Stella Boonshoft says “deal with it”.
Stella Boonshoft is a New York University student who has made headlines worldwide after she posted a simple black and white photo of herself in a bikini online.
Stella is an ordinary unairbrushed probably size 14 woman with a tummy and some stretch marks. She doesn’t look like a Victoria’s Secret Angel. She doesn’t look like a film star. She looks like herself.
But this totally uncontroversial image has not gone unnoticed. It’s been published on the photography site Humans of New York and has since attracted hundreds of thousands of likes and tens of thousands of Facebook shares.
Some have labelled the image inspirational, others say that Stella is ‘promoting’ obesity. Here is what Stella herself had to say when she published the photo….
by STELLA BOONSHOFT
WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I’m not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your fucking business. Meaning my size, IS NONE OF YOUR F***ING BUSINESS.
If my big belly and fat arms and stretch marks and thick thighs offend you, then that’s okay. I’m not going to hide my body and my being to benefit your delicate sensitivities.
This picture is for the strange man at my nanny’s church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.
This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.
This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I’d be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds
This picture is for all the fucking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty)
This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.
This picture is for Emily from middle school, who bullied me incessantly, made mocking videos about me, sent me nasty emails, and called me “lard”. She made me feel like I didn’t deserve to exist. Just because I happened to be bigger than her. I was 12. And she continued to bully me via social media into high school.
Stella Boonshoft
MOST OF ALL, this picture is for me. For the girl who hated her body so much she took extreme measures to try to change it. Who cried for hours over the fact she would never be thin. Who was teased and tormented and hurt just for being who she was.
I’m so over that.
THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT.
And F*** YOU ALL who tried to degrade my being and sense of self with your hurtful comments and actions.
GUESS WHAT IT DIDN’T WORK HAHAHAHAH.
xoxoxoxoxoox
This post was originally published on Stella Boonshoft’s blog, The Body Love Blog.
What do you think of Stella’s photograph?
Comments
243 Comments so far
I just can’t stand people who live such unhealthy lifestyles, then get all upset when someone calls them fat or judges them..
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Who says she’s leading an unhealthy lifestyle? Assuming people are unhealthy based on their appearance is just plain silly. I think if you looked into the lifestyle choices of many of the skinny celebrities, models and people in general (like myself) you would not be judgy-wudging about assuming someone’s health or lifestyle choices based on the way they look.
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Weight gain is a pretty simple equation – too much food and not enough physical exercise.
Really sick of hearing sob stories about why people are fat! Most people with an illness can still maintain some form of exercise, or alter their calorie intake to accommodate level of inactivity.
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Exactly, love ur post.
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I agree with you to an extent Anonymous- but I just don’t think there’s anything helpful or constructive about critiquing people’s health based on how they look. What is helpful is this article- promoting self acceptance, something I am really struggling with at the moment as a 21 year old, despite being 5’10 and 57kg. Although I’m not being able to relate to Stella’s direct experience, I think her message is overwhelming positive, whilst also expressing that she’s still got a long way to go in her self-love journey.
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Why not? We ostracise smokers for how bad they smell, apart from the potential impact of their habit on the health of themselves and others. It’s not easy to quit smoking, just as it is difficult to lose excess weight. By your argument, we should be more supportive of helping smokers quit, instead of punishing them. As I’ve previously said, being overweight or obese is predominantly a lifestyle choice.
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No. It’s not that simple. Go read Gary Taubes.
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Bex – I don’t need to read Gary Taubes to know that not a single person on this planet has a body which defies the laws of thermodynamics.
regardless of her BMR (basal metabolic rate), she can lose weight and her current weight is and will continue to cause her health problems.
with that said, I would like to see some women sizes 12 & 14 do this kind of post. they are healthier and a much better goal for girls with larger frames to aspire to than this blatantly overweight woman.
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Cam, you’re not up on the latest science, obviously. It isn’t that simple at all. If it were, people would not struggle so much with losing weight and keeping it off. Go do some research and read the latest findings in weight management. You’ll learn that not all calories are equal, and our bodies treat them differently in terms of burning them for energy or storing them as fat.
And don’t be so condescending in future.
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Thermodynamics applies to a ‘closed’ system. Our bodies are not a closed system.
Thus thermodynamics do not apply, or work, on bodies.
Go read.
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You don’t get to choose who loves their body, and who posts about it.
I’m a size 12 and I love this post. I relate not only because I’ve been an overweight size 18, but because even at a size 12, society wants me to hate my cellulite, my pooch, the stretch marks that cover my stomach. And just like Stella, I refuse to hate them and hide them away.
