Today’s Open Post is really going to be a little journey into my mind – because there’s a lot on it today. So I’m going to jump right in and I urge you to do the same
The office
First a look at what’s been happening around the office

Whenever Mia has a column to write, she comes into the rest of the editorial offices to hang out and not write.
Our Facebook page is becoming quite the happening place. We have tons of give aways happening, impromptu chats with our publisher Mia Freedman and soon we will be announcing live chats with our other columnists. It’s different from the conversations we have on the site as it’s immediate and direct. Actually quite a lot of fun. So how do you take part in all this wondrous activity that happens only on Facebook? It’s simple. You just like us here, keep an eye out on and voila – next thing we’ll be chatting over a prize.
While we are talking all things social media don’t forget to like our Pinterest Boards here. You will get plenty of behind the scenes shots of life at Mamamia. But don’t worry there’s also plenty of actual interesting things as well.
The Magazine Covers
Every time I do my shopping I am bombarded by women, perfectly toned flawless women and while I don’t know them they all look very familiar. They don’t talk to me physically but Lord they say a lot – they are the women on the covers of the magazines. Even without words they tell me how a woman is expected to look, they tell me that the woman who count, the women who are as the “ideal” look a certain way. She has a very small waist, long legs and no body fat. She also has no freckles and no pores and for some reason she is not very happy (you don’t see many smiling faces on magazine covers).
I see these women so often that I have started to ignore them, just like I manage to ignore the stain on the bedroom carpet. It bothers me when I see it, it irritates me that it is still there but I can walk into another room and forget that it exists. Simple.
But when that stain gets smaller, or starts to fade – I rejoice a little inside. And I rejoice a lot when I notice that there are changes on the covers of the magazine.
When I saw Robyn Lawley on the cover of Madison I literally beamed. Not because she’s Robyn Lawley or because she is “plus size” or for any other reason other than the fact that she looks different. She is not the same body that has been greeting me at the supermarket for as long as I have been old enough to pay for my own purchases. Yes she’s photoshopped and that makes her look a bet samesy but her body is still the same
And then I saw this – Tara Lynn on the cover of French Elle
And I thought she was simply gorgeous (albeit heavily airbrushed to have “plastic” skin). I would be happy to see her at the supermarket. But why the label?
Why does she need to be known at “The Body”? Every person has their own shape, their own look, their own expression. I don’t want to be told how THE body “should” look. I just want to see lots of different bodies – lots of skin shades, body sizes and facial expressions – so I can differentiate one from the other. And so that I don’t have to deal with the pressure of having to “be” any of them.
As soon as we start seeing different bodies and colours and sizes and shapes on the pages of the magazines, on the billboards as we drive and on the ads that permeate all our public space we will start to feel less pressure to conform to that ideal. After all if there are so many images to choose from we can feel confident that there is no ideal body shape – that we are okay. Just the way we are.
And a gallery of some other magazine covers that give me hope. All the images on these covers have been photoshopped but all the bodies are not the same.

The Video
I can’t stop watching this video. Yes the crying gets to me. But oh the sleeping babies. Is there anything more peaceful than a sleeping baby?
What’s on your mind this week?









Comments
207 Comments so far
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Just wondering if the mamamia team could make it an option to subscribe to the daily newsletter that we recieve in an email everyday to having an option to just get a weekly email update from mamamia? Im not getting through all of my emails everyday and would like the option to just select to recieve a newsletter once a week rather than everyday? I really dont want to have to unsubscribe from it all together thats all. Is it possible? xoxo
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MIA OH MY GOD YOUR LEGS. I am unbelievably jealous!!!! I’d love to wear shorts like that, but being 5’2 with rugby players thighs I can never pull it off!
Nat I’m so jealous of you as well, you’re only a couple of years older than me? Do YOU need a PA?
OMM: I hate binge drinking and clubbing. There. I said it. Worst 19 year old ever. I lied to friends who were going out tonight for O Week, so I could stay home in my pjs and catch up on Packed to the Rafters…. I hate it! It’s loud, you can’t talk to people, its a huge waste of money and you wake up feeling like crap the next day! It plays havoc with my diabetes as well. Give me a relaxed bar/beer garden, a couple of drinks and live music please.
I am actually 30…
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Robyn Lawley does not look ‘different’ on that cover. Thin (yes, she’s skinny even if ‘plus-size’), sullen, perfect.
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Is it just me or was there a lot of unsafe sleeping going on in that video? And the hairdryer? I wanted to jump up and pick it up to stop a fire starting. Maybe I have newborn-mummy-anxiety…
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i think they were probably sleeping like that for the camera to add to the cuteness factor
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Gah, baby sleeping on couch! It always makes me shudder.
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OMM
Ladies out there: Get. A. Pap. Smear.
One of my very best friends has just found out she has cervical cancer. Lucky she is one of the good ladies out there who is always right up to date with her pap smears so they have caught it early so hopefully that will mean the prognosis is good. Stll has to see cancer specialist to get more information on treatment etc. But the scariest parts is she is so young, only 30, is always up to date with Pap smears, and that she feels well. She is not tired, not rundown, but is a healthy and very energetic and social girl. Please tell all the lovely ladies in your lives to get a pap smear and not put it off!
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Sorry to hear about your friend
Will be sure to drill it into all my girlfriends!
