If only there was only a place where you could go and confess your sins, get absolved and never actually have to speak to anyone. If only.
Well there is. You can do it right here, right now on Mamamia. And what’s more you can get absolution from our readers
Based on the website Clearmyguilt.com Mamamia is opening its confessional today.
Clearmyguilt.com is a website that allows users to confess their deepest, darkest secrets without ever leaving their homes. Or their offices. Or wherever they choose to confess from – I’m betting that a lot of confessions are being made on mobile devices far, far away from the home computer.
It’s not just about making the confession though. You can actually crowd source whether you should be forgiven or not by other users of the site. There’s even a nifty section for “heaven” and “hell” where you can see the most forgivable or unforgivable sins as voted by the public.
The website was created by US university students Lonny Ruben and Ryan Charleston, who curate the sins, picking out the top 15 that they think will get the best response on the website.
Some of the confessions include:
“I am a girl and I and I get off on watching gay men have sex…what is wrong with me??”
70 people voted this unforgivable and 363 voted it forgivable.
“I have been with my husband for ten years. I have been cheating on him with the same man for the past three years. I would leave, but I don’t want my kids to be from a broken home. I love my husband, but we are not compatible, and he is horrible in bed.”
310 people voted this unforgivable and 54 voted it forgivable.
“I hide and spend money my husband doesn’t know about. I also told him we got less back on our taxes and put the money in savings because he wants to spend it on foolish things.”
55 people voted this unforgivable and 150 voted it forgivable.
There’s also a lot of infidelity. A lot.
Do you have a confession to make? Confess your sins and Mamamia readers will absolve you. Or just get a load off your chest by releasing that secret you have been carrying around.
Please remember that if you want to remain anonymous that’s totally fine. Just remember to log out before you comment so your avatar doesn’t show up.
Comments
948 Comments so far
haha ‘clear my guilt’ has crashed because of high traffic,
im guessing thats enthusiastic MM readers!
loading...
There is a good website for this sort of thing calls Secret Society of Women. It was started by Lisa Ling, and it is mostly US women getting stuff off their chest and also to find advice from the sisterhood. It pretty much covers everything, but without the “likes” and “Unlikes”. It is interesting and heartbreaking at the same time.
loading...
The best part of my working day is probably the worst part of my co-worker’s – the rare occasions it is actually revealed in any small part what a lazy, stupid idiot he is.
I can be quite manipulative I think.. I try not to be, but it still happens.
I’m not as nice to my boyfriend all the time as I should be… though in my defence, he can be very annoying. Especially with the mumbling. Stop mumbling then acting like I’m a bitch for getting annoyed, the hundredth time I ask you to repeat what you said!
loading...
OMG I have the EXACT same problem with my boyfriend!!! But he only mumbles when we’re out with other people, so then I sound like a bitch when I say ‘speak up we can’t hear you’ and then when he repeats what he said it’s at the exact same volume as before!
Fucking annoying.
loading...
I could just about flipping hit him.
I yell at him about it, often (getting more frequent unfortunately), and he makes me feel like the worst person in the world.
With my boyfriend he speaks softly AND unintelligibly, and I just about want to stop listening.
‘I can’t help it’ he says. YES you can, I used to mumble and I got over it.
Lordy, I am in a bad mood today.
loading...
I could have written that on both accounts. Scary.
loading...
I’m my boyfriends third girlfriend. He’s my first. Sometimes I want to cheat just so he can feel as insecure about not being my “one and only” as I do about him. I’d never do that, though. He deserves better than that. Lord knows he deserves much better than me.
loading...
If you know he’s doing something wrong (which you obviously do – that’s why you wrote it here), why play the pathetic card and say ‘he deserves better than me’?
loading...
I have no idea what you’re talking about in relation to my comment… I didn’t say he’s doing anything wrong? He’s great and I have awful thoughts. I’m sorry if I’m “pathetic” for thinking he deserves better than me.
loading...
Sweetie your self esteem is on the floor! You need to love yourself a bit more!
loading...
I think the point of this post is to be supportive not be bitchy.
loading...
Completely human & forgivable, but maybe a little misplaced:
your feelings of insecurity might have more to do with you feeling insecure than with him having had previous relationships.
If I had a dollar for every time I’d felt insecure about a given thing, then that thing had changed but I still felt insecure, I’d be very rich and still insecure.
Talking and getting help and exercising was better (though it still rears its head).
loading...
Yeah I definitely know what you mean… I think this one just bugs me more because it’s a recurring insecurity
And it just generally encompasses all the various things I’m insecure about.
It IS getting better though. Thank you for your comment!
loading...
I know that feeling, I had it with my first boyfriend. Stop feeling insecure, to him you are deserving (or he wouldn’t be with you) and the other people he’s been with are irrelevant.
I know this because with my current boyfriend, I’m in your bf’s position. I am pretty much his one and only and this has just made me insecure as well! I keep offering him ways out and asking if he wonders what it’s like to be with someone else, because I don’t want him realising one day that he doesn’t want to be with just one person forever, that he wants to try someone new… He just tells me to stop being silly.
So I guess there’s no perfect situation, you just have to do the best with what you’ve got. Be happy, and minimise the dwelling and insecurity in the meantime.
loading...
