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by JAMILA RIZVI
Ladies and (the occasional but much cherished) gentlemen, welcome to Friday.
Friday is the day of the week that got freaky. The day where some of us get to go casual. Once a year it’s officially Good and every now and then it turns 13 and goes all ‘black cats walking under ladders made of smashed mirrors’ on us.
It is also the one and only day of the week that has a style of cooked eggs in its name. And I’m sure that that is in some way, significant.
BUT most importantly, here at Mamamia, Friday is when we come together to celebrate each others’ triumphs and to seek comfort from our friends if we have suffered a loss. Here are my best and worst for the week.
Best: On Wednesday I flew back to my beautiful but freezing hometown of Canberra and stayed for all of about 12 hours. It was absolutely worth it. I rocked the ‘demented fairy biker chic’ look at the annual Press Gallery Ball – stay tuned for THAT on the runways of Paris and Milan in the coming months. And I got to catch up with some wonderful friends. You know those people who you don’t see very often but when you do, you just pick up where you left off and it’s as if you were never apart?
Worst: Boxes. It’s the ultimate first world problem to complain that you have too much stuff to unpack when you’ve just moved house, right? Well, I don’t care. I’m going to own it. I am so sick to death of boxes. In my life, boxes are everywhere. There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to how there can be THIS many boxes. Also, no remotely sensible method appears to have been employed (by me!) in the packing process.
Exhibit A: Last night I finally found my hairdryer. Where was it? In a crate filled with cereal bowls, old law textbooks, Christmas decorations and pillow cases. Logic is not my strong point. When a box arrives in the mail at the Mamamia offices these days, I can be found hiding in the corner, in fetal position, rocking back and forward. Please let this be over soon.
What were your best and worst bits of the week?
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276 Comments so far
Best: Getting a phone call from mum this morning telling me that she’s FINALLY getting to have the first of her knee reconstructions (she needs both done). Poor woman is in so much pain and it breaks my heart everyday. Someone cancelled and for some reason a total of 9 people said no when offered the earlier date.
Best: Starting to actually stick to the healthy eating plans and actually getting in some exercise each night.
Worst: Having had a cold all of last week and realising that I probably need to start taking antibiotics for the sore throat that’s hung around for 2 weeks.
OMM: Getting pregnant. Will my brain stop thinking about this whilst we’re trying? I can’t focus on much else especially in the two weeks after ovulating.
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Best: I start my school holidays a week before my kids so I have had the most delightful week meeting friends for coffee, reading, cooking, gardening and basically enjoying the tranquillity! I’m never alone in the house anymore so this week has been blissful and I’m now unbelievably calm and relaxed. Now looking forward to my kids finishing their term this afternoon so we can hang out for the next fortnight
Worst: Have spent the week baking… and eating! Oh dear!
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Love reading mamamia, love the community here and figure its time to stop lurking and start contributing.
Have to start with worst: my boyfriend of three years who has been overseas studying for 5 months cheated on me, then came back home to tell me ‘I’m confused, I don’t know what I want.’ Biggest shock of my life. All my dreams and hopes completely gone. Someone who I loved so, so so much just walked away from three great years. He didn’t even have the balls to break up with me, I had to do it! Two weeks down the track and I know it’s over for good (and that it’s the best thing for me) but man does it suck. I’m sick of wasting my time thinking about someone who never truly thought of me…..
Best: Thank god it happened now and I didn’t waste more years on that scumbag! It’s also an exciting place to be in, I finally get to do what I want, I don’t have to sacrifice my dreams for anyone. I can do anything. That is a crazy/exciting/nerve racking feeling. Also I am so thankful for all the beautiful people in my life, especially my beautiful parents, who have rallied around me. Such amazing support.
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Welcome! Xxx
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Your post made me smile. You went through what I’m sure would have been a really painful break up, but you seem to have such a great outlook on it. Good on you for realising that you are worth better, and I’m glad you’ve got great people around you for those moments when you might be feeling a bit down xxx
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Good luck to you Dani, your positive attitude will help u, I Just know ur going to b okay and he’ll be back begging for u in 6 months when ur living the life u always wanted!
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Dani, you sound amazing. So well balanced. Good on you for handling the breakup so well xxx
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thanks guys, it means a lot! I’m just trying to get through the anger, I just don’t know what I did to be treated so appallingly. I gave him so much love, emotional and financial support over the years, and he jut treats me like a three month fling. Girls gotta hope for something better hey?!
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Well it’s obvious to all of us that you can and will do better. And it’s much better that you discovered this now then a few years in the future. He obviously has issues that have nothing to do with you, that he needs to work on.
Maybe this will be the learning experience he needs but still doesn’t help you as it’s so painful. Let us know if you need to just rant, lots of support on here for you xx
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Happy Friday!
Best #1: Catching up on HEAPS of sleep and just generally doing nothing. I love school holidays.
Best #2: Caught up with two gorgeous friends yesterday. Lunch, movies and chatting.
Best #3: Booked two tours for when me and my family are in Adelaide in mid July (I’m going with my mum, dad and sister for my brother’s 21st birthday). We booked a day tour to Kangaroo Island and a day tour to the Barossa Valley. Can’t wait!
