Kate and man’s best friend…
By KATE HUNTER
I don’t love my dog as I should.
Right now he’s at a boarding kennel – he’s been there 10 days because we’re landscaping the yard and all our fences are down.
It’s a nice kennel in a lovely ruralish part of Brisbane, but I only paid for basic accommodation.
For an extra $35 dollars a day I could have upgraded Tiger to an executive suite with couch, tv and air conditioning. But he has none of those things at home so he figured he wouldn’t miss them as much as I’d miss the money – landscaping is expensive.
Tiger will be home in three days. The kids will be happy, and I’ll be happy because they are. But I can’t say I’ve missed him.
Before you call the RSPCA on me, I’ll just say that Tiger isn’t abused or neglected. He’s fed, walked, taken to the vet when he’s sick. He sleeps on the deck but during the day he’s in and out of the house – just like the rest us. He’s loved (mostly by our 9 year old) just not by me.
My ambivalence towards Tiger is unexpected and mysterious and I wrote about it here a while ago. The response was greater than to anything I’ve ever written before. People feel very strongly about my lack of strong feelings for my dog.
Tiger was a much-wanted family pet, as much by me as the kids. Our previous dog, Jonah, died of oldness six years ago. There was a decent mourning period. Then a year and a half ago, I deemed the time right. I began research. Did not want a dog too big or too small. Prefer non-shedding. Nothing with ‘oodle’ as a suffix (this from Jim). Friendly, good with kids, cute. Enter the Lagotto – Italian truffle digger. Bigger than a spaniel, smaller than a Labrador. Perfect. And wouldn’t you know it? There was a breeder not too far from us – two puppies still available, ready for new homes at Christmas. We did our research and spoke to a vet (didn’t want an over-bred freak with bung eyes and dodgy hips).
Everybody said, – ‘Great family dog, go for it.’
So Tiger came home with us on Christmas Eve, aged 12 weeks; a white and orange mop of loveliness.
And I waited to feel the love, but it didn’t happen. I walked him and fed him and brushed him. I took him to obedience training and let him nap in my study. Nothing. He doesn’t jump the fence, eat the laundry or bark at leaves. He’s affectionate and gentle. As dogs go, he ticks all the boxes. I’m sure there are many reasons my affection falls short of love, and they’re all my fault, but in my heart I blame the dog.
Tiger
Tiger is needy. His weird greenish eyes make me feel guilty every time I’m not chucking his rubber Kong for him. When I do throw it, sometimes he brings it back, sometimes he doesn’t. He’s moody as well as needy.
He’s ungrateful. He eats top quality dog food but always wants what I am eating. His look says, ‘Are you going to finish that? Cos if you’re not …’ No matter what we’re doing, he wants to be doing something else. I want a pet that lives in the moment.
He’s sneaky. That is a cat’s job. Dogs aren’t meant to be sneaky.
He’s clumsy. This is a consequence of the sneakiness. Yesterday I sprung him skulking up the stairs and he tried to back down (this was actually quite funny).
He doesn’t smile. Not like Jonah used to.
I wonder if Tiger senses my apathy? If he knows my heart isn’t in it as I fling sticks around the dog park. Maybe I need to try harder. I picture a day in 10 years time when he’s old and grey around the chops.
Will the idea of being without him fill me with dread? Honestly, I can’t see it, but he’s part of our family, so he can stay until I do.
Have you ever had a pet you didn’t click with? Do you think we are obliged to love our pets – or simply to care for them?
If you do love pets and you are looking to add another member to your family start here
Comments
138 Comments so far
I have a dog who’s 11. He’s had medical problems (he has his own dermatologist and now an ophthalmologist). He is needy and demanding. He’s cute, but this is not a dog who “gives” anything. Now he has severe glaucoma in his right eye, and I am (as I right) paying for him to have his eye removed ($1,800) because I can’t stand the guilt of saying no and having him euthanized. Even though I said this was too expensive. I get exactly where you’re coming from.
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Oh my god do I ever hear you. Even though it’s sad, i’m so glad i’m not the only one this has happened to – i feel so alone and can’t admit to anyone that all I want to do with the adorable puppy we brought home a few weeks ago, is get as far away from her as possible.
