The announcement comes after dinnertime. Mum turns off the television and asks for our attention.
“We’re selling the house and moving to Queensland,” she says, looking down at the table. There is so much in her voice. Excitement, but mostly apprehension and the sadness that comes with anticipating a big move.
Her announcement doesn’t exactly come as a shock. After working hard for many years, my parents have spent the last few mapping out a long retirement in Coolum Beach with only the sunshine and golf courses for company. Mum plans to finally get herself a dog – someone to give her “unconditional love”, she likes to joke.
My brother and I are happy for them to experience their new adventure. We toast with champagne and then move onto other topics of conversation.
And yet, several hours later, I go to take a shower and find myself in tears, trying to comprehend how we’re possibly ever going to let go of this house – the house I grew up in.
The house is red brick, with a big cream garage door and a wooden front door. There are tall, pruned trees lining the path to the front door and fairy lights strung across the back fence. Inside, the smell of fresh laundry lingers on the cream walls and enormous windows that flood every room with light.
The house also has ugly tiles that get mossy if they don’t get cleaned with a high-pressure hose, moths that refuse to vacate the pantry and birds that keep dive-bombing the roof and dislodging charcoal tiles.
To the untrained eye, the house is completely unremarkable. A typical suburban family home, surrounded by other typical family homes.
To us, it’s a palace.
Mum and Dad were the ones who designed the house. They migrated to Australia from a communist country at a young age with two suitcases in their hands and no money in their pockets. They lived in a flat that was infested with cockroaches while they worked. And saved. And worked some more.
They had a baby – my brother – who played on the floor with the cockroaches. They worked, they saved, they worked, they saved. The baby grew to a toddler and then to a small child. They moved to a slightly bigger flat and had another baby – me. My grandmother came to Australia to live with us. And once I’d grown a bit too, they thought they’d take all their saved pennies and put it towards building the five of us a house.
They gave me a walk-in wardrobe. They gave my brother a room big enough to fit all his books and games. They gave my grandmother her own retreat downstairs, where she wouldn’t have to navigate too many stairs. They gave us a TV room and a library and a family room and the “Christmas dinner” room where we only ever sit to eat once a year.
The entire house was built especially for us. It’s only ever known our family – our jokes, our arguments, our raging debates after too many flutes of champagne. So how can another family possibly ever live in it?
I step out of the shower and think back to a moment when I was probably about fifteen. I had a few friends over and they wore shoes into the house, despite the no-shoes rule. Mum fussed and stressed that they would scratch the floor, and I became annoyed and embarrassed that she even cared so much. “It’s just a floor!” I said. “It’s not life or death!”
“I care about this house because I know it’s the best I’ll ever have,” she replied quietly.
I turned, and I told my friends to please take their shoes off.
Travel back in time with this ‘Looking into the past’ gallery; thanks Buzzfeed.

Looking into the past
You can also hop on over to our sister site iVillage.com.au for these hilarious recreations of childhood photos.
What’s the story of the house you grew up in?







Comments
79 Comments so far
Crazy childhood that l had, the only constant was the family home ( my grandparents house) . It gave me a sense of stability when the world around me was incredibly unstable. My memories where of screaming-police-foster care-grandparents-family home. I’m know 46 and l have made it the most important aspect of my children’s world ,the family home. It’s the simple structure of a family home that always bought me comfort and it represents so much. Thank you.
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Thanks for this Nat, I know the feeling well. I was devastated when my parents moved out of our family home, they had lived there for 42 years and like your parents, had built it from scratch.
I remember the day they moved out I walked around the house and the yard that my dad kept manicured like parklands, absorbing everything I could before they left. I took photos, I cried and it felt so surreal that someone else would be living in MY house.
The lovely thing is that I still have vivid dreams set in the house and in them I remember every single detail including things I haven’t thought about for years. It’s kinda like going home again.
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I still live in the home I grew up in! Looking to move away in about six months’ time if things go well, but the room I’m typing this comment from is the room I have slept in ever since I was old enough to not sleep in my parents’ room. I first shared it with my sisters and felt free as a bird when they moved out. And now one of the wardrobes, as well as some storage areas under my bed, are used for clothes and nappies for my little nephews and nieces whenever they’re here!
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What a beautiful story! I’m quite jealous actually.
I’ve been a nomad my entire life, the longest my family ever spent in the one place was 5 years. I’ve moved and lived in 17 houses in my very short, 20 year life.
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I was an army brat and I had a similar upbringing. But my grandparents’ house has been constant throughout my life. I’ll be devastated when it (and they) is gone.
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Beautifully written, Nat. Loved it.
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Nat, I loved hearing about your wonderful parents & what they did to create your family & home. No wonder you write so well, it just seems that you were raised right. I wish them all the best in their new life in Qld.
I lived in one family home until my family split up when I was 13. My sister moved out, my dad moved away & my mum & I moved into a new place. Mum worked hard to make it our’s – new paint, wallpaper, etc. Then when she paid that off in four years we moved again to a larger place & that’s the home I left when I moved away.