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If someone is majorly overweight it is pretty obvious how healthy their lifestyle is..
I’m not saying that just because someone is skinny they are healthy. Healthy and skinny are completely different things.
You control what you put in your mouth and how much you exercise
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Its her decision to live a healthy lifestyle, or not. If she doesn’t there are consequences. That doesn’t need to include judgement from other people. Nobody’s perfect after all.
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Yeah, because all those underweight skinny models are only that way because they are leading super healthy lifestyles … Get real, many of them are that way not because they eat healthy and exercise they are likely just chuffing away on diet pills, coffee and ciggarettes to stay at that unnatural weight.
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Oh hey, guess what, JUDGING PEOPLE AND MAKING THEM FEEL LIKE SHIT IS NOT OKAY. IT IS NEVER OKAY.
I’m sure she knows how healthy she is. It’s absolutely fucking none of our business.
Is she not allowed to be confident, happy, powerful, beautiful even if she is unhealthy?
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I’m with Mia. Loving this photo so hard. You go girl!
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I’m still stuck on her attitude, and the “eff you” comments to even notice her weight until I went back & looked at the photo again… The article she’s written doesn’t sound like she is terribly happy, and I don’t find that very inspirational. Whether she likes it or not, she’s overweight. That’s not an insult, its the obvious truth. This isn’t according to Cleo magazine, and while I understand she has a medical condition, it doesn’t take away from the facts. Yes she’s a beautiful girl & no the picture doesn’t offend me but swearing @ people who hurt her doesnt make her any better than them.
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Mamamia team, it’s not particularly cool to post on Facebook “Find out why the world is arguing about THIS photo” to promote this story.
It’s inflammatory and designed to stir controversial debate. It’s link bait – pure and simple.
Looking in to the story further, Stella has been INUNDATED with messages of support and love. Overwhelmingly, she has received encouragement for this photo.
Trolls don’t “argue” they bait to piss people off. And the people that wrote nasty things on the Facebook page are just that – trolls. It wasn’t an argument!
Couldn’t the caption have read something like “”Find out why the world is celebrating and sharing THIS photo”
You guys have a duty of care to make sure you are steering the discussion towards a more positive place not potentially pitting women against each other.
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Interesting points you make Just Saying.
As you can see by the comments on this post and by the discussion on the Mamamia Today radio show this arvo, there IS some debate around this image.
I wish there wasn’t! And the argument that images like Stella “promotes obesity” make me want to scream and stamp my foot in frustration.
I think it’s a lame and disengenuous argument.
I don’t believe there’s any such thing as ‘promoting obesity’.
I DO believe that there need to be more images like this to reflect that ‘beautiful’ comes in many different shapes and sizes.
And I think those who try to shame women who don’t conform to the ridiculous media computerised image of aliens masquerading as women….well, they need to take a good hard look at their motivations.
Just today on Mamamia we have a post about how Victoria’s Secret models are always air-brushed. ALWAYS.
And we’re arguing about this glorious celebration of a woman who is accepting of herself?
How messed up is that……
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“And we’re arguing about this glorious celebration of a woman who is accepting of herself?
How messed up is that……”
Yep, it is so messed up Mia. Makes me sad that in 2012 we still let media and advertising dictate to the wider society what is to be a desirable woman
I want to see more wobbly, normal stomachs in bikinis god damn it. (Stamping foot in frustration!)
I want to see so many of them that we are like we are like “pfft” who cares!
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If there is no such thing as promoting obesity then one can argue the opposite and say there is no such thing as promoting skinny slender bodies…. which is what everyone seems to whinge about with the undersized or slim models that appear everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, I congratulate the woman for celebrating her body, I don’t condone bullying in any way shape or form, however obesity and heart disease are the biggest killer in Australia and that is not something that a positive self esteem can change. If Stella eats a balanced diet and leads a healthy lifestyle and remains a size 14 or 16 then no one can criticise her weight. But you cannot say that there is no such thing as promoting obesity without putting forward the other end of the stick.
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If you are going to say there is no such thing as promoting obesity then you should also mention there is no such thing as promoting thin slender body shapes, you can’t have it one way and not the other. Don’t get me wrong, I congratulate the woman for her positive self esteem that she has about her appearance and i also don’t condone bullying and feel for anyone who has been bullied because of their size or other aspect of their appearance. HOWEVER you cannot ignore the fact that heart disease and obesity are the leading causes of death in Australia and in terms of promoting health- children and adults need to know how to lead a healthy life in both a physical and mental sense (body and mind).
