Speak up. You know you want to.
Almost since I began Mamamia, I’ve been asked to do an Open Post. Many websites do this. It’s hardly an original idea. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t so keen on it. But there are so many things that happen to me (and you) during a week or that I think about that don’t really ‘fit’ into a dedicated post and let’s be honest, what’s the point of having a thought or experiencing ANYTHING if you don’t share it via the Interweb?
And hey, I’m here to serve (or at least inform and entertain) you, so let’s give it a whirl.
I’m going to kick off by telling you about my Friday night. Last week, as regular visitors will know, was utterly surreal. I spent much of Friday just drained and mentally curled into the foetal position, rocking in the corner. Since ACTUALLY doing that was not really my thing, I decided instead to take myself to go see a movie preview (more about that shortly, you’re going to be excited) and then I sent my wonderful nanny home early so I could ground myself by spending extra time with my kids.
Things in my house work very well when our nanny Mel is in charge. She is a far more efficient and organised herder of children than I am. But, in my defence, I think they behave much worse for me. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Life is certainly more unpredictable when I’m in charge. I bundled the two little ones into the bath along with their cheese and crackers. I’ve never minded them eating in the bath. Not, you know, entire meals. Like I would never serve them spaghetti or lasange in the bath. But the odd snack? Whatever. When hunger and bathtime collide, I’m ok with that.
It’s all going swimmingly until the toddler does a poo. Oh, if you’re eating while you read this, maybe come back later. Or at least swallow before you read more. At first, I think it’s just some cracker but as soon as I realise, I mobile and whip the kids out of the bath. As I attempt to fish out the floating turd, my daughter catches sight of it and vomits all over the floor. She has a weak stomach like that.
I am very calm at this stage. I skillfully tuck the toddler under one arm, step over the vomit and usher my daughter towards the other bathroom. I pop them both under the shower and scrub them vigorously. Then it’s into pyjamas (have you ever tried to contain a live octopus in a string bag? That’s what dressing my children is like) and back to the other bathroom to tackle the vomit.
Thoughtfully, the dog has helped out by eating it. That would be my trifecta of absurdity then. The whole episode was still infinitely more pleasurable than the rest of last week, let me tell you.
So. Anything you’d care to share? Anything happened to you lately, good, bad, amusing, outrageous or trivial that you’d like to get off your chest? Anything you’ve got an opinion or thought about that needs a good airing? Now is your chance….
Comments
1,230 Comments so far
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Well I’m feeling angry. I feel like my only worth as a human being is my body. And even then, I have to be a size 0 or I’m STILL not worth anything.
Over it. SO over it!!!
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this has to be the most boring trail of comments i ever read on this site
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That story is gold Mia, it was so good I had to call all my work mates in to read out the story from the 4th last paragraph. Love your work.
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I guess now is as good a time as any to ask the following…
What are the little symbols besides everyone’s names when you post? Do you get to decide if you get blue or red or green?
Do I not know any of this because I’m just a newbie?
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I think they’re just randomly generated. They used to be heads and I think they look nicer.
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Also if you log in with your Facebook or Twitter, it shows your profile pic.
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OK everyone, Lots of talk this week about hating cooking etc. I’ve been toying with an idea for a while, so I’m going to launch it on you guys.
I will come to your home and help you cook stuff you have always wanted to – with your gear in your own kitchen. I will even take you shopping if we need to!
I’m in Sydney, so if anyone is interested, send me an email to krishelpscook@hotmail.com and we can go from there.
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great idea!
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Thanks, rainbow! I have been thinking about this for aaaaaages, and thought this would be a good way to start out. I am also pathologically patient with kids so am more than happy to teach kids to cook as well.
All emails and uselessness in the kitchen will be strictly confidential, of course.
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i am on the wrong side of the country too and love to cook, although am certainly no chef. do you know what i think would sell really well? offer a service to cook for parties, so all the food is home made and beautiful, but then they can say they made it with their own personal chef. would work well for children’s parties where people really struggle with serving good food that doesn’t come out of packets.
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Yeah I have thought of that as well! Also offering it to guys trying to impress girls, Mum coming to visit from the country or something…
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can you move to Perth? that would be fantastic…
Brilliant idea tho. Hope people take you up on it!
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Sounds fantastic! I’m in Sydney too, once I’ve fed the family I’ll send you an email !!
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Oh cool, thanks! Look forward to it, Lu.
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having email issues at the moment…havent forgotten you!
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What a wonderful idea! I’m in the wrong state, unfortunately, but good luck! xx
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Thanks, KJ!
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You know what.
That is a brilliant idea.
Sometimes you just need to cook something once, and then it is in your repertoire.
I was like that with Sushi. Never thought I could make sushi. Now I can whip it up in no time. Its really not that I hard but I did have a bit of a block about it.
Oh and it makes me look more capable and efficient in the kitchen than I really am.
I would have loved someone like you to come and show me that I could really do it, Kris.
Fantastic idea.
XXX
Now, need someone to show me how to make a pavlova. Loooooove pavlova. Can’t make it though.
Would you like to relocate to the west coast???
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Thanks, ML! Yeah, its looking like I might need to relocate isn’t it?
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Why is it so hard to get into see a doctor???? I’ve just phoned 4 surgeries to get an appointment…they have nothing available until next WEdnesday at the earliest…maybe…if I don’t mind turning up and waiting until they can squeeze me in…
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i would just turn up and wait or check out the after hours GP surgeries. i had to use one the other day and it was great
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I feel the same about dentists.. I was hoping for a next week appointment.. turns out he is booked out for the month!!
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I know what you mean – feel like I am a doctor shopper but in reality I just want to get to a doctor within the week when I am sick. Maybe it’s lucky that I have had to go to the 4 or 5 different surgeries now because a few have them have closed their books to new patients so at least our details are on the system already. Crazy… would rather see the same one each time.
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OK I”m going to have a rant about adults who take their young kids late night shopping – in their pyjamas. I enjoy going Thursday night shopping without my kids so I can do things like buy a bra, try different make up, line up at Medicare etc (all much easier without kids). But I don’t get it when I see mums and dads aimlessly wandering around gigantic shopping centres at 8:30pm with a toddler/pre-schooler in their pyjamas, in a pram, rubbing their eyes, crying/screeching and often being told to be quiet!
Let the poor buggers go to bed!
I also know there are full time workers who don’t get time to shop any other time, or single parents who have to take kids with them. BUT…..sacrifice your needs and put your kids first.
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add to that the parents who let their teenagers hang out unsupervised at those same shopping centres…blocking up the walkways and being in general badly behaved
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We went out at night in the Darling Harbour area recently and we were totally shocked by the number of babies and toddlers in prams – after 10pm !!
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Just a thought….
Considering Darling Harbour is touristry place, these people could be on holidays, and it’s a once off.
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yeah I did think of that….. we have travelled with young babies and we didnt dare mess with their sleep. But everyone is different I guess!
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At least the babies can sleep in their prams!
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I work in retail every Thursday night and EVERY WEEK I have a little rant to myself, firstly about parents dragging their three-year-olds around shopping centres at 9pm and secondly about the dodgy twelve year olds that come “hang out” in their oversized hoodies… go home you should all be in bed!!!!
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Parents who keep kids out at shops when they obviously need sleep or feeding. There is no need!
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Mum and I went to Green Day when they toured, and caught the train back to Lidcombe to her car, so it must have been AT LEAST 1130 by that time. We saw a bloke with his tiny little daughter walking through the carpark, and he wasn’t even holding her hand! I remember Mum being quite terrified for the munchkin, and I think it had been school holidays, as I said to her that I had seen HEAPS of little kids out really late before that. Crazy!
And the going out in jarmies – isn’t having a bath and getting your jarmies on the prelude to going to bed, not going shopping? Just sayin…
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THere is one exception to the rule. Over christmas when it was really late night shopping, mum took my brother, sister and I (in out pyjamas) to the shops at about 10.00am as a treat. We were so curious as to what the shops would look like at night.
It was so much fun… although the looked exactly like they did during the day. And the shops were only about a 5 minute drive from home!
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WHY did you have to go in pyjamas, not other clothes? That’s what irks me!
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Just after some well-founded opinions. I finished uni in July last year after 5 and a half years of full-time study, and after going travelling for 4 months at the end of last year have decided to take this year off as well to travel and work overseas.
I’m just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time to have off between uni and commencing your career, without ruining your chances of getting a job? I’ll be going in to the business/legal world and am terrified that I will be virtually unemployable when I come back. But I also don’t want to spend my entire adult life chained to a desk. Help!
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Taking a year off to travel after I left uni was a wonderful experience, but it did completely screw my options when I got back. It probably didn’t help that the recession happened in the middle of my year off! That was just my personal experience and I’ve got it on track now, but it was rough for a while there (I ended up working full time in hospitality for ten months when I got back from travelling, which was something I swore I would never do).
My field is advertising though and perhaps the situation for law is more structured/less competitive? Also I would never advise against travelling, it was the best thing I ever did, but maybe you are right to be worried. Maybe you could do some work in your chosen field while you’re overseas, so that when you get back you have an impressive chunk of time at a law firm or similar which you can show prospective employers?
Good luck x
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It can also work in your favour – your future employer would know that you have done some travelling as a reward for all of your years of hard work/study and would be ready to put your head down and get stuck into work!!
If you are in the legal industry it is difficult to get more than 2 weeks off – so take your break now and enjoy it!
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I agree it depends what field you are in. Saying that though in business definately it will not bugger your chances at all. Think this – graduate programs will still accept your application as long as you have completed your degree in the 2 years and have no more than 1 years work experience. The legal side depends what part.
My opinion and experience says it will help. The job world today is more about what you can offer. If you are a fast learner you can get the knowledge – but you need to be able to show you have the skills and more importantly the attitude to get what you want.
Make sure you are travelling you have exposing yourself to the culture becasue we will find when you are applying for jobs you can use example of how you handled situations or what you learnt. It also indicates independence, problem solving skills, life skills etc.
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I work in corporate law and would encourage you to apply for jobs before you go and discuss with them the possibility of postponing your start date for a year. Many (if not most) firms will be more than happy to accommodate this. Just a thought.
I agree completely that travelling experience will be invaluable to you when it comes to actually coping with the daily grind in your first job. Do it while you can!
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I met a lovely and loving couple this week, who have been married for 61 years. Every couple of sentences shared with them was to experience that they had a kind word for each other and everyone around them.
They shared the most beautiful, intimate and slightly wicked sense of humour between them. They positively sparkled with love and goodwill and kindness.
THAT is what makes the world keep turning, and it made me grateful to be alive.
Love, love, love!
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This superficial but anyway…this is on my mind dammit!!
What’s a good age to start using anti-aging eye creams/night creams etc.??
I’m 23 and want to start. Not so much because of my own face, but because i have noticed some friends my age and a little older are starting to get smile lines. I’m feeling like this is the beginning of the end.
I figure some MM’ers must know what’s good – and also if i start must i keep it up forever – or suffer worse lines for stopping?
Thankyou!!
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Im the same age Sophie and my age for doing things keep changing
at 18 it was 20, then it became 23 for sure but I rarely remember. I think it depends on your own skin.
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Use a good sunscreen (doesn’t have to cost much) then open a savings account for botox for a few years down the track. I wouldn’t spend much on eye cream – botox is the answer.
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Yes you can start using eye creams and nite creams. You would only need a moisturising eye cream. You don’t need one that targets wrinkles(as I’m sure you don’t have any at 23) and the nite cream would depend on your skin eg. do you need to target pigmentation, or dry skin etc etc. The best thing you can do for your skin with regard to wrinkles is wear sunscreen (and a hat) every day, drink plenty of water and, I wish I had done this earlier, but try and sleep on your back. I am more lined around one eye because I favour sleeping on that side!! Oh and don’t smoke!! But you can only do so much and then there is genetics!!
