by NATALIA HAWK
When you think about it – wedding traditions can be seriously weird.
The whole wedding ‘concept’ is rather nice of course – two people declaring their eternal love for each other, blah blah, lovely, lovely – but why on earth are we so stuck on white dresses? Why do we always save some of the wedding cake? Why does the bride have to be given away – can’t she walk herself down the damn aisle? She’s been walking around pretty much every other day of her life.
Mental Floss have researched the bizarre origins of different wedding traditions – and we’ve rounded up the strangest of them. And… well prepare for your world to be rocked because some of those quaint and delightful traditions have some pretty bizarre roots.
There was a time when a bride’s wedding attire was simply the best thing in her closet (talk about “off the rack”), and could be any color, even black. It was dear ol’ Queen Victoria (whose reign lasted from 1837-1901) who made white fashionable. She wore a pale gown trimmed in orange blossoms for her 1840 wedding to her first cousin, Prince Albert.
Just recently, Jessica Biel married Justin Timberlake wearing a pale pink wedding dress – and the world collectively lost its shit. “A PINK WEDDING DRESS?” we all exclaimed. “HOW OUTRAGEOUS!”
But hey, it seems that Biel was simply going back to pre-Queen-Victoria times and embracing the potential for originality. Bring back coloured wedding dresses, we say. (But other 19th century things can DEFINITELY stay in that era. Corsets? The Plague? Enough said.)
All of our society’s gender issues stem from the fact that fathers once used their daughters as currency to a) pay off a debt to a wealthier land owner, b) symbolize a sacrificial, monetary peace offering to an opposing tribe or c) buy their way into a higher social strata. So next time you tear up watching a beaming father walk his little girl down the aisle, remember that it’s just a tiny, barbaric little hold over from the days when daughters were nothing but dollar signs to daddy dearest.
Here I was thinking that it was such a beautiful, heartfelt tradition for a dad to walk his daughter down the aisle. Turns out it’s all just a transaction. And those beautiful veils I’ve always admired? Simply tools of trickery and deceit, apparently they only existed so that the groom wouldn’t bolt if he didn’t like his new bride’s appearance.
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I'd heard that the lifting of the veil was meant to signify the breaking of the hymen. Which makes the US version, where the Dad does the lifting before handing her over, really icky.
I found these for a friend who got married a few weeks ago and sent them to her:
Dear Shelley,
I found these on the internet and just had to show you how crazy weddings can be for when it all seems insane. I swear I haven’t altered them at all!
•If a bride wishes to be the dominating influence in her married life, she must be the first to buy something after the marriage. The best way to ensure this is to buy a pin from the chief bridesmaid when changing into her travelling costume. (See the 5c I added to the emergency kit just in case you’re superstitious).
•It is fortunate for a bride to meet a lamb, a dove, a spider, or a black cat on her way to the wedding: but a pig or funeral are bad omens, and country brides fear the crowing of a cock after dawn of the wedding day.
•It is also fortunate that if on the journey to the church the bride sees a policeman, clergyman, doctor or a blind man on the way to the wedding.
•When the bride is ready to leave the house for the wedding ceremony a last look in the mirror will bring her good luck. However returning to the mirror once she has began her journey will result in bad luck.
•Shoes- In the past there have been a number of customs involving shoes which were thought to bring good luck. The best known, which is still upheld, is to tie shoes to the back of the newlyweds' car. This has evolved from the Tudor custom where guests would throw shoes at the newlywed couple. It was considered lucky if they or their carriage were hit.
Less well known is for the bride's father to give the groom a pair of the bride's shoes to symbolise the passing of responsibility for the daughter to her new husband. A variation of the custom is for the groom to tap the bride on the forehead with one of the shoes to assert his dominance (Let’s not tell James about this one just in case).
Your traditions
Something Old: Is usually worn by a bride representing a link with the bride and family or the things in her past she doesn’t want to forget.
Something New: Represents good fortune, happiness and success in the bride’s new life. Most bride’s choose their wedding dress as their ‘something new’ item, however it may be any new item worn on her wedding day.
Something Borrowed: Which a happy bride has previously worn is believed to bestow good luck upon the couple’s marriage.
Something Blue: In biblical times, the colour blue was believed to represent purity and fidelity. A blue garter or handkerchief is a popular choice amongst modern brides.
Silver Sixpence: This tradition dates back to Victorian times where a silver sixpence was given to the bride-to-be in order to bring wealth and happiness to the newly married couple. The custom states that the coin should be placed into the left shoe of the bride. Often given up for the sake of comfort in new shoes!