A blogger dared to dislike her Thermomix. Almost got lynched.

Okay, friends. We need to talk.

Everyone needs to calm the s**t down about the Thermomix.

Blogger Lana Hirschowitz has just been trolled by the Thermomix community (yep, there is a community. Or more like a religion, or even a cult) for daring to suggest that the $2,000 appliance isn’t all that.

And it’s not the first war waged by the mad Thermomix-lovers. They have proved to be a formidably scary force before, and have been labelled the ‘Thermomix Hate Brigade’.

Guys. It’s a fecking appliance.

I know it can cook and stir at the same time and has all kinds of shiny buttons, but it’s still a fecking appliance. Would you threaten someone for discrediting the quality of your toaster or eggbeater? Probs not. CALM THE SHIT DOWN.

Lana wrote on her “no-advertising” blog Sharpest Pencil, “I worry that I’ll be ostracised like a leper from a community that prays before the Thermomix, but I’m taking the chance. I just don’t love the Thermomix.”.

And boy, was she ostracised. She was called a scammer, a ‘poor-little-rich girl’, and more. In a follow-up post, Lana wrote:

“…Some of the people that run Thermomix recipe sites came across my blog and for reasons I will never understand it angered them, it angered them to such an extent and with such force that they decided (without knowing anything about me) that I was a very bad person.  A lying and cheating bad person.  I had scammed them (HOW?) and I had click baited them (HOW?).  Defamatory remarks were written about me and pointed out to me by friends and family members and I cried. A lot.”

I have heard from my friends who own one (well, friend. Singular) that a Thermomix is a pretty impressive appliance. It makes dips and custards and cures cancer (no, wait. It doesn’t cure cancer. It’s a fecking appliance). It makes cooking so much easier and cleaner and friendlier and sexier, and all at the touch of a button. That’s great.

But still… APPLIANCE.

The greatest review of a Thermomix you’ll ever see.

Sometimes I wonder if the people who own them just bang on about them as justification for forking out $2000. It’s a lot of money. If I add up every appliance in my kitchen, I’d still fall short of that price tag. I include the fridge and the oven in that. It’s fine to buy expensive things if you want them. Just be secure enough with your own purchase that you don’t need everyone else to marvel at the blendy-cooky-buttony wonder of your overpriced machine.

I know there are lots of lovely, gentle, open-minded Thermomixers out there. So this is only for the ones who are willing to write vitriolic comments to someone who dared to claim they weren’t taking their hot-blender to bed at night for spooning:

If you have a Thermomix, good for you.

If you like your Thermomix, good for you.

If you want to own a Thermomix, good for you.

Just remember: It’s a fecking appliance. Don’t be Thermo-dicks.