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haha, trust me, face creams will not stop lines, and yes it is the beginning of the end. there is nothing like the skin in youth. make the most of it !!! after 25, its pretty much downhill when it comes to wrinkles on the face. it will happen slowly but surely. $30, $50, $200 face creams will not stop the process so save your money and do not get fooled by the marketing propoganda. No cream will eradicate lines. Botox may. Make sure you are eating well, moisturising and using spf 30 on your face everyday, not smoking or sunbaking. That should prevent the worst happening to your face but mind you, it will still happen. A lot of the way you age is determined by genetics so take a look at your mums face and slowly yours will start to age in a similar manner. i am 36 years old and it is horrid seeing your face age, its yuck !
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I don’t know if I just got lucky or not, but a few years ago (as my friends and I started to hit 30) I started noticing that my face was a bit smoother than theirs. Please note this is not something I feel smug about or go bragging about and my lack of wrinkles is balanced out by their amazing toned arms, smaller and flatter tummies, better hair… I could go on and on. Anyway, I put it down to using moisturiser daily since I was about 17-18. Nothing fancy, just whatever is the cheapest one in Coles that also has a sunscreen in it.
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Are wrinkles REALLY that bad? – it saddens me to see girls in their 20′s worried about it.
Anyway enough of that, I’m as vain as the next person – and I’m really lucky at 40 not to have a single line on my face. Except for when I smile and then I have very fine lines around my eyes, which I don’t mind so much because they’re ‘happy lines’. If they made me look sad or cross then it probably would bother me.
I don’t believe eye creams do much but I’m religious about SUNSCREEN – rain hail or shine it’s 30+. But I didn’t start doing that till about 24 and I find myself wishing I’d slathered my whole body earlier, neck shoulders, arms etc. I do like glycolic products to smooth the skin and I’ve always eaten LOTS of fruit and veg, and avoided too much sugar or alcohol.
In the last couple of years I’ve started wearing those kind of graduated tinted sunglasses. Because they’re dark enough to wear while driving, and still light enough to wear on an overcast day. If I could go back in time, I would have worn sunglasses all the way through my teen years.
The most important thing is being happy – Sophie lap it up now because we never truly appreciate how beautiful we are in the present moment when we’re focused on insecurities. It seems that we all look back in amazement and wonder how it is that we never realized just how gorgeous we were at the time.
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As well as sunscreen (and don’t forget to do your hands – they tell your age when the rest of you is trying to fib), early nights, no stress, good diet and genetics. That’s what prevents wrinkles. It’s the fun police, but it’s true.
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Dear St Joan of Holloway,
Please give me the fortitude and serenity to deal with the stinginess of my future Mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law whilst planning my weddings. Yes, weddings. As my fiancee and I are from opposite ends of the country and didn’t think it was fair to expect either all of his or my family to have to pay for airfare and accommodation if we only held one, we are trying to do the right thing and hold a wedding for each of our families.
Please lend me your patience and sheer managerial awesomeness in the year ahead, and help me to accept and work around that which I cannot change. Please also help direct me to a decent dressmaker who understands my aversion to strapless wedding dresses.
Yours,
Ms. Butlertron
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I also have an aversion to strapless wedding dresses, and it is virtually impossible to find anything else! I have gone vintage to counteract this – it might be an option for you too?
I also feel your pain with the two weddings idea: my warring parents are incapable of being in the same room without tearing into each other, and as I don’t want this to happen at MY WEDDING I have vowed to have two (one in England, where my dad lives, and one in Oz). What a saga! Wishing you all the best of luck with it x
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Thanks Evey, I think I’m also just going to have to find a vintage pattern that I like and take it to a dressmaker next time I’m in Australia. Best of luck with your weddings too!
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The House of Moshe on High Street Armadale, Melbourne. Brilliant. Ask to see Moshe himself
He is great at taking YOU into account.
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I also have an aversion to strapless wedding dresses! They look unflattering unless you have the perfect body, a lovely decolletage & long slender neck… & NO back fat!
WHY do all the big girls insist on wearing them???
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I think cause they’re the only style that’s really getting made these days… I can say this because last night I spent three hours trawling the wedding gown galleries on brides.com and only saw about three strapful dresses, all of which looked either like art installations or as if they had been designed for a Mormon.
Also I’m getting married in winter.
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elope instead!!
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Next time I get married am definitely eloping.
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Does anyone here watch the Inbetweeners? Hilarious show but oh so very wrong, love it!
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I do and I absolutely love it. I came across it a few episodes ago while channel surfing and I was laughing like a mad woman soon after. It is very wrong but it just works. I make sure the kids are well and truly in bed though!
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I think I love you both! One of my fave shows ever
Cant wait for season 3
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Same Kel! there is always at least one laugh out loud moment per episode. Poor Will last night and his alopecia of the ball sack, bahahaha oh dear.
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Haha just rewatched that one! Classic. The episode after that is hilarious too. Any othere tv suggestions along the same lines? If you havent seen them you should check out peep show and it crowd
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Love it crowd haven’t seen peep show so I’ll defiantely check that out. None come to mind really oh Arrested Development is hilarious have you seen it?
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make that definitely!
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Yeah another fave. Any news on whether theyre doin the movie? its been so on and off
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There’s an Arrested Development movie rumoured? Oh that would be awesome! I still love that Richie Cunningham narrates it.
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well apparently they are still writing it sooo hopefully it’s not too much longer!
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What channel is it on? I haven’t heard of it. I LOVE the IT Crowd though.
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I dont know if its on tv here? You should be able to download it though:D
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It’s on channel Go Tuesday nights at 9:30, I nearly wet myself with laughter, favourite show on tv at the moment.
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Oh man, I REALLY NEED to set up my set top box…
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Mia great post. It’s like being at a party and wandering around joining in on conversations that you find interesting. Must do it again sometime!
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Sigh – I usually love coming to Mamamia and reading a wide range of opinions and comments on the interesting topic of the day. Congrats Mia on a wildly successful post and possibly record-breaking response rate… but seeing ’1,016 responses’ has just exhausted me before I’ve even got started!!!!
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I’m experiencing an extreme lack of motivation at the moment. To do ANYTHING. I want to sit of the couch and eat lots of toast. Fruit toast preferably. I don’t want to study anymore, or work, or have to train.
Ah, feels nice to say that
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not entriely sure what to say but i always felt unable to do anything when i wasnt taking proper care of myself. it may just be your body telling you to have a day off and sleep.
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Thanks LittleOne, I think I needed someone to tell me that it’s ok to take a day off! x
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Oh JoJo, I feel your pain!
I too am extremely unmotivated at the moment… To work, to put in effort with people who aren’t willing to put effort into me, to set goals, plan holidays, plan life… I just want to do what I want to do. Read. Sleep. Drink tea. Hug my bf. Op Shop. Oh, and I just adore toast.
Hope we can find a balance between all that and the real world.
xx
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ummmm, this is so weird.. but I feel exactly the same way!!! i’m putting off writing a report AND i just ate some fruit toast! It was so yummy!!!!
geeez that couch looks nice
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I am being bullied.
By 2 border collies.
My gent’s dogs – he’s in England on a course living the life of Riley from the sounds of the phone calls from the pub.
Instead, I wake up to 2 furry faces wanting entertainment. And walking. And fed.
They are my shadow. Jess, the alpha lady, curls herself around the loo when I’m on it. Both try and climb into the bath when I’m in it. Asterix, the hairy hippy, had his head in the fridge earlier when I was looking for dinner. Maybe I should have asked him if the hummus was still fresh?
And his head on my pillow while I was in the shower.
When I get home, there is no rest, no cup of tea, no time for that.
And when I try to sleep, a squeaky pig is pressed into my back to be thrown. Again. And again.
At least the squeak doesn’t work anymore.
To be 37 and be bullied by teenagers is not good. Not good at all.
But by heck, I’ll miss them when they go back to his!
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hahahaha Kat i think anyone with dogs can relate! Hilarious
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Anyone with children can relate!
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im having a really shitty, curl up into a ball and rock kind of week. waiting to start fertility treatment which altho initially gave me hope is now giving me fear and massive anxiety, like it suddenly hit me all at once, “oh my god, i can never have babies naturally”.
to make matters worse my withdrawal bleed period that was suppose to be triggered with the first drugs the gyno gave me is stubbornly refusing to come and i cant start the fertility treatment without the bleed, have to call gyno today cos its over a week now, i dont think its meant to take this long???
to top it all off my job is loading on lashings of pressure sales wise, im not a natural born sales person and struggle with it at the best of times, only took it in the first place cos at the time i really needed full time work and was anticipating pregnancy so thought it would only be an inbetween thing. i have a review today and got two breeches this week so im so nervous and have been teary all yesterday and today about everything. in the car yesterday i cried all the way to work.
i dont think i have ever felt this consistantly low in my entire life, and i dont quite know how to shake myself out of it…
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I’m not too good with words… so sending you a virtual hug
*HUGS*
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Anna my good friend had to have IVF to conceive her second child but just had her third naturally. It can happen love.
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Quit your job! It’s not worth it if it is making you so unhappy & the stress will fuck up your hormones!
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In my experience this is true. My stressful job made me go into labour at 24 weeks – so I had to give it up anyway. I believe that if pregnancy is your goal and if you can afford to, then change jobs and reduce your levels of stress.
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I tried for 15 months to get pregnant. When my job changed and became a little less stressful, I fell pregnant the next month. It may have been a coincidence, but it’s something to consider.
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a slightly junveile one for the morning.
Gumboots ( the pretty kind wiht spots and cupcakes on them). Appropriate uni atire or not? should they be reserved for people actually walking through mud?
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I think we’re too serious with fashion… If you like it, wear it! Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun
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Couldn’t agree more. I feel like everyone walks around wearing what is effectively a slight variation of the next person’s attire. It’s almost a bloody uniform.
I admire those who wear what makes them happy. Matt Preston’s yellow pants on Masterchef made me happy last night
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He was wearing Happy Pants!
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nup with a bright skirt and black opaques? go for it! they look awesome! and if it starts to rain and get muddy you’ll be SET!
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thankyou- ive been contemplating them for a while coz they look great but i wasnt sure. if to the shops i go
xx
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thankyou- ive been contemplating them for a while coz they look great but i wasnt sure. off to the shops i go
xx
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“Appropriate uni atire or not? ”
There is no such thing as ‘inappropriate’ uni attire (except maybe full business suit etc). It’s one of the things I miss most about my early twenties. Lace stockings and crushed velvet hat? Plaid/ denim shirt and black felt fedora? Why not, anything goes!
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I totally agree. All my Sid Vicious T-shirts and ripped jeans are relegated to “weekend wear” now. I miss my uni wardrobe
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PJ’s? Done in our 8 am lectures all the time!
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which uni??! I should dare to do this one day
love it
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I love how experimental you can get – there is literally no dress code. It’s a source of joy for me everyday to dress for uni!
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i luv your joy alley cat….reminding me to be see the happiness in simpler things
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i luv your joy alley cat….reminding me to see the happiness in simpler things
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I used to looove people watching at uni. So many gorgeous outfits and themes…:-)
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Wore mine today, with cherries on. My feet are nice and dry.
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Wear what you want to uni. Once you start working full time you’ll rarely get to wear that stuff again and you will WISH you had when you had the chance!
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Does anyone know how to get chocolate out of a cotton knit top? I have washed it, but it didn’t really work, also tried to scrape the chocolate off. It happened around easter, but in the spirit of free speech I would love some help!
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you can try carpet cleaner. sounds odd, but it works! I would try a spot that is not noticeable first in case the colour in the shirt runs.
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Try putting it in the freezer then “cracking” it off. Or bicarb soda with vinegar seems to clean anything.
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I’ve always wanted to say:
I feel like a foreigner in my own country. Fully breed and born here, but I feel like I don’t ‘fit in’ at all. I hate it how the left wing media here is constantly squashed and misrepresented. I hate it how any intelligence is treated as rubbish. I hate it how any difference is treated with fear.