I have good & bad memories of each home. I remember when we extended the first house & mum would cook scones for the workmen & we would all have fish & chips for lunch. I remember Dad painting the fence & helping weed the garden. I remember we planted snapdragons for my sister when she went to boarding school briefly so she’d have something to look forward to seeing when she came home. I remember coming home from school & checking the passionfruit vine & the strawberry patch & the citrus trees. I would gather up the ripe fruit. I remember the sleepovers with friends, the birthday parties, the pool nights when the adults would play & the kids would all watch a video then get to play one game. The next day the kids would all come back with the little numbers from kelly ball that their parents had left in their pockets & we’d play pool for the morning.
I also have memories of the fighting. My parents had to patch the wall before we sold the house where Dad had thrown a coffee cup during one fight. It had had a spoon rack covering it for years.
I’ve lived away from where I was born for 17yrs now. When I next visit it will be with my husband & daughter. I think we might do a drive by of the old place. There’s a park behind that first house & from the hill you can see into the yard. I could show her where I used to play & cartwheel & escape the fighting & dream of a better life.
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Beautiful post – the second-last sentence made me cry.
Your parents sound like my parents – they work so hard to make such a good life for us. My parents too came from a poor country with no money and two children in tow yet my sister and I never felt like we missed out on anything. We are so lucky. I can’t wait for the day my parents can stop working and just enjoy life.
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Thank you Cat
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It looks like the lead graphic for this article was drawn by a Florida artist called Tee Thompson, but I can’t see an accompanying credit for her anywhere. http://www.greenislescrafts.com/2011/07/home-art-prompt-and-journal-page.html Have you obtained a license?
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You know much more than the house I grew up in, I was much sadder when my father said he was retiring and selling his pharmacy. We had moved houses throughout my childhood, but the pharmacy, the staff and the area (Cotton Tree on the Sunshine Coast) had been a constant in my life. I remember being there when the counter and shelves seemed so big and I was just walking. I earned my first dollars there cleaning shelves on a Saturday afternoon, vacuuming and taking out the bins. I love all the staff who have worked there forever. I love the smell of the dispensary with all its pills and packets. I love the twisted cotton trees that grow over by the caravan park and are a micro world to climb among and get lost in.
Dad sold the pharmacy to a mate of his 6 years ago and I still often have dreams about being there and visit “the girls” whenever I am back in the country.
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Rara my grandfather is a retired pharmacist and I know exactly what you’re saying about the smells of the dispensary etc. I used to love going to see Pa at work. He always had the best jelly beans too, the Gold Cross ones. It was the end of an era when they retired.
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Beautiful post Nat!
My parents still live in my childhood home and they moved in before I was born. It’s the only proper home I know and I love coming home. I hadn’t moved houses until I flew to Sydney. Now that I’ve lived in nine different units I appreciate the perils of packing, and I look forward to settling down one day in a home for good.
I started out in the small bedroom, upgraded to the medium sized one and then when my brother moved out I got his large bedroom w ensuite which was perfect for a teenage girl. Now my little sister has downgraded me to the medium bedroom again which is fine because I don’t live there anymore. Its just so great to come home, I don’t mind where I am.
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I think its really interesting how we can establish such close connections to our childhood homes. When I was 16, I moved out of the house I had lived in my whole life to a new house with my mother’s new partner and his two teenage daughters. Strangely, I have never once dreamed of the new house (which my family still live in) but constantly dream of my childhood home in crystal clear detail. Everything takes place there, even things that have happened to me as an adult (e.g. cooking dinner with my current boyfriend – I dream we are cooking in my childhood kitchen). I find it fascinating that my subconscious seems to somehow refuse to acknowledge my current home – even though I now consider this my family base.
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Hey Black Cherry, I wrote my post before reading yours – I have exactly the same dreams set in my childhood home, sometimes with my husband and I as the parents in my parent’s bedroom and our children in the rooms I occupied as a child. It’s so bizarre but feels so right – it’s fascinating how your subconscious holds onto such strong emotions associated with your childhood.
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As a child I moved around quite a bit – different towns, different houses within the towns. I never had a permenant home, and my parents always rented (not complaining I had a very happy childhood). I didn’t put much value into having a family home. However, we visited my grandprents home several times a year. They both passed away within a year of each other when I was a teenager, and once the house was sold I realized how much it meant to me. No more big family gatherings, familiar smells, and of course, it made my grandparents passing seem real. I vowed as a 14 year old to buy the house one day when I could afford it. As I got older (I’m 27 now) I realize I do not want to move to that house…the memories will never be the same without my grandparents. But I still walk by it when I am visiting that city. I still have dreams to buy a house in that neighborhood(unfortunately the rise in cost of living makes it a million dollar house neighborhood, something I cannot afford). It still makes me sad to this day.
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Loved this story Nat.