Like you, I did all the research. I wanted a Whippet from the first time I saw them as a kid, because of their gentle elegance, and kept being told that they are quiet, intelligent and good indoor dogs (albeit with a need for a good run around a couple of times a day). I knew a puppy would be a lot of work, but…
From about 24 hours after we got her home, I had an absolute certain feeling that it was a HUGE mistake. The complete sleep deprivation (neighbours complained if we let her whine and yelp at all) and 24 hour neediness put me into total shock.
Two weeks on, she’s reasonably clean in the house (although…she *can* ask to go out, but the times she “forgets” do seem to coincide with her not getting her own way or being told off for something!) and mostly sleeps 8pm-5.30am with a toilet break. But the feeling of wanting to get away from her remains. She doesn’t really play with me – a minute or two, and then loses interest. She knows her commands (sit, leave etc) perfectly IF there’s a treat in my hand, and goes totally deaf the rest of the time. She still demands lap time but it feels like just that, a demand, to me, rather than love. And i never get the feeling she wants to please me, just to get her own way. If i came home and she’d vanished, I’d dance for joy.
But my other half loves her, and i’m sure is horrified by me admitting (some!) of my feelings. So either it’ll get better, or frankly I might leave home first!
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This is pretty crazy… I got a Whippet for the same reasons you did…and I am now regretting it, also. The neediness, the lack of space is incredibly annoying. Knowing that I can’t even drop a spoon in the kitchen without my dog scuttling up -just out of nosiness, not even to try and eat it- pisses me off. I can deal with that, though. I feel so angry when I take him outside and he doesn’t do his needs there, then does them on his “emergency” balcony pad shortly after, or if he accidentally steps in his own poop. I feel like it’s deliberate or him being spoiled. I resent him and feel rage wash over me every time I look at the floor that once remained clean for days and days, all covered in dusty (and likely shitty) little footprints. I resent the time I spend cleaning up after him, and I dread coming home to whatever disaster he might have created that day. I resent that I take him out in the morning and at night and pay someone to walk him while I’m at work, and that he still can’t manage to do his business 100% outside. The rest of the time, I do love him. He has a lovely personality, but unfortunately, most of my time around him is usually spent cleaning up after him. I’ve had enough and am actually going to give him away.
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I absolutely relate to this. I just adopted a dog, and although I LOVE animals, and love all my friends’ dogs I simply cannot love the one I adopted for some reason. She is stubborn, erratic, and needy. My boyfriend on the other hand is able to love her. I don’t understand. This is the first time I have not liked a pet I have had. I have decided to rehome her, selectively of course, so that she can live with someone who will love her as she deserves. I am incredibly amazed by my own inability to like this dog. Thank you for writing this article, I feel as though I am not alone.
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If it’s possible for a mother to reject her baby, in the animal and human world. Then surely it’s understandable that this can occur with pets. I know exactly how you feel. I have always loved dogs and never had a problem with them until we decided to get a second dog for our dog mia. Our intentions were good , as we thought it would be great for her to have a companion. We were wrong. As soon as I met the dog, him and mia did not click and i suddenly got an overwhelming feeling that it was a bad choice. Everyone convinced me to try. The dog has only been with us 2 days and Mia will not accept it. Deep down I know I cannot accept this dog because it is making her unhappy. I was shocked that i could feel this way. It was a mistake to get a second dog but I only discovered this once it arrived. Now I am arranging to return the dog to it’s previous owners. I feel like a monster but it was hard for me to make this choice and not fair on the dog to be in a home where it is not loved. Judge me if you like. I guarantee I feel worse about myself right now.
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I can relate Kate, I have the same problem with my dog. she is needy and moody and makes me feel guilty if I’m not contantly petting her. She doesn’t listen well and she STARES at me all day long. When I feed her she walks over to her bowl, sniffs it and walks away disgusted, then searches the floor for something better, even though I’ve done literally EVERYTHING I can to make her love her food, she just doesn’t want it because she wants people food.
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He’s a dog… dogs do that. Secondly, try to see the person he is inside. Don’t just see a non verbal animal.
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He’s not a person, he’s a dog. He IS a nonverbal animal.
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Holy mackerel, Kate, can you let his hair grow or something? He looks like a mouth breathing deviant … human, almost.
Call me superficial but ….