If Stella eats a balanced diet that is not excessively high in salts, sugars or the bad fats and is the size 14 or 16 then she can’t be criticised. If we start telling children its okay to be overweight we are going to have an even worse state of health in our country than we already do. I am not suggesting every person should be a size 8 or 10 and look like the Victoria Secret models, but its about promoting good health.
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But by the same token, if we continue telling children that ‘thin’ is the ideal, with all of the input they get, info about faddish diets/shakes/exercise plans etc, aren’t we harming them equally? They know that the biggest indicator of weight gain is having been on a diet at some point in your life. So isn’t it actually more harmful to promote a skinny ideal than it is to applaud someone who is comfortable with who she is?
We have to look at where this cycle starts. It’s RARELY with sitting on your butt eating bonbons. It’s more common that it starts with body shaming, dieting, damaging your metabolism and the resultant physical issues from thereon.
This idea that people would be sitting on a couch, eating KFC, looking at a picture of an overweight woman and sighing…’I wish I looked more like that…pass me more chicken’ is a visual that only the idiots afraid of overweight people conjure up. Most of us are paying for having bought into this idea that human bodies come in one size and shape. Addressing that root cause is the goal.
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It’s not about “dieting” or being thin or fat, its about educating people about how to lead a healthy lifestyle. Children in schools are not taught about how to diet – that word should not be used with children or teenagers and should only ever be mentioned by a qualified doctor- children are taught about how to lead a healthy and balanced lifestyle… that is where it should begin, and not just with food and physical activity but also with positive self esteem and a healthy mental state.
If a parent does not understand what a healthy balanced diet is then neither will the child- the cycle that can be broken- EDUCATION IS THE KEY!!!
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Diet should absolutely be used in schools. One’s diet is simply the food they consume. You can have a healthy diet or an unhealthy diet. We were taught the difference in the 80s. You are always “on a diet” – you might just change what you eat as part of your diet. It’s not a bad word at all.
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that is one definition of diet (noun), however most people would associate the word diet as being the verb “To eat and drink according to a regulated system, especially so as to lose weight or control a medical condition.”.For kids and teens that is what they associate the word diet with, and that is probably what Mikaela means when saying it shouldn’t be used in schools, because a teacher is not a health professional and should not advise people on weight loss.
Teacher’s do talk about healthy diet’s in terms of food consumption but shouldn’t use that word instead they talk about nutrition and balanced eating habits (taken from NSW PDHPE syllabus)
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We can correct other misinformation with kids, why not “diet”? By not using it correctly and avoiding the word, it makes it scary. And it is just a word that means what you eat. What is there to be scared of?
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I love this photo hard.
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Great! But thats exactly how I feel about being thin….stop telling me to put on a few pounds – this is my body. Deal with it. I have! It doesn’t matter whether what your weight is, it is wrong to comment.
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Anna, I totally agree. Your body is your business. Doesn’t matter if society perceives someone as too big or too small. Our bodies should be our business.
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I wanna be friends with this chick. What a champion!
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Ok, let’s be honest. She is overweight. Yet I’m still not sure how I feel about this article. Feeling good about yourself is important, as is being physically healthy( I refuse to believe you can be overweight and healthy. Not possible). I’m just not sure where you draw the line re celebrating a healthy self esteem and promoting fat acceptance??????????
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I think the point is that it’s her choice because its her body. She’s not promoting anything- she’s just being her. Nowhere does she say, being fat is better than being thin, or present an image of herself that glamorizes being overweight. She is who she is, and yes it is better not to be overweight, but in the end that’s her issue to deal with. No one else gets a say.
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How about you just see it as promoting self esteem full stop? Why can’t we say that people come in all shapes and sizes and that is ok. We are attracted to different types and being exposed to differences IS healthy.
Perhaps it isn’t about fat acceptance but rather just acceptance!
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“i refuse to believe you can be overweight and healthy. not possible”
im sorry i find this really offensive. in the past year ive gained a LOT of weight due to a health issue thats beyond my control, but i eat the healthiest ive ever eaten, and exercise 5-6 days a week. i am nearing overweight, but there is just nothing i can do about it until the hormones and levels in my body are corrected with medication.
i honestly wish i could wear a tshirt that says “its not my fault its my thyroid” because before i gained all this weight i was a slim 50kg something. attitudes like this have completely changed the way i view other women and i refuse to judge people or make assumptions on their health based on their weight now.
instead of viewing it as promoting fact acceptance why not just view it as promoting non judgemental body image discussion.
