Nazi too negative a term), I am aware of the prevalence of phonological disorders, and the difficulties individuals with these disorders have with reading and writing exercises. However, as someone below has pointed out, there is a huge difference between disordered language comprehension and production, and a disinterest in learning the proper use of the English language. ‘Definately’ instead of ‘definitely’; ‘seperate’ instead of ‘separate’; misuse of your/you’re; it’s/its; and so on are so common in university standard work (and even in some published papers I’ve come across. This cannot and should not be lumped under the umbrella of ‘dyslexia’ or a phonological disorder. To me, it reeks of teenagers who experience some dark days and some awesome days labelling themselves as having bipolar disorder.
It’s unfortunate that not many people are aware of the many language disorders and delays individuals can have, and posts like these are great for increasing awareness. However, caution must be exercised, as in a world in which proper understanding and use of the English language is deteriorating rapidly, these ‘reasons’, although commonly appropriate, can be used by those who are too lazy to learn the proper use of their language.
The take home message though is not to judge someone if they can’t spell; god knows, I’ve worked with so many kids who have difficulty in this area due to their parents’ lower levels of education, and thus lower levels of language stimulation. However, I will judge unreservedly if a mistake is pointed out to you (in a friendly way, I promise) and no effort whatsoever is made by the individual to fix it, or if they respond with ‘who cares?’ We should all care.
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Ha, that’s what I was trying to get across above, but you beat me to it, and so much better
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Jane this story really hit a note with me. Growing up I had a lot of trouble spelling words (sometimes i still do) and although I could read in my head when reading out loud the sounds often became a jumble.
I would constantly tell my parents that I was dumb and although I was not diagnosed with dyslexia, I had my own issues with being able to visualise and sound out words.
My whole of high school was filled with people jumping out of the chairs to shoot me down when I misspelt a word and this used to infuriate me to no end. I used to think if you know what I am trying to say why are you so quick to judge?
I am now in my finally year studying Journalism (a career choice which revolves around words) and I would say that it is my parents who instilled within me the confidence to not let it deter me, to give each word a go and not be ashamed to make a mistake.
I am sure you will do this for your daughter.
To all those people out there that take joy in shooting down spelling mistakes, instead of being condescending about it, perhaps you should just gently point out the mistake.
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Jane,
Two years ago we started on the dyslexia journey with our middle child ( who was almost seven at the time ), two years later her spelling is still a work in progress but her reading is good – consider looking for a tutor who specialises with kids who have a dsylexia.
She too thought she was dumb .. now she knows that her brain is wired differently – like someone who is good at music or maths or art!
What she struggles with in literacy she makes up for in personality.. your daughter has one key advantage – she has you in her corner!
All the best
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Spelling errors jump out of the page for me too. I can’t help it. For me, it’s important to (at least try to) present oneself as literate. I don’t necessarily think people are ‘dumb’ for bad spelling. Maybe careless or rushed. But I don’t really understand why they don’t care to check beforehand.
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I had an annoying boss who would mock people’s written English when it was bad: using the wrong words; not understanding words’ meanings, spelling mistakes, etc: even misuse of puncuation. ( Ha ha see previous sentence for deliberate punctuation mistakes. How witty I am in the mornings
))
What a knob he was! English is not some people’s first language, it has many weird and changeable rules, and only a handful of people actually master it.
If you are writing professionally for the public, I do not think there are many excuses for getting the language wrong. There are plenty of pendants who will check your work before you publish.
But otherwise, I figure people are just doing their best.
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Lovely post. My dyslexia was only picked up well afte rleaving school when I worked as a secretary to a group of occupational therapists. Rather than sacking me when I kept getting phone messages wrong, they asked me if I would like to be tested.
It turns out I had figured out coping mechanisms for language from a very early age, which meant it was never picked up (I got all A’s in English). I only still have trouble with transcribing numerals. If I am writing them while someone reads them out, I often swap the order of a couple, but writing them down off a written page, I rarely do.
It’s a weird beast, dyslexia, and I try to not judge people, but I must admit to losing my mind when people misuse their, there and they’re. =D
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Like it or not we all judge others for various reasons, all of the time.
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the human condition: I compare you to what I think you ought to be
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There’s a difference between dyslexia (as my husband is) and people just having no clue or being incredibly lazy.