I think my Mum will be selling my childhood home soon and it makes me so sad thinking about it. I can’t begrudge her a chance at a new place though. She married my Dad after his first wife died of cancer shortly after their daughter was born. She moved into the house he had built with his first wife and has lived their ever since – (giving birth to me a year later).
I never really realised how hard this must have been for her until my wonderful Dad passed away suddenly in January this year. Trying to keep her busy we were clearing some things out when I started going on about some of the old dishes etc cluttering up her tiny kitchen and asking why she kept them up on the limited shelf space. She told me they were Dad’s first wife’s dishes and she didn’t feel comfortable moving them – for thirty five years! I truly don’t think my Dad would have cared either way but Mum felt like it would be disloyal or something I guess.
So although I will be a mess when the time comes to say goodbye to that house (I’ve been going there lately and laying on my Dad’s side of the bed holding his favourite hat and having some really therapeutic crying sessions) I know Dad will be happy to see Mum finally get a place that’s just hers – to decorate and furnish however she wants!!
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Oh Jules, your mum sounds like a wonderful person, respecting your dads first wife and her possessions like that.
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My wife and I both lost our seemingly long term and secure jobs last year (within 3 weeks of one another). Our savings disappeared quickly and 3 months later we were behind in our mortgage and we had to sell the house we had raised our son in for the last 15 years. I still get teary when I think about it and periodically find myself parked outside. So many fond memories. Ironically we both found new jobs soon after we settled the sale. We still have each other. In the end, that is the important thing.
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I have the overwhelming urge to say ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ which seems like something we would say to someone on the death of a person but it just seems to fit your situation – I’m truly sorry for you on the loss of your home.
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this is such a beautiful post!
I live in my grandpa’s house that he gave to my dad when he passed away. I love that he was here, it feels like I’m connected to something. It’s now a ‘trendy’ area, but growing up, people were afraid to come over and play haha. It never bothered me, I loved my neighbours that I didn’t go to school with, and meeting new babies when they were born. All the people that live in this street joke they could never move out because it’s like a little family and it’s so true. My elderly neighbour next door knew my grandpa and whenever i bake and take things in she always says ‘you remind me of your grandpa, he used to do the same thing’ and it might not be the best house, or the best area but I wouldn’t swap it for anything in the world.
My nan lived in few different places throughout her life, Redfern housing commission, amongst others and still she used to say ‘doesn’t matter where you live, when you close your door, it’s your home’….words to live by!
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I never sleep more soundly than I do when I am “home” in the house I lived in as a child, which my parents still own and live in. Was there with my two kids just last week and I felt calm, safe and loved as soon as I walked in the door. Always have. My husband and I are hoping we can recreate that feeling for our kids with the home we bought last year which we are ever so slowly renovating.
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I moved back into my childhood home
extended it, still in the process of some fixing-up (it’s almost 100 years old) but I love it and am so happy my kids are growing up here.
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Our family lived in a house and suburb that ‘Bradley’ deeply disproves of, but based on another post today I felt that I should respond, due to the fact that Bradley and I have both posted what we felt were ‘neutral’ posts that drew Massive pourings of grief/angst/anger and probably slowed us from posting.
My husband and I moved from a high socio-economic suburb without children to a lower, yet funky who-knows-what socio-economic suburb (Red Hill, Brisbane) whilst we grew our brood. Once our eldest said “mum, can I play in the yard” (we didn’t have one) we looked for our next property. It took me more than six months, but we found our imperfect property. Our daughter got into one of the best pre-schools available to us, and onward to primary school (catchment) that is desirable.
It took us many years to make our home ‘perfect’, yet it is still not! Ask any owner of a ‘Queenslander’!!!
We bought this house, oh, so many years ago, from a family who had owned it for several generations; since its inception. It is close to the local primary school and public transport for most private schools.
We want our children to grow up in this house, and the house has grown to meet their needs too.
It has big trees, and it has a history. We know that there are at least two old, dead dogs are planted under the front tree. I love this history. The last original owner loved the fact that a family bought the house. People who would love it, not knock it down to build a replacement. It is a house filled with love (and noise!). We love it here. We knew we were buying into a ‘good suburb’, yet didn’t know just how good it really was.
We just wanted to buy a home that in 25 years time, all of our family could get together and remember the good times that we have had.
So far, it’s been pretty dammned good! I look forward to the next ‘forever’ years.
So, it’s not the house that I grew up in, but the anticipation for that of our children!
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Beautiful story ….I may be biased but your parents are moving to a fantastic place, you will love coming to visit them ..
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I lived in a beautiful, big timber house on the waterfront until my father passed away. I always just thought that what you did when you got married and had kids was buy a big, fancy house to raise them in. It literally never occurred to me that it was a privilege to have such a place and one that I probably would deny myself by not becoming a millionaire (dammit). Now married with a child of my own, we live in a cheap area in a modest home. I still struggle internally with feeling that it’s not a ‘grown up house’ though. Where’s the big tree in the back yard?
Then I do the mortgage calculations on the ‘grown up’ houses, try not to choke, and remind myself my daughter will be better served by growing up with parents not stretched to the hilt trying to pay the mortgage every fortnight. Because I know my parents were.