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I also have gained weight (30 kilos ) due to thyroid problems. It’s hell, especially when things you take for grants when thin are such harder…
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Weight is energy in versus energy out. You are lying to yourself if you say you eat healthily, exercise and are still overweight. Yes I can comment. I have PCOS and have over the past 18mths lost 30kgs.
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do you know the anon above’s health issues?
if not then how can you judge her situation. PCOS is not the only condition causing weight gain. even taking a course of steroids can cause it, and it is very difficult to lose weight on steroids.
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That’s unfair, Anon. Unless you’ve had thyroid issues, then you simply do not know what it’s like. Let me tell you, I’ve had both – PCOS and a thyroid autoimmune disorder – and in terms of weight gain/ability to lose weight, PCOS aint got nothing on hypothyroidism.
I’ve now had my thyroid taken out which means my body produces no thyroid hormones. I now need to take thyroid meds to replace these hormones – which are synthetic and simply not the same – and am having trouble getting the levels correct. I can literally feel the weight going on daily despite no change in diet pre and post removal of the thyroid.
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I completely understand your dilemma here and I hope it makes you feel a little more at ease knowing someone else is going through something similar.
I just managed to heal from autoimmune (hashimoto’s) and I’m now dealing with hypothyroid as a side effect of adrenal fatigue. As much as I’d like to lose weight, that is just going to have to take a back seat as I try to let my body recover.
It’s a hard lesson to learn but christ it’s taught me how quick people are to judge others.
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Fat acceptance? What on earth is that? She is seeking, and proclaiming, ACCEPTANCE. The holy grail that we (some of us) arrive at as we get older. I think I am getting there, personally. I try not to judge others on their size (or any other physical attributes). I am mostly accepting of who I am, what I look like, and don’t really care greatly if others don’t like it. If you think Stella is fat, that’s fine with her and fine with me. Obviously she’s over caring about it – and major kudos to her. And the people worrying about her health due to fat around the abdomen – they should mind their own f—ing business. It’s no business of yours whether Stella, or I, smoke, drink, eat too many carbs, don’t exercise, don’t recycle, or whatever. Too much self-righteousness from the nanny brigade. Unless you want others to come scrutinise your life and see where you fall down – you know you do, we all do, in different ways.
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Good for her, but I still think that plastering images like this on the internet is just as damaging to young girls as images of skinny models (and I am purely thinking of the physical health side of this girl).
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Are you worried that impressionable young girls might aim to become fat because of this photo?
Because trust me, the entire media industry is more than a counter-balance to this photo.
Or are you worried that overweight young women might not hate themselves because they have the occasional self-accepting role model?
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Love it! Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and being thin and beautiful does not mean you are beautiful!
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Are u suggesting that a thin woman is not beautiful because God forbid she DOES actually have a body that is considered ideal by the media?
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No, I don’t think that is what Marie is suggesting. I think she’s suggesting that it’s possible to be seen as beautiful if you’re not skinny – because whether you like it or not, that IS what is pushed as the attractive ideal.
Not everything that celebrates not being skinny is an attack against those who ARE skinny.
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Amazing!!!!!! This goes right to the core of us as women!!! It touches upon, embraces and embodies ALL that is beautiful and good!!! Courageous, smart, funny, voluptuous, and perfect……..perfectly normal!!!!!!!
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She has a point- She shouldn’t be judged.
But coming out and saying “this is my body so fucking deal with it” then she puts herself out there to be judged.
She is lots of things really. Her weight shouldn’t define her.
But at the end of the day she IS fat.
Just like we call people skinny why can’t we call people fat?
If it is said in a way to put someone down then that is unfair but there’s no denying that she is fat.
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‘skinny’ is generally seen as a positive adjective to describe somebody’s body. ‘fat’ is generally used as a negative adjective.
the only way that they could ever be seen as equal is if the word ‘fat’ is reclaimed… that is used in a positive or even neutral sense…
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I think that’s garbage, Izzy. It is our current conditioning that makes us think that a size 14 is fat. Our idea of “normal” is no longer shaped by the women in our family, our neighbourhood, our town. It is now shaped by reality television, airbushed magazine covers, photoshopped advertising & eating disorders.
Marilyn Munroe was a size 14 and an absolute goddess. Take a look back at movie stars & screen idols from decades ago and they were all amply bosomed with curves, delicious bums & hips and limbs that did not look snappable. Skinny girls were outcast after the 1920s or 1930s – someone with a little something to grab were regarded as healthy & gorgeous.
