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Screen shot 2012 07 21 at 11.52.11 PM Yes, Im a feminist. Why arent you?

Marissa Mayer, Non-Feminist.

 

 

 

 

by JAMILA RIZVI

Marissa Mayer is not a feminist.

Marissa is the CEO of Fortune 500 company Yahoo. She is one of the world’s most successful businesswomen and when she announced last week that she is about to start a family, she got everyone’s attention. Here is a woman who really does seem to ‘have it all’ and yet on the topic of feminism, she told AOL:

“I don’t think that I would consider myself a feminist. I think that I certainly believe in equal rights, I believe that women are just as capable, if not more so in a lot of different dimensions, but I don’t, I think have, sort of, the militant drive and the sort of, the chip on the shoulder that sometimes comes with that.”

This is a woman who has benefited enormously from the women who went before her. A woman whose achievements are noteworthy in and of themselves but at the same time, a woman whose achievements would never have been possible without the feminist movement.

Yet Marissa Mayer takes that feminist name tag, casually chucks it into the garbage and wipes her hands of it. And she is not alone in doing so.

More and more, women are distancing themselves from the term ‘feminist’.

Surveys consistently reveal that as few as 30 per cent of women in Australia, Canada, the US and the UK consider themselves ‘feminists’. And the number of self-identifying feminists only decreases when you survey younger women.

Caitlan Moran in How to be a Woman asks the respondents to these surveys:

“What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

Somewhere along the way being a feminist has become associated with hating on men, rather than being equal with them. So, I can see why women like Marissa Mayer, who work in male dominated professions, simply cannot afford to attract the label of ‘feminist’. After all, success doesn’t come to the woman who throws her hand up in the air and says ‘look at me, look at me, I’m a man-hater’.

But even beyond the corporate world and in our day-to-day social interactions, calling yourself a feminist triggers eye rolling, grimaces and complaints of political correctness having gone too far.

‘Feminist’ is a term that teenagers use to insult each other. What’s even worse is that we are now seeing women use their rejection of the feminist label as a way to endear themselves to men. Refusing to characterise yourself as a feminist has become code for saying “I’m all for equal rights and stuff but not in a scary threatening way cos’ I think boys are just the bees knees.” Calling yourself a ‘non-feminist’ is just another way of being more alluring.

Jezebel’s Katie Baker says that “the goal of the movement is equal opportunity, not gratitude and actions speak louder than words.” She argues that it doesn’t matter if Marissa Mayer doesn’t consider herself to be a feminist because Mayer can still be a feminist role model.

I disagree. I want to know when we decided that it was okay to enjoy all the benefits of equal rights while disassociating ourselves from those who fought for those rights in the first place?

Screen shot 2012 07 21 at 11.50.40 PM 290x385 Yes, Im a feminist. Why arent you?

Jamila Rizvi, Feminist.

As a single, working woman in 2012, I stand on the shoulders of giants. I stand on the shoulders of the women who went before me. And I am grateful to them.

I am grateful to the women who fought for my right to vote, to open a bank account, to own property and to order my own goddamn drink at a bar.

I am grateful to the women who said I should be able to keep my own name if I want to, the women who got rid of the ‘obey’ part in marriage vows, the women who said my life could be about more than a clean house and a well set table.

I am grateful to the women who were called evil, who were called baby killers and who were called witches. The women who took all of that crap, so that my girlfriends and I could control and make choices about our own bodies.

I am grateful to the women whose fight won me the right to marry the person I love and start a family, while still being allowed to pursue a career outside the home.

And what I fear more than anything else is that the women of future generations will not have anything more to be grateful for. I fear that the young women of 2062 will look back on me and my generation and wonder why we dropped the ball.

Because as far as we have come – there is still a huge way to go.

Screen shot 2012 07 21 at 11.55.53 PM 290x385 Yes, Im a feminist. Why arent you?

Women: Like men, only cheaper.

Women still earn around 80 cents for every dollar that men earn over a lifetime. And this isn’t just about who has the bits that make the babies.  Australian women earn less from the very first year after they graduate from university and TAFE.

Women still carry the burden of around two thirds of unpaid work and caring duties.

Women are almost 51 per cent of the population and yet we hold less than 30 per cent of elected positions in the federal Parliament. We hold 8 per cent of board directorships and 10 per cent of executive management positions.

Nearly one in five of us will experience sexual assault, one in three will experience some kind of family or domestic violence in our lifetimes.

We earn less, we are heard less and we are hurt more.

And all of this pales in comparison, to the women around the world who still do not share the basic rights, safety, freedoms and equalities that here in Australia we all take for granted.

To every woman still reading my rant, I say this: Yes, you are a feminist. All that little word means is that you believe in women’s equality with men. It’s not scary, it’s simple.

So let’s stop wasting our time ‘reclaiming’ words like c*#t and start reclaiming a word that really matters.

And let’s start doing that today.

Feminism is ours. It is an ideal, a thought, a vision that was designed by our mothers and our grandmothers and our great grandmothers, but it is still relevant today. It isn’t something we should take for granted and it isn’t something we should forget.

Let’s not let feminism become a dirty word on our watch.

Let’s give our daughters and grand daughters something to be proud of too.

And while I’m at it, I will add this.

Girls – your boyfriend should be a feminist. So should your husband and your brother and your mates and your son. Because just like I can be a supporter of the civil rights movement and not be black, they can be feminists without being women.

My name is Jamila. I’m an ordinary gen Y woman. I shave my legs, I own red lipstick, I wear 5-inch heels. I love my job and I love men – from the one who fathered me, to the ones I live with, to the one I want to share my life with. I’m a feminist and proud of it.

And you should be too.

[Share this post via email, Facebook, Twitter or old fashioned word of mouth if you agree]

Here are some feminists who inspire us:

Lauren Jackson, basketballer

Do you consider yourself to be a feminist?

Comments

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677 Comments so far

  1. Jake

    Not being a feminist doesn’t make you a NON-feminist, just a person, a normal person.

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  2. Guy

    The very concept of feminism only stands to diminish the report we have as fellow human beings, i also find it a little scary when i think of the endgame! Hitler had no problem clensing what he believed to be inferior humans, radfem are a danger to the future of the human race!
    I am a man my mother was abusive,
    I have loved women who left me for abusive ex’s, by what logic is it ok to dislike me because of the way i was born, we are equal we should all be humanist’s it’s the 21st century!!

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  3. Archy

    I’m not a feminist because the label itself is tainted by a history of radical extremist gynocentric feminists and a major failure of decent, egalitarian feminists calling them out. I am an egalitarian because I care about both male n female rights, I want both women to have access to abortion and men to have financial abortion available too. I want both to have safety, adequate protections from violence.

