by REBECCA SPARROW
Childhood friends. A funeral. A baby. Some weeks pass by with hardly a blip. And others, like this past week for me, are full of emotion. High highs and low lows.
More on that in a moment.
Welcome to Best and Worst - our longest running and perhaps best-loved post where together we unpack some of our emotional baggage from the week that was. And forget Google, if you’ve got a dilemma, you know you’ll get unbiased advice right here.
As for me, well this week I flew to Brisbane for 20 hours to attend the funeral of the grandfather of one of my dearest and closest friends. It was interesting the reaction I received from people when I said I was traveling interstate for the funeral of a friend’s grandfather. People are surprised, as though someone losing a grandparent is perhaps not such a big deal.
But for my friend Nicola, her much loved grandfather was (as another friend described) her greatest protector. He played a major role in her life – more father, than grandfather. And I always knew that wherever I was living, I would go to his funeral to support her and because he is present in so many of my memories of Nic.
That funeral, where I saw some of my old school friends, was able to show off my beautiful Fin to them and also be there for Nic and farewell her beautiful grandfather was a mixture of some many feelings: sadness, elation, pride, heartbreak and much, much love.
In terms of Mamamia this week, my personal highlights were Jo Abi’s “Just One More Baby” .. yes I know it’s a sponsored post but as someone who is trying to decide if I should have another baby, I have to say I ate it up! Meanwhile Jamila’s Open Post this week where she revealed what her first month at Mamamia has really been like (“In my old job, there was no ‘sparkle’ day”) put a huge smile on my face.
My low would have to have been the heartbreaking and shocking story of Andrea Pickett. The subject of ABC’s Four Corners earlier this week, it was a brutal and confronting story about domestic violence and how the authorities and their failure to act ultimately ensured Andrea’s death was inevitable. On a more superficial note, I was disappointed to hear that Channel 10 had axed The Circle (the last show is today). I was a guest on the show back in 2010, and I can tell you that there was a rare and very genuine camaraderie amongst the female hosts both on and off the set.
As for what’s OMM (on my mind) … I’m toying with the idea of writing another novel. Clearly I’ve lost my mind.
Now it’s over to you. What’s your week been like? We’re here, ready to listen …







Comments
239 Comments so far
Bit anxious about my partner and I going our separate ways as then I will be a single mum to two young kids. I’m nervous about how I will survive on my own financially, especially trying to provide for our boys on my measly income. Anyone able to offer me some advice?
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Best:I have gorgeous kids.
worst:I have friends but not a best friend.It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.It’s really getting to me.I am 53.Is it weird to feel like this?
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Best: . Nice walks with my man, boy and dogs this week and some shiny new Adidas kicks
Worst: catching sight of my rapidly expanding arse in Target change room mirrors. Horror.
Omm: when to commence maternity leave….
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BEST: finishing the week off at work on friday pumping the music and dancing with the kiddies… dinner on saturday night with the girls from work laughing so hard and drinking yummy cocktails, feeling like i finally belong to a ‘friend’ group… going to my best friends baby shower today and feeling the bubba move! cant wait to meet him.
WORST: none!
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Dear MMers,
I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading about your lives on B&W each week. I really want to comment on so many posts. I want to comiserate with you and celebrate with you and try to answer your questions and let you know you’re not alone in your thoughts/experiences/dramas/triumphs.
However I almost exclusively read MM on my iPhone and it’s just too hard to comment often. Unlike my PC, when I comment on something via my phone and the site updates it takes me back to the top of the post and it’s just too hard to then find where I was up to etc. So I don’t comment. But please know I’m thinking of all of you!
xxx
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I completely agree with this comment – me too!
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Bit late, but oh well…
Best: I started sending out my CV to companies (trying to send them directly to certain people, but if I cant find any then to a general email) even when they don’t have any advertised positions open. I’m going to graduate uni in September and am already stressed by the prospect of finding a grad job (I have a feeling this will take agggges, as all the government agencies I thought I would be a perfect fit for, turned out to be blocked ends)… One guy even replied saying that they don;t have positions open but would be happy to send my CV to other ocllegues of his. I’ve had issues with motivation and depression, so even doing this seems like a big step.
Worst: I think my hair is falling out more than usual.. it also doesn’t help that when I’m bored or browsing the net, I run my hands through my hair and twirl or tug at it a bit :S
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Best: a work trip to Melbourne but with plenty of time to see my sister. We hung out, went to the movies (Magic Mike – what a hoot) and ate at some lovely places. I also went for the first time to the Melbourne State Library. What a stunning place.
Worst: too much work travel and too much Olympics watching = very very tired me. I know, FWP right?!
OMM: could I be perimenopausal? My emotions/hormones are all over the place and I keep getting seriously hot/sweaty in the middle of the cold Canberra nights. I’m nearly 42 – seems a bit early doesn’t it?
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You could have a virus, they cause hot sweats during the nights.
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I don’t think so, as it’s been happening for a few months now. But thanks for the thought – I’ll keep an eye on my general health.
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Are the hot sweats only during the night? When I was really ill with Lupus I used to get this. Only night time.
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Yep – only at night time, and usually in the wee hours of the morning, and not every night (but probably the majority of nights). I am not unwell in any other respect though.
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worst. Sort of. I think being. “peri menopausal” is messing with my brain. It feels like mush. This CRAFT ( can’t remember a f&&@@& thing) is real !
