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by JAMILA RIZVI
Ladies and (the occasional but much cherished) gentlemen, welcome to Friday.
Friday is the day of the week that got freaky. The day where some of us get to go casual. Once a year it’s officially Good and every now and then it turns 13 and goes all ‘black cats walking under ladders made of smashed mirrors’ on us.
It is also the one and only day of the week that has a style of cooked eggs in its name. And I’m sure that that is in some way, significant.
BUT most importantly, here at Mamamia, Friday is when we come together to celebrate each others’ triumphs and to seek comfort from our friends if we have suffered a loss. Here are my best and worst for the week.
Best: On Wednesday I flew back to my beautiful but freezing hometown of Canberra and stayed for all of about 12 hours. It was absolutely worth it. I rocked the ‘demented fairy biker chic’ look at the annual Press Gallery Ball – stay tuned for THAT on the runways of Paris and Milan in the coming months. And I got to catch up with some wonderful friends. You know those people who you don’t see very often but when you do, you just pick up where you left off and it’s as if you were never apart?
Worst: Boxes. It’s the ultimate first world problem to complain that you have too much stuff to unpack when you’ve just moved house, right? Well, I don’t care. I’m going to own it. I am so sick to death of boxes. In my life, boxes are everywhere. There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to how there can be THIS many boxes. Also, no remotely sensible method appears to have been employed (by me!) in the packing process.
Exhibit A: Last night I finally found my hairdryer. Where was it? In a crate filled with cereal bowls, old law textbooks, Christmas decorations and pillow cases. Logic is not my strong point. When a box arrives in the mail at the Mamamia offices these days, I can be found hiding in the corner, in fetal position, rocking back and forward. Please let this be over soon.
What were your best and worst bits of the week?
Comments
276 Comments so far
Hi everyone,
I am a 4th year Psychology student (and mature aged at 38!) at the Cairnmillar Institute in Camberwell, Australia. I am also a mum of two terrific kids aged 5 and 8.
For my 4th year thesis I am conducting an on-line research project titled ‘Parenting Daily Hassles and Well-being outcomes’. I am interested in the stress experienced by parents of children from birth to 12 years in their day to day interactions with their children, how this impacts on their stress levels and well-being, and what factors may have a buffering effect.
The questions take approximately 15 minutes to complete, all participants have the option of entering the draw to win a $100 (AUD) Coles-Myer gift voucher.
If you would like to participate, the link to my research is: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Parenting_daily_hassles_and_well-being
Any assistance that you could provide with my research will be greatly appreciated!
Thank you for your time.
Regards,
Tanya
PS: permission to post in this area has been given by mamamia admin!
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OMM: Really REALLY OMM this morning….! Riddle me this – why is it that under the new tax table (where apparently everyone will get a higher tax free threshold etc) I, under column three will now be paying more tax each week??
For my second job I don’t claim the tax free threshold. It is a small amount that I bring in with this job each week, and I know the overall amount will sort itself out when income is added together at the end of tax time, but I want to know why the government is putting its hand even deeper in my pocket week to week when it is supposed to be the opposite? To be honest I had been looking forward to paying a little bit less tax on this job each week, and I have just discovered it is the opposite. Please help me understand before my head implodes!
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Worst? Best?
I’ve succumbed to community pressure and started reading Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m only up to chapter 5 but at this point I think I would find individually cleaning the bristles on my hair brush less frustrating.
He is so so so good looking, ridiculously handsome, so appealing it is mentioned in every paragraph just how amazing he is to look at. She has no confidence, is ordinary, clumsy, has no past relationship experience. She thinks he is too good for her, he finds her intriguing and feels the need to protect her. He gives her cryptic and subtle warnings she is better off staying away from him. Have I read this before? Insert Bella and Edward here, here and here.
And then there is the BFF. She is beautiful, confident, determined, high achieving, yet she didn’t go to an interview that she spent 9 months organising because she had a cold. Huh?
Surely, everyone can’t be wrong. Persevere or quit while I’m ahead?
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Persevere if you want to read the hot stuff. Quit if you care about plot, pacing and sentence structure. I persevered. It was fun.
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Best: I’m on holidays overseas- too many to count.
Worst – Sitting in a cab on the way to the hotel from the moulin rouge sobbing because of tiredness and home sickness.
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Best – finally getting a child care spot for my 3 month old baby. I am so looking forward to going back into the office and having me time.
Worst – I will feel guilty dropping my baby off at childcare everyday from 7am through to 6.30pm but I need to be a happy mummy and a happy mummy for me is one that works full time.
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Hoping to get weekend daycare as well.
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Hello troll! How’s life under that bridge?
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I was asking a question , forgot the ?. At the end. So no I am not a troll.
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It was still really rude.
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I don’t get it, what was rude????
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Some people on this site LOVE using the word Troll… It gets misused if you disagree so often is has become amusing. Kathy M obviously is one of these that needs to understand the meaning, because it makes her look a little stupid using in the wrong context.
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Me too, my little one is 6 weeks , 2 weeks to go before she goes into care full time so I too can go back to work. I am sure she will be in good hands with the child care centre I have chosen. As they say a happy mum is a mum who works. Why should my husband be the only one working full time ? Plus I am thinking of all the extra money, so we can buy the BMW
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Best: my husband is back for a while from working overseas. I missed him so much, it is wonderful to have him home. It was also beautiful to see how happy our baby girl was to see him.
Another best: I’m off to the hairdresser for the first time in 6 months later today!
OMM: breastfeeding. Our daughter is almost one, and I would love to have another baby. Because we will need IVF again, it means we will have to stop BF. But she still feeds 4 times a day, and many times overnight (which is a problem in itself sleep wise…). And what if I stop feeding, and we can’t have another baby anyway?
She’s having a nice sleepy feed right now.
Also, ironically, the recent childcare post was so ridiculous it made me more confident that we have made the right decisions for our family, and not to worry about randoms on the Internet.
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Just my 2 cents worth. I had IVF and was breatfeeding my son when i wanted to try again around the 10 month mark. My doctor suggested I stop breastfeeding. I did but we didn’t manage to have another baby and it is something I feel sad about. I have come to terms with it but it makes me sad. I really enjoyed breastfeeding. Anyway, a little while after I had finished breastfeeding another IVF mum told me that she researched whether the drugs pass through into the breast milk and the ones she was on didn’t. I would ask your IVF specialist about it. I expect they ask us to stop in case it interferes with falling pregnant.