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I am such a sentimental person probably a little too much. I find it very hard to throw out anything that comes from my childhood but I don’t want to be a hoarder at 28! My biggest keepsake? MY CHILDHOOD HOME
I bought it when I was 20 as I couldn’t imagine not living in it. I live with my husband and look forward to eventually putting my child in my childhood room.
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You’ve captured that so perfectly Nat!
it’s so funny, my parents have been talking about doing the same thing. the people next door are building up and will cut out all our light, and after grieving for a few months my parents are like, “we’ll, it’s been good for us – but maybe it’s time to move.”
It’s great and exciting for them – starting a new chapter and all – but hell, i shed a few tears in the shower as well.
Here’s hoping we’re both lucky enough to create such happy homes and memories for our families.OXOXOX
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I would have thrown a tantrum. My parents built the house I grew up in (and in which they still live) 10 years before I was born. They worked hard to try and pay it off before they had kids so it’s probably not as finished as it could be because my mum got impatient.
I love every part of that house – from the imprint left by my four year old body where I leant against the wet paint in the hall precisely three seconds after being told not to, to the linen cupboard that just housed me, my mum, my brother and the dog during thunderstorms (mum has a phobia of storms and would make us hide in there under the pretext of playing cubbies).
I’m grown up and moved out and in the process of making a forever home for my own baby now…but still, going to visit feels like going home. I know eventually they’ll have to sell…but I really hope that’s a long way off. I want my babies to be old enough to remember and love that house as much as I do
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What a great piece Nat. I really enjoyed this post a lot. I remember fondly the house I spent my childhood in. It was an acre block with a big pool, and our place backed onto another property that had horses I used to feed. Our next door neighbours and our family had a massive mulberry tree on the border of the two properties and I remember gorging myself on them in the summertime.
Living in an inner city apartment now, I do appreciate the idealistic childhood I was lucky enough to have.
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What a beautiful and beautifully written post, Nat!
You write so eloquently about your parents and their quiet struggles as migrants and the added layers of meaning this added to your home…….
I recently went to an open-for-inspection at the house I grew up in.
It was really really weird and sad and happy and weird. I had my 3yo running around and my parents came and we just wandered through the rooms lost in memories.
There was no furniture and very little had changed in the 20 years since we’d lived there. Same carpet and paint and kitchen and bathrooms……
It was surreal standing in my childhood bedroom thinking about the girl who slept there while my own son ran around…….
Such powerful memories.
Great great post.
xxxxx
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Such a great post! I moved around a lot as a child as my dad was in the Navy. We were in Sydney for a few years, then to Perth, Adelaide and now back to Perth. The longest I have ever lived anywhere was 3 years. In 2000 we made our last move to Perth, and are still living in the same house 12 years later.
I love the house my parents purchased for us. It is beautiful and big and it was ours, every house in the past was a rental or defence housing. It had a pool and a ‘theatre room’, and my sister and I had big bedrooms. I was so proud of our house, and my parents have spent the last 12 years making the place ours. I love interior decordating so I have had my fair share of imput, and feel very attached. My bedroom has seen me go from a 11 year old school girl sleeping in a single bed with a blue and yellow starry quilt, to a 23 year old woman.
When my boyfriend asked me to move in with him 2 months ago, I wasn’t surprised (the commute between our houses was an hour, and he lives in the city so it was the sensible choice for us to live in his house) What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotions I felt once I had decided to move out. I cried for all the memories my family and I have created in the house, I cried knowing that ‘my bedroom’ would no longer be that. I cried because I have to leave my beautiful dogs behind. I cried because I am leaving behind the beautiful home my parents have spent their hard earned money creating for me. I cried because my clothes won’t fit in his wardrobe the way they do mine. I cried because his bathroom isn’t as nice as mine. I simply mourned the ending of my childhood, but at the same time was SO excited to be starting this chapter with him. I am a creature of habit I guess and it was all so new to me. Two months down the track I am nothing but happy, I am sure when I empty my room in a months time and move in I will feel some of that sadness again, but the future is far more exciting and rewarding then my childhood bedroom will ever be
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Thinking about the day we (well, mostly my brother) packed up our childhood home because dad had died and mum had sold it, then been hospitalised just before settlement, makes me very sad. Our house was a red brick nothing special with plenty of fauults, but mum and dad bought it just before they married and it was home for all of our childhood. Mum ahd moved around a lot when she was a child and she wanted stability for us, dad was happy with that and so they lived in the same house for 30 years. I live nearby and drive past the hosue regularly, the new owners have made very few changes to the place and it still looks like home. In fact at the end of one very difficult day I nearly pulled into the driveway out of sheer habit – the pull of home was so strong!