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I had two dogs of the same breed that were my canine soul mates, I felt very connected to them. I could tell in the way that they looked at me that our affection for each other was completely reciprocal. We recently adopted another dog of the same breed, he looks right through me, and is only attentive when I’ve got food or one of his toys in my hand. I feel like I’m nothing more than a provider for him. It’s hard to feel that loving connection. It’s really very disheartening.
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Our last dog was our dear friend and we cherished her so much. It is over 2 years since she left us and there is not a day that goes by we don’t think of her. She was dumped in a park in Merrylands. Driving to work my boyfriend spent a long time trying to get her off the busy road and into the safety of his arms. He placed her on the seat next to him and drove her to my tiny 1 bedroom, rented unit as he was now very late for work. That day will remain one of the most special days in my life. “Trix” (as we named her) remained an integral part of our lives for the next 12 years. We would love another one, two, or more rescue dogs but we rent and are not sure when we will next be in a position to have animals. Until then we volunteer at 2 well-known Sydney shelters.
We always saw it as a privilege to be entrusted with one of God’s creatures. I hope one day Kate you will find it in your heart to love Tiger unconditionally. You are in a very privileged position and are obviously blessed with much. I would urge you to continue questioning your reasons for feeling the way you do about Tiger as it is through no wrongdoing of his that you feel the way you do about him. Dogs don’t lie, don’t change, don’t judge and will always love you unconditionally. Tiger has much wisdom to impart to you if you let him. If not he will still love you no less that is his beautiful gift to you Kate.
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This is my dog. Does he win the cutest dog award? Where can you find a dog this gorgeous you ask? At an animal shelter, where I adopted him at eight months old.
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I am definitely the opposite to you Kate and fear I am one of those crazy dog ladies…… Our little foxie is the absolute light of our life and brings us so much joy. He has a massive personality made more fun by my belief that he is more than a dog and does stuff during the day while we are at work – like meeting his mates at the pub for a counter meal or being the president of the local dog residents association and holding meetings – think Toy Story! His fur gets on everything and I am sure that even when he is long gone, his fur will still be in our house and car as a reminder of the unconditional love he had for us. Sorry you don’t have that connection with your dog Kate as he certainly looks like an amazing companion.
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I don’t really relate to this. I’ve always been a dog person, but hadn’t owned one since I was a child, until recently.
My husband and I have had our dog for a year and we are both absolutely head over heels for him. He is the most delightful, sweet, loving, dog I have ever met.
And yes, we got him from a breeder, and he is an ‘oodle’. He has poodle type ‘hair’ which means he is low allergenic, which was crucial for me particularly, or we couldn’t have had a dog at all.
He really makes us a ‘family’, and we have commented(tongue in cheek) that when we have children we’re not sure we’ll be able to love the. As much as we love our dog!
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Kate – you love your dog. I can tell by reading your reasons for not loving him that you do!
If you had no attachment to him you wouldn’t be so aware of his feelings.
Give in to it you big Tiger lover!
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I feel really upset after reading about little Tiger. Our last dog was our dear friend and we cherished her so much. It is over 2 years since she left us and there is not a day that goes by we don’t think of her. She was dumped in a park in Merrylands. Driving to work my boyfriend spent a long time trying to get her off the busy road and into the safety of his arms. He placed her on the seat next to him and drove her to my tiny 1 bedroom, rented unit as he was now very late for work. That day will remain one of the most special days in my life. “Trix” (as we named her) remained an integral part of our lives for the next 12 years. We would love another one, two, or more rescue dogs but we rent and are not sure when we will next be in a position to have animals. Until then we volunteer at 2 well-known Sydney shelters.
We always saw it as a privilege to be entrusted with one of God’s creatures. I hope one day Kate you will find it in your heart to love Tiger unconditionally. You are in a very privileged position and are obviously blessed with much. I would urge you to continue questioning your reasons for feeling the way you do about Tiger as it is through no wrongdoing of his that you feel the way you do about him. Dogs don’t lie, don’t change, don’t judge and will always love you unconditionally. Tiger has much wisdom to impart to you if you let him. If not he will still love you no less that is his beautiful gift to you Kate.
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I don’t understand when you say “in my heart I blame the dog”, for you not loving him. As you explained, he doesn’t do anything that’s naughty or anything, so I can only think maybe you find him ugly and unappealing, due to your reference of his weird greenish creepy eyes. Surely, during your extensive research of this breed, you would of know that that is what their eyes look like. I’m just curious , is this maybe why you can’t connect, because you find him unappealing and ugly.