Worst: One of my closest friends is being tested for breast cancer. She is only 27 like me, and the doctor is fairly positive that if it is cancer it would be benign, but it still sucks. She has her biopsy on Monday and will get the results on Thursday. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome xx
OMM: Whether to try internet dating again. I was blessed with quite a few ‘kisses’ and conversations last time, but never had the guts to actually meet any of the lovely guys. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before and last night I got a bit teary wondering whether I was wasting my life. I’m quite content being single, but would love to experience love…
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Don’t be afraid to do the internet dating! Whilst i’m sure there are some ‘interesting’ people on there you probably wouldn’t want to meet, i know of some great successes. One of my closest friends met her now husband through an internet dating website and I don’t think they could be more perfect for each other. My mum also met her partner (of ten years now) through the phone dating thing.
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I meet my husband on RSVP over 3 years ago, I was 35 and very much enjoying being single, my best friend in London wrote my profile.
Go on give it a go, even if you don’t find the one, I meet some lovely guys on there whom I am still friends with and even attended one of their weddings, so it does happen. Go into it with an open mind and heart.
I did have to kiss a few toads till I found my prince charming, he was just an unclaimed treasure.
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Internet dating is not much fun if you’re over 40. I think I’ve finally realised I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. Struggling a bit this week with that.
Please, if anyone thinks of saying “it’ll happen when you stop looking” or “it’ll happen when you least expect it” please don’t say it. It won’t.
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My mum is 62 and she has more dates than me and my sister due to internet dating! She was with a partner for 5 years that she met online, and now she’s back on the scene again with very good results. Maybe you could workshop your profile on MM and get some tips for attracting people you like?
I’m so sorry you’re feeling how you’re feeling xx
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but if you say that it won’t happen, then it won’t. Your mind is incredibly powerful and believes what you tell it.
I don’t believe that it will happen when you stop looking, I think you meet people when you want to. It is harder after 40, but if you are positive and enjoy meeting new people then you will.
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Sydgel – I do want to meet someone and I like meeting people but there’s only so many lying, cheating men that I can cope with. 10 year old photos. Men looking just for sex. Men looking for a free meal & drinks. Men who want to talk about themselves & don’t care about getting to know me. Men who lie on their profiles. Men who are in my age group but are looking for women 10+ years younger. There’s only so much of that that I can cope with.
I’m a bit over the bullshit and the tired platitudes,
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Aaar so you have done some internet dating. Yeah I hate the guys who are in their 40′s and want woman in their 20s makes me puke.
I think internet dating is a needle in a haystack, you hear all the stories abt how people met their husband or wife but that’s one in a thousand.
I still think the local community is the best way to meet people. And you meet people that you actually have stuff in common with.
Internet dating enables you to meet people you wld normally never meet, but I wonder whether there’s a reason for that! Good luck xx
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Try it! Dating can be lots of fun and I met so many lovely guys on eharmony – 2 of them are now friends and 1 of them is now my boyfriend! We are so well-suited to each other that irs either the eharmony survey doing its work or fantastically good luck!
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I’m the opposite – I loathe eharmony, think it’s a load of rubbish. The men it said were suitable for me couldn’t have been more unsuitable!!! It was a joke. My girlfriends all had the same, bad, experience.
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I met my partner of just over 3 years online. Met a lot of lovely guys who I never clicked with romantically but had a great time anyway. I did also have some dates that were just odd – one guy wanted me to commit to him an hour into our first date. The date lasted another few minutes – just long enough for me to explain that wasn’t going to happen.
I was 42 and my partner 31 when we met so don’t give up Anonnymouse. Took me a while but I looked at it as a lot of fun and it gave me interesting stories to tell until I met Mr hms.
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Thanks for all your positive stories. I love hearing how internet dating has worked for many people and that it is losing its taboo feeling. Makes me think it could just happen for me xx
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But don’t rely just on internet dating, i have tried it and met my ex that way. But I truly believe in local community, meeting people at cafes, local pub etc. I much prefer that.
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I met my husband on RSVP. When you meet the one it doesn’t matter how it was facilitated, just that you have… we never would have crossed paths in our daily lives, so we just consider ourselfs blessed.
give it a crack, what’s the worst that can happen? You end up right back where you are and happy you gave it a shot
(and probably more than one shot, i too met my share of toads when i was going on 3-4 dates/week, but my prince was found at the end of one eventful day – he was the third of the 3-dates-that-day!!!) we still laugh about it, particularly because the second was one of THE WORST dates I’ve ever had and i was contemplating not going to the third!
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Best: Great week on Mamamia,well done to all the team:)
OMM: it’s been 18 months since my Mum died and I feel as if I am coming out of the fog that has engulfed me since her death.She will be glad that I am smiling again.
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Thanks Jem! Keep taking care of yourself, glad to hear you’re smiling
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Best: #1 son turned 7 and has been carrying around his new books all week. I love that he’s a little reader!
Worst: #3 son dislocating his elbow at soccer practice. 3 hours in RPA is not a fun way to spend an evening, but all better now.
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Worst: Getting caught up James W’s post, knowing & owning what we did for our family, but not wanting to expose myself on a web site to a group I just don’t know.
Best: Report cards came home – all that hard work listening to Mr6 sound out each & every word in his readers each night is paying off.