Cheers
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oh yay for husbands being home.
With the IVF and the breastfeeding, I totally understand where you are coming from. We made the decision to try again when Miss C was over 12 months. I started to wean her from then, and then stopped at 13 months, and the very next day started on the drugs for the cycle. (I was on heaps of different things which would have gone through the milk). I felt sad about that, but the desire for no. 2 was greater. Plus I was close to wanting to wean, but in hindsight….well hindsight is a wonderful thing. That cycle was a disaster and I don’t know whether it would have been better if we had given my body a bit more of break (hormonally??). Anyway, it isn’t an easy decision – you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. So go with your gut -if bfing is making you happy right now then keep it up, if you are getting ready to wean anyway then maybe look at that too. hugs.
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Will start with worst to get it out of the way.. Have had this yuck cold for a week now and can’t seem to shake it off, now the fever has triggered a ferocious migraine and I just feel miserable
BEST: these school holidays I was finally brave and outright asked my friend if they could mind my boys for a day to help me reduce vacation care costs and all of them offered to help! This is the first time EVER. I feel so blessed that I am finally surrounded by amazing people who give just as much as they get. So far, my boys told me they have had the best of time which makes me feel so much better inside.
OMM: ever since my son was sick and had to use all savings and credit card to cover continuing medical costs I am so broke that I find it hard to fall asleep. I am so angry at the boys dad for NEVER paying maintenance and I don’t want to be angry..
Have an awesome weekend <3
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It took me a long time to get over being angry at my ex for never paying maintenance, or seeing his kids. It helped that I met a lovely man who’s become the kids father over time, but I had started to realise that my ex was the one missing out anyway. I hope you get there eventually too.
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I thought I would turn my best and worst into feedback about the Mamamia site. I think that Mamamia is at a crossroads. Mamamia is probably receiving the largest amount of traffic in their history, yet the editorial staff are increasingly having to defend themselves.
So here’s my two cents.
Best: Zoe’s articles (that’s my bestest!) – gosh, I will follow Zoe’s writing wherever she goes, so hold on to her, Mamamia. Posts like this one and the Wednesday OMM post really bring out the best in Mamamia and the readers. I also LOVE that Mia is writing more again. Yay. And you’re on to a winner with Jamila. I love reading Jamila’s reasoned responses to people in the comments section – that girl could moonlight as a mediator. I also like the youthful energy of Lucy and Nat when they have time to write articles. Lucy and I are at a very similar stage in life, so I often enjoy the contribution that she makes. I think that overall Mamamia has so many strengths and people can lose/have lost sight of that with the influx of guest posts that don’t necessarily represent what Mamamia is about. So that brings me to my worsts.
My worsts: I have recently unliked Mamamia on facebook because of the double posting of articles and the shift in emphasis to mainly parenting (background info: I’m 25, single, no kids). Now I come to this website on Tuesdays and Fridays to get my Zoe fix and have a lil’ poke around.
I think that Mamamia could look back at how the site was running about a year ago (when Mamamia was at its best, in my opinion) and reflect on why the site is shifting in tone (in the articles, and particularly in the comments). I think that the strength of the site back then, was that not all of the articles were opinion pieces. Opinion pieces can be great, but I miss observational articles (other than Mia’s vaccination articles and birth plan type articles, Mia is the queen of the observational article – one of my favourite recent articles was about her imaginary economy). Another aspect of Mamamia that I loved back then was the current affairs focus. Since Rick’s departure (*sigh*), this part of Mamamia is lacking. I loved reading the daily news bites (fabulous idea!). I also liked being able to come to Mamamia knowing that there would be an overview and history of the big news topics. Another thing I miss is the cohesive voice of core Mamamia writers. In the past I was able to read an article and know who had written it without reading the byline – each writer was distinctive in their voice and content that they chose to write about). I think that there needs to be a balance of guest writers and posts from the core staff. A greater contribution of the core staff to writing articles would build a stronger relationship between the site and the readers, thus building site loyalty. You’ve had plenty of feedback about the tone of the guest posts, so I won’t delve into that too much except to say that Mamamia should try to avoid publishing posts that bring out the worst in people.
In summary, I would love to start reading some more light hearted observational pieces that can be thought provoking, but without being unnecessarily dividing. And more Zoe.
p.s. Have you thought about posting some articles on DIY pinterest-y sort of things? Like step by step instruction to build/create/paint things? I think that some of those type articles would provide some respite from the strong opinion pieces.
I hope you find this feedback helpful. All the best.
Shan.
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Shan not only do you have the same name as my (awesome) sister, but this is really awesome feedback, and reflects a lot of the things I have been thinking about this site lately! Thank you for posting it
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Hey Shan,
Aren’t you excellent for providing us with such detailed thoughtful and calm feedback!
Thank you for that.
We hear what you’re saying and yes, the site is evolving but not too much.
Stay tuned. xxx
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Dear Shan
Thank you for taking the time to write us such helpful and comprehensive feedback. We really do appreciate the thought you’ve put into this and what you’ve said really resonated with me.
We’ve definitely had some big changes on the site recently and I think that can always be rocky for people – change can be scary! But what will not change, is that we will continue to serve up great and varied content for you all to enjoy each day.
Two things. One – I get you on the ‘mummy content’. I’m not a parent and before I started working for MM, as a reader, I used to skim a lot of this stuff too. We know we have a lot of non-parent readers and we will never forget you, promise! But for the parent readers, it is a huge, huge part of their lives so it’s a topic that will always be up for discussion.
Two – please stay tuned for our ‘General Knowledge’ type posts!!! Mia wrote about this earlier in the week and I cannot WAIT to kick them off. They will be similar to our old 2 minute cheat sheets and together we’re all going to raise our collective knowledge. Hurrah!
All the very best and thanks again. We love thoughtful comments like this!
Jamila x
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you are becoming more hypocritical with every comment.
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No hypocrite here, I am just astounded at what you all declare to the “world” as interesting, at least I talk of a contencious topic… Rather than what blonde I shaded my locks.