I am taking something from the health food shop which has helped with the old swings ( lucky for my family,) but still feel “foggy”
Best; loving the Olympics ( except some of medias comments) they areall stars regardless of if they gets medal or not and I think that has been lost. I cry with them, using lots of tissues ( but that could just be hormones )
My boys (16 and 14) said I was the best ever as I bought them new iPod docks with a remote control. – easily pleased. And they weren’t even that expensive.
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best: got married! (well it was technically the 21st July but i was on my HM so I couldn’t post on B&W in time)
worst: got my period the day after wedding and had a hemorrhoid. Needless to to say there was not much sexy times to be had…
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Congrats! Hope you had a lovely honeymoon
Sorry to read the last part
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My week feels like all ‘worst’. I had the flu so long that the period of time I spent home sick – in the apartment where I live alone bar two felines – exceeded 1.5 weeks with only short outings to doc/pharmacy/food suppliers.
The unfortunate outcome of this is post-prolonged-illness fatigue and depression. The last 24 hours are 24 of the lowest I recall feeling and I’ve really questioned my life. It’s been hard to pin point something good about my life – something to keep me going.
A hole only I can dig myself out of I know.
Best – aforementioned felines I guess. Oh and a letter from the lady I sponsor in The Congo. The loyalty of pets and a stranger in Africa have been my life lines this week.
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So sorry to hear you’ve been so sick. It’s awful when you’re stuck at home so ill. You feel down & depressed because you’ve been stuck at home without any social interaction. As soon as you get out mixing with people again I’m sure you will feel much better. Just try & remember that.
Hope you feel better soon xx
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Thanks so much Sydgel,
You have no idea how just a few words from a stranger can make such a difference.
This is why I reached out to the MM community. I wasn’t going to – and felt a bit silly/poor me at first but I’m glad to have heard from you.
Onwards and upwards hey – even if it’s two steps fwd and one back at the moment (cliches aside).
Ciao bella
x
hope you’re having a lovely wknd.
PS even though it took the life out of me, I went to the market and cooked a three course lunch for friends today – so consider left foot in front of right!
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I totally agree. I tend to really withdraw quite a lot and I notice that the lack of interaction with people then causes depression. And let’s face it, it sucks being stuck at home sick! xxx
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Worst: Husbands behaviour has deteriorated so much lately. It seems like he really hates me.
He told me during a fight last week that the biggest mistake he had made was staying with me for so long and then the next day pretended nothing had happened.
He gaslights terribly, saying one thing and then pretending I am crazy and that he never said that. He has rules that if I break the consequences are a barrage of hateful verbal abuse and then back to pleasant the next day. Even acting surprise when I flinch when he hugs me.
It wasn’t always like this, we have been married for 8 years and it’s only the last four.
I’ve started a secret savings account to prepare to leave if I should need to, but I’m most distressed and unsure how to proceed at this time.
Best: I have the loveliest child in the world
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Oh Anon, what a hard situation for you to be in. I have never been in a situation like that and have no advice, but sending you lots of strength to be able to make the right decision for you and your beautiful child. I think the savings account is a good idea.
xxx
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In this situation…..and when you say “only four years”….what percentage of your beautiful child’s life is this? What a distressing situation for you to be in. I really feel for you.
You have taken the first step in starting to save……it sounds like you are in a loveless, scary, manipulative situation & you deserve better.
If I could go back and speak to my mother when she was in your exact predicament….I’d say “Just go.” I don’t care if we have to live in a less nice place than the one we have….or that I just have the basic necessities….
Whatever resources (people – friends or departmental) you are able to access…..you could research. If you think there is any chance of saving your marriage through professional intervention, then pursue that aggressively…….but if you know in your heart that it isn’t going to get any better…..then don’t use another four years of your precious life (and your child’s) in this awful situation. Years can fly by in a situation like this, and before you know it, your child will be grown up and you will wonder why you didn’t leave sooner.
Sorry about the ranting…and I hope my comment is taken in the way it is intended…..I just feel very passionately about women (and children) trapped in scary situations. All the best to you and your little one.
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Sorry to hear that
Can you go and see someone professionally about what’s going on? Best of luck to you.
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I am in a very similar situation. I haven’t started saving money yet but have started trying to create a social network for myself so I have people to lean on after I leave. I don’t think I would be able to cope (after leaving) without friends and family for company/moral support. Over the last couple of years I have lost touch with a lot of my friends and haven’t spent much time with my siblings or other relatives. So I am trying to fix that.
So that would be my advice, try and surround yourself with supportive people. Don’t try and cope with the situation all by yourself.
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God I have sooo been there! My sociopath ex (that ended up trying to kill me) would do the very same thing. He’d carry on and say something or do something really horrendous then an hour later behave like nothing had happened. And he’d pretend he never said or did the thing that he did and make me feel like I was crazy.
One day he attacked me in the middle of a park, jumped on top of me! Then pretended nothing happened!
This is serious emotional abuse. you can not continue on this road, trust me. You need to get out, asap. Find a counceller – relationships australia are great and affordable and get the money together. This will not get any better, only worse.
And please keep remembering that it’s not you, it’s all him. He’s the one with the serious problem. Not you xxxx
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Feeling for you immensely.
SO EASY to say but please try and consider leaving. Having grown up in a loving but very volatile home, I agree with a lot of these comments.
Children feel tension and bad vibes. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to start again but it doesn’t seem like your husband will change. He sounds like a controlling and manipulative person (sorry) and you and your darling deserve more than that.
