‘The 6 things I miss about working in an office.’
It’s someone’s birthday! Cake! It’s Monday! Cake!
by REBECCA SPARROW
The list of things I miss about working in an office is long and varied.
1. There’s the clothing, of course. I miss buttoning up that gorgeous new polka-dot blouse you got on sale at Zara. Zipping up a pencil skirt. Slipping heels onto my feet. Putting on lipstick. BRUSHING MY HAIR. I miss the need, the requirement, to look fabulous rather than how I often look – like a crazy lady who possibly spent the night sleeping in the bushes outside with da possums. Interestingly, when your days are spent negotiating with a 3 year old, nobody cares that you’re wearing ‘on trend’ stockings. Put it this way, I dubbed 2012 “The year of the elasticised waistband”.
What else? 2. I miss the dialogue. The office banter. The 5-minute grabs of conversation with co-workers about The Voice or Bob Katter’s hats or how your boss is doing your head in.
3. I miss the gossip. Tim from Accounts is dating Debra from Marketing. GET. OUT! (It felt good just writing that sentence).
4. I miss the commute. Being in a car ALONE. Reading on the train ALONE. Being in the work bathroom ALONE. I miss typing without the dead weight of a three-year-old on my lap who hits keys at random and blithely announces her bottom is itchy.
Cake. All the time. Cake.
5. I miss the Friday afternoon wind-down where people don’t even pretend to work. The impromptu – who feels like sushi? - lunch hours with colleagues. Melbourne Cup (sitting at home in my trakky daks eating a ryvita while I watch the race isn’t as thrilling as it sounds. Weird, I know). Christmas parties. Secret Santa. Pretending to work while you’re trying to Google Michael Buble’s birth date because Tim in Accounts thinks Michael Buble is 45 when he’s so clearly not even over 40. What a moron. (Tim in Accounts. Not you. You’re awesome. Tim from Accounts is a f*ck-knuckle.)
But what I really, really miss about working in an office? 6. All the cake. So much cake. For some of us, going to work is really just like hanging out in a bakery for 7 hours. Red velvet cupcakes for Joanna’s birthday! Mud cake for Easter! Chocolate brownies because Shaun’s leaving! Muffins for Abbey’s promotion!
I just gained a kilo typing that paragraph.
Every office has a Martha Stewart who lives to bake and takes delight in watching colleagues take bite after bite of sugary goodness as though they’re a gaggle of geese and a she’s farmer with a fondness for foie gras. Let’s call Martha what she is people: A FEEDER. And it’s having an impact on your waistline.
Bella Mackie in The Guardian writes:
Cake anyone?
A study by the Co-op has found that desk-based workers in British offices put on an average of 4.5kg (10lb) during the first year of employment. The majority of them blame the unhealthy treats provided by co-workers for their inability to keep their weight down. One in seven of those surveyed said they felt peer pressure to join in when food is passed round, and no wonder, when everyone else is enjoying a delicious slice of chocolate cake.
We discussed this at our morning meeting and immediately all eyes swivelled in my direction, for I am the colleague you blame for your expanding waistline. I am a feeder. Almost daily, for the past six years, I have bought an array of cakes, biscuits and sweets to the desk. What started as a rare celebration ritual has become an almost mundane occurrence for the Comment desk workers. At about 3pm, people start looking around furtively, or a plaintive plea for sugar will float across the desks. We are now an office addicted to treats.
I make no apologies for your fear of the scales. I think a cake break is a nice way for colleagues to break any formalities for a few minutes. The sugar perks everyone up for a while, and an office has a nice co-operative feel to it when everyone takes it in turns to buy in the goodies.
So what do you (or would you) miss most about working in an office? And when the office cake is dished up, are you smacking your lips or hiding in the corner with your vegemite ryvitas?
Comments
71 Comments so far
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From reading the article and the comments, it seems to me that people really miss being together, connecting, chatting, contributing and caring about each other. But can we only do this in an office environment? How can we connect more and care more about each other on a day to day level? We used to do this in the past in village environments, but we have become more insular in our homes with drive in garages. I think we crave connection……so what’s really stopping us connecting more and caring?
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If you think you get cake in an office, try working with nurses. Particularly in community health. Ironically while there is more cake in community health, the staff are generally older, so are on pretend diets: “I’ll just have a sliver”. Why bother? Just have a piece and adjust the rest of the days food if necessary.