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I don’t know why you felt the need to share these feelings. You could come with one eye hanging out of your head, fall over and yell at him and you know what, he’d still love you. That dog would love you no matter what, even now I bet he adores you and you don’t even care for him. I adopted a rescue dog who wets herself on the carpet everytime she gets excited. It’s annoying having to clean it up all the time, but she’s happy and she adores me and I adore her. Humans always try to humanize dogs but just because we do that, doesn’t mean dogs have changed from what they were hundreds of years ago. Try and appreciate Tiger for who he is. He adores you and you don’t get that much in life these days. While your article upsets me, I’m at least thankful that you take care of him.
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I have dogs and before i had kids really enjoyed them as i had the time to lavidh attention on them and the patience to accept the less wonderful aspects of their dogginess. Now they just drive me crackers and are sources of massive guilt! I know full well that is why i dont like them as much as before though i do love them. Is it a bugger though…i hope once the kids get bigger and more self sufficient we’ll revert to a better relationship with the added bonus of two extra people to lavish affection on them as my kids definitely love them. Until them the guilt of being a ‘bad dog parent’ remains!
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Needy? Sneaky? Wierd eyes? Are we seriously judging pets on these flimsy idiosyncrasies now? As an earlier comment read – these sorts of first world complaints might best be left to discussions over coffee with a few friends rather than seeking another 15 minutes of fame. Given I’m commenting publicly too, I accept that I’m doing the same, so I might as well get it all out: Embrace your pet or don’t bother getting one. I’ve met a few needy children with wierd eyes, but haven’t felt a desire to dislike them as a result. With so much tragedy, hatred and cruelty in the world wouldn’t it be nice if we took a little bit of joy and happiness from a loyal, gentle pet?
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I don’t like animals. When I say that people look at me like I said “I murder animals”. They smell, they drool, they urinate and defecate, they make peoples houses smell (yes, even when they’re clean, they smell!), they get hair everywhere, they jump up on you, they knock things over, they interrupt you when you’re eating….ah the list goes on!
There are a lot of commenters saying that they can’t connect with what you’re saying – but I can’t for the life of me connect with what they’re saying!
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I don’t like babies. When I say that people look at me like I said “I murder babies”. They smell, they drool, they urinate and defecate, they make peoples houses smell (yes, even when they’re clean, they smell!), they get mess and slop everywhere, they cry, they grab onto you, they knock things over, they interrupt you when you’re eating, sleeping, showering….ah the list goes on! Oh, and the costs involved!
If a dog (for example) is trained – they do not necessarily do ANY of the folloing – especialy jump on you! That is just antisocial behaviour and a refelction upon the owner: Smell (depends on their hair or fur type – many don’t smell a bit, I get more offended by body odours on the train to work!), they drool (some do, many don’t. I have colleagues, though, that yell into their phones all day and cry at the drop of a hat – now that is annoying!), they urinate and defecate (usually out on a walk which is good exercise and fresh air for you! Not to mention social), they make peoples houses smell (my house smells of aromatherapy oils, freshly cut flowers and things I bake in the kitchen personally), they get hair everywhere (not all dogs shed hair, mine doesn’t actually – and I brush him outside once a week to ensure this. I do shed my own blonde hair after brushing – the boyfriend is fien with that though, especially in his sheets after a busy night!), they jump up on you (um, no not really, just the odd antisocial dog might if owner hasn’t put in the time early on to train which doesn’t take long), they knock things over (like what? Mine hasn’t spilt so much as a cp of tea or pile of paperwork), they interrupt you when you’re eating (what do they say to you? ‘Excuse me miss, but can you let me out for a wee?’ !?!) Hahaha
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Regarding Tiger.
You wanted a perfect for ‘me and mine’ sort of dog, a ‘fits into my lifestyle’ sort of dog, and as you said ‘a ticks all the boxes’ sort of dog; right size, right temperament, right coat. And it seems, for the most part that’s exactly what you got. Which is, arguably, part of the reason you feel so ambivalent towards him.
Let me clarify, I’m sure Jonah had his flaws and idiosyncrasies, and I’m equally sure that those imperfections were part of the reason you loved him so much.