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This is so very timely for me as on Saturday I received the results of my second pap smear in 6 months, abnormal again so need to have further tests. I kept putting the initial smear off after getting a reminder from my Dr as it is an uncomfortable procedure but oh so quick. It took me longer to get undressed and dressed again!!! So ladies, pick up the phone and make that appointment today. It is more painful and uncomfortable to have your bikini wax done!!!!
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Feeling very ‘blah’ in the here and now. I have grown to hate my job. Between being unstimulated, stuck in between my immediate manager and store manager’s squabbles, dealing with rude people, and constantly bored/unmotivated, I always seem to feel down while I’m at work.
On the up side, I’m starting a Masters next week and have an overseas trip in 17 weeks. Only 78 days of work to go, and when I get back I will look for a position in my chosen field.
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Has anyone seen ‘Any Questions for Ben?’ ??
I heard pretty average reviews about it but saw it over the weekend and really enjoyed it. Gave me plenty of giggles.
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I liked it but I like pretty much anything… my friend HATED it because pretty much nothing happened in two hours, but I suppose that was kind of the whole point wasn’t it?
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Lucy!
In picture 13 where did you get your pretty key necklace from?! adorable! love it! I want!
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Hey Steffie. It’s a designer called Cat Hammill and you can buy her stuff at David Jones. Be warned – you might get addicted.
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Awsome! Thankyou! so cool! I will go and check David Jones out! yay!
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Mia, your legs are amazing! Rock those shorts more often!!
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Peppy, mwah.
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Doesn’t Mia do these posts anymore?
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Hi there. Nope, we’re mixing it up to free me to write more columns for Mamamia.
So more posts from me, just not this one.
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OMM: how much I love FaceTime! I had to rush home on Sunday and it has been great way of staying in touch with my boyfriend from far away. Seeing his face is so great and on Monday night he was passed around to the whole family for a quick hello. Just brilliant.
OMM 2: this quote is currently bringing me great comfort – Every night has a morning, every day has a night. Every smile has a tear, every hello a farewell.
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That is my favorite mamamia video so far. Wish I’d seen it 18 years ago. Could have saved a lot of my sanity.
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OMM Shoooes. And the colourful outfits that all the MM staff seem to have. My wardrobe is boring.
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I am like a rainbow vommitted on me most days. Which is better than actual child vomit which I had last week.
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haha I like rainbow but! Rainbow is Care Bear vomit.
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lovely to see the galleries! you all look so bright and happy!
OMM- after another bad experience with a boy i am sick of it! I seem to have a pattern and keep dating the same type of men! Everything good at first but then they turn out to be selfish, inconsiderate, liars, sometimes cheaters and sometimes extremely cruel. All of them seem to lack empathy and just not really care about me. Every time this happens I feel crushed and think ‘what is wrong with me?’ ‘what did i do to deserve this’ ‘why do they not love/care about me and how can they behave this way with no thought of how much it hurts me?’
I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I have read that you need to be happy within and love yourself before you can attract a great partner. Due to all these bad experiences with men I find I am not happy inside and so maybe this is contributing to it?
Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do to break the cycle!?
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Luce try to go “off type”. I had “a type” and it never worked. Then I met my now husband. He was so not my type. But it was the most lovely surprise to realise that once I opened my eyes and looked further afield I was thrilled to be aware of a entire world out there that I previously hadn’t looked at. Good luck.
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I did the same and I’ve been married to my husband for 15 years now.
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Same here. My ‘type’ was tall, slim and in a suit. Then I found myself dating other people who were a bit different. One evening I was introduced me to a friend’s ex who was shortish, muscular, longhaired. 4 years later we’re still together.
Although the looks might be what attracts you at first, it’s the internal qualities that keep you together.
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You need Zoe Foster book Text Book Romance. For serious, I read it the other day. I think it helps you think about how you relate to yourself, and therefore men and relationships. Even if you don’t follow all the ‘rules’, it still has an awesome message.
Can’t hurt!
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I sound like a cliche but have you read Louise Hay? If not please do so. It make such a difference to me.
xxx
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nicely played Kev, nicely played
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Kevin Rudd nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Classy press conference.
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kevin Rudd has resigned
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Yay, break out the champers!
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Sorry to bring the tone down, but:
http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/i-dont-do-charity-like-that-brereton-under-fire-over-sexist-facebook-taunts-20120222-1tn47.html
Morons.
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Oh, I didn’t watch that video before posting. It really made me smile.
I still love looking at my kids sleeping. The 2 year old looks like the most gorgeous doll while asleep. Then I kiss her and she shuffles a bit and snorts like Peppa Pig. It’s hilarious hearing that sound come from her beautiful face. We love it.
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OMM – baths. Children’s baths in particular.
What’s with all those tv commercials and scenes in movies or whatever depicting a parent bathing a small child who is happily playing his or her little rubber duck among the bubbles? When the parent gets the child out of the bath and wraps them in a big fluffy towel, it’s so effortless. It looks so, calming and nurturing and cosy. Parent and child are giggling affectionately.
Every day when my kids get in the bath, within minutes the bathroom looks like a freaking tsunami has hit it. I have to put down four old large towels on the floor to soak up the running rivers.
And when I get them out and try to get them in their nighties, I end up with a strained back muscle from trying to get them to be still for 3 seconds.
And hair-wash night. It’s easier to bath a beagle.
End of my FWP rant. Please, someone tell me I am not alone!
