Keep it ‘classy’, insists Kochie.
BY MIA FREEDMAN
Oh Kochie. Kochie, Kochie, Kochie.
Thank you, I guess. It’s never a bad thing to remind people of the olden days, when men were men and women were……mostly invisible.
When the only depiction of breasts that was acceptable was the sexy kind. When the idea of a woman using her bosom to feed her baby was….you know….yucky.
It’s good to remember those times because it’s a reminder of how utterly absurd they were. And how anyone who still thinks that way is, well, old. Or at least, old fashioned to the point of being way out of step with modern attitudes.
So Kochie, I guess we shouldn’t be THAT surprised by your attitude……
Responding to a story on Friday’s Sunrise breakfast program about Liana Webster, the Bribie Island woman who was forced to leave her local pool after a complaint was made about her breast feeding in public.
Yes. She had the AUDACITY to feed her hungry baby with her own body. At which point Kochie opened his mouth and inserted first one foot and then the other.
“I totally think women should be able to breastfeed in public but I just think they should be a bit classy about it.”
He has two breastfeeding daughters, he points out. But he says if they breastfeed in restaurants, they turn their chairs around.
His problem, he says, is with ‘high traffic areas’. I have no idea what that actually means unless he doesn’t want women to breastfeed in the middle of a road for safety reasons. But I don’t think that’s what he meant.
Here I am breastfeeding in my lounge room, a low traffic area. PHEW.
As I’ve written previously, with over three years of breastfeeding on my CV (not consecutively and not of the same child), there’s not a public place where I haven’t breastfed or expressed. Beaches, planes, shopping centres, parks, airports, restaurants, BBQs, offices, cafes, meetings, parties, weddings, funerals, churches, synagogues…and frankly, I couldn’t care less who was watching.
Oddly enough, I tended to prioritise my baby’s immediate needs over the Elizabethan prudishness of people who have a problem with boobs being used for their natural function. I’m zany like that.
When I’m breastfeeding, my breasts are about as sexual to me as a bowl of Weet Bix. Because that’s exactly what they represent to my baby. Sustenance. Not sex.
I also find the term ‘public breastfeeding’ amusing. Those who oppose it (or express the need for it to remain ‘classy’) always exude a fearful, vaguely alarmed vibe, as if there are groups of marauding mothers using their babies as an excuse to flash their lactating breasts in strangers’ faces: “I know! Let’s meet at Westfield! The first person to flash their leaky nipple to 100 shoppers wins a toasted sandwich!”
As for the suggestion by some that breastfeeding should happen in toilets, I totally agree. As soon as those same people are happy to have their morning coffee made, served and drunk in a toilet cubicle, we shall happily breastfeed right alongside them.
And using ‘mothers’ rooms’ (which tend to be ghastly places), isn’t always possible, particularly if you have more than one child.
My other favourite thing is when people say mothers should be discreet. Or ‘classy’ as Kochie put it.
This is also true. There are far too many breastfeeding women who brazenly strip naked to the waist in public each time their baby grizzles. Have you seen them throw their bosoms around with gay abandon while waving their arms in the air like they just don’t care?
What is wrong with these women? Why do they derive so much pleasure from being almost nude in public? Oh wait. They’re not and they don’t. Breastfeeding mothers feed our babies as quickly and quietly as possible because THEY ARE HUNGRY and SO THEIR CRIES DON’T DISTURB YOUR VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC BUISNESS such as texting someone while you sip your skinny latte and flick through a newspaper in a coffee shop.
Selfish exhibitionists, yes we are.
If you’re interested, there’s a public ‘nurse-in’ outside the Sunrise studio on Monday morning. You can find details on this Facebook page.
Viva la boobies.
And these are pictures from the Nurse In protest in Sydney.
The Sunrise Nurse In.
Comments
792 Comments so far
Mia Mia Mia, thank you so much. I am so passionate about women’s freedom to feed their babies whenever and wherever they please with comfort and respect and I wholeheartedly thank you for this article. Feed on ladies, feed on.
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Personally I find the sight of a person walking along the street eating a drippy kebab pretty gross. Could Kochie take up that battle on my behalf?
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Yeah, or smoking, swearing or spitting in public. Lets address that abomination before cursing mothers caring for their babies (just as most of our mothers did when we were babies).
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Agree with Kate. Who’s for a sit in outside of Ali Baba’s?
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That was a very funny post, well written, and pulls no punches.
For the record,I am a 50yr old man and agree with everything you wrote.
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Yes I’m old and out of date but does that mean I have to change my long held perception when I watched my mum discretely breast feed all by five younger siblings. Ah I hear you say, “get back in your cave.” But why is it that my 30 year old daughter in law still breast feeds discretely. Is she a bit old fashioned, maybe but that’s her decision. Crazy world.
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I actually think the uncomfortableness that some people feel when in the company of breast feeders, is more to do with the act of feeding than the breasts themselves. And that turns this discussion into a whole different direction. Images of breasts surround us everywhere, walk down a beachside street and there are plenty of women walking around in tiny bikinis, there are billboards advertising underwear, and masses of TV shows showing full breast images. I see very limited outrage about these types of breast exposure. So why is a mother feeding so different? Maybe because we have been conditioned to think that it is something to be done discretely, in private, keep it quiet if you do it for longer than 12 months, etc etc. This is insane. The only way to address this conditioning is to support women feeding wherever / whenever they need to. I have fed three very hungry boys, and of course I don’t want to flash everyone my engorged, stretch marked boobs, but when bub is screaming and the toddler needs entertaining while I feed (try turning the pages of a book, holding bub and trying to keep your clothes in place to prevent exposure), then I couldn’t give a toss who is offended!
