Welcome to Group Therapy where you get to exchange wisdom with others in the Mamamia community. Today’s question is about the negative influence of your partners FATHER. We’ve had several discussions here about dealing with mothers-in-law but fathers? They get a lot less air-time, don’t they?
My boyfriend’s parents got divorced when he was quite young and he lives with his mum and stepdad. His dad lives in Hong Kong and he gets to see him maybe once every 6 months. He is there at the moment, and the last time he was there was when we both went up in December last year for 2 weeks.
My problem is that his dad is making things really hard for him. He espouses his ‘life philosophy’ to my boyfriend at every chance he gets, telling him that I’m controlling and that he should just go out and sleep with lots of different women, and saying awful things about my boyfriend’s mother (his ex-wife). It’s really getting to my boyfriend that his father is so continually negative and whining and putting down everything that my boyfriend does or says.
How can I be supportive of my boyfriend without saying bad things about his father? He already has a mother who says bad things about the father so I don’t want to do that but I can’t be there for him right now (or defend myself against the horrible things that he is saying about me).
I just don’t know what to do or where the line is. I don’t want to be another person in his life that just bitches about his parents. I just don’t know how to respond when a father treats his son like that.
Any help would be much appreciated.
Over to you. Do you have any bad experiences with the dads of your current or previous partners? How should she handle it?
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