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You are definitely not alone. I worked as a nanny for five years and bath time was always mental. ‘Alex, stop touching your brother’s penis.’ ‘Cam, we do not wee on the walls.’ ‘Ned, if you swing your willy at me one more time…’ Seriously, what is it with boys and baths and doodles?
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Oh that’s so funny! I have girls so can’t compete with the penis stories. My girls do however like to do a special nude dance when they get out of the bath which involves a fair amount of showing off their bums. I feel sorry for any guests we have over in the evenings.
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As a mum of 5 ,4 of whom are “energetic” and inquisitive boys i can certainly relate!! Boys + water + nudity always ends up messy and quite funny!
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Ohhh I love sleeping babies! My 7 month old little girl is asleep at the moment…. Going to go look at her.
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I want to work in the Mamamia office! It looks soooo cool… even though I LOVE my job at a wonderful not-for-profit, I’d trade it in to work with you guys given the opportunity!!
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Hey Lucy, what happened to the wine bar posts? I feel like I haven’t seen them in a while!
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My hubby is a teacher at a NSW high school. He just came home and told me about his day. Apparently there was a fight between two students, someone let some parents know and they came to the school to either watch the fight or be involved in the fight. What resulted was a female student who was watching the fight, being knocked out by the female parent! The mother has been charged with assault and neither parent is allowed on school grounds anymore.
While this disgusts me, it is not a shock. This type of occurrence is common at this school. Parents are frequently involved in encouraging their children to fight and many have been known to show aggression in coming to the school looking for a student who they have perceived as having ‘done something’ to their child.
What is wrong with these people? How do you get to the point where you think it is OK to a) punch a child and b) encourage your children to be violent? My mind is just boggled by this behaviour!
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Sounds like the high school I went to. By the time I graduated I was an advocate for forced sterilisation.
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Oh Nicky! Wow! That’s incredible. The schools my kids go to – primary and high school – have a “don’t approach other parents or children policy”. If you have a problem then talk to the school principal. Your story is such a tragic one as to think that parents can act so irresponsibly is so sad. What hope is there for their children? Oh dear.
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OMM: India! Am planning a trip there, solo (my first solo trip!) so any tips/hints from other MMer’s who have been, or who’ve travelled on their own would be greatly appreciated. Am so excited!
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Anon it has been many years since I went to India but it was such an amazing place to visit and I would love to return. But be prepared. It is VERY intense, really full on. Just go with the chaos, don’t fight it and you will get used to it very quickly. I was with a friend and we met lots of people along the way. Enjoy!
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Two interesting things in our house this week:
My mum volunteered to look after my Mr3 today. I have work to catch up on and took time out yesterday to have lunch with her when I should have been working so she offered to take him today. But she phoned me at lunchtime to confess that she took him in the car WITHOUT A CHILD RESTRAINT!!!! He’s 3 years old. He should be in a seat with a 5-point harness. Mum excused it by saying she only drove in the back streets and drove very carefully, but what if someone had hit her?? I would never forgive her if something happened to him because she decided that an adult seatbelt was ok for a 3 year old. She has driven him in her car many times and I’ve always left a carseat for him if they’re going anywhere. How could she? I’m just furious with her….
Same Mr3 has developed a nightly habit of coming out of bed 1000 times before finally falling asleep very late, some nights it’s been 11pm before he drops off. We’ve been through this phase with the other kids so you’d think we have it mastered, but apparently not. Short of tying him to the bed, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve shouted, I’ve tried walking him back calmly 1000 times but it doesn’t seem to matter. I just wish I could work out what’s making him want to get out of bed. I’d fix his problem quick smart!
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I’m not a mother but I’ve seen on Supernanny a few times what she does with kids who won’t go to sleep, who get up and play or come out to see their parents.
So take this with a grain of salt…
It sounds a lot like what you’ve already done – if my memory serves me correctly, the first time you calmly walk them back to bed and tell them it’s bedtime and leave it at that – turn the lights off and walk out.
If they get up again, you walk them back again, but this time you don’t say anything.
And then you repeat that, and hopefully the child eventually gets the message that you are not going to indulge them in conversation and procrastination.
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Don’t be too hard on your mum. Of course she shouldn’t have driven with him without his car seat but at least she has been honest about it and now next time you can make sure you leave your car seat with her so she doesn’t have this problem again. When I was a kid there were no seat belts and we rolled around in the back of my mum’s VW Beetle and have lived to tell the tale.
The kids getting up 1000 times a night at bedtime… it’s just a phase that he will get over. Unfortunately it might take some time. Hang in there!
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Really? Don’t be hard on her mum? I would go ballistic! Actually I would probably be so furious I would be speechless. What she did is inexcusable. A child at three years of age is so unsafe in a normal carseat and there is just no justifying that. Had she been in an accident the consequences could have been dire. She could have killed her grandchild. What she did is illegal just like drink driving is illegal. The fact that her mum drove slowly and took the back streets ( what a ridiculous justification!) tells me that she knew exactly what she was doing so the fact that she did it with so much thought makes it even worse. I cannot imagine a situation that she could have been in to warrant the risk. Becauseimthemum, I really hope she has promised you she will, never, ever, ever do this again. I am sorry she endangered your child and I am glad all is okay.
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Glad to see real size women on mags, but what a shame they are still photoshopped?!?