    I find it interesting that people still say feminism is for both male n female rights when clearly some of your fellow feminsists do not agree like this comment by Sarah McM

    “John, how about, since you’re not the one experiencing oppression because you’re female, you leave it to us what to call our movement?”

    The use of our movement to imply women own feminism others men into a position where they cannot have a serious voice in feminism, so can feminism really be an egalitarian movement? I absolutely adore the egalitarian feminists I know and gynocentric ones who are level-headed n don’t spread misandry but there’s clearly a divide in the beliefs of feminists whether men even belong there. Countless accusations online abound of men to check their privilege as a way to actually silence differing opinions, being told male issues do not matter. Using the logic of some where we should only focus on the largest group of issues would mean all funding would be drained from breast cancer research and put into heart disease because it kills more.

    I have quite a few female friends who are completely turned off to the feminism movement after it went from equal rights towards modern day versions which have their fair share of misandrist feminists. Even women over 40 that I know are turned off to feminism, I think feminists really need to ask themselves why that is? Look at the treatment of men in feminist spaces for instance when they were invited in by feminists saying their movement is egalitarian in nature and is for equality for all people yet some will quickly find the space may not be welcome to males, there seems to bea lack of defining which version of feminism a space or a person is. There are some feminists I feel comfy around and who have pretty much the same views as me (egalitarian), but there are others who make me not even want to speak to them due to extremely bigoted views and a bait-n-switch tactic of saying they’er egalitarian until someone tries to talk about male issues, which quickly makes them reverse their position to say feminism is a female space only.

    The sheer hypocrisy, the extremists who don’t get called out enough, the differing views is causing a rift towards peoples views on feminism. I am greatful for the actions of some feminists, but I am disgusted by the actions of others. The distrust of feminism exists for a reason and I suggest feminists do more to identify which version of feminism they are in. In this comment thread alone there are 2 very different versions of feminism being talked about, one being gynocentric and the other being egalitarian. It’s no wonder the label is so volatile in discussions.

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  5. Angus

    I totally agree with the idea of equality, however I don’t believe that you should have to be part of something to have benefited from it. In fact attacking someone who disassociates themselves from feminism even though they benefit from them is in essence refusing them the right to have an opinion of their own and to associate with whom they wish to.

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  6. Dave O Rama

    I can’t say that I have seen evidence that feminism is about equality. There is no evidence that male roles or options have changed at all. And there is nothing about the word feminism that indicates gender equality. That would be like saying masculinism is about gender equality. Would women buy into that suggestion? I think not. Try the word egalitarianism, that would be more honest.

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    • Kris2040

      Dave you haven’t seen male options or roles change because equality (and obviously feminism) is about achieving equality for people where they previously didn’t have it. So if a woman got married, she was forced to quit her job, but no such rule existed for men. Taking away the restriction for women doesn’t impinge on men’s rights, it brings women’s rights into line with what was already around.

      What options or role changes would you like to see?

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      • Anonymous

        “if a woman married, she was forced to quit her job, but. I such rule existed for men”

        This idea is proof in itself that feminism isn’t big enough for real equality among roles. You don’t seem to understand a males traditional role, what he was forced to do, and how little that has changed.

        Hint, when a man got married, he was forced to NOT quit his job. Today not much has changed. He has fewer options than women do.
        A married woman can choose to work or not work, a married man can choose to work one job or two jobs.

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  8. Gabe Kavanagh

    Great artice Jamila! Feminism is for everyone :)

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  9. elizabeth

    Jamila, were you at the byron bay writer’s festival this year? This post is very similar in sentiment to Jane Caro’s session “the F word”. Her book by the same name is a must for all. An important, easy-to-read, common sense approach to this vital topic.

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    • jamilarizvi

      Hi Elizabeth

      No I wasn’t at the festival. I did receive a really lovely message from Jane earlier in the comments though, saying she liked my post. I was kinda chuffed at that because I’m a big fan of hers!

      Jamila x

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  10. Maree

    I am not a feminist because I don’t want or need a “label” I just want to be a human being. I respect everything woman – and men have done in the past to fight for equal rights etc, but when I look at my husband and son and male friends I know they don’t think or expect woman to be anything less than what a man can be so I have no feelings or desire to prove myself otherwise by being a feminist because I simply don’t feel like I am treated or viewed any less than a man.

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  11. Meh

    One of the bigger achievements of feminism is affirmative action which I think kills equal opportunity.

    A similar action might have been needed decades ago, but it is not needed now.

    I think women are awesome and yes, by basic definition, you can call me a feminist. But let’s cut the crap, too.

    We hate boys’ clubs at work, but we make girls’ clubs ourselves. We hate when men a favoured just because they’re men, yet support affirmative action and shout “GIRL POWER” every chance we get.

    It’s time we take the training wheels off.

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  12. Vicki K

    Many of the comments here sadden me.

    To decide that feminism is ‘sexist’, ‘divisive’ and ‘man-hating’ is to decide that the women who fought for my right to a vote were sexist, divisive, man-haters. Its to decide that the women who fought for my right to an education were sexist, divisive, man-haters. Its to decide that the heroes who put their lives and reputations on the line for my reproductive rights were sexist, divisive, man-haters.

    No one looks at Martin Luther King and decides that he must of hated whites to come up against them and demand for his people equal privileges. And yet, when it comes to women – as always – rather than take responsibility for themselves, many in society project their wounded ego-pride, discomfort and yes, hatred, onto the feminist movement.

    For my money, if you look at a feminist and see hatred, then its probably because you hate them, not because they hate you.

    Could we choose a different word? I don’t see why we have to. There are still plenty of women-specific issues to be dealt with, where men enjoy natural privilege that we don’t. (See for instance Geena Davis’s Institute on Gender in Media for how far we have to go with getting broad, diverse representations of women on TV and in film. Check out your video store for how few films exist that tell female stories about female relationships that aren’t rom-coms. Look at how many of our talented older actresses are reduced to playing bit-parts because of a sexist hollywood that doesn’t value womanhood in its entirety and doesn’t see the beauty in wise, older women. Check out the hatred, sexism, vilification, harrassment and violent threats that feminist commentator Anita Sarkeesian has been subjected to simply for saying she wanted to create some video blogs about representations of women in gaming).

    We need a feminist movement to address these issues because they are female specific issues but ones that affect our society as a whole. And I know a lot of good men who support feminism because they agree that this is important for all of us.

    Anyone who thinks we’ve come far enough, that those of us who still call themselves feminists must hate men, don’t see the way that patriarchy still casts a pall over our lives and the way it represses both men and women alike.

    I’m not going to bother to tell you about all the men I love. It should be self-evident.

    (PS. Don’t bother responding to this post if you’re going to post as Anonymous).

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  13. Bradley

    Please read the wonderful piece written by Ms Burden. That should tell you why many women are divorcing themselves from the feminist movement.