How many times has the whole lose/loose or your/you’re etc etc been broadcast? If you can’t pick it up now, then yes, I’m going to judge you. And I make no apologies.
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Great article! I don’t judge spelling or grammer if I can work out what they are trying to say it’s all good.
I have a 6 year old who like you daughter has a magnificant vocab but really struggles with reading and writing. She was a little behind in her sitting, crawling and walking when smaller but never talking!! She eventually gets it but just a little later than the ‘norm’. We certainly have been judged as parents that we haven’t read to her enough and spent time helping her with her homework. She is an only child so we spend lots of time concentrating on her reading etc but she just has not been interested and that interest is just coming now. I nearly cry everytime we have a parent teacher interview as we seem to concentrate on what she can’t do – I have now started to finished the interviews off with ‘OK so what are her strengths?’ It breaks my heart that she struggles but then I remember lots of people have overcome learning difficulties worse that she has.
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I’m dyslexic, my son is dyslexic. I’ve been called a moron, in pubic, and had my credibility questioned because of my lack of spelling. I do try very very hard to spell correctly, it takes me ages to write and double check, and if something has to be published, I do get it proof read.
Here’s the thing. No one has a right to judge another person or ridicule another person, especially for being less than they are. Your ability to be able to do something successfully should never be a bench mark for judging another persons intelligence or credibility. Not only do people misspell due to lack of formal education, or dyslexia or sight problems, but a great deal of people don’t have English as a first language. If you have a talent as a speller, and writer, you are lucky and have a head start in this English speaking area of the world.
I believe that many people online, rather than tackling an issue, opt for pointing out spelling or grammar issues, to discredit the writer, to put themselves above the writer. It is a form of bullying in my opinion. There are so many reasons that someone might make a grammatical error or misspell a word, particularly as many people now use smart phones with tiny keyboards and auto correct. If I see someone criticising another through a personal attack on their ability to spell or write, I DO make a judgment about THAT person,
1. They are lucky to be able to have the gift of writing.
2. By criticising another for lacking that, they are cruel, and trying to assert their superiority.
and 3. They probably don’t have a great grasp of the subject matter and should just not say anything.
It’s the message thats important, challenge the message NOT the ability of the person to articulate it. If the writer is a paid Journalist one expects a level of ability and professionalism, or at least sub-editing. There are so many more important issues to address in this world…pick one that doesn’t hurt another citizen. It hurts, it really hurts to have your Dyslexia thrown constantly in your face, even when you honestly apologise for misspelling a name.
If there were more awareness of Dyslexia, this type of bullying would happen less, but unfortunately in NSW Dyslexia doesn’t even exist, it has been replaced with the term “Specific Learning Disability” This is a “catch all” term for many learning delays, not just Dyslexia.The NSW Govt refuses to provide support to children with Dyslexia in schools, so most kids in schools who have Dyslexia, are eyed with scepticism, and are given entirely the wrong type of education. They aren’t slow learners, they just need to be taught in an entirely different way.
It will be too late for my son if they ever decide to support Dyslexia as a true disability in NSW, he’s already in year 9.
It’s all about money. If the Govt admit there is Dyslexia in Australia, like every other 1st world country, (Just Google Dyslexia Australia or Dyslexia NSW you will see what I mean, then look overseas for support groups, there’s such a huge gap, SPELD only opened an office in NSW a few years back, and its privately run) they would have to support those with it.
Spare a thought you great writers and spellers, you are seen as smart and professional. You will always be one step ahead, so lay off the bad spellers, it’s just too easy to make us feel bad. Sorry about the rant, but it’s a sore point…clearly. I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes I may have made in advance
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Beautifully said, Leonie. Saddens me to hear you’ve been publicly ridiculed for your dyslexia, sometimes people need to grasp the smallest mistake (like a name spelt wrong) and be nasty and negative to another person to make themselves feel better.
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I was publicly called a Moron, due to a spelling mistake, when I explained I had Dyslexia in a DM the guy questioned my honesty until I pointed him to an article I’d written on the subject. He then apologised, but it should never have happened. This article published in the Age in 2010 points out what I was saying about Dyslexia in Australia, although I’m not aware of how it is recognised in NSW…as my son, has no support for his Dyslexia at all…does anyone know if there is any in NSW and where I should go? http://www.theage.com.au/national/education/seeking-a-new-deal-on-dyslexia-20100528-wl5z.html
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Leonie thanks so much for sharing your story.