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Hi AquaFey,
Size 14 is fat on someone who is 4’11.
Size 14 is not fat on someone who is 6ft tall.
What are you refuting in what I said exactly? The fact that I called her fat? She admits she is fat. She is fat. She has a big belly and stretch marks. That is fat. What is your definition?
Her point isn’t whether she is fat or not it is about the judgement.
I’m not judging her. I’ve read her blog and it’s cool and I love her anecdotes.
In Thailand calling someone fat isn’t offensive. When my mum lived there they had two women called Satunun in the village so to differentiate they called one fat satunun and the other thin satunun. Why is there a problem? One was fat. One was thin.
If you think it’s fine to call someone skinny then it is certainly fine to call someone fat.
We can’t hide from the truth. Yeah cool, she’s beautiful, confident and outgoing! She offers something to society! She’s clever! She’s lots of wonderful things as well as fat.
If you had to describe her to someone who had to meet her in a crowded place what would you say? She has brown hair, big smile, cute dimples, nice skin….? Fat?
Just a thought
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I just wanted to say that someone having stretch marks is not an indicator of them being ‘fat’. My thighs were covered in stretch marks when I went through puberty simply because I had a growth spurt. I was tall and lean…nowhere near ‘fat’…but with stretch marks.
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Hi Boo,
You’re right! You can be skinny with stretch marks. Sorry!
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Size 14 then is like our 10 or something now. Size 14 IS, for a lot of women, “fat”.
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Because the sizes then and now are so different, Marilyn’s measurements were allegedly 6-23-37 (I Googled it).
No idea what the ideal measurements for todays models (or a size 14, for that matter) are.
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Can we please dispel this urban myth about Maralyn Monroe once and for all, she was NOT as big as people like to make her out to have been. Her dresser from the studio described her as “teeny tiny”. Her waist was 22 inches and bust 34.
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http://jezebel.com/5299793/for-the-last-time-what-size-was-marilyn-monroe
35-22-35 is about size 8 Australian currently.
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Marilyn Monroe was a very troubled woman with a very difficult relationship to her body. She yo-yo dieted in absolute extremes. It is reported that her weight fluctuated so much that dress-makers had to be constantly on-hand to adjust her costumes while she was filming. She may have sometimes been a 14 (in our current sizing maybe a 10) but just as often she would have been a present day 4 or 6 or 8 (she was an average height). In any case, and at any size, she is hardly a role model for healthy body image.
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She had many failed pregnancies, her weight went up during and afterwards those times, though even at her absolute largest she would have been no more than a (proper, not Target sizes) size 12. When she wasn’t pregnant or recovering from a miscarriage she ranged from a size 6-10 over the course of her career, but was usually about an 8.
The woman was tiny. I don’t know how anyone could look at a picture of her, looks at all the size 14′s and 16′s around them, and think she was a 14 or 16.
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An excellent comment – a healthy lifestyle is important. So maybe Stella needs to work on hers and Marylin should have done the same. Neither of them deserve our judgement.
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http://m.kaboodle.com/reviews/marilyn-monroe–personality-poster-white-bathing-suit-on-beach-size-27-x-39
Here is a picture of Marilyn Monroe at a size 14 which is equal to our size TEN. Skinny may not have been fashionable but what was considered big then is considered “average” now
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i believe that this photo is beautiful. it shows a young woman who is strong, comfortable and happy. Peoples comments on this photo have taken the topic “Is this an inspirational body image photo or ‘promoting’ that being overweight is acceptable?” out of proportion. We only ever see girls who are stick thin in magazines or on television promoting swimwear come summer time. What about everyone else who is a size 14 or more?
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Remind me again why it’s okay to comment on and criticise smaller women?? I’m so bloody sick of this double standard. (And I probably sound like a broken record, but every time this debate comes up people seem to forget how much we judge women we deem to be “too skinny”)
Good on you Stella, it’s great to see someone so confident in their body!! But please don’t assume that just because someone is thin, they don’t suffer from body image problems and are subject to rude comments.
I’m a size 6, but would die for curves! It’s taken me ages to accept myself, but even now I’m so disheartened when someone tells me to ‘eat more’. Seriously, I eat enough for multiple people!! Women just can’t win, can we?
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“Remind me again why it’s okay to comment on and criticise smaller women”
Nobody here has said it is.