Thank you so much for your comment! I realise it’s not an ideal situation (particularly for us worriers) to be in either position. But at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter- I just have to keep remembering that.
loading...
I wish my MIL was dead.
In fact I pray for the day I get the phone call to say she has died.
She is evil, manipulative and only has concerns for her own well-being. She does not care that her behaviour is destroying her son.
loading...
I feel that way about my Stepmother. I even fantasize about her funeral and what I’m going to wear….
loading...
I feel like that about my partner’s wife (they are not yet divorced). We have been together two years, she refuses to sign divorce paper even though she wanted the marriage over, has taken him to the cleaners financially, is an abusive alcoholic who will not take responsibility for her actions. I detest her. I know it is unhealthy to feel this way but she does my head in!
loading...
This is the exact story of someone I know…hmmm…I wonder if it is you anon! hehe
loading...
Woah… Are you me in disguise!? Only, my partner’s wife is still in the process of financially taking him (now us) to the cleaners, and my partner and I are due for our first baby in a week or so. FFS, I wish she would exercise a thread of sense, logic and rationality!!
loading...
I often think that of my estranged SIL. She is pure evil on two legs. I couldn’t even pretend to be upset if she did. Her children are already at a young age showing signs of her highly manipulating destructive ways. The more people she comes into contact with the more lives she destroys. I despise her.
loading...
ditto to the SIL she is a pure bitch
loading...
Agreed 150% about my SIL too!
loading...
I’m with you anon. I sometimes wish my MIL would get hit by a bus.
loading...
I wish my manipulative cow (and that is severely censored) of an ex would die – in fact I often dream and fantasize about it and this started years before I finally left!
Both the kids and I would be so less screwed up if she wasn’t around. It breaks my heart to see the negative impact she has on my children and to be unable to do anything about it.
Come on stage IV colorectal cancer – she is an arsehole so I feel the punishment should fit the crime!
loading...
Today i found out my 8 round of fertility treatment has failed and i feel like leaving my husband and never having children even though I am the one with the fertility issues.
loading...
Don’t give up! My friend decided that if the 10th didn’t work, she would give up. She now has 2 babies!
loading...
I’m so sorry anon. I hope everything works out for you xxx
loading...
Thanks Mrs Average and Anonymous.x
loading...
You know, in this situation, people always seem to say “don’t give up” and then tell you a story about someone who eg finally fell pregnant after 10 yrs of IVF. But you know what, sometimes you really want to hear “it’s ok to give up”. We eventually had to give up, without success, and it was so hard to accept that, and people telling you to keep going made it worse. No offence to those who were being encouraging, I understand they mean well, and it may be what you want to hear, but I just thought I’d also add “it’s ok to give up if you need to”.
loading...
That’s great advice. Thank you you are very brave! We’ve said we’ll try until the end of this year and then give up. It’s such a rollercoaster isnt it.
loading...
After 5 years of hellish failed IVF and 3 soul destroying miscarriages, we went to the US and got pregnant with donor egg through a wonderful agency. We now have a beautiful daughter and went back to the US agency again – and now have a son.
Infertility is so friggin hard and if the donor egg didn’t work – we would have given up as well. The donor egg route was our 1 last try. Costs about $25k per cycle all up, which is massively expensive but what cost can you put on a long yearned for child? And with donor egg at this high quality agency – the success rate was over 80%
I love my children so much and they just are the essence of my life. Funny thing is – I feel like they were the kids I was always destined to have. They “fit” me so perfectly and my heart breaks into little pieces when they say “mummy i love you”. They are my sunshine and my life. They are the very essence of my soul and I will always love and nuture them. Of course they are hard work and like any mum I am tired and yearn for “me” time – but I also guess I have a different perspective cos I was so close to never being a mum.
That is the only silver lining of infertility – if you are lucky enough to get to the other side – your perspective of parenting can be very positive cos you feel so blessed.
Having said all that – it is totally OK to want to give up or to set a date of when you might stop treatment. I understand that as I felt that too.
Just thought I would run the option of Donor egg by you cos it can make all the difference if your eggs are the issue.
I really wish you all the best. I have walked miles in your shoes and I know too well all the complex emotions that infertility brings up. Like feeling like a failure as a woman, deep grief, jealousy and sometimes loathing of pregnant friends, feeling like you are letting your husband down – so may feelings.
So good luck to you Sweetie..xx
loading...
We have three boys now. IVF rollercoaster is very real. The last few implants we had I ignored the rules and made sure my husband and I had special times together eg parties few drinks dancing living a little more carelessly. At my first sons 5th birthday I couldn’t stand missing out on all the fun again, so I rode everywater slide in that park. All I kept telling myself is if I could conceived naturally I wouldn’t be missing out on all these things counting days, minuites twinges etc you know. So I know my sons first ride was at white water world 6 day old embryo. He’s now 3. We also had a date set to stop trying. I believe if this day had come I’d have been happy to say I’d given it every thing I had.
Hope this helps I also planned a few amazing os trips I was going to be able to do if I was child free. I wish you the best of luck it could have been either of you with fertility problems don’t be so hard on yourself. He obviously loves you enough to go on this journey with you. Counciling should be available to you at your clinic. It helps. Be kind to yourself I really feel for you.
loading...
