real life

He caught his wife cheating, and then live-blogged their entire confrontation.

He caught his wife cheating, and decided to take revenge.

If you caught your partner cheating, would you…

A) Confront them immediately like a mature, normal human being.

B) Say nothing. Pretend you didn’t go snooping through their phone. Let the guilt eat at you for years.

C) Hire a private investigator and live-blog the entire, excruciating experience for the whole Internet to see.

One Reddit user, depressingly called ‘MyLifeSuxNow’, believed the best course of action was C.

What he found was pretty horrifying. Think dick pics, sexy talk and lots of mention of Zack’s “sack”.

MyLifeSuxNow has been married for eight years to his wife, Jenny. They were that couple that make you feel a bit sick – the couple that share their Facebook, email and phone passwords. There’s your first problem, right there.

He told Reddit he checked his wife’s phone while she was sleeping, because his brother sent her a text: “I decided to open up the phone and reply something stupid and funny in order to embarrass Jenny.” Trying to embarrassing his wife: problem number two.

Husband takes revenge on cheating wife by selling her wedding dress online.

“I opened up the iMessage app and went to read their previous conversation to see what was happening, so I could tell a relevant joke. Second to the top of the list of conversations was a chat with a guy/girl named Zack. I didn’t know who Zack was, but the most recent thing he sent her was “<3 gn”. I was curious, so I put off replying to my brother and opened up Jenny and Zack’s chat.”

What he found was pretty horrifying. Think dick pics, sexy talk and lots of mention of Zack’s “sack”.

It dawns on him: “I realised my wife is cheating on me. I took a moment to realise that this was the end of our marriage. All of our happy times, our foreign trips, and our romantic nights must have meant nothing to her.”

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At first, MyLifeSuxNow decided to do nothing. He woke Jenny up, made her breakfast and listened to the sound of her phone go off seven times while she was showering.

There’s fidelity. There’s cheating. And then there’s this.

Cheated-on-husband must have been acting off, he decides, because Jenny changed her phone password.

Later that day he stole her phone again, and Jenny went out “with friends” without it. He ponders whether to divorce her and decides to hire a private investigator and take this business to the next level.

(5:15pm) 1/16/2015: Private Investigator hired to tail her Saturday, Sunday and Monday

(6:00pm) 1/16/2015: It took a while, but passwords to everything changed, backed up personal info, created throwaway email to send proof to.

(6:47pm) 1/16/2015: She’s home, it really sucks speaking to her normally, but I’m dealing with it. No sex. Also, I’ve found 3 excellent divorce lawyers for myself. Luckily I make much more than her so I can afford an excellent lawyer while she can only afford a mediocre one at best.

(8:54pm) 1/16/2015: Goddammit she’s on her phone texting again in the bathroom. I can hear the send button being pressed over and over. It’s probably nudes and sexy talk. Jeesus this hurts.

Jenny had planned a weekend getaway with her sister-in-law, Carly. They leave the next morning, not realising a PI is following their car.

“I took a moment to realize that this was the end of our marriage. All of our happy times, our foreign trips, and our romantic nights must have meant nothing to her.”

They visit a hotel. They go to a coffee shop. They meet up with a random man. And then it’s confirmed: Jenny and Carly are both having affairs.

(3:27pm) 1/17/2015: Zack and Jenny are relaxing on the front porch, just talking and holding hands. My PI is super far away, they can’t see him but he can see them.

(4:04pm) 1/17/2015: They have arrived at the hotel. Zack, Jenny, and stranger are heading into the hotel, Carly is inside the hotel somewhere.

(4:11pm) 1/17/2015: My PI followed them into the lobby, Jenny picked up a room key and all 3 of them headed for the elevator.

(4:16pm) 1/17/2015: Okay, so essentially all four of them are inside the hotel doing something, most likely having sex. The thought of my wife having sex with another man makes me want to puke, but I’m coping.

The next day, Jenny and Zack are seen in passionate, definitely-a-couple embrace. MyLifeSuxNow waits for her to come home from her “weekend girls trip” and finally confronts her.

“I saw my friend’s husband on an online dating site”.

After screaming, crying, lies and anger, Jenny has come clean. His final message ends on the most depressing note we’ve ever read:

(5:51) 1/18/2015: Jenny is using the bathroom. I’ll quickly say the next update that I post at my friends house will be lengthy. And not very good. It went more or less as I expected. The lies I’ve been told in the past 2 hours, the lies. I have to get out of here, it isn’t pleasant. A huge part of my life is falling apart around me.

Well, kids. Lesson one here: Don’t cheat. Lesson two: If you catch your wife cheating, maybe don’t post the whole thing to a public forum.

If you’re not emotionally exhausted after reading that summary, click here to read the full post.