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I had the same house from when I was five months old till I was 21. My mum remarried after five years alone and moved to a new house with my step father. I moved in to a unit with my boyfriend. Its about half an hr away from where I am now but when I do get over that way I drive past and reminisce. I dream of knocking on the door and very politely asking if I could look inside for old times sake. They would probably think I was crazy! But, oh, I’d love to see if the kitchen is still lime green and the bathroom is completely blue and what my old bedroom has become…..
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I say you should do it!! There’s no harm in asking
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Jenna, you should definitely knock and ask. My mum has done so many times at places she lived and without exception, the residents have been pleased to chat and invite her in. Further, my sister had someone knock on her door…turned out to be the architect of the house, built some 50 years ago who is a relative of our father’s. Whole lot of new family connections opened up from that one knock!
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This is so beautifully written, itmade me almost want to cry but also feel really peaceful and happy. I hope I can give that to my children one day. Rest easier knowing that your beautifulhosue will one day be all those things to another young family. Thanks Nat!
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I went to 14 different schools, so I never really got to love a house or where we were staying. Growing up was chaotic to say the least. The worst was when we were homeless for a bit, that experience makes you love just having a roof over your head. Since I’ve grown up and had my kids I’ve made sure to try and stay in the one place so my kids can have a chance to succeed at school. We’ve lived 11 years in the one house now, and I have no plans of moving in the near future.
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Its funny how your experiences as a child can mould the life you hope to offer your own children isnt it?
Mine was similar, we didnt settle in the same place until I was a teenager. My sister and I eventually said we’d had enough moving around and wanted to stay! I went to 6 primary schools. My parents always got itchy feet and wanted to move, which meant that I dont have a childhood home to remember, I also dont have the childhood friends that kids who had a settled childhood have. My own kids now have both.
When our friends get exciting job opportunities overseas and face the propect of moving around every few years, while everyone is mostly jealous (and they are almost always people who never moved as kids), I find it hard to be excited for them because I’m feeling for their kids and what they’ll have to go through. Starting new schools and making new friends all over again. Thats something I would never wish for my own children and would do anything possible to avoid it, because I did it myself.
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Nat, we all feel the same way about our family house too! We 3 kids have moved out and started families but we all still meet & come together at our old place where my parents still live. My parents have been in the same home for over 30 years and even have the same neighbours! They actually bought another house on the same street to rent out as well! All our memories are wrapped up in our family home and even more so now that my kids have their sleep-overs at grandma’s in my old bedroom. My sister has (joked??) that she will buy the house and move in once my parents downsize – which is likely to be sometime soon
At least you should get a great new holiday house?!
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A couple of years ago, friends of mine visited Cairns. I asked them if they’d take pix of the two houses we lived in (in Grafton Street.)
One of the houses has been turned into backpackers’ accom, and the other … well, we’re not sure, looks like a nasty big block of units.
Made me feel quite indignant – and sorrowful
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My boyfriend lives in Grafton St (he lives in Cairns)! Probably in that nasty big block of units…
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Suck it up everyone. Your very lucky if you had a home at all.
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I don’t think anyone here thinks that they weren’t lucky to have a childhood home that resonated so strongly. I feel incredibly lucky to have grown up with such stability.
This article just recognises that when the time comes and our parents move out of those family homes, we are really saying goodbye to that last little bit of our childhood.
I’m sad and sorry for those who didn’t get to grow up in this way, but I won’t be made feel guilty that I had a lovely childhood and I won’t feel guilty that I’m a little sad when that last vestige goes.
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How nasty Dee. Noone’s saying that they weren’t lucky or even that it’s the norm to have this.
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I so relate to this. My Dad designed our family house, we moved there when I was 2 and I moved out when I was 27. Mum and Dad are still there but it is a big house on a huge block and it is all getting too much for them. They know the time to move is coming. But leaving it will be heartbreaking.
It isn’t just the house, with the marks on the wall by the fridge showing our height at each birthday or the specially built cupboards to display special things. It is also all the wild birds that they hand feed each day, the lovely neighbours, the beautiful setting.
More than a few tears will be shed when the decision is finally made.
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Natalia – i can definitely relate to this post! We moved into our family home in 1988 when I was 4 years old. I loved that house and to me it was my favourite place in the world and I was very attached to it! After my parents got divorced and I moved out of home I knew that Mum wouldn’t keep the house for that long. It was just her and my brother living there and it was too big a house for only two people. She sold the house in 2009 when I was living overseas. I knew that it was goign to happen so I said goodbye to the house before I moved and I felt very sad
My Mum now lives in another smaller house not too far away and even though it’s not quite the same as my family home I’m now quite attached to this little house and love visiting! It is sad and it is a loss but you do cope and I’ve moved around so much in the past few years (both here and abroad) and am now used to moving and adjusting to new places a lot more than I used to be.
On another note, my Grandparents used to live in the next street and I was very attached to their home as well and was so sad when my Grandma had to move into a retirement home and sell that house. I often drive past their old house and feel a twinge of nostalgia as much as I do when I pass MY old family home
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My parents still live in the house I grew up in, which is located right next door to the house my boyfriend and I bought and moved into on Saturday. Most of the neighbours are still the same as when I lived here as a child (5-17). We disn’t plan on buying next door to my parents but the house came up for sale, we loved the house and the area and the price was good so here we are!