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Oh man, I wish I was still breastfeeding, I’d be down there Monday morning with bells on.
And I agree Mia, I have never seen a woman throwing open her shirt, undoing her bra and breastfeed half naked, it just doesn’t happen.
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Looking forward to seeing all the boobies on Monday on my way to work… may have to stroll leisurely to take it all in…
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Can I just ask, how old are you Male? And I’m only asking because my 9 year old calls them “boobies” too.
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Older than 9, younger than 90… my age is fluid, dependent upon who I am talking to at the time.
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It would be great if MM could add a snippet of video footage of Kochie talking about this. As he said on his Twitter shortly after, many outraged people are hearing his comments second or third hand and reaching unfounded conclusions. I feel this article misrepresents what he actually said, and therefore most of the comments below are quite unfair and not relevant to him.
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While it is a program I never watch, I looked this up and watched the video and I DID see and hear what Mr. Koch said and this is not a misrepresentation.
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That he even raised the issue shows his attitude to breastfeeding. It’s the public pool he should’ve condemned not the issue of whether when feeding to do it classily. I find seeing parents feed their toddlers chips and soft drink repulsive and disgusting. I’m always delighted to see a mother nurture her child.
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I watched it live and feel surprised at his comments from the outset. He only back pedalled when the other presenters and emails came through.
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You probably are not allowed to eat or drink sitting on the side of the pool either. There is a thing called safety, the reasons we are asked not to do something are not always about sexist attitudes. If her baby was injured by a ball thrown, or dropped into the water, the mother would no doubt be take legal action against the pool.
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I sit with my baby on the edge of the pool all the time, neither of us have ever been hit, he’s never fallen in, we’ve never been pushed. It is not a safety issue. I’ve never been asked to move, this is a breastfeeding issue. Anyway it’s probably better for the baby to fall in water then in the concrete of a mothers room! I’ve never heard of a nursing mother dropping thier baby – we tend to hang on to those things! If the baby did fall in due to some freakish accident I’m sure the mother would, um I don’t know, pick the baby up.
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I agree Abby – it wasn’t a safety issue – the pool attendant suggested she move to another area and cover the baby with a towel. It was a condescending smack down of the public boob.
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I’d like to hear from the person who objected to her feeding and the reason for the objection. Where are they? Being very silent and too gutless to face the media.
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I agree Abby, this is entirely a breastfeeding issue. I’ve never been told to move from the edge of the pool while holding my baby, never been told to not sit in the shallow end while holding my baby, this is not about safety, this is about breastfeeding.
If she had of been bottle feeding in the same spot, I doubt anything would of been said.
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A breast feeding mother is not gazing intently at her child while feeding with a blindfold on to what is happening in the world around her, often she is doing multiple things whilst feeding (shock horror even keeping lookout for a stry incoming ball). If she is at a pool with multiple children she may even be supervising other children whilst feeding. Is it in the interest of safety for her to leave other children unsupervised in water to feed in a dirty toilet? Is it in the interest of safety to have a hungry baby screaming distracting not only her but other supervising adults? This isnt an issue! Feed the baby when it wants to be fed.
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Are you suggesting it would have been safer for her to not supervise her other two young children who were swimming in the pool?
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lesh I think you need to reread the comment….she was suggesting the opposite!
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She wasn’t suggesting the opposite, Iesh is spot on. People can debate how safe it is to BF a baby on the side of a pool, but it’s definitely safer than leaving your other kids alone in the pool unsupervised while you take the baby off to a mothers room.
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I don’t have a strong opinion on this either way – I think people shoudl do what they want.
But I have problems with people saying we should be careful not to breastfeed because it makes people uncomfortable.
It’s a bit too get-your-burka on for me – worrying about other people looking at something they dont’ want to look at. Ummm…don’t look!?
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Three breast feeding articles in a week…this is getting boring.
Imagine the uproar from the breast is best brigade if there were three bottle feeding articles in a week!
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Bottle feeding doesn’t need any promotion because at 6 months of age the majority of babies are being bottle fed and only half of our babies are breastfed by 6 weeks. The formula companies are doing quite well without Mia’s help.
We also need a cultural shift towards acceptance of breastfeeding and discussions like this go towards that, boring and repetitive or not.
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Just like Kochie can choose not to look at breastfeeding mothers if he finds it uncomfortable, you could always choose not to read articles/posts you find repetitive.
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I’m going to go ahead and compare breast feeding to doing my insulin injections in public. I’m a type 1 diabetic and have to inject myself whenever I eat. Some people find my needles ‘offensive’, but I am extremely subtle about it – I don’t prime it in their face or anything. If people ever tell me to go to the toilet to do it, I crack it. I’m doing what I have to do to keep myself alive, and trying my hardest not to draw attention, if you STILL have a problem just look the hell away! I’m not shoving my needle in your face, most people barely notice what I’m doing!
I think it’s the same as breast feeding in a way. You’re doing what you have to do, feed your baby. If people are uncomfortable about seeing as much boob as you can see in a low cut top, then just look away. It’s not like breast feeding mothers are whirling around their boobs and squirting you all with milk! If you have a problem with beast feeding but don’t have a problem with bikini tops, then you are a hypocrite
grow up!
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Yes I’d agree there are similar attitudes to insulin injections. I’ve certainly heard people get huffy about where and how diabetics inject – but have only ever known one girl who liked to do hers in the most public place possible (every day left her own desk to sit at a central meeting table in our office, would line up all her gear and sigh loudly at every part of the process.)