I wrote this to try and increase awareness as when I realised my daughter was having problems it was so hard to figure out the right way to go.
Our school counsellor told me there was no such thing as dyslexia which made it very tricky from the start.
I then read a couple of books which weren’t great, struggled to find great information online (particularly in NSW as you say), and ended up at my speech pathologist through a recommendation from my sister’s friend.
This has been really great for us but it’s really expensive, and the work she’s been doing at school doesn’t seem to support her at all (as you say, they learn differently). If we couldn’t afford speech pathology I don’t know what we would have done.
I’m not sure where else to put this, but if anyone does want a book to read to help them understand what dyslexia is (great for adults with dyslexia to read too I would imagine and includes tools and tips for helping dyslexic kids) there is a fantastic book called Overcoming Dyslexia by Dr Sally Shaywitz MD.
Thanks again Leonie.
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Thanks for the reply Janeox. I noticed when I started looking for support for my son, that England and the US had incredible resources for parents. Govt supported programs, and support groups. I was so shocked that there was nothing like that in Australia, except for SPELD which at the time was not available in NSW and only catered for spelling and reading delays.
My son has problems with spelling and grammar mainly, and Dyscalculia which is severe for maths. The issues around spelling grammar and Maths is sometimes the same in Dyslexia, not always though. He has a great deal of trouble with sequences. He couldn’t tie his own shoe laces for instance until forced to in year 7. He can’t remember the order of the months of the year. BUT….he can remember sequences of things he loves, like anything to do with gaming or computers! It follows then, that if a teacher can use what children are passionate about to teach them, they will find ways to remember sequences. It might be that they hang the sequence onto something else they care about.
I learned some spelling rules through the old rhymes we were taught in school like i before e except after c. If I don’t say that in my head when spelling some words I never ever remember the sequence. I find it so hard to even remember phone numbers. I have to practice over and over, so speed dial, is a gift.
If a teacher understands that trying to teach a student over and over by rote won’t work without matching sequences with something else like music…ie the Alphabet sung as in Sesame Street….or using rhymes to give the rules of english, they can teach Dyslexics. Sadly most teachers don’t have time to learn, and don’t understand this at all.
For me I can’t “see” words in my head, its like they are redacted, I recognise words as a whole word, but take my eyes of it for a second and I can’t “see” the word in my head to replicate it. Does that help? does it sound like what you are reading about.
I’m so sad for my son, at 15 I wonder if its too late to try and help him, and as a parent I’m often worn out fighting for him. He has other disabilities and so this is just one of them. He gets a dispensation in exams, but funnily enough its officially because of his other disabilities NOT his Dyslexia, because Dyslexia is not considered a disability yet. But its NOT his other disabilities that require extra time. The system is so bad, and so wrong. At 15 he’s totally over therapy, he’s a teenager…try to help as much as you can when they are young.
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Beautifully written Leonie. Being publicly mocked and ridculled is heartbreaking and something that all dyslixics go through at some stage or another. It’s such a horrible experince.
The lack of support in NSW is shocking. The only reason I got to where I am is becuase of my mum. I always think about those that don’t have someone who can fight for them.
It is about learning differently, I found leraning through the arts and one-on-one support learning worked for me but it has to be tailored to indivdual needs.
Reading and writing is a gift and a privagle. Only 10% of the world can read and write, it’s not something most people have the privagle of just having part of thier world.
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Loose thank you for your comment. I also took to the Arts, I am a visual learner, and as a child I was a fanatic reader. I also loved reading aloud, and became a professional actor and singer. Reading was never an issue because I love stories. My son also loves reading and stories. Spelling and grammar and maths has always been the problem, telling right from left. I was never diagnosed, and only realised my dirty little secret, when my son was diagnosed. I was so good at compensating for my Dyslexia that it was a total way of life. I hid it beautifully. But it was exhausting to do so.
