On behalf of women, I’d just like to apologise for the amount of time it takes us to get ready. Apparently, we average one hour and 12 minutes prep time for a big night, meaning every time we go somewhere together, you’re left idle for an agonising average of 17 minutes. I can’t imagine how you could fill those long moments. It must be so frustrating.
But frankly? It’s no picnic on our side of the bathroom door. As you drum your fingers impatiently and resolutely ignore the unstacked dishwasher, remember this: we are not whooping it up in our wardrobe with gay abandon.
For us, getting ready for a big night is an endurance event filled with punishing mental and physical hurdles. That hour and 12 minutes is the tip of the getting ready iceberg. Gentlemen, you don’t know the half of it.
You see, our work starts hours, days and often weeks in advance. Almost immediately after we commit to going somewhere in the future, whether
it’s the office Christmas party, drinks with the girls or out to dinner with you, we imagine ourselves there. In this mental picture, we invariably look hot. Appropriate, comfortable, stylish and hot. Somewhere on the style spectrum between Cate and Kate (Blanchet and
Moss).
As the event draws closer, we drill down into this seductive image to work out what we’re actually going to wear. We picture ourselves in different outfits, mentally changing our clothes, like paper dolls, until we’re totally satisfied we’ve maxed our potential and our wardrobe. All too often, this wardrobe will be found wanting and we will be forced (forced I tell you!) to go shopping to find the outfit in our head.
And this is where we stumble. Cruelly, the reality of our bank accounts, outfit options and body shapes are no match for the Cate/Kate n our heads. So when it’s time to get ready for real, we plunge despairingly into the gap between how we’d hoped to look and how we actually look. Yes, most of this problem is imaginary. That’s why it’s a problem. You think we look great. But you want to have sex with us so of course you think that. We are more brutal in our assessment.
Top Comments
I am showered, make up done and dressed for work every morning in 15 minutes, for a night out not that much longer. On the other hand my husband keeps me waiting every morning :)
oh dear!! my husband takes way longer than me to go anywhere! 'just gotta go bunnings' 'oh i need a clean shirt' 'ill just have a quick shower' are his favourite phrases to utter minutes before we are supposed to leave