A few years ago I sat outside at a wedding to feed the bub (had tried to feed inside but he was too distracted). My diabetic uncle came and joined me and said ‘Do you mind if I do this (inject) while you do that?’ We both had a giggle that the activities that provided life could be viewed as offensive.
Go for it Georgie – I hope attitudes change for you
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When I was about 16, I was at the Australian Open and a guy sitting next to me injected himself with inuslin. I remember being fascinated at how subtly and discreetly he managed to do it. I only saw because we were sitting so close together, no one else would have noticed. I told him that I was impressed by how discreetly he did it and he replied, ‘Well I’m not going into the bathroom and missing Sampras,” and grinned at me.
Do it where you need to!
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Love your writing Mia . Agree 100%.
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I generally find the whole discussion on breast feeding in public overblown and hysterical.
Since when did a woman’s right to breast feed in public (which I fully support), preclude those same breast feeding woman from showing a bit of care and respect for the fact that a lot of people are uncomfortable with breast feeding in public? The two are not mutually exclusive.
Were it not possible to discreetly breastfeed then I would be front and centre in support of woman doing so. But in circumstances where there are so many options available to do so discreetly (wraps, baby rooms etc.) why do the breast feeding army all come accross so selfish and self righteous as to deliberately make other people uncomfortable when it is so simple to not?
Just a thought, I am sure others will disagree.
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Breastfeeding is discreet though. It’s not as if you get your boob out, shoot some milk around and yell “Come and Get it, kids!”.
All the constant claims that people can do it if they’re discreet are largely null, because the vast, vast majority of women just get their bub on and settled as quickly as possible.
Parents rooms are hideous. But you’re very welcome to go and have your lunch in one.
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I agree – parents rooms are horrible. They’re mainly used for changing dirty nappies and therefore don’t smell very pleasant. I’ve never breastfed in one, and would probably only do so if I wasn’t able to find anywhere else to sit down. Plus, some of the parents rooms in my area only have nappy changing facilities. There’s simply nowhere to sit even if I did want to feed in there.
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Yes but a wrap in intense heat is barbaric for both mother and child, and not very practical for bigger babies, parents’ rooms are often foul, and quite frankly, no one complains in the same way about topless sunbathers at the beach so why on earth should this be an issue?
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I was a member of the ” breastfeeding army”, but I never thought I was being selfish or self righteous when I breastfed, I thought I was just feeding my baby. Next time you see one of those women “deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable”, don’t look, walk on, and leave the woman alone to feed her baby, which I’m sure, is all she’s trying to do.
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I was breastfeeding my 10 month old in my sister-in-law’s kitchen the other day, chatting, having a cup of tea. Both of her teenage sons wandered into the kitchen to get something to eat, chatted to me and their mum for five minutes, got their food and went back out to watching tv. It was very clear what I was doing. Their eyes flicked over me when they walked in and they didn’t even react like you may expect.
If only Kochie could be as mature as these teenage boys.
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I have four kids and breastfed for over ten years (close to consecutively). I also have always hated my breasts and am quite prudish about nudity, so breastfeeding in public took courage for me to do, but I did it, like Mia, almost everywhere over my breastfeeding career. With my first baby when men would look (as sometimes they did, not even sure they meant to), I was embarrassed even though I would be showing very little. My confidence grew over time though and I realised that I was just doing what I needed to do. Most women try for a discrete feed, we’re trying to feed our babies after all, not put on a show, but it can get pretty hard to be discrete once the babe is distractible! I know I rarely fed my kids in public after they were 18m, as the looks of disgust with a bigger child weren’t worth it. But when my eldest was a few months off three and was in hospital with a serious disorder she wouldn’t eat but would feed and the nurses and doctors all told me what a fabulous thing it was I was still feeding. It was the first time in many months I’d not had to hide the fact that I was still feeding her and it was crucial nutrition at a time where she couldn’t/wouldn’t eat. There is far too much stigma around breastfeeding. It needs to stop.
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I really relate to this. Am only feeding my first baby but it took a while to get to the point where I don’t feel self conscious feeding in public. having faily big boobs makes it tricky to be really discrete at times, but I try.
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I lived in Scotland when my first child was born in 1999. I was asked on a snowy winter’s day to go outside to feed him when I was breastfeeding at the National Gallery one quiet Sunday (he was two months old and SCREAMING; I was sitting with my back to the art facing the wall in the corner of the room so as to do the hideous deed, and did I mention it was SNOWING outside where I was asked to feed him?) A good friend from mothers group started feeding her babe of a similar age when we were on a bus together once, again b/c the child was screaming so hard it was upsetting for all around. The driver stopped the bus, stood up, and told her to stop or he’d throw her off.
I hoped we’d left all this behind. Sadly, it seems we haven’t. I’m sure it’s been said lower down, but Kochie- you’re a Koch.
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I remember breastfeeding my twins in the 70′s on a bus in Perth and no drama at all. In fact the reason I remember it was because of a lovely chat I had with an older woman. I was never told I couldn’t feed, what’s happened!
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I breastfed my 3 mth old son sitting on a stool in big w shoe aisle today while my other 2 kids tried on school shoes. I could have been “classy” about it and sat in the car in 38′ deg heat as the only parents room nearby was a disabled toilet with a toilet to sit on !! I think I chose the classier option !
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This is just so wrong!