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Lulu seriously? Not only do I know from personal experience, and from reading the experiences of other petite women here on MM, but the media at large (and yes even MM) has no problem picking on skinny women and telling us that we are ‘unwomanly’ and look like 13 y.o boys.
In our society it seems perfectly acceptable to comment on the body image of small women and yet very un-PC to say something to overweight women. Maybe trolls from behind their computer screens will criticise people who are overweight, but I don’t know any decent person who would tell Stella to her face that she was overweight and yet these same people will tell me that I am ‘skinny as a stick etc’
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When I said ‘nobody here’, I meant nobody has said anything in *this* discussion – not ‘nobody ever’. And clearly some people did tell Stella to her face that she was overweight.
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Maybe when people stop judging each other for the clothes they wear, their name, where they live etc etc etc, the world will be a nicer place. I can’t see it happening any time soon though, with so many judgemental people out there.
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Chelsea, its wrong and horrible that people feel like its OK to comment on your size and tell you to eat more. I’m not condoning it for one second.
But lets be honest here, being as small as you are I doubt very very much that you have ever felt a sense of deep shame wearing a bikini in public. (and if you have I’m sorry)
Nearly ALL the pictures we see in the media and advertising are of small women with little to no body fat. We even get to see flat chested women in bikinis (lots of celebs are flat chested).
Only showing these pictures of flat stomachs and no body fat are an over representation of women that have those body types. And lets be honest again, more often than not it’s seen as highly desirable for women to be seen as small, nymph like, perfect skin with flat stomachs.
If someone tells you to eat more it’s probably because they are jealous on some level.
Its so frigging rare to see a photo like this. Can’t you just be happy for the awesome representation of body diversity rather than cry victim?
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You have no idea what it’s like for me to wear a bikini, and you shouldn’t be making assumptions. These are the exact assertions that annoy me. “Oh you’re a size 6 so you should feel comfortable”. You have no idea how many times I’ve stared in the mirror and thought people would find me repulsive because according to the media “real women have curves.” You obviously have no idea how utterly degrading that is.
I’m not crying victim, just trying to bring to light that body image issues are not only experienced by people who are overweight. And trying to understand the double standard that pervades the body image debate.
And if you re-read my original comment, you’ll see I am happy for Stella.
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I can’t put my finger on why it’s quite difficult for me to have much sympathy or empathy for you.
Maybe because a better and more effective way to bring body issues to light is not to cry “but what about me!” when these types of articles come to light.
I’m sorry that you think that according to the media only real women have curves and that it has affected you so badly in your life. That is truly horrible.
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Just Saying, everything you’ve said has proved my point about double standards – that skinny women are not allowed to express their own body image problems without being told that we’re crying for sympathy. According to some people I have a desirable body, but I still have problems and I should be allowed to express them. And I shouldn’t be subjected to nasty comments, even if out of jealousy, why can’t people just accept that fact that some women are naturally skinny, just like we’re accepting and applauding Stella? If I wrote an article like Stella, I’d probably be told to shut up because apparently small women can’t have body issues – and I don’t think that’s fair at all.
And fyi, I don’t want your sympathy or anyone else’s, I’m simply expressing my opinion.
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Very well said Chelsea!!
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I find your complaint irritating in the same way I find men irritating when they comment on an article about sexism and say “but its hard for us toooooo”
Yes, women of all sizes are faced with body image problems. But this is an article about the issues fat people face. With all due respect, fat women deal with more discrimination, more bullying and more cruelty than women of other shapes and sizes. Yes, it’s bad for the other women too, but it’s usually far worse for bigger women. And besides, nowhere in this article does anyone have a go at skinny women so I’m not even sure what your complaint here is about.
I’m sorry you have had a hard time but this article is not about you, you have no reason to be offended… if it’s something you feel very strongly about I suggest you submit an article of your own to MM and we can all discuss the body image issues thin women face on that one.
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She isn’t crying victim.
She is pointing out a double standard.
She is pointing out that fat people aren’t the only victims.
People don’t feel sorry for skinny people because most people want to be skinny.
People feel sorry for fat people because nobody wants to be fat.
Such a dumb comments saying “If someone tells you to eat more it’s probably because they are jealous on some level.”
SO WHAT?! Jealousy is a big reason why people put down others all the time.
Doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
People have so much sympathy for fat people but none when it happens at the other end of the spectrum.
Plus- fat people can lose weight. Skinny people can’t put on weight as easily as fat people can lose it.