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  14. jessicaanne

    Jamila,
    I think this is fantastic. I just wrote my Communications thesis on ‘The Sexual Politcs of Mainstreaming Burlesque’. Within my thesis I had a chapter of Feminism which led me to not only research books and the media but to discuss this with my friends and I was mortified none of them associated themselves with feminism. They all felt the word has negative connotations. Since writing my thesis I have continued my research on feminism and plan to continue on with Masters. It was really refreshing to read something from someone with a like-minded view.
    Can I ask you how you got this opporunity to write on an amazing topic on a well-known and respected site? and do you write elsewhere?

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    • jamilarizvi

      Hi jessicanne – I work for MM full time. But we’re always keen for submissions from external contributors too. Feel free to flick us an email at submissions@mamamia.com.au if you’d ever like to show us some of your work. Jamila x

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  15. Dr Jill Daly Gowdie

    As a feminist from your mother’s generation, I am so proud of you Jamila!
    May your words and your heart’s truth resound throughout the nation!

    Every blessing to you from the great communion of feminists!

    Jill (Laura’s Mum)

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    • jamilarizvi

      Thank you Jill! Xxx

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    • Dr Anonymous

      This is the exact reason why the hatred of women grows. My last post was censored and so will this one be. Which says it all.

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      • beansbeansthemagicalfruit

        People have been saying for a couple of weeks that their posts have gone missing, as have mine. Mamamia has addressed this several times already by explaining it’s just the spam filter holding on to posts.

        Mamamia maybe consider putting up some kind of note up or something so people who haven’t seen this issue discussed umpteen times before stop insisting there’s some sort of conspiracy against them?

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  16. Anonymous

    I have recently left Defence like many of my male colleagues. Promotion is now based purely on gender, not on merit. To appease the feminists the Minister wants his press conference to declare we have women Lt. Colonels and Brigadier Generals. So ability, excellence, effort, merit all go straight into the bin. Gender is the decider now. So the men leave in droves as anyone else would under those conditions. I can see a future Defence that is 80% women. The men simply leave.
    Interestingly, a female work colleague had a plaque on her desk that read, “If you want a job done right, leave it to a woman”. And a supervisor that wore a lanyard that said, “Chicks rule, chicks rule” all around it. I wonder if I had a plaque that said if you want a job done right leave it to a man? Or as a supervisor I wore a lanyard that said men rule? Would you think of me a child? That maybe has “issues”? You need to understand this is exactly the opinion of women there. Children. And soon Colonel children.
    More interstingly, a woman never says anything. I would be the first to ask my male colleague to remove such a plaque or lanyard. But the silence from women is deafening. I wonder if they do not see it? Or, if they are scared because they arefully aware of the visciousness that could be in a response from a woman? I would never see sexism from men. Only ever from women.

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    • Haven Maven

      Gee. How’s the view from our world? Care to spit polish the glass ceiling while you are there?:P

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  17. Siobhan

    After working in a male dominated industry for many years, I can tell you I have seen a huge amount of discrimination – against men. The company I worked for was so obsessed with having a percentage of managers that were female that some women were selected for promotions when they were not suited or ready. Total madness

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  18. John

    I can tell you as a man I found this offensive, and childish. Men suffer too. I could come up with many statistics that show the suffering of men. Check the victims of assault statistics, incarceration statistics. Four out of five suicides are men. So while you fight for your “female” issues, your sons, brothers, fathers die.

    Why not stand up for humanity? I don’t just stand up for men. In fact I have stood up more for women if anything. The feminists seem to want to make this sexist. Why not stand up for men like you do for women? Why separate us and choose a sex to support? Feminism does nothing to help gender relations. I would say that it even creates the misogynists you so despise.

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    • Faybian

      John, misogyny has been alive and thriving for eons. You know that. Women have been subjected to various degrees up until fairly recently.
      We had no rights to any sort of independence up until the late 1800s. We had no right of inheritance, or the right to our children, or the right to vote either. I know most men didn’t either, but no women at all did. Until last century we didn’t earn as much money for the same job as a man, or even be allowed to work after marriage and could be raped during marriage.
      I love how the suicide statistic is oft quoted as proof that men have it harder. Don’t forget, more women actually attempt it, but men use more lethal methods and are therefore more often successful. Also men don’t tend to seek help for their mental health, or in fact their general health, thus the poorer health statistics for men.
      The job thing I won’t argue with, men do do more dangerous jobs, but there is also a tendency to ignore wh&s rules, which does lead to these accidents.
      The fact is on a worldwide scale we need feminism, that can’t be ignored. If men’s issues concern you, do something positive. A lot would support positive change.

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      • John

        “Women have been subjected to various degrees up until fairly recently. We had no rights to any sort of independence up until the late 1800s. We had no right of inheritance, or the right to our children, or the right to vote either. I know most men didn’t either, but no women at all did. Until last century we didn’t earn as much money for the same job as a man, or even be allowed to work after marriage and could be raped during marriage.”

        You back here to the 1800′s. No mention of men working down coalmines for 20 hour days to provide for their wife and family. No mention of the millions that died or lost limbs in wars to protect their wives and families. We have all had it tough. Voting and wages seems a lower cost to pay to me.

        “I love how the suicide statistic is oft quoted as proof that men have it harder.”

        I find this offensive. Anyone could tell you that from that statistic men have it harder. They are dead, yes?

        “Also men don’t tend to seek help for their mental health, or in fact their general health, thus the poorer health statistics for men.”

        So this needs attention. Just like if it applied to any other demographic. But from BOTH genders.

        “If men’s issues concern you, do something positive.”

        Yes I try to do things positive for both genders, not just men. I suggest you do the same. Maybe call yourself a humanist as I do. Never a manist. Nor a feminist. A humanist.

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        • Faybian

          Did you miss the part where I said I didn’t argue with you re the jobs? I know men do the bulk of the dangerous jobs. I also know that a number of injuries caused at the workplace are due at least partly to people not complying with wh&s rules.
          You’re free to be offended by my comments, as I am by yours. I just wanted to explain why your comments seemed one sided and offensive.
          How do you know I haven’t done positive for men? I am married, after all and have a son. In the early days of my nursing, I looked primarily, after men and on the whole, enjoyed my years there. Partly because we got the chance to help and educate men on their own health.
          I won’t be calling myself a humanist any time soon though.

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          • Jake

            More men die of suicide because when they decide to do it they mean to do it seriously, not as an attention grab.

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      • seaghan

        So Faybian, you’re saying that men die by their own hand and at work and it’s their own fault?

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  19. Bec

    Love it Jamila! I have conversations with women (and men) about this all the time and instead of arguing my point I am just going to make them read this article from now on! I truly hope feminism doesn’t become a dirty word under our watch!