Since we are confessing I may have more than a few drinks one night did feel guilty when I found out I was pregnant after living like a nun for three years prior. There I said it.
loading...
I had a friend go thru the same someone suggested giving up gluten and she now has 2 girls. Don’t give up x
loading...
Last week I was so angry with my three-year-old that I picked her up, too roughly, and put her outside my bedroom, slamming the door in her face. She cried the heart-broken sobs of someone betrayed by the person they love most in the world. But I snapped and it was all I could do to control myself. Once I calmed down I apologised and gave her a big cuddle, but the look of shock on her face and the guilt I have felt still haunts me. She wasn’t physically hurt, but I worry about the emotional scarring of having me yell at her and forcefully remove her that way. It has never happened before, and it never will again. I hope she forgives me.
loading...
Oh Please! My mother used to say “f’ing kids…wish I never had any”. Your daughter will be fine! You need to forgive yourself and know that nearly every mother ever has done what you just did!
loading...
Your mother’s comment made me snort my tea! Hilarious.
loading...
She was a vile thing..still is. She wasn’t joking either but when I read it, it sounds hilarious too!
loading...
I throw my hands up and say ‘Kids! Who’d have ‘em!’ at my kids. Sometimes as a joke. Sometimes.
loading...
we all snap!!!! at least I do. I try not to do it but we are human and I believe children also learn from being exposed to uncontroled behaviour
as long as we don’t physically hurt them , a little madness is all natural 
loading...
Giving her a hug when things caled down is the main thing. Kids that age can be unbearable at times and it doesn’t hurt them to know yes mum/dad does have a breaking point, you’re only human.
loading...
Oh Anon, I had a similar episode a few months ago
I was trying to get my 3 year old out of the way of the umpteenth spill for the day (this time a whole bag of cornflour) and instead of gently picking her up before she stepped in it I roughly dragged her away from it by one arm. When I let go of her arm she fell over. Like you I will never forget the look she gave me. I cried and cried and hugged her and said sorry over and over. But I felt like a domestic violence perpetrator and probably am
loading...
Try not to beat yourself up. i know exactly how you feel. I have done it too and the guilt just stops you from enjoying all the wonderful things you do together. She will forget. My 7 year old can’t even remember what she did at school.
loading...
I did something very similar the other day also and felt awful that I had let myself loose control. I told my Dad about it and that how would my boys forgive me and Dad said “you forgave me” so they will forgive you. Sometimes you need to loose control!
loading...
Thanks everyone
loading...
I’m 40 years old and I still watch Neighbours and Home and Away.
loading...
Oh that is unforgivable!
loading...
I am 39 and I still watch Neighbours (as pathetic as the storylines are now!)
loading...
I watch Neighbours. Haven’t watched Home and Away for years though. I still maintain that Neighbours deals with more pertinent social issues than A Current Affair and Today Tonight in the 6.30 timeslot.
And you can’t watch ABC24 er, 24 hours a day!
loading...
my boyfriend’s 47 year old manly-man father records episodes of home and away if his going out…..and you should see the deathstares if you talk through it!
loading...
when I was 15 – 17 yrs old, i used to have sex (a lot!) with a guy who is still very close to our family. I worry that every time we see him, he will tell my husband of 20 yrs our ‘little secret’ and it will affect my marriage. I adore my husband and it has been over with the other guy since I met my hubby…
loading...
My rainbow lorikeet died on christmas day and I’m scared it was because I didn’t feed him enough. He always seemed hungry. I also feel bad because I didn’t take him out of the cage every day. When he walked on my neck it gave me the heeby jeebies.
loading...
I broke up with a boyfriend years ago because his mum let her cockatoo fly around the house! I knew it would never work and he had to go because I have a bird phobia.
loading...
My child swears I ran our cat over. I didn’t feel a thing and I can’t bare to tell my other child that I did it.
No point feeling guilty! It doesn’t change anything…
loading...
* Cheated on my fiancee … a few times (and let him feel guilty about a trashy coworker throwing herself at him)
* Threw a tantrum about an annoying friend losing a bracelet I lent her. I found the bracelet 2 weeks later and just never called her again.
* Wished my mother-in-law was dead (I was advised to put her name on a slip of paper in the freezer – still hasn’t worked yet dammit)
loading...
wow
loading...
sounds immature….sorry
loading...
I was immature at the time! Except for the slip of paper, still in the freezer …
loading...
What is the name in the slip of paper in the freezer meant to do? Stop you hating her, or stop her being around?
loading...
I still cringe at the time I thought a good friend I’ve made at my son’s school stole my sunglasses! It was so crazy. At drop off one day I suddenly noticed that she was wearing MY sunglasses. She told me “No, I’ve noticed before we’ve got almost identical sunglasses, these are mine..blah blah” She was insistent, almost too insistent if you know what I mean (this was to my very suspicious mind at the time.