You have to learn to see Tiger for the dog that he is; a non-shedding, slightly clumsy, vaguely weird looking canine, who may or may not enjoy to stealth around the joint when he thinks no one is looking. A gentle boy who your kids adore and who adores your kids. You’ll find the love, when you stop comparing him to Jonah, and learn to smile when you see that skulking hairy mop of white playing with the kids, or playing ninja with you or not dropping when his told to.
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I do not need to be shown ‘unconditional love’ by being licked with a tongue that has just licked a dog’s bum. I don’t need ‘doggy kisses’ from a wet nose that has just been stuck up another dog’s anus. I don’t need to dry retch from dog fart or spend my morning walk carrying a bag of dog turd. And do not get me started on how repulsive male dogs are.
Put a pair of yfronts on them, for gawds sake. And disinfect my car tyres.
Owning a dog is bad enough but owning a male dog is a whole world of putrid.
Sorry, to me, dog lovers are more needy than their smelly, dribbling, clingy, nutcase pets.
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I understand this but for me it was my cat. He just didn’t connected with me but did with my boyfriend. I put it down to the fact the the personalities just don’t click. You don’t always love or connec with every person you meet so why should it be the same with animals?
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I’m afraid reading this post made me feel nothing but anger. Just like children, dogs rely on you for love, nourishment and nuture. In return they give you unconditional love and are always happy to see you. If only you could say the same about humans – including children!
Unfortunately it is too easy for people to adopt pets and end up in homes where they won’t get the love and care they deserve!
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Of course he’s needy, moody, ungrateful and a bit sneaky – he’s an Italian male, in a house with a confident woman leader and he isn’t the centre of your attention. Compromise by conversing in a little bit of Italian and see whether he changes his temperament
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Sorry, I don’t get it at all. I’ve tried to look at it from your perspective but I just don’t understand where you are coming from. I’ve got 2 dogs, both adopted and oh so very different. One is beautiful, has the biggest smile, is incredibly clumsy and highly strung but would defend me with her life. The other is a bit funny looking, has small man syndrome but is very entertaining and really a big sook. Both love me unconditionally though and I them. No one else is that excited to see me come home from work! They are hard work but they give in return. Your story made me so sad for your dog, despite their level of intelligence dogs are highly intuitive, they respond more to body language than spoken word and I feel he would sense you don’t love him.
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All of the reasons you gave for not liking Tiger – that he is needy, moody, sneaky etc – I have noticed myself about my own dog.
However, I love her to bits regardless so I am unconvinced that these are the real reasons for your lack of love.
Perhaps they are just excuses?
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I think there’s something wrong with someone who doesn’t love their pet. Why get one in the first place? I know they are hard work sometimes but they keep lonely people company, and show such loyalty. I don’t like it when people are indifferent to their pets. Why are some dogs vicious and bite? I think it’s because of the way they’ve been brought up – with nasty hurtful owners. That’s my opinion anyway!
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Kate, I am with you. Our dogs are currently staying at a friends farm (no, not a euphemism!) while we repair the yard prior to moving and I am quite enjoying the freedom (except for scraps!). I have always felt quite ambivilent about my dog and loved my husbands dog much more than mine… I have also found that since I had a baby, I just don’t have the capacity for love and affection towards them that I used to, that is all directed at my son. So while they are definitely not abused or neglected in anyway, they do tend to look at me reproachfully. Our au pair has loved them deeply and they her – I think they will all be devastated when she goes! At the end of the day, they are dogs, they have a pretty good life!
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Let’s say I don’t like this article the way I should. I definitely failed to connect with the words.
Spare a thought for people just DYING to have a dog, but who, because of circumstances, cannot have one.
If you cannot love/connect with your dog, add it to your first-world problems list and maybe leave it at that. Not every thought/idea/concept warrants an article.
PS: I saw a stunning photo of a wolf on Facebook recently, captioned by the words: “There is beauty in everything. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” …May you eventually see the beauty in a sneaky dog who only asks to be loved for HIM and his unique personality.
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Well said
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I totally get this Kate. There have been some dogs in my life that I have loved, and others that I have not been too keen on. I like a spirited, smart dog. But, I’m not really a dog person. I dont own a dog now. If my children express love for animals I might change my mind. I think some people just genuinely adore animals, and others pretend they do! It takes a brave person to say they don’t love animals. I think it’s a good thing actually- as too many people buy a dog because it’s the cool thing to do, then realise that it’s actually a lot of work.