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Miss Finance,
This is a post about body image, and about reactions to body image. It’s not limited to obesity and I am perfectly entitled to express my opinions. If I came out and said “this is my body, so deal with it” just as Stella has done, I would be torn down (as you, and the others who’ve replied have done) just because I am not overweight. And I think that is a terrible double standard within this debate that needs to be addressed. Once again, I am not looking for sympathy, or crying victim, I’m simply trying to bring to light some of the broader issues around this debate.
And like I said before, some of these replies to my comments are just further proving my point.
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I know what u feel Chelsea . I too am a small size 8 build and I hate wearing a bikini cuz my breasts are quite small and my hips are small and I feel like I will be seen as unfeminine because I lack the so called “curves” women are “meant” to have. I don’t judge bigger women or people and if i were to do so I would be verbally attacked . The media portrays that women need to be curvy but not fat, yet thin but not boyish looking. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE MEANT TO LOOK LIKE?!?!
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Before the “she’s too fat and should be trying to be healthy” brigade come along, would like to point out that Stella was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome since she was a teen – very hard to lose weight with that. I don’t think she needs anyone else preaching at her about her health. I daresay she’s been focused on it most of her life.
What a brave woman and I hope she can fulfill her dream of working with young girls on their body issues.
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I think Stella needs to understand that ‘skinny’ and ‘fat’ are silly concepts created by silly magazines looking to make money. However, the concept of being ‘healthy’ is much more important. Not for me, not for those who are ‘offended by fat arms’ but for her.
It seems Stella fails to realise that cardiovascular disease and its risk increase exponentially with every inch added to her waistline. She may be proud in her own skin, and that’s commendable, but being proud in your own skin means nothing if you’re in a hospital bed waiting on a heart transplant.
I’m not trying to take a shot at how you look Stella, you can post whatever photos you want, you have that right and freedom and no one can take that away from you- just don’t act like you are supposed to look like that and don’t try to tell other people it’s okay to look like that.
That might sound harsh, but the fact of the matter is that people who are ‘comfortable to be big’ are the majority who take up beds in hospitals. They are the majority clogging waiting rooms in doctors offices. These are the same people who could be avoiding the healthcare system if they took the time and energy to be healthy. Not thin, not skinny, HEALTHY.
If you can run five miles without stopping and you still look like that, then feel free to post all the pictures you like.
But when good people die because unhealthy people who are “comfortable with their size” are overloading the healthcare system- that’s when being big is a problem.
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“If you can run five miles without stopping and you still look like that, then feel free to post all the pictures you like.”
Do you ask thinner people the same question?
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Yes, “skinny” and “fat” are definitely used as money makers, but they only seem like silly concepts if you haven’t been on the judgemental end of them; and let’s face it, who hasn’t?
It takes a long time for anyone to become comfortable in their own skin, and some of us never get there. Like you (kinda) said, your weight doesn’t necessarily define your health; but nor should it define who you are.
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‘if you can run five miles without stopping and you still look like that, feel free to post all the pictures you like’ – I am size 10 and can’t do that….people can only post pictures of themselves in a bikini if they are your definition of ‘healthy’??
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isAmandaroseIs anyone comfortable with being fat. Everyone knows it is unhealthy but losing weight is not easily for some people for a variety of reasons many psychological and we shouldn’t think badly of them anymore then we would if they had depression or epilepsy ot Parkinson’s.
Obesity is a health problem and this picture in no way glorifies. Bad health. It is just showing an image that represents a big portion of the population.
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Do you also have the same view of old people ‘clogging waiting rooms’ and people with depression?
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There is a big difference with being ‘comfortable being big’ and not doing anything to improve your lifestyle. I noticed Stella made the comment that she tried to change her body in drastic ways as a teen and actually did it some damage. I took this to mean she tried some terrible weight loss method that backfired. She could definitely still be working on losing weight. She’s just saying she’s comfortable in her skin in the meantime.
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“But when good people die because unhealthy people who are “comfortable with their size” are overloading the healthcare system – thats when being big is a problem”
Wow “N” – so thin people are “good people” and unhealthy people are what – evil?
What a weird and sad little world you must live in…
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This makes me want to cry. Not because it’s brave and beautiful – although it is – but because all of those nasty things that happened to Stella are nothing compared to what the internet could do to her. Don’t lose your beautiful smile Stella!
Here’s her follow-up blog.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stella-boonshoft/posting-picture-on-the-internet_b_1989092.html
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As long as you are a good person on the inside, it shouldn’t matter what you look like. I know I choose my friends based on the way they treat me, not based on the way they look.