I’m afraid that there isn’t any where that exists that isn’t like this. Perhaps I’m being naive.
I especially hate people who are rude, and treat people badly because they think they have a right to. I hate people who walk around with a sense of entitlement, and think they can sail through life. You find this everywhere though.
Phew…ok hate all gone!
Sending out the love to counteract xo
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Woah – the number of responses to this post are HUGE!
I saw it posted this morning at work but couldn’t read, planned to come back and browse tonight…no chance – bed calls to me.
I look forward to reading and learning many new interesting things in the coming days!
Go MM’ers!
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I love this – there is an ad on Channel 10 at the moment, but the website has some great pics: http://www.thisisoz.com.au/
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Miss 11′s best mate is on there
it’s a beautiful site!
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Awesome! Its great, isn’t it?
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Another thing on my mind.
I read two blogs which Im pretty sure are from people on here and I want to make the connection between their blogs and here
Theyre Jaded Gym Junkie and She Dreams Big
Does anyone know? xx
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I’m sure I’ve seen someone refer to the Jaded Gym Junkie blog as their own on here. Can’t for the life of me remember who though.
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Some random thoughts:
1. Hubby and I have 4 weeks till we go away for our anniversary “weekend” (2 nights and 1 day, with driving either side). I can’t wait. Sleep ins, spas, NO CHILDREN, spending time by ourselves, a fire place. Did I mention NO CHILDREN??! The only time all year we have a break.
2. MIL is coming to look after the kids, which is awesome and I love her for it but I am a little nervous, since she is coming on her own (they live interstate and my FIL is too unwell to help). I would really like if her friend came and stayed too, as she sees my kids frequently and knows them better than MIL. But I don’t want to insult MIL and tell her I don’t think she can handle them on her own. They are only 3 years and 18 months, and a whole world of trouble at the moment. Am quite nervous….
3. People who mispronounce mischievous really annoy me.
4. My dogs have been purposely standing out in the rain, just so we will towel them dry when they come inside. Cheeky buggers.
5. I could never ever give up bread. Ever.
6. I want another tattoo that incorporates 3 stars for the two children I have, and the one I lost years ago. But as most people don’t know about the 1st child I am unsure as I don’t want to have to explain.
7. I really need to go to bed!
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haha I like the part about the dogs. My dog does that too!
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Number 3 – which way do you pronounce it? I thought both ways were legitimate?
Number 6 – I think that’s a totally lovely idea, and you don’t have to explain it to anyone you don’t feel comfortable sharing it with.
Number 7 – me too…
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mischievious does my head in. It is spelt mischievous, why does the “i” magically get added?
Also tangine – there is only one “n” in tagine, people!
Oh, and definately. Man, that hurt even typing it!
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arghhhh the incorrect spelling of DEFINITELY drives me crazy..
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ohh, i try to avoid spelling it because i can never remember lol
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lol well there it is above, leave the dark side and join the light!!
teehee. i always spell ‘embarrassing’ wrong….ironic i know.
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Patsii, I can help you!
the spelling of DeFINITEly is FINITE
ta da.
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You know what I hate- when people say “expresso” instead of “ess-pres-so” and when people say “free” instead of “three”…
With the three one, I’ve got no issue if a person has some form of speech impediment and so all their “th” sound like “f”, but so often I come across people who say things along the lines of “THeir are FRee (3) of THis item” and it just bugs me!!
Maybe it’s ‘cos I distinctly remember my grandmother saying to me as a child “It’s TH-REE. Don’t be lazy with your annunciation!” So I haven’t done it since!
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I had to break up with a boyfriend who said “Free”. It grated that much! There were other issues, but that was just classic.
Likewise, poor spelling irks as well – especially when there is a spell check.
Supposively grates as does axs instead of ask. People that over pronounce words and add an “ah” sound at the end annoy as well. Examples: thinGA, one-na, said-deh.
It’s like soap – you can be poor and still use it – same with pronouncing your words.
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OK Flutterby, I’m 99% sure this is on your ‘grating’ list….. “She should of gone shopping”
Since when was it not obvious that should’ve = should have and the words ‘should’ and ‘of’ simply don’t go together?!!
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Oh, yes. I’m not a snob. It’s butchering a beautiful language.
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Aaarrggghhh! Thanks Jac, that’s another one of mine!
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Abbreviating ‘because’ to ‘cos’ is also an irritation to some
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or until to ’till’!
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It bugs me when people use the incorrect ‘their’. . .
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OH GOD YES!!!!
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or ‘your’
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What about it’s/its? Why do seemingly so few people know that “it’s” is a contraction for “it is”, not a possessive? What do they teach in primary school these days????
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I hate when people pronounce picture as piture. Pronounce the C people. Lazy! Drives me nuts.
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sandwich is one of my bugbears – pronounce the D rather than samwich!
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Agree, but I reckon Sanga is acceptable as an abbreviation.
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cupofcino…AARGH! It’s CAPpucino. Oh and what really gets on my goat? When People say ASStraylya instead of AUSTRALIA!
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I hate it when people add ‘s’ to the end of names. Like ‘Westfields’ when its ‘Westfield’, ‘Smiggles’ when its ‘Smiggle’ etc…
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I hate when people write “to” instead of “too”! ALOT of younger people make this mistake!
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can I just say that I LOVE that you write ALOT rather than A LOT. I’m positive that alot IS a real word however it alsways comes up in spell check as two…
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I can assure you it’s 2 words – I had to write it out as 2 separate words 200 times in English in Year 8!! I have always thought writing lines is such a crap form of education but I can tell you, I’ve never written ‘alot’ since!
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damn! I seriously think it should be the other way around.
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definitely two words. x
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I am so happy that so many of us know how to spell properly and are pissed off about bad spelling!
I won’t go in to restaurants that have common things mis-spelled because I think they clearly don’t respect the stuff they are serving enough to spell it properly, so why would I order it.
Oh, another one – it CAESAR!
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*it is* CAESAR. Not Cesar, or Ceasar.
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I am a mil & Grandma of 7 . Currently caring for 8 m old & 2 yr old once a week – they live nearby. Was doing this 3 days a week but even tho I am a ‘young’ 60 and an experienced teacher, parent & gparent the ‘job’ of care & love for the Kids really does need 2 ( not saying 1 CANT do it mmers) especially as friend knows kids well – then you two can enjoy your special weekend without worry. If it’s about ‘how to tell her’ talk to hubby – she’s his mum …
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Thanks Denyse and N/L for your advice. That is what I am hoping will happen – the friend will just come and help out, especially since MIL and her friend don’t get to see each other a lot anyway.
I just didn’t want her to think I thought she was incapable – she is a FANTASTIC grandmother, I just know how exhausting my kids can be! Especially as it’s the first time the baby has been left with someone else overnight. It will be fine and hubby and I will have a great time! Now for it to actually arrive…
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As a mum, mother in law and grandmother ……. who looks after grandchildren during the week, while parents work …. and in a week will have two year old twin grandchildren to stay for 3 nights while parents are having a break ……….I think you can suggest to your MIL that she can call on her friend for help or support or a break at any time while you are away. (But first ask friend if this is okay.) Then let nature take its course. This way you you are being considerate without possibly undermining your MIL. That’s what I would like. And even if it is hard for your MIL, it will also be a wonderful bonding experience and then when it is all over she can go home and rest and catch up on sleep.
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And what about ‘vulnerable’?
Everyone pronounces it as vunrable…. no ‘L’ anywhere to be heard.
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I had to break up with a boyfriend who said “Free”. It grated that much! There were other issues, but that was just classic.
Likewise, poor spelling irks as well – especially when there is a spell check.
Supposively grates as does axs instead of ask and LUGzurious. People that over pronounce words and add an “ah” sound at the end annoy as well. Examples: thinGA, one-na, said-deh.
It’s like soap – you can be poor and still use it – same with pronouncing your words.
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RE: The tattoo
Maybe just don’t tell people?
If they ask why you got stars, just say that’s what you wanted. Then if there are people you are ok with explaining to, or that already know… then let them know.
The world doesn’t need to know all about you just because you get some ink
… it’s important to you, and that’s what matters.
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You could always say the third star is you if you needed to. And say it was your connection to your 2 kids.
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I have a tattoo on my forearm – very prominent – which is for my brother who died four years ago. It’s a quote from The Little Prince. People ask me about it all the time. If I don’t want to tell them, I say it’s my favourite book (it isn’t) or even that I was read it as a child (I wasn’t). Sometimes I do tell people and they are usually sensitive. I wouldn’t tell anyone I wasn’t comfortable with.
As far as stars go, they are so ubiquitous I don’t think many people will ask you “what do they represent?” You can always say, “I just like the design.”
I look at my tat every day and I never regret it. I think yours is a beautiful idea and it shouldn’t make people feel awkward, and if it does that’s their neurosis. Good luck!
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Re: The tattoo – if anyone asks, tell them the design has personal significance to you. Most people would work out that it’s not something you want to disclose. I also like the idea of saying one of the stars represents you.
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Thanks everyone! Lovely ideas about the tattoo – I think I have decided on it now and will go ahead with it soon!
Also, very pleased so many people have issues with other people’s pronunciation (and YES I can’t stand when people say pronOUNciation…) hehehe
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I think you should be grateful your MIL is coming to look after your kids and leave it at that. You shouldnt assume the friend even wants to come. It will be a huge job and the friend might not even be interested in giving up her weekend to look after your kids.
After MIL raised her own kids, I’m sure she’s more than up to it.
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Im not sure how much sense this will make but here goes.
Im 18 from the time i was 13 i have been a complete basket case, unable to maintain proper relationships except with the few people who really fought to stay close to me.
in that time i havent been in a relationship (excluding one drunk night last year).
now Im starting to gte noticed by guys (helped by a 15kg wiehgt loss), but im still not sure how emotionally ready i am for a relationship.
bringing it to presetn dilema- i found out on the weekend that the very cute very nice guy i work with likes me and now im completely comfused, i want the relationship , but i also dont want it for a few reasons-
1. we work together, in the same department and everything
2. i like him aswell but i dont know how well it would work and id hate to loose a friend.
3. i just dont know
any advise?
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I’d advise you to speak to a psychologist or counsellor about the problems you’ve had in relationships so far. Otherwise you might find yourself repeating past patterns in this potential new relationship…
If you’re not emotionally ready for a relationship, then i think you should wait. But do something constructive while you’re waiting – like speak to someone and try to find the root cause of your relationship issues, or at least come up with some strategies to help you in future relationships (whether with this guy or someone else).
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Little lizzie, don’t say no to a guy who wants to take you out (unless he is a creep which obviously is not the case here!) Going on one date can’t hurt anything… just know your boundaries.
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thanks Alley cat,
i think I’ll give it a go. it helps when people say that its ok to try even if your not sure and especially when its comming from wonderful people like you who probably have more people experience than me, especially seeing i Still havent talked even to my bestie about it, i supposed thats why here is good.
thanks again and love
Lizzie
xo
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Good luck and let us know!!
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Does anyone know where I could find white cowboy boots? Preferably flat or low-heeled, and feminine-looking…
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1986? Sorry, they were very big back then. With fringing, and jeans tucked in.
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Haha! Maybe i should just keep an eye on ebay then…!
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Bahahaha…I’m warming up the Delorean as I type this!
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I’ve got a 1.21 gigawatts tshirt! 1.21 GIGAWATTS!
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Are you in Sydney or Melbourne? There’s a great shop on King St Newton in Sydney and there’s a shop on Chapel St Windsor in Melbourne which specialises in cowboy boots… also try RetroStar in the city in Melbourne?
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I’m in Sydney. That’s great, thank you!!
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That’s hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing! It sounds exactly like my life…
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Hi Em, there’s 2 of us here you know, or possibly 3!
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I am actually annoyed with BLOCH.