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  20. Pingback: Welcome to Monday ~ 30 July 2012 | feminaust ~ for australian feminism

  21. Guest

    Very enjoyable article Jamila, with measured drops of quirk and humour. Expressed it much better than I could have.

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  22. Anu

    Jamila, just two words.

    THANK YOU!

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  23. khimi thapa

    Hi! Jamila
    It is appalling that in the recent years, thanks to over-dramatic portrayals of feminists in cinema, the word feminist is relegated to man-hater. The very concept of feminism is similar to that of egalitarianism which promotes equality among living entities irrespective of their colour, caste, or creed. Same way, feminism is for equal rights for a gender that has seen political and social neglect for centuries. But this doesn’t suggest that we can guarantee women equal rights by infringing upon men’s rights. Again if we do that it is against the very tenet of ‘equality’ that feminism promotes.
    Besides that I would like to share a personal experience. My grandmother was among the first women in her village to go to college and that too bare-feet. She achieved this feat in a country where female foeticide and dowry-related deaths are rampant even today. I proud of the fact that I am a feminist and married to a feminist.
    Khimi
    New Delhi

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    • Rebafe

      Would love to hear more about your grandmothers story!
      Must make you very proud!

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  24. oliveblanche

    That was beautifully written Jamila. Its a wonderful reminder of what our mothers and grandmothers had to fight so hard for. It’s so easy to take it for granted.

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  25. Nelly

    No, I disagree with Jamila. I am a feminist, but I think angrily calling out on women for not wanting to identify as feminists is exactly the chip on the shoulder attitude that alienates women and men from the cause. I also can’t stand judgmental evangelists.

    As well, I was totally relieved by seeing the wonderful Anne Summers, one of the founders of the women’s lib movement in Australia in the 70s speak in Canberra earlier this week (and let me tell you, she is one passsionate, awesome and experienced femininst)

    And do you know one of the first things she said? That when she was asked if she was worried that young women didn’t want to identify as feminists? That She Didn’t Care.

    As long as women are acting and thinking the right way (that I deserve equal oportunity), then it’s all good.

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    • Haven Maven

      Couldn’t have said it better x

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  26. Katyberry

    The bit that I always have trouble with on MM articles on this topic is:

    “I want to know when we decided that it was okay to enjoy all the benefits of equal rights while disassociating ourselves from those who fought for those rights in the first place?”

    It always makes me think of the union movement – Hell Yeah! I enjoy my 5 day working week with mandatory leave entitlements etc. But Hell No! I don’t consider myself a unionist.

    Doesn’t there come a time where we say hooray for actions in the past that made my life better; but the past is over and I am getting on with the here and now?

    Not saying that there isn’t more to be done, but I really dislike the “you benefitted from it so you MUST identify as it” argument

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    • elle

      I think it is about being aware that yes we have many equal rights as women in Modern Australia. However it was not very long ago at all that we didn’t and we could easily lose many of these rights if we are complacent and say ‘oh well it’s over now we can relax’. Clearly the majority of the world has extreme inequality of gender but even in Australia we have big issues we need to work on. To me being a feminist is partly about respecting the women that fought for all the privileges I have today but also identifying that I believe strongly in women’s rights and equality and will fight for them. Not just for me and other women in Australia but for women all over the world that suffer much more than me due to their gender. You may not consider yourself a unionist now but I am pretty sure if your leave got taken away and your working conditions deteriorated you would join up pretty quick!

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      • Kris2040

        I agree with everything you’ve written.

        Your payrate, leave conditions etc etc are all set by awards, even if your own conditions are above that. For that you have unions to thank.

        I don’t understand why people are scared of calling themselves feminist or unionist.

        I know people who won’t join a union but then complain all the time about the company they work for. Well, join your union and get them on to the dodgy things your bosses get up to! Otherwise, STFU.

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      • Jake

        How exactly could women lose some of their rights if they become complacent? Do you think any civilised country will ever revert to the bad old days of male only voting? How ridiculous…

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  27. Karolyn

    I hope people realize the privileges they are given simply because they are BORN the way the are. White privilege comes from simply the fact that one is born white while male privilege simply comes from the fact one is born male. None of those things are under a person’s control nor is it the person’s fault they have those privileges. It doesn’t matter whether a person wants the privilege, doesn’t want it, asked for it or didn’t. It exists and they need to RECOGNIZE that they have it. I think many of us have never really thought about the privileges we are automatically given and have not earned. Even more often, we deny we have these privileges or pretend they don’t exist. That’s wrong. The first step towards change is recognizing that you have these privileges and knowing that others ought to have them as well. You didn’t earn them so why should others have to?

    I also think many people do not believe themselves to be feminists because they aren’t active or knowledgeable about the movement. That isn’t what makes someone feminist. Feminism has the roots in the BELIEF that men and women are equal and should be treated such and have equal rights. THE BELIEF. That means if you BELIEVE and THINK that men and women are equal and should have equality, you are a feminist. Feminism stems from the roots of its ideas and beliefs…if you have those ideas/beliefs, you are a feminist. Just because someone is more of an activist or is more knowledgeable about the field doesn’t make him or her any more of a feminist than another. That’s why men can just as easily be a feminist.

    Feminism isn’t saying “I hate men” or “Women are better than man”. It’s saying “Hey just because I have these certain anatomy, it doesn’t mean I belong at home in the kitchen.” It says “Just because I dress a certain way, it doesn’t mean I am inviting others to harass me”. It says “I have complete control of my body because it is MINE”. You can love men all you want but if you believe that, you are a feminist.

    Melissa Mayer, if you truly and absolutely believe that men and women are equal and equally capable as you have said you do, you are a feminist. It doesn’t matter if you are not an activist, you are still a feminist. I hate how society has made feminism out to be a dirty word and so people tend to shy away from it or even worse, completely disregard and degrade it.

    Feminism frees us from the roles and values society has so strongly placed upon us.

    The paragraph below really explains it (credit to Bebe Zeva)

    “Every morally conscious human being should be able to recognize that gender equality is IMPERATIVE for society to progress and excel. Feminism is not about making women more powerful than men, it is about deconstructing the values we ascribe to genders that make us believe any one is more important than the other. That means feminism is not only for women. Feminism frees men from oppression, too; patriarchy cripples a man’s ability to express himself emotionally, depend on others, and love. Patriarchy socializes people to victimize others and oppress themselves. Women and men alike often exercise the knee-jerk reaction of dismissing feminism. Why do we do this? Because we want to protect our privilege and defend our mental framework. We don’t want to change the way we think or live, because that would mean sacrificing many of the benefits we are conditioned to desire. For a man, a privilege might be the ability to assume a place of political power (America has yet to elect a single female president!) So, if he were to embrace feminism and attempt to destroy his own privilege, that would mean he must accept more competition in the political sphere and workforce. For a woman, the privilege of patriarchy might be depending on a male counterpart to provide income, at the expense of her ability to assume the roles she genuinely desires (as opposed to those she is conditioned to believe she desires.) I believe that subconsciously, men recognize the privileges that come with patriarchy and want to keep them because they make life easier. But it’s important that as we develop more advanced moral consciousnesses, we exchange convenience for equality. It’s also common for men (and women!) to deny that they are privileged, because pretending that privilege isn’t real means that it can still exist without being addressed and amended. As soon as we acknowledge a problem, we are obligated to fix it. That is why we deny that there is any real need for change.”