I understand why people over react when criticised for their spelling or grammar, when you are constantly corrected, criticised, berated, told you are stupid, think you are stupid, held back in life due to your disablity some days, you might just have had enough and a persons seemingly innocuous joke about your poor spelling can tip you over the edge. It can be and is often exhausting trying to get it all right.
I write blog posts, but only had the confidence to start doing that around 3 years back, but I sometimes proof read them 20 times over before I publish, it can take me 5 hours to write a 1000 word story. I am learning about writing by doing this, but it can be very discouraging.
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I am apalled by what you are describing. I struggle with the Australian school system as it is (being from overseas), but that a disability like dyslexia isn’t dealt with and recognised is beyond me. Surely someone has made the connection that these kids, if dealt with properly, can become successful citizens, making it a worthwhile investment.
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I have never been diagnosed with any reading or spelling or any type of disorder, simply because these things are not considered important in my country. Yet, the fact is that regardless of how many times I see, use, write or practice spelling a word, an hour, or sometimes less than an hour later, I “forget” how a word is spelt, and I have to double check, triple check and at times I become paranoid with fear because I may have spelt a word wrong.
Honestly,my spelling isn’t that bad ( at least in my opinion), I usually mix up the order of letters, ( other than the first and last letters, which means than the human brain can still process it, research says so, as well as experience), and at times I use the wrong letter ( eg: justifyable instead of justifiable), I still get judged for the smallest error.
My way of dealing with these types of situation is by simply saying ” I do not spell properly” to a person and simply refusing to let them make me feel bad.
As for online, I do get really annoyed, because if I spend my time writing a post that expressing my opinion to another person, and the only response they can come up with is to point to the one or two spelling errors I start to think that my point is only valid or makes sense if I can spell correctly, and at the same time I wonder if that person just doesn’t have a response to make and would rather magnify an error than pay attention to the point I’m trying to make.
It’s not that I don’t care about spelling or that I don’t pay attention to it, it is simply that I’ve come to the point that I think to much time is spent trying to make a message look nice, than actually trying to understand what someone is trying to say.
That is just my opinion, I do not mean offense to anyone, and I am sorry for the spelling/grammar errors.
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I am not overly fussed with people’s spelling as we can’t all be a great speller (I was always the best in class in primary school). I do, however, have problems with people’s grammar I’d guess you’d call it. The your and you’re thing drives me nuts!! Its something that gets taught in primary school. I even have a friend in her 30s who has a problem with of and off. Again, something taught in primary school. Genuine problems like dyslexia are fair enough but I don’t feel there is an excuse for the your and you’re mixups. I recall when my daughter started prep she used to get her b and d around the wrong way as well as p and q. It was suggested she get her eyes checked. I got them checked even though I didn’t feel this was the problem. I solved it for myself. Problem? She was left handed and learning to write the letters just felt weird for her (so she said). I sat with her every night doing practices with the letters until she figured out the correct ones and I let her start and finish the letter wherever she likes, as long as its the correct one. My dad was and still is at almost 70 an absolute shocking speller. It frustrates me no end.
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Jane thank you for sharing. I’m dyslexic and my mum picked up on it when I was in year 1. I was at school in the 80s and they told her I would ‘start learning when I wanted to’. She never gave up and fought for me to get into the I.R. classes (which took 5 years to get into.) In the meantime Mum encouraged me to take up drama classes and music which were languages I understood and by participating in these activities I grew my confidence.
Mum took me to a speech pathologist in year 5 and it was the start of a long journey. In year 6 I started the I.R. classes and by year 7 I was reading and writing at a year 2 level. (Mum wrote about her journey as a parent here http://griffithreview.com/edition-11-getting-smart/moving-private)
In year 7 I failed every single one of my exams and I balled my eyes out. I hadn’t told anyone at my school about my dyslexia. That’s when I learnt the importance of telling people and that if you share your story people are willing to help. I ended up finishing the HSC (with a lot of assistants – readers, writers,extra time and extra UAI points) and got into uni.
I’ve got a BA in Fine Arts, a Diploma in Journalism and I work in a job that relys on good communication – I read, write and talk all day! What helps me everyday is that the people I work with know about my dyslexia and I’m able to ask for help when I need it. I still have my bad days, days that I can’t read a word or just can’t seem to spell I thing. But as I get older they become fewer.