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Best: Lara bungles tv show” worst: my other having chicken pox
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Best: omg got a haircut
Worst: I can’t wear a clip in it anymore
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I haven’t written a best and worst for yonks! This week has been a good one so I thought I’d start participating again!
Best: Paid house deposit and exchanged contracts and found out that we can move in on 23rd August, which is two weeks before my parents arrive for their first ever trip to the UK!
Worst: I am feeling underchallenged at work and as I’m relatively new to the company, I’m not sure how to approach management about it.
OMM: My husband and I are bickering about stupid crap all the time lately. I want to give up smoking and I’m finding it hard just to cut down, how the heck will I manage to go cold turkey? The though fills me with dread.
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Hey J, congrats on the new house. It’s incredibly stressful buying a home so that’s prob got a lot to do with you and your husband bickering, it will pass. Maybe wait until you’re settle until you try to give up smoking, it’s extremely hard, nicotine is one of the hardest things to give up. Good luck.
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Best: enrolling my lovely into kindy. Also had amazing sushi platter today.
Worst: white tip spider in the bed (luckily I wasn’t) and my general lack of patience.
Looking forward to a great weekend!!
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Best: had the old blonde half grown out foils coloured over. The hairdresser did a good job matching my natural colour and it looks heaps better. Also happy that my cold is finally almost gone and everyone loved the soup and fruit skewers I took in for my turn for morning tea.
Worst: it’s freezing in Canberra and it makes it harder to keep the kids entertained when it’s too cold to play outside. But hey, if that’s all I have to complain about I’m sitting pretty so I’m not complaining.
OMM: Not a lot really, which is quite pleasant.
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Best: Went back to boxercise for the first time in 3 weeks since my surgery. Also, my BF is on annual leave and each day this week he has dinner ready by the time I got home from work. Not to mention cleaned the entire house and bought us a new heater.
Worst: My bankcard was skimmed from an ATM somewhere – at least my bank was on it and informed me straight away.
OMM: Um, I have no idea what OMM stands for. Oh Mama Mia? Argh help. Clearly this is the first time I have done this.
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OMM = On My Mind. And welcome first-timer! Xx
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Ah doh! Of course it is
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On my mind??
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Oh my Mia (chomps)
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Best: I’m a runner! Who would’ve ever thought it, certainly not me. But slowly, slowly over the last 5 months I’ve worked my way up and can now comfortably run 10kms. And enjoy it. wow!
Worst: a colleague at work who is, quite frankly, just a bitch. She has a particular dislike for me and it is sucking all the joy out of my days. It makes me feel disconnected and on the outer at work … I work part time so this probably contributes to that as well. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a horrible colleague? I don’t think she’ll change, it’s more about how I can approach it.
OMM: what to do career wise. I think I might need a change. But I have a good boss and a fairly flexible workplace, I just don’t love my work. I’m considering studying … But I’m 41 … And need to work so any study would be part time. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. Is it too late? More advice needed PLEASE!
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Do it. Just do it. I became a teacher after children and I love it. I too needed a change and it works out perfectly with having children….you get to spend all the school holidays together!
I did, however, have a degree before so it was only one year of full-time uni post-grad. If you’re starting from scratch an Education degree is fours years.
Just be wary of the high dropout rate in the industry. The long-term rate of new teachers remaining teachers after 10 years is roughly only 5%. It’s not for everyone and can be a tough slog, especially in the early years when you are gathering resources and planning lessons amongst the other gazillion things teachers do.
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Best: planning a much needed holiday. Enjoying my friends updates on her newborn an hearing another is due also!!
Worst: said holiday isn’t mail November…. Oh and the mental blank my brain pulled on me today when it decided to shutdown at work for an hour. Working on a Saturday too
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Best…. turned another number this week – hope I don’t feel this blergh about my birthday when I get to 30.
Best – Booking a holiday! Short on cash at the moment but have managed to sort out enough dough to go and visit some daily who haven’t’ met my daughter yet. Yay! soo looking forward to that.
Worst – Daughter has been sick and teething and in crap-as sleep routines for the last week and a bit. I’m so tired. Worried about what will happen when she’s like this when I go back to work… but that’s not really a problem because I can’t get an interview for any jobs.
Also, my SIL is p!$$ing me off atm. Stupid, perky, optimistic graduate. SHE is confident enough that she only needs to apply for jobs that she want’s to do… I’ve not yet done a job that I ‘want’ to do… I guess this is payback for me being young once too. But seriously! Plus, how hard is it to follow a simple set of instructions for babysitting – “all that food on that shelf, DD will eat it all” return home 5 hours later, all the food is still there, DD won’t sleep because she’s starving!
To summarise, I’m tired but excited, unemployment and financial worries are causing me to feel extra sensitive about silly things and I feel like it’s all never going to end. Also, I can’t write a cohesive sentence today, despite actually reading a bit of ‘intellectual’ stuff this week.
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Worstest; picked up my kids from school today & came home to discover that not only has our house been burgled but they have absolutely trashed the place. Worst of all they stole 2 laptops which had all our photos on them. Seriously keep the laptop I want my baby photos back!! What pricks.
Best; they left my iPad – suckers!!!
OMM: Have decided to stop eating red meat. I did this for years when I was in my early 20′s but started to eat red meat again when I was pregnant. As an animal lover I just can’t reconcile the two.
Have a great weekend everyone. Xx
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Sorry to hear you were burgled – hope you are ok
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Sorry your place was robbed.. it’s awful!
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Best: My daughter is back in her normal sleep routine! For about 2 weeks she had been waking up, crying and wanting to come into bed with us. We let her sleep with us as these things usually pass and it did. She’s back in her own bed sleeping through the night.
Worst: It’s not that bad but it is annoying. There is a construction site across the road from us that has been starting work earlier and finishing later than the council allows. I know they want to get stuff done but I’m tired of being woken by the sound of jackhammers at 5.30am.
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Worst: Anxiety coming out of nowhere and paralysing me this week. Have never been so terrified in all my life.
