fitness

The 14 kinds of runners you see at the park

Runners are like snowflakes: no two are the same. While some people run with the all the ease of a leopard, others… well, let’s stick with the African animal theme here and say we’ve seen baby giraffes move more elegantly.

Whether you’re a running evangelical or a total non-believer, we promise you’ll find yourself on this list.

1. The Forrest Gump

You don’t necessarily look like ‘a runner’. You don’t necessarily have the technique of ‘a runner’. But damn, son, once you hit that footpath you’re indefatigable. Hell, you could probably run across the country if you didn’t have a day job/family/general life responsibilities to attend to.

 

2. The Kamikaze Runner

Your running style is... exuberant, to say the least. If you've ever noticed your fellow joggers moving out of your way - right out of your way... It might be because you're a Kamikaze Runner. But hey, if Phoebe Buffay is wrong, who wants to be right?

 

3. The Evangelical Runner

Even rate, strong technique, steady breathing... you have the running technique mere mortals can only dream of. Your daily 10k trot would look amazing set to the tune of Chariots of Fire.

 

4. The Hannah Horvath

Basically, you've never run without being bribed first. And you don't go without a fight.

 

5. The 'In It To Win It' Runner

Whether you're at the gym or in the park, you approach every running opportunity with the cut-throat determination of a Hunger Games tribute. A run = a race, and coming second is not an option. Most of the time, the jogger next to you isn't aware of this.

 

6. The Incidental Runner

The only time you're running is when you're running... late. If you added up all those manic dashes you've made for the bus over your lifetime it'd equal at last one marathon, so you're pretty much an Olympic athlete by now.

 

7. The Hamster

In your eyes, the treadmill isn't a hobby - it's a lifestyle choice. You either have, or dream of having, one installed in your bedroom.

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8. The Drunk Runner

Running under the influence: it always seems like a good idea at the time.

 

9. The Running Romance

The couple that runs together... elicits eye-rolls from everybody they pass. Just so you know, there are more enjoyable ways to get sweaty together, and you don't even have to leave the house.

 

10. The 'Running in Heels' runner

That traffic light might be flashing red, but dammit, you are not letting your Louboutins stop you from crossing the road.

 

11. The 'Rain, Hail or Shine' Runner

While the rest of us use any departure from 'fine and sunny' as an excuse to stay in bed, your commitment to running knows no bounds. You will probably still be running on your death bed. You're basically Rocky.

 

12. The Un-Runner

Let's be honest, your style is really more of a brisk jog walk stroll.

13. The Easily Distracted Runner

Look, you try to remain focused on the task at hand, but...

 

14. The Horizontal Runner

You get that running is good for you and all that jazz, but you have one major objection: having to get out of bed first.

 

So, tell us: which running style matches yours?

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Regardless of how well or terribly you run, you can always enjoy the view. Check out these beautiful running tracks from around the country, or find a race near you:

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