Breaking news: Vibrators are not intimidating to men. A survey conducted by Indiana University polled over 3,000 Americans aged 18 to 60 and found that the idea that a vibrator could be intimidating is a worry largely held by women. Results showed that 70 percent of men had no problem with the aid of a little buzzing but 37 percent of women either agreed or strongly agreed with the idea that using a vibrator would upset their partners.
According to Live Science, the study gave male and female participants identical online surveys and they were asked to agree or disagree with positive statements like “[vibrators are a] healthy part of many women’s sex lives” and negative ones like “[using vibrators] makes women too dependent on them for pleasure,” Nearly half of participants either “agreed” or “strongly agreed” with all of the positive belief statements and less than 10 percent endorsed the negative statements.
So are we getting ready to take the vibrator from its hiding place in the sock drawer? The ad agencies obviously think we are
What do you think? Are we ready to talk about vibrators? I’m not talking about whipping one out at a business meeting but have we reached the point where we are comfortable to take out a vibrator when we are with our partners or alone? Do you use one?
Comments
33 Comments so far
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nah, i don’t use one. give me a manual orgasm any day. nothing like human touch, and my bf is a master at it. oral sex for the win.
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Uuuuuum…
“Results showed that 70 percent of men had no problem with the aid of a little buzzing but 37 percent of women either agreed or strongly agreed with the idea that using a vibrator would upset their partners.”
So, really, only 7% of women surveyed had communication issues with their partner or misconceptions about vibrators being intimidating.
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No vibrator, no climax unfortunately – hubby knows my “boy” is an essential part of life between the sheets. Given the frequency of sex has increased since the boy arrived for Xmas two years ago, he’s more than happy to make him a part of the family. I only wish I’d been given one for my 18th birthday rather than wait until my 40s !
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I think it’s great that you’re having orgasms with a vibrator, but I think it’s a shame you can’t have one without one.
Sorry if I start sounding like a sex therapist, but vibrators are a great way to learn about your sexual response. My first orgasms were against spa bath jets, electric toothbrushes and ‘massage’ kits… starting from the age of 12. However, now, I can always make myself come without a vibrator, and it really makes me feel as though I’m in control of my sexual pleasure – which is a great thing!
Watching porn (quality porn – not rubbish) can also help switch your mind on and align it with your clitoris. I once read a great book (which I beileve you can buy on Amazon.com) called Five Minutes to Orgasm Every Time You Make Love. That also had some useful information in it.
Happy orgasms!
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Well bully for you. I can’t come without electric assistance and it’s not for lack of trying. It’s pretty patronising to assume that because you started out experimenting with assistance but were able to transition to manual that everyone can if they just work at it. I worked at it for more than fifteen years and it never worked; in fact it just made me feel wretched and a failure. My (now) husband was the first man I had sex with with a toy, and therefore the first man I ever climaxed with. And frankly, I don’t think I’d be any better off manually. Sorry my sex life isn’t exactly like yours, which must obviously be immeasurably better due to your superior personal orgasming skills. Sheesh.
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Well bully for you.
Sorry my sex life isn’t exactly like yours, which must obviously be immeasurably better due to your superior personal orgasming skills. Sheesh.
I don’t think that you need to be quite so snarky. The person who you were replying to was just trying to be helpful to “Yeah” and was speaking nicely.
It’s replies like yours with your tone and your choice of words that turn people off commenting on forums
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What a stupid thing to say. Not everyone can have orgasms ‘manually’. Some women live for decades without orgasms because it just doesn’t happen, and vibrators are the only thing that work.
Ugh. Your post is so patronising.
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I lost my virginity at 17 and didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 27. I managed to have an orgasm at 27 after I bought a book called “Becoming Orgasmic”. Part of the process outlined in the book to train your body and to teach it to have orgasms did suggest that you use a vibrator initially to learn your bodies responses but then to progress on from that. I’m not sure if that book is still available but it did teach me how to teach my body to orgasm.
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Hello ladies – just thought I’d add that I didn’t find Yeah!’s response to my comment offensive. One of the perils of written communication, it can be hard to interpret a person’s intentions without the aid of body language. Might also add that I think one reason for the need for electronic or manual stimulation is my inability to relax completely – I even find it hard to pay full attention during any meditation classes. I’m also one of those people who rely on the doorbell being rung non-stop if there’s to be any climax happening, which can be hard work when there are other things to concentrate on !
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Got a vibrator?! I’ve got five!!!
All different types, they’re fantastic. I can’t get over the feeling & strength of orgasm of my rabbit. Then I have a silver bullet which is also great. I we-vibe to use w my b/f, vibrating cock ring (unreal during sex w bf).
The more the merrier.