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I’m a cat person thru and thru. This is not a good thing for our dog and I have trouble getting over the smell and the clumsiness. I participate, took her to puppy school, give her lots of special food but i feel nothing!! After 7 years I guess I’m not going to either!!
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I feel sad for you. My dog is part of my family and my life.I spend tonnes of time with her and know every aspect of her personalily, even her imperfections are endearing as they make her who she is..As I read what you wrote I agined you were speaking about a child.., yes that’s how much I feel a dog is part of the family..could you or would you say that regarding a child.. I also feel sorry for your pup but I’m happy to hear he is well looked after and dos feel love and affection from others in your family. Really sad. This dog should never have the job of living up to or replacing a previous pet. I hope things change for you, all the best.
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I have a dog now, but can relate this to the rabbits i had when i was a kid. My sister and i had 2 rabbits- Coco and Tibbles, they were the most gorgeous adorable rabbits and we loved them so much. However they died from the calipsy virus (which is spread to kill wild ones). We then got another rabbit, angel but she wasnt a nice rabbit, she was agressive and once bit me (drew blood). I just didnt feel the same love for her.
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I can’t stand dogs anymore. Loved them as kid but I just don’t feel it now. Cleaning up revolting dog turds, the smell of them, the licking and neediness. Yuk yuk yuk.
Give me a dozen clean, independant cats any day.
Kate, no offense, but that’s one dog you don’t ever want to win a dog/owner look-a-like competition with. x
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Oh, I’m so jealous of you all just for having dogs! The rental market is so tight where I live that we’re not game enough to get another dog – so hard to find housing for a family, let alone for pets
It’s been ten years since my last dog died. My entire family has been so desperate for a pet, that we have welcomed the neighbour’s cat with open arms. She wants to hang out here and we want to cuddle her – perfect fit (although maybe not so much for the neighbours – sorry). We love her so much but I just know that this is going to end badly!
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This story just makes me feel much stronger about ADOPTING shelter dogs! When buying from a breeder/pet shop you can do miles of research like Kate on breed, temperament, etc. But at the end of the day, dogs have such individual personalities; a generalised description will never give you the full story.(Much like us making assumptions about each other’s personalities based on race or country of origin!!)
We met our little shelter dog twice at Monika’s Doggie Rescue in Ingelside before we brought him home, and we did so knowing he clicked with both of us and would fit with our lifestyle. Ironically, the dog we had ‘pre-picked’ from the shelter online based on breed and description was just lovely, but neither of us felt a connection to her, not like the one we felt for Rocky- who wasn’t even on our shortlist of dogs to begin with!
Aside from saving one of the tens of thousands of animals destroyed in pounds each year, to consider a shelter dog OR puppy gives you such a better opportunity to get to know them, walk them and play with them- and know you’ll fit together and love one another like we both love Rocky.
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He’s gorgeous Kirsten. We did visit the breeder and the puppies at least three times before we decided Tiger was for us. We spent time playing with the pups and the parents (canine). Tiger wasn’t an impulsive ‘we must have one of THOSE’ purchase. My family (parents, sisters etc) has always had dogs – strays, pound dogs, dogs adopted when neighbours have moved, purebreds from breeders. Tiger is the first one I haven’t clicked with.
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I have to say it seems you did put lots of effort in to making sure Tiger was the right dog for your family, and it’s so wonderful to see he’s still loved by the family and given the proper care he deserves, even though you two don’t ‘click’.
It’s just a shame that many others out there don’t put as much thought in and make impulse purchases, only to leave the dog at a shelter a few months later.
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We had a poodle for 14 years and I must admit I felt a little the same about him, although I am a dog lover. He was doted on by my daughter and her friends though. But I have to tell you, when he passed away, I mourned him so much and cried for weeks.
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ROCKY was such a great boy at Doggie Rescue. One of my favorite boys! So glad he is loved so much!
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My mother brought home a dog one day that the rest of the family loved instantly. Four years later and I’m finally starting to warm to feel the same. There is hope!
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I’ve just moved in with a friend who has a nightmare dog.