My friend at work the other day pointed out that because of my dyslexia I’m probably a better communicator and better writer than those who aren’t just because I’m more aware. It takes a bit longer but I always get there.
I find it an advantage to be dyslexic and not to see everything through the traditional rules – we rule the world if only everyone saw it through our eyes.
But on another note, it’s also very hard to communicate our journey’s and stories as it’s not very accepted in our society. The education system refuses to acknowledge it as a disability and only classify as a disorder. And with a lack of understanding as stories aren’t often shared and there is a huge lack of research in this area it’s not easy for others to understand. It’s important to remember you don’t grow out of being dyslexic you learn strategies to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.
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Well said!
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Thanks! Extra assistance for exams etc must be important as you get older.
I agree that sharing your story is important, and in a number of ways.. one of the reasons I wrote this article was that I spoke with a mum at school recently whose child is having similar problems.
She had spoken with the school’s reading recovery teacher who had revealed that there are 11 kids in my daughter’s year alone who need help and they only have room for 3 in reading recovery!
Uncovering the problem, even at an institutional level, must surely help.
And it’s great to know you now read and write all day
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Fantastic article Jane! My 12 year old son has dyslexia. We were very fortunate that his year 1 teacher picked it up in his first term of school. It took another 5 years of assessments and various treatments for him to catch up to his peers. He is now an avid reader (I never thought that would happen after the hell of home readers) but is still a reluctant writer. Amazingly he is a fantastic speller! One of the best things we did was to take him to a behavioural optometrist. Often children with dyslexia have trouble focusing on the letters and cannot even see the differences in them. Every activity etc she gave us to do worked perfectly. He went from barely recognising any letters at the age of 7 to scoring 98% for spelling for the year 12 months later.
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It just shows that there are a few areas you need to concentrate on with your kids. Making sure they don’t pick up the “like yeah/ anythink/brought not bought/nuffink/” things, that they have clean straight teeth and don’t go overboard on the visible peircings and tattoos. They are all fixable or avoidable and make a massive difference to how they are perceived and accepted throughout their lives, justifiably or not.
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I’m an early childhood teacher and I just love this article! I wish I could send this home to the parents of the children in my class
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Do!! And thanks for your comment
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I just wanted to add that even outside Dyslexia or developmental disorders, spelling can be less than easy for even the cleverest of people. My niece is 9 and highly gifted at mathematics, but she considers herself to be “crap” at spelling. She is average or slightly above for her age, but considering her abilities, spelling is far from her strength. The other day she and her Aunty saw a model/paper plane or aircraft of some kind (something on tv) and her Aunty was thinking “ooh, I don’t know if that would fly very well” and then my niece says out loud “I wonder if it’s aerodynamic…” Seriously, from a 9yr old haha. Yet there is a good chance she couldn’t spell aerodynamic! Spelling is not everything…
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I try not to judge people who can’t spell. I do find it very hard though not to judge people who don’t spell check at work.
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If you have a business and use bad grammar in advertising, I will totally judge you. Same goes for teachers (my sister and husband both teach and I’ve heard horror stories about teachers not being able to spell). Ditto any type of report or formal email in a professional setting.
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Yes. I’m a teacher, and cringe every time I see an error in a school newsletter!! Highly embarrassing!! Surely we can get it right in education!!
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My little one is still really little, but I have friends with older children who have needed therapy to overcome learning disabilities and have seen how important early intervention is. The ones who received it were the ones whose parents were clued in because of their own involvement in the field of education or similar fields or who had teachers who were very observant and clued in when the children were in their first or 2nd year of schooling (as in the earliest years). Just another reason why skilled teachers and childcare workers are so valuable.
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I am dyslexic. I will never understand the mysteries of grammar. It doesn’t matter how many times people try to teach me it simply does not make a dent in my consciousness. But I work hard at editing any substantial or important piece of writing. Dyslexics usually have to work harder & longer but we get there in the end.