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Cue sitcom! “Everybody Loves Elise”
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AHh Nat. I remember exactly this feeling.
My parents built their first house and moved in when I was a baby – I think 4 months old? They also bought a pedigreed Boxer called Jason and he and I grew up together. I still remember being told how as theirs was one of the first blocks in the street to be built on, that the boundary fences were erected, and when my parents would call Jason, he’d majestically bound over the 6 foot fences in between each block.
They split when I was 7, divorced when I was 8. My mother, sister and I stayed in the house for the remainder of my childhood, until I was kicked out of home at 16. My mother sold the home when she married husband number 3 some 5 or so years later.
I was truly gutted. As much as my childhood wasn’t a bastion of happy, that was the bedroom I had lovingly decorated when I was 15, the cubby house I’d played in, the bedroom window I’d sneak out of, and the hideous kitchen and bathroom carpet my mother had chosen. (Carpet in a bathroom still makes me shudder). The foul orange curtains, the vile 70′s kitchen laminate. Still part of the only childhood home I’d ever known.
Now, weirdly, my mother is on her 4th husband ( I know, right..) and lives two doors up from my childhood home…
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I have lived in the same house my entire life. There is a picture of my Mum and Dad bringing me home from the hospital, standing outside the front gate.
Dad walked out 15 years ago. Now it’s a two-storey that only houses 3 people (and 4 pets). We rattle about in it when one of us goes away for any length of time. It feels really empty. I know in my heart of hearts that it’s too big for the 3 of us, and the upkeep is stressing my Mum out.
I think it’s time it became another family’s forever home. But I’ll need to take the door frame that has mine and my brother’s height’s marked on it from the time we could stand up.
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Seriously? You are lucky to have had such a stable home situation at all. I grew up knowing many, many different homes – never owned and always moving, sometimes skipping out on the landlord, sometimes refuges – such are the parents I knew. You are fortunate and from my perspective I find your reaction annoying.
Just saying.
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I agree, I’m extremely lucky – I count my blessings every day. But I’m also sad that an era is coming to an end. Oh well – can’t please everybody
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if it makes you feel any better nat i probably would have chucked a full-grown adult tantrum. your house sounds amazing. and your parents worked hard to build it, they sound beautiful x
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Thank you old timer, they are beautiful
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how is her reaction annoying? personally, i felt the same thing after living in my house until i was 10. if somewhere/someone/something houses good memories, it’s hard to let go. i really feel for you that you never had that experience
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Hi Kristine,
I’m sorry for the childhood you had. It must have been incredibly tough to move around from place to place. I can’t imagine it.
If you wanted to write about it for us some time, we would love to publish it because it’s something most of us have never (fortunately) experienced.
And so that can make it very hard to see your own childhood – as Nat has written here – as anything other than normal. Because it’s all she knew. Just like all you knew was the anguish of constantly moving.
So it can be hard to feel constantly grateful for something when you know no other way. A bit like someone who is able-bodied being grateful every day for being able to walk.
At a certain point, you do take for granted what you have.
Which is what I love about MM – hearing from so many different people about their different life experiences.
As I said, if you wanted to share yours we would love to hear about it……
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I have comment regret.
What I wrote is no more than a reflection of my own inner turmoil around this subject. I am sorry Nat if this offended you – what I should have pointed out was that I wasn’t annoyed with you personally, I was annoyed with the ideal you represented. I shouldn’t have posted my comment in the heat of the emotional reaction I had to your story and I ought to have known better.
It is a beautiful story and one that I very much hope is told by my own children.
Mia, I appreciate your sentiment and desire to share different perspectives. Hopefully when I’ve worked through my own issues around my childhood I can tell my story from a place that helps others who have or are experiencing a similar reality.
I strongly subscribe to the therapeutic benefits of normalising our experience!
K
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I think you have nailed it Mia – people don’t need to apologise for having lovely memories of their childhood homes, however it can be so hard feeling as though you are on the outside, looking in.
My memories of the family home are not pleasant. Anxiety, tension, abuse, yelling, never knowing how things would be when you came home from school…. those feelings of insecurity never really leave you. So when you come across a lovely post, such as this one, it raises those issues again. Sometimes those envious emotions can come across as being very negative. I think it could be feeling bloody ripped off! Very understandable for many people.
In my own situation, I was rather determined the family home would be a place of warmth and security. My husband grew up in a very happy home, and he knew how much it meant to me to have this for our family. Imagine how happy I am when I hear my adult children talk about how much they loved the home they grew up in. They have no real idea how much I wanted that for them, as I have never told them of the difficult times I had personally.