Best: Having my first psychologist appt this afternoon. It was truly the most useful hour – I learnt a lot and had a lot of things cemented. I think my anti anxiety meds have started to kick in too, so I’m feeling the best I have in weeks. My poor husband has really suffered alongside me with this and it was our ten year anniversary this week from when we met (when I was 15, crazy!), so I’m going to do something spesh for him tomorrow
thank you to everyone who shared their experiences and wisdom about anxiety with me on the Wednesday post xx
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Massive hugs to you, Young Vintage xx
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Worst: End of one job – lamented.
Best: Interview for another. Next week.
OMM : Lack of confidence due to an interview that didn’t go amywhere last week. Fingers crossed … toes, too.
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I’ve so been there Lizi – but don’t put too much pressure on yourself – the interview that didn’t go anywhere just wasn’t meant to be, for whatever reason. But you’ll get work soon and it’ll be the right job for you
good luck for next week!
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You don’t know how much that means, YV – all the best for whatever’s big in your life, too.
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Good luck for your interview next week
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Best: I’m an auntie again! My SIL had her second baby this morning (on her bathroom floor!) and she is a delightful little munchkin, completely in love!
Worst: received a $765 mobile bill this week which i accrued during our recent trip to the USA (which was only for 1 week!!!!!). $560 was from Internet usage which pisses me off as I was using wi-fi at our hotels. I called a certain telco (which rhymes with Shmelstra) to enquire and was informed that if the wi-fi signal is low it reverts to normal download. I didn’t know this and am shattered as we really can’t afford it, have now been waiting 3 days for a supervisor to call me back to discuss further. I knew the calls would be pricey and because we have 2 young kids we were happy to pay it so we could speak to them regularly but the rest is a killer! I wouldnt have even used my phone if I had known it would do that. I’m so upset.
OMM: in 1 week am turning 30. Thinking a lot about what the next decade will hold for me. My 20′s have been super eventful, met my man, married him, had 2 kids, bought and sold a house and built a house. We have decided not to have any more kids and I have just gone back to being a SAHM after 1 year back at work. I feel a bit lost, everything I do is for my family and I sometimes feel like I dont know who I am. I’m happy being at home for now but need to get some interests. Also need to get fit, can’t use the excuse of baby weight anymore but I’m struggling to find time to exercise.. My youngest is 2.5 yrs old now, lol. Just feeling very unmotivated and contemplative.
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Hi Lealea,
I know it doesn’t help for now, but for next time, you can call your phone provider and have the data roaming turned off by them for the time you are overseas.
I have done this a few times when my kids have travelled overseas. Then they can only use the local wi-fi.
You can also disable data etc on your phone but I prefer to get the provider to turn it off just to make sure.
Hope you get a positive outcome from the supervisor.
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Thanks Jackson, I wish I had known this earlier! I hope to get a positive outcome too, if only they would call me back! Been waiting 3 days and was told 24-48 hours.
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Try calling your local Federal MP… They have direct contacts at Telstra and can sometimes help. Good luck xxx
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Best: 2 year long distance relationship ends on Sunday! The boy is back in the country for good! (fingers crossed!!) So excited and nervous!
Worst: Nervous, working out how to have a “normal” relationship that doesn’t involve skype, 20hr + travel time and days without contact! Not really a worst because I’m super excited!!!
Great friend is moving to the NT for a fabulous job and I’m so happy for her but sad for me that she’s leaving!!! (In a slightly selfish way!) Soooo happy for her!!!
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Aww, I’m excited for you. My last two relationships have been long distance – so I know how much they suck!! Hope it all goes well
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Thanks! Fingers crossed!
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What is wrong with me??? We go thru various stages, as I well have, but…. There’s this younger guy who’s gorgeous, I’ve known him for about six years… and just thought of him as this nice young bloke. then a few weeks ago he told me he’s always had a crush on me!!! Now he wants to meet up!!!!
I just don’t feel anything (not him but anyone). I’ve been single now two years, not been with anyone. My body confidence is low as i’ve stacked on weight. And I’ve been thru a lot.
But I feel like I should snap out of it!!! He’s a lovely guy and so cute. He wants me. And it’s time for me to get back in the game surely…..
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Just enjoy the time, meet up and if nothing happens at least you gave it a crack, might give you the confidence to get back on the dating horse again if you so desire?
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GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!
You said it yourself, he’s gorgeous, a nice young bloke, you have known him for years and he likes you!
Maybe your confidence would improve if you dated a nice young man who clearly is attracted to you.
At least go on a date with him, if you don’t feel anything, at least you will have had a nice night out with a great guy.
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Ditto!
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Best: a good old fashioned stoush in the dumping your kids in child care post. I argue for a living, am on maternity leave and Little Lad had two three hour sleeps. Plenty of time for me to get right into it. I thought it was reasonably respectful and I miss a good heated argument.
I know that makes me a freak. But its what is making me look forward to going back to work!
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Sooo disappointed that I didn’t see that one until after commenting had been closed. I was laid off while on maternity leave so I have had more time at home than anticipated. I love being a SAHP and DH and I would happily ‘share’ that side of household responsibilities if we could, but his work doesn’t really lend itself toward it and I can’t get work atm. However, when you start to consider things like … eating… a luxury, work and using daycare suddenly seem quite reasonable.
Anyway, just sad I missed out on joining in the bunfight
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Oh Dee… Love ya.
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Mia that was awesomely cool to close comments on the post that went ferral. How you manage to steer this crazy ship boggles my mind. Surely you when you log on and see the snark factor going off the rictor you must swear very loudly- I know i would!!
have a lovely weekend x
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What post went feral????
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Just found it, thought James article was fine. Guess I missed the fuss.
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BEST: School holidays!
WORST: See above. My sons are going to Singapore and Bali with their dad & his partner and I get to stay home and mind their dog. I’ll miss them SO much I can barely stand to think about it.
OMM: Dating at my age (50) what’s the go, girls (and boys)? What site is good, any success stories from anyone over 45? I live in a small coastal town so it’s slim pickings here and even Wollongong is too far for a date. Any suggestions? Or should I just accept my single status and turn into a crazy cat lady once the boys leave home?
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Go on RSVP -worked for me.
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Best: ‘Graduated’ from counselling today. Know that if i ever need i can go back but feels so good to be on track and yes happy
OMM: plug for http://www.rednoseme.com/ all you need to do is upload a fun photo to help raise money for the wonderful cause that is SIDS and Kids
Worst – waiting for DH to come home, he was such a grump when he left this morning and we’re meant to be going out to tea
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thanks for reminding me to upload my photo and post on facebook the link for everyone on my friends list to do too, hopefully more people do it for this worthy cause!
