11 guaranteed Christmas party conversation starters.

Rob’s a lovely guy but let’s face it – once you’re covered ‘what are your plans for Christmas?’ and ‘I like your tie,’ there’s not a terrible amount left to chat about.

It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. (And Rob’s got green stuff stuck in his teeth and needs to use a more deodorant.)

Need a way to break the silence? Why not try some of these conversation starters. They’ve everything we’ve been talking about at Mamamia this week:

1. The story of six-week-old Malakai who died from whooping cough. Whooping cough is a preventable disease and the fact that another baby has died is a travesty. Those who refuse to immunise their children are not just risking their own children’s health but the lives of others in the community.

2. When did women stop wearing underwear? Images of Anne Hathaway’s vagina are currently going viral after it was photographed at the New York premiere of her new film Les Miserables.

3. There’s a company out there who are working on creating drinkware that changes colour when date rape drugs are present. If drugs are present the cup turns red and you should stop drinking. If that cup stays clear, you’re free to pour another Vodka.

4. A new report for The Butterfly Foundation has found the most common eating disorder is not anorexia or bulimia nervosa. It’s actually Binge Eating Disorder and it effects 44 per cent of all obese people.

5. A NSW Health Department wants to ban its staff from using the word ‘mate‘ and opt for “professional language” instead. Can someone call Afl Stewart and ask if they’re fair dinkum?

6. This here monkey, who went shopping in IKEA. In a coat.

7. Singer Brian McFadden sent a tweet this week accusing women who stay in abusive relationships of being “pathetic”. He later sent a sorry tweet saying “Its (sic) just one of my friends is in that situation and it made me angry.”

8. In an interview that redefined the words ‘too much information,’ Mariah Carey’s husband Nick Cannon talked about how the couple have sex to Mariah’s music. He also masturbates to it. His favourite song is ‘Hero.’

9. There has been a marked increase in the number of women who are having surgical foot alterations to make their high heels more comfortable. It’s called ‘Stiletto Surgery’ and women are paying thousands of dollars for botox, fillers and surgery to prettify their feet.

10. After the 2DayFM radio prank and the tragic death of UK nurse Jascintha Saldahna, there’s been a lot of finger pointing and accusations of blame. But if there’s one lesson we can learn from this tragedy, it’s that nothing ruins your life forever.

11. The Victoria’s Secret Angels made a Christmas Video. In it they frolic around a large Christmas tree in fur-trimmed Santa-themed lingerie, while struggling with the words of the popular Xmas carol. Cute.

UPDATE: OK, so it seems that because we work at Mamamia where it’s OUR JOB to sometimes Google “fisting hotel” or “female circumcision” we may be slightly atypical of the majority of people when it comes to Suitable Conversations Starters At The Christmas Party.

We’ve read and listened to your comments and are suitably chastised.

So, in addition to the list of current topics that may be suitable for small-talk at a Christmas party where you know your fellow guests pretty well, we’ve included a bunch more for when you don’t.

These come via Murray Resources:

1. “I don’t think we’ve met before, I’m <name>.”

While this first one seems elementary, you’d be surprised at how many people are afraid to break out of their comfort zone and meet someone new at company get-togethers.

2. “How did you get your start with our company?”

This question is a great transition line to move past the inevitable what do you do/which floor do you work on/how long have you been working here banter.

3. “Have you been to one of these before? This is my first one.”

If it’s your first year with the company and your first holiday party with them, there’s no shame in admitting it! Everyone was a new kid on the block at one point, and will likely have some funny stories about their early days with the company.

4. “Do you have any plans for the upcoming holidays?

This kind of question appropriately bridges the gap between personal and professional life, and can afford some nice insights about someone’s home life that people often don’t get the chance to discuss during the average workday.

And please! Add your own suggestions in comments! Caring is sharing….