He is not a puppy but wees on the carpet when he’s angry at you! (for example, if you’ve just told him off for trying to chew your shoes)
He barks in your face when you’re trying to watch tv, pushes through the front door ahead of you when you arrive home, and is just generally crazy and badly behaved.
I try and put him outside whenever I’m home but my house mate lets him back in.
But despite all this, I feel bad if I have a mean thought about him! I love cats and dogs and was devastated when my family dogs passed away. It makes me want to see the good in the terror dog.
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Perhaps you and your “mate” should spend some time training that poor dog instead of just disliking him for what he does from lack of proper training?
And the weeing is insecurity, NOT anger, NOT revenge…he’s probably been told off stronger than he’s able to handle.
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Does anyone else find that the people who dont really, really love their pets are always ones who bought their animal from a breeder?
There are SO many animals (cats, dogs, rabbits etc) who need homes – I always think its sad when someone who says they love animals ignores the ones already out there needing a loving home. The best part with rescue animals is you can visit them first and see who you click with, who you have that connection with. Much harder to do at a breeder, or god forbid over the net or from a pet store.
A rescue animal will love you, and you will love it back. I promise.
PS And before anyone freaks out, Im not saying anyone who bought from a breeder doesnt love their animals – but from what I see people who are a bit ambivalent tend to have beeder/pet store pets.
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My parents have an RSPCA rescue dog, a store-bought dog and a pedigree corgi. I can honestly tell you that they are all equally loved and appreciated.
That said, I would prefer getting a rescue dog over a dog from a breeder as I know they need a lot more love. No animal deserves to be abused or neglected.
I love all dogs though.
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No. I have a rescue dog. I have had five dogs in my life and four have been rescue dogs. The other one came from a breeder, but I didn’t buy her. She was a “dud” – had a genetic defect that made her useless to the breeder, who had wanted her for a show dog.
I have loved each of these dogs deeply, except for the one I have now. I like her and I’m hoping with time I will “fall in love” with her but right now I don’t. there’s nothing wrong with her and she is loved heaps by my kids, but I just don’t have the same feelings for her that I did for my last dog (or the ones before!)
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My cat Isobel, who has to be one of the world’s most loved cats, is a purebred. In fact she was a breeding queen for about 6 years.
My husband’s cat, Lionel, is a rescue we took in because no one wanted him (he was a grumpy bum) and he is also extremely loved.
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I’ve encountered a few friends and acquaintances lately who have dogs but don’t like them. One was palmed off by a sibling and sits in the backyard all day and night long ’cause no one in the family likes animals. Another said, when I urged him to pat my dog, that he doesn’t even pat his own dog.
I’m such an animal lover that my mind boggles at these scenarios. If you don’t like pets, don’t have one. And also, you should be getting them from shelters, not breeders. There are too many unwanted animals on this earth as it is.
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When I was pregnant with cherub #3, we got a kitten. We called her Abbi. She was all dark tabby and sweet looking. Middle cherub was 4 at the time, and was a little pet-feral as 4 year olds can often be – nothing mean, just ‘over-loving’ the poor bugger. Anyway – Abbi started acting a little narky, even when middle cherub wasn’t harassing the crap out of her. Abbi would shoot out from under beds and sneak attack your ankles and feet, but things began to go tits up when she started swiping us out of nowhere. Face, arms, nothing was off limits. Spoke to the vet, had her desexed, He also suggested we put her on a type of ‘kitty ritalin’ which I just couldn’t justify. Spoke to my Mad Aunt – aka the Cat Whisperer – who pretty much said ‘I just don’t think she likes kids’.
She now lives with Aunty Fay, who has no kids. She’s still moody as buggery. (The cat, not Fay)
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I feel this way about our two cats. The kids love both of the cats, but the hair is driving me absolutely crazy! I now have lint rollers stashed in the car, in my handbag and in my office drawer.
We have only just made it through a difficult period of cleaning up cat urine everyday because one of the fussy buggers didn’t like the first umpteen varieties of cat litter we tried… finally like goldilocks, this current one seems to be just right!
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I get my two cats shaved by a professional cat groomer who comes to my house . The hair drives us insane as well and its so much better with them shaved! It’s not down to skin, just really short fur and their heads, tails and legs are left furry. They look so cute! They don’t mind it getting done either. I only get it done leading into summer so they don’t get cold.