I was fitted for shoes there (not actually for ballet, casual ballet flats), and the shoes have now totally stretched out in less than 2 months. I have worn them a lot, but when I pay upwards of $150 for a pair of shoes, I expect a certain lifespan…
I went in today and all the lady said was she could sell me something else that may fix the problem. No sympathy, nothing. So cold. In short, never buying there again. So over crap customer service, especially when I feel that when I worked at DJs in customer service I really bent over backwards to try and accommodate customers and make them feel valued.
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I have a mental list of things I call “Signs I Am Getting Old” under this list is: watching the weather report (who cared about the weather when they were a kid?), reading the obits and conciously avoiding shops where I have had bad service. I never cared when I was young, I just wanted the product I was buying, that’s it. Now I am a grudge carrying old granny at 25. I think part of growing up is realising your dollar is important and people (shops, services, whatever) need to earn it from you. I shop at DJs over Myer where I can because I get better service. I want value for money, I know a $10 fast fashion item from Supre will fall apart soon but that’s ok, but when unnamed former favourite middle-end fashion chains (more than one have dropped massively in quality) are trying sell me a $150 cardigan of cheap made in china crap they lose me. My mum recently had a 1970′s Swaravoski crystal animal repaired by them for free. That’s service. Vote with your wallet.
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My sentiments exactly. Vote with your wallet. I’m a grudge holding granny too.
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I always buy from DJs – having worked there, I know they are a great place to shop (at least in Sydney city/chatswood), plus they ALWAYS refund if you have the receipt. Gold.
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I wish that I could avoid stores with poor service – but I find that as a young consumer (18) there are only a handful of stores that give me great service. I think lots of stores don’t take me seriously – I’m young, obviously I can’t be in there to buy anything. It’s so frustrating!!
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totally get you Apples – I’m 20 and JUST starting to feel a lil respect from shop assistants… even then it’s mostly when I’m with my mum..
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Yep, it takes time to get respect. When I was a teen I went with my friend to Myer to buy a perfume that cost over $90. She paid with a $100.00 note from her casual job. The woman nastily handed back her change with the comment “there’s your lunch money dear” as if the 100 was the only money she had. Riiight. When I was waitressing at uni a middle aged man commented on my D&G glasses (not expensive actually, but that doesn’t matter) and asked how ‘a waitress’ could afford such things. Ummm well I’m at uni, on a parental allowance, with scholarship money plus casual wages from an award wage job on a weekend shift, plus a bit of centrelink and college res fees paid for me. I bet I had more disposable income that him, who probably had a mortgage and 3 kids and a million bills. I have WAY less money now that I work and my parents and the govt don’t support me anymore. I deserved more sales assistant attention when I was younger! Why don’t some stores realise that typically as your income rises so too does your obligations. My 15 year old cousin buys more stuff than I can.
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(Disclaimer – I am a total nanna about things like this.) I wouldn’t leave it there with Bloch. Find head office, ring their customer service or marketing or pr or whatever department you can find a number for, write a letter to the CEO (your letter will actually go to the CEO, even if it isn’t he/she who responds to it), threaten going to the ACCC, etc etc. Jump up and down hard. I do this often when I don’t get what I’ve paid for (largely to counteract my feelings of helplessness in other areas of my life, I suspect) and 80% of the time, it gets resolved.
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Sorry for the brain fart down below. Just having a REALLY bad day. Love to all xxx
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All things considered, i think you’re allowed a brain- fart every now and then.
just so long as you remeber that there are hundered of MMers that absolutly love you and would take away your pain in an instant given the chance.
love always
Lizzie
xx
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I am so hopelessly romantic it’s actually pathetic. I’ve been with my boyfriend for all of 9 months and I want to move in with him just so that I don’t have to sleep alone and I can see him every day. I also just want to get pregnant. Every time I see a baby I feel as though my uterus is twitching and it makes me want to jump my boyfriend’s bones ASAP and beg him to impregnate me! Did I mention I’m only 20?
And I feel a little ashamed that I want domestic bliss so badly when I’m doing a uni degree that I love and heading for a demanding job that I’m sure I’m going to love as well.
I’m scared that I want to rush through this part of my life too quickly, sprinting for that white picket fence as fast as I can and that I’ll miss other experiences.
Any other younguns feel this way?
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I think alot of people feel that way in the first few years together. Move in and let the novelty mellow a bit. Then you’ll be itching for adventure and what ever else life throws your way.
If you really do want a baby young may aswell get uni done first, so if you do have some time out you will have something behind you for when you do want to work again.
Good luck and enjoy this wanting to be together always stage as it is beautiful and inevitably weas off.
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Yes… 21. Although I dont mind sleeping alone and would probably want a separate bedroom or at least a study – some place I could go to work that is mine, I would love to move back in with my boyfriend (we used to live in the same house, this time just us).
At the moment a lot of my younger read religious-fanatic (ex)friends are getting engaged and married, which freaks me out. My “plan” (not set in stone) is to be married before 30 (around 25-7?), kids after 30… I have been with the current boy for almost two years and am extremely conscious that he has taken up 2 of the years I have to find a man. I know this is ridiculous, and anyway i would freak out if he proposed at this stage anyway.
So I have been putting him through a lot of tests to see if he is serious bla bla bla without telling him. Games. I know. So bad. It’s just I’m concerned about getting too attached. He is not my first boyfriend or anything – I have an idea of things I definitely don’t want in a guy. But we went away last weekend and talked seriously, and have established that even though neither of us ready to actually get married and won’t be for a few years, we are both very committed to the relationship and see marriage as a future direction. We are such a good match, he is my best friend, the best friend I have ever had.
I also want babies. Am also doing a degree that I like and know I will be good at my job when I’m finished.
I feel like a grandmother at the moment – seriously! With my 2 jobs I cant justify spending $100+ on alcohol and taxis, so I feel so boring – we are supposed to be young and carefree… wtf happened?!!
PS sorry about the length – good to get this out!!
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Nothing wrong with wanting to have a baby, it’s a biological urge you can’t always control IMO. Wanting and doing are two different things, you can want one and still be sensible about it which I am sure you are.
When I was young I thought I was going to be career focussed and enjoy life and have a baby as late as possible, maybe mid 30s. In a perfect world. Then some sort of biological *thing* kicked in when I was 17 and almost overnight I wanted a baby. I was cooing at babies in the street in my school uniform. I still coo at babies in the street (creepy cooing lady). I am 25 with no baby on the horizon. My last relationship was a uni one that went too long. From now I want someone serious about a future, like a family in a reasonable timeframe. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want young.
Maybe the feeling will pass, maybe it’s just a first-time domestic bliss thing that will wear off but don’t fight the feeling, just stay sensible, finishing your degree is important in the very least, and see what happens. You don’t HAVE to have the cliched media friendly young persons life of several relationships, living oseas maybe, going travelling, moving around, having various jobs and then eventually settling down. It’s a myth, largely perpetuated by the media, that everyone young one acts the same. Some people live like that sure, it’s fun and great, but I know plenty of people who met their partner at uni or not long after and by the end of their 20s were settled with kids. You just don’t read about them because they’re not ‘interesting’. Don’t rush into anything but be open to the idea of your life plan changing. : )
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Oh wow, tell me more about your uni relationship that went on too long?
I was worried mine might be the same, although as i wrote above I feel a bit better knowing we are basically heading towards the same place. Also knowing how important fidelity is to him, and also always communicating when we are unsure/annoyed/whatever, hopefully it will not go on for too long…?
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Can’t keep this short but I’ll try! It went on too long because he was too immature basically and we weren’t headed in the right direction and also I was
‘ahead’ of him in terms of ‘life experience’ things he wanted to do, I know life isn’t a race or a checklist but he had things he wanted to do, and I had done them already. I went travelling after school for a year and for 2 months during one summer break. He had never travelled except on short holidays. He was my only ‘serious’ long relationship but I had had flings and dated around. If my next relationship is my last I wont feel I’ve missed out on anything dating wise. He still wanted to sow his wild oats, I was his first serious gf and he had only slept with a couple of people and that wasn’t enough for him. First chance he got he cheated on me, which is what ended it but it was in the cards before that.
It went on too long because when we went out at uni because we got on, liked each other too much to just be ‘friends with benefits’ had common interests and stuff like having hugely opposing views on some things didn’t matter when your just at uni. It was nice to have someone to do things with that you cared about. But when youve graduated and your working and he’s still finishing (longer degree) and coming home smashed at 5am on a work night it doesn’t gell. And things like having very different views on raising kids (never talked about it seriously, but stuff comes up over time). He totally disapproved of how I had been raised. I don’t like his family. We once had a HUGE argument about whether some social identity (ex-footballer with 4 kids) was out partying too much as he was always in the social pages. I figured he went out after the kids were in bed and parents still deserved a life, if you could afford the overnight babysitter why not. He believed you gave up everything once you had kids, your life was over. That stuff doesn’t matter when your at uni and having fun. It does start to matter when you realise you at 24 and having an argument in the street about how a d-list celebrity raises their kids. I know many couples who are opposites that have a good relationships but for me our family, political and social views didn’t mesh. Also, he wanted to eventually live country, I want to live urban. This stuff begins to matter eventually. I knew all of this once uni ended but we still had fun together so I just let it go on about a year more than it needed to. It should have ended with a friendly ‘we had fun but we are very different people’ kind of way, instead because it went on too long we didn’t part friends sadly.
If you are heading towards the same place then that’s a great start, because we were heading very different places.
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Thanks for taking the time
I am stuck because I feel like this could go on and be amazing, but don’t want to waste too much time on it if it isn’t. The longer you go on for, the harder it is, too.
I think what happens when he graduates will be the most important thing now, neither of us is really keen on long distance, and we both have european passports, so there is a potential for an extreme amount of distance. But I feel reassured, because I think we are both different and similar enough, at least for the moment
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Wow I can really relate to all comments on this topic. I’m still early 20′s but so ready to start having babies which freaks out my friends A LOT! I’ve always loved children and want to be a young mum but 24 is still considered really young to have a baby these days. Most of my friends don’t understand it and they still party hard on weekends when I couldn’t think of anything worse!
I definitely think you need to finish Uni first though and then see where you’re at. You’re still really young and have the whole world to explore! Good luck!!
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Going to jump on here and admit it… I can completely relate to these comments. I have always loved kids and am really looking forward to starting a family one day- when I’m a bit older! I know my girlfriend would look so beautiful with a pregnant belly!
Ha, I can wait though. I spend most days with kids through my job as a teacher’s aid anyhow!
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Hey Just A Guy can you answer a question for me: is a Teacher’s Aid someone who assists the Teacher in the classroom with a child that has special needs?
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Sure is. There’s lots of different terms out there, but this is the one I use most often because people seem to understand it properly. I work with socially disadvantaged kids with emotional issues, blind kids and deaf kids. It’s a part time job I have whilst I study. It may not be my career, but I love it.
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Yep – I’m 21. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 18months, we know own a home together. We’ve just bought a kitten. I’m at uni completing a degree, but I’m so ready for marriage and kids. Actually no, I’m not ready. I just wish I could fast forward to the time when I am ready for it. So I can have a happy family. Maybe it’s because I don’t speak to my own family???
I think I (and maybe you too) need to be patient, enjoy what we’ve got now – because from the sounds of lots of other MMers comments, once we have kids, our own lives go out the window! And once you live with your partner there are no more indulgent nights at home doing whatever you want to do (eating chocolate whilst watching bad tv with a face mask on!) x
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Honey I’m now a 39yo house-mum with 4 kids. I remember at uni we had a very informal tutorial one day and the question was what we wanted to do once we graduated, what were our grand plans. I said I wanted to be a housewife. Needless to say everyone was shocked.
Anway, I graduated and worked in my field for 10 years but always held the dream of the domestic stuff. And now I’m there I love it.