But then I was adamant (this was all done in a pretty light-hearted way but inside I was raging They’re MINE! I know my own sunglasses!) Anyway we left it with my going home to search for my sunglasses which I KNEW weren’t there because they were on my friend’s head! Suffice to say, I didn’t even really look. When it came to pick up the kids, she had on a pair of sunglasses which to my crazy mind, weren’t the ones she had on in the morning
LUCKILY, I didn’t go around talking about this – we are a group of women (at the school) who are definitely kindred spirits so this would have been easy to do – and I would have done it if I was 25, I know I would have. I did talk to one other woman who was very discreet (so I guess I’ve already confessed). More to vent and work it our. I.e. Do you reckon (sunglasses lady – we’ll call her Al) is capable of this? Why do you reckon she did – was she a frightened doe in the headlights of my accusation or an out and out thief? Or! Do I have early onset dementia and they weren’t my sunglasses? etc etc.
I let it go, gave Al the benefit of the doubt (very hard to do when I was so sure) and eventually forgot about it.
Two weeks later I found the sunglasses down the side of the passenger seat. I was really really embarrassed. Felt terrible that I was thinking the innocent Al was some kind of sociopath and worried for me that I was indeed going through early dementia. I mean I really did think those sunglasses were mine, the looked like mine, felt like mine (Al let me try them on at the time).
The most pathetic/funny part of this story? The sunglasses cost me 5 bucks.
loading...
that really made me laugh!
loading...
I really think you need to call off the wedding. If you are cheating now, it isn’t going to get better when you’re married! Save yourself the heartache of divorce.
loading...
Thanks for your advice Anna, but it was several years ago – and we’re still very happily married!
loading...
My boyfriend left his email and fb account open on my laptop. I snooped and there was nothing, I was disappointed..
loading...
I believe that actually hate my MIL.
OMG I said it.
She is an evil judgemental nasty malicious tyrant who has wreaked havoc in my life (and that of my husband). I still feel guilty though.
The SIL as also been tainted by the MIL’s hatred (long story about why but totally unjustified) and she is about to have her first baby after a long process ending with successful IVF. I want to be a part of it, but she didn’t even tell me she was pregnant – I had to hear it third hand and being such a baby/pregnancy fanatic, I feel so hurt.
The MIL is horrendous.
I have very bad thoughts about her
loading...
Exactly the same (see above). My MIL is a deceitful, malicious bitch who hates all women and has some seriously creepy Freudian shit going on re her sons. Try the slip of paper in the freezer, bitching to your friends and perhaps a voodoo doll (very satisfying).
loading...
story of my life also – can never figure out if the MIL or the SIL is the worst – it changes every week! the MIL is a nasty, selfish being who cares for no one but herself and her son. although I am not quiet about disliking her, I know how hard it is to deal with. i also found out about SIL pregnancy from a friend of a friend, yet she expects me to share every detail about my life with her.
loading...
same re sharing of info!! Her husband has this way of asking a million questions, and usually in front of company whom it would be rude not to respond. I WANT to say ‘Id rather not disclose anything further as you hate me and you’re just being nosey’ but i never can!
My MIL is a religious addict who justifies everything with her ‘faith’ and she puts on such a false facade for the world to see but is so disgustingly nasty to my face its completely unbelievable!
I can’t come at the voodoo thing – what is the freezer thing?
loading...
Hi Meltie, I was once asked by the SIL how much my new job was paying & how much more would I be earning! Yet she can’t tell me about a pregnancy.. odd.
BTW, this forum is so therapeutic!!
loading...
totally! My SIL was asking questions at hubby’s family’s Christmas lunch – all about my parents, their current work situations (mum studied for a new career at 53! – so proud of her!) and dad changed jobs too after taking LSL. They also put their house on the market. Rapid fire questions that I couldn’t deflect. Soooo none of their business!
As for being therapeutic – definitely!!
I was telling a friend this morning about the horrible and very dark dreams I’ve been having about the MIL, FIL and SIL, and how its freaking me out that they are impacting my psyche so profoundly! Its good to get some of this off my chest!!
loading...
forgot to say that they hate my parents as much as they hate me (by default of them being related to me!) which is why I was so pissed at their nosiness.
loading...
oh it all sounds so familiar. even though it’s shit to deal with, it’s nice to know there are others out there going through exactly the same thing!
loading...
welcome to the club…. I despise my MIL too. I have tried to make peace (we have tried… hubby has issues with her also) several times over the years but you cannot change a tiger’s stripes. She favours emotional blackmail, creating conflict wherever she can, manipulation and deceit. I’ve had enough and thankfully we live far away enough for her not to disturb us too much but have contemplated cutting her off a few times.
loading...
has a similar problem with my MIL. She can be nice, however the most distressing thing she ever did was to say “Is it too late to get rid of it?” when we rang to let her know we were expecting our fourth child. She had no idea as to what had gone on in the previous months regarding the health of our unborn child, the invasive tests and the waiting for results. I still have difficulty talking to her.
loading...
My BIL just got a 300k compo payout and moved to Canada where the fiancé he found on world of Warcraft is now ‘keeping’ him, since he has blown all the cash on gadgets, new cars & the wedding of the century. Every time the MIL talks about him she refers to him as ‘Poor XXX’ and I want to rip her fucking throat out. Grrrrr…
loading...