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Best: the kids are still cute
Miss C’s (3.5) behaviour is improving all the time. I hope we are leaving the threenager behind, as when she is good she is delightful. Master A (15 months) has been doing the cutest things (like sneaking into the cupboard, taking the dry cat food out, and running to the laundry to feed the cat. Except I’m finding little piles of cat food everywhere that he is stashing away for later. Too cute).
Stuff happened (not a worst or a best, just stuff): Had my MRI yesterday but won’t know results for a few weeks. Had a pap smear today! (go on, you know you need one too!).
Worst: Now have a referral for a mammogram/ultrasound and a referral to a breast surgeon to review the lumps in my breast. Sigh. It’s fun being a hypochondriac.
Worst: money. Had a big fight with husand about our finances but it has made us really redo our budget, and do a bit of rejigging of things to take the pressure off. But things are very tight and it is depressing.
Just because, here is a picture of some rainy day fun. Yes I’m mad to let a toddler and a baby paint on the wall, but they had fun. Yes any spills washed off easily. Yes they are still in their pyjamas. But they are cute.
Also OMM: Campbell Newman *shakes head* and feeling so bad for so many public servants directly affected by his decisions. Qld, we are in for a rough ride!
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Good luck on mamo – I hope it all works out for you… ps: i love mums like you – this is a GREAT photo. I love the pinnies over thee pyjamas – as if that would make a difference… i bet their bath water was an interesting colour, ha ha.
ps: I know that when I rang all our providers & moved our bills from quarterly to monthly it made a huge difference to the bills rollercoaster. I called electric/water/gas & asked them to bill monthly – they then took the average over the past year & that is the billing amount, every now & again I get a letter to say they are adjusting it based on our usage. It meant that we went from having to find that quarterly big chunk to having it come out of the account in manageable amounts, plus I knew it was coming. I really think that it made a difference for us, it certainly took a lot of that stress away, I would have done it years sooner if I’d known about it.
Good luck all round. d
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aw thanks, Miss C really loves her craft. We have a doodle drawer too which she loves to just pull stuff out of and make – just running interference with Master A is a bit interesting!
Thanks for the tip about the bills. We already do that with the electricity, but I might look at what else we can do. Husband gets paid montly so we have had to juggle that for a while now. What we did was move some money around on credit cards to limit interest, pull back on the mortgage repayments (we were paying more than we needed to), be strict on meal plans and running the pantry down. (we have had a habit of buying things in bulk on special, but then we don’t necessarily use it) etc etc. I’m hoping we get a nice tax refund to ease the pressure a bit.
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This photo makes me remember that awesome ABC kids show ‘Art Attack’ – what a great picture! Xx
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Hi oopsy, just wondering what you think the state government should be doing to save the $$$ instead of what is currently happening?
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Well given my worst involves budgetary woes, I’m not sure I’m the best person to be asking. However, I know what he is doing now doesn’t sit well with me on a number of levels.
3000 people will be out of work today. The ripple effect on the community/economy will be substantial. I have had friends directly affected who say that the work is still there, and still needs to be done. So it will now be outsourced. That just feels like robbing peter to pay paul.
And this is also while he is cutting back the solar REC’s (sp. ?), whilst capping electricity costs. Now the electricity companies are saying that irrespective, they will put prices up because of his actions. But now there is no financial incentive to go solar either.
Not to mention Campbell Newmans appalling decisions to reverse the civil union bill, the surrogacy laws, etc etc. His decision to side with the ACL because they were “offended” is immoral. You can’t tell me that allowing homosexuals the right to get married will cost the state money?
So no, I don’t know how to save the state money, but I worry that CN is acting unchecked, that there will be more pain for many more people in the months ahead.
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Oopsyboops, why does it take weeks to get the results from your MRI? How do you cope with that?
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Oh well it’s kinda my fault for booking the neuro appointment first, then the MRI (I try to do all the medical appointments on the two days the kids are at daycare so I don’t always get the first slot). I don’t go back to see him for 3 more weeks (I only saw him two weeks ago). I expected to get the films yesterday but they were “it’s ok, we will send them to him”. I said “it’s ok, I will wait!!” but they insisted tee hee. As I would definitnley have looked at them! (I could have read them enough to see any changes). *shrugs* I figure if there is anything too drastic on it he will let me know before then. I’m *hoping* and expecting that the swelling has decreased. Absolutely hoping beyond thunderdome that blobby is shrinking but not expecting that outcome just yet
All the other lumpy bits of me are bothering me more right now. That is booked in for next week.
Hope you guys are having a good week and got rid of your dirt
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We made that mistake once. I forgot to arrange the MRI appointment until it was nearly due. We had to wait 5 days between the MRI and the appointment with the oncologist. My hubby was climbing the walls by the time we got to see the doctor. Now at each scan, Imake an appointment for the next MRI. I can’t imagine waiting weeks. You sound like you’ve got it together
you go girl!
We are having a good week. Today is the last day of 6 months of chemo. Things are looking up!
As for the dirt, I thought I’d gotten rid of it but the person who wanted the bulk of it has realised this isn’t the time of year to be putting top soil on the grass. So I’ve still got it all sitting here. Want some?
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lol it does help that I only had a scan 2 months ago, don’t expect too much to have changed in that time (other than the swelling).
the dirt is tempting, but no, we are good for the moment
Yay yay yay for the end of chemo. Here’s to a brighter future!!