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Book one now and we provide the education on GSpots, Orgasms and a whole range of other sexuality and relationship education in your own home and can personally recommend the right product for you. Check us out http://www.cassandrascollection.com/playshops/
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In the past I’ve used vibraters quite a bit, both with my sexual partners and when alone.
The only problem I have is that your body can get conditioned to that amount of stimulation making it harder to achieve orgasm without it. In the end I weaned myself off them.
“Natural” or maybe I should use the term “manual” orgasms can be harder to achieve but (to my very own humble opinion) are better.
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My partner googled “best vibrator” and came up with the We-vibe. Its brilliant I love it. Thanks honey x
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My husband bought mine! He was away overseas a few years ago and was getting very randy because of no sex. He ordered my a vibro, Spanish Fly love drops and a French Maids outfit!
We had great fun with it and I still have it, though we have not used it for a long time.
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Don’t like vibrators, the actual vibration puts me off. Just a regular dildo for me.
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The only time my husband has ever been intimidated by my vibrator was when 3yo Boo found it and asked what it was and I said ‘Go on honey, tell her!’ He fled the room. I told her it was Mummy’s back massager.
She bought it.
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I have to laugh, because I have lost count of how many times I have whipped out my Be Be vibrator at a business meeting!!
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What on EARTH do yo do for a living? Must be fun!
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Give vibrators a go ladies
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My hubby and I use one a fair bit as an ‘enhancement’ to what is already fun!
He’s never had an issue with it
I reckon if I used it exclusively and it meant less sex for us that would be a different story- but in the majority of cases I save any desire in the bedroom for him (not just myself!). I hold the same opinion with porn – great aid in the bedroom – not such a great idea if chronically watched to the exclusion of partner. Sharing is caring! Hahaha
All of this said, it’s for us privately – you wouldn’t catch me chatting to my girlfriends about it. I don’t think I’m a prude, but I don’t think it’s anyone’s business but ours!
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Use one yes, in fact we designed one.
http://www.mamamia.com.au/relationships/guest-post-how-two-ordinary-women-created-a-vibrator/
If you are are curious http://www.lovebeingwoman.com
Ove the years I have spoken and listened(mainly listened) to 1000′s of men and women talk about vibrators and their sex life.
There are alot of men who would love to incorporate a vibrator into their sex life yet are met with disapproval from their partners.
And about the same amount of women who would love to use one with
their partners, but the partner feels threatened!! Let’s face it, we have been conditioned about how we view sex and out sexuality. It’s goes alot deeper than just a little battery operated accessory.
It’s time we take responsibilty as men and women to think for ourselves and more importantly express ourselves , not repress!
I have had a customer who after 40 years of marriage wanting to be playful with sex and her husband not repsonding positvely.
After he died, she married again and her new husband encouraged her playful nature and at 65 years old , was so excited to be buying her first vibrator.
And I have many more stories like that. This is why I love what I do, allowing people to be true to themselves.
I
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Just sent my husband the link to your site with a suggestion that a Be Be might be a very welcome Xmas pressie. He seemed pretty keen!! Fingers crossed for happy endings this Chrissie!!
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Check out Lelo. A bit more expensive but amaazing!
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I have three words. Medisil magic touch. Money well spent!
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And three more words … Je Joue SaSi … and be prepared to act like Sally, but you won’t be pretending.
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I use a vibrator every time I sleep with my partner (at some stage during the act anyway). It’s great. He says he wish he could make it happen for me himself, but he just likes to see my orgasm face. Which I’m sure is incredibly unattractive, but whatever, I get to have an orgasm. Hells yes.
Oh, and I must’ve broken it out when we’d been together about two weeks. I’m not gonna pretend I don’t want to come.
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So 30% of men do have some level of problem with vibrators in the bedroom, and 37% of women think that men have a problem with it. So I don’t think it’s a concern “largely held by women”, the numbers aren’t actually that different between the genders!
(If that makes sense…)
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I love how this is under ‘relationships!’ Haha
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You don’t think that sex is about relationships?
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Yeah, cos that’s really been worrying me, whether my partner is intimidated by a vibrator. Yet another example of the mismanagement of research funding in the states to keep academics in their tenures. We do realise this dame money could have instead gone to vital medical research! Honestly, there are vibrators and (shock horror) some people use them happily, now lets move on to more worthwhile discussion.
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Remember 10-15 years ago some academic found that the nose is a sexual organ? Geez.
I always assume that these results are part of another important project.
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Not intimidating at all. If anything they’re exciting. A vibrator says a woman enjoys sexual activity. Sharing it with her partner says she REALLY enjoys it. All wins from my perspective.
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hmmm…I don’t think they’ve been taboo since the start of the noughties, thank you SATC girls!