Either way… good good luck xx
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It’s time to leave. Your husband is being emotionally abusive, and you don’t need to put up with it. Whether he has a psychological disorder or a substance abuse problem, you do not want your child exposed to that sort of behaviour. Take copies of all important paperwork and stash them with friends. Then call a women’s shelter in your area/state. They can advise you on how to proceed. I heard a saying which I think applies here: when someone shows you who they are, believe them. I wish you the best of everything.
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Sorry to post again but NZ has just won two more golds in the rowing!
I am so unbelievably proud, especially for our single scull, Mahe Drysdale, who should have won gold in Beijing but had terrible gastro the day of the final and battled to bronze before throwing up at the medal ceremony.
Also….(it won’t last so I am making the most of it) but we have more golds than Australia as of right now :p
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Lots of ups and downs this week.
Worst: Lots of inconsistent friends. I hate one sided friendships and had to call one of my friends on it tonight, ended up in a yelling match which ended in him saying he will try harder.
OMM: I would love to hopefully one day work in the DPP. Are there any MM’ers that have any tips or contacts? I would literally scrub the floors or cut off my left arm in order to get in there!
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Few girls I went to uni with work there. Two went in as “Clerks” while at uni and gradually progressed/applied for solicitor roles once they were done.
My other friend had to move to Townsville to work for the DPP and she was a university medalist, ex top tier, Oxford BCL educated lawyer. It is as competitive as top tier firms and for much less money!
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Best : my daughter was telling me about a craft activity at school, where they had to choose their hero and then decorate it. She said she chose me!
We are often yelling at each other, so it was a really lovely thing to hear.
No worst, after that!
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High five Mumma your doing something right!
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Best – antidepresants have finally kicked in and feeling much less stressed and cranky.
Worst – PMT, need I say more.
OMM – Whether or not to go for that third child – everytime I think yes, okay I end up having one of those days when i wonder why I wanted them to begin with and I am end up back at the drawing board re number 3.
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Best: it’s Friday! I really needed this weekend to arrive and now so relieved. Not doing anything but just need some space to clear my head as I am feeling a little lost right now and not sure where I am heading.
Worst: work just keeps getting worse by the week right now. How many restructures can one organization have?
OMM: went to a funeral yesterday (my friend’s mom) and the eulogy and other speeches were so beautiful and seemed really poignant. While really sad, they filled me with a sense of what should be important in life – my friend’s mom clearly had it worked out going by what was spoken. It’s making me a little angry with myself for letting work get me down (aaarrrgghh, it’s only a job right ?) but then PMT could be to blame too.
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Best: Finding out I would not be breaching my contract by submitting articles to Mamamia
(I’m a journalist)
Worst: Interviewing a certain Aussie actor over the phone who was unbelievably rude and abrupt for no apparent reason! I was so nice to him and I am still at a loss to know what I did to offend him
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Name and shame!
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Was it Rusty???
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I have interviewed a few successful actors, musicians etc. A couple of years ago I was going to interview Nicholas Cage for a profile and was told that I had to call him Mr. Cage. Don’t think so!
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Worst: I am sooooooo sick and tired of my 5 year old son having a massive crying tantrum over the most minor insignificant things. It has happened twice since he got home today and he is currently upstairs screaming his head off while I am downstairs trying to block out the noise.
He will not listen to simple, basic house rules and then when getting 2 warnings and then receiving a consequence (for example, the consequence of his behaiour tonight was that I didn’t give him any bread tonight before bed) he will then cry and scream for over an hour because he didn’t get any bread.
I am TIRED of it, so so tired. Then when he is crying, he will ask me to kiss and cuddle him so he can calm down, which after the hour of screams is the last thing I feel like doing.
I tucked him into bed tonight and came downstairs and he is still screaming. Am I an awful, terrible mother for not wanting to sit and cuddle with him after he has just spent an hour crying and calling out? He just cries and screams and then asks for a cuddle as if nothing has happened and I am driven crazy by all the tears and tantruming.
I am slowly going insane.
Best: Can’t even go there.
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That sucks. I don’t even have any advice for you, eventually he’ll grow out of it. You’re not a bad mother, kids can take you to the brink we’ve all been there!. xxx
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Oh I feel for you so much! Hang in there, u know a similar drama is being played out in lots of other homes right now. You are not a bad mother! I remember that kind of frustration when my kids were younger. Sometimes the only thing that worked for me (apart from a glass of red …) was to take a deep breath and wipe the slate clean and start over – you know how it gets to the point where everything they do gets to you! Not saying u have to give in though – stick to your guns, just pick your battles. Sending u virtual hug
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This must be so frustrating for you.
It sounds as though you have some logical systems in place (2 warnings, consequence).
Are there other alternatives to you giving him the cuddles etc for him to regulate his anger/frustration? For example, could he try using a ‘calm jar’ (biiiiig bottle of water & glue with glitter….shake it up then watch it until the glitter settles? – google will give you examples), or sensory toys/stretchy things etc to relieve his tension? If you do a search for sensory toys, there are many options for toys which satisfy the need for touch/sensory stimulation to feel calmer.
Chewing is also a quick way to regulate behaviour – he could try chewing on crunchy or chewy things like carrot sticks or Juicy Fruit. The jaw area and mouth is known to reduce anxiety and anger…….
It does not sound like you are an “awful, terrible” mother…..it sounds like you are trying your hardest in what sounds like a difficult situation.
I hope that you find a way forward with him.
