By MAMAMIA ROGUE

Welcome to Twerking 101. Everything you need to know about the confusing and confronting world of the twerk is on the syllabus. Get studying.

What the WHAT was Miley Cyrus doing with her bum last night?

Oh, you mean this?

miley-vma

Miley be twerking.

What is a ‘twerk’ and where do I get one?

Twerking is a dance move in which you shake your bum independently from the rest of your body. Observe:

twerking

twerking-3

It has been part of hip hop culture since the 90’s but became a bit of a mainstream craze over the last year or so. In fact, it would probably be disappearing into fad-oblivion right now if Miley hadn’t stepped in and given it a second wind.

I only use my butt for sitting and pooping. How does one learn this ‘twerking’ business?

There are a bazillion instructional videos on Youtube, but the most popular has over 12 million hits (the majority of which were probably ol’ Miles, bless her heart). Check it:

Hmmm. I’m still don’t know… Is this actually a thing people do or are you having a laugh?

Shaking one’s bum independent of one’s body is definitely a thing people do. There are even twerking dance troupes in schools and you can twerk at competition level, not to mention ‘Twerkout’ DVDs:

twerk-workout

So people like twerking?

Um, well… Some people do:

Screen shot 2013-08-27 at 2.03.46 PM

How did I miss this? Has everyone been on the twerking bandwagon except me?

Don’t feel bad, a LOT of people woke up this morning feeling left out – but that just means there’s been a twerk explosion over the last 24 hours. Everyone’s having a go. Clive Palmer even says if you can’t twerk you can’t be Prime Minister (and subsequently took himself out of the running):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuVgMLNhFuc

Ross Greenwood on The Today Show:

today-twerkingBig Brother:

big-brother-twerk

Are there other things I can do with my time that are more productive than twerking?

No. No there are not.

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