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Kairam, I feel the same. The greatest success of my life is not my stellar career, great friends, awesome husband, being happy and liking myself, no, it is knowing I’ve built a home where my beautiful 9 year old daughter feels safe, loved and secure…
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My parents and I moved to Europe when I was 5 but they never stopped talking about their gorgeous house in Australia that they regretably sold. I moved back to Australia 17 years later and decided to visit my childhood home for memory’s sake. I went and knocked on what was now a random strangers house. The family that lived there were the same people my parents had sold to. They had a son who was around my age too….
We have been together nearly 5 years.
We have kind of gotten over the fact that we have had, the same childhood home, same bedroom, same babysitter etc. The coolest thing though is that his family adopted my family’s cat when we moved away. So there are photo’s of me as a kid with my cat and photos of him with HIS cat, but it’s the same cat! They even kept the name my parents had given him!
So whoever’s feeling sentimental about the house they grew up in, a visit might not hurt. You never know what you might find!
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That is an awesome story!!
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Oooh your story just gave me tingles!
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The house I lived in my whole life (until 22) was recently knocked down (to be rebuilt on the same block), I had already moved out of home, but it still felt like I was letting a massive part of my life go. So many memories of family dinners, building a ‘golf course’ with my brother, jumping on the trampoline, helping my dad fix our swing set etc. I still have those memories, which is the important bit, but the physical part is now gone.
Don’t worry Nat, I had a little cry to myself as well. It’s an odd feeling.
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I love that you guys are starting to put up articles that are exactly as we would think, but no one really talks about it, if you get what I mean.
My parents had the house built that we grew up in because they won Lotto (apparently if they hadn’t, they wouldn’t have been able to afford to have any of us! :0 ) It was a large house by 1981 standards, a decent 4×2 on an acre. Half of the acre was grass and gardens and house, the rest was bush. Which made for one awesome childhood! For a few years, before one of the fences blew over in a storm, we had a swamp that appeared every winter, and tadpoles. I could never figure out where they went in summer, but they came back every winter!
We had a beautiful built in pool, and as we got older, may parents installed a spa in a nice enclosure, which made for many drunken spa nights as we grew from teens to 20 somethings.
They decided to move once my brother and I had both moved out. Strangely, to a bigger house (to Perthians, one of those Canning Vale monstrosities). I think the main issue was that the land and upkeep of a 25yo house. The roof needed doing, no one used the pool anymore, there was a crapload of grass to be mowed and firebreaks due to the size and zoning of the property. It was sad, but husband and I bought a house of our own around the same time, so the excitement of my first house overshadowed the sadness of my childhood home not being there for me any more.
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My grandmother passed away about a year ago now, but my aunty and uncle have lived there while it’s on the market. It’s now sold and settlement is in September. It wasn’t the home I grew up in (I’m fortunate that my parents have no plans to move), but it was my second childhood home.
It was where me and my 12 cousins would play every Sunday afternoon while my uncles played cards and my aunties gossiped in the lounge room.
I went there just this Sunday and my uncles were still playing cards, my aunties still gossiping in the lounge room and I was playing hot wheels with my cousin’s bubs, just like a played hot wheels with my cousins when we were young.
I can’t believe my good fortune that a good 20-25 years later these same traditions are taking place but they’ll be without a home next month and I’m pretty shattered about it. Particularly given the place will be demolished for a couple of townhouses. I love the looking into the past gallery – maybe I could pull something like that off before settlement…
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It’s so hard saying goodbye to your childhood house. I have two I think of as the houses I grew up in, and the first (which we left when I was 11) has a lot of amazing memories that now seem quite distant.
I spent all of my teen years in the second, so there are all the “coming of age” stories there…when my Mum and Stepdad bought a property and moved out of that house I felt sad but not too sad. It’s only now, when I go back to visit and walk past it, that all the memories really hit me. My brother knows the people that live there now, but I’m glad I don’t…I still wish I could go back there and relive everything.
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I don’t have a “house I grew up in.”
My parents split up when I was four and the family house got sold when I was six. By the time I was 17, I’d moved 12 times in total and lived in 13 different houses or units. That averages out to an average stay of 1 year and 5 months.
It was unsettling growing up. The suburb became the ‘home’ for me rather than all those properties.
I loved the ‘Looking into the past’ gallery.
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Such a beautiful post Nat! I’ve lived in 4 different houses while growing up with my family. We moved to Australia when I was 5 turning 6 and lived with my aunt for the first few months before my parents bought their first house in Perth. Just like your parents Nat they had worked hard before moving to a new country and wanted to build a life as soon as possible in Australia. I still remember that house it was a small house in a quiet suburbs, it had one of those above ground swimming pools. My younger sister was born a year later and I remember my dad going to work in the factory near by, his first job in Australia. I also remember the primary school we went to was close by so my older sister and I would ride our bikes there with my dad following behind.
My mum liked/likes to move and loves change, even if it’s rearranging the furniture in the house every few months. So a few years later we moved into our second house, also in Perth. This was around when I was going into Grade 4 or 5 and I remember having to change schools. That house was on a cul de sac and I remember all us neighbourhood kids would play together OUTSIDE! That house also had a pool but this time it was a regular pool, I remember rescuing my younger sister from falling in there once! I also remember the trampoline in the back yard, no nets around those ha!