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I’m 40ish, and you have me wanting a calm jar with glitter.
Great suggestions, Imelda.
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Ha!! This made me laugh a lot! Thank you…..
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My little man (4) does the same screams stamps feet stomps etc but wants a cuddle, I think they know they are being unreasonable or the very least not real loveable but NEED to be loved so I hug my little man tell him I love him but I don’t like his behavior and don’t give in to the demands and keep stating what is required until he calms. It is so much easier to get a calm child to do what you want rather that a distraught child! I also have found his currency…. iPad! And when he is in a state I tell him he is about the loose iPad time! you need to find his currency! At night we found a regular routine with time warnings… I start 20 minutes before bed and tell him every five how much time he has left that way bedtime isn’t sprung on him! We also brought him a rechargeable dinosaur night light that can sit on his pillow and he takes teddies and toys. Motherhood is the hardest job out and the pay sucks but keep trying things and listening to others and you will find your way!
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Oh, so it’s not just us – feels like it sometimes! But my son is not quite 4 – not sure I can last another year or more. Here’s hoping he’s at the very end of this stage, for you. Keep up the good work on those firm boundaries.
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Maybe you need to look at other factors that may be effecting him.
Has he started school this year? If so, maybe he’s tired and behaving at school has worn him out.
Are they regular occurrences? Maybe write down when they happen.
Does he have these tantrums at school/day care/kindy? Ask the staff at these places.
If you’re worried (and it does seem like you’re starting to get worn down), go see your GP and have a chat. Maybe getting some parenting help, or seeing a paediatrician may help.
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Thanks so much for all your replies, it is a huge comfort having someone offer even the smallest bit of advice. After a good hour of crying he came down and calmly asked for a cuddle, I gave him a kiss and explained that I can’t kiss and cuddle him when he is crying and screaming.
I have noticed that he tends to break down very easily when he is overtired and some days when he gets home from school it seems like he just needs to get out the frustrations of the day.
I am trying so hard just to take deep breaths and remind him of the rules when he is losing it, instead of cracking it myself and shouting at him. Thankfully, it ended well tonight, I kept my cool and he calmed down after realizing that the crying and screaming was not working.
Wishing everyone a great weekend.
xx
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It’s Friday night. He’s exhausted. That’s all it is. He will grow out of it. My son is nearly 11 and I still have to pull the “you’re just tired” card. At least now he can sorry mum and go to bed early.
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Oh I am hearing ya! My 5 yo does the same thing and I feel the same way as you! Am hoping it’s just a ‘phase’!
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Best: had an awesome week anxiety and panic attack wise. Totally kicked some goals
Worst: discovered some of my subconscious belief system and I don’t like it
Omm: babies! I met my friend’s 10 week old today and I have gone from kinda clucky to super duper hubby put a baby in me now clucky. Stupid common sense is holding us back though. But our time will come.
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I’ve already posted here today (scroll down for a photo of chocolate ganache!!) but I just saw this funny “story” AGAIN on FB (have seen it many times before) and every time I do it make me LAUGH OUT LOUD so I thought I’d share….. lucky for me my husband is NOTHING like the guy below and TOTALLY understands what I do during the day without me having to explain myself!!
“A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found …an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel… She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’ She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?…
”Yes,” was his incredulous reply..
She answered, ‘Well, today I didn’t do it.’
“
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Best: Made my 4th sale for my new online business…so happy!
Worst: Got told by my GP, I look half my age (which is awesome) but need to see a cardiologist, as tests came back revealing some damage to my heart. A great shock to someone who is active, healthy & the only symptoms were a bit of indigestion! Keeping my fingers crossed.
Great week to all
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Good luck with the cardiologist Rani. I’ll cross my fingers for you too xo
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Thank you magic-fruity-beans lady, so very thoughtful & kind of you Xx Blessings & Shimmies!
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Best: The ATO finally sorted out our tax after messing it up. Nice to GET money instead of being told we owe them thousands!!
Worst: A friend’s husband just lost his job and now they’re looking at moving interstate.
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I know what you mean about really eventful weeks! I had one just like yours over a month ago now (I know- old news, but it’s relavent to her eventful week). In that week I went to a funeral, my niece was born and I went to Lady Gaga’s incredible Born This Way Ball. (The funeral and Ball happened on the same day and my niece was born just 2 days later). It’s amazing how quickly the time has flown since then! I mean, holy crap, the year will be over soon- it’s August already!
Anyway you don’t want to hear about my week that occurred almost a month and a half ago. You just reminded me of it!
This week’s best: I’ve bought and been reading Tina Fey’s book- Bossypants (which I actually bought after reading a hilarious sample on MamaMia not long ago). I know it’s not much but this week has been fairly in eventful and I really love this book!
Worst of this week: SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK! I have a mountain of maths homework that will probably take me hours (I’m afraid I may resort to copying out of the back of the book simply because of a lack of time), as well as an English assignment in which I have to do an impossible visual representation (impossible because I have no artistic or computer based talents to work with) as well as an massive Ancient History and Legal Studies assignments.
Anyway- enough about my boring life!
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I think Tina Fey is my spirit animal….that book is brilliant though, definitely had me in stitches.
good luck with all the work!
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Worst: 5 year old daughter so sick with what we thought was gastro for the past week, she could not move off the lounge for 6 days, never seen her so sick. Turns out half her pre primary class sick with it and now just waiting on lab results to say what it was exactly, doctor thinks its c diff which is a nasty bacteria – no wonder she has been in so much agony. Heart wrenching.