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    • elle

      Brilliant comment Karolyn

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  28. Fionaatwork

    You are so right! And here is a woman paid many millions who could not be bothered to find out what the word “feminism” means. It should have been taught at school, along with all that history of the american civil war and other stuggles for freedom, human rights and independence.

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  29. IzzyBuda

    AND YOU CAN STILL LOVE MEN AND BE A FEMINIST! GAHH!

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  30. IzzyBuda

    How can you not believe in Feminism? You can be a man and be a feminist too you know! I would hope the man marry and the children I raise are feminists. Why? Because it stands for equal right. Men and women being equal. It frustrates me when women lean back and stare at their manicured nails and declare they aren’t feminists”I mean I believe equality but like I’m not a feminist.” Clearly you are just a pure moron then. Get bent and go do the ironing then.

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    • Anonymous

      Sure, the word ‘feminist’, a clearly gender specific term, is all about equality. wtf. Oh, I think I get it, it is all about equality and rights, but only for women. Oh, but hang on, then it isnt all inclusive and all about equality for all afterall, is it now.

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      • elle

        Just as the civil rights movement in US was about equality of Black American and White American citizens so is Feminism about equality between men and women.
        Just as White Americans are historically privileged so are Men and hence the focus on women rising to meet men on an equal level.

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        • Anonymous

          ah yes, you are all so downtrodden in Australia today just like african americans, I almost forgot.

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          • elle

            I do see it as a reasonable comparison. African Americans according to the law have equal rights just as women in Australia do. Despite this, there is still inequality and discrimination going on. Even though the US has a black president and Australia has a female PM gender and racial inequality is still an issue in both countries.

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            • Anonymous

              oh dear, you are simply blinded to reality, no doubt living a perfectly good lfe in Australia, a country in which you can be whatever you want to be, yet still you are a masive victim.

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  31. If we want to know why young girls are postfeminist, we need to have a good look at the media they’re consuming. Twillight, Harry Potter…. Both are bestsellers and had a huge impact. And the female protagonists in each, even my beloved Hermione!, are rewarded for their struggles by marriage and babies. Oh, and it’s not Gen Y writing these texts. And for a long time it wasn’t them buying them for themselves either…

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    • Ros

      Harry is rewarded with getting married and being a father, so is Ron. I know people who didn’t like the ending, but I thought it was beautiful that the male lead puts family before fame and power. Not about gender. Very post-feminist

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      • Rose

        But J.K. Rowling draws ridiculously judgmental dichotomies between her female characters. I love Harry Potter, don’t get me wrong, but I resent that Hermione is placed on a golden pedestal of all that’s good and admirable because she’s clever and respectable, while Pansy Parkinson is dismissed as a bitch and the “anti-Hermione” and Lavender Brown is shamed for being too girly and too flirty (Bellatrix vs Molly and McGonagall vs Umbridge are also very telling examples). There are many more problematic elements of Harry Potter (and, again, fantastic stuff too! :) ), but this is one that sticks with me because I want to see ALL women. Not just Hermione. If girls are clever and love reading and brave, that is WONDERFUL. But girls can be a lot other things and still be wonderful and admirable.

        Again, I love Harry Potter and I wouldn’t dream of taking it away from anyone. All I’m saying is J. K. Rowling has a very troubled relationship with her female characters, and there are other issues too. Netrikom on Tumblr did a good piece on this.

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        • Neha

          There is a Ginny for every Hermione, and a Tonks for every Molly.

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          • Rose

            I do really like Tonks and (my idea of) Ginny :) I’m not sure Ginny ever got the development she deserved, and I was so upset when Tonks died.

            Look, JKR is a wonderful author and she could be a lot, LOT worse (um Stephanie Meyer and the Fifty Shades lady, anyone? Eeek)… it’s just that some of her comments have really bothered me in the past and it concerns me, because so many girls look up to her and look to her books for guidance.

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            • Ian

              Hermione’s ‘reward’ for being smart and resourceful and brave and loyal is to be lumbered with a thick idiot who has done nothing but belittle her for seven years. This is supposed to be a happy ending. For who? The thick idiot, certainly. Hermione? Not so much. Girls who view Hermione as a role model and think that’s what a relationship should be? Not so much.
              Any hope of Hermione as a feminist role model was murdered by that appalling ending.

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    • Faybian

      Please ppls. Remember they’re books aimed at kids and young girls and as such, tend to be very black and white in their views of people, particularly in the earlier books. People would baby for her blood if she made heroes of characters like bellatrix et al, or put the qualities of Lavender (flirty etc) or Pansy (bitchy) up as qualities for our kids to admire.

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  32. elle

    “Younger women have all the benefits of Feminism but none of the battle scars. They don’t realise that we have to be constantly vigilant that we don’t loose the rights that we’ve won.” Kathy Lette

    THIS is how I feel. Until you are discriminated against because you are a woman we assume we are completely equal. This is what I despair about with women of my (Gen Y) generation and younger. I see girls throwing themselves at men and doing everything possible to please them and pretending everything is cool when the guy is hooking up with another girl 5 mins later. Or women who are confident in their sexuality and enjoy sex being bullied and called a slut by other women and men when they act the same way that is encouraged in men.

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    • elle

      Lol. Thanks for your really valuable comment ‘Anonymous’.

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    • anonymous2

      What on earth is your problem?! (not Elle)

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  33. kaufman

    First of all it’s perfectly acceptable to not identify as a feminist, considering the feminist movement has a history of being only for able bodied, white, middle class women. As long as a person believes in equality, it shouldn’t matter what label they apply to themselves.

    Secondly, where did you get the idea that the women in your gallery are feminists? Half of them have never identified as such. In fact, Lady Gaga actually said she doesn’t identify as a feminist because she “loves men”. Inspiring, hey?

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    • Fionaatwork

      ??? There is no colour bar to feminists and there are many feminists working hard (and sometimes risking and losing their lives) in india pakistan, africa and the middle east. All they want is the be free to walk the streets in safety, to be able to own property, divorce abusive or unloved husbands, to not be treated like chattels.

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      • kaufman

        Do those women actively identify as feminists?