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Thank you all so much for your responses! Gosh I feel quite chuffed
I’ve been thinking a bit more about it and I think part of my feelings are probably just excitement about the novelty of being in my first serious adult relationship now that I’m at uni and living out of home.
Jojo I completely relate to what you say, that you’re not ready, but you want to fast forward to the time when you are ready. In my gap year I worked as a nanny for the most incredible woman, she’s my role model in every way. She’s balances working as a GP part time with being an amazing mum to her two beautiful kids and wife to her lovely husband and maintaining a gorgeous home. That’s where I want to be right now!
Lu, more than anything my dream is to be a mum. That’s what I want more than anything!! And I’m not going to be ashamed of it
MBee, Rosebud and Apples, I’m glad you feel the same, I get so concerned hanging around my friends who can’t even fathom having kids.
Just A Guy – Awesome. Great to know! You sound delightful and your gf is very lucky
I know that I definitely want to finish uni before I get married or have kids, I know doctors who have done it all during med school and hats off to them, but I definitely want to wait. I’m so glad though that you all think it’s okay for me to be feeling this way now! Thanks again! xxx
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Omg are we the same person?! I feel exactly the same way so much of the time.
I think it might be something to do with the fact that we’re in the prime reproducing time maybe.
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feeling confessional…the support coming out in this thread is wonderful, so I feel the need to unburden stuff I have problems admitting to myself, let alone discussing with friends…
1. I am desperately lonely. I have somehow ended up 37, alone, in a job I stated I wanted to get out of before I found myself here for 10yrs..12yrs ago. I’ve never had a relationship.
2. I missed buying a home before the boom, because I was travelling. housing prices more than doubled by the time I got back, and I now have no hope of affording anything by myself. consequently it’s all I can think about.
3. My parents have live/d full, interesting lives, when I think about people I have known, they are the most interesting/brave in their life choices. In comparison, I am a scared, boring worm..too scared to take on life.
4. I hate my brother talking my pensioner mother into lending him thousands (again), that I know he will never pay back, but which my mother continues to hold out hope that he will. But I feel I’m no better because I’ve ‘housesat’ her home for yrs without rent, in return for maintenance and minor renovations.
5. I can see a time coming when I will need to care for my mother, which I fully accept (I couldn’t bear not to). I will have to move overseas, where I know noone to do so.
6. I worry about who will care for me. I wouldn’t know how to have a relationship, even if it was on offer.
7. I need a hug, but don’t have anyone to give it to me, and I worry that all I can see is a long, lonely, boring, empty life ahead of me… that I’m done, before I’m halfway through…
I will get through this, just needed to vent.
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Anon for this one, it sounds like you need to shake things up a bit. Maybe if you can think of just one thing new (it doesn’t have to be big) to try this week that will make you feel a bit more in control.
Anon for this one that sounds like you are going through a really tough time.
I also think that you sound like you really need to talk this stuff out with someone. I’ve had depression before and felt desperately lonely. Having a good physchologist on your side is invaluable. If they’re good they’ll give you some tools and strategies to help you turn your life around!
As a short term fix to the loneliness – can you think of a sporting team you could join or is there a course you would like to enrol in? That might at least open up some new possibilities to you.
Have faith – you can change things for you! You deserve more than feeling that your life is boring and empty.
All the best. xx
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I know this is not the answer for everyone….and there are horror stories that abound….but maybe try RSVP or a similar on line dating site? And as an alternative to a counsellor, maybe a life coach? Or anyone who can sit down and help you find some magic things to do for yourself and get out of the obsessive thinking about what you haven’t done into thinking about what you’re doing and planning to do. I know it sounds easier said than done but…37 is still really young, you’ve got plenty of time. A friend of mine was single at 37 and by 41 was happily married with 2 children under 2!
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I’ve been you- the one on the road of lonelyness stretching out ahead and no vision on how to get off it.
By letting it off your chest I hope you feel a lightening of your burden.
To get off my Island I had to force myself and I mean force myself to try new things, give people a chance I wouldn’t normally and do things for other people. If your making someones elses life better you do feel better about yourself and life.
I think it is time you got out of your boring job- what have you got to lose?
And as for being 37 and single? married women often feel lonely and trapped into a life they wouldn’t chose. You have your freedom and a mirriad of choices- no mortgage, no kids and all the options in the world.
I really wish you best of luck finding your path, and I’ll send you a virtual hug. when I was lonely I got a dog- they give plenty of love and much lower maintenence then a man.
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I think we all have moments where we feel a bit helpless, lonely, lacking direction & missing that pizzazz for life. I agree with the above post, try and make at least 1 change this week from your usual routine, take a gym class or a cooking class at your local community centre. I took one last year and met some great people who I’ve become friends with. I was putting myself way out of my comfort zone to do this, but I’m so glad I did. It has increased my confidence in social situations immensely & I now have a small network of friends. Talking to someone about how you’re feeling I think will really help you. I also think seeking some support from mamamia is a great start!
I hear you when you say about missing out on a housing opportunity. I was also travelling during the boom and felt like for a while I would never live the ‘great aussie dream’. I decided to make an active choice to change my perspective on all that though and came to the realisation that bricks & mortar won’t bring me happiness, in fact I could happily rent for the rest of my life if it means I’m not tied down to a mortgage & living my life doing things I enjoy such as travelling, going to concerts, theatre etc… I value experiences much more as that is what makes me happy. Spend some time thinking about what your dreams are and start making goals to follow them. You won’t look back I’m sure. Big hugs!!
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I am currently obsessed with making tissue paper pom poms. I started a few weeks ago, making them each night so that I could decorate the house with them for one of the girl’s birthday parties which we had on the weekend. They are so goregous and make everyone smile!
Now I keep making them in all different colours and sizes and attaching them to other people’s presents and giving them to friend’s kids to hang in their rooms.
If I don’t stop soon, I will become known as the crazy-tissue-paper-pom-pom-lady… help!
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I’m going to make some for my wedding – I love them! What are your tips?
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Oh yes, beautiful for a wedding! I wish I had known about them when I got married!
My tips:
Cut the edges round rather than pointy – a much softer look.
Use floral wire.
The more layers you can use, the fluffier the result (use 10 if you can).
Really press down hard as you fold the fan, it makes the final result much more textured.
Be so so gentle as you fluff all the layers out! The tissue paper is so delicate and tears easily. My first few were a diaster but then I developed some good ‘fluffing techniques’!
Give yourself plenty of time (weeks!) Once you get the hang of it, they are easy, but time-consuming.
Make sure you have somewhere spacious to store them!
Happy fluffing MissNeriss!
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Thanks!!! Can’t wait to get cracking X
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Love pom poms- now I’m inspired for my daughters birthday party!
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I just want to shout from the rooftops that I’ve just had such a lovely, cuddly, giggly day with my 7 month old! This is such a big deal for me cos he has never been an ‘easy baby’ (does such a creature actually exist?!?) and my days are often filled with screaming and whinging (him and me!) When people ask the leading question “are you loving motherhood?”, I’ve had trouble answering because although I love my little boy more than anything, I’ve found parenting a bit tough at times. But today has given me a new lease on life! Yay!
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What a lovely post to read! You’re right, parenting is tough at times but those days make it all worthwhile don’t they?! Here’s to more of them for you both.
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Thank you! The glow from my day helped a little with the 2 hour wakenings that night!
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Thank you! The glow from my day helped a little with the 2 hourly wakenings that night!
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I used to take my oldest to the local shopping centre…she was so cute to look at and I always had people come up and tell me…it was my way of reminding myself that the child who refused to sleep and screamed like a banshee when she woke up, was actually a gorgeous little girl.
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Great idea! He’s good at flashing gorgeous smiles at the ladies (starting early!) so I get lots of comments too.
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Haha! Sounds like my brother and his mini-me son! I always got the attention with my white curls (as did/does mini-me niece – lucky little bugger’s curls have gone though), but my brother was the one who was “oooohhh soooo cuute”. Little bastard though. I still call him that, and we are 35 and 33 now! LOL
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I think you just gave yourself the perfect answer to “are you loving motherhood?”…. “I’m loving my son”.
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Thanks Jenni. You’re absolutely right… and I can remind myself of that too!
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I have been having such a terrible time at school of late. Our Vice Principal asked me for the truth about something, and I told him. But now two of my very close friends are truly angry at me, ignoring me, or just mouthing “F*ck you!” to me in class. Right.
It’s just upsetting because in this situation, I have done literally NOTHING wrong, in fact, they are to blame. They had been asking me to lie for a long time, and I was fine with that, but I’m not going to lie to our Vice Principal, who I deeply respect. Anyone want to share a tidbit of advice? I’m feeling a bit frazzled.. emotionally exhausted.. over it
(Ps, sweet idea Mia! I don’t know if what I’m writing belongs here, but I would adore someone to help me out.)
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You did the right thing hun. Those girls are just doing what teenage girls do best- being bitchy!! They’ll probably get over it soon, and if they don’t then you’re probably better off without them.
In the mean time, be confident that you did the right thing and hang out with some other people. *hugs* xoxo
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Maybe confront them, Fiona? They know you did the right thing, maybe not by them for whatever they were asking you to lie about, but it can’t have been too good if it needs to be lied about in the first place.
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It’s a really big burden, being asked to lie for someone else when you’ve done nothing wrong. If they were really your friends, they wouldn’t have behaved like this. YOU did the right thing and YOU can hold your head high.
But *sigh* that doesn’t make the death stares any easier to handle does it? They are really showing their true colours. I would retreat if you can into the safety of your other friends. Ignore them, don’t try to make it up or apologise or anything like that. Keep hold of the knowledge that they are the ones who need to change, not you.
And if all else fails, there’s less than 18 school weeks of your life left to go and then you NEVER have to see them again
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Just be confident in the fact that you did the right thing and then whatever they do or say can’t hurt you. You have learnt a life lesson early – if someone asks you to go against what you feel is right, then they are not being a true friend to you. I wish had known that when I was at school. I spent a lot of time caring whether others liked me and as an adult realise I should have been asking myself whether I really liked and respected them. It would have saved a lot of “teenage angst”! S xx
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Thanks!! There’s something about knowing that somebody out there cares, that is so wonderful. Thank you for your advice.
It’s just so unfortunate because one of the girls I have been friends with since I was 3.. Which is a large portion of my 17 years of life. And I can’t lose her. I’d do anything for her.. Which is why this is so upsetting. But I talked to the other girl today, and she seems a lot better about it. Saying how I lost her trust, but she’s better with me now (I’m not even going to get started on the whole “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG” thing, I’m just letting them work it out for themselves for now..)
If anyone watches Friends, the situation was pretty much when Chandler and Monica first got together.. But I was Joey. But it was crazy. Ahhhhhhhhhhh being a teenager is so exhausting.
On the plus side, ey.. exactly 77 days of school left!
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Oooh, not that you’re counting, though? You sound a bit like I was at the end of High School – AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! I was all set to change schools, but didn’t.
I like you even more, you’re 17 and can quote Friends!
If it was like Joey knowing about Monica (always my favourite – she’s definitely a Virgo) and Chandler (my other favourite too) why did your Vice Principal need to know about it?
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What is the etiquette on winter hats indoors? I wouldnt dream of wearing a hat at a dinner table but do the same rules apply with beret style ones?
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I think you can wear a beret indoors. They are gorgeous and stylish. And women tend to get hat hair more than men, men can take a hat off and often just run a hand through their hair and be fine. I take a beret off and it’s a trip to the bathroom for 15mins to fix my hair. And then another one later to put it back on right, I can’t just casually throw one and waltz out like in the movies : (
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Thanks Apples. Glad other people feel the same way cos I just cant handle taking them off and everyone seeing my hat hair!!
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I want to punch people who I see wearing hats indoors. That guy off masterchef last year made me twitch with anger every time I saw him.
A beret is different, I see it as more hair wear than a hat.