Best: its Friday and we have got all our tax stuff together just need to submit it to the accountant now and fingers crossed for nice tax return this year.
xx
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Any chance you live in Melbourne?
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Nope Im in Perth
Is this bug going around in Melb?
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Best: my step brother competed at the Olympics last night! He was in the team sprint for track cycling, they came 4th. They had hoped to medal so they will be a little disappointed, but we’re all really, really proud of him. He’s a fabulous guy and has worked so hard for so many years.
Worst: cancer seems to be everywhere I look at the moment, a good friend, my son’s swim teacher, a valued client. Brave and amazing people. It scares me.
OMM: I just read that Maeve Binchy died recently. I love reading her books, they’re the best kind of comfort food.
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Worst: Feeling miserable. Work is all falling apart due to no management (3 people have left since I have been here, no replacements in 3 months!) and the stress of it all is really hitting.
Sent an official email to head HR in the UK about it, and for some silly reason I am really nervous about what they will say.
I think I will have to draw the hard line that if there isn’t significant improvement in 3 months, I will have to hand in my notice.
I really thought this was the job and company I could make a long term career out of
Best: It’s Friday and I am really looking forward to sleeping in with my man tomorrow.
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Looking forward to seeing all Mia’s new neon goods in next weeks open post…pretty pretty please???
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another thing: Are there any small business owners out there that sell boutique kids clothing/accessories at a reasonable price, online? I love smaller sites like this in Aus that have beautiful things
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Have a search on Facebook. I’ve seen lots of my friends liking various boutique kids clothing pages.
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A girl i went to school with recently started a kids clothing boutique. She’s in Newcastle so the shipping to Sydney shouldn’t be too expensive. I haven’t bought anything (don’t have kids) but other people have left really good comments.
It’s called Dahlia Baby Boutique and you can find her on facebook.
Hope that helps =)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DahliaBabyBoutique
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Blueberry Pie can be found on Facebook and their stuff is awesome and reasonably priced
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Best: after first being diagnosed with uterine cancer 2.5 years ago, having an all-clear, a few failed IVFs, only for the cancer to return, and after countless months of awful hormone pills (ok, better than chemo, but I’m sick of it)… I’ve now got a date for my hysterectomy. But the BEST part is that it’s taken me all this time to come to terms with it, that I’m never going to have children. Whereas a year ago I was so angry about it, I was literally throwing things and crying and really at the lowest of the lowest point of my life, now I’m ok with it, totally at peace. And I’m feeling a huge huge relief that it’s soon going to be all over.
Another Best: Watching James Bond escort the Queen to the opening ceremony. My jaw was on the floor the whole time.
WORST: Gastro. Enough said.
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Admiring your strength, Fiona X
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Absolutely! x
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What Lucy said! You are so so strong! x
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Best: Found out today I am getting a $4k bonus at the end of month, perfect for New York in October.
Second best: Went to see “Death of Salesman” at Belvoir in Sydney on Wednesday night and not only was the play brilliant but I saw Rose Byrne (she is stunning in person).
OMM: Waiting on RAMS to give us a final approval on home loan, want to put an offer in on a house tomorrow.
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Best: Everyone’s getting into wearing jeans today for Jeans for Genes Day
Worst: Everyone seems to think that magically makes a difference.
Every year, without fail…. Seriously?!
Please do more than just wear denim and donate to this great initiative to raise much-needed funds for children’s medical research.
https://www.jeansforgenes.org.au/once-off-giving.aspx
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Best: I had two students this week tell me that I am their favourite teacher and they trust me. Now, I only have 5 kids and they don’t have many teachers to choose from; but I feel great knowing they would feel comfortable talking to me if they needed to- as it’s one of the reasons I became a teacher!
Worst: I wish I was in South Korea right now. Not because I have a urgent desire to go to Korea (all my knowledge of Korea comes from M*A*S*H which I don’t really think is accurate- although it would be nice and warm there!); but because David Harris (who is currently playing Fiyero in WICKED over there) is having his last show on Sunday, before he comes back to Oz to begin rehearsals for Legally Blonde the musical.
He’s been Fiyero for a year and a half, I’ve seen him 5 times in the role (out of 7 shows), met him 5 times at Stage Door, had numerous tweets off him; and he is both an extremely and genuinely nice guy and a fabulous Fiyero.
It’d just be awesome to be there for his final show.
(Yes, I am aware it sounds ridiculous to be that upset over an actor leaving a musical, but I can’t help it. I love Wicked).
OMM: Friday is mail day! Hooray! I’m living in the country and we only get mail delivered 3 times a week. I only check on Fridays, so there’s slightly higher odds of me actually having mail.
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Best: I have worked in hospitality my whole life, except for the last year in which I have been in banking. BANK HOLIDAY on monday, a random day off just because I work in the financial services, how stoked am I!! Going to get sooo much cleaning and sleeping done! Haha..
Best 2: Falling in love with my boyfriend more and more every day, in the smallest of ways. Two years into it and he still makes me go fluttery and crazy at the silliest of times
Best 3: Cooking Nachos tonight!! Fridays <3
Worst/OMM: My Dad died when I was about three or four, I am trying to look up any info on him online but I can't seem to find anything without having to pay heaps of money for a subscription and whatnot… anyone know any free online newspaper archives? I don't really have any family I am comfortable discussing this with, but I have been wanting clarification on his death.. (or any info about his life…) I have been told car crash, accidental bar fight, homicide/murder… confusing
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Do you live in the same town as he did? The public library might have newspaper archives and be able to help???