I am a mother of three divine children , i have a fantstic job all in all every beige and suburban. My husband and I love nothing more than to grab a packet of cocaine on the weekend and a bottle of wine when we socialize
loading...
We do too.. Best relationship conversations ever..
loading...
I’ve always wanted to try cocaine but have always been too chicken and would never know where to purchase it.
Plus I’ have to live with the fear of getting arrested……
loading...
@ PerthWife…me too!
loading...
yup, me too!
loading...
Same with us – but sometimes we do pingers instead of coke. Best sex marathons ever!
loading...
well, I am pleased to know we are not the only ones ! Other than our circle of friends, who our also of the professional ,kids and house brigade, i have often wondered if others indulged
loading...
Excuse my ignorance but what are pingers?
loading...
Loulee, pingers is another name for ecstasy.
loading...
Most Friday afternoons before drinks, I drop by my very conservative boss’s office for a few lines!
loading...
Anyone dobbed anyone in for anything?
loading...
When he was found not guilty, I wept for hours. I was his lawyer.
He definitely did it. I’ll never forgive myself.
loading...
that sounds like a heavy story… may i ask what he was found not guilty for?
loading...
Murder. I gave up criminal law that day and I’ve never gone back.
loading...
When the jury system fails….. I am so sorry.
loading...
Ha. Were you the defence lawyer in my sex assault trial (joke)? Thank you for posting this – it was very brave.
When I was being cross-examined I couldn’t stop staring at the defence barrister and thinking “How can you do this? You know he did it. You know he’s done it before. You know he’ll do it again. How can you sit here and try to destroy my character in front of the jury in this way? How can you tear apart my story, which you know is real? How can you call me a liar when you know I’m not?”
The barrister was just doing his job, but I can’t understand how he can live with himself. They won the case. He definitely did it.
I was fine until I walked out of the front doors of the County Court, and then I broke down. Not just for myself, but for the girl he’d raped before me (who’d dropped the charges at the last minute) and for the girls he will hurt in the future.
loading...
I detached. I had to, or I’d go crazy. I never asked my clients whether they were guilty or innocent. I just detached until one day I couldn’t do it anymore.
loading...
Please remember the right to defense is a fundamental part of democracy without people like you it would all fall down, you are a good person with a bitch of a job xxx
loading...
Bloke is coming over for us to return our respective stuff from each other’s places, and I want to shag him :0
loading...
I wish my husband would die. I have wished it for 2 years now and it still hasn’t happened.
loading...
Is your husband chronically ill or something? Or just horrible? Anyway I’m sure you’re not the first person to wish your spouse gone. So that’s a forgivable from me.
loading...
You know that he doesn’t have to die for him not to be in your life? It might seem like an easier way to get out of the marriage but you do have options.
loading...
I felt the same way for years anon, that’s how unhappy I was. Too much history but now we are divorced. It hasn’t stopped the anger or gaslighting though.
loading...
I told my son I had an important appointment so I couldnt volunteer to help out on his class excursion which was a bushwalk. I hate bushwalks and had no appointment.
loading...
Very forgivable.
loading...
Hahaha love it!
loading...
I’ve lied to my husband before about having an appointment so I don’t have to go to things with his mother… she is a nice enough person but suffers depression and anxiety and treats him like he is still a child sometimes – she even talks in a baby voice. Drives me up the wall.
loading...
Even though I have a lot of work to do, today I decided not to do it. Instead, I’m catching up on the 2 episodes of Revenge that I recorded and eating salted cashews. Bad!
loading...
ABSOLUTELY forgivable. Practically mandatory.
loading...
Im a SAHM and am so BORED. I play dolls and trucks everyday but really just want to be doing something, anything, else!
I’m counting down, only 3 years to go till my youngest goes to school.
loading...
Is there a third way? Not a parent (stay-at-home or otherwise), but is there something you could work on that also engages your kid/s?
This is a genuine, completely naive question, because a) I’d like to think there could be and b) I’m sure you’re not the only one in this situation.
Also – don’t think you should feel guilty, I’m sure dolls and three year-old’s conversation topics could get boring, if not slightly maddening.
loading...
I’m completely in love with my partner but I sometimes wish I hadn’t met him until another three years into the future so I still had the chance to get a few things out of my system.
loading...
Ha! I’ve been there!! We broke up after 6 beautiful years do get those things out of our systems. Everything happens as it’s supposed to.
loading...
anonymous, do you ever regret your decision? or was it the right thing to do? I’m trying to decide what to do at the moment.
loading...
Hi B.
He’s now married someone else and seems very happy (good for him) and through other relationships I’ve realised there are things I definitely need in a relationship, which I didn’t have with him. I didn’t realise they were lacking at the time because I didn’t know any differently.
I suspect that if he had of desperately pursued me we would have gotten back together…but he didn’t. That tells me he wasn’t the one for me, so I am happy that it’s over so I can move forward. And life is great!
loading...
Same!!!
loading...
Oh my gosh me too
loading...
Me too!!!!
loading...