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I need to ask a question for all the men who read this. I want to buy my boyfriend a promise ring for our 1 year anniversary. It will be a year on the 4th of September. I know that is a long way off yet but I want to know if it will be a good idea before I think about purchasing one.
My partner and I are very close and happy together.
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Girly, I’m not a guy, but can I offer a little advice.
If you give him a ring after a year – then you are cutting into his hunter gatherer territory… It’s only been a year, even warm & fuzzy fantastic year – but giving a ring should be on his timeframe – don’t you do it.
You should be getting the ring not giving it. Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it.
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Thanks, Deb. I don’t mind that you’re not a guy, just thought they’d be able to tell me how they’d feel getting one! But I understand what you’re saying.
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Aaah point taken.
Just promise that if you do go ahead with it – you have first asked yourself what you hope to achieve by doing it. Be clear in your mind what you giving him the ring would be about, because if you give it with the hope that you’ll get something back – then it’s a trade – not a gift…. d
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Can I suggest a maybe a watch? He can wear it every day and think of you, but lots of guys don’t wear rings.
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That’s a good suggestion, only thing is he received an expensive watch for Christmas he doesn’t wear
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Best: we had lipsynching at school today. For those uninitiated to this great dance-festy-type thing, we lipsynch to music while dancing. Yay! Was so much fun.. had a blast. I’m a dancer and have taken a break to focus on yr 12, so getting back into it for the last two weeks with intense and rewarding practises have made my week!
Also, as holidays have approached (another best!) have been getting more sleep!
Got two new boots and a pair of maroon jeans!:)
Yay Nat! I used to be an early sleeper and early riser, 5:00am was normal so I could study! Now I sleep later as I cant get up in the morning, so this catch up has been well received! THANK YOU God!
Got my report back today! Yay! Passed all subjects and got some great feedback on Psychology! I love this week!
Having a sleepover with my cousin and her son, shall be a blast!
Worst: Warning for First World Problems!!
)
Feeling a tad guilty for getting into holiday mode before school has finnished, but will work on holidays.. So All is Well! (for those that have watched 3 Idiots
Specialist Maths School Asessed Coursework was a tad on the hard side… Feeling that effort I put in isn’t giving me results, I got a 62% so I shouldn’t be complaining, but still…
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Worst: I have a serious abnormal pap smear and need minor surgery. I know I caught it early and is treatable but I am still upset and a little afraid.
Best: New semester starting soon, a fresh chance to attack the study and do well.
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Hey Guest
I had the same thing happen a few years ago and was absolutely terrified. But I was totally, totally fine and you will be too. I’m not going to say don’t worry because that never helps at all hey? How can you not worry!
What I will say, is take good care of yourself and make sure you don’t keep the fear bottled up – talk to the lovely people who care about you. Very best of luck and I’m sending hugs your way.
Xxx
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Thanks Jamila,
It seems like all sorts of women are coming out of the woodwork – friends, family, saying it happened to them too, which is reassuring.
I find it unfair that these things tend to do damage to women whereas men are usually just fine. Blegh.
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I used to look after men that had prostatectomies (either endoscopic or open) and trust me, they’re not much fun for them either. Some of the long term problems associated with them: incontinence and erectile dysfunction. Not often, but still not nice to have to risk.
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I had the same thing in February, but it was all good. You get prepped as you go into theatre, and before you know it, you’re waking up in recovery! You’ll be very docile for the rest of the day after sedation, so just make sure you have someone to look after you.
Having it done is much less scary than not; as anything pre-cancerous has the chance of turning into cancer.
Good luck.
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Thanks girly!
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Hey Guest,
I’m going through this right now. I had CIN-3 cells and had a Lletz procedure. Then they told me I actually had the CIN-4 cells when I went back for a checkup.
I had the Lletz procedure 3 weeks ago and I feel fine – I went under a general anaesthetic as I didnt fancy being awake for 40mins while someone burned layers off my cervix (sorry for the graphic description)
The follow up is colposcpy’s every 3 months for 2 years – not ideal, but I can handle it. I’m just lucky they caught it early as I’m sure they have for you
You’ll be fine
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I have been thinking this past week about how fragile life really is.
The guy who was killed when his forklift tipped on top of him at work.
6 kids aged 10 years old down to only a few months old.
Just a regular person like you and I at work, doing his job and then-dead.
then the guy who was killed yesterday just sitting in his car at the traffic lights and a container from struck falling on him.
Left behind a wife and young child.- that could have been any of us just going about our day doing such a mundane thing.
life is so precious don’t get caught up in who is a better parent because someone stays at home or goes to work or who had a better birth or who is more annoying on face book etc etc.
Hug your loved ones, appreciate everyday and don’t get hung up on the small stuff.
I hope everyone has a great weekend and you all realise you are doing a great job of living your best life, and you have the power to be even better.
Take care everyone
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I’ve never heard of you on MM before – but PLEASE post again.
This is just wonderful advice and certainly made me stop, think and be grateful.
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Aww thanks Kathy, you have made my day.
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It’s funny, I was just reading about these freak accidents and it made me feel so grateful for what I have in my life, but also made me feel that life was sometimes very unfair for things like that to happen! I liked your post. It is true, it is easy to dwell on little details, but it doesn’t matter in the end. It’s how you live your life that matters..
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Best: My boy has been working afternoon shifts so i haven’t seen him since sunday morning but he sends me a text when he gets home at 2am to say that he hopes that i’m sleeping well and that he loves me.
worst: I’m sick again. so sick that i may in fact not be showing up at my own birthday tomorrow.
not only that, but i’m actually more upset that i’m so sick that i can’t show up to comic con tomorrow at 9am to get exclusive tickets to cabin in the woods (which i’ve already seen) screening hosted by Fran Kranz for sunday night. Yes, i’m a bit of a nerd
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Best: finding amazing candles handmade by a really lovely chick named Evie, the Coconut Lime scented one made me crave a beachside mojito (considering the weather atm it’s not surprising) and the Sensual Amber that is currently lit is tempting me to open the wine before my dinner guests arrive and curl up beside the fire, yum! (if anyone wants to buy one http://www.jardinpath.com) My sister said that she recently bought one that smelt like a french sweet shop….drool.