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This is such a great post. I used to be a Judgy McJudgy pants too (and sometimes I still can’t help myself), but once I started copywriting for a living I realised;
a) you will always miss the most obvious spelling mistakes and that why’s a fresh pair of proofing eyes is vital for anything really important… like a Myer ad.
b) There are a lot of people who have set ideas as to what correct ‘grammar’ is and isn’t. The truth is our language constantly evolves. And these days we can start sentences with conjunctives like and…
Meanwhile, I also know that while my oldest son picked up reading quickly (as if by magic!) my younger son is finding it much harder work – and that means a lot more work for us as parents in helping with homework. So I applaud you Jane for putting in all those hours and investing in private support, because it’s clearly paying off with her confidence in her own abilities. What more could you want at the age of 6?
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Thanks Sara. I have to admit that I do still occasionally struggle not to be a McJudgy pants as you’ve so delightfully coined! Especially in my day job with resumes and the like.
However, having sat and worked one-on-one with my daughter for hours and hours (and as I continue to do!), I will never ever forget how hard it can be.
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An oldie but a goodie!
Grammar: Knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
I’m a Gen Xer and I am constantly surprised by the number of my peers who say they were never taught grammar at school!
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This is a topic I am very sensitive about. I was educated in a time when creative writing was considered more important than spelling & grammar. I’m also dyslexic which wasn’t discovered until my teens so I didn’t receive the early assistance needed.
I don’t need other people to judge me on my spelling or grammar as I do a good enough job of that myself. I hate feeling dumb for not being able to write what I want because I can’t remember how to spell a word. All I can say is thank god for spell check.
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I don’t judge poor spellers, there are just so many of them, it would do my head in. I do admit (as a teacher) being a bit judgemental about other teachers who are really bad spellers, and poor spelling on professional websites or signage/menu boards outside shops. Other than that, I tend be more mildly irritated than judgemental. I was and am, one of those, for whom the English language was easy to learn and natural.
One of my friends posted this on my FB wall the other day because she thought of me haha
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I went directly to a speech pathologist who was recommended to me and that path has worked well for me.
http://www.totango.com/
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Last week I saw the following bumper sticker (spelling and grammar included):
“If it’s got tits or tyres, your gonna have problems”
I judged that guy.
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rightly so …
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My neighbour has one that reads “up the bum no baby’s”
I’m always like “no baby’s what? What?!” and then my brain explodes.
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I think that comment sums up this entire post perfectly!
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I have been judged and attacked on this blog quite a few times over my spelling and grammar when people did not like my comments . I do not have a degree and struggled my way through school but feel i am getting a whole new education from just reading and writing on here.
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Please try to take just the positives. That’s the only thing worthwhile.
I am uni educated and was excellent at spelling and grammar. Worst of all, the style of writing you use for uni has kind of stuck. Still, sometimes wrongly spelled words etc slip through. I’m blaming the iPad, not my laziness and lack of editing before posting.
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my cousin has dyslexia so I dont judge people on their poor spelling, but one thing that I’m noticing more of that really worries me is the growing trend of teenagers not knowing the differences between their/there/they’re, too/to/two, than/then ect. and spelling words that end with a ‘G’ with a ‘K’ – somethink, anythink. whats up with that? is that a form of dyslexia, laziness or just not knowing?
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I don’t think it’s just teenagers. You probably notice it more now but people of all ages have trouble with spelling and grammar. As for mispronouncing words, well they probably pick this up from people around them. My mum’s 63 and I always pick her up for saying Satday which really annoys me.
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Jess – may I be picky with you and point out that it isn’t “ect”, it is “etc” – that is, short for the Latin “et cetera”. I’ll let you off this time on the basis it could have been a typo.
Also agree with Kaz, it sure isn’t just teens. Incorrect usage is everywhere.
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In this case you sure can be picky, Picky! Thanks for teaching me something new
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It also may be computers…by that I mean typing rather than writing. When I hand write (which is rarely now and I am far, far, far from a teen ager (each “far” represents 10 years from mid teens!), I never make the above mistakes…however, when I type (email, facebook, posts like this), I make them more often than I like to admit. I’m not sure why this is, but friends have confirmed they are the same.
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I work with migrants and refugees and, amongst other things, teach English as a Second Language. I am so used to looking out for spelling and grammar errors that I naturally spot them quite easily in any form of writing, whether that be text messages, Facebook status updates or newspaper articles. However, if they are in e-mails/facebook status updates/text messages, I don’t really judge that much. Not everyone is skilled at language. My cousin, for example, is a terrible speller, but he fantastic with his hands and has great computer skills that I could only dream of! Yes, I am a better speller than him, but when my computer is not working I am useless, and I know who I will be calling!