By the time I was in high school we had moved again, another house in Perth. I finished high school there and stayed there throughout my 1st and 2nd years of uni before moving to Melbourne on my own, moving back to Perth, then moving back to Melbourne again. This house was amazing it was HUGE and I loved it! But there was also a lot of hard times there but I think my parents were especially proud of that one. It was the hardest to let go of as well. It was within walking distance to my cousin’s house and we used to get together all the time. Our neighbours were also fantastic, we had an old couple on our right, no kids and they were so active! Sadly the guy got cancer and passed away a few years ago and last time I was in Perth I visited the lady who still lives there and who had gone through a bout of cancer herself. There was also a park down the street where we would walk my cousin’s dog or just go for a walk, plus there was deli/milkbar there too which we loved!
After that like I said I was in Melbourne and my family decided to follow me. So then my parents bought their first house in Melbourne and they still live there, if they are there as they work outside of Melbourne. Now of course I’m in the U.S living in my second place since moving here.
Ok that was long lol! Thanks for taking me down memory lane Nat
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On the other hand my husband grew up and lived in the same house until we were married! Since I moved quiet a few times growing up I can’t imagine how that feels like and he can’t imagine how it feels to move around.
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NAT! I know how you feel!
My parents are selling our family home – the one I was brought home to when I was born. I have so many memories in that house. I remember it beinging built, I remember painting the letterbox with my dad and oldest brother when I was really little, I remember walking up the street on my first day of primary school, I remember crashing by bike in the front garden, I remember the trees my brothers and I used to climb, I remember moving into my oldest brothers room once they moved out of home, I remember my 18 birthday party – man everything happened in that house.
But the thing is – they are moving to the front block. Even though they are only moving what will now be nextdoor, what happens when I go home to visit mum and dad. Other people will be in my house, in my room!!
Can I suggest you do what my brothers and I are going to do – we are all returning home for one last weekend to celebrate what was our home!! There will probably be tears as that house is what I still call home but I must go celebrate it and everything that happened in that house!
Here’s cheers to our family homes!!
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That was such a lovely piece, Nat, thank you for sharing. I felt like I could see your house. And your parents created an amazing design with their hard-earned dollars!!
My grandmother still lives in “the family home” in a leafy Brisbane suburb that used to be considered a long way from the city when they bought it for $40K but is now practically “inner” and worth over a million.
Ten years ago she was considering selling and buying a serviced apartment on the Coast to relax in but my mum’s brothers and sisters were all “where will we go for Christmas?!” and “no, that’s the home we grew up in!”
Now we don’t even go there for Christmas – we take turns hosting – and grandma at 87 is still living in that great big house!
Home is where the heart is… but it’s hard not to be in love with real estate?
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Wow, you only knew one house as a kid?
I lived in 9 places between birth and the age of 17 when I left home.
Now, at 48, I’ve lived in 57 different places, and that doesn’t count times like now, when I’m working away from home but still have my place in the city.
The worst part is never having a “home” to go to for holidays or to see family, and I don’t understand how people can get emotionally attached to a house.
I’m so over this gypsy life!
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Oh! No, that was “the family home” meaning where mum and her brothers and sisters grew up – some from teens, some from birth.
And where the family considers “home base” – but that’s because of Grandma, not the house (in my opinion)!
I lived there when I was very little, before mum and I moved to the Gold Coast. We lived in 3 different places over the next 12 years together.
I have lived in only 4 since “moving out” 13 years ago though – one of those for 8 years. I don’t like moving!
If I was a removalist I would throw myself under a fridge!
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Nat, can I just say that this is such a beautiful post. I absolutely adored it. (And I liked it even more because I’ve been to your house and could picture it).
As much as I have a house I grew up in, I also have a street I grew up in. We lived in 4 houses in the one street. The house Mum’s live in now is the one we moved to when I was 9 and it’s still my special place. When I go home to Melbourne every couple of weeks/months, I breathe a sigh of relief when we drive down the driveway.
It’s a real home. The kind of place where you just want to curl up into a ball on the couch by the fire. There’s always people around and always yummy things being cooked up in the kitchen. And there’s still a height chart marked out in pen on the inside of the pantry
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I selfishly wish my parents still lived in out house in Tasmania and i could go back and relish the feeling of family and belonging.
But mum is dead and Dad lives with his new partner in a different state. The house had been sold years before and my parents had a farm. But after Mum died we sold it. I went back with my 16month old and 3 week old babies to help do it up to sell.
It was healing and felt like being in a family again, the safe one, the child while Dad and his girlfriend worked hard to get the place looking sellable.
I miss it- that connection to the past and my childhood.
I envy my husband his family still living in the same place they have for 110 years- thaat connection and the ability to go in and out when we please. He knows who her is an where he belongs.
Best of luck to your family though- People deserve to retire where they want and to live their dreams. Families grow up and it is time again to start afresh in the next phase. Maybe a new home helps define that change.
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