Kochie is SUCH a supporter of breastfeeding! He has three gorgeous daughters who has backed so awesomely, and as he said, currently has two of them breastfeeding. I’m not at all surprised that they try to be a bit discreet when nursing in a restaurant with their Dad. Wouldn’t you do the same? I’m like that with my Father In Law at least. Of course I nurse in public whenever and wherever I need to, but I think it would be unkind to do so in a way that would make him (and others) uncomfortable. Surely taking the feelings of others into account is in fact the classy thing to do? When you can take everyone into account (feed your bub AND do it without causing embarassment to others) why wouldn’t you? That would be very rude.
Keep calm and nurse on.
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Thank you for injecting some common sens into this debate, the hysteria from the lobbyists who have hijacked the argument is quite boring
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I just have to say that his attitude comes as no surprise to me. This is a man who is paid more than his female cohost, when they do exactly the same job. On a similar note, I find the Girls on the grill & Kochie’s Angels segments VILE! They are so condescending and demeaning. The “logical” man sits there listening to what the “outspoken” woman have to say, laughing at them occasionally. It’s like Karl & Kochie are doing them a favour by listening. It’s disgusting.
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How much is Kochie paid per annum? How much is Mel? Very interested to hear what the disparity is here.
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Mel earns $700,000 a year. David Koch earns $1,000,000 a year.
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Doesnt Koshie do the business programs as well though? Like all equal pay debates, helps if you compare apples and apples.
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Yes, he does. However Mel also hosts other programs like ‘The Zoo’. So they both have other roles within the network, why should Mel earn less then.
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Market forces. If kochie is better liked by the public he may be considered more valuable to the station than Mel. Especially since you are comparing different tv shows in the zoo and koch’s small business show. He also writes finance articles and opinion pieces for various publications- it’s possible that his public persona affords him a more visible public imagethan her. Why does Anne Hathaway get paid more than, for example, Frances mcnormand for her movies when Frances as an Oscar and Anne, as yet, does not? Because Anne gets bums on seats.
People watch that terrible show more for kochie than Mel. That’s why he gets paid more.
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I think this is a bit much. He supports breastfeeding in public. He likesit to be done discreetly.This is his opinion which he is paid a lot if money for.
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Isnt this a bit of a storm in a tea cup? He supports feeding in public. I didn’t see the segment- did he explain what “classy” meant?
I BF both my kids past their first birthdays, where ever and whenever it was needed (parks, coffee shops, planes, bbqs etc), but I would say I tried to be modest about it not because I was sensitive to anyone else about flashing a nipple, but I didn’t particularly want to flash my post pregnancy body to the general public. I never received a negative comment, ever.
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This article is not factually correct. The woman was not ever asked to leave or stop breast feeding at any stage. She was requested by a life guard to please stop breast feeding her child whilst sitting on the edge if the pool dangling her feet in the water and to move to the seating provided due to safety concerns. What age did was dangerous and she didn’t use common sence, she put her child at risk and rather then take responsibility for that pulled the breast card and you have all fallen for it.
Koshie was simply stating that woman shouldn’t flip it out in front of everyone but rather be descent nothing wrong with that especially when all my breast feeding friends and family agree 100% with him.
Also I couldn’t breast feed at all and the disgusting way I was treated by woman who could or where breast feeding was aweful. Why is it ok to slam, disrespect a woman who bottle feeds but his forbid anyone asks a breast feeding woman to think of the people around her?? Hypocritical comes to mind!!!
This has been blown way out of proportion and taken out of context I guess just another thing for woman to bitch about!!! People have a right to an opinion respect that!!!
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If she was sitting there anyway, why wasn’t she told to move away with an 11 month old NOT attached to her boob and being held?
Most women don’t “flip it out” to feed their kids – they have the bub all ready to go and then boob comes out, quickly goes in, and off they go. As someone who has seen so much breastfeeding, you’d know that though.
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Lovely lady if what you are saying is correct, and this is infact the true version of events, I’ve lost a lot of repect for Mia and this website. Because that is completely different to saying what this article claiming. Breast feeding on the side of a public pool is completely different. I would be concerned seeing that myself.
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Very often the fact get lost in these type of feminist outrage articles, in a haze of frothing mouthes and gnashing teeth. As soon as the ‘sexist’ flag is waved, no questions are asked, it is just a feeding frenzy, with usually more offensive, sexist / ageist / faith based bigotry said back at the person being talked about, without a second thought, just because they dared to have an opinion. But it is fine to direct that at a ‘sexist’, as they just deserve it, they just do huh.
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Yes! I do wish commenters were discerning enough to listen to his actual comments before jumping on Mia’s bandwagon.
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I’ve watched the segment with the interview with Liana and the Kochie’s Angels clip as well. Am I qualified?
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Agree! I’m no great fan of Kochie’s and I am a breastfeeding Mum at the moment BUT seriously, I do get the feeling that this is a big overreaction and maybe, just maybe Mia is sensationalising things just a wee bit? Makes a ‘good’ story….
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Have you guys seen the clips in question? There is no misrepresentation. And the looks on Samantha Armytage and the “angels” faces and their disagreement with him are no different to others disagreeing and commenting.
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anon….why would you be concerned about a woman best feeding on the edge or a pool? what possible concerns could there be? please dont pull the safety issue because there simply isnt one! if the baby falls Im pretty sure the mother will pick it up! i sit on the edge of a pool and dangle my feet each week at my childrens swimming lessons, i talk on the phone and drink from a water bottle, I often will have the four year old come sit on my knee….NOT ONE gaurd has asked me not to do so in the four years we have been attending our weekly lessons…FYI I bf on the side of the pool also!