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No, I am in Sydney, he was in South Australia..
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Maybe try the Adelaide state library???
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If you know his name, and ideally the place and year of birth and / or death, then apply to get his death certificate at Births, Deaths and Marriages. Or at least email them an enquiry:
http://www.ocba.sa.gov.au/bdm/ AND http://www.ocba.sa.gov.au/bdm/contact.html
I’d also be getting his birth certificate if I were you.
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Have you tried here: http://www.archives.sa.gov.au/index.html
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Do you know someone who goes to uni that could look it up for you in online newspaper archives? A lot of uni students have access to them via their university libraries.
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Hi Stacey, if you ring the newsdesk at Fairfax (call the switch and ask for the newsdesk) and tell someone what you’re looking for, I’m sure they’d do a search for you on their archive. It’s really quick and easy – it would take a copy kid five minutes to do a seach and email the results to you.
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sounds great, thankyou!
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You could also try a local paper in the town he lived! Good luck! I hope you get your answers x
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Really?? Wow!
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try the national archives ?
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Why not apply for his death certificate? As a direct descendant you are entitled to one. I’ve just quickly searched for the link to the SA one and it lets you know what to do. I’ve done the same for my grandfather.
http://www.ocba.sa.gov.au/bdm/applying/index.html
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It may be worthwhille checking if there’s a Coroner’s report. My dad died at work in 1978 and I applied for a copy of the report which, at the time (1999?) was an easy and inexpensive process (through the NSW Coroner’s Court). It answered a lot of questions I had about the way he died and also gave me some valuable background information about him.
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Best: Heaps! I finally summoned the courage to go and get a pelvic ultrasound, STI tested and blood tests; I am steadily getting better from a bad cold; I started uni for the semester; have caught up with lots of lovely friends this week.
Worst: Am slightly broke; have realised I accidentally picked extremely hard units this semester, and the real estate people weren’t happy at the rent inspection; lost my group certificate and have to ask for another one so I can do my tax.
OMM: Thinking about how hard I am going to have to study this semester to do well and hoping to rise to the challenge, thinking about a young man who is overseas, looking forward to being well enough to get back into exercising!
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What was the agents complaint? Did you get it in writing/email? If not you should. You should also look up what your responsibilities are which you can do online at the various tenants union websites.
Tenants are required to keep the property in clean good condition but agents/owners also have to be realistic that the properties are being lived in. They will incur scratches, marks etc as any lived in property does.
If they want it to be immaculate, then they should not rent it out and earn a rental income. Yes I rent and I have also rented out my lovely house.
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ah.. yeah I should probably have mentioned that the house is actually a bit gross at the moment. (5 students, lots of parties!) we missed the letter that told us that we were going to have a rent inspection so we didnt clean beforehand. they are giving us 2 weeks and then we have another one so hopefully it will be remedied! thanks for your concern
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Time to start cleaning then!
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BEST: My almost 3 year old son who has severe speech delay has started imitating certain words, which is a huge step for him in the right direction. He is a very shy little fellow, but he surprised me yesterday by becoming smiley in the supermarket, and trying to draw attention from strangers. He then reached up to high five someone, and bam, hit a man in the crotch. I can’t stop bursting in to giggles when I think about it… Luckilly, the man just wandered on by, completely unfazed…
WORST: I have a ton of work projects on the go at the moment, and can’t stop procrastinating.
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As a speechie student, this is a fabulous best and I am absolutely sharing your excitement
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My 2.5 year old son is also not speaking, have him booked into a speech therapist – massive wait lists though am on public and private wait list.. Have had his hearing tested which is all fine and he understands everything we say to him.. Just want to chat with him – his 5 year old sister doesn’t STOP talking.
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Yay so happy for you my 5.5year old has verbal dyspraxia and wasnt talking at all at 3 those firsts made me cry and now she is out going and doing well at school and competing in dance comps keep up the great work
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Best of the best!!
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Best – trying (twice in one week!) Tasti D.lite… mmmmmm low-fat soft serve in many, many flavours http://tastidlite.com.au/
So far, there are just two locations in Vic: http://tastidlite.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=25&Itemid=24
It’s my new shopping treat!
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WORST: Completely agree with Bec’s worst about Andrea. SO, SO, SO sad that it’s almost unbelievable. Totally petrifying and the whole issue needs to be addressed properly, BIG TIME.
BEST: Currently HEAD TO TOE in Chocolate Ganache. Let me tell you, it’s not a bad place to be.
If you are interested in the PHINAL OUTCOME of said ganache, come and hang out here…..
http://www.facebook.com/phoodieblog
Have a great weekend MM COM!
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*drools*
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YUM!
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My best & worst this week are actually the same thing… that is my period. Yes weird I know BUT I stopped my pill over 2 months ago now and once I stopped I had a break through bleed but then nothing! I was starting to get worried and even though I was feeling all the symptoms I usually do before I get my period for the last 2 weeks nothing was happening. I had read online that some people don’t get their period for 6 months after stopping the pill! That really got me worried but then and this my BEST it did come! I can’t say I have ever been so excited to get it!
This excitement didn’t last very long since the pain has been BAD and that’s my WORST! I was having a great streak with my exercise, going to the gym everyday, going for walks with my husband and then this happened and now I feel like I can barely walk! I just can’t seem to find the energy or strength to get to the gym and even going for a walk is a struggle! Does anyone have any suggestions re exercising during your time of the month?