Community health is office based, we just go out a lot. So I would miss (and I worked in an office as a teenager) the regular hours, seeing my friends/colleagues and lunches for special occasions.
There are good aspects to shift work anyway, believe it or not. Being able to shop when most people are at work, the comraderie with other shift workers and the chance to bond with your colleagues over food on night shift.
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I work in an office, and while this probably makes me a massive loser, I LOVE it. I work with some of my best friends, so I look forward to seeing them every day. I love sitting on the train doing WHATEVER I WANT with my time – reading a great book, catching up on FB, listening to music and studying people, whatever. I love getting in to cute little work outfits that make me feel like business barbie (a smart, serious one, naturally). I love the cake for birthdays, coffees with friends in the morning, lunches with other friends in the city at lunch time. I love working in a big glamourous office so when clients come in for meetings I feel like I’ve somehow tricked people (the clients, HR, my coworkers, etc) into thinking I’m an important corporate lawyer, even though I secretly still feel like a teenager. I love having access to so many brilliant minds around me so I develop my skills on a daily basis. In short, I love working in an office. Loser rant over!
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I miss drinking coffee while it’s hot.
And my view. I had a fantastic view over the river from my desk. I’d have some moron going hell-for-leather irate and I’d just let him/her rant while I stared at the view and waited for them to finish.
Running the Melbourne Cup sweep/Easter Raffle/Secret Santa (because no-one else would bloody well do it).
Ditto doing the office Christmas decorations.
The office Christmas party. And the after-gossip.
Friday lunches. Friday drinks. Friday after-drinks.
Absolutely nailing it in my job and being recognised for it.
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This really struck a nerve with me. Working solely from home drives me nuts, but 9-5 doesn’t allow me the flexibility to do all the other things I need/want to, like volunteer work, organising tradies so you don’t have to wait for a month until the next free Saturday, seeing friends, etc. etc. So I work five part days in an office and top up the gaps with freelance work from home. Works for me!
BTW, I laughed about the feeder syndrome. When I first came to Melbourne, I worked for a hospitality college, and the staff would come into the office with daily decadences for me to try out. I gained a dress size in less than three months.:-) Mmmm …
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oh and the carpool. 3 of us who all work in different areas can getogether and discuss events.
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Love this post.
I miss the sneaky afterwork drinks which carried onto some crazy hour. Not the crazy hour my little one carries on at.
I miss taking the time to look nice, now I take 1 second to ensure there is no food in my hair before it goes into my old faithful pony tail.
I miss worrying about a small blemish on my face, now I wonder how dark the circles under my eye really can get before makeup become useless.
Lucky she is cute… or there would be trouble!
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Ha ha – you said ‘f*ck-knuckle’! My favourite insult ever.
You’ve made my day.
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Crap reading this and just remembered I left a piece of cake in the fridge at work. Since I only work 2 days and won’t be back till next Tuesday I’m pretty sure it won’t be worth eating when I get back. I was looking forward to that creamy chocolate goodness!
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Bec, I really enjoy your writing (echoing the sentiments below).
Enjoyed reading this post.
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I’m a freelance writer and I don’t remember what it feels like to wear anything other than track pants. However, the thrill of interviewing someone in your pyjamas never dies.
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After working as a nanny and midwife for five years, I’ve come back into the corporate world, and one of the things I love to pieces is putting on nice clothes in the morning, and buying further outfits and shoes to wear. As a nanny I pretty much had a standard uniform of jeans, Converse sneakers / boots and a rock ‘n roll t-shirt of sorts. It didn’t matter if I got Vegemite or vomit or snot on any of those because they washed easily, and since I was mostly in the company of small children who couldn’t give a toss what I wore, it was pretty easy. But I certainly never felt attractive, and didn’t ever garner compliments for my clothing choices. Different story when I’m in my office getup and channelling some of the female characters from ‘Mad Men’. Love it.
On the cake issue, I’m not particularly a fan of cake (I had a slice of mudcake at the office last week that was so heavy I swear it didn’t leave my stomach until Sunday evening at some stage), but crack open the chips and wine / beer on a Friday afternoon and I’m a very happy girl.
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Oh my god – this post was written just for me
I work for a company I love and work from home and have done for 3 years. Before this I worked in an office of 50 and I miss alot of what you have written about
Working from home in your tracky dacks has some advantages (I am doing the washing as we speak) but missing out on cake, water cooler gossip and …. you are so right about Melbourne Cup!