Well done Stella. Your beauty shines through!
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I wish I could click like on this 100 times more Emma!
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I followed the link to the Humans of New York page. I may have cried a little. So beautiful!
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This. Is. AWESOME. I love it!
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I am a size 8. I would never be able to convince myself to be photographed with just underwear on and then post it online. Congrats to Stella for not being ashamed of who she is and good on her for being so proud.
I do want to add thou that even I am a small build I am not anorexic and I am eat plenty so I don’t appreciate having someone “tsk ” me and shake their heads just because my plate is not scrapped clean followed by a ” that bit of food would do u some good, fatten u up.” Not nice
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Be happy with who you are! I’m in my 40s, I’m 2nd generation obsese, I’ve had easily 35 years of listening to my mum be put down or myself. It’s not my mother or I who are on medication for high blood pressure or have issues with cholesterol it’s our SKINNY friends. Regarding encouraging obesity, VERY FEW OBESE people have been on TV or in the media, so they must have a truely remarkable ability to pursued the public?
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Love it! Thanks Stella for reminding me why I don’t need to torture myself with a restrictive and ridiculous diet and be miserable just so I be some small size that I have not been in the past 10 years!
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Good on you Stella! LOVE this piece.
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Good On Her!!!
More females should take this example and go out and live their lives.
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. I hate people commenting on my weight. I am 10kg over weight and I feel judged by what I eat or how much I exercise. My husband and his family are full of snide remarks. I will lose it but I need to get my thyroid back under control. I don’t feel I need to tell them that to justify my weight though as it is no ones business and I see no need for hurtful comments.
Fat is unhealthy and it is unattractive. Just like those skinny models look unhealthy. I think it is ok to see all types of bodies but some achievable middle of the road ones would be more inspirational.
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What this girl has done is incredibly inspirational. I too am not your average skinny girl and was bullied terribly growing up. I do not even have the guts to do what she did but it makes you think twice about yourself. I don’t think for a second that she is advertising obesity she is just being herself. I am so tired of people going your not a szie ten so your fat. Some people just can not be thin. I eat well and try and get as much exercise as I can and I am still a size 14/16. I think it is time for people to grow and just accept people for who we are and applaud people for being true to themselves.
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I don’t care about your body at all Stella? It doesn’t worry me at all whether you a fat, thin, tall, short, orange, purple or black.
But you look like you could be in for some health problems down the track, isn’t abdominal fat the most unhealthy kind? Maybe start thinking less about what others think of you and think more about how you can live a long, healthy life.
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Completely agree ash. As in studying nutrition atm I can only see figures and facts about what chronic diseases she could be walking into right now.
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That may be so Ann. But that doesn’t effect you. What Stella does with her body is no one else’s business and that is her point.
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Wait for the argument about how much obesity costs the tax payer!! lol
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Well if it is none of our business when maybe she shouldn’t have posted her pic on line. naturally ppl are going to have an opinion on it. if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen
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And if you look at a further post you will see Stella was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome – a classic outcome is that weight tends to accumulate around the belly. Have POS is beyond her control. She looks pretty average size to me anyway
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Unless you can see the people behind the facts and figures and understand why they act they way they do, I wouldn’t want you as my nutritionist.
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Look at that smile!
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She is beautiful and she has balls for doing this!
I think that is what the picture really represents – the guts to stand your ground and say this is me, I’m not perfect but this is the real me.
Balls.
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Fabulous! I wish I had the confidence to take a photo of myself in my lingerie.
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Great sentiment Stella.
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its not ok for people to judge someone on how large or over weight they are, but people still think its ok to judge smaller sized under weight people.
it goes both ways “they need to put that burger down” goes side by side with “you need to eat more burgers” or “your going to get blown over in the wind” or “someone give her an m’n'm”! goes side by side with “there is nothing moving that lump”
Just like many people cant lose weight , alot of people cant put on weight no matter what size you are everyone is going to judge.
I am a 20yr old size 6-8 and weigh 48kg, my mother is 48 and weighs 56kg and is size 8. We are constantly having nasty comments thrown at us about how we need to eat more etc (between the 2 of us we could eat enough food to feed a whole family)
the way i see it If you eat healthy and live healthy and excersice even if its taking the stairs instead of the lift thats all you can do and if your happy no one else should state their opinions unless its positive
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You’re screwed either way Anonymous.
People are SO quick to criticise these days, sadly.
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That is just awesome!
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we shouldn’t be thinking anything of it… it is a body… it shouldn’t be up for debate.
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