real life

Thinking of sharing a Facebook video montage? Don’t.

Hmph.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t mean to be a buzzkill (she says right before she’s about to be a massive buzzkill) but…

Can we just NOT with the Facebook Look Back videos?

You’ve probably seen them pop up in your Newsfeed the last couple of days. Basically, Facebook is turning ten, and to celebrate, they’ve created a handy tool that takes all the highlights from your profile since you joined, and puts them into an minute-long personalised video montage, complete with emotional music and fancy graphics.

If you want to see yours, go to https://www.facebook.com/lookback/ and it happens automatically.

Here’s the thing you guys: We control our own Facebook profiles for a reason. A video montage put together without your own creative input is practically guaranteed to be a disappointment, because Facebook doesn’t select the BEST MOMENTS FROM YOUR LIFE, it just selects some photos you’ve posted on Facebook, via a super-personal algorithm.

I joined Facebook in 2007, and since that time, I’ve been through a pretty bad break up, gained heaps of weight and posted a LOT of statuses about TV, all of which was represented in my montage. I also graduated university, ended up in my dream job and became an aunty for a second time – none of which was represented in my montage.

Your system is flawed, Mark Zuckerberg.

What she said.

If I wanted to listen to a sentimental piano solo while looking at a photo of myself drinking cheap wine straight from the bottle, I’d organise that in my own time, thanks.

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Now, dear reader, if you’re shaking your head and getting ready to post a comment admonishing me for being so bitter, then I’m guessing you’re one of the 500 insufferable people who posted their video publicly, along with a status like “Can’t believe it’s been 7 years! #life #solucky #lookback #LOVE #blessed #gratitude.”

Well, I’ve got news for you, friend: Nobody cares about your Facebook Lookback video. Nobody cares about celebrating the anniversary of when you joined a social networking site.

Nobody wants to look at you in the following picutures: Beach, food, food, beach, kids, party, food, funny meme, kids, plane wing, wedding, beach.

Nobody is watching, so stop clogging up my Newsfeed.

And when it comes to picking the best moments of my life to put on display… Thanks Facebook, but I’ll take it from here.

P.S – Here’s a fun game: if you want to subtly tell your friends that you don’t really give much of a stuff about their crappy montage, share this post on your Facebook wall! Then they’ll blame me for being mean and not you!

And if you’re one of the ones who hates me after reading this, post your video montage with pride and DEFY MY BITTERNESS.

Did you like your Facebook Look Back video, or was just filled with photos of you drinking? And have you bothered to watch anyone else’s?

Follow Rosie on Twitter @RosieWaterland

 

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Rogue is Mamamia’s space for fun, viral and random content, with everything from feminism to pop culture. We scour the internet so you don’t have to, and bring all the best bits back.