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The public system, which I used initially, (ironically they could see me quicker than a private doctor) used to book my MRI when I booked my outpatients appt. it was anything from 2 weeks to 5 days before. So sometimes, I ended up extremely agitated by the time I got there. My current doctor likes them on a CD, so I’d have to put it on a computer.
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I had the mammogram last year and an USS because of lumps. I told the Radiographer I hated the place because I had my diagnostic CT done there too. I think because of this she told me I had nothing to worry about there and then. Hehe.
I had my skin checked a few months later. You could always do that. It would cover ALL the bases. Unless you want an endoscopy too…..
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lol well I’m also having a pelvic ultrasound as I’m having some odd bleeding so… why not. Chuck an endoscopy in too!! tee hee. Even if the scans come back clear, I’m going to see what the breast surgeon says as I’m just not happy to leave the lumps there. I’m fairly convinved blobby is a hormone receptive tumour so I don’t want to take any chances
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Lovely, maybe you should look at some shares in your local radiology clinic…..
Good luck with them.
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Best: Went to see an amazing clairvoyant this week who said that my grandma’s spirit is around me and my son constantly, and that my bun in the oven is a girl (we have a boy and would love a girl this time round)!! It was such a positive experience that I left feeling like I was on cloud 9, with a big fat smile on my face
Worst: Dealing with the itchiness and pain of shingles (while pregnant)!!!!!
OMM: The asylum seeker tragedies that have occurred this week and the stalemate in parliament regarding offshore processing. I work in this particular industry, and any outcome will significantly affect my work. Seeing images on TV of mums with baby in hand being rescued, just brought me to tears. And this goes to show what a dork I am – I watched so much coverage of the issue and the ensuing debate in parliament that I even had dreams of question time in parliament on the issue. I know. Seriously. I need to get out more.
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Dianne, as soon as I read your comment, I saw clouds of pink roses, and smelled a perfume like Arpege or 4711 and your grandma says that even though it’s winter and the roses are not blooming, you will still know she’s around you because you will keep seeing silk roses, fake ones, roses on fabric, there is a constant rose motif in your life, and if you touch the bracelet you always wear, you will feel her near you.
xxx
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Huh???? Xanthe are you psychic?
Dianne where was this clairvoyant????
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Happy Friday all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best: Busy Week at work which has made it go fast! got invited to a Qantas Travel lunch at the Hyatt for two weeks time yay! and also our company is taking a table at a Charity ball and our team was selected my boss just asked me to select 5 people to represent the company so thats going to be such fun in August!
and best is that my beautiful husband isnt at uni so he has lots of free time to spend with his wifey! went on an amazing date last night to a quaint little bar/pub near our house and had pinot and lamb shanks! mm was so yummy!! 
Worst: My brother breaking up with his gf of 5 years
so sad we loved her! and second worst is our retarded goverment not making a decision on the asylum seeker policy….they have just handballed it off whilst they go on their tax payer funding winter holidays!!! pathetic!!!
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Best, Worst and OMM (all at once): My partner of 4 and a bit years has accepted a job in central QLD. It’s a great career move and the money is awesome but I’m going to miss him godamnit! I’m not in a position to go with him at the moment (I am close to finishing my degree that is not offered externally and I have some awesome prac lined up for later in the year)
I know we will make it work and that we are a strong enough couple to do it but it still makes me sad that I won’t wake up/ go to sleep with him every night.
So if anyone who has done/ doing this has any advice, I’m all ears
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My hubby and I have managed FIFO for 6 years. We talk every day, twice a day and have learned to tackle the big issues on the phone. It’s hard but it can be done. Also don’t expect things to be the same when he comes home for days off. He will be exhausted. You may have to adjust your leisure activities.
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Worst: Had a really crappy day at work the other day, other staff being nasty for no good reason and taking their home frustrations out on me. Not on!
Best: That I have a 4 day weekend now, and my fiance and I are heading to a hotel in the city to enjoy a relaxing weekend for our 4th anniversary! Gold class cinemas, yummy meals, coffees and cuddles- I can’t wait!
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You are hilarious Jamila, and I loved the dress you wore to the ball.
This week I am having a best & worst combined. I am leaving my job and today is my last day. It’s a litte scary but super exciting at the same time. I don’t have a new job yet, I am just going to take it as it comes. It is a total worst because I will miss my colleagues and guests so much but it feels like the right thing to do. http://www.inglossybeauty.com/2012/06/taking-leap.html
OMM: No alarm clock for the next few weeks:)
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Worst: my partner left me. It started with the ‘we have to talk’ and ended in him leaving. Completely out of the blue. I thought we were happy and consequently fell apart. Now he has gone back on it and says he is confused and wants a lot of space but for us to still see each other and essentially date to see how he feels. I have never been so confused but also happy that he hasn’t thrown it all away. It’s so hard waiting around for someone though….
Best: my friends and family reminding me that all is not lost and that if it doesn’t work I WILL get over him and have a life for myself. It’s just so hard to see at the moment.
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Oh H – sounds like a very difficult situation! No wise words here unfortunately but sending you a virtual block of chocolate and a hug
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Thanks!
