lifestyle

What not to do when you find $150,000 lying on the ground.

All he had to do was play it cool…

Occasionally, you have an unusually good day.

Your hair falls perfectly into place even though you didn’t have time to blowdry it.

Your boss forgets that you were meant to do that presentation.

Your children eat everything on their plates and go to bed without complaint.

A universal rule governs such inexplicable good luck: be cool, because as soon as you reschedule your hair appointment for next week or take a long lunch or invite the girls over to your suspiciously quiet house for a drink, everything will go to shit faster than you can say “sneaky chardonnay”.

found money on the ground
Alton Harvey. (Photo: Mahwah, N.J. Police Department)

Like a good hair day, a free pass at work or well-behaved children, $150,000 in cash is a gift few of us deserve. It’s important to tread very, very carefully and not make any sudden movements if you come across such a gift…  or you might end up like Alton Harvey, the 42-year-old man who found $150,000 in a bag on the ground and failed to be cool in the most spectacular way possible.

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Actual footage of the bag of money before Harvey found it.

Harvey’s day started off pretty great. An ATM worker (whose job is apparently to rock up to the ATM, chuck the cash in a sack, sling it over their shoulder and stroll away whistling) made what I assume is a fire-able mistake and left the money just sitting on the ground for Harvey to find.

If Harvey were a responsible man, he would have returned the money immediately taken it home and hidden it inside some hollowed out books and under loose floorboards and taped to the insoles of his shoes for a few years until the heat died down and he could move to Dubai to spend up big.

Related: That awkward moment when the guy you bought a lotto ticket with suddenly buys an expensive car.

But Harvey is not a responsible man, so he chucked the money in his van, headed to his nearest luxury car dealer and bought a $46,000 SUV. Then he stole some tyres, presumably to prove that even though he’s a rich man now, he still #livesforthethrill.

An artist’s impression of Harvey’s new SUV and stolen tyres.

Two days later, the cops found his new car and stolen tyres and carted Harvey off to jail, where his bail was set at $125,000.

Fingers crossed one of his mates finds some cash on the ground to cover it.

The moral of the story? When you’re faced with unexpected good news, be cool. Just be cool. And for God’s sake, don’t steal any tyres.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever found on the ground?

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