A year ago I cheated on the boyfriend I love very much and will likely marry with an old schoolmate who moved to my city. It had been building up for months but when it happened it was horrible and i just wished I was with my bf. I don’t regret it because it needed to happen so I could rid my mind of him but I wish I didn’t have to lie if bf asks if I’d ever cheat. I could never ever tell him.
loading...
Don’t ever tell him.
Speaking from experience: an affair could have saved my marriage two years ago. Instead, I did the “right” thing and got out. Now I’m nowhere.
loading...
If it will never happen again, don’t ever tell him. There is no point hurting him and destroying both your lives just so you feel absolved of guilt. You’ll be so devastated by the inevitable break up that you’ll wish you could swap it for the guilt again.
loading...
if you really cherish this relationship you will tell him.
what good is a life time together if it is founded on lies.
trust me, just grit your teeth and tell him.
it will be awful and painful and full on.
but it will honestly be worth it in the end.
loading...
No no no!!! Also speaking from experience never tell him. Unless you want to lose him. My theory was why should you make him feel like shit just to make yourself feel better, you stuffed up so you should be the one to deal with the guilt. I’d take that one to the grave.
loading...
Agree – telling him about something because it’s eating you up is just selfish and getting rid of your own guilt. Make peace with it yourself and don’t bring him into it.
loading...
A year ago I also cheated on my boyfriend with a guy who works with a friend of mine. The confession is that if our paths again crossed I am sure it would happen again… I wonder if this means my current boyfriend of 5 years is not the one I thought I would marry
loading...
I’m in a relationship with someone whom I love to bits, and she claims that she loves me, but she treats me like the dirt that she walks on.
loading...
“she treats me like the dirt” is another way of saying “she is an abuser”. Don’t kid yourself, you are in an abusive relationship with an abuser!
loading...
If she treats you badly then she has no respect for you. I’ve been in the same situation and was severely emotionally abused and manipulated and take it from me, that most likely will never change. I was stuck for two and a half years (although I knew it was doomed a couple of months in, but hey that’s manipulation at its best!) but finally got out and now I’m with someone who truly loves me and treats me with the utmost respect and is everything I could ask for. It sounds like you can do much better.
loading...
I’m certain that I fluked my law degree and I’m actually not smart. At all.
loading...
All law students are riddled with this self- doubt.
I, too feel the exact same way, and seriously question my intelligence all the time. Even as i sit here making notes for next weeks classes!
But from my experience, those who boast or claim to know/ understand the course load or say things are easy are those who are actually not smart.
loading...
Same. I sometimes wonder how I get through everyday life, yet the degree was fine?!
loading...
Same here but I’m doing an accounting degree. I somehow managed to get in the top 15% of my course last year (in saying that I go to UWS so it’s not like there’s a lot of competition) even though most of the time when I would attempt uni work it would be infront of the tv and I wouldn’t end up doing much of it at all.
loading...
I feel like that all the time. I got 1st class honours. But everyday I go to work I feel like I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing and I made the whole thing up.
Perhaps thinking you aren’t good enough, makes you better, as I know I am always striving to be better than I think I am.
loading...
Story of my life. I’m one and a half years off graduation and I’m terrified I won’t be good enough. This is made worse by the fact that I now work in a law firm, and can see what I’m “meant to become” and I just don’t know if I have it in me…but I *want* to have it in me.
loading...
I have felt like that my whole life. Was top of the class in primary, did great at high, got through uni with a fairly decent GPA and now am working as an executive assistant rather than in marketing because I just didn’t feel confident enough in my ability. I’d rather be an awesome EA than a (probably) mediocre marketer
loading...
I have the accounting degree but lack of faith in my own ability to contribute anything useful combined with an abusive ex husband means that I am yet to put the degree to use.
loading...
I love my Husband. LOVE him – he’s the best.
But occasionally I really wish I lived alone in my tiny little (pre-marriage) flat. I loved the independence, I loved the fact that it was small and (despite being dog-ugly) kinda cosy. I could have scrambled eggs for dinner instead of having to cook a proper meal. I could watch Love Actually every day for a week if I wanted. I could eat a block of Cadbury mousse chocolate without having to share. And I could vaccuum never.
loading...
How did you get inside my head?
loading...
I vote this to be forgivable.
Love Actually and chocolate is the best combination
loading...
Why can’t you do those things now? I know it might sound silly, but if it really irks you, just don’t vacuum as much, tell him to fend for himself sometimes for dinner and that the TV is yours 2 nights a week. Or buy another TV. I know it’s not as easy as that sometimes but when I really started to feel like that, I told my partner and he looked at me like I was mad and said, ‘well, why don’t you just go ahead and do it, I’m not stopping you!’. So I did!
loading...
Secret single behaviour. I get you.
loading...
Stop stealing thoughts from my mind! Aaaarrrggghh!
loading...
FORGIVABLE
I’m lucky my husband travels frequently so I still get those nights when I can lay on the lounge and eat scrambled eggs with my two cats asleep on me.
I feel the same way sometimes
And when my husband returns it always feels specials because I miss him
loading...
Oooohhh, me too!! I secretly am so excited when my partner goes away for work because all the girly, trashy, soapy TV gets a run each night while I eat toast for dinner, topped with a blocked of chocolate for dessert…
loading...