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Oh H, how awful!! I’m so sorry this has happened. Can I suggest that you completely cut yourself off for him for a set period of time – say, 3 months? That way he has a chance to truly miss you and realise he loves you – rather than still sorta seeing him so that he gets the best of you and still gets to sleep around while you feel more and more pathetic. If after 3 months he still doesn’t know what he wants or still wants to play around then you know he’s not for you and you can move on with hands washed clean.
I did this with my ex. I needed to be single but still wanted to see him because I loved him. He refused to be in a half relationship, and I respected him so much for the way he handled himself and because of the respect he damanded. Now I’m meeting him overseas next week because I realised I couldn’t live without him.
Good luck. Whatever happens is exactly what is supposed to happen xxxx
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That’s really good advice! I have been thinking a lot about the whole being a sorta girlfriend thing.
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Don’t do it. It will erode your self esteem and taint the purity of the relationship you once had. Stay strong and respectful of yourself. Who knows – you might find that you are happy and excited by life without him, and not want him back after the three months. Best of luck xx
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I hear ya…wrote an almost exact same best and worst above! read the book ‘it’s called a break up because it’s broken’ ….you will laugh through the tears but it does have some amazing points….
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Yipee for Yippee! – she’s hit the head on the nail squarely here – and said exactly as I would have said to you.
Don’t compromise. Ever.
xx
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Oh H… so sorry this is happening to you. The exact same thing happened to me, he left, then changed his mind… it wa a nightmare.
If you can be really strong and tell him to go away and sort himself out. Doing the “date to see how he feels” is WRONG! It will only cause heartache.
Don’t accept scraps, because that is what he is offering you. Be strong and wise. Send him on his way, stand tell, cut all contact and focus on getting yourself better. And don’t hesitate to ask advice or rant on here, there is tonnes of support and lots of experience available to you.
We all think we’ll never get over him, but we all do. Good luck xx
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Thank you! I think I will be taking that advice. It’s a terrible feeling to be waiting around to hear from him. I’m really seeing that I deserve better.
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Worst: Been a bit to conscious of money. Time to get those good thoughts happening again! So much of the world is in ruin… Hmm. That worked. It’s sad but true in so many different ways.
Best: Learning who my good friends really are and letting go of ones that you never get anything from in return. Having great colleagues who I spend a little too much time chatting to during the day.
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Best – My boyfriend got back from Thailand on Sunday – its soooo good to have him back! We’ve been so loved up all week too – I feel so lucky to be in such a loving supportive relationship
Worst – nothing!
OMM – Its my boyfriend’s birthday in a month. I want to get him an amazing present but am stuck for ideas. Help me MMers! Any suggestions very gratefully received
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What kind of guy is he?
Sport-y, book-y, tech-y, adventurist?
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BEST: I picked up my knitting last night and found it very very difficult to put it down.
BEST 2: I have nothing planned on the weekend. There will be gaming as both Gamer Guy and our other buddy are free, so I will get to put on my sniper hat all weekend. Snipers knit don’t they?
WORST: Money issues. Still.
WORST 2: I haven’t spoken to Gamer Guy for a week and a half. I’ve missed him. In fact I may have told him so in a text message on Tuesday. Oops.
Have a good weekend everyone!
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Snipers totally knit!
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I thought so! Rainbow scarf, here I come!
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Best: Got tickets to see Gotye in Brisbane later this year.
Worst: It has not stopped raining for ever, and me and my 3yr old have serious cabin fever.
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Worst: Feeling like death warmed up. My casual “who needs sleep anyway!” attitude has caught up with me. Uggggggh.
Best: Heading far north for the weekend so hopefully the Cairns sunshine will cure me!
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Sunshine cures everything! Have a great time.
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I have fallen in love with my ex. We’ve been ‘dating’ for 2 months now. We broke up for 2 years and kept in touch but saw other people. I wonder if we will be together forever this time. I wonder if I have the capacity to love one man for the rest of my life? I wonder if he feels the same? I know he loves me because he told me a little while ago, but we haven’t said it again. I’m going to wait until he says it first.
I’ve caught 5 babies this year. Amazing. I think I’m getting better each time. Unless something weird happens, then I have no idea.
OMM: where to apply for jobs next year, I thought it might be a good time to move interstate and try something new but my mum thinks its not the right time. Also, I would be moving away from the guy I’ve fallen in love with. Tricky times.
Sorry, this isn’t really following the rules of best/worst/OMM, I guess it reflects how I can’t keep my thoughts straight.
Love to all MMers.
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Hi Nursee,
Sounds like you’re a bit confused about how you’re feeling about this guy? I’m not sure if any of us knows for sure we could love one person for the rest of our lives but if you love each other maybe that’s the first hurdle and the next is to decide whether you really want to commit to the relationship or not. If you do commit to it, then an interstate move could still be an option but maybe it would need to be a decision you make together as a team rather than a decision you make for yourself and then tell him about later. Hope this doesn’t sound judgemental or know it all – but in my last relationship my then boyfriend decided to move for his job and didn’t involve me in the decision at all. We did long distance for 2 years but in hindsight I can see that if he was really committed to out relationship he would have discussed the decision with me rather than making the decision by himself. Good luck with it all – and enjoy being in love – its a wonderful feeling!
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Thanks for your reply
I have spoken to him a little about the interstate move, its all a bit up in the air at the moment because I don’t know if I’ll even get a job interstate.