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I have been asked not to sit by the pool with my baby while not breastfeeding. I was actually just helping my son for a minute with his goggles and had no intention of loitering, but I agree it is risky and the lifeguards are there to protect people. The guy was doing his job. I think the breastfeeding angle has been overblown – if she was holding a baby without feeding her, then she probably would have been asked to move too.
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But she wasn’t asked to move the baby – she was asked to cover up. That’s why the whole safety issue is a crock.
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Why would she be asked to move? Aren’t parents with babies allowed at pools now? I’ve taken my kids to the pool for as long as I can remember, and I’ve never once been asked to not sit on the edge while holding them. I’ve never heard of it or seen it happen either.
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Really? I saw the woman interviewed and she claimed that she got asked to breastfeed elsewhere because someone else at the pool complained about it and when she told the attendant she was allowed to feed there, she was told it was a “grey area”, pool representatives did not speak to a news crew. Now unless you were there and privy to the whole incident,I don’t know why you think you know more about it.
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Where are all these women, who treat people who are bottle feeding their babies so disgustingly?? I have never heard or seen anyone disrespecting anyone bottle feeding.
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Ha…you obviously didnt bottle feed then! I copped it on day 4 from the Maternal Child Health Nurse.
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I got told asked by an interfering old lady “how could i put that POISON into my child???” while I was bottle feeding in a cafe.
I lied and said that it would be a little weird if I breastfed him since he wasn’t my child. lol.
It happened again about a month later with another woman who said something to the same degree.
Oh and it also happened when I bottle fed him at the hospital. The nurse came in and told me I must not love my child enough if I didn’t breastfeed. nice.
Also whenever my child has a cold/bump on the head/goes to the dentist/health nurse/GP for absolutely anything wrong, it is because I didn’t breastfeed. What I horrible mother I am! I had one nurse tell me his hair wasn’t growing fast enough because I didn’t breastfeed. whaaat???
I dont think it matters what you do, some people think it is their right to tell you that you are doing it wrong. You can’t win.
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I wondered the same and checked the lady’s facebook page on the issue and the whole ‘its for safety’ was only mentioned by the pool AFTER the publicity (backtracking anyone??). She was asked to move/cover up because she was breastfeeding.
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We need to be respectful of others in the community, some of whom (rightly or wrongly) may not feel comfortable with the exposure of breasts. While breasts may not feel ‘sexy’ to nursing mums, the fact is that breasts DO have another role in our society.
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“Breasts have another role in our society” – are you freaking kidding me? Breasts are for FEEDING BABIES. I cannot believe some people’s argy bargy at them being used for their natural purpose.
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Yes, and if you don’t feel comfortable with the fact that they have dual roles (the PRIMARY function being that biologically women have milk ducts/breasts in order to feed babies)…then that is YOUR issue to deal with. Not mine. Or any other mother comfortable breastfeeding legally in public. It’s like saying I don’t feel comfortable seeing people in short shorts in public or some such other nonsense, and then advocating legislation to prevent their wear in public.
All of this furore because a few people are too stuck on sex to get their mind off anything else when they see a breast!
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Some cultures living here don’t recognise Christmas – shall we cancel that? Force shops not to play carols?
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I thought it was illegal in Aus to “ban” any breastfeeding from anywhere?!!!
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I had my first solo outing with my firstborn daughter when she was a week old. I went back to the hospital to have her hips ultra sounded. Poor little thing was crying so as soon as it was over I took myself into the cafe, ordered coffee and cake and sat down. It was also my first public feeding experience.
She latched straight on and the crying stopped. A gentleman in his 80s walked past, winked and said “She’s a happy girl now”! His supportive comment set the tone for the rest of my breastfeeding experience.
Like Mia, and most mums, I’ve fed on planes, trains and automobiles. Shops, restaurants, getting my haircut..you name it! I even fed during my Catholic conversion classes when I used to meet weekly with a septuagenarian former high school principal!
I never encountered any negative reaction at all. EIther that or I was oblivious It helped that I had a baby with built in “nipple seeking” technology!
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My first time feeding a newborn in public was at our local train station. I was sitting there feeding the baby and feeling very self conscious and 2 construction workers came over and started asking how old she was and talking about their own kids like it was no big deal at all. It’s really great when your first experience of breastfeeding in public is a positive one.
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You guys seem to completely ignore the fact that some common cultures in Australia find it extremely offensive. They have that right. Stop forcing people to see your exposed breast.
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Which ones?
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Sure, so long as I don’t have see girls arses in what passes for shorts these days. I find that sight extremely offensive.
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No disrespect, but I’ve seen a lot of breastfeeding mothers, and I have to say i’ve never felt “forced to see someones exposed breast”. While baby is feeding, unless you get really close you actually cant see much more than if a girl was wearing a low cut top. Some people also find that offensive. Are we going to go around handing out tshirts to all those girls? There are also people who get annoyed at a crying baby in shopping centres, cafes etc, but also get annoyed at the solution (breastfeeding). So its a no win, really, isn’t it?
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People have a “right” to be offended if they so choose, but not to discriminate. Yes Australia has many different cultures; but it only has one law. Don’t like it? Don’t go out, turn away, close your eyes, or move overseas.
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Stop looking then.
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Specifically what cultures?
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People have the right to feel offended by breastfeeding in public, but not to say anything discriminatory to breast feeding mums in public. No matter what their cultural or religious sensitivies. Women’s right to breastfeed everywhere is enshrined in Australian law. So people who don’t like it had better buy some block out sunnies to cover their eyes, because breastffeding isn’t going anywhere.