I have found I am obsessive about facebook and twitter just so I can CONNECT with people
The rest of our team who work from home around the country sometimes just call each other to talk about pop culture, sports, kids, holidays …… the people in accounts etc
So I will be raising my tea cup to all others working from home on Melbourne cup day !
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I confess, I am the Martha in our office. What really worries me is that I will soon be moving interstate and working from home – who will I bake for? Neighbours, teachers and carers will certainly benefit.
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If you’re moving to WA = you can cook cake for me!
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I’m reading this while myself and two colleagues are polishing off some banana bread I baked yesterday (I added 1/2 cup of coconut to this loaf – YUMMO). I love baking so have no choice but to share the goodies around, otherwise I’d be 20 kilos overweight instead of 10!
The best thing about coming to work is NO INTERRUPTIONS. Mmmm
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I love the feeling of walking into work and having people to tell my dreams to, and having compassionate enough colleagues who will humour me while I go into depths about how in my dream I got trapped in a lift and, that’s it, no punchline…
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I used to be the office baker. Then I moved into a rental with a terrible oven, not to mention my colleagues slowly started grating on my nerves to the point where I just do not care enough for them to give them the priviledge of tasting my loved baked goods!
Now the office goes hungry.
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I love working in my little marketing team (and for government) it’s my birthday today and my boss bought everyone a cup cake (their are 12 of us) and the other PA”s are taking me out to the pub for lunch.
I have worked in offices for over 15 years and I still love it, we have cake for everyone once a month and also have a fruit and cheese platter for the healthy ones.
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I work in an office ALONE – I work for a small business and the only other staff member (my boss) is at home looking after a new bub. I had my birthday last week. Alone. No cake. But I gave myself an early minute. Every cloud.
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I just love your posts Bec! Have read your books too and you have such a flair for witty and relatable writing. Office crockery rules are often a mystery to me….people seem to get very attached to particular items – even when they don’t actually own them! And forks…there are never enough in the cutlery draw! I am sure there is a parallel universe wihere there is a deep abyss of thousands of forks from all different offices…
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I’d like to have the time to sit in traffic, listening to what ever radio station I wanted to, not having to monitor the songs or the talk because there are 3 kids in the back seat, not having to turn the radio up to hear it over the kids or turn it down because someone wants to ask me some inane question.
I’d like to be able to sit down at the computer for longer than 10 minutes without someone demanding it’s ‘their turn’ on the computer – like I’m on it for fun!
I’d like to go for lunch at midday on Friday and not leave the table until 4:30pm.
I’d like to be able to turn to the person next to me and ask them what they thought of the way I do things. Sometimes it’s good to get a different perspective and you don’t get that sitting at the computer by yourself.
I’d like to be able to turn my computer off at 5pm and walk away for the day, not having to think about what else I need to do. Because I work for myself, I’m the only one who will do it. Sometimes it gets done at 11pm because the house is quiet.
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No.4!!! Before I had my son, I would complain about sitting in the m2 traffic… Now that im back at work… I LOVE it!! I can turn the music up, or I can turn it off and sit in absolute silence
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I’ve been working from home for 3 years now. Apart from Bec’s list, I miss the Friday afternoon beers!
I don’t miss the commute (that’s two extra hours of kids time each day) and while I miss the chit chat and gossip, the lack of distraction means I get five days’ work done in three.
I also DON’T miss air conditioning and being in a sealed box!!
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Cupcakes are used as currency in my office.
You need something done in a hurry? you best be walking through the door with a box of cupcakes from the specialty cupcake store in town before you even think of asking. Cupcake payment is required in advance, not promised on completion of job.
no wonder I cant shift those last couple of kilos of winter weight.
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Cupcakes are used as currency on my office. Need something done? You best be bringing cupcakes before you walk tbrp
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Stupid phone cut me off mid comment, sorry!!
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I absolutely loathed working in an office, the best thing I ever did was go into hospitality, then entertainment and became a creative type. So much better than office politics. Even better that I now work for myself. The downside to that is there isn’t any one to talk to so Facebook is my water cooler conversational place.
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Has anyone got any alternatives to cake that are healthier but still provide the camaraderie and break? There are a few in my office trying to lead a healthy life and we would appreciate Mamamia’s readers suggestions of different sorts of ‘plates’ that could be brought in for afternoon tea.