Having such a crap week. Small car accident Monday in the rain. I’m ok, car bumper a mess, other bloke took off. Kids are sick ATM. Today took them to the dr and then to the shopping centre to grab lunch. Miss 7 looks at a stone at one of those mid mall cone and go vendors and drops it but picks it up. The woman who owns the store comes flying over and said it would have shattered and finds a broken one under the table. I said I was sure my girl picked it up. She insisted I pay $15, then called security and barked at me all the way through the mall with my children that I was a bad parent, I was teaching my children the wrong thing and that she was calling security. She bailed up my daughter and when my daughter was too scared to say a word she yells at me ‘see your daughter is telling you she did the wrong thing’. It was horrific! She said it would all be on cctv, and I said let’s go look at it. The security guy came and took my details, followed mr to my car and even took my rego, said he’d look at the CCTV but would give my info to the woman! My little girl was terrified and bawling, and I ended up in tears on the way home too. Called centre management when i got home, and the gave me the info of the company who books these vendors. The lady there was lovely and apologetic, but geez!
Just want to hibernate.
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Oh, haven maven, you certainly could do with a break! What a crappy day/week.
I echo the hibernating option – put your feet up, put some trash on the telly and forget about things for a while. Sounds like you need a pyjama day.
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Oh my gosh, what a horrible situation over a $15 rock!! I just did a bit of looking and I’m fairly certain that stores can’t actually hold you to ransom if you break something (not saying that she did, but irrespective). The whole “you break it, you buy it” isn’t true. Maybe someone with a legal background can confirm that. At most, they can ask to cover their losses which would be the wholesale price only.
But who would do that to a child? I would be making formal complaints about her behaviour. Wow.
Hope your day gets better
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They can’t. My daughter manages a cafe and says that stuff dropped is written off as wastage or some such.
I had a run in with a store assistant who tried to force me to buy a bag of lollies that broke when they were dropped. Long story short, I refused and insisted that I knew my rights. I had 3 of my kids with me at the time and they just stood there with their mouths open.
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Ive moved o a new town (again) moving hillbillies! The Things you do for work! Anyway been here for around 3 weeks and no ones as much looked at me, not even a smile. Could be a long two years if no one even wants to say hi ( I’m sure I’m over reacting it all takes time)
Lana about the magazine covers, it’s unreal how we look at theses photos and compare ourselves. When we know how much goes into it for them to actually look like that. But we still beat ourselves up. I compare myself daily, I want to LOOK like a mum, no just a women. I jjust want to fit in at school pick up, or work, or anywhere. I don’t want to be skinny with no boobs – looking like teenager!! My second day I dropped my son off at his new school and a lady actually shook her head at me and said under her breath said ‘at least some of us eat’!! Really, i was just floored, and she was carrying a good extra weight. But i want that. I want to look like a woman with curves.
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Don’t take it personally, some people are so miserable and stressed, it’s all about them not you.
It’s sounds a bit condescending but I always feel sorry for people that can’t manage a smile in the street. Hell if I can smile at everyone w all the crap I’m currently going thru then surely they can smile back! Laugh.
Then again smile at someone and say hi how are you and you may just make their day, that’s usually the case. xxx
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MM tech issue: I’m on a Mac, using Safari. When I click on a comment on the front page it doesn’t take me to the comment, like the site used to, it takes me to the top of the story the comment was about. Is it my browser, or is it not possible to go to click through to the comment anymore from the home page?
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I’m on a pc, using Chrome and the same thing happens. I liked being able to click on a comment and go straight to it too.
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Hi there,
Mikey from the Tech team.
This is an issue I’ve been looking it and the problem turns out is that the major browsers (Firefox, Chrome, IE and Safari) all handle this redirect functionality differently. And in more awesome news aren’t compatible with each other.
So unfortunately until the major browsers can agree, I’d suggest using firefox as I’ve tested this and that functionality is working for that browser.
It you have any further troubles please do contact me: mikey@mamamia.com.au
or perhaps my colleague:
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Hi all,
I just wanted to ask if The Find post was coming back. I love this site but it’s kind of annoying how I’ll get to like a post and then it disappears never to be seen again. I’d really like to see some more fashion posts that aren’t just “look at these celebrities or models” etc.
Cheers x
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Hey Jess,
Good idea about The Find – I loved that post too! I’ll bring it up in our next meeting. But remember, you can always share that type of thing in this post.
Re fashion – we all sat down a couple of days ago and talked about mixing the fashion content up a little. Watch this space – there’s lots of new and exciting things coming up!
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A bit like the quick question, where has it gone? Re focus MM, stick to something for a while before mixing it up too much, sensory overload much?
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Lol. We hve a short concentration span!
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Hello, I am a second year Communications student at UTS, I have done a year of Social Science at Newcastle university and I’m majoring in Gender, Bodies and Society. I am a plus size model with a love for Fashion and diversity. I’m currently a Sales Associate at Optus, but I’m looking to Start my career early. If anyone knows of a gofer job, or mailroom clerk, personal assistant anything!! Let me know if anyone knows of anything that would get me involved with the industry! I’m full time uni student, but I have 9hrs contact only and no exams! please help me escape retail!!!
thanks guys email me at blaisemccann@hotmail.com
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Hi MMTeam,
I’m a newcomer that’s enjoying your site. The editorial and commentary are engaging and your site’s easy to use, but you guys should consider upgrading your server set up.
Pages can take several seconds to load and I’ve seen it take as long as perhaps 20 secs to load a page. You look like your traffic definitely warrants a few more cylinders under the bonnet.
Yep, I’m also one of those people who’ll tell you if you’ve got something stuck in your teeth.