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Hi,
I just wanted to talk about anxiety. I’m not sure if I have it or not, I think i might. I read an article about it in a magazine, and ever since I read it, I keep thinking about the ‘symptom’s of anxiety, and I feel by reading it I have made myself more anxious because now I imagine I have all of these ‘symptoms.’ If that makes sense.
One of the ‘symptoms’ of anxiety it says was the pre-occupation with it, and how you kept thinking about it. So I try not to think about it, but then I do. If that makes sense.
I feel overwhelmed sometimes, and I get anxious about little things.
Anyway, any thoughts on this by people who do have anxiety would help. Ps. I have been to a therapist before, but she never said I have anxiety, but that was a couple of years ago.
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Anxiety is horrendous. Try and find a mental health friendly GP who can guide you in the right direction with regards to a clinical diagnosis and potential treatment.
If it is anxiety that you are suffering know that it is very treatable and people do recover.
All the very best to you xo
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OMG! I have been anxiously obsessing about that same article!!! I literally could have written your post. After reading the article on Sunday I have made a conscious decision to be more ‘relaxed’ about things like tidiness (Mr 6 and Mr 2 don’t make that easy – actually either does Mr 40). Have also decided to stop beating myself up over things not being absolutely perfect at work and so on. You know, I was talking to Mum about it and she pointed out the good things about being anxious and having perfectionist-ic tendencies – like the fact one cares a lot and that one has a strong work ethic (she does tend to talk like that!). I also think that if you’re aware of it, that’s half the battle in stopping it taking over your life. xxx
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Yeah it was that article in Sunday. How funny we thought the same thing ay!
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Find a GP who you ‘click’ with and bring this out into the open. By trying not to think about it, you end up actually thinking about it more & more and that can end up feeling like it’s overwhelming you. A sympathetic doctor will help and provide you will some avenues to explore. Please don’t worry about how it looks or what other people think, the doctor won’t be thinking of anything like that, I promise. Good luck.
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Hey Livv,
Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time.
I would suggest reading some further material on anxiety for starters, because you’ll know for sure the more you read whether what they’re talking about strikes home for you, particularly when they are different manifestations of anxiety e.g. generalized disorder, chronic disorder, panic disorder, random panic attacks etc.
Here is a good general summary of symptoms:
http://helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_types_symptoms_treatment.htm
There are some other similar sites if you’re up for a bit of web surfing.
Other suggestions about seeing a GP are great too, but honestly in my experience GPs are not very well conditioned to dealing with anxiety – on one hand fair enough, because at no stage will an anxiety disorder ever actually threaten your life (although it may disrupt it severely) and that is essentially their job, however if you have access to any free counselling or even if you want just make one appointment, that will also give you a good idea.
No matter what though, all the best, if you do discover you have debilitating anxious symptoms in whatever form know that you absolutely can recover from & manage them and I wish all the best in doing so!
x
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thank you that makes me feel better.
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About a year ago I hurt my left knee badly, and ended up with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I didn’t know what I was going through and things didn’t make sense until I saw this.
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=90.614
It was hard to ignore when I ticked almost all of the boxes. Then I went to see my awesome GP, and started seeing a therapist.
My advice is don’t put it off. Go and see someone who can help you.
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I wonder why in every other business it’s ok to keep customers waiting from 5 mins to half an hour. But in a restuarant people now think that their meal should be on the table in under 10 mins. It’s not fast food people it has to be cooked please be kind!
That is all i have had a very very very traumatic week in the hostility industry.
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I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!
People always complain about how long it takes. I actually, I kid you not, had a couple and Mum in for Mothers Day a few years back, and the place was chocka-block full of people, wall to wall. Kids running around like hounds, people chattering. The place was buzzing. They had the audacity to say to me “Why are our meals taking so long?” I looked at them and said, very slowly, “It. Is. Mothers. Day” I felt like adding “you imbeciles”
You would be suprised how many people actually asked the staff why the meals were taking so long. It boggles the mind sometimes.
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Ha the place i work at seats 45 we had 92 through one night with 3 chefs and one kitchen hand. Funny it’s almost always the couples who have nothing left to say to each other so spend their night at dinner looking at the kitchen and giving the waitress the evil eye….. here’s a thought talk to each other and stop breaking my balls
xxxxxxx
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Oh man I would be a shocking waitress. Zero tolerance for idiots. At least its kind of expected that chefs are a bit crazy – we can get away with being snappy.
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Oh yeah, been there. The pub I used to work at is the homebase pub for the dykes on bikes. We had the buzzer system so people go to the kitchen to pick up their meals. The pub was packed for mardi gras, and you could see all the order dockets waiting to be made, and people would still come up and ask where their food was. “Yes, I understand you’re the most important person in the world, but I have 15 orders for the other most important people in the world before yours”. Bloody annoying! If you want Maccas style delivery, go to Maccas!
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OH MY GODDDD
I WAS SO ANGRY LAST WEEK when I was told “Hairdresser” would be with me in a second, and waited for 15 minutes without any updates. I decided if they left me waiting for 30 minutes, I was out of there (even though I REALLY needed a cut, and this guy is great with my hair)
I was taken to have my hair washed 28 minutes after I walked in. Luckily… it would have been embarrassing because my family goes there a lot…
But seriously what is wrong with letting people know there is a hold up – I could have just gone and got a coffee and all this anger and frustration could have been avoided!!!!
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Yeah Rosebud, I don’t get that either. If there is a problem, say what it is so people know why there is a holdup! I don’t understand just letting people get more and more pissed off and worried without any information about why there is a delay. Shittyrail are shockers for it.
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Or the Dr regularly keeps you waiting 30-45 mins with young kids!!! But if you run late just once (thought my appt was at 3.45pm but it was 3.30pm) after being a patient at the centre for over 8 years (since my first child was born) you are expected to wait until you can be squeezed in and that may mean waiting for the next 2-3 patients to finish!!! And this is NOT a bulk-billing medical centre!!
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Hostility industry! Love it.
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I spent soooo long in the hospitality industry through school, year oseas and uni. Has given me so many great stories, I don’t think other casual jobs throw up as interesting things, I look back with fondness given a few years distance from it. Can totally relate to the quick food demand.
My favourite comes from my first job, working over summer in a seaside holiday town. I was the runner for food and coffee in a bakery/cafe, a starting out position. You ordered and paid at the counter and took a table number. One day, a fancy pants Melbourne woman (yes I now live in Melbourne, I am indicating in our sleepy-in-winter town city tourists in summer didn’t quite understand things weren’t as slick down our way, our little kitchen couldn’t really cope with the summer trade, but it wasn’t worth having a big kitchen as the rest of the year was slow, and there wasn’t room for it anyway) stopped me and asked me where her food was, I checked, came back and said it was still a ways a way, we were very busy (look around woman) and she said “well it’s just bacon and eggs” my autopilot response was to blurt out “everyone’s is just bacon and eggs”. Que outrage. Thankfully, my bosses (a couple) were erm, shall we say, rather haphazard in how they ran their business (rude to customers, whatever) and just didn’t give a shit, when the woman came in to complain, the wife boss told the woman to ‘get out of my shop’ and refunded her money! To have the bosses in your corner on stuff like that was sometimes worth how insane they were.
On another occasion, same job, when asked where the rest of the food was for a party of six when I had carried the first 3 plates to them I blurted out “I only have two hands”. I never meant to be rude, I was just tired and on auto. I got another runner to bring them the rest of the food to avoid them. Apples, waitress extraordinaire.
Somehow I managed to get my mouth under control and go onto a semi-successful career in waitressing for the next few years. But I always stayed towards the low-end (pubs etc) as I knew I couldn’t match the high standards of white table cloth places! I learnt so much working in hospitality.
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I worked in a pub bistro when I was at uni. The main complaint was people who ordered their steak to be WELL DONE. And then 10 minutes after ordering ask why their meal was taking so long.
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So nice to not feel alone on this….some people are so lovely an then there are the rest. I have learned to keep my mouth shut but it still makes me a little crazy. Stay well ladies!!!
xxxx
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Lu, steaks were the bane of my existence when I was working at the pub. SO MANY PEOPLE order Medium rare when they actually mean medium to well done. I was pushing to get a poster (we had them in the navy kitchens, for us to learn from and for the punters) that show doneness of steaks. And then make people refer to it when they ordered. If you want your steak to resemble boot leather, that does take time!
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At one place I worked at we were trained and made to say to every customer that well done steaks would take up to 20mins or whatever, to stop the whining.
My fave steak story comes from a function with the 50/50 drop of chicken or steak. You don’t get a choice of the cooking style, it’s all medium rare. Never really had a problem with this, those who didnt like it swapped for chicken, it always worked out. Except. One time we had a trucking company function. The men all wanted well done and the head of the table handed back his steak with the comment, I kid you not, “love, get the chef to chuck em back on the grill this one’s still moo’n”. Awesome.
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Hehe I ASK for my steak still moo-in! I like it really rare – bleu.
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me too!!
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My parents tell a story of going out for dinner with some friends. One of them ordered brains. When he tried to eat them they were still raw. He sent them back telling the waitress ‘these brains are still thinking’….apparently the whole table nearly wet themselves laughing.
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Hi Mia! I just had a crazy idea. But I think it is so crazy, that it just might work!
This could become a weekly post, and then after a certain time, you choose a favourite post, something that interests you or inspires you, and blog about that topic.
Huh, huh? Just a random thought!
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Thats a really good idea!
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If it’s any consolation Mia, I used to work in a library where a nanny brought in her three charges and they were as good as gold. When they came in with Mum, they were misbehaving all over the place, so I’d say your theory is sound.
My current frustration is the bloggers who descended here last week, esp the one who ditched me from her online connections because I disagreed with her. Because we’re still in High School, apparently. It should be no shock there’s diva tantrums abounding!
My current joy is gorgeous autumn afternoons filled with sunlight where I get to sit in the grass and look at fungus and bugs, stroll with the dogs through the paddock and come back for a cold night under a blanket with my frog shaped hot water bottle. Bliss.
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Oh and another thing that just sprung to mind after washing my hair – shampoos and conditioners CANNOT strengthen your hair. Hair is dead thus the cream cannot work its way into your hair, and strengthen it from the inside.
It’s just not true. Ok? Great.
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I’m growing my hair. I’ve been using a straightening shampoo & conditioner. I have also had to straighten it most days!! My hair just hasn’t been shiny or healthy since so I bought the new L’Oreal Elvive Repair Shampoo & Conditioner and used it tonight for the first time and my hair feels wonderful!!!
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I have just started using it as well and I agree, my hair feels fantastic!
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I’ve been using it for ages and I love it too!
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Ok – so weird question – but do you know how much hair falling out whilst washing is normal? Is a bit of hair supposed to come out whilst you are washing it? I’m not talking huge clumps…
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Sure is, jojo. On average, people lose between 50-100 hairs per day. Washing your hair might just loosen the hairs that are already ready to fall out.
Sorry, I am 7 months pregnant at the mo, and due to the pregnancy hormones my hair IS NOT FALLING OUT. At all. Ever. It’s thick enough to start with, but I have lost count of the number of hairbands I have busted in the last few months. Of course, this means that after I have the baby there is 9 months worth of hair that will fall out within about 6 weeks. Charming.
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I would like to vent my frustration at myself. I never had any trouble in the past in being considered a worthy mate outside the institution of marriage but now that I have finally got ahead financially so that I could sensibly assume I have the capability to support more than myself, whether that is just a half share of any kids or whether it was a majority share of wife and kids, I am no closer to the goal.
How could it be easy to be considered a worthy mate outside the institution of marriage but struggle to be considered a worthy mate inside the institution of marriage, especially if there is the expectation of kids. I know that the women of today are not their Grandmothers and aren’t even their Mothers as so many have had opportunities that their Grandmothers barely dreamt of and their Mothers often didn’t share, but are the sacrifices of marriage and kids really worthy of second and third or more thoughts.