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Wholemeal apple or banana muffins. You’ll get the sweetness from the fruit so add minimal or no sugar at all. Plenty of recipes online.
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When few members of our team started on diets, we would have a cake plus a fruit platter.
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My workplace likes fruit, sourdough and home-made dips.
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I want to be at your workplace!
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We sometimes have platters with cold meats, cheese, dips, olives and fruit for afternoon tea. They can be quite healthy if you chose the right things.
Unfortunately it’s all stuff that goes well with wine so our Friday afternoon catered meetings often end up with us raiding the board room fridge and the result is far less healthy than a slice of cake ever would have been!
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Sushi!
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I’m on maternity leave now so this made me chuckle about ‘office life’. When back at work, I work with a lot of mostly young women (in PR).
We have the most bountiful and beautiful morning tea spreads for birthdays, baby showers, farewells etc but what cracks me up is that we all gather in a circle around the food and chat while watching the food. No one ever EATS much of the food!
The women are mostly trendy young fit things on diets or conscious not to act like the garbage guts. So funny! But in stealth mode, the food all goes by hometime that day due to people swinging by for a sneaky bite!
What I don’t miss about the office are the pointless long team or section meetings, having to suck up to clients, control freak types and sharing the toilets and kitchen fridge! Oh and small talk….HATE small talk with people I wouldn’t normally be friends with on weekends.
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It’s like you are reading my mind Bec. The other thing I miss besides the cake at my place of work are the delectable party pies and sausage rolls that in-house catering made for our end -of- month team get together. And of course the lively conversation with team mates
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Maybe she has worms? lol
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I am studying from home. Following the school run I just sat down, flicked through some news headlines (did you know it ‘snowed’ in SA today Bec?). Then I remembered I have wet washing in the machine, hung it out. Then a real estate agent called, which made me all panic about my upcoming move and I called a mover. One, so nothing really achieved.
Then I remembered it’s payday, and there’s a bill and did my tax return come in? Oh, and a medicare claim from weeks ago needs to be processed. So I sorted my paperwork. Then I wrote a shopping list because my husband isn’t home so I can’t pop out for late night shopping and I’m out of fruit for the lunchboxes tomorrow (mum points for kids eating all the fruit though!).
Then I got hungry and now I’m snacking and looking at MM.
Word count – 75. I’m really not suited to this. Did I mention I’m sitting on my bedroom floor working at study is pulled apart for renovating?
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Don’t beat yourself up – I’ve been working from home for five years and I STILL have some of those days! You may not have done much “work” so far but look at all the goals you kicked with life admin!!
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I work in sport admin. With men. They don’t “do” cake.
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My boyfriend works in an all men environment (aviation software). They don’t do cake either. However they have embraced:
- Gourmet Pizza (no domino’s for them!)
- Fresh fruit delivered daily
- Morning and afternoon coffee deliveries (this is on top of the two Nespresso machines in the office)
- Beginning of the month corporate lunches (grilled salmon, dukkah chicken, arancini balls, anti-pasta platter and mini pastries were on the menu this month)
- Friday knock off beers, which are often held on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
The other day said boyfriend said I was lucky because we got cake I work. I know what I’d prefer and it’s not a slice of caramel cheesecake!
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Bec, this is brilliant! I love how you write, it’s like you pulled the thoughts from my head and wrote them in a witty, clever way. Love it!
Except… Now I miss working even more! I stopped work earlier this year and it was too stressful and I wanted to spend the time with my littlies while they were still little. But reading this has made me realise that I miss it so much, the banter, the “work friends” who like and respect me only for me, not because I am someone’s wife or mother, all my friends and I eating lunch together.
I was the feeder. I love to bake but don’t really love to eat cake so every fortnight(ish) I would bake something for my work mates and it was great because i didnt eat it.
Hoping to find a job next year that fits in with school hours so I can have a bit of me back again, oh yeah, and stop shopping so much!
Thanks for the laugh x
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I agree Bec! I work in the office 3 days, and study at home 2 days. As much as Tim from Accounts drives me crazy, my boss has an ego issue & also mutters to himself, I adore the gorgeous women that I work with & they make it a pleasure to go to work.
PS Bec – I love your writing & think you are a totally rad lady xxx
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So funny Bec – and I hear you on the cake thing. In an office everyone can see if you’re being a greedy pants. At home, I can put away three slices of apple cake and a whole tub of crab dip and my cat and rat (grrrr…) don’t notice. I also miss the camaraderie and being part of a team. But I don’t for one second miss the office fridge.