Keep up the entertainment and http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1mdgg_prince-controversy_music
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Hear hear
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I’ve just finished reading the first two books in the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich and I’m really enjoying them. However, there’s eighteen in the series so far and I’m wondering if they’re more or less the same? Has anyone seen the movie adaptation of the first novel One for the money? I’ve seen the trailer but it certainly doesn’t look anything how I’d pictured the characters (Katherine Heigl as Stephanie, really?).
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I loved the books but got a bit sick of them by number 14. The storyline is pretty much the same in all.
I am keen to see the movie but it is getting terrible reviews. I agree about Katherine heigl. Not who I pictured either.
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I’ve read them all and they are all very same-y. There’s not too much progression with characters either but every single one makes me laugh out loud
and the movie was ok, nothing on the books. My partner thought it was awful though so i think you had to have read the books to find it funny but detach a bit as well!
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starsky, I’ve read most of the books in the series but I stopped when I got to about 14 or so.
They’re more or less the same – just a different ‘adventure’ each time. But they’re still fun. I was reading each one as it was released so there was a fair gap between books, which I think is a good idea to stop that ‘sameness’ feel creeping in. They’re a good option when you want a bit of escapism.
The movie isn’t out here yet but I’ve seen the book in stores like Dymocks with Katherine Heigl on the cover.
I didn’t picture her as Stephanie either – I’ve read some viewer reviews from the US that said they warmed to her, while others said they didn’t like the movie. The general consensus seems to be that they got the casting for Lula spot on.
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I’ve read them all and yes they do all end up pretty much the same. But as Bunny said, they are good for a bit of escapism, if you’re looking for something you can read in a few hours (the later ones really seem to have less and less pages!) and just want to laugh at the characters stupidity.
Haven’t seen the movie yet and not sure if I will. I really, really dislike Katherine Heigl and she is certainly not the Stephanie Plum in my head. And I really don’t feel like the guys playing Morelli or Ranger are anywhere near as hot as they are supposed to be in the books (but let’s face it, who could be?!?!)
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If you’re in Perth I can lend you the books…
Katherine Heigl was not great in the role, I much prefer my imagination!
They are a little similar when you read them all together – format, anyway, but if you read them individually, there is not that problem
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I agree with one of the comments below – Mia, you have GREAT legs!!! You also look really nice in that photo of you sitting on the chair.
I loved the video of the babies – it’s incredible how quickly they were falling asleep with their cues. I particularly loved the baby who needed the little cloth above his head – gorgeous! (they all were)
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Hey Bird, how are you going? Have been thinking of you xxx
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Thanks, Louisec. I’m as ok as I can be. Looking after the kids keeps me busy. Things are going along as ‘normal’ and we are making a bit more time for chatting after the kids are in bed, but I think we have a bit of work to do to get back on track. My husband isn’t keen on both of us seeing the same counsellor he has been seeing, so I’m hoping to find someone else for us to see. The choice is limited in a regional town. I feel quite lonely without any physical affection from my husband and I’ve been crying a few times during the day (away from my kids). I just don’t get how we’re in this position. It’s usually the man keen for physical contact/sex and in my case it’s the other way around. I am being strong, but rejection in this way can really affect how happy you feel. I am also scared to be hopeful at times because I don’t know if he’s just going to say in a few weeks time ‘it’s not working, that’s it’…I’m just waffling…it’s a confusing time, not an easy time. I have told a couple of members of my family so they know what is going on, but his family doesn’t know. Sometimes I want to just tell them that their son wants to leave me, but that is childish and not beneficial in any way. We don’t live near either of our families so it’s easy to pretend things are okay. Sorry if this is a bit confusing – I’m doing as well as I can, just feeling a bit lonely and uncertain. Hoping to get some counselling organised.
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it is a really rough time you’re going thru. At least yr husband is seeing a councellor but if you’re not going together as a couple then how can you be working things out? That is the priority.
I’m sure there are other women on here who have gone through similar experiences. REach out to them. I’ve never been married.
My friend was telling me yesterday that three years ago her husband went through this. He moved out for a couple of months. She said she stayed calm as she’s always believed that things will work out. Easier said than done I think! But she has something there.
He eventually worked it out they’re back together, really happy. I also read an article about a woman who’s husband did the same and she was similar – just told him to go off and sort himself out. She didn’t panic or freak out. He came to his senses too.
Its hard when you are on your own, but maybe try and build up your strength by focusing on yourself which is what that woman did.
Maybe someone on here remembers that article, I think she wrote a book and it was quite well known.
Rhonda Britten is a great writer, she wrote the books Feel the Fear and a relationships book. Have a look at her stuff as may be helpful. And I swear by Louise Hay, so get her books asap too.
xxxx
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OMM this week:
Anyone around Bris got this dreaded summer flu? Everyone at work is sick, I had the day off yesterday, except mine is presenting as a constant headache and sore neck. Thinking of heading home early, but I don’t actually look that sick, hate that!
Don’t know what happened to me yesterday while I was sick, but I had a major revelation that I definitely want to keep practising law for the foreseeable future. SUCH A GOOD FEELING!
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Yeah I had it last week (although the radiation knocked my immune system around so it might have been worse than usual). It was awful. I had a terrible cough. I coughed so much my ribs hurt like I’d done a hundred situps. And for a few days I felt just awful. Some antibiotics helped me (although that was probably more preventative in my case) plus some rhinocourt (steroid nasal spray). My specialist said that there is a nasty one going around. Take care of yourself
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get better oopsyboops, while I don’t know how you feel, I know how it feels to have a family member going through radiation and it seriously knocks you around. Take care xxxx.