I think we are both committed to seeing how things work out, we haven’t put a label on the relationship yet.
I think we have both grown but only time will really tell if the ‘old’ problems are going to become ‘current’ problems.
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In terms of the guy, just make sure that you’re on the same page. I did exactly the same thing with an ex a few years ago, but then he left me after we’d been back together for nine months (our ‘first’ relationship was for four years) for a seventeen year old (he was 30). Needless to say, I was not impressed. Also, there must have been reasons that you broke up, have these issues been resolved? If they have, great, if not, you’re probably going to end up in the exact boat that you were in beforehand.
You’ll get better at catching babies all the time. Just keep a level head and gentle hands! When something goes topsy turvy, try not to worry too much (it really shows on your face and tends to scare the crap out of the parents). Call for help and try to observe and keep calm (mega hard if the woman is having a big pph). It will come together and you’ll learn more all the time. Take the time to figure out ‘your way’ of doing things. It may well confuse other midwives/doctors who don’t know what you’re doing, and might not like it if you do things a ‘different’ way. Case in point, I always clamped the cord with the plastic clamp that stays on the baby and not the big metal clamp that looks like scissors. I was never comfortable having something that pointy near a newborn baby, but midwives and doctors didn’t like it. Absolutely no reason why, just because they didn’t do it themselves, even though it served the exact function that the metal clamp does. Work on your method of keeping pressure on the perineum to help prevent tearing. Oh, and try to learn how to do things like abdominal palpation using both left and right hands as the dominant hand. Good luck, I’m sure you’re doing great!
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Wow thats rough that he left you for such a young girl! what was he thinking?!
I am worried that we are going to end up in the same situation as last time but it feels different this time. I think we are taking it much slower and are much better at talking about what is going on.
Good idea with the abdo palp! Sometimes I have no idea what I’m feeling! yeah it is a bit weird having the metal clamp dangling off the baby. The midwife yesterday said I seemed really calm even though afterwards I said I was really nervous and worried.
Thanks for your reply
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Yeah, he’s lucky his car is still intact. When I left his house after he told me, my hands were just itching to key his car from top to bottom, but I didn’t do it. No inclination to live out the consequences of such an action. I’m still cross with him about the whole thing. So yeah, just take it slow, even though I know it’s tempting to jump straight back in with both feet. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite saying that, because I know that that would be my immediate emotional reaction!
I well remember the days when I was doing abdo palps and thinking ‘There could be a cat or a bird in here and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.’ The easiest way I think is to just figure out where the baby’s back is and go from there. Obviously the further along the woman is in the pregnancy, the easier this is. Once you’ve got the back, you can usually find landmarks if you can get a mental picture of what’s going on in there. Having said that, I have watched a woman have numerous abdo palps during her labour (including one by the head obstetrician on call at the time) and everyone received an enormous surprise when the baby came out breech. The doctor turned white with fear that something was going to go wrong. All fine though, baby didn’t need even the slightest amount of resus. Goes to show that everyone can get it wrong now and again.
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Abdo palps have always been my weakness (great on VEs) and its getting trickier as people are getting heavier.
Have a look at seek and ncah.com.au to see where a lot of the jobs are interstate, as well as the various state govt health department website to see where the jobs are. I’m not sure about other states, but I know the Qld govt is going to be cutting back as much as possible, so this will probably be reflected in the jobs. It was certainly the case in the 90s in Victoria. Good luck with it. My oldest will be looking for an RN grad year soon, so I’m hoping she’s ok too.
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BEST: Celebrated my 10th anniversary with a weekend away in wine country without the 6 year old and got promoted to Senior Research Fellow at work!
WORST: another damn cold *ahchooo*
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Wow – 10th anniversary AND a promotion – what a week! Congratulations on both
I hear you on the cold – I’ve just gotten over my second cold in as many months and I don’t usually get more than one in a year.
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Ive been a loooong time reader and occasional commenter here and I just wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed the mix of stories this week. Love the political stuff, the book posts and all the discussions. Well done guys!
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Good to hear Ladybug! Keep the feedback coming
x
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Waa hooo!
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Couldn’t agreed more. Fantastic mix this week guys. Thanks.
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Worst: After 11 weeks Long Service Leave, I have to go back to work next week
Best: After 11 weeks Long Service Leave, I completed 1st drafts of two books I hope to publish one day…
Other Best: Those of you with long memories might remember that this time last year that I was looking for an old-fashioned trench-coat, but all I could find were modern trenchies which are cut way too short…well, a year later I finally managed to find a good old-fashioned trenchy!
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Owning the Inspector Gadget Look JJ! Look forward to reading your books one day.
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(One must always wear a hat with a trenchy!)
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Can you guys hang around MM a bit more. Miss you. And where has ID gone? and Bradley has also gone quiet…hmm is there a “man convention” on somewhere that you’ve all been attending?
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You can find JJ on his website with Miss T – KiKi & Tea
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no!!! I’ve checked out Kiki & Tea – I far prefer JJ’s comments here. Much more varied. Come back JJ (and Bradley!)
