The sex sounds… painful?
A 31-year-old UK woman has told her family she has fallen in love with a tree.
And she and her tree (whom she has labelled ‘Tim’) want to get married.
According to the article in Closer magazine, Emma McCabe, who is probably suffering from a condition called dendrophilia (an association between sex and trees), had a series of unlucky relationships with men, and became focused on an object that couldn’t reject her.
“My feelings are genuine,” Emma told the magazine. “He fulfils my emotional and sexual needs. I orgasm by rubbing against the bark naked. I have sex with him every week – it’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”
A woman buys a packet of Tim Tams. Nude scandal ensues.
Although her family are ‘shocked’ by the relationship between Emma and the poplar tree, Emma says they “know how much Tim means to me so they support me.”
Well… at least she’s happy, right?
Top Comments
So sad. So many lonely men. Try harder, even the lonely hearts clubs can help.
He must be well grounded, make sure he doesn't branch out!!