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aww thanks. Taking one day at a time which is all I can do since every day seems to throw something different at me
Feeling not too bad today although trying to teach a 3 yr old how to play hopscotch when she can’t even hop probably wasn’t wise, but it was amusing.
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Thinking of you Oopsyboops x
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I haven’t had the flu (yet?) but I remember you mentioning a little while ago that you were feeling a bit jaded about work – glad your passion has been revived!
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I’m not a maternal person but those babies!!!!! I love baby cuddles – and when they cry I give them back
OMM – I really want to study and I am enrolled but I have just found out that it is going to cost be $6,500 upfront without rebate because I will be studying at the same level of a qualification I already have (a Diploma). I am frustrated by this so much! And it’s definitely not $$ I have spare. I know, at least I have access to it, but ARGH!
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Karyn, Yesterday I flew back from the Gold Coast on Virgin and in the magazine there was a three page article on learning online – for free! I will see if I can dig up the link… it was something like PP2P? I have the mag at home and yes, it was real degrees and diploma’s.
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Oh, SK, if you read this that would be great if you can find the name. Thanks
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It was 6 weeks yesterday until I leave on my trip…. GULP!! Where has the time gone?
Now that I have more time to spend at home I have been cooking a bit for my family. I made creme brulees for the first time last night and they were FAB!!!! So yummy! I have no idea what they are meant to taste like… But i thought they tasted good anyways! And very naughty too!
Omm… Money still. I know I dont have enough for my trip but there isn’t much I can do about it. If you are in melbourne and need a babysitter….. Call me
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I wish I got to wear nice bright colours at my work! our uniforms are black… feel drab most days, only have earrings and make-up to brighten up my look
Ps. love the yellow shorts and blue phone!
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OMM: Going back to work. Should I, Shouldnt I, is it even a choice…. My daughter is 14mths now, and money is getting tight. My partner “doesnt believe in putting babies in day care before they are two” (ugh…I know…) but for me its not about that really. Also, he isnt the one having to worry about whether or not its him pulling his financial weight. I went back to work when my second was 18 months and my oldest was two and a half. I keep trying to reason with myself that 14 months and 18 months arent that different, but i cant help but think that, despite the financial incentive of going back to work, that I will miss out on so much (she isnt walking yet, barely saying words etc, will I miss all of that?) and she has never been away from me (apart from one night, I left after she was asleep and was back before she woke up, and it was the first time since she was born that we werent in the same place), not even with her dad, Ive always been there, so she tends to cling to me a lot, Im worried she might not handle being away from me for such long periods of time so suddenly…or is that just me projecting my fears on to her?
Also, my boys were looked after by their Gran in their own house until they were three (not an option this time, as my mum has lost her sight over the five years since she did this), and to me that is somehow different than putting her into a day care centre in a place and with people she doesnt know….. I have family members who work in child care, and they boys were in child care for two years, so I know how the centres work, I know most child care centres are fantastic, but that logic doesnt seem to be getting through. Also, the boys were in kindy/preschool, which I assume is different from how things would be in the toddler room?
Ive considered part time work, but there are few jobs that will give me both the hours and pay I need (most part time options are four -five days a week, 9-2 anyway around here in my industry) and night time work would have me working til early in the morning and looking after baby all day…seems its either go back full time or stay home. I dont know what to do at the moment.
Any advice from anyone who has been through this before would be greatly appreciated.
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If you are questioning if it is right or not, stay at home. Yes money will be tight, but if you are not 100% committed to working the strain it will put on your family will not be worth it. Wait 12 months, at nearly 2.5 the third child will be more than happy to get out and go to daycare and after another 12 months at home you will be ready to get some adult time again, and probably wont feel guilty about the things you will miss.
I went back to part time work when my third was 2.5 and it was the best idea ever.
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No advice, but sympathy. Also OMM. I am due back to work in 11 days and desparately don’t want to go. But I want to work…just not in my old job for my old company! But good part time roles are sooo rare
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It’s so hard working out what is best isn’t it? It is not a one size fits all solution as it depends on your own needs financial situation and the characteristics of your child. I had no luck with daycare with my two boys until they were 2.5 and 3.5. I ended up with a mix of a wonderful family day care placement and a nanny, and have been very happy with both. We’re also doing a bit of daycare now the boys are older. The oldest still kicks up a stink about going but he is ok once there. He is startng school next year anyway so is ready! Whereas my youngest still isn’t going so well. Some little ones seem to be fine in care however. Most of my friends seem to have no probs. We are the only one of our social group with a nanny but it works for us and my youngest is much happier on his ‘home’ days.
Best of luck.
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Sounds like you’d like to stay at home. If that is what you want then you and your husband really need to work out whether you can afford it. I had no choice but to go back to work when my daughter was 10 months old. When our second child came along we decided that a complete life change was needed so that we were not forced to have both children in full time day care. We haven’t looked back and our sea/tree change has meant that we don’t have the stress of city life. Good luck!
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My little girl has just started daycare at 15 mths old and had adjusted much easier than her brother did when he started at two. I think I read somewhere that girls are often ready a bit sooner? (and I have been lucky that I only work 2 days a week).
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I have just started my second blog! This blog is a personal one where I can write, vent, and (hopefully) connect with other women.