Me too! When he goes away I do all those little things I love on my own, i drink wine and and chat to girlfriends on the phone all night, eat whatever I like and I don’t miss him! But I’m glad when he comes home again. I have to confess I’d be sad if he ever stopped going away entirely!
loading...
I spend a lot of time on Domain et al looking at rental apartments for the exact same reason. Love my husband, but sometimes, to paraphrase Bridget Jones, I wanna be all by myself.
loading...
I’ve had multiple relationships since splitting with the one I thought was the One (now happily engaged with the girl he got together with about two seconds after we broke up) two years ago. I’m over him now, but I can’t seem to feel satisfied or happy with anyone else since. I’m worried my love/commitment switch got broken along with my heart!
loading...
I still check my ex-boyfriends email and FB accounts. :S
loading...
That is not okay.
loading...
i used to do this! my advice: do something on his facebook that makes him realise it’s been hacked, so he changes his password. it’s the only way you’ll stop – believe me!
loading...
I have been happily with my husband for the last 10 years and 2 kids later and I still do this now and then. I always remember the saying ” you never truly know another’s heart” so I just check in to make sure. Make sure what? I’m not 100% sure but as long as I don’t find anything wrong I feel better.
loading...
I still check my ex’s personal email accounts too. Shame that he uses his new work email for most things….
loading...
I broke into my sisters email account to see if she was the source of some very nasty (slanderous?) rumours going around the internet about me.
She was.
I knew it was coming, but I’m still a bit heartbroken. And the guilt of doing what I did is killing me.
loading...
This is such a tough one! I had a friend who hacked into her boyfriend’s account and found out he was cheating.
He said she shouldn’t have accessed the account. She said he shouldn’t have cheated.
loading...
i find cheating more forgivable than surveillance! perhaps there’s something wrong with me.
loading...
Ditto. Honestly if you suspect your partner is cheating and your response is hacking into his email account, rather than confronting the issue with him/her, then your relationship was already a wreck.
loading...
I disagree – I did confront, he denied so I then hacked. Confronting doesn’t mean truth!
loading...
I was in the same situation a few years ago. I asked him, he denied, it was killing me not knowing for sure so I hacked. The truth is I knew it was over before I went through his emails, I just had to know so I could close the doors.
loading...
If you confront him, and you are either sure he’s lying, or sure you’ll never be sure he’s not, then the relationship is over anyway.
To me, hacking into a private email account is just as much a breach of trust as having an affair.
loading...
I think you usually only do surveillance if you have reason to suspect cheating.
I once checked my fiance’s (EX fiance) phone and found out he was having an affair with someone who writes for Mamamia – obviously I won’t say who. I don’t feel bad for a second for checking, because I knew there was a reason I felt so compelled (for the first time) to do so. Thank god I did!!
loading...
Oh em GEE! THAT is scandalous!
loading...
Erm.. why did you need to say who the affair was with?
If you won’t say exactly who (quite right not to) then what was the point of saying it was someone who writes for Mamamia?
loading...
what’s wrong with naming a shaming ppl who have affairs??
nothing wrong with that!
they SHOULD be named and shamed.
loading...
Focus in your own life. None of your business what happens in others relationships
loading...
I was seeing a guy on and off for a year who was a narcisist, he would use gaslighting to put me down tell me I was crazy when I remarked on obvious inconsistencies in his behaviour.
He did leave his email signed in once and I told women he was chatting up he was already seeing someone, as him. He also lied about being away once long weekend and when asked me around on the Tuesday his house was suspiciously tidy, like visitor tidy, and hadn’t been Thursday night. That was the first time I checked his phone and found a txt saying meet us at the health shop hun, from that weekend. He denied for weeks, but eventually admitted to having a woman and her mother over as guests and shagging the woman.
I should have never been with him, but following up my gut feeling and having proof he was lying to me used to make me feel better for a moment, rather than just copping oh you’re crazy, you’re imagining things.
loading...
I got that too – ‘your crazy’, ‘its in your head’ etc. I never hacked his email or facebook or anything but still felt he was cheating.
loading...
Guilt is a wasted emotion! Get on with it. You did nothing wrong!
loading...
TOTALLY 1000% FORGIVABLE. The only one who should be feeling guilty is your sister. Shame on her…
loading...
I can’t stop eating – I recovered from an eating disorder and have since ballooned. I am obsessed with being skinny and value myself to be like that, but very day now I push on that I will start my diet ‘tomorrow’ but it never comes. I hate myself because I look disgusting and that effects my relationships, my work, my aspirations and even getting out of bed.
loading...
I left my phone on while flying last night. But in my defence – the on/off switch is broken!
loading...
I cannot absolve you for that! Dangerous! Wait, I did same thing last week….
loading...
Ha! The on/off switch on my laptop… not so broken. Bad person.
loading...
I yelled at someone this morning for walking too slowly in front of me. I was in a bad mood and they weren’t old. Not that that excuses anything.
loading...
Forgiveable.
Slow – walking however is unforgivable!
loading...
Did you actually yell?
I also hate slow walkers but yelling at people isn’t appropriate – sorry Rick!
loading...
It was more of a gruff holler, but I know, it’s bad! I feel bad.
loading...