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The thing is you DON’T see an exposed breast. As in Mia’s pic above, at most, what you see (if you stare hard) is the top of the breast- the nipple is in the baby’s mouth. It’s probably less revealing than the degree of bum crack you see in public on building sites. And if the baby detaches and whips its head around so quickly a poor bystander gets a horrifying glimpse of nipple (unlikely but not impossible)- well, what are these cultures that find feeding a baby so damn offensive??
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I think it’s time those ‘common cultures’ stepped into this century then….
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I think it might actually have been more acceptable to feed in public last century. If the comments here are anything to go by it seems like we are becoming more prudish about breastfeeding now then we were a couple of decades ago. It’s very odd.
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I understand that it may be offensive/upsetting to someone for cultural/religious reasons but comes down to necessity, especially when you have more than one child or other commitments – your can’t not go to anything and just stay home because you may need to feed a baby at some point. If an adult is offended, they can look away. A breastfeeding mother only means to meet her baby’s need, not to offend anyone.
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One of the few times anyone has spoken to me about breastfeeding in public was an old lady who told me that it was wonderful to see and that she had to plan her outings with her kids back in the day around feeding them.
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These cultures would also have a problem with short shorts, mini skirts and bikinis. I don’t see any of those being banned in Australia.
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I find bare breasted blokes in public more offensive. And so called mothers feeding their kids junk food offensive. Mothers and their babies have a legal right to be fed. I can’t believe it’s even an issue still in 2013. We certainly have regressed with some mores. Just waiting for Tony Abbott with a press release on this.
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Koch is charged with the duty of bringing Port Power Football Club into this century. Is that the way? What does Andrew Demetriou think of such attitudes in the AFL?
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if I go overseas, I respect the primary culture there and moderate my own behaviour accordingly – eg might be covering my head or legs, might be not drinking alcohol or avoiding public affection or swearing or chewing gum.
If other cultures come here, they must return the same respect for our majority culture. If Australia is offensive, you aren’t forced to be here. There are plenty of flights out of Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth everyday. However, I believe their are feeding mothers on those flight often as well.
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The aversion to ‘public breastfeeding’ is just so bizarre. Where does it come from? To me people who have a problem with it come across as fearful and uneasy about sexuality in general.
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Agreed. This is typical Mummy-centric opinion; some parents just can’t grasp that their child isn’t the most important thing to everyone and doesn’t negate some cultural considerations.
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But which cultures and religions don’t cop breastfeeding? People keep saying “some cultures don’t like it” but don’t say which cultures. I’ve seen women from different cultures breastfeed – Indian woman at uni, muslim lady in hijab on a bus, Asian women in shopping centres… So please, elucidate. Tell us all about these cultures. Thanks.
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I’d totally be there on Monday but as I have a 7 week old, I may just stay in bed and feed him! That said, I did my shopping in Coles the other day while feeding him. Totally cool with everyone. I was just proud I had mastered the art to be able to do so.
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There seems to be an ingrained thought in our society about women’s bodies. When the female form is exposed and portrayed in a sexual way it is desirable and completely acceptable as advertising on a massive public billboard. But anytime the female body is not seen as sexual (breastfeeding, menstruation, giving birth) it is met with disgust and apparently should be kept private or not spoken about.
I’ve never seen any public breastfeeding where a mother has ‘let it all hang out’ so-to-speak. And if people have an issue with getting a glimpse of a bit of side boob, maybe it’s time to pull your head out of your arse and realise there are bigger issues in the world, like women in Africa who CAN’T feed their babies due to lack of nutrition.
As a side note it’s always amusing when men (usually middle-aged or above) make sweeping statements about women/body/issues, etc. Like when greying men debate in parliament about abortion laws or the morning after pill, knowing that their decisions will never affect them and they will never go through the experience.
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I’m no anthropologist, but I’ve always figured that boobs are sexually attractive because their being there and their size indicates a woman’s capacity to feed a baby. So I find it weird that when they’re actually doing what they’re for, it is somehow offensive.
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Men aren’t affected by abortion laws or the Pill? Takes two to tango, my dear…
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Oh, kind of like how women would be affected by vasectomies I guess? In a distant fashion they could be if they wanted children and their partner didn’t, but I don’t see many women politicians wanting to put laws in to make vasectomies mandatory or banning them altogether.
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I sincerely doubt many middle-aged men are directly affected by birth control issues.
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They are our elected representatives in parliament; what would you like them to do – get women proxies in every time an issue is about boobs, babies, or periods?
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And Mia that photo of you feeding makes me desperately want to go back nine months. I’ll never do that again and it breaks my heart.
I took so many photos feeding my last little lad. I look at them a lot.
Whenever I struggle to understand people who are so fixated on birthing and how thei rbaby was birthed etc I try to remember that feeding was my crack, even though I made a dribble of milk. And it was so important to me.
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I feel passionately about this one.
I come from a family of boobie feeders. As a girl and young woman there was always someone breastfeeding, at the bbq, church, party etc. Five aunties will do that for you. Extended feeders too. There was ALWAYS someoen feeding from when I was tiny to a grown woman.
I had difficulty with supply and would have loved to be my mum or aunties. Instead my own head screw comes from comping and being a failed feeder (11months and 7 months). But I never had trouble feeding in public. Didn’t bother me. Fed in my first meeting with the guy covering me from mat leave..the ‘embarassing’ bit was the poo splosion we both ignored down my side, not my boob.