It’s a big step for me to write so openly and honestly – I’m normally a quiet, shy kind of person who keeps to myself. But so far, I’m enjoying it.
If anyone would like to read, it’s here: http://perthwife.wordpress.com
Also, if anyone has any advice on personal blogging, I’d LOVE to hear it! This is still very new to me so I need all the help I can get!
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Love the layout, perthwife. There’s nothing like a white canvas. Count me in as a regular reader. xx
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excellent. i love reading new blogs!!
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Just had a read and it looks great. I’ve subscribed!!
Isn’t blogging a bit addictive. I’d like to get my followers up, not for any reason than it’s an ego boost. I don’t feel like I have anything spectacular to say, but some people say they like to read it. I’ve had over 4000 views in 2 years which I am pretty chuffed at. But hubby has technical blog and he has has 13,000 this year alone! humf.
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what’s your web address???
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Thanks for the support.
Yes, blogging is addictive. I think this blog may be even more addictive than my other blog as I can be more myself rather than keep to technical writing.
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I am filled to the brim with pride and excitement! My little brother’s band have just released their first promo video and it’s pretty special. He truly is one of the great loves of my life.
If you have a spare three minutes, I’d love you to have a gander:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DTceyZEuAk
FYI, my brother’s name is Dom. The kid with all the hats.
xx
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What an incredible clip! Your brother is gorgeous and you should be so proud. I feel like I want to get to know them.
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What an amazing and chilled video. They all look so comfortable and all the smiling made me smile
I really liked that song at the end of the clip “we are young…” the lyrics are straight from the heart. Plus I love the Jezabels too!
Do they have a cd? I would love to hear more!
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Aw that video is so cute! Its like a light switch for some of them – magic.
OMM this week: My own bubba. He/she has been kicking up a storm in my belly lately. Just this last week it feels a lot more frequent, stronger and sometimes weirder! One more week and we’re in the third trimester – exciting and scary all at once.
We need to make a start on the nursery I think too. Originally waiting to see if we were going to move which hasn’t happened yet and I’m not keen on moving to close to when bub’s due so I think we’ll need to do a clean out and rearrange a few things in our teeny apartment and squeeze bub in somewhere!
I’m not sure if its baby brain, pregnancy tiredness or whether I’m just a slack person at the moment but I can’t seem to focus at work. I don’t have heaps on my plate at the moment which is good considering this state of mind but all I’m day dreaming about lately is the baby and the future and cleaning (yes cleaning!) and buying a car (ours died awhile ago, still haven’t replaced it) and just generally sorting out our lives. I think I’m definitely doing to female thing mentioned in Mia’s article the other day. Need to balance it out with some living in the present moments – otherwise how will I get all those future ideas done?
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It’s great to see Tara Lynn on the cover of Elle. In the end, there will always be more smaller bodies seen in magazines, but a mixture is really what everyone wants.
On my mind right now, is a guy I met yesterday, ticked all the boxes (I’m using that phrase despite not really having a list!), he works next door to my work, but the place is massive, so who knows if I’ll see him again, but just… nice, confident, cute… Let me have my crush for a few days until it wears off, unless I see him again
Also, on my mind is that I’m so tired! I’ve had a bad nights sleep three nights in a row and it’s so frustrating… so can’t be bothered for gym tonight but I’ll go!
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OMM: i still feel really direction-less. I’m going back to uni and honestly cannot wait to start and also to start working in a related field to what i’m going to be studying but with no experience or qualifications i’m finding it really hard to find anything. I really hate my job and today it’s just gotten alot worse. I can’t afford to quit without another job lined up but i feel this place is slowly killing me.
also OMM, i barely see my boyfriend anymore. Our work/life schedules just don’t match anymore. I see him for a couple of hours during the week but i get home at 6, he’s alseep by 8.30 so we haven’t bothered seeing each other during the week anymore. On weekends i only really see him if we’re going out with other people. I feel like we’re growing apart but I honestly don’t know how to fix it. He works 7 days a week and we live an hour apart so it’s not like we can just spend time together whenever it arises.
xxxmissvxxx.wordpress.com
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What about making the next step and moving in together?
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we’ve talked about it and we’ve decided to both stay at home and save so we can buy a place. The good thing is that the 7 day a week isn’t permanent but its hard for now.
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“Why does she need to be known at “The Body”? ”
Has anyone told Elle M? I thought she brought out her lawyers the last time another model was called The Body.
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Every time I see photos of the Mamamia office, I get stressed looking at all the power cables lying everywhere. Pleeeaaassee tidy them you guys!
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OMM: Need advice from anyone who takes the Pill continuously/seasonally or has got pregnant on the Pill.
I take it three-monthly due to endometriosis. The last few weeks I have had some symptoms that could be pregnancy: cramping (like I’m about to have a period), discharge (more than normal), extreme fatigue (though I have been busy), back ache, mild nausea when I get hungry, dizziness/heart palpitations in the mornings. I also would normally be experiencing breakthrough bleeding at this point in my artificial three-month cycle, but so far, not a thing, which I think is odd. (I’ve been doing this cyclic thing for 12 years now, and I have a fairly good idea about how it responds!) I have also been doing stuff that my husband jokes is ‘baby brain’, such as leaving the iron on all night (I NEVER do that!)
Given my state of mind about maternal urges (sorry if everyone is sick of it!) is it possible I am creating these symptoms? Although I noticed them all separately before I put two and two together…maybe the urges are because of pregnancy, rather than because I want to get pregnant??