Forgiveable Rick.
Dawdling-foot-shufflers make my anxiety levels rise.
loading...
i only go to the gym cos the guy at the front desk is hot.
loading...
Been there, done that! It’s awesome motivation!
loading...
That’s probably why he’s at the front desk LOL
loading...
Better if he was a trainer
loading...
Clever gym!
loading...
This is possibly my fave comment!
loading...
I love my husband but I think I made a mistake getting married. I love my kids but I think I’m a pretty dodgy mum, frankly i’d rather be elsewhere. I look at my life and think how the hell did I get here, this isn’t what I was meant to be. I talk to an old friend and ex on Facebook in a similar situation and if he didn’t live so far away I’d probably have cheated with him by now. It’s so much worse because my husband is awesome. What’s wrong with me.
loading...
nothing is wrong with you. you are human.
loading...
Amen. There is a very cookie-cutter view of what is supposed to make us happy. Sometimes it’s wrong.
loading...
I called in sick today so I could stay in bed with my husband…
loading...
DEFINITELY forgivable!
loading...
Ahh I love that, wish I could do it.. only problem is my boyfriend and I work at the same place! Can’t wait until we don’t so we can have a sickie together!
loading...
My husband and I also used to work together. We would call in sick, but only one of us would be ‘sick’ and the other one would have to take carer’s leave to ‘take them to the doctor’.
Doubled our leave this way!!
Ooh, should this be a confession??
loading...
I LOVE THIS! My partner works away from home so when he comes back after two weeks at work we always spend the first day in bed together.
loading...
My boyfriend of 5 years lives overseas and I really don’t miss him not being here that much.
loading...
I’m 15 and would bang Alan Rickman harder than a screen door in a hurricane.
(for the record, he’s 66 (as of two days ago xD))
loading...
oh god yes, I’m older than you (just) but the things I would do to Alan Rickman…….and Liam Neeson……..
loading...
Oh Liam Neeson . . . And Hugh Laurie . . . And Tommy Lee Jones . . . Oh and Mark Harmon . . .
loading...
oh god how could i forget hugh laurie……those eyes make me melt!!!
I promise I don’t have daddy issues though
loading...
Cupcake, you’ve stolen my list!!
loading...
Me too! I am 30 now, but have harboured a strong Alan Rickman-banging hankering since I first found out about his existence at 18. There’s just something about him.
loading...
Not before I do!!
loading...
… googling Alan Rickman…
loading...
Yep me too. Never heard of him. OMG I can now see why. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :-S Jesus!?!?!
loading...
Professor Snape is SEXY, DAMMIT!
=)
loading...
hahahahahahahahahaha! You kill me! Dunno about the Alan Rickman thing tho eww.
loading...
hahahaha!!! I think is my favourite mamamia comment EVER
loading...
I LOVE Alan Rickman! Check this brilliant video he did with Scottish band Texas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4-gNN8WRHo
Yum.
loading...
I tried to watch this, but I got so jealous of that girl that I had to stop before I smashed something!!!
But thanks for the link!!
loading...
Wow! Just, Wow. That dance at the petrol station is AWESOME. He is so hot!
loading...
Oh my effing GOD I know how that feels – I’ll be 18 this year, but I’ve been like this since your age, and I would fuck Robert Downey Jr (46), Benedict Cumberbatch (35), Jack White (36), Matt Damon (41), Marlon Brando (dead), Ben Whishaw (31) and Johnny Depp (48) until they begged for mercy twice.
loading...
I hope in your fantasy that Marlon Brando isn’t actually dead.
But perhaps still young and alive?
loading...
I haven’t missed my husband once since he died.
loading...
I was going to thumbs-up your comment but I don’t think that would be appropriate? Anyway I don’t think there is anything wrong with not missing your husband.
loading...
Wow. Just wow.
loading...
Ouch…but I guess it’s much better for you than the alternative (ie grieving terribly)…
loading...
did u kill him?
loading...
How did he die? I’ve seen your comments before, just curious hope not too nosy!
loading...
Pulmonary embolism
loading...
Thanks for replying. So if he died of natural causes and you haven’t missed him since he died why were you still together while he was alive?
loading...
Because I honestly thought I wouldn’t have any support if I left him.
loading...
I hung up the phone on a Seeing Eye Dogs telemarketer today… Feeling terrible ever since.
loading...
Completely forgivable. I cannot speak for Guide Dogs but had a friend who solicited donations for a well known animal charity and they were paid and awarded performance bonuses.
It is up to you who you give your money to. There are so many charities now, you can’t give to everyone.
loading...
I started buying Easter eggs in January. Now I can’t stop. Too delicious.
loading...
Unforgivable and completely understandable at the same time . . .
loading...
Unforgivable. Especially if hot cross buns are also on the menu!
loading...
My usual rule is to not buy Hot Crossed Buns until two weeks before Easter. At the earliest. But now Woolies has these giant easter loaves which are NOT LIKE HOT CROSSED BUNS AT ALL (except they have a cross on the top and they’re made of the same stuff). But they’re NOT Hot Crossed Buns so I’m allowed to buy them now. OK?
loading...
Easter egg hunt? Please?
loading...