Worst: doing the million dishes that have accumulated during exam block (frantically before the others get here)
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They sell them at Organicus Cafe in Manly, I’m picking up a Peony Rose one this tuesday, my last one ran out after i fell asleep in the bath after relaxing from a hectic Super Mum week… it’s getting to be quite a routine.
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Best: I really appreciated my best friends this week. Spoken to each of them several times throughout the week, and just love knowing they are there for me when I need them. One has a new baby and love that she trusts me and asks me my opinion as he is her first. Another is enjoying the company of a new man and is always, always my biggest cheerleader and keeps me in check. The other one is just my soft place to land. I’m pretty damn fortunate.
Worst: Well I had to tell Insanely Tall Man that I didn’t feel there was enough chemistry to pursue it further. Thats always pretty shitty. And Tiny Tim makes me question myself – which I shouldn’t this early. We both have ridiculous physical chemistry but maybe that’s it? I shouldn’t be doubting this early, I know that much.
I know, right. So FWP. And James’ post just shit me today too. Bugger it – looking forward to date night now with my gf and the delicious new bubba.
Kid free for the next week. I’m also looking forward to some ‘me’ time.
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HavenMaven, I forgot which post I asked you think under so I’ll ask it again – which state is Tim in? I think I know him from your descriptions!
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Sounds great. Who’s James what post?
Is tim really tiny?
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Best: Seeing how beautiful my little sister looks in her wedding dress at the first fitting last night. And then following that up with (an admittedly bruising) victory at state league netty.
Worst: Chronic sinusitis wearing me down and my depression getting the better of me. But the light is coming back.
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Wedding of your sister! Yay! She must look amazing! Also, congradulations on your win!
Hope your sinusitis gets better soon, try some lemon tea with honey… It tastes great and is therapeutic to boot. Also, hoorah for the light!
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How awful is sinusitis!
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Best – Have settled well into our new place, still a few bits and pieces to sort out but overall I think we did pretty well with the move. By the way Jamila I hear you on those boxes! As I was packing & unpacking I wondered how we had come to collect so much stuff over the course of a year! Makes me wonder what we will do with our stuff when we move!
Worst – The place we are living in now has an association that takes care of the buildings etc and they seem to be very strict! We had stored our washer & dryer behind husband’s car in the car port as we were waiting to move the washer & dryer in the apartment out and put ours in. Anyway within 2 days of moving in we got a letter of complaint to move our stuff out of the car port! Uhhh so now we have a washing machine and dryer sitting in our place just taking up space! and even more annoying, the owner of the apartment wants us to move his washing machine and dryer out for him AND take it to his house! Seriously…. who does that!
Also today it was bloody HOT here, Rach will know what I’m talking about! It reached over 40 today, I think that’s a worst….
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I would move the owners stuff out and leave that in the car port and if you get a complaint letter you can say that they are the owners property.
Bastards.
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Hey thanks for replying
ha if only! Husband & his friends had tried to get the owner’s washer & dryer out when they brought the rest of our furniture over. Except that for some reason owner’s w&d are some how stuck together (they are stacked) so it was hard for them to move! That’s why we left ours in car port temporarily until owner comes back (he is away currently) but got this stupid letter and now stuck with a washing machine in the entrance of our apartment and dryer in the other room!
So annoying! Bastards for sure!
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Yep, at 8:30am it is already 33, it’s only going to get to 37 today, but coupled with the humidity the ‘feels like’ temp is already 45. Wahhh!
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This is not a best/worst but an observation.
In the past week alone MM has had three different parenting articles of three different subjects, but each with their own controversy.
It has pitted mothers against mothers and some responses to particular posters were really awful. I kind of feel that although these topics are interesting to discuss that surely MM would know that things would get heated.
I feel for the posters who bravely made comments on their lifestyles but yet got blasted on here by others and ridiculed for their choice in lifestyle.
I thought that as parents we were supposed to support each other? But yet this week it doesn’t feel that way.
I wonder whether people are becoming more brave and ready to share their judgement or whether we as readers are being coaxed into the drama more and more. I just find it sad.
As I said, just an observation.
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Unfortunately, it’s up to each individual how they interpret each article on this website. The problem is that some people can’t see past their own opinion to even consider other people’s opinion, which is why there are so many issues.
Sure, disagree, have lively discussions, but there is no need for the juvenile behaviour that we sometimes see on here, all because someone dares to have a differing opinion or lifestyle.
It’s sad really.
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It has a been a dissappointing week on very interesting topics. I usually love the discussions but most of the comments have been just mean. Your right it is just sad.
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Agreed! I no longer post about my views/parenting choices as I can’t be bothered to be slammed or told what a horrible mummy i must be. This is a shame as this used to be something that I felt very comfortable doing..
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Best – so many things going right in my life at the moment. Feel extremely lucky and grateful for all that I have.
Small stuff but I was also really pleased to get fantastic customer service at both the Benefit counter in Myer Bourke St today and from a call centre operator during the week. Icing on the cake!
No worst.
If you are having a tough time I hope things improve for you soon xx
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Worst: slept on my shoulder wrong, and it has been aching all day.
Best: free sausage roll and hot chocolate from work
OMM: Organising and shopping for my house warming this weekend for the 7th. Christmas in July themed.
It’s my first big hosting party in my new house. Already going to make some food the night before.
Any suggestions about how to make things nice and breezy on the day?
So nervous! About 40 people coming. *really silly though*
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Hey Maggie!
Your guests are coming to see you and your new home – so food is just a bonus. Christmas in July? hmmm…I’m thinking roast a turkey, slice it up and serve it on warm crusty rolls with cranberry sauce or gravy and guests can help themselves.
Light some candles, chill your wine and have a wonderful night! x
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Thanks! didn’t think about the candles, will give off a great mood
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Worst: I’m getting back with my ex and had to tell him I slept with my old housemate during our break. I didn’t think we’d be getting back together or that he’d ever know – and he’s only met my old housemate once or twice. He’s now feeling extremely hurt and betrayed, and hasn’t contacted me all day.