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No suiggestions re exercise but I can relate to your experience coming off the pill. I’m in the same boat and was 12 days late this month. And I felt tired and bloated every oen of those days!
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Uhhh that sux! I hope mine won’t cause me too much grief, don’t want to go back on the pill again!
Yep tired and bloated is exactly how I feel!
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Best to stick with it.
I experimented coming off the pill last year and got every horrible symptom – except weight gain thankfully. But I had sore back, cramps, headaches, chills etc. It was so bad I did some google research and discovered its quite common and it can last up to 12 months.
I found it quite concerning. I’m not usually the hippy type but I wondered whether we should be giving women more information about the pill before giving out prescriptions. I went on the pill at 16 and had no real idea how it worked or that the side effects of coming off could be so bad.
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Ohhh, that’s not good! Not only do I feel sorry for you, I now feel more apprehensive about when we do eventually TTC, and I have to come off it myself. Ugh.
Who designed us that way, anyway?
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Best: Bought myself a pair of YELLOW jeans thanks to some Mamamia inspiration and a lovely sale at Westfield last night! Wore them to work today and my whole office is laughing at me, but I’m rocking them anyway
Worst: Think I’ve got a chest infection….most likely bought on by burning the candle at both ends for the last month. Need to take a step back….dry August perhaps?
OMM: The need to pull myself out of this massive funk I’ve been in, move past some crap that I’ve been holding onto, and start afresh.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
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Best… I know this is going to sound strange but my husband and I finally got the strength to look at the photos we took of our stillborn son that was born a month ago. I miss him everyday and I felt that my mind was forgetting him. It was such an emotional experience to do, but now I feel so relieved. He feels real to me now. I just wish he was here with us. Xx
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Sorry for your loss Sally. I admire your strength I can imagine it wasn’t an easy thing to do, all the best for this hard time.
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Sally, I am so sorry for you loss x x x
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I am sending you the biggest, biggest hug.
xxxxx
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Sally. So brave. Don’t know what to say except sending hugs.
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Not strange at all. It gets easier…eventually. xxx
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There is an free community org called Heartfelt if you didn’t have photos done at the time by them they can retouch photos for free…….
https://www.facebook.com/Heartfelt.Australia?ref=ts
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Dear Sally, I cannot imagine how hard that must be.
Sending big hugs.
I know it’s all different but when I lost my baby through an ectopic pregnancy, I was very sad not to get to know that child… but my sister told me that the spirit and energy of that child would be present in my next (or other) children. This always brought me some comfort.
Hugs again xxxx
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Best: Have put in four intense classes at the gym this week and will do Sunday too. Feeling the fittest and most toned that I have ever been. I did Step for the first time and holy moly – my butt! My calves! But it was super.
Worst: Finding out that my brother and his fiance have decided to get married in Las Vegas next March. So disappointed as it is going to cost my husband and I, plus our two toddlers, nearly $10k in flights. And that is without food or accommodation. Not to mention my boys will be 2.5yrs and nearly 4years by then so guessing flying won’t be much fun as they have never flown before. I only have one brother and so I’m a bit upset. He only admitted that it is so he doesn’t have to invite every single aunty and cousin they have. My husband and I did the traditional wedding four years ago and invited every single relative known to man as it was kind of expected of us. Not that we had a bad day but it was a “responsible” wedding if you know what I mean. Sometimes I wish I could just do whatever the hell I wanted, like my brother and his fiance, and to hell with the consequences. As it is Mum is saying things like “Oh you know he’s always done what he likes” and other words like that.
OMM: Very frightened of the thought of starting Uni. Am currently undertaking a program to refresh mature aged students in studying again. The test in this program is hard enough!
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Don’t people get married overseas cos they really don’t want their relatives to come
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Yes, thanks Captain Obvious….
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No, there are many many reasons. I don’thave any relatives but the reasons i would marry os is the simplicity, the exotic location and I can not stand all the carry on, dramas and problems of weddings.
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Vegas is amazing! Even the kids will enjoy the sights
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Hi Emmeline – I agree, that’s a bit mean of your brother. But if you really want to go, can you go solo and leave boys with your husb for a week? Treat it as a bit of a break before staring uni – if the idea appeals to you, that is.
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Goodness, a reply from Kate Hunter….*waves enthusiastically*! Yes a good friend has suggested the solo visit. Awfully tempting if I can put the Mummy Guilt aside….will have a think about that one.
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*waves back* I LOVE Vegas – my sister lived there for some years and I visited twice – once with kids when they were 8, 6 and 3. Both trips were fantastic (surprisingly, there’s a lot to do with kids there) but it does cost money and you’ll have a ‘truer’ Vegas experience going kid-free. Two little kids and a uni course – sounds like you deserve a little getaway
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Hi Emmeline, I just wanted to say that I have had to overcome mummy guilt to leave my husband and son at home and travel and it worked out really well. I was able to relax and enjoy the trip, the boys missed me but appreciated me all the more when I got home and now we’re planning a smaller family holiday together that we can afford and will all enjoy. I also went back to uni when my son was 3 and it was a fantastic experience. I was the only mature age student on my course and the staff and other students were all great – I really enjoyed it. Good luck!
