It seems many of us are very, very worried.
So, tell me. What’s wrong with this picture?
Me, I would question the filter. Slumber can make the most handsome of men look so washed out.
But apparently, that is NOT what is wrong with this picture.
What is wrong with this picture is that the little baby in the carrier – Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s daughter James – is in there all wrong. She’s too low, or too high, or too small, or too big. Something.
Here’s a quick sample of comments that were posted about this picture when it was posted on Lively’s Instagram account.
Such concern, such worry. Really, won’t someone think of the children?
I’m calling bullshit. These people are not in the least bit concerned about the safety of baby James. They are simply revelling in the adrenalin rush of pointing out someone else’s mistake.
And in the real world, just like in the online world, we have a name for people who get pleasure from pointing out what others have got wrong – they’re called dicks.
An opinion? Completely valid. Schadenfreude from realising that the people we think are perfect are not? Legitimate, if unnattractive. Shaming parents who are doing their best? Dick move.
Here’s another, not-so-similar example from this week.
Hilaria Baldwin has had a baby. Who? She is the second wife of Alex Baldwin and she’s a yoga instructor who posts pictures of her amazing self like this:
Which would usually be enough for my inner dick to ridicule her immediately, but this week, Hilaria posted a post-baby selfie of her stomach, two days after the birth of her son, Raphael:
Along with the photo, Hilaria posted that she was sharing this image to make women who have just had babies feel better about themselves. Yes, okay… Bear with me.
Update on us… Rafael is doing wonderfully! He is two days old now. Such a sweet little boy. I’m feeling well, been up with him every hour to two hours. I have been planning on doing post belly photos but didn’t know if I was gonna have the guts to actually follow through. I hope you understand my intention here: I believe it is important to accept and love our form after going through a bit of a battle bringing life into this world. Deep breath, here we go…all the way from my glamorous hospital bathroom #ShrinkingBaldwinBabyBump #NoShame #LoveYourBody 6d
But what the Concerned Trolls took from the picture was not that Hilaria was proud of her tummy, but that the fact she was still in hospital TWO DAYS after birth must have meant she had a caesarian.
You just look so great after your baby because you had a scheduled C. Maybe you should focus more on that baby and less on the mirror. – BTG2.
She got so many that Baldwin has posted another picture, to “prove” that she didn’t.
1) I apologize for the weird post and I want to say I am grateful for all the concern I have read on my photo comments. I know they are coming from a good place.
2) This is for those of you who are getting into some pretty serious arguments with each other about if I had a c section or not…this should clear it up: as you can see from this pic, I did not have a c section.
Aside from the ridiculous notion that she would have anything to “admit” about any way she gave birth, ever, Hilaria knows these people are not “coming from a good place”. They are really looking for a way that this rich and beautiful woman – a pin-up for natural health – may have somehow screwed up, or misled them.
Of course, the Ryan Reynolds and Hilaria Baldwins of the world are not in need of our righteous defence. They are only this week’s poster children for one of the very favourite pastimes of parenthood:
Telling everyone else they are doing it wrong.
If you are a parent you will be very familiar with this. At some point in your parenting life you will have been told – overtly or via a complex code – that the way you are raising your child – feeding them, caring for them, teaching them things is Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.
If you are working too much you are doing it wrong, if you are staying at home you are doing it wrong. If you are carrying them, or pushing them, or letting them climb trees or not letting them climb trees, you are doing it wrong.
Mostly, we’re not. We’re trying to do it right.
Of course, there are a few exceptions. This guy? The one with the gun on the bedside table? Definitely doing it wrong:
This woman. The one who named her baby Hashtag? Doing it wrong:
But the rest of you. You’re most likely doing your best.
And if you get pleasure out of calling the rest of us out, that’s up to you. But don’t pretend you’re concerned. Don’t pretend you are doing it for the children.
Own the fact that really, you’re just a being a bit of a dick.
Do you think we over-criticise parents? Or is it too important a job to get “wrong”?
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