Despite having said this, I don’t think it’s a good thing to have spelling/grammar mistakes in any kind of professional writing, as this can be easily solved by having someone proof read your work.
People underestimate how difficult the English language is in regards to both spelling and grammar. Every rule has an exception and the way we spell our words makes absolutely no sense at all! Here is an example of a poem I give my students:
> I take it you already know
> Of tough and bough and cough and dough
> Others may stumble, but not you,
> On hiccough, thorough, tough and through;
> Well done! And how you wish perhaps
> To learn of less familiar traps?
> Beware of heard, a dreadful word
> That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
> And dead; it’s said like bed, not bead
> For goodness sake don’t call it “deed”.
> Watch out for meat and great and threat
> (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
> A moth is not a moth in mother,
> Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
> And here is not a match for there
> Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
> And then there’s dose and rose and lose
> Just look them up and goose and choose,
> And cork and work and word and sword,
> And do and go and thwart and cart.
> Come, come I’ve hardly made a start.
> A dreadful language? Man alive
> I mastered it when I was five.
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that poem is fantastic! good grief, anyone who can master English as a second language must be a genius!
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What a wonderful poem! I so enjoyed reading it aloud. English can be tough but marvellous.
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Oh just brilliant! Thanks for sharing x
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Wow, I love that!
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I love that poem – I should save it this time: I can never find it when I want it. Thank you, Anna!
On the subject of English as a second language, it shocks me that many of my friends who only learnt English late in childhood/early teens display a better understanding of it than friends who have never known any language other than English.
Sure, some people do have learning difficulties – but a lot of people are just lazy. Not everyone can excel, of course. But most people could improve with a little effort – which is probably why the friends who have had to try so hard to learn English do better?
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Excellent and thought provoking article. I really struggle with this one, since, like Jane, I find spelling errors jump out at me and are consequently both distracting and often the most memorable part of whatever I’m reading. However one of my closest friends, a barrister of great intelligence, frequently emails me in a poorly punctuated, badly spelt, almost stream of consciousness manner. Obviously I know her and do not judge. How much more difficult when the communication is from someone you don’t know and you have no other frame of reference for that person than the written form? I can’t resolve this easily.
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This is a fantastic article. It reminds me when my brother was teaching and there were stories of teachers that chastised a child for not listening … in some cases the child was found to have a hearing imparement!
I do become a little annoyed with poor grammar and spelling in business communications, mainly because people don’t place enough importance on the delivery of their message. Even I have mild dyslexia, but I do take time to check back over what I have written and use spell checking.
To lighten things up a little – Dyslexics of the world UNTIE!
Cheers,
)
Paul
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Thanks so much for this article. I was exactly like you – very judgmental about people’s spelling as I had no problems learning to read & write at school. My oldest son spoke very early & is very bright, however when he started school he couldn’t remember the alphabet let alone words. He was assessed by an educational psychologist & was diagnosed with dyslexia last year at age 8. He has been having help with his reading & writing since year one but it’s only this year at age 9 that he’s made any real improvement. It’s been so demoralizing for him as he knows what everyone else can do & what he can’t. The diagnosis helped a lot though as he had started thinking he was really stupid before then, so now he knows his brain just works differently his self esteem has been able to improve – this has been the biggest thing I’ve been working on with him. I know that once he gets through school he’ll be ok as he has great people skills, common sense, a great memory & is brilliant at problem solving. He just needs to learn to read & write & get through school. I’m also very sure that my husband & his Dad are also dyslexic although they’ve never been assessed. And I’m watching my younger two sons very closely – the second one is also having similar issues so at least I know what I’m dealing with now. Just have some compassion on people as we don’t all find the same things easy.
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In these days of auto-correct, auto-complete and typing emails on the tiny touchpads on phones I am a lot less judgey about spelling mistakes or inappropriate words.