Also, given that I have no idea when I could have got pregnant (as long as 10 weeks, which I doubt, but probably 4-6 weeks), when should I test? Or do you think I should simply wait until I attempt to have a period?
Thanks everyone!
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Heart palpatations? Go to your doctor immediately! And get a pregnancy test while you’re there!
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have a bleed – stop taking the pill for a week and if your really worried have a test.
early signs of pregnancy- A high soft cervix that is closed- google it and have a feel. Really sore breasts, purple veins in your breasts prominent.
it is really unlikely if you have taken your pill correctly. So why not go see th G.P
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Rach, pregnancy tests are so cheap and so available there is no reason to wait! Just grab a test and you will soon know whats going on down there. Best wishes for a good result
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i was put on the pill for very severe endometriosis and it worked. But it took a few different types to find the right one. I had horrid, really terrible, side effects on some of them. After a few tries they put me on a low dose one which I had no side effects with, it was great. And i used it constantly – no period breaks.
It doesn’t seem that you have found the right one yet. Focus on that. When you do find the right pill it’s fantastic, it totally cured my endometriosis which was so terrible.
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My sister recently found out she was pregnant – and was 29 weeks along when she realised. She had been taking the pill continuously too. So it might be worth doing a pregnancy test
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On my mind at the moment: I applied for an (unpaid) internship with a magazine company, I sent my resume through on the website that it was advertised on, but I feel like it’s going to be very popular and I wanted to do something extra to show that I’m really interested. I was thinking of sending the lady an email as well, just to show how keen I am but I don’t want to come off as annoying and I wouldn’t know what to say! Any advice?
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Squeaky door gets the oil!
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Mia writes in one of her books that she was mailed a resume with a reference from Rupert Murdoch (I think the writer was Zoe Foster and I could be wrong about Murdoch but you get the drift). Mia says she was so impressed she granted the writer an interview. It turns out the reference was just a ploy to get an interview, but it worked! Worth a try?!
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Hey MellyBunny, I say you’ve got to make yourself stand out! It’s easy to miss an email, what about a phone call or sending something snail mail? That’s worked for a couple of my friends. Otherwise I once heard about a man who let down the car tyres of the person who was hiring, so he could “accidentally” walk by, offer assistance and start chatting. But maybe that’s a bit extreme?!
Sounds like you’ve got it under control
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I have been in very senior management positions and then run my own companies – have hired quite a few staff.
You need to tell them what you can do to make their day, job, company, life better. Even if yr not experienced – tell them that you’ll clean out the fridge, set up new systems, take on tasks that no one else wants – anticipate what they may require; you will look for jobs that need doing rather than wait until told to do something…
Focus on making their life/day easier – that’s what bosses and companies want and need to hear. But it hardly ever happens. All job applications are about them – how they want the job to improve their life/career etc.
Turn it around and make it about how you can and will make their life better.
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Thanks for the help everyone!
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I have a strange OMM, undies. Do people hand undies down through siblings? Wouldn’t it be gross to have to wear someone else’s old undies? What do you do with them if they are too small? Is it bad to chuck them and get the next kids their own?
also, that baby staring competition is the funniest thing I have seen all day..
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Undies are the only things that haven’t been handed down from my daughters. News undies for each of them.
And with girls who wear skirts and dresses, undies can get so ruined from mucking around at the playground. There are no shorts or jeans to cover them and they are at full exposure to tan bark and all the rest. They look a bit worse for wear after a while.
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I have a boy, then a girl, so I have never handed undies down. But I’m sure if I had two of one sex, I would for sure. They would probably get mixed up in the washing anyway (especially when they got older and started wearing the same size.) Why throw out a perfectly good pair of undies?!
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I have two boys, and was able to hand some down when they were younger. However, my youngest son has a totally different build than my oldest, so often the elastic had perished before youngest had reached the size. I ended up pitching them.
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3 girls …..never handed down undies. Each daughter has her own undies, now that 2 are in the same size they are even labelled with their initials.
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I have two girls.
I don’t hand down undies. Little girls undies get a lot of wear and tear.
I throw them out. I would donate to charity but i would think they wouldn’t except them. I’m happy to hand down most other things.
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Each to their own. I have three girls and one underwear drawer. They all share, except for the obviously small ones which only the littlie wears. The older two girls are pretty much the same size, even though they are a couple of years apart.
They do seem to have favourites though, so I can kind of give each the undies that they like.
It’s just not a big deal for our family! I guess there will come a point in the years ahead where we will seperate them out.
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I’m home from work today as I sprained my foot the other day. It probably has more to do with the fact that I’m stubborn and kept training (I run, swim or do some form of exercise everyday) and at the moment I can’t. I am bouncing off the walls!!
So off to the physio today before it gets any worse and hopefully the weather stays sunny so I can swim and stay off the foot to avoid anymore damage.
Other than that, I spent a lovely weekend with my baby sis. She’s 12 years younger than me (almost 15 now) and she stays over at my flat once a month. I just love having her around and her bubbly personality is infectious. When she went home she sent me a text at 10.30 that evening saying ‘I love you’ it made me so happy. I really am very lucky to have her as my sister.
Hope all you cool cats are having a good week xx
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Loved your article this week Rose, keep up the great writing! Always good to read things from a different perspective
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Thanks Holly, you’re a gem x
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Me, too. I wanted to comment but I think I was a little late to the party. Can’t wait for the article about visiting brothels (that you really must write because I am very intrigued)!