lifestyle

For $25, you can buy a cream that 'shrinks' your vagina.

 

There are some disturbing things available for purchase on the Internet – and we think this particular item tops the list.

It’s vaginal shrinking cream. Yes, you read that correctly.

As you can tell by the packaging, it’s not designed to shrink your vagina completely. Rather, it’s all about restoring your vagina to its’ former… er… glory:

 

Because we know you have ALL THE QUESTIONS IN THE WORLD, we have taken the liberty of answering them for you.

How does it work?

According to the Vaginal Shrinking official website, simply apply the cream to the vagina of choice and wait five minutes; after applying, the area will be ‘tight’ for up to 24 hours (whatever happened to kegel exercises?).

The active ingredient is something called Alum, which is “a strong astringent that tightens the vaginal walls. It is used for its blood coagulant and soothing properties.”

Sounds safe. *Cough*

Oh, and if you decide to purchase, you’ll be paying anywhere from $25 to $40 for the privilege.

But… what’s the point?

Well. The product’s tagline is “feel tight and wanted again!” which is about a million different shades of wrong. Not least because if you are worried about your sex life or your relationship, a vaginal shrinking cream is probably not the answer.

Is it disturbing that it’s called ’18 Again’?.

Yes. Yes it is.

What are the reviewers saying about it?

This is the funny part, actually. Amazon reviewers are having a great time in the ‘reviews’ section:

I used this cream and nothing is like I’m 18 again. My hair is just as grey as it has been for years now. False advertising!

Total false advertising. I ate the whole tube, looked at my license, and it still says I’m 34! Do not buy!

I purchased this as a gift for my mother. I expected it to be well received, however, it was rather awkward. Unfortunately, even though I requested status updates on the performance of the product, none have been forthcoming. If I receive any additional information I will update this review.

Bravo, comrades. Bravo.

So… vaginal shrinking cream. Penny for your thoughts?