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My daughter started kindy this year, and is learning to read with nightly readers and sight words. The thing that has struck me while going through the process of helping her is how damn hard the English language really is to learn! All the rules get broken, half the letters in words are silent (it seems), and plenty of times there are sounds that aren’t even in the word. Who decided on the spelling of ‘rough’ for example? I have a newfound respect for anyone who learns it as second language. All languages have their good and bad points, but I wonder if kids who grow up learning a phonetic language have advantages, because they can spend lots of school years concentrating on things other than how to spell ‘Wednesday’ or ‘psychic’.
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Tripitaka – the answer to your question is apparently “yes”, re phonetic languages. It was recently suggested (and I’m sorry, I don’t have a reference) that English be reconstituted to a phonetic form. The only problem is, whose form of English would we choose? British? Australian? American?
This article refers to the concept: http://blogs.news.com.au/news/splat/index.php/news/comments/should_we_simplify_the_ruiles_of_english_spelling/
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Thanks for the link Silverdragon, that was interesting.
I guess, if I were to change the language to make it easier to learn I would do two things:
1. Turn an apostrophe in to two different symbols. One symbol would mean possessive, and another would mean a letter is missing.
2. Each sound in the English language would get its own letter, and that letter wouldn’t be used for anything else. So ‘F’ would just be ‘F’, ‘ph’ and ‘gh’ would not make ‘f’. ‘Ch’ would get a new symbol. etc. Vowel sounds could still be combined.
This would mean you wouldn’t have to worry about spelling words phonetically which would be impossible when talking about different accents…if you can imagine, for example, a word said with an Indian accent compared to a Cockney accent, or Southern American accent, there would be so many different spellings that it would branch off in to new languages.
But to have rules that don’t get broken, that’d be super cool.
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Excellent and thought provoking article. I really struggle with this one, since, like Jane, I find spelling errors jump out at me and are consequently both distracting and often the most memorable part of whatever I’m reading. However one of my closest friends, a barrister of great intelligence, frequently emails me in a poorly punctuated, badly spelt, almost stream of consciousness manner. It is distracting to the reader but obviously I know her and do not judge. How much more difficult when the communication is from someone you don’t know and you have no other frame of reference for that person than the written form? I can’t resolve this easily.
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Excellent and thought provoking article. I really struggle with this one, since, like Jane, I find spelling errors jump out at me and are consequently both distracting and often the most memorable part of whatever I’m reading. (Fervently hoping I don’t misspell this post!) However one of my closest friends, a barrister of great intelligence, frequently emails me in a poorly punctuated, badly spelt, almost stream of consciousness manner. It is distracting to the reader but obviously I know her and do not judge. How much more difficult when the communication is from someone you don’t know and you have no other frame of reference for that person than the written form? I can’t resolve this easily.
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I don’t judge people who can’t spell, I just get annoyed when my mum and brother (who are bad spellers) always ask me to spell simple words they can’t- yesterday my mum asked me to spell ‘hearth’, ‘champagne’ and my brother ‘genre’ and ‘physically’.
Wait.. maybe those aren’t simple words. My bf is a terrible speller and it always drives me crazy, because i’m a good speller and forever correcting him.
don’t even get me started on bad grammar….
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From what I understand, there are two types of dyslexia. 1. have trouble sounding out words “c-a-t” = “cat”. 2. the other are remember words that follow no set pattern and require memory to spell, such as “hearth” (which if sounded out should be written “harth”).
I think champagne would fall into this catagory too, but most likely as it’s a French word, it actually follows French pronounciation / rules.
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Lorren, the thing about dyslexia is that there is no particular type of dyslexia. Everyone’s disability is different and suffer many forms of dys’. It’s very complicated and there’s not a great deal of understanding around it and not a lot of research into it as a disability. In fact, in the Australian education system it’s not even classified as a disabililty it’s classified as a disorder. Two very different things, you can grow out of a disorder but a disability is something you live with. You don’t grow out of being dyslixic you just learn to get round and use different stratergies to get around life. But it’s important to remember that everyone’s dyslexia is different not one person is the same
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…..and then there was the dyslexic who couldn’t tell the difference between the letters “o” and “i”.
Didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when he received a note saying that his grandfather had just shot himself.
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cant spell , and sooo wish mamamia came with spell check .
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Get a Mac – they spell check everything!!
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Google Chrome and Firefox browsers will do that on a PC as well.
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