What does a modern man have to offer a modern woman to be worth the sacrifice, because love, respect, attentiveness, financial security, and status do not seem to be of much value and I am making a complete dill of myself assuming they might be a little more valued. I just don’t have the answers and I need help because I would truly like to inspire very positive thoughts in this area and be able to meet them.
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Hey Frustrated Chuck,
Can’t quite grasp what you’re saying…but you sound a little confused and disillusioned about what is expected of you…I’m wondering who is placing those expectations on you?
Those things you list (love, respect etc) are definitely valued commodities, but this isn’t a competition. The “best” man rarely wins. Usually its those who don’t tick ALL the boxes but tick the RIGHT boxes for the lady in question.
You’ve got to feel good about yourself first – not your accomplishments, or your ability to be “considered a worthy mate”. If you like you, others will like you too.
Chin up, hope tomorrow you can be Slightly More At Ease Chuck.
Sparky
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I’ve been waiting for another ‘where is the love’ post… but screw it.
I saw this the other day while coming home from work the LLLOOOOONNNNG way. My car was at the mechanics and instead of taking me 15 mintues to get home it took me 1 1/2 hrs using public transport.
Anyhow on my last bus trip of the day a woman who was vision impaired (I know this cause she had a cane and glasses, but must’ve been able to make out that I was there)came up to me and asked if I had seen the 334 bus. I said no, that I was waiting for one just after her’s. We continued polite conversation for the rest of the wait (Don’t the buses suck etc etc)
It was starting to get dark, and I could hear that she was anxious about getting to her bus, so I offered if hers came first I would walk her to her bus.
Mine however pulled in JUST before her’s. Like 10 seconds before. I felt so bad. I offered to wait for her to get on her bus, but she wouldn’t have it.
Then this boy (I’m guessing about 15, he was in a local school uniform) turned to us and said “I’m catching the 334, I’ll take you to it” I quickly jump on my bus and as they walk past the still open back doors I see them walking past my bus, her holding his arm and him guiding her carefully to their bus, and I hear him say to her “My name is Steven, what is yours?”.
It brought a little smile to my face.
To see a teenage boy, obviously confident in himself to help someone, and so carefully and to be so friendly. It blew me away.
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Oh My! I’m sorry Mia, but that was hysterical! I’m sure it was horrific, but the way you relate it makes it so funny.
I took great pleasure at the weekend in putting a miserable old witch in her place. She was trying to tell myself and the OH off for not talking Dutch at home (everyone in Holland thinks they know what everyone should and should not be doing, all with a condescending finger-wag), so I politely told her that I work hard all week (ahem, at work now…) and I do not wish to work at home, and talking Dutch is very hard work for me. Shut her right up and hopefully she’ll think twice about offering an unsolicited opinion again. But then, probably not…
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I love open posts. Just pure pleasure of reading about the blogger herself. No politics or point. More please!
I wanted to say that am having trouble getting on this blog and posting, it takes a long time. Is it my PC or escalated traffic?? Got a database error just now so writing my comment all over.
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I get computer problems sometimes with blogs, I have a basic laptop and average internet service. Some popular/contentious posts won’t load for me, and others have said the same (Hey Dad post, Gainers). Also what happens for me is I get an error that can be fixed by clearing my cookies and internet history, my computer is too full to take on new data or something? I lose my comment too. Maybe try clearing your cookies? Also google the error it will tell you what causes it : )
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One of my closest friends sent me an email telling me she was unhappy with one of the photo’s I put on of her and me on Facebook on Sunday. It was taken at our joint 30th and we were all pretty tipsy, and she said she looks very fat and she would never put one of me up like that. I promptly removed it and sent a message saying sorry and she accepted my apology and said she might have over-reacted a bit, but Im still very upset that she would think I delibrately put one up to make her look bad, whcih she implied in her message. We have known each other since the first day of high school. Im never posting any more photo’s on FB again, in fact I would like to close my account ATM….:(
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i just saw something in the paper about a campaign to shut down facebook accounts because of that girl that got killed and also user privacy issues… but the 31st of this month. now is your chance
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I had a similar thing happen to me; one of my friends posted a bunch of photos from a night out and there was one that was simply awful. I’m talking triple chin, huge tummy, even my spanx on display!! When I asked her about it, she told me that she just uploaded the lot, not even screening the pics first, so I asked her to take it down. There were lots of other stupid pictures of me from that night, but just that one made me feel awful about myself.
I think your friend possibly did over-react and in hindsight realised that, but it’s difficult to be rational about these things when potentially more than 100 million people (depending on your settings), or even just 250 of your closest friends
can see you at what you think is your worst.
You’re a great friend for immediately taking it down, I’ve been too embarrassed to go back and check if my friend took the offending picture of me down… *shudders*
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That happened to my friend.. she was horrified when a really tipsy pic of her was uploaded from a night out on ther turps.. not pretty!
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I’m not into Facebook but my sister (who is very into it) posted some pictures once of her and I when I was about 14 weeks pregnant with my second bub. I hadn’t had the chance to tell some people but they saw my bump on her Facebook page and I didn’t get to share my new myself. I know she didn’t do it with any mean intent, but it did annoy me.
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I am really critical of pictures of myself, but if anything really terrible pops up on fb i just untag myself and get over it. My fb issue of the day is that my father in law has just got an account and added me, so i spent quite a while today untagging myself from any photos where i looked remotely tipsy, as well as getting rid of those terrible spam posts that end up on your wall that ask questions like “do you think … is a virgin?” “is hot” etc… I just know that he wouldn’t understand that i didn’t put it up there and that could make for some interesting dinner conversation when we visit them next!
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You can restrict your privacy settings so that your FIL can only view selected parts of your profile.
I learnt this from some very helpful Mamamia peoples after I was having some problems with a gossipy family member (on FB- who I hardly ever see) telling another family member (not on FB- who I regularly see) about EVERYTHING I posted- til it got to a point where whenever I caught up with the non-FB family member, she already knew about things, as FB family member had already reported them to her (often getting it wrong since a status update doesn’t give the whole context of a situation) which got incredibly frustrating!!
I “censored” FB family member’s viewing so that she cant view my wall or my status updates any longer, and I haven’t heard of any ‘reports’ since!!
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i just sent a msg to my ‘long lost cousin’ that I’m on fb with but have never ‘spoken’ to or contacted personally, to ask her if I could put up pics of her and I as children…didn’t want to offend her.
I’ve also blocked people from seeing ‘tagged’ pics of me on my sight, don’t need them to see things I may not be happy with.
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We have a problem in our house. My husband and I barely talk anymore because we’re always online. I shit you not, we converse more on Skype when he’s at work, we’ll spend all day doing that, and then when he comes home we barely say a word to each other.
That’s bad, right?
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No, coz you still communicate, its the modern world after all! xx
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Sorry Mel, but I think so. We have so many ways to chat but imho nothing replaces face to face (or body to body!) communication.
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Yeah, that’s what I think. I mean, we don’t really talk less than we normally do- but about the usual crap- kids, housework, bills. All the interesting conversations take place over Skype.
Hmmmmm…
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Mel get off the computer NOW!!!
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eeeep! *looks around startled*
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lol!
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Mel, there’s probably nothing left to say because you’ve caught up on everything throughout the day. Perhaps if you keep daily catch ups to short phone calls there will be more conversation in the evening.
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My fiancé and I do that too! We email each other all day at work, then spend the evenings on our laptops!
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Well it is consoling to know that it’s not just us…but still…what are we coming to? I always believed face to face was better- still do!!
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La Petite Chou – I would like to give you a big hug and let you know that we are all in your corner. xxOOOOOOO
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My Mum thinks I’m a deviant because I’m on FaceBook, have a Twitter account and I blog. And it’s not like I’m blogging about shooting methamphetamines into my eyeball or my favourite sexual positions for when I feel like a quick ‘un in the cinema. I blog about FOOD for christ’s sake….
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Oooh where’s your blog?
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Right here: http://therecipebinder.blogspot.com/ It’s only new so there’s not a lot of content right now.
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I wasn’t having dinner tonight as the OH is out. I’m now having pasta with the creamy mushroom sauce! Mmmmmm…. Thanks for sharing your blog with us and keep up the good work.
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Thanks – it’s always nice to hear that people like what I write.
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Thanks or the choc chip cookie recipe:) And Yay for a WA blog!
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You’re welcome!
Another WA food blog is: http://www.thefoodpornographer.com/
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my conundrum at the moment is about going back to work after having a baby – bubs is 5 months, I have until November to go back to a corporate career that I really don’t like, i’m good at it, and my boss wants me back, but I don’t think I want to do it anymore, it also means commuting 1hour a day to and from work. this means bubs is in childcare from 7am – 7pm x3 days a week.
i’m considering buying a small shop in the town where i live, it would mean doing things at my pace and being able to have bubs with me more often than not and being my own boss – but i’m scared. its an investment opportunity but also i’m scared of the failure. i know i’d be good at it though….
what do i do?
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Buy the shop if it’s going to be profitable long term (which i’ve no doubt it will be!) Your child’s wellbeing, health, etc is much better off being raised by you than childcare workers.
xx
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It’s comments like this that make me wish there was a thumbs down option. I’m sure you didn’t mean to offend but that comment just pissed this working mother off. Just because a child is in childcare does not mean it is “raised by childcare workers”. Rant over.
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Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind…I would consider waiting until around 12 months before you invest too much in something you could potentially reconsider…? What was it that Mia referred to in her book when she wanted to go start up a pregnancy magazine or baby magazine and leave her editing job because she was still in the baby haze?
Then again, if it feels right then the only disservice you would be doing is second guessing yourself. Good luck!
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Gah. Sorry, just re-read what I wrote. I didn’t mean to imply that because you have had a baby in the last 5 months you can’t make rational decisions. Now what I meant at all! I just mean…When there’s been a non normative shift in your life, like something big happening…That can trigger a decision to make another big change. But sometimes when we get some perspective a while after the first big shift in your life, we later on don’t really want to make such a huge change?
I think I’m just stating a convoluted way of saying ‘sleep on it’, and then decide.
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have slept on it – ie. have been thinking and planning to start my own business for 4 years! i know what you mean though…. I just don’t want to become a person who talks about their plans and never acts on them….
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This is so hard. I know just how you feel as I am in a similar position. Women get shafted so often by their workplace post baby that it is often easy to think ‘we should appreciate that they want us back’ and feel obliged to go back. Remind yourself that they only want you back because you are good. And if you are god at your job, you are probably going to be good at running a shop. Maybe talk to other women who have done the same thing and get another perspective (as shops must come with their own kind of stress).
For the record, I told my work that I would go to client meetings but do all the other work from home. I think I am the only one in my industry to have pulled something like this off but it is awesome as I spend all day with my baby plus do more focused work (when she naps or is playing on her own).
Good luck. It isn’t easy.
ps – maybe stall them for another 12 months to give you time as once you go back, it is so easy to get sucked in.
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Life is short, buy the shop.
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I wanna scream “Do it”!! Only becos I’m too afraid to do something so brave myself!! But as soon as I read it I thought “Do it…just do it”. Can you tell us what sort of a shop you want to open? Have you done any market research etc etc?
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childrenswear and homewares shop – everyone is probably screaming ‘not another baby shop!’ but I live in a town that has some ok childrenswear shops but no GREAT childrenswear shops and I have done SO much research and so many business courses and now just want to do it…. it’s not going to make life any easier financially for my husband and I in the short term, but the long term it hopefully will…. do i go back to the corporate career for the money only and less stress?
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If it’s want you really want and you have done everything possible in the lead up to starting your new business then do it d.bird. If you are financially able to do it then go for it! It’s all very well for me to say this but at least you will have gone for your dream! Me, I’ll probably still be trying to work out what it is I want to do! I know who I would rather be!!!