I had to tell him because I didn’t want any secrets between us – and we were broken up so I don’t think it was morally the wrong thing to do. But I feel awful I’ve hurt him – and I’m also scared this might change his mind about us getting back together. Boo
Thoughts? Advice?
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Hmmm, in my own opinion, I don’t think he has any right to be angry at you. Sure, he might be a bit upset and he probably can’t help the way he feels but you didn’t do anything wrong, you were broken up at the time.
I would hope that he’s not playing games with you and trying to make you feel bad for something when you shouldn’t. Maybe give him a call tonight and have a chat, find out exactly how he’s feeling and give him an opportunity to tell you why. I don’t think that this is something that’s worthy of stopping you two getting back together if you really want to be together.
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Thanks jojo, I really appreciate the reply and advice.
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I do feel for you Sad Face, but – oh, come ON! Everyone’s got secrets. I’m pretty sure NOBODY tells their nearest-and-dearest every little thing, or even their besties.
Imagine if we could all read each others’ minds? What a LOT of hurt feelings there’d be. A lot of Sad Faces around the place.
Anyway, IMHO, you were up-front about what you did in your relationship hiatus. He is the one who has the problem with hearing it. BTW, did he ask, or did you vouschafe the info?
I wish all best things for you and that it all works out OK.
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Thanks Xanthe. It was during one of those convos where if I didn’t tell him I would have had to actively lie about it.
He was rooting all over town in our break, so there’s a big part of me that is just wanting him to get over it. On the other hand I can see why he’s hurt. Unfortunately it was me who broke up with him, and I really broke his heart, so I have to be extra sensitive about hurting him more. Otherwise I think by this time in the day I’d be rolling my eyes and telling him to get over it.
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Funny – not funny ha-ha – a friend and I were talking today about the fools we used to be over men, letting them get away with all sorts of crap because if we pulled them up on it, they’d leave and then we’d be – drum roll! – alone!
We were so naive, pussyfooting around them so as not to hurt their poor little feelings or bruise their tender little egos, and did they do they same for us? Huh.
So, today’s lesson is: be yourself, don’t compromise, and if he can’t accept you for you, then he just lucks out. Not you.
Be strong, sista – saves a lot of heartache.
I’m thinking of you.
xxx
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Honey if you slept with one person & he is making you feel this bad, whilst he took the break as an invitaton to a smorsegesboard of sex all over town, can I ask you to think REALLY hard as to whether you want to walk back into a relationship with him, regardless of who broke up with whom. There seems to be a huge power imbalance here.
& finaly like Ross to Rachel – … “but we were on a break”
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Haha Deb! Thanks to both of you for the advice and replies.
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Just promise me that in your head you will put a time limit for him to ‘get over’ his issue. & if he ever brings it up in a fight, think about it all over again. Relationships are hard enough, but they shouldn’t be hardest at the start. d
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Sorry but it sounds like it’s his ego which is bruised.
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If it makes you feel any better sad face, this exact thing happened to my boyfriend and I. We were able to work through it and got back together. That was six years ago and we are now married with a gorgeous baby girl! So it can work out, if you both want it enough and are willing to work on it together and talk it out – that’s the key
good luck!
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How long were you split up? Has anyone on here had experience with getting back with someone after years apart???
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More appropriate for Open Post but alas, here goes: my boss has asked me to buy a present for a colleague’s wife and their new baby. Anyone have any nice ideas? I don’t know them at all and haven’t been given any guidance. FYI, the baby’s a girl and she has a four-year-old sister (do I get her something as well?) Thank you!
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hey Maybedaisy – i think a nice pamper pack for the mum would be a good idea include some nice lotions/oils etc….as im sure the baby will be getting lots of presents from the family
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I would throw in a Barbie for the four year old they are super cheap and if she is anything like my 4 & 6 yr olds, it would make her day!
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I use this place for work gifts. The bouquets still look like flowers but they can keep them for a long time and you can add a sibling gift. If you enter ‘bouquet’ at the special code area you get a 10% discount.
http://www.babybuds.com.au/
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Things like baby blankets and baby towels always come in handy, you can never have too many. One of the best presents we got were some really nice bamboo cloth baby wraps. I think they were from DJs, but you can get all sorts of nice ones for different climates from Pumpkin Patch/Mothercraft. We were also given lots of baby clothes, and loved all of them. I don’t think you really need to get something for the 4yr old as well, the parents are probably on top of that.
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My best and worst are the same thing this week and they relate to Jamila’s worst…
I moved into my house that my boyfriend and I have had built. We’re first homeowners. It’s our house and it’s amazing.
Moving house is the pits and I’m so tired/can’t find anything/ready to nap instead of unpacking. Finding things has gotten that exciting that when I found the dish drainer for the sink I had a fist pump moment. Seriously, I don’t even like doing the dishes!
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Dish drainer!!! Hurrah!
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But the best thing is it’s YOUR house and so you can take all the time in the world ’cause it’s probably going to be YOUR house for a long time to come. Unpack for a bit, do a happy dance for a bit, take a nap for a bit and repeat all that for a bit and it will get done. I moved 10 times in 10 years (but not once in the last 12 – yayyy) and the contents of boxes I unpacked in a hurry and shoved in cupboards just to be ‘done’ were far more likely to be poorly placed yadda yadda. Take your time, take your naps – because it’s YOUR place. Congrats and enjoy!
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Best: Fantastic customer service at a time where I was beating myself up. (See worst). It’s amazing what a helpful, good customer service experience can do for your mood.
Also my first PRIMPED posse blog went up this week, so exciting!
Worst: massive stuff up last night when booking flights with Jetstar. Paid by direct debit to avoid the annoying credit card fees (first mistake) from my bank only to read the fine print afterwards (second mistake) and discover that they won’t accept payment from my bank. What they will do however is hold onto that money and make me go through the refund process instead…so angry at myself for being so silly! Thankfully my bank is going to do a trace/payment reversal if the money hasn’t ‘bounced back’ by Wednesday…fingers crossed!
OMM: Needing to pay for that airfare tonight by credit….but need to call Jetstar first to ensure that I will 100% get my money back and they 100% can’t accept my payment from last night…would hate to pay for something twice!