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Can’t speak for the others, but I’m not on here as much because:
1) I’m busy running a website (in my spare time) with Miss T
2) I’ve been busy writing books
3) MM stopped publishing the Daily News post (with is where Idle and I did most of our commentating)
4) MM is publishing more articles about parenting and women’s issues that don’t really interest a middle-aged childless man (and that’s not a complaint…I’m not the target audience for MM…just being honest about not reading as many posts on MM as I used to…)
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God, that’s a pleasant change, I am normally getting told to p*** off on here.
Agree with JJ, the loss of news and current affairs content is dissapointing, but agree also, we are not the target audience.
Not that news should be a gender specific interest, but still, it always interested me that the daily news was mostly frequented by blokes (did some of my best debating with JJ, ID and the like – and for the record, would be happy to have a beer with everyone all the same).
Miss you so much it hurts Rick btw.
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Spat my tea out at your first line. I DO fit the target demographic but I also miss the news post..and the Rickster.
*sigh*
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See JohnJames, how could you think a workin’ gal wouldn’t find you attractive!
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Best: I’m off next week for 5 weeks in Europe. Cannot wait for sights, sunshine and shopping.
Worst & OMM: I’ve been pushing to move into a different section of the company. I’ve proven myself by bringing in a large client on my own but now I have to pass the job onto someone whilst I am away and I feel that when I get back they will get the credit for it and I’ll be left back where I started.
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Have fun!
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Best: coming home after everyday of work and seeing my boyfriend, equally smashed after a long day of work. It all feels better once you’ve had a big hug, and a debrief over some odd,whatever’s-in-the-fridge, concoction.
Worst: worrying events surrounding my loved ones.
Fingers crossed to a better week coming up!
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Worst: my husband is one of the thousands of qld public servants on a long term temporary contract who will lose his job today
Best: He will get to spend some quality time at home with our baby
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It’s terrible that he’s losing his job.. But, Buttercup, you seem very supportive and positive (I mean, you turned a worst of the week to a best!) so kudos to you!
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Worst: weathers been ghastly this week.
Best:day off, sitting in bed and kids are still asleep, I don’t have to go anywhere, so I’m relaxed (do have housework and should go for walk, however).
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Best: I won a $500 Spencer and Rutherford handbag!
Worst: I had a surgical procedure, cutting off granulation tissue from around my PEG tube with no anaesthetic. Ive had the same procedure 5 times before too.
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Best-am on holidays and am catching up on lots of housework and getting lots of planning done for next term. Quite excited about some of the new ideas I have to implement.
-Am catching up with my oldest friend tomorrow, who I have fallen out of contact with for the past 5 or so years due to distance and life. Can’t wait!
Worst-it has been rainy and cold (a 20 year cold snap for QLD) and our house is not built for cold weather. It is literally colder inside than outside!
-I have a pimple to size of a second head on my chin. I have not had a blind pimple like this for a good 5 years!! WTF?
Big problems here
Have a good weekend!
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I had a blind pimple like that on the end of my nose once. I looked like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. The worst part about it? I was at Movie World and got picked to do something at one of the attractions.
What I hate the most about blind pimples is that they hurt so freaking much!!
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Hi Sweetness
I live in Brisbane & I spend the mornings with my ugh boots, dressing gown, trackie pants & a beanie on. Some mornings I put an extra fleece jumper on over my PJ top & I have the air on too! Our houses are certainly not built for the cold. My daughter meanwhile take soft her slippers after twenty mins & sheds her dressing gown after an hour or so.
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Best : school holidays. Yay. I work at a school and my holidays started today. Two weeks of sleeping in, no school lunches, happy relaxed kids.
Worst: actually cannot think of a worst.
Enjoy the school holidays everyone. Have a safe and healthy time.
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Best: Finished exams on Tuesday! Yaaay! One more semester to go and then I am finished foreeeever.
Best #2: Walked a half-marathon last weekend, it was frigging hard work.
Worst: Nothing, really! Life is good.
Love and hugs to anyone doing it tough x
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Worst-early waking kids. I’m so tired!
Best – getting some nice sunny days. Losing some weight
Omm- July will be busy but looking forward to it going to be trying some new things
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Worst: I have fallen head over heels for someone and I can’t help but feel it’s mutual. They are currently in a relationship and though they’re trying to end it, I just can’t interfere. Also, we work together. And they’re 12 years older than me.
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How does a couple ‘try’ to end it exactly. Surely if that is what both want, then it just happens without needing to try. I suggest cool it until it is officially ended.
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Sorry, ‘they’re’ refers to the action of this one person, not the couple. And I would never do anything while the relationship is still on. I’ve had it done to me and it’s absolutely horrific. I think my main concern is that we work together so it’s hard to ignore it when we see one another everyday. I haven’t said anything to this person about how I feel and they haven’t, either. It’s just there and it’s awful and I want it to go away.
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You cant allow yourself to be the other woman. How would you feel if you were in if you were in a relationship and someone was trying to steal your boyfriend? Sorry, you cant do it. Wait until he’s single, otherwise its a no go area.
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Remember that however he (or she) behaves to his current partner during the breakup is a reflection of who he is at the core – and how he might one day treat you. I hope he treats her and their break up with the love and respect she and the relationship deserves. As you said – stay well out of it until it’s done and dusted. If you’re right for each other a delay will only be a good thing.
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…and I hope she treats him with the love and respect he deserves. Whats with the one way onus here?
