Nigella Lawson and husband Charles Saatchi and inset, her father Nigel Lawson
Whether you have a good or a bad relationship with your dad, the idea that you would be with someone just like him is a little…….something. Odd? Confronting? Squirmy?
I have an excellent father and I can see in many ways my husband does resemble him (not physically). In other ways, they couldn’t be more different. According to a story on CNN, it’s very normal to choose a partner who reminds you of one of your parents…..
Berkeley, California, psychotherapist Elayne Savage says familiarity is a big reason people may choose someone like Mom or Dad as a partner.
“When you grow up familiar with a certain type of person, you’re attracted to that same type of person because it feels
comfortable, whether you like it or not,” says Savage. “That’s what peoplemean when they meet a potential partner and say, ‘It ‘feels like I’ve known him my whole life.’”
Angelina and Brad and inset, father John Voight
Another study shows that there’s a direct link between the quality of your relationship with you father and how much your future partner looks like him.….
Researcher Dr Lynda Boothroyd said: “These results show for
certain that the quality of a daughter’s relationship with her
father has an impact on who she finds attractive.
“It shows our brains don’t simply build prototypes of the ideal
face based on those we see around us, rather we build them based on
those to whom we have a strongly positive relationship.
“We can now say that daughters who have very positive childhood
relationships with their fathers choose men with similar facial
characteristics to their father.”
Dr Boothroyd, a Durham University psychologist, asked a group of
women about the type of men they found attractive.
The 49 young women were asked to rate a series of photos of men
in terms of attractiveness.
They were also asked how close they were to their fathers, with
questions including how involved their father had been in their
upbringing and how much he had been away from home when they were
Lily Allen with her dad and inset, a boyfriend
The researchers also analysed pictures of the women’s fathers,
making measurements of key facial characteristics such as size of
nose, prominence of cheekbones and distance between eyes.
Analysis of the results revealed striking similarities between
the faces of the men found attractive by the daddy’s girls and the
pictures of their fathers.
But those who did not have happy childhood memories of their
fathers chose men who looked very different.
Previous studies have shown the phenomenon is not restricted to
daddy’s girls, with mummy’s boys actively seeking out women who
look like their mothers.
The phenomenon, known as sexual imprinting, may have evolved to
help youngsters choose a compatible mate.
By modelling their own choice of mate on their parents’
successful marriage, a daddy’s girl or mummy’s boy may increase
their own chances of having a happy partnership.
In addition, they may believe that a man who looks like their
father or a woman who looks like their mother is more likely to be
a good parent.
The same thinking could lead to those with bad childhood
memories actively avoiding hooking up with a partner who reminds
them of one of their parents, the journal Evolution and Human
Gwyneth and husband Chris Martin and inset, father Bruce Paltrow – source