There is no need to be classy. Far out, plenty to worry about, especially in the early days without covers and wraps in the way. Not to mention after your first trying to keep your older ones under control. Neither of mine would feed with a cover, had to stroke your face or they wouldn’t do it from a very early age.
I find this whole ‘discreet’ and ‘classy’ argument hilarious. I’m a prude. I’m a conservative dresser. I’m uncomfortable (yes, shoot me after Jamilia’s post) with skirts above the knee, strapless tops, all sorts of clothes. I don’t understand the need to flash yoruself. But it doesn’t for me relate in any way to feeding. I think its hilarious that anyone would object to less boob than you see on a beach or these days in a supermarket once covered by a babies face. It’s completely weird. We are fine with four your olds in pretend bras and minis on our tweens, but a mammory with a face attached should be ‘discreet’. I’m all for discreet in life generally….just think breastfeeding isn’t where the main game is at!
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oh Dee, that is not a ‘failed feeder’ at all! You gave your baby the best start for 11 and 7 months of their lives! I know how it gets you down- my supply ran out at 10 months both times- I pumped and pumped and tried all the tricks to up my supply, but my body couldn’t do it and I was devistated the first time that I had ‘failed’ my baby and didn’t get to my desired 12 month+ goal, but I had to rethink it all and saw, wow, I did a great job, and any months is better than no months. x
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Do you think Kochie said this knowing there was going to be a nurse-in and probably loads of extra viewers to boost their ratings just to see a live protest of his archaic and sexist comments?
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I don’t know why, but I’m reminded of the gag about the guy who goes into the corner store to buy a packet of cigarettes.
He immediately opens the pack and begins smoking while still in the store. The clerk says “you can’t smoke that in here”. The customer responds, “but I just bought the cigarettes in this store”.
The clerk says “we also sell laxatives and toilet paper”.
Guess you can’t always have it your own way, can you ?
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I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve just finished work and I’m tired or it’s just plain not making sense. What point are you trying to make?
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You are comparing feeding a hungry baby whose only food supply is their mothers milk with smoking and doing a number two in a public place???
Yes, your right, they are basically the same thing….not.
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Sorry I know this is a very important issue but I got an email earlier from Ryan Gosling and he has come up with a solution!
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Kochie is so not relevant. I feel sorry for the women who sit beside him on Sunrise and have to pander to his ego! He is redundant, reason enough to switch the TV off!
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Naughty Kochie !
More manufactured outrage.
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Yes, he obviously hasnt learned the lesson that, as a male, you have to see the world through feminist 101 womens study lenses, or else you are howled down as if you are a murderer, just for having an opinion on an issue that relates to women that may be different to theirs. It is such now that males dare not ever question anything at all about women ever ever ever. They have free range to do exactly as they see fit, because, you know, they are just so right all of the time about everything.
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Since when is making sure a kid is fed a feminist issue? Most blokes I know are quite keen for kids to eat.
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when the sexist card is played for all it is worth, it becomes a feminist issue. Read many of the responses about Koshie and tell me it isnt one in here.
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While it is possible that blokes can breastfeed, it IS generally women who breastfeed. So it’s women who are copping it.
Don’t try and make it into an excuse to bash feminism. While you may prefer women to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, it’s really not cool. Cheers.
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Kris, sometimes your comments just crack me up!
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LOVE LOVE LOVE
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I couldn’t BF my two boys, you’d be surprised that bottlefeeding in any of the above places gets dirty looks too
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Was it also Kochie who asked an employee how her business’ customers feel about employees breastfeeding their babies, possibly while at the desk / cash register?
The shop was Mamaway. You know, they sell nursing wear.
The employee pointed out that most mums were highly positive, even envious, since they couldn’t do the same with their own babies.
I had the laugh at the way they built up to the segment on “the business allowing employees to breastfeed at work” – then it was revealed what the business was. That’s not groundbreaking policy, so much as product demonstration!
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That’s hilarious! OUTRAGE at breastfeeding. Oh wait…
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A breast feeding mother should be able to breast feed her baby or toddler whenever and wherever she chooses. End. Of. Story. Breast feeding publicly is important as its modeling to our community how babies ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FED. Why should women have to hide this amazing feat that our bodies are capable of. We should be celebrating breastfeeding mothers out and about, not shaming them.
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It isn’t that they should be allowed – it’s illegal to ask someone to move, stop or cover up when breastfeeding.
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I’m not sure where you got the word ‘allowed’ from my post. As a breast feeding mother of over 3 years I’m certainly knowledgable about the legalities regarding breast feeding in Australia. Mia was arguing David Koch’s comment about not breast feeding in high traffic areas and that’s why I commented a women should just be able to breast feed wherever she wants without having to think about such nonsense
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It was just because you said “should be able to” and talked about it being modelling.
Re the “high traffic areas”: I’ve sat on the seat out the front of Big W and fed my daughter. I would certainly class that as a high traffic area. Does that mean I was putting her in danger too??
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I can see that people think it’s a bit silly to get all upset about an old fogey’s opinion of this issue BUT we need to keep reminding society that boobs have a function! Not for grabbing and wiggling about in music videos, but for feeding babies. And any reminder is welcome by me. I fed 2 babies when and where they needed, and yes, did get cranky stares from older men, but I am sure these men would happily google non-feeding boobies at other times.
So thanks Mia, for the reminder to everyone what boobs are for!
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Bums, penises and vaginas have a function too.
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Are they there to provide sustenance to a baby though?
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I was just pointing out that every part of our body has an important function however society still dictates that some of these need to be clothed, so not sure this ‘function’ line is a valid argument. I am not against discrete breastfeeding in public by the way.