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I have a nice quiet house to work in but the silence drives me mental. Nowadays I take my laptop to a friendly cafe where there’s someone to say hi to and to discuss what happened in Parliament and on Puberty Blues. There is cake too, if I want it. The noise level is just right – buzzy but not loud. I have a friend who wrote an entire novel at Gloria Jeans at Indooroopilly Shoppingtown. She even gave them a mention in the acknowledgements.
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I’ve never worked in an office, but gosh it sounds good. Especially:
1. You get to work while SITTING DOWN!
2. There is AIR CONDITIONING!
3. And a LUNCH HOUR!
I do, however, have much access to cake and it’s ilk.
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I work from home four days a week but go into the office most Mondays…… And I love it – the chat, the compliments on what I’m wearing or my haircut, and for some reason the coffee and cake tastes better at the office. But i do love my days at home. Would love them more if the dog two doors up would stop barking. So you could say I get to have my cake and eat it too.
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If it’s a nice dog and they’re nice people, maybe you could offer to keep it company during the day. Just a thought! My dog would love that!
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After years of working in offices etc I now work from home. I found it so hard at the beginning. Really difficult. There are HUGE positives for not working in an office though:
-No commuting time (if I get out of bed at 7.30 I can log in by 7.32)
-No “politics” about who likes who etc
-No need to clean the toilet seat every time you go to the toilet
-If I don’t want to talk to someone, I just don’t answer my phone
That said, I really do miss the “community” of working in an office. I still think the good outweighs the bad when working from home though!
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Yes! Totally agree – it’s all of the non-work parts of working that make me miss working in an office!
But I’ve been freelancing for 5 years now and I don’t think I’d like to trade it for an office again any time soon.. I still remember the office politics, the demanding and bitchy boss, the relentless and pointless meetings…… I do miss the mid-morning hot choc run though!!!
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Cake. CAAAAKE. Why is it that when you eat cake at home, it’s ho-hum-yeah-whatevs-dont-wanna-put-on-weight … but when you see cake at work, you scarfe it down as though you haven’t eaten for three days!
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It’s a colleague’s farewell morning tea this morning (cupcakes anyone?) and while currently chowing down on breakfast all I can think about is devouring a red velvet.
Bec – I do have to say, Tim from Accounts is definitely a F***knuckle. Debra from Marketing will come to her senses soon enough and drop him.
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Bahahahaha!!!
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How I wish you could be in the office to eat cake with us!!!
I have to admit that I am the office baker. iVillage and Mamamia share the most amazing tech team ever. I bribe them often with cake!
I also bake when stressed and sadly that is often!
I worked at home for 6 years before my son went to school and while I loved being at home with him there is something very “communal” about working in an office. It’s easy to get into the grass is greener kind of thinking but for me being part of something that is outside of my home and family has been amazing for me. That said I am lucky to have such a wonderful office full of people to catch up with every day
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I miss all that and more. Working from home is highly over-rated.
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I dont think I would miss not being pestered by my children all day!
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Woops – that was meant to be I would miss being pestered!
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Bec, I loved this. SO much. Thank you for capturing life SO well.
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Thanks Grace!! What a shame we’re not co-workers, we could be emailing each other from neighbouring cubicles!
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I only have one thing to say. I know Bek is busy with Mama Mia publishing and two little kids. But please can she write more. I always smile when I read Bek. I know the other women are lovely. But I miss Lana and Nikki’s writing. And I especially miss Bek. I guess I am just a different demographic. I like hearing from someone closer to my own age. No offence to the Gen Y’s.
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Oh Ju! What a wonderful comment to read! I’m trying to write a bit more for the site at the moment so more posts coming! xxx
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Thanks Ju – don’t forget to come visit Nicky and I at http://www.ivillage.com.au
xxxx
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Bec, you never fail to bring a smile to my face and are always so relatable!
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Thanks Silver!
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I hear ya! During my twenties I worked in lots of offices – mostly with women – and I miss the banter, the compliments, the cake. I miss reading on the train. I miss going out to lunch with friends or sitting in a park by myself and people watching for forty-five minutes. But there are perks to working at home – oh ….my little boy is grabbing at the mouse…gah…..but I am sure there are some perks to working at home with children! Multi-tasking is taken to new and extraordinary new heights!
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