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Do it. Enjoy the trip away…overseas travel will be be pretty gruelling with children that young. To hell with mummy guilt…you’ll return so refreshed you’ll be an even better mum for them : )
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You can do whatever the hell you want
Do it! You remind me of my older sister, she’s always chosen to be the ‘responsible child’ and resents me because I don’t let my family’s stupid/selfish expectations rule my life. I don’t think your brother is being selfish at all. It’s his wedding, it’s his big day and he deserves to enjoy it. Only got one life…not going to spend mine pleasing everyone else all the time.
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Trace, that’s very good advice, I agree with every word.
Good on your brother for having the guts to do what he wants and not let your parents’ expectations dictate what kind of a wedding he should have. It’s not his fault you didn’t do the same.
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My son first flew when he was 2 and he was BEYOND excited. Planes are so exciting for boys…
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Your brother sounds less far conscientious than you. And selfish. Does his fiance not want her family there either? Why couldn’t they get married on an island off Queensland and just invited the immediate family? Would your mum and dad be able to help with your airfares? Or could you explain to your brother that it is going to be hard for your family? A friend got married in Vegas. Just her and her husband. Then they had a party at home a month later. Maybe you could do the party at home and just keep it small?
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Pleeeeeease write another novel! I own a dog eared copy of girl most likely, it’s my fave!
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Best? I was one of the lucky gals who got to squeeze baby Fin on his flying visit to Brisbane. Oh yes, I saw Bec too. Worst? People in our ‘hood are freaking out because the police issued an alert about a flasher in the area. Traffic has become much heavier around the schools in the mornings and afternoons. One danger has been replaced by another.
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We were told a man in a blue car is stopping and asking kids to get in the car with him (we’re at Oakleigh, I think you’re nearby?). The police do a drive-by of the school every morning and afternoon. It’s great that everyone is being so vigilant but also a bit weird because any male near the school is now getting the evil eye. When my husband drops our son off at school he waits for him to walk up the footpath and into the school gates before driving off (we don’t hold up traffic because we manage to arrive 2 minutes after the bell every day). Lately while he has been in the car waiting he’s had the school mums lined up and staring at him.
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I’d be doing a lot more than “staring at him” if i saw him!!!
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Think of the 5 mins of school your son is missing by the time he gets to class each day, 25 mins a week, that’s a whole day a term if he’s late every day.
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Are you referring to Anonymous saying that they arrive 2 minutes after the bell every day because there is a pervert stalking children?! If so, what an inane and ridiculous comment.
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My worst just happened
My boss emailed saying he’s leaving for the day (starting the long weekend early, Bank Holiday) but made no mention that we can do the same.
Every other team has been told by their manager they can leave early, except us.It will be very lonely by 5pm…
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Best-our saving plan of attack for July went really well, quite motivated for august now.
Done lots of Playgroup stuff this week, my 3 yr old has grown in confidence already after the first week.
Getting lots of compliments on my haircut, feeling pretty
Worst-feeling fat!!
Omm-olympics. Want to see lots more sport, not just swimming!!
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Worst – A teacher from my high school died suddenly on the weekend. He was such a passionate educator and genuinely kind person. He was only 52.
Best (if this counts as a best) – seeing how great an impact he left on so many people, also how supportive the school community has been toward each other.
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I do not have a worst this week! Only lots of wonderful bests, competing with each other in their awesomeness.
Have had a fabulous seven days and life is only getting better, as my best mates from school are all coming to Sydney to visit this weekend.
Have an amazing couple of days off MM-ers! Xxx
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Worst – My house got broken into and all my Jewellery was taken, wedding and engagement rings, diamond bracelets and earrings, family pieces that were given to me before I moved to Australia, and piles and piles of cheap piecese that I’ve been accumulating for years. Fairly sure I wasn’t at home at the time. I’ve only lived here a month.
Best- getting to meet all my new neighbours when I went to tell them to be sure and lock up- such a nice bunch and told me the neighbourhood is generally lovely. One guy said he hadn’t locked his door in months and wasn’t even sure where his keys were!! Went past there yesterday and his door was wide open. I’m almost tempted to rob it myself!!!
OMM- not sure how to put this – how do you decide how ‘suspicious’ someone is before calling the police? For example a few weeks ago I saw two men at the duck pond talking quietly, looking around, basically it looked like a junkie doing a drug deal, although I can’t prove it. I don’t think there is much the police can do when you see something like this, so where is the line?
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Well don’t call 000 but call Crimestoppers. They always urge people to report something. No matter how insignificant you think it is.
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131 444 – Police non-emergency line.
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Best: olympics – love tham
Worst: money … stupid stuff … got a lot of it thanks to a tax return and had it entirely fleeced by bills. And I’m a bit miffed by that. I know bills have to be paid but I had mentally spent it on nice stuff – shoes, weekend away with family … oh well … at least the bills are paid…
OMM: Just how freezing cold it is!! And how much I am going to have to ‘man up’ and go and split some firewood. We’ve been using a split system but cold blowing air isn’t as ‘warm’ as a wood fire and I have some massive blocks out there just need to go wield the axe .. literally
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I love splitting wood!
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OMM: Without giving too much away, it looks like a person close to me is involved in a cult. They are talking all sorts of nonsense and giving money to the leader.
At the moment it doesn’t look as if there’s much harm apart from them possibly being manipulated, or just believing in rubbish (astral spirits, reincarnation etc).
I really don’t know what to do, should I confront them, or leave them to believe what they want as long as it isn’t hurting anyone?
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Believing in Reincarnation isn’t rubbish anymore than believing in God!
Giving money to some “Spiritual” leader is stupid though!
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