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Umm because he’s the one leaving her for someone else?? The poor partner is about to get dumped and doesn’t know it, so she’s not the active party in the scenario, so I’m not commenting on her behaviour. And quite frankly, if she finds out he’s dumping her for someone else then she can act however she wants! I’m a bit baffled by your comment to be honest.
To elaborate on my previous comment – I think that when a person leaves a relationship when they’re interested in someone else, they can be so excited to bound into the new relationship that they dump the ex then cut them off and move on in about a nanosecond. The ex is left sitting there thinking “Wait. What? Weren’t we in love and together forever?? Now I don’t exist to you??” The newly partnered person doesn’t even think of the ex because they’re too busy being in love with their new partner. So what I was specifically meaning is that I hope he is respectful and loving enough to put time into the break up, rather than just cutting and running.
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Thank you, Alice. Very valuable advice. xx
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Best: school holidays, no early starts and no lunch boxes
Worst: the cold wet rainy weather.
OMM: The Block. I am confused and horrified actually. I just dont get it, something weird is going on there. Dale and Sophie must have the judges under a massive spell because their winning rooms and gardens dont look like award winners. They look like op shop disasters. The other contestants, who have all produced quality rooms should be really upset with the outcome. I feel really sorry for them.
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Its all personally opinion.
I LOVE Dale and Sophies house and really glad they have won some at the end of the competition. It shows they have grown as renovators/designers and have listened to the judges comments to create fantastic rooms.
Each to their own.
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anon, I’ve thought for the last couple of weeks that Shaynna has been favouring Dale and Sophie. With last week’s vote, even though she said she couldn’t fault Andrew and Mike, and even though she said some negative things about Sophie and Dale’s work, she gave Sophie and Dale a higher score.
Same thing happened the week previously.
Unfortunately it is all subjective. And it feels this time around like they are aiming to be more of a drama show than a renovation show.
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Worst of the week, hearing how Maria Sharapova and Serina Williams verbally attacked French tennis player Gilles Simon for daring to question why women now get equal prize money in the tennis despite only playing 3 sets vs the 5 men do.
Serina Williams said that Gilles is not as hot as Maria, so why would people want to watch him over her.
Epic fail on so many levels girls. Firstly, respect other opinions. Secondly, surely female tennis players (of all people) should not suggest that their saleability is all about their looks. Still shaking my head on this one.
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i dont believe gilles point was that they play longer (although i agree – they do) but rather that the men play a better quality of tennis then the women.
I can say though if someone was to question my pay I may also get my back up.
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Arent we as women supposed to support equal work for equal pay? In tennis it isnt a case of equal work. It is wrong. If someone was working half as much as me and earning the same amount I would question it too.
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Actually, Simon believed the men should be paid more because they are more entertaining, not because they play 5 sets vs 3.
ETA: Also, from everything I have read – I hardly think Sharapova and William’s replies were “verbal attacks.”
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well, I get more entertainment value from watching 5 sets vs 3, so I guess he is right.
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I actually took “more entertainment” to mean better quality tennis rather than the length of time of entertainment.
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it is pretty hard to argue that 3 sets of womens tennis equals 5 sets of men. I agree with him. If they were getting equal pay and each playing 5 sets, then I would take issue with his comments.
And anyhow, If women want total equality in this sport, then how about an open gender tournament. That would shut Serina up.
The most entertaining sport is the most elite, surely. And on top of that, men are playing 60% more tennis for the same pay cheque.
Welcome to PC madness
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I don’t disagree that men should be paid more because they play 5 sets.
I just find that “more entertaining” is rather subjective.
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Fair point. Some of the most entertaining matches I have seen have been womens. Lets just not fall into the trap of suggesting it is more entertaining because they look better. And anyway, on that point, doesnt it depend on who is doing the looking anyway.
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I think it depends how you measure “value” in this particular context.
So if you focus on length of match then men play more and should be paid more.
But if you focus on “entertainment value” or “quality of entertainment” – as Gilles suggested – then this is completely subjective.
The prizemoney on offer ultimately reflects (or should reflect) a share of the revenue generated by players through ticket sales, media rights, merchandising etc. So, pay perhaps should be reflective of contribution by these financial measures? Then you can say that it’s not about gender. However, the men may get a shock – perhaps by these measures the women contribute more! Who knows?!
Incidentally, I didn’t find Sharapova and Williams’ response offensive, but I have thought that the debate is a bit “he said”, “she said”. Surely we can do better than that!
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Thanks Bananna, you articulated what I have been trying to!
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The women should be paid less for the mere fact that they make too much noise!!! Why the need for excessive grunting!!! I will never watch women’s tennis again until that nonsense is stopped!!
Back to the subject at hand, whilst subjective, the prize money should correlate with audience numbers, home viewers, etc. And if this was the case (or even if the women and men’s tournaments were played seperately, then the women would certainly be paid less in prize money). The only way women athletes make comparable money to men is if they are hot, then the endorsements come rolling in. One only has to look at Anna Kournakova and see that it is true!!!
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Worst: I have been sick all week, revolting cold with a throat infection thrown in.
Best: I have paid sick leave and the ability to work from home so I can stay on top of important stuff without making everyone else sick. I know that not everyone is so lucky.
Happy weekend everyone and happy holidays to all the NSW teachers
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Hope you feel better soon!
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Thanks
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