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A lot of my friends have booked and paid for Jetstar flights only to have them rescheduled. When the new time didn’t suit my friends, they had to book themselves on another flight and wait 12 weeks for Jetstar to refund the cost of the rescheduled flight. Outrageous! I NEVER fly with Jetstar or Qantas anymore, regardless of fare.
Good luck! You will get a refund, it just may take awhile
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Emma, it might be ok – check with your bank, my bank wasn’t on the list of banks they accept payments from, but it did work. When I called jetstar to check they had no idea – not helpful! And it was over a weekend too, so agonisingly long wait to see too…. Their credit card fees are so much more of a rip-off than I’ve ever seen!
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Thanks for your comments
Sarah, they were so adamant with me that it wouldn’t work (I’m with a Credit Union apparently this makes a difference) so I paid by credit and am having my bank reverse it for me. Will take a few weeks but feel so much better knowing my bank will be in control rather than Jetstar.
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Best: My MIL has her financial separation/divorce trial today. Its been over 2 years since she finally walked out on a horrid marriage, and has spent the time since then dealing with ever-growing bad behaviour from her ex. Looking forward to hopefully having orders set down today!
Worst: Not being there at court. I am designated babysitter for my kids and my nephew so hubby and SIL can go to court. Its so hard hearing what happens second hand!
Best #2: Nephew slept in his cot for me for 2.5 hours!!!!! He is NOT a good sleeper, and am rather chuffed at myself and him for doing a good job
Worst#2: My two are not well. Snotty, mouth ulcers, headaches.
OMM: hoping for a fair and just outcome today at court.
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So today I’ll put my hand up at the start and say mine are totally child related!
Best: School holidays start today – woo hoooo!! Its my first year as a school parent and we have 4 kids under 6 (the last of which was born the week before school started this year) so I am still getting used to the constant bus runs morning and night. I am in love with the idea of the next two weeks of getting up whenever, not packing lunch boxes and having to wake kids up from afternoon sleeps to get to the bus! Total unadalterated pyjama-wearing-until-after-play-school-if-we-want-to bliss.
Best #2: Our eldest got a school award this week for being a good citizen and honest, reliably, hardworking, helpful, caring … all that stuff … out of the whole school!! She is in kinder and was thrilled, as were we. And it was awarded the same day we got our first school report – proud as punch!
Worsts – none to report.
OMM: The job seeking bandwagon. My husband is on it at the minute becuase we’re just thinking we need something more reliable than his contracting work but agriculture is a tricky beast to find something you can do in the place that you live sometimes.
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Ahhh I have 4 under 6 too (youngest is 5 weeks old) and am beyond excited about the holidays as well! Every other mum I speak to is dreading them! Enjoy not having to rush.
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Worst: Feeling very second rate lately, as my partner (we don’t live together) always seems to be too busy to have more than a ten minute phone call at night, and even then he is about to fall asleep and is distracted by the tv etc. And I am usually not in the best mood after spending the day feeling ignored and a last resort to talk to… I don’t think I am asking too much for a teeny bit more attention?
Best: opening up yesterday on the pot-smoking mother issue on mamamia and being overwhelmed with the positive responses, it is somethingI never talk about but online feels a bit safer, and has given me a huge dose of much needed confidence in my lonely week.
Best2:I am having a small get together/ party at my house this weekend for my best friends birthday, only five of us in my little unit, and we are going very child-party oriented, ie balloons, games, party pies/saus rolls, fairy bread, cupcakes…. Never too old to celebrate like kids
I cannot wait, I miss my friends.
Thanks to Mamamia for giving me so many different perspectives and providing both sides for different stories, most issues discussed on here are complex ones and it is refreshing to hear from so many people about, well, everything! It is a daily joy to read!!
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just for the record, I need to add that I am definitely anti-smoking marijuana, I don’t want anyone to associate my screen name with supporting something which I am very against. My original post on the story was under an anonymous screen name and I was overcome with alot of emotion in regards to this story, due to my past.
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Thank you for your lovely feedback and for sharing Stacey87. I wish I was going to your party, it sounds yummy!
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OMG Fairy bread!!!!
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I have to make fairy bread every time my teenage boys have parties. At my oldest’s 18th, they were eating it as fast as I could make it! Who knew it was going to be such a hit?
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Decided to change my screen name…too many Rachs around with opinions I don’t necessarily agree with…I’m even getting myself confused!
Best: Love my job (performance library staff, as detailed on open post). And I got promoted to principal flute again for the second season of the pops orchestra. And have made friends with a girl through both of these things – I invited her to fill in the spot I vacated when I was promoted, plus she works with me in the library, and she’s an international student (Japanese, but been in the US half her life).
Worst: The usual. Feeling a little stuck in the progress of life ain’t going to change for awhile, so I am trying to live with it.
OMM: I am tired of people who are good at what they do but are absolute arseholes (i.e. treat those below them badly). We have a couple of them lurking around our departments. My husband tends to forgive if they are absolute geniuses in their field, but I personally think that is what makes them think they have a right to be that way. It is no excuse, and I think it devalues what they do, and I feel much less respect towards them.
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Rach I figured this was you…. like the change in screen name
Congrats on the promotion! I watched this flash mob vid on youtube yesterday (someone I follow on twitter had put it up), it was an orchestra flash mob and I thought of you when I watched hehe.
I hear you on the worst, I feel like I just have to go with the flow of things, I would have never thought my life would take the path it has, but it is what it is and just need to make the most of it
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Worst – gastro followed up with conjunctavitis and nasty flu’s, for all of us, hubby, myself and 2 munchkins.
Best – school holidays and sick leave. So nice to have my 3 boys at home with me, all together. Nice family bonding time, even if we were all sick!
OMM – pulling out of a holiday with good friends and now having them not speak to us… at all.
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I am guessing you had to pull out because your poor family are all sick?
Seems a bit immature just to stop speaking to you.
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Hi Maggie,
We pulled out for few reasons, trying to cram 6 adults and 7 kids into a 3 bedroom house that we had no say in, for a week was the start, and the final straw was when we went to their house for his birthday drinks, just the 2 couples, his fiancee went to bed really early, without saying anything to anyone.
And the final reason is that we also have a family wedding to go to in another state 2 weeks after we were supposed to get back from that holiday.
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