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Good luck with whichever you choose. Be aware of the old trap though, of thinking you will have more time and independence when you start your own shop – you may find out it’s going to take more time than you think!!
Maybe a good start is to talk to some people who have started their own businesses (of a similar nature to yours) and get an idea from them about what’s involved, and the time they put into it?
Best of luck.
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Agreed, having worked for several sole business owners if you haven’t already considered this please please note that is is VERY hard to get trustworthy, reliable and available staff. You often end up chained to your business, even in a small town where you can get away with closing unexpectadly with a ‘kids sick’ sign on the door. Going away on holiday becomes dependent on other people. Even when you are a good boss offering good working conditions with good pay, good people are hard to come by. They leave, their lives change, they get sick on your day off. That’s the good people. The bad people? Quit unexpectadly, steal from you, slack off, don’t uphold your standards.
If having control over your time is a motivating factor, I would investiage further and maybe re-consider. The sole business owners I’ve seen who were happy were people who were motivated by having control over their business and enjoying being in charge and making their own decisions. If having a childrens shop that is different and to your liking is a motivating factor, that’s a good start. People who start a business to have more time or control of their time are in for a rude shock!
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If you want to run your own business and live in NSW check out this website about the NEIS program
http://www.deewr.gov.au/Employment/JSA/EmploymentServices/Pages/NEIS.aspx
Go to a three week course, get a mentor (they are supplied), get help to do a business and financial plan to take to the bank manager AND get full Centrelink benefits while you start up your business for 12 months. Seriously, it’s one of the best government programs going. Get on board and hang on tight.
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Your baby will only be a baby for such a short time. Why kiss goodbye that time of your childs life to spend it at a job you hate ?
But on the flip side starting or buying your own business will be like having another baby. The buck stops with you. You dont know how stressed you can get until you own your own business. Maybe the timing of this isnt right with a new baby as well. Also remember, especially in a retail environment you will have to find staff you can trust completely with your money. Otherwise you will need to be around all the time. That wont be as easy as it sounds with a baby.
If you really need to work maybe the safe and known environment of your old job is the right place for you right now.
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It sounds like you’ve already decided. You’ve done the research, you can afford it, you don’t enjoy your corporate job. Do it!
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In no particular order here’s my current Top Ten musings:
1. I must be clearing some huge karmic shit right now but lemme tell you it shouldn’t have to include Centrelink, a Mental Health Team who put me on suicide watch or an earnest but hopeless mental health specialist who sympathises that moving to a refuge may be “a loss in status” for me. It’s not a loss in status that is upsetting me Doctor. It’s your fucking gob-smacking cruelty and insensitivity.
2. I would like to not be a mother for a while. I’ve been a mother for a long time. At times I have been a very good mother. But right now, I don’t want to be a mother to anyone, of any age, related to me or not.
3. I don’t want to see my father any more. This is particularly hard because it is expected that this is what all good daughters should do. I do not. Therefore I am not a good daughter.
4. I do not want to be a sister to my two sisters. I think their attitude that their grief is more well-earned than mine is sick-making, and disgraceful. They are not worthy of me.
5. I am making Pea Souffle tonight. My life is gong to hell in a handbasket but at least we will eat well to the last.
6. Insomnia. My dearest oldest friend. So nice to see you again. Now bugger off. Please.
7. I have been making pathetic attempts to clean the kitchen. I cleaned two cupboard doors then foofed up the pillows on my unmade bed. I thank Kerri Sackville from the bottom of my heart for helping me understand that this is normal behaviour, regardless of the other shit going down.
8. I need a hug. Actually I would like someone in my corner pretty much all the time. I would like someone to answer the phone. To make some decisions so I do not have to. Someone who could make me a cup of tea without asking me first. Someone who would pick up the towels and straighten up the rest of the bed. Someone who could help tell the world to bugger off. Most of all I would like them to stay awhile. A couple of decades perhaps.
9. I would like to be rich. I have no idea what that feels like. Really, what is it like? Could someone tell me? What is it like to be able to pay all your bills on time? To pay off your credit card every month? What is it like to go anywhere you want and be unencumbered? What is it like to go grocery shopping and not do a running total on your calculator so you don’t go over budget? What is it like to pay more than a hundred thousand dollars a year in tax? I’d really like to know.
10. I would like to sleep. I would like to sleep for a very long time. Six months of uninterrupted shut-eye should do it.
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for want of something better to offer:
(( Hugs ))
Sorry that life is causing you so much pain at the moment LPC. Hang in there, please.
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Hey LPC. Re number 9 – me too…they say money can’t buy you happiness…but it sure as hell would get rid of a few anxiety issues!! Love to you xxx
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LPC, for the past month or so I’ve been reading about what is happening for you in your life. I suppose I never really know what to say. I wish I could help you but I dont know how.
I hear what you have written, I read each word. Your heart is so sad at the moment… your number 8 stirred a deep something in me. I think I’ve been there too in my own heart.
Last week, I cried my eyes out (actually I think I cried them in they were so puffy). I let stuff boil to the surface and I just let it happen.
Afterwards I felt quiet, just really quiet (and dehydrated). The quietness was comforting and a little peaceful. I think I may having been shifting some stuff too. I hope you get the chance to release all that stuff you are holding onto.
May your pea souffle brings you a heart smile. x x
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just one more thing. A lovely person here told me once when I was very low, that your life can change in an instant.
If there’s nothing much else to hold onto, think of that.
HOPE x
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Dear friend,
You need to leave them all for a little while and clear your head & heart. Sadly all I can offer is a trip to Orange this weekend to freeze our tits off. leaving Friday morning, coming home Sunday arvo. I have to play wine making & tasting during the day, you can have the car. Wanna come along?
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Merryl… you are beautiful
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Thank you Amy, but she really is my friend
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Doesn’t make you any less pretty!
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Orange is magnificent this time of year. (it’s about an hour from home for me). If you go, enjoy xxx
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Whereabouts roughly are you Frankie? I spend a fair bit of time in Mudgee.
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about an hour from there too actually! can I pm you ?(I don’t know how though…). It’s a tiny place, and I don’t want to censor what I write! xx
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ha ha neither do I (know how to pm)…. anyone help?
I’m up in Mudgee working over the long weekend actually. Was there last weekend too and am in Orange doing stuff at the Tafe this weekend.
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so lovely of you merryl. hope you go along LPC
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Hang in there LPC.
We may not be able to answer your phone or pick up the towels but we are all in your corner…..
This too will pass. Hopefully bloody quickly.
xxxx
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Hoping things get better for you. I don’t know how…But when the lottery numbers crop up on screen I’ll be willing them to be yours…
x
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((hugs))
Wish I could give you a real one.
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LPC – As I want to be in your corner I want to affirm that it is not your role or duty to be anything to anyone.
I changed my last name this week because I decided that I longer come from the people who made me. I chose it at random and it is the new me. Family is difficult because we are expected *socially* to conform to the love/giving that we all want our families to be. Some simply will never be that. You sound a lot more healthy than your family. It is always mostly the healthier family member who feels obligated to *be there* for her/his completely lunatic family.
Letting go is really painful and really sad. But I have found a freedom too. Everyone gets to choose how they behave inc your sisters and father. I hope I have got your story correct as I have not read your comments about this before.
Lots of love to you. Caroline x
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Sending you a massive virtual hug. Thinking of you xx
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(((Hug)))
I totally, totally understand this feeling.
It’s pretty much what’s happening for me, too.
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LPC- you are such an inspiration to me – I visit your recipe blog a couple of times a day to see if I have missed anything. It is not just the recipes (although they are fabulous) but it is you and your writing that I love. I find the way you write very nurturing and positive – so who nurtures the nurturer? LPC – do whatever it takes for you to feel okay and in the meantime sending you a big hug and another ten hugs every time I click on your blog.
xoxo
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Oh honey. Would you like to run away to Rio with me? I am afraid we are going to have to rob a bank but I think it might do us both good.
In all seriousness, where are you love? Can I help?
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Rio is far more enticing than Orange, can I come too? I’ll help rob the bank
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and in all seriousness Danya, THIS is why you are awesomesauce
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I will drive the get away car.
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Looks like the bank job is the GO!
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I’d offer to drive as well, but I, well, you know …. can’t. And I think “waiting for the getaway tram” wouldn’t quite work.
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Is Michael Caine on board too? Bet LPC would like that
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I only told you to blow the bloody doors off!
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I will bring the stockings.
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Oh gosh, my heart goes out to you. Hang in there xo
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Well. I don’t really know what to say. Except this is so NOT FAIR. Particularly when in the past couple of weeks you have taught me to make the best lemon delicious in the world and also how to make a perfect omelet and the universe needs to give back on that!!
LPC, I am in a time of relative abundance right now in my life. But in only the very recent past it was not this way. My career was broken in an awful way; my kids were broken; my relationship was broken; and I did a lot of ‘burnt chop’ eating with maxed out credit cards. One thing on top of another, to the point where I looked up at the sky and thought take me now, I’m already road kill. I still find it hard to think or talk about that time. But it did pass.
I guess its legacy is that every day I go to sleep thinking that if I don’t avoid all the cracks in the footpath tomorrow it’ll all come back in spades. That’s my cross and it’s a small one to bear.
I do so hope that you are able to stay in your house. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to have to leave what sounds like a beautiful place. Prayers that the landlord is actually a human being with some sensitivity and compassion. PM xx
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Sending much love to you. I think you’re an inspiration and you should not forget it! I think of you every day when your posts hit my inbox and you’re a big part of my eating pleasure these days.
I hope all the shitty stuff gets better. Most of all, I hope you can get some sleep! Everything is a gazillion times worse when you’re sleepless.
XXX
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I’ve always wanted to be a cheerleader! Now I can join your team and be in your corner. much love to you. My pom poms are waving!
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Oh – all I can do is offer a cyber-HUG that’s warm, toasty & cuddly – cos skinny I ain’t but a hug from me is a help I’ve been told – sorry your life is throwing u rubbish – ummm here’s another simplistic but realistic option. When all around you from feet to the ceiling overwhelms go outside & look UP – the wonder of the ever changing sky can help right ‘my ship’ back to floating again.
Even better, lie on grass, not freezing ground, and look skywards – pretty impressive & perspective changes …
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Dear LPC,
I read your posts every week- like Danya and a few others, they tend to stay with you. I really would like to help you. Even it’s just someone to talk crap with, you sound like you need a few friends around and there’s no shortage on here
If that’s too weird, I really liked the gorgeous wollywally’s idea of a gold coin donation for Danya – can we do something like that for you?
A great big {hug} from me
PS your food blog rocks!
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I’d like to help. Please send me an email at picardie.girl@gmail.com if you think that I can. At the very least I can offer hugs and cups of tea.
You are an inspiration — articulate, an incredible cook, and wise soul. Please remember how much we care for you; we really are in your corner. Sending wishes for peace and rest xx
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Dear LPC … have always loved your ‘call a spade a shovel approach’ to life. So often you have made me laugh and laugh with your comments and observations on life and people and children and, ….. and now I feel so sad, and am crying for you. I have great big tear dollops falling down my face.
LPC ….I wish you the strength you need, the sleep you want and the sunshine you deserve. Hang in there dear LPC.
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LPC,
NOT only is no.7 completely normal and utterly relatable, but so is everything else you are saying. EVERYTHING. Except perhaps the pea souffle, which sounds amazing, but I wouldn’t be able to make it in a pink fit, so I am taking my hat off and applauding you.
It is awful to feel all those things, and it is a tribute to you that you keep on moving despite how burdened you feel. PLEASE remember that life is long, and that it will not always look like this. Seek as much help as you possibly can, remember that there are cruel and insensitive people out there and try not to take their cruelty and insensitivity on board, and try to just take one day at a time. From sunrise to sundown.
Also, you write so beautifully and eloquently. You should do more of that. It’s a gift.
Hang in there. Really. Things won’t always feel this bad.
With love,
Kerri xxxxx