        Also, have a look at the feminist movement. How inclusive are they of women of colour, disabled women or trans* women? Until those women feel that their voices are being heard in the feminist community, you can’t say feminism is all inclusive.

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        • elle

          All feminists I know are VERY inclusive. All of them fight for equal rights in other areas to gender (disability, race, GLBT). I don’t know who you are basing your assumptions on.

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  34. Caitlin

    Can we please end the fiction that a feminist is someone who believes in equal rights for women? It’s not true. A feminist is an ACTIVIST for equal rights for women. I am a feminist but I am perfectly comfortable with Mayer not being one. She is not opposed to our cause, it’s just not a battle she’s chosen to fight. She still helps the cause by showing what women are capable of and maybe inspiring young girls to consider a career in tech or business.

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  35. Bradley

    I’ve gone back over the more recent comments and have come to a conclusion. If “feminism” is about enabling equal rights for both genders, all sexualities, all religions etc etc….then maybe it is time to come up with a new word that includes rather than excludes.

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    • Me

      I agree completely, Bradley. I think egalitarianism, or equalism might do the trick. But I’ve been in discussions with some people this afternoon that give me the impression that no amount of inclusivity will decrease extremist fanatics who don’t listen or care about opinions beyond their own.

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    • John

      I agree. I would not want to call myself a manist. I prefer humanist. And I stand up for both as I am not sexist. Feminist is sexist and divisive.

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      • Sarah McM

        John, how about, since you’re not the one experiencing oppression because you’re female, you leave it to us what to call our movement?

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        • John

          I see oppression of men. How are you oppressed? You can call it what you like. It sounds divisive. I could write a book on it’s destruction. For women as well as men. You will wake to it one day.

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  36. Anonymous

    Just to add to the Caitlin Moran quotes (albeit somewhat paraphrased)… How to tell if you’re a feminist:
    Look in your undies, and ask yourself two questions.
    1) Do you have a vagina?
    2) If yes, do you want to have control over it?

    If you have answered yes then you are a feminist!

    The crazy thing is that every woman who expresses an opinion that they are not a feminist is actually a feminist because feminism is what gave us a voice and the freedom to make our own decisions. Being a feminist does not mean you aren’t allowed to shave certain parts of your anatomy or that you’re not allowed to watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. You can change your name to your husband’s and still be a feminist (I did), you can be a stay at home mum and still be a feminist (I am at the mo) and you can bet your bottom that you can be the CEO of Yahoo and be a feminist! Although you can also just be a feminist bus driver or cleaner or nail technician or ANYTHING YOU WANT!

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  37. Emily

    This is such a great and well-written article. I really enjoyed it.

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  38. sigh

    i think we all get too caught up with the label of things rather than the idea. i think this is true of so many things. gosh … i want to make so many points i don’t know where to start. we label kids with learning disorders and sedate them, we label the poor and blame them, we label single mothers and ostracise them, we label neglectful parents and condemn them, we label politicians and mock them, we label social workers and dismiss them, we label teachers and ask too much of them, we label body types and ascribe social values, we label divorce and expect congeniality, we label lawyers and (hilariously) anticipate justice, we label families and imagine two parents and two children, we label fathers and think of breadwinners, and we label mothers and idealise secure attachments, we label boys and we give them trucks, we label girls and we give them princess outfits, we label … it’s the very first thing we do when a baby is born “it’s a girl/boy” … this is language … it gives our identities meaning … only thing is e.v.e.r.y.b.o.d.y. is interpreting their labels in their own way … a boy is whatever kind of boy he thinks he might want to be (i have three, cliche jock, intellectual smart ass, dancing glee boy) … a girl is whatever kind of girl she thinks she might want to be … and then everybody is all kinds of flawed and they are only a bit of want they want or think they are, or hope to aspire to be, and all kinds of other things they aren’t even conscious of.

    when i was 20 i wasn’t a feminist.

    when i was 30 i was an angry feminist who railed multi-directionally at all kinds of hegemonic ideology in a bid to intellectually and emotionally process having been a victim of domestic violence for 25 years.

    today i’m the kind of feminist that i need to be to reconcile competing agendas, and competing ideas about equality so i can raise boys who value themselves, who value their mother, who value each other and who will seek their very best aspirational selves at no expense to another.

    and maybe when i’m 40, 50, 60, i’ll be an entirely different kind of feminist … maybe a different label will exist … but i’ll still care about the same things … i’ll care that those who suffer are consoled, that those i love are cherished and that those with power recognise the variously labelled political campaigns who fight for those rights …

    please keep in mind my inherent flawedness, and note that my examples, about what we imagine, are merely that, examples. a bunch of words to illustrate a point. my point. not a reason to heckle about how a bunch of girls are actually given trucks, or a bunch of fathers also have secure attachments. it’s predominate notions of “norms” stuff … not personal.

    blessings

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    • Anonymous

      “today i’m the kind of feminist that i need to be to reconcile competing agendas, and competing ideas about equality so i can raise boys who value themselves, who value their mother, who value each other and who will seek their very best aspirational selves at no expense to another.”

      So beautifully said :-)

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    • Seaghan

      So how do you reconcile your beliefs with the facts that boys are progressivly performing worse at school and University, and men are now facing real identity crises?

      I’m damn sure it’s because women are trying to raise boys in the image they want boys/men to be, rather than for what they really are.

      The standard and useless argument presented by feminists is that “men have always had it better”, and a discourse of facts regarding early death experienced by men is dismissed as unimportant compared to women getting equal wages.

      It’s incredibly frustrating for men to be constantly regarded as rapists and wome bashers too. I know that some men are rapists, and the best place for them is sharing a cell with Uncle Mary in Long Bay Gaol. However, it’s SOME men who do these abhorrent things, not men in general.

      So there’s still some way to go for feminists to be taken seriously by men as long as feminists continue to blow off male issues as being unimportant.

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      • elle

        Who constantly regards men as rapists and women bashers? I have NEVER heard ANYONE say that. All Feminists I know love men and are very supportive of male issues.
        I can’t believe you blame MOTHERS for boys performing badly in school or uni? And their identity crises?
        All your statements are over-exaggerated and ridiculous so how can anyone take you seriously.
        Men dying younger is due mostly to various lifestyle choices not because men have less rights or opportunities! They just have to get off the couch, eat better, see their doctor, drink & smoke less. Are you going to blame their women for that too?!

        If you care so much why not create your own Men’s Shed or something?

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        • John

          @elle. I must comment. This I think is the most immature post I have ever read.

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        • Archy

          “If you care so much why not create your own Men’s Shed or something?”
          Wait, isn’t feminism the egalitarian movement which is meant to be where the men should go instead of making a separate group?