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I too relate to this. Sadly. I’m a dog person, have always loved our family dogs & then my own first dog, but have failed to ‘click’ with our newest addition. He’s 2 now & I’m still waiting for the surge of love and adoration to kick in. I can’t understand why it hasn’t happened as he is a lovely dog. I guess it’ll either take time or just won’t happen perhaps. In the meantime, like you Kate, I shall continue to feed, play, walk, groom him etc & hope that the love will come!
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He really does have creepy eyes…very human looking. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of our dog ..his constant gnashing at his tackle is extremely irritating. As is his need to greet me every morning with his red lipstick out ( think Revlon red) my husband & son adore him and they seem to have a club..a male farting , belching nut scratching club I’m not a part of…thank goodness. I think I fail to connect with him because I sense the fact I’m an outsider..a female in a very much male house. But my son loves him & that makes me happy…so tonight at 1 in the morning when I get woken up yet again by his eager over zealous nut soothing…I shall remind myself..he is my sons dog & roll over & dream of far away places where male dogs do not inhabit lol
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I understand how you feel. We have a beautiful 3 year old mastiff (that I chose from the litter for my hubby, who wanted a mastiff) I love him, but not as much as my hubby & kids love him.
He’s a great dog, got heaps of personality, gentle, patient & cuddly, great with the kids, but I’d rather not have a dog. It’s not his fault at all, I just don’t like having the extra duties that come with him.
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Hi Cool Beans – Some of the comments can tend to get lost in spam so we will look into it!
MM Moderator
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I wasn’t a dog person or even much of an animal person… Until I met George. A ‘pound puppy’ with extreme intelligence who knew exactly what I couldn’t stand in dogs (panting, drooling, barking, slobbery tennis balls etc) and delighted in shadowing me. I tolerated her coz I was madly in love with her ‘dad’, she tolerated me for the entertainment purposes. Until the day someone got a little bit aggressive towards me in my driveway then this 30kg medium sized dog turned into the Bodyguard, leaping over a six foot fence to defend me. Since then we’ve been best buds but its hard to imagine having the same connection with another dog!
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I feel this way about cats.
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oh god kate, i know exactly how you feel. my dog has gone so far down the pecking order since the kids came along, that i’m constantly thinking to myself “jesus, what do you WANT from me?? i feed you, let you have treats and snacks, walk you, pat you and let you roughhouse with the kids. is that not enough?!” she is so needy and sneaky. lol. i do love her, but it’s the kind of love you have for a family member (i want you around, but not ALL the bloody time)
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I can understand this post. I had a dog for 15 years that meant everything to me and was my best friend. I adored her and she me. I got a second dog as she was aging thinking this would be good for her and me and while Ive always liked her Ive never had the same feelings towards her as I did my first dog.
I do everything for her, walk her, she sleeps inside, I show her affection, feed her well, she even comes to work with me a couple of days a week, bath her each week, but Ive just never felt towards her like I did my old dog.
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I could have written this… in the same exact words. I love that our boys love our Cavoodle (Odie). He follows me around like a shadow (weird! as I dont really get affectionate with him at all). He’s a dog. I’m busy. People assume because he looks like a teddy bear that I should carry him around and dote and adore him. But I dont. I teach him tricks (for my sons amusement really). I feed him, I’m there for him. And I get worried about him getting sick or having an accident – but that’s mainly to do with having to deal with my sons reactions?
In short – I get it
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OMG how could you not love that. He’s so cutesy cutesy wutesy. I just want to kiss him.
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lol cool beans! I do love him… just not really love him? if that makes any sense at all? :/
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Tarn, it’s the Cavalier part in Odie that makes him follow you around everywhere. He sees you as his fearless leader responsible for the whole ‘pack’ (partic as there’s also kids in the house). Dogs need a leader anyway, but it’s more emphasized/inherent in King Charles Cavaliers. I too have a Cavoodle – he’s a pup, has a BEAUTIFUL and cheeky nature, and also looks just like a teddy bear. But it’s frustrating him following me everywhere – I can’t go out without forlorn eyes willing me to take him, nor venture into the bathroom – he lays down RIGHT outside the bathroom door until I come out, so I’ve now learnt to open the door and check immediately before I step out onto him. I realise this ott behaviour of his, the ‘where are you and why can’t I see you?’ is just par for the course with the Cav companionship part of his personality.
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