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All the organs you mentioned get rid of waste. Boobs don’t. And if someone has their boob out feeding their baby, the product of that body part is going where it should.
What do you consider discreet breastfeeding?
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thanks Kris2040- couldn’t have said it better myself. i’m quite sick k of this word ‘discreet’. i’ve never seen a breastfeeding mum waving them about trying to gain attention for feeding her baby- it’s merely part of their everyday routine and the most important job a mother can do, and that’s providing nutrition to their offspring. if we as a society are so concerned about discreet, go get outraged about skimpy outfits and bordering-on-porographic advertising!
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An “old fogey’s opinion” ?
I’m more offended by your blatant ageism than anything likely to come out of Kochie’s mouth. And I rarely take notice of anything that comes out of his mouth.
Shame on you !
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Noun 1. fogey – someone whose style is out of fashion
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Am proudly breastfeeding my second baby. I think what I find most alarming is that his daughters turn their chairs around at restaurants when they feed their babies. So they are facing the whole rest of the restaurant?? I don’t get it. It’s ridiculous. Kochie is a silly silly man.
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I don’t think they actually turn their chairs around to a 180….get a grip! You can be discreet when breastfeeding = being classy. I fed both babies in public, but was classy about it = being discreet. if anyone sexualized my milk feeders, that’s there’s issue1
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This is ridiculous…he supports breastfeeding in public – fact. I don’t agree with you here – I think you’re over-reacting. I’ve breastfed 2 babies and when they needed feeding, they got fed – yes, wherever, wherever. It’s natural but I also didn’t draw attention to myself i.e. I was discreet.
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I was discreet…Mmm like you were trying to hide something? That makes breastfeeding shameful because you have to hide or in your words be “discreet” so know one actually knows you’re feeding your baby. That doesn’t help anyone ESP new mamas who need to see women breastfeeding their babies in order to feel normal and supported.
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Why is being discreet shameful? I often discreetly get dressed in my car in between gym/dropping kids off/going to my next location. I’m not ashamed of getting dressed, I’m just not exposing myself to the world.
Its not that I don’t think women should breastfeed in public – I do. I didn’t like doing it, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Doing it in public just wasn’t my thing.
BUT why take the adversarial approach? Anonymous was just pointing out that discretion can work in everyone’s favour. It seems you assume that if mother’s are discreet they are ashamed? Not every single person is judging women who breastfeed in public simply because they don’t champion the cause.
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Why don’t we just call it what it is? It’s just feeding your baby. That said, as a mum of three who were fed by me, I preferred to be discreet. I know others are sensitive to this and I respected their feelings. I am also quite modest. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
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It’s so ridiculous that we are even talking about this. I bet no one was offended by the young women walking around in tiny bikinis or what about the fat old guy in his speedos? But feeding a hungry child, how rude!
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Out of interest, why not compare breastfeeding to the fat old woman in a bikini? Oh, that would be sexist and offensive wouldnt it because we cant ever paint women as anything less than perfect. So the example used is ‘the young girl in bikini and the fat old man in speedos. So predictable the contributions on here sometimes.
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About as predictable as your contribution is.
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Couldn’t be offended by fat guy in speedo’s, look and you will be blinded.
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You see more breast flesh flashes on music videos than I’ve ever seen from a mother breastfeeding. Avert your eyes if you catch a glimpse of boob. We’ve all seen them – men, women & children alike.
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Love it!
I have breastfed my three babies in numerous public places and I have seen many other women doing the same, I am yet to see a womans breast while she breastfeeds, usually it’s a lovely crop of baby hair, a cute beanie or a gorgeous baldy head and a tiny little hand covering the majority of the breast area.
If i did happen to catch a glimpse of boob or (god forbid!) nipple, I would do the polite thing and look away! It’s not hard people! No one is forcing you to look!
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Thank you Mia! I’m expecting my first and was so upset to read all the anti-breastfeeding sentiment that this prompted. As if there isn’t enough for mums to worry about without some old fart on TV serving up judgement on the most natural act in the world. Your post showed me how ludicrous Koch’s comments are and put a smile on my face … Viva la boobies!
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He didnt say don’t breast feed in public, rather dont just flop a breast out with total disregard for being discrete when there are lots of people around. What is the problem with that exactly?? Hardly a 50s attitude to suggest that while you are free to feed, do it with some modesty and thought for others, especially when there are lots of people you dont know around. Because, like it or not, breasts, bums and genitals are still not freely exposed in our society. If you argue they should be Mia, then you be the first to walk topless down Pitt St Mall.
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I have never ever seen a breast feeding mum strip down to the waist and jiggle her boobs about in front of everyone in preparation for the feed. When you find this rare specimen feel free to comment about ‘discretion’, but I think you’ll find that the vast majority of women already are discrete!
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I have seen a woman do that. But in my 36 years I’ve only seen one woman do that and the rest have all been as discrete as possible. All breastfeeding women shouldn’t be lumped in with the one who has acted that way.
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I still find myself bamboozled by the fact that people still find breastfeeding offensive. Or telling women to do it discreetly. Or saying that it is something to do “in private”. It is the act of feeding a child. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is normal, natural and appropriate.
It is the act of feeding a child. Therefore, when the child is hungry it should be fed. Tell a bottle feeding mother to cover her bottle when feeding…. it is saying the same thing.
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I totally agree! I wrote this in response!! http://www.sixbythebay.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/heres-my-opinion-david-koch-shame-on-you.html
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