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      • John

        I agree. Women need to be careful blaming todays man on the errors of his fathers and grand-fathers. Perhaps now they need to look into the well-being of their sons, brothers, fathers. They might just get a surprise, and wake up. I can tell you, if four out of five suicides were women, it would be all over our televisions. But these are men. They can die, no problems.

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  39. Ros

    I am not a fan of labelling myself, but if I was pushed I would describe myself as post-feminist.

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    • Nicole Hayes

      What does that mean? The post bit? After feminism? It’s not over. That’s the point of this. It’s a long way from over. So the notion of post-eminism confuses me.

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      • Ros

        I have never been told I can’t do something because I am female. I have never been told my opinion is invalid because I am female. I have always known both men and women in leadership roles. I realize that society is flawed but I don’t find framing our problems by gender particularly relevant or helpful.

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        • Abi

          Wait, so you’re saying that because *you* haven’t experienced (or noticed) gender inequality, it doesn’t exist? Uh, what? That’s akin to me as a white person saying ‘*I’ve* never been discriminated against because of my skin colour, so what are all those POC complaining about!’ I can’t believe that’s the basis of your argument. Gender inequality *IS* relevant and is *STILL* experienced by women today. What you’re doing is reinforcing the ideals of the patriarchy and dismissing the lived experiences of thousands of women all around the world. This is why feminists are still fighting, because gender inequality is so ingrained in our society that even women don’t realise that they too can be perpetrators of this inequality.

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          • Ros

            Why are you angry about me not using your prefered label? Many people suffer, I do not deny it. I simply don’t believe that the “ideals of the patriarchy” are the one cause of all injustice.
            I also believe that the life experience of women such as myself is evidence that “gender inequality” is not as ingrained in society as some would have us believe.
            Again, I am happy for you to label yourself as you see fit, and fight for whatever causes you believe are most important. I see no reason why I can’t do the same.

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            • elle

              How old are you? I guarantee you will experience gender inequality sometime in your life and its then you will see how it is VERY much relevant and current in today’s society. Or maybe you already have experienced it but didn’t notice.

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            • Anonymous

              It seems you’re either with them or against them. Where have I heard that before?

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  40. Gabby

    I am surprised at how many women in today’s society till associate feminism with burning bras and man-haters and underarm hair. The original and basic principles of the Feminist movement was about choice. Ensuring women have the right to choose! From there stemmed issues such as equality, voting parental rights and differences and breaking out and away from the stereotypic mould that woman had been locked into.

    I am 26 and I am forever grateful for what my foremothers did for me and the options that I have available to me especially the ones we tend to take for granted, like contraception. I am a proud Feminist, I will forever fight for equal rights for woman worldwide and the continual right to choose their choice, I don’t hate men, I shave my arm pits and legs and if I can be bothered I get a Brazilian because I want to and I can not because of what my husband believes I should be doing.

    I emplore more women and men to research the foundations of feminism and support it, be proud of what our fabulous foremothers have fought for us. It saddens me that women and men do not feel that the issues surrounding inequality of women affects them.

    Such a great article written, I absolutely loved it!

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    • K

      Brilliant comment Gabby, I wholeheartedly agree! Unfortunately the word feminist does still have a negative connotation surrounding it and I hope that it’s the ‘label’ people are shying away from and not what feminism really stands for, and that’s equality.

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      • John

        Feminism stands for equality. Hmmm. To me an oxymoron if ever there was one. Would you say if I called myself a manist, I stand for equality?

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        • Kris2040

          Feminism stands for Equality because there are ways that women are still worse off than men and aren’t equal. Giving someone who hasn’t previously enjoyed equal rights (equal pay/conditions/rights) those rights doesn’t take them away from those who previously enjoyed them.

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          • John

            I understand what you say about rights. But you don’t answer my question.

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  41. oddsocks

    I find this whole debate quite confusing and am struggling to get my head around what I am thinking so can barely articulate a response.
    First of all – much of the debate seems to be about semantics and the label feminism/feminist. I just don’t get it- Caitl Moran sically says anyone with a vagina is a feminist, on todays open post Mia’s dog Harry is pictured with a sign saying I am a feminist. Honestly- the label is absolutely meaningless if it applies to everyone. I am women therefore, a feminist? I am a dog of a feminist therefore I am feminist? Where does it stop and what does it mean? I think therefore am, therefore I am feminist? But then there are women claiming not to be feminists – so Harry is a feminist but Miranda Kerr is not? Aaaaagh… I am just bloody confused!
    Secondly – something my brother said to me a couple of weeks ago… “society has changed but biology has not”. This has really been playing on my mind. Yes, I want equality but I also accept that men and women are different. I am university educated, worked in a high paying job, I vote etc etc. I then had 3 children because biologically it was only me in my arriage who could do that. I chose to put my career on hold and my husbandis currently the sole earner. We still have a completel equal partnership but my work is primary carer of a 3yr old, 2yr old 1yr old – he brings in the cash. Having this break in my career will most likely mean I will never earn the money I had potentil to before children… but I feel biologically biased in the wayI made my choices.
    Sorry, rant over! I have no idea what I am trying to say anyway!

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    • Bradley

      The dog was bullied until it agree to be known as a feminist !

      I understand that the goldfish and the canary haven’t declared a position as of yet.

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  42. Keira

    I consider myself to have feminist views (as does my husband) but I guess when I hear feminist I hear ‘activist’. I do support the feminist goal of gender equality but I’m not going to be at the front of the picket line, so to speak.

    I am very grateful for those who have fought for my right to vote, work, study, etc. But, I do distance myself because I have made the choice to be a stay-at-home mum and a housewife (for now). I am an educated women and will pursue employment down the track. I do this not because I feel it is my “duty” as a wife and a women but because it what feels right to me.

    And I do realise that it was the feminist movement that has allowed me to ‘choose’. But, I do feel slightly attacked when those of us who feel comfortable in the stereotypical traditional feminine roles are judged for not taking hold of all the opportunities we have been given.

    I know I have the right to work and raise my child (due next month) but I don’t have the emotional and physical energy to do both. And, as part of my own personal value system raising a child is more important. I don’t judge working mums, I think it’s great…it’s just not something I can do. My husband is our primary wage earner but we are very much equal partners in our marriage.

    But, in the end I would call myself a feminist – because I believe in a women’s right to pursue the life she wants to and detest gender-based barriers.

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  43. Nina Funnell

    Hells to the yes! Great piece Jamila!!

    Also can I make a couple of comments about Yahoo’s CEO? she seems to attack feminism on two fronts:

    1) that feminists have a ‘chip on their shoulder’.

    OK. To break this one down. The reason why this is insulting is because historically women have been systematically subjugated and oppressed by patriarchy. They have been traded between fathers and husbands as chatel. They have been raped as a matter of course (marital rape only recently outlawed in Aus). They have been denied a voice in important political matters. They have been required to work for free (also known as servitude). Today many women around the wolrd still suffer such awful conditions and in the West- we still have many battles to win.

    Suggesting that feminists “have a chip on their shoulder” over the fact that historically 51% of the worlds population has lived in a subjugated state is like dismissing civil rights activists and accusing them of “having a chip” over that pesky little thing called slavery.

    2) The second thing she accuses feminists of is being “militant”. Which is a pretty tired insult to be honest. But if we break it down, when you accuse someone of being militant what you’re really accusing them of is being determined and aggressive. WHICH IN MEN ARE QUALITIES WHICH ARE REWARDED!!!! *end shout*. There’s actually a double standard being perpetuated in this very comment- that men who are aggressive, tenacious and determined are alpha men- while women who exhibit similar qualities are- well- not likable. Once again, I call bullshit on this.

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    • beansbeansthemagicalfruit

      Seriously? Did you even listen to her interview on PBS? After the other day when you attacked two commenters – including the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen on here by calling Quokka a sexual assualt denilist – for disagreeing with you I would’ve thought you would’ve learned now.

      Here is the sentence that was conveniently left out at the end of her quote in this Mamamia article:

      “I think it’s too bad but I do think feminism has become, in many ways, a more negative word. There are amazing opportunities all over the world for women and I think that there is more good that comes out of positive energy around that than negative energy”.

      Scroll through the 500 comments in here and see how many agree with her sentiment. Of course yet again, don’t let the truth get in the way of a good rant.

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      • Lulu

        “negative energy”

        Whenevr someone uses that expression, I think they’re probably trying to distract attention from a problem, or undercut someone’s attempts to talk about a problem.

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        • beansbeansthemagicalfruit

          But what would the distraction be from? There is a negative connotation with the word and she stated what many of us in here have also agreed with.

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  44. vivacious

    Every time I hear this debate all I can think is that we need a new word. Feminist comes with so much baggage now. I definitely agree with the principles of the term, but it is a loaded word. People make all sorts of judgements that have nothing to do with the actual term and loads to do with history.

    While I’m happy to call myself a feminist, I know that by doing so I’m going to have to deal with perceptions that are not correct. Plus I believe in more than just equality for women, I believe in equality for all, regardless of race, gender, religion, sexuality, etc. Can I call myself an equalitist?

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    • beansbeansthemagicalfruit

      I wrote a comment that seems to have disappeared by I completely agree.

      The word as we know it is toast. I think if asked the majority of women would agree that they’re thankful for what previous generations fought for, believe in equality and recognise that there can be an abuse of power due to gender either way. However we’re not the “i am womyn, hear me roar” types.

      But if someone did a survey of 1000 females asking if they’d prefer to wear an “I’m a feminist” t-shirt or one that said “Women and men should be treated equally”, I’d be willing to bet some bigtime cash that #2 would win.

      Although I’m a bit sceptical since Mamamia is the site that skewed Marissa Mayer’s statement about taking “a few weeks maternity leave” into somehow equalling a fortnight, as in 2, I’d like to think they could come up with a word to replace feminism in 2012. It’s been hijacked and frankly what people try to do ‘in the name of the cause’ is quite often revolting.

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  45. Anonymous

    Well, on balance after reading all responses, the mood of the room is clearly that you dont need a gender based label to fight for the rights of you fellow human beings, and that, in the first world, women should just get out there and be what they want to be, free of labels and the expectations of an out of date movement.

    Seems your on a bit of a sinking ship there MM staff.

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    • Kase

      1) I think you are so wrong it hurts

      2) If you are right I’d rather go down on the “sinking ship” of feminism than be anything other else. #Iamafeminist

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  46. Kase

    Reposted this on my wall – i couldn’t agree more

    but I can’t believe the idiocy from people who I know should know better who comment the most ridiculous things – i deleted half of them – they just dont get it – so frustrating .

    Face palm

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    • Anon

      Because that’s the way to have a reasonable debate. Good on you for not being at all childish.

      /sarcasm

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      • Kase

        Oh yes anon because the best way to have a reasonable debate would be with anonymous sarcastic comments! :)

        Who said anything about reasonable debate? As far as I am concerned there is no debate. I am a feminist. Feminism is awesome. End of.

        They should be grateful I deleted their comments if you disagree because they only made themselves look ignorant.

        My wall my rules – i’m proud to be a feminist and I don’t need peoples negative misinformed opinions trashing my status

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        • Kase

          if they*

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          • JK

            Kase, you are so childish it’s hilarious!

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            • Kase

              I’m glad I can provide you with such amusement Jk. Thank you for sharing for fantastic constructive feedback with me

              /jerk

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            • Kase

              your*

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  47. amyspeak

    We use all kinds of words to express ourselves, some with the same or very similar definitions. But the meaning of words is transient and so are the attitudes towards them. While I’m a fan of “reclaiming” certain words, I also think that sometimes it is the sentiment that matters more than the label.

    As far as the Marissa Mayer example goes, she believes in equal rights and that is what should matter as far as I’m concerned. I’d no more call myself a feminist than I would a Gen Yer, but both a true to some extent. Maybe, like me, Mayer just doesn’t want to be labelled? You can still value and seek the same rights and responsibilities without using a particular word, and shouldn’t that be what matters? The actions over the way we define them?

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    • Anonymous

      I do agree with your sentiment. But what about the part where she says “I don’t, I think have, sort of, the militant drive and the sort of, the chip on the shoulder that sometimes comes with that.””

      that is insulting to all people who consider themselves feminists – the very people who allowed her to get where she is today and that is not ok

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      • amyspeak

        Good point on the rest of Mayer’s quote – that kind of judgment is uncalled for and insulting as far as I’m concerned.

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  48. Michelle

    Love this post Jamila – well said – thank you.

    Growing up I was told not to be a feminist because ‘boys don’t like that’.

    I am a feminist and proud of it.

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  49. Lisa Jensen

    We have a female PM (by default) and a few women making big achievements in male dominated areas, and in our western world women have legal basic rights, therefore gender equality and rights is no longer an issue.

    Woohoo!! Surely that means with a black president (actually voted in), other big achievements and legal rights achieved for african americans, we’ve completely resolved the issue of racism too! Go us!!

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  50. Melissa

    Great post. Totally agree for the most part. Personally, It is not about not wanting to say ‘I am a feminist’ but moving on and wanting equal rights for everyone now. Just as much as I want equal pay for women I would like 2 men or 2 women to be able to get married. Of coarse we are grateful for ‘the women that went before us’ no question but as a 30 something women with 1 child and 1 on the way it is also a lot harder for women who want a career and a family then it is for men and it is not just because we are paid